WARNINGS: content dealing with rape
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Joss Whedon and co. I do own Claire.
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Lights flashed angrily before his eyes. Police sirens wailed in the rainy night that threatened to swallow Lindsey McDonald whole. The shadows groped at him, trying to pull him in and he was finding it harder and harder to resist. He shivered under the blue rain coat the police had given him and pulled it tighter around his body. Rain slid down the back of his neck, down the end of his nose and between his eyes. The slow trickle of water down his back made him very cold.
Lindsey stood on the sidewalk in front of his house, shivering under a tree. His hands were shoved deep into the coat pockets and his fingers were clenched into tight fists. He felt so small and so useless standing there, he wanted to be inside, trying to help with the emergency. Making sure no one had been hurt.
One of the police officers began to walk toward him, taking small and hesitant steps. Lindsey closed his eyes, fearing the worst. He knew what they were going to tell him, he knew what had happened in his home that night.
"Mr. McDonald?" The officer asked.
Lindsey opened his eyes. "Can I get into my home now?"
"We need you to come over to the ambulance for a moment." He said. "Then you might want to find a hotel room for a few days."
Lindsey nodded slowly, then followed the officer toward the ambulance that was parked in front of his house. The blue and red lights whirled, colouring the misty rain that fell. His vision blurred time and again, forcing him to walk slowly, his feet dragging.
The paramedics wheeled the stretcher out of the house. Lindsey cringed, turning away. The white sheet that covered the stretcher was stained red.
"I don't want to." He whispered.
The officer glanced at him. "I know this is hard Mr. McDonald, but you do realize the importance of this, don't you?"
He nodded and took a step toward the stretcher. As his hand left the pocket, everything else melted away. The police officer by his side, the paramedics sadly shaking their heads, the lights, the sirens, the rain. Everything left him. All he could see was the white and red sheet in front of him and his badly trembling hand.
Lindsey tried to close his eyes, he willed them to shut and block out what he was going to see, but they wouldn't. They stayed open and forced him to find out what was under the sheet. His hand reached the corner and tugged it back gently.
"No." He breathed, staring into her face.
One brown eye was wide open, staring at him in pain. Blood matted her blonde hair to her face and neck, it turned her blue tee shirt a horrible colour.
Lindsey took a step, stumbled and fell backward. His hand caught the edge of the sheet on the stretcher and pulled it down on top of him. He heard the police officer cry out and reach to help him, but Lindsey shrugged off the hand. He got to his feet slowly, staring at the body that was now completely uncovered.
She had been disemboweled.
Lindsey turned around and threw up on the sidewalk. As he did, everything came rushing back to him. The paramedics scrambled for the sheet and covered up the body, taking care to tuck it around her tightly so he couldn't pull it off again. The police officer patted him gently on the back.
"You'll be okay." He whispered. "I know it's hard now, but you'll be okay."
Lindsey panted, wiping his mouth and straightening his body to look at the officer. "Why did I have to see that?"
The officer shrugged helplessly. "I'm really sorry, but we needed you to identify the body."
"It's not a body, it's my fiancée!" Lindsey growled at him angrily.
"I'm so sorry Mr. McDonald. That was insensitive." He sighed. "But . . . is it her?"
Lindsey closed his eyes, raising his face to the rain. "Yeah." He whispered. "It's Claire."
Lindsey's eyes opened and he sat up in his bed, his heart pounding against the inside of his chest. He sat there for a moment, trying to remember exactly what had scared him so badly. What could he possibly dream about that could top the life he lived?
It came back to him in one huge wave of memories. He had come home after work to find an ambulance parked outside his house and his fiancée dead. She had been slaughtered, executed and tortured horribly. Lindsey sighed and shut his eyes, trying to close out the memories.
After a few moments, he threw back the sheets on his bed and stepped out of the room. He knew he wouldn't sleep anymore that night. Going into the kitchen, he pulled out a chair and sat down heavily, laying his head on the table.
It had been years since he'd dreamed about her, years since he'd thought about her death. Lindsey thought about her at least once a day, but he never thought of the way she had died. He tried to shut that out of his mind. The only thing that gave him even a little relief from the guilt he felt was the fact that he had helped convict her killer.
It had been the first case Wolfram and Hart had decided to give him. Holland had been a little wary about it at first, he thought Lindsey would take the case too personally, but eventually he had given in.
