The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

The T.V. is my shepherd; l shall not want.

It maketh me to lie down on the sofa: it leadeth me away from the scriptures.

It destroyeth my soul: it leadeth me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsor's sake.

Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibility, there will be no interruption: for the T.V. is with me; its cable and its remote control they comfort me.

It preparest a commercial before me in the presence of my worldliness: it anointest my head with humanism and consumerism; my covering runneth over.