Lindsey remembered standing in the court room, delivering his closing argument against the lawyer that was representing her murderer, the man that had taken her from him. He knew he had nailed the case in that moment and it was the first time in the eleven months since her death that he had felt happy, even for just a moment. With all the evidence they had against him, there was no way he would walk free.
An autopsy had revealed the time she had died and the way she'd been killed. He had hit her once with a hammer, stunning her. After he was finished, he hit her over the head again, crushing her skull on impact. He didn't open her up and pull out her insides until later in the evening. During that autopsy, the forensic pathologist had called Lindsey and delivered the final blow in Claire's death; she had been pregnant. Only two months along, Claire had probably just begun to show signs. And Lindsey was sure the man who had taken her life had found out and it had probably brought him even more joy than the murder had.
It was even brought out during the case that the killer had worked at the university she attended and had developed an obsession with her. But she had turned down his advances, she had been with Lindsey the entire time and the killer didn't like that. He wanted her.
After conviction he had yelled across the courtroom, "If I couldn't have her, I made sure no one else could."
Lindsey still cringed thinking about the way those words had slapped against him. They had torn him up inside and he had broken down on the court room floor. Claire's mother had seen Lindsey crying and it had finally pushed her over the edge. Her pregnant daughter had been killed and while her boyfriend had made sure the killer was sent to prison, he couldn't even deal with the pain.
Two months later, the suicide note addressed to her husband begged that he stay close to Lindsey because she feared for his sanity. "Don't let him get too depressed." She had written. "Make him your son."
But Lindsey had never seen Claire's father again after her mother's funeral. They had talked on the phone a few times, but he was so busy with Wolfram and Hart that they grew distant and soon they didn't talk at all.
Sighing, Lindsey stood up and went back to his bedroom, turning on the lights as he went. He stood in front of the closet, and reached onto the top shelf, his hand finding its way under blankets and boxes. He finally found what he was looking for and pulled it down.
It was a picture of her, taken only a few weeks before she had died. Her blonde hair was down, gentle waves framing her face. Her brown eyes were warm and inviting, her mouth open in a laugh. The laugh that he would never forget. In the picture, Lindsey stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her shoulders. Although she was looking at the camera, his blue eyes were turned down slightly, staring at her face. He couldn't even take his eyes off her long enough for a picture.
Lindsey shook his head sadly, then put the picture back in it's hiding place. He turned and crawled back into his bed, shutting off the light as he went. Burying his head under the blankets and pillows, Lindsey closed his eyes, praying he would fall back asleep.
But sleep eluded him for a long time. When it finally did come, all he could see was her face.
Lilah Morgan sat in the dark office as Wolfram and Hart, her eyes closed in a careful trance. A man in a dark cloak walked behind her, swinging a lantern on the end of a chain. He chanted carefully, as Lilah concentrated.
"Can you see what's in his mind?" The man asked.
Her eyes opened. "I get two names. Claire and Forrest. His dead fiancée."
"Concentrate on that woman." He said. "Do you know her face?"
Lilah nodded. "I met her once."
"Picture that in your mind." He ordered.
Lilah closed her eyes again and concentrated on what she remembered of Lindsey's fiancée. After a moment she felt an intense heat against the front of her body, then it faded. The man behind her laughed.
Lilah opened her eyes to find a blonde woman lying on the desk in front of her. She was completely still, not even breathing. She walked toward the desk and gently touched her fingers to the woman's neck.
She frowned and turned to the man. "She has no pulse."
He nodded and gestured toward the desk again.
Lilah turned back in time to see the woman's eyes fly open as she took her first breath of air. She choked, the air caught in her throat and she tried to sit up. Her eyes darted around, full of fear and terror, then her hands flew to her stomach. Almost as soon as she had taken the breath, she fell back down to the desk, breathing steadily.
"And tomorrow?" Lilah asked, a pleased smile on her face.
"She'll remember nothing of her old life. I've given her new memories, she went to law school, she remembers her interview with you and she remembers the call telling her that her new job starts tomorrow."
"The baby?" Lilah asked. "Is she still pregnant?"
He nodded. "She won't remember that either. She'll never know how she became pregnant."
Lilah smiled again and stared at the woman on the desk. "Welcome to Wolfram and Hart."
Angel was walking by the law firm late at night when he saw the orange glow and felt the heat radiating off the building. As soon as the room on one of the upper floors reached a blinding colour, it faded and the heat disappeared almost seconds after it had come.
The vampire stared at the window he had seen glowing for a moment longer, but nothing happened. He frowned, his brow knitting together in a look of worry.
"What are you guys up to now?" He wondered aloud.
Lilah Morgan plastered the fake smile on her face as Lindsey McDonald entered their office. She immediately noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the way his hair was slightly rumpled.
"Late night?" She asked, tossing a grin in his direction.
"Shut it Lilah." He growled, throwing his briefcase onto his desk. "I'm not in the mood for your games."
She smiled innocently. "I was just asking a question. Can't I be concerned about you?"
Lindsey glanced up at her, his eyebrow raised. "The day you're concerned for me, is the day Angel decides I'm his new best buddy."
Lilah frowned. "Frankly Lindsey, I'm hurt."
"Aren't feelings reserved for people with souls?" He asked, shooting a fake smile at her.
After a moment of silence, Lilah went to Lindsey's desk and sat on it. "I have some information you might like."
"And what's that?" He asked.
Lilah tossed her hair. "Well, since Holland died and we've taken over his position, we've been short a few lawyers. I hired someone new this weekend."
"Really?" Lindsey asked, his tone indication how uninterested he was. "What's his name?"
"Her name is Claire Forrest." Lilah said.
Lindsey stopped, his eyes wide. Then he shook his head and blinked. His Claire had been Claire Gregory, not Claire Forrest. The strange thing was, the name of her killer had been Forrest Newfield. Besides, his Claire could never work as a lawyer. She had been killed four years before she was meant to graduate.
Shaking off the feeling, he looked at her. "Why didn't you consult with me before deciding to do some hiring?" He asked.
Lilah shrugged. "I felt that we needed some new blood around here." She grinned. "Not literally, of course."
Lindsey nodded. "Well, I'm sure you did a fine job of finding a new lawyer. She's probably great. Can't wait to meet her."
"Oh, I don't doubt it. You're going to freak when you meet this girl Lindsey, she's fabulous."
He nodded again, casting her a look that asked if she was crazy. "I'm sure she is. Would you mind if I got some work done now?"
Lilah smiled. "Sorry. I'll just be down in your old office showing Claire around. She's going to love it in there."
"What are you talking about?" Lindsey asked. "My old office? That place is reserved for junior partners."
"She's good Lindsey. She's really good." Lilah said. "I'm thinking once you see her stuff, you'll want to promote her to junior partner as much as I do."
"She's been here for one day!" He exclaimed.
"I've seen her work." Lilah replied. "She's here and she's going to drive you crazy."
Leaving the office, Lilah turned to look at him one last time. Lindsey was hunched over his work, writing furiously and she smiled once more. "She's going to drive you crazy . . . and that's my intention." She whispered, then shut the door and went to meet their new lawyer.
"I don't know what it was, or what it caused, but something was going on at Wolfram and Hart last night." Angel said.
Cordelia yawned and filed her nails. "Didn't you tell us you're not going to go running around every time that stupid law firm does something? What happened to your epiphany?"
Angel glanced at her, then turned his helpless gaze to Gunn and Wesley.
Gunn broke first. "Darla's out of the picture permanently Cordy. We know she took off and that was the main problem. Wolfram and Hart are still the bad guys and if Angel says something went down there . . . then we should probably check it out."
Wesley nodded. "I agree. They're still a main concern."
"Fine." Cordelia sighed. "But what are we supposed to do about an orange glow?"
Gunn glanced at the vampire. "The girl has a point. We don't really know a lot about what's going on. I mean, we've been out of the Wolfram and Hart loop for a couple of weeks now."
"So we get back into it." Angel said.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow. "And how do we do that? They don't exactly send out a newsletter for us."
Angel sighed. "I don't know. What do you guys suggest we do next? Because I'm drawing a total blank here."
Lilah was leading Claire down the hall toward Lindsey's office. "I'm sure you'll love it here." She was saying. "I know your old firm was much smaller than this, but you really have a knack for the tough cases and we need someone like you on our side."
Claire smiled. "Thanks Lilah. I've been looking for a break for a few months now, but no one seemed willing to hire me."
"And I'm glad they didn't." Lilah exclaimed. "Otherwise we would have missed the chance to snatch you up like we did." They fell into silence as they neared Lindsey's office. "You're about to meet Lindsey McDonald, who's co-vice president of special cases with me. When our superior died, we both got the job." They stopped at the door and Lilah turned toward her. "Now, I don't want to get your hopes up yet, but I'm thinking of having you fill Lindsey's old job."
Claire frowned. "What was he?"
Lilah touched Claire's shoulder and smiled. "He was junior partner."
"He was . . . what?"
"You heard me."
Claire's face erupted into a smile. "I can't believe this. It's incredible. I've only been here for a day and already you're thinking of promoting me."
"I've seen your cases Claire, you're almost better than Lindsey was." Lilah said. "I truly believe you can do it." She placed her hand on the office door. "Come on, I'll introduce you to the man himself."
Lindsey was glaring angrily at his prosthetic hand when Lilah rapped on the door. He growled at the hand for a moment longer, cursing the fact that it made typing nearly impossible, then looked up.
"Come in." He called, then turned back to his computer and typed with one hand.
Lilah pushed the door open and motioned for someone to follow her. Lindsey watched her, frowning slightly as another woman walked into the room.
His breath caught in his throat and his head began to spin.
"Claire?" He managed to wheeze out, before coughing painfully.
The woman frowned. "H-how do you know who I am?"
Lilah glanced at Lindsey. "Yes, how do you know her? I didn't show you any pictures."
Lindsey struggled to breathe, gasping for air, his hand grasping at the papers on his desk. He coughed again, then regained control slightly, his breath still ragged and shallow.
Claire was still staring at him in confusion.
"I'm sorry." Lindsey said, getting up. "But, you're Claire Gregory."
She shook her head. "No, my name is Claire Forrest."
"No, you don't understand. Claire Gregory, she . . ." he trailed off, realizing how stupid he sounded. Both women were staring at him now, Lilah with shock and Claire with concern. He was being crazy, there was no way the woman could be Claire Gregory. Lindsey had dated her from twelfth grade until five years ago, when she had been killed. The Claire he knew was dead.
"I'm sorry." He stammered again. "You just look identical to someone I know, uh, knew. Someone I knew." He smiled apologetically. "She died a few years back, which is why I was so shocked. I really am sorry."
A relieved smile broke out on Claire's face. "It's fine. I completely understand, don't worry about it." Another smile graced her face and Lindsey felt a pang of loneliness in his heart. "I supposed that really wasn't a proper introduction." She said, sticking out her right hand. "I'm Claire Forrest."
Lindsey reached out to shake her hand, but remembered the prosthetic. He glanced at it in embarrassment and Claire followed her gaze. Her eyes widened.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." She offered her left hand instead and another smile.
Lindsey smiled back and shook her head. "I'm Lindsey McDonald. Lilah tells me you're one of the best lawyers in the city."
Claire looked down slightly. "I wouldn't say that. Although I am very grateful for this job."
"I'm sure you're as good as Lilah says." Lindsey smiled. "I also hear you're getting my old office."
Her eyes widened again. "It's a great office. All those windows . . ." she trailed off. "I guess I'm just really happy to be here overall."
Lilah smiled. "Sorry to interrupt your work Lindsey. I just thought I should introduce you to Claire. I'll give her the rest of the tour and then we'll get her started on her first case with Wolfram and Hart. We can talk about it later which one we're going to give her."
"Sure," he replied, "I'll see you later Claire."
"Yeah, it was nice to meet you." She replied, then followed Lilah out into the hall.
Lindsey stared at the closed door for a long moment before he went back to his desk and collapsed into his chair. He had to be going crazy, there was no way she could be feel. She talked like his Claire and she laughed and smiled like her. She was identical. But she couldn't be his Claire.
His Claire was dead.
Now all he had to do was convince himself of that fact.
Claire stepped into the bathroom in her apartment the next morning and shut the door gently behind her. She walked over to the bathtub and perched on the edge of it, clutching her stomach lightly. She wondered if it was her new job that was causing her stomach to feel upset. She'd been so happy when Wolfram and Hart had called her for an interview and even happier when Lilah had called to say she had the job, but now she was wondering. Things seemed a little out of place in the entire building.
Especially Lindsey McDonald.
That entire outburst in his office had terrified her, but at the same time, she was wondering what was really going out. For some strange, unexplainable reason, Claire felt like she had known Lindsey before. Like they had been friends or something.
She supposed it was always possible that they had met at some sort of party before this, but she knew she would remember a face and a voice like his. A man with looks like Lindsey McDonald wasn't easy to forget. She knew it would drive her crazy if she went on like this, thinking she had met him, but never really sure.
The thing that had frightened her was his reaction. He had said she looked like someone he was known and he brushed off the encounter. At least, that was what he wanted her to think. The look in his eyes told her different. Every time she said something, especially when she had smiled at him, he had looked so sad.
Claire clutched her stomach again as her breakfast turned and she put one of her hands to her forehead.
"I can't call in sick on my second day at a new job." She murmured. Then she got up off the edge of the tub and went to the toilet, where she threw up her breakfast. Standing unsteadily for a moment, she leaned down, waiting to be sick again. When nothing came, she straightened and realized how much better she felt.
Shrugging, Claire went to the mirror and began to fix her makeup, before realizing she'd done the same thing the morning before. And the morning before that one, and the one before that. Thinking back, she realized she'd been throwing up nearly every morning for a week and a half.
"Better go see a doctor." She mumbled to herself, then went on with what she was doing.
When she was finally ready, she picked up the black briefcase that lay at her front door, and stepped out into the hall. She was excited to get her first case at Wolfram and Hart, but something about Lindsey still made her uneasy. She could swear she had known him before, but she couldn't quite place him.
Shrugging, Claire walked to her car and quickly forgot her strange sense of deja vu as her exhausting day began.
Angel, Gunn and Wesley crouched in the bushes near Wolfram and Hart. They were waiting for the lawyers to walk to their cars and end their work day. The door opened and closed occasionally, but neither Lindsey or Lilah came out.
"There." Wesley whispered and pointed to the door.
Angel and Gunn both followed his finger to find Lindsey holding the door open for two women.
"A new lawyer?" Gunn asked.
"That's all we need." Wesley replied.
"We need a closer look at her." Angel said. "And you both know I can't walk by there."
Gunn glanced at him. "I'll go. They don't know who I am." He stood up and stepped around the bushes, walking toward the lawyers. As they came closer, he frowned, his eyes squinting.
Claire finally caught sight of him and her face broke out in an enormous smile. "Charles?" She called.
Gunn stopped, then smiled. "Claire! My God girl, you are looking good."
"I can't believe it's you." She replied, stopping in front of him. "You look great." She leaned forward to hug him as Lindsey watched in jealously. "How are you?"
Gunn hugged her tightly, then backed off a bit. "I'm great. I'm doing really good. What about you? Fancy new job as a lawyer I see?"
She nodded. "I graduated two years ago. I just got this job a week ago. It's really great. I'm happy here, I really am."
Gunn glanced at Lindsey and Lilah. "I'm sure you are."
Claire looked back at the other two. "I'm sorry. This is Lilah Morgan and Lindsey McDonald. Guys, this is Charles Gunn. I dated him in high school."
Lindsey looked a little shocked. He remembered when they had been in eleventh grade, almost as he had worked up the courage to ask Claire out, some other guy had gotten there first. Some other, younger guy named Charles.
Lilah frowned. She had read up on Claire's history before bringing her back. She had dated a guy named Charles Gunn in eleventh grade, but she wasn't supposed to remember that. She wasn't supposed to remember anything about her life. She was only supposed to remember what they have given her to remember. What if she remembered Lindsey?
"How you doing?" Gunn asked, smiling at them both. He turned back to Claire. "I can't believe you're here. How long has it been?"
"A long time." Claire said, stepping beside him and beginning to walk toward her car. "We definitely have to get together sometime. What about this weekend?"
Gunn smiled at her. "That would be really great. Um, here's my card."
"You have cards?" Claire turned it over in her hands. "Angel Investigations. What do you guys do?" She held her card out to Gunn as she waited for his answer.
Lindsey glanced up sharply.
Gunn smiled. "We help people. Give me a call sometime and we'll talk. It was really great seeing you again. And it was nice meeting both of you. Have a nice evening." With that said, he turned off and walked away.
Making sure they were all in their cars before he joined the others again, Gunn walked slowly. When the last car drove off, he stepped back behind the bushes to see Wesley and Angel.
"You know the new lawyer?" Wesley asked.
Gunn glanced at the card. "Something strange is going on boys."
"What do you mean?" Angel asked.
"The Claire I dated in high school went by the name Claire Gregory. Her card says Claire Forrest."
"So, maybe she got married." Wesley said.
Gunn shook his head. "No, she never got married. In twelfth grade she transferred to another school and started dating a new guy. His name was Lindsey."
Angel raised an eyebrow. "That still doesn't explain anything."
"Five years ago, Claire Gregory was brutally murdered in the home she shared with Lindsey McDonald, months before they were supposed to get married. Her killer was named Forrest Newfield. I went to her funeral Angel."
The vampire sighed. "Wow."
"Yeah, wow is the right word. Claire Gregory is dead." Gunn stared at them, his face full of questions. "So what the hell is she doing working for Wolfram and Hart?"
Gunn spun the card between his fingers as he sat behind the desk in their office. He and Angel were busy pulling up articles that had been written on Claire's death and they found everything from her murder to an interview with the killer himself to the story of the court case that Lindsey McDonald won.
"I know what's bugging me." Gunn finally said.
"Um, your ex girlfriend is suddenly back, but hey, she's supposed to be dead?" Cordelia asked.
He rolled her eyes at her. "Other than that, I mean." Gunn paused for a moment. "She told me she graduated two years ago from law school. But if she had still been alive today, without the whole murder, she would have only graduated one year ago. She dated Lindsey for five years. One year of high school and four years of law school. Then she ended up dead five years ago. But if she had still been alive, it would have taken her four more years to finish school, not three. She would have graduated a year ago."
"Her math is off?" Wesley asked. "I think it's slightly understandable. She's probably very confused right now."
Gunn shook his head. "No, this is really screwed up. She remembered me, but she didn't seem like she remembered Lindsey. I saw him at the funeral and I saw him break down after her killer's conviction. He was devastated, he really did love her. They were inseparable. So, something's going on, why doesn't she remember him?"
"I wish I could answer your questions." Angel said, clicking on a link to another article. "This is such a sad story."
"Read it." Cordelia said.
"Twenty one year old Claire Gregory was found late last night brutally murdered in her home. A neighbour had heard the screams around eleven o'clock p.m., but failed to call the police until he saw a man leaving the house at around one in the morning. Police officers found Gregory on the floor of her living room, her skull smashed and her stomach ripped open. The law school student was living with Lindsey McDonald, twenty two, who came home from school that night to find an ambulance in his driveway. When asked to identify the body, the sheet slipped, showing McDonald the entire body, which included the disemboweled stomach. McDonald declined to comment on the situation, calling a cab to take him to the morgue." Angel glanced up, biting his lip.
"God," Cordelia breathed, "no wonder Lindsey's so screwed up."
"What else is there?" Wesley asked.
Angel sighed. "There's an article on the trial, but it's short. Doesn't really give any facts."
Wesley nodded slowly. "What does it say?"
Gunn cleared his throat. "Recent addition to the Wolfram and Hart staff, Lindsey McDonald, took on and won a case that hits very close to home. Eleven months prior to the ruling, McDonald returned home after a late night at law school to find his fiancée of five years, Claire Gregory, slaughtered in the home. Thirty nine year old, Forrest Newfield was arrested only days later as a suspect of the murder and his trial started two months earlier. Newfield was a custodian at the university Gregory attended and had developed an obsessive relationship with her. After she rejected his requests for dates numerous times, Newfield became dangerous, threatening the life of her fiancé, McDonald. The autopsy showed that Newfield raped Gregory before crushing her skull with a hammer, killing her on impact. Later that night, the forensic pathologist confirmed that Newfield slit open her stomach and pulled out intestines and other major organs. The autopsy also released the statement that Gregory was nearly two months pregnant with McDonald's child at the time of her death. The jury took only fifty two minutes to come to the verdict of guilty on charges of first degree murder, assault with intent to harm, rape and break and enter. Newfield is currently serving two consecutive life sentences with no chance of parole." He shook his head. "Everyone who knew her was so devastated when she died. She was a really great person."
"So how can she be walking around now as a lawyer for Wolfram and Hart?" Angel asked. "She was killed five years ago and now she's working there?"
"I actually feel sorry for Lindsey." Cordelia said. "Could you guys imagine coming home to see that? And then to find out this guy had taken the person you care about more than anything, raped her and killed her? Then to find out she was carrying your child." She shook her head sadly. "Can you imagine?"
Angel closed his eyes. "Never. It would kill me."
"Despite all the things he's done," Cordelia said, "and the fact that he's completely evil, I really feel sorry for him. I wonder what he thinks now. Does he think he's going insane? I wonder what runs through his mind when he reads these articles, then looks at her."