OPTION #2

"He’s clean enough now. We should get the spell underway. Want to do the honors, Frank?"

"Anything you want, Marian. A-hem!"

"Please, don’t do this! I like it how I am now. Please…"

"Shh, Alex. It’ll all be over soon. Go ahead, Frank."

"A-hem. Diana, Artemis, goddesses of the moon and virginity, hear us. For centuries we have served you faithfully. Please, here our plea! Keep us chaste and keep our son in our household by making him a child again! If you do, we will forever remain virgins in your eyes. Hear us!"

Swoosh.

"Aaaaahhhh!"

"Yes! It worked! He's changing! For a minute there, Marian, I was afraid it would fail."

"I was as well. But now he's back to his adorable baby self! I'm not sure what to call him this time. Any ideas, Frank?"

"How about…Charlie. We've never called him Charlie before, I don't think."

"No, I don't believe we have. Well, let's wait a day or so before we file a missing person's report at the police station for our older son, Alexander. Let's hope that Xander's friends buy the story."

"If they don't, we'll leave. I hope we don't have to, though. I've gotten quite used to this place, Marian, even if it's a Hellmouth."

"Yes, it is a place that grows on you."

Knock, knock.

"Xander? Mr. and Mrs. Harris?"

"Why, hello, Willow. Are you looking for Xander? I'm afraid he hasn't come home yet."

"Hello, Mrs. Harris. Yeah, I was. That's funny. He said he had to go home early. Who's that?"

"Oh, you mean our younger son?"

"Younger? I didn't know Xander had any siblings."

"Well, this baby's only a month old, so before that he didn't. This is Charlie."

"He's so adorable! Xander must be thrilled."

"Oh, yes, he is."

*****

"Buffy, I wish Xander was here."

Punch. Kick. Parry. Kick.

"Me, too, Will, every day. Has it really been six whole years since he disappeared?"

"I find it hard to believe, too."

"Pass me that axe, would you?"

"Sure."

Snatch. Kick. Slice. Woosh!

"There. That's the last of that demon. Thanks, Will."

"No problem. I'd better get going. I promised the Harrises that I'd baby-sit Charlie while they went out on a date. Buffy, does Charlie look a lot like Xander to you?"

"Yeah, I've seen pictures of Xander when he was that age, and they definitely look alike. Well, see you later!"

"Bye!"

*****

"Tag! You're it!"

"Hey! Where do you think you're going, mister!"

"Come on, Willow! I tagged you! Now you have to catch me."

"Well, in that case…you'd better run! Hey! No fair locking the door on me! How am I supposed to tag you when there's a locked door between us, Charlie? Charlie?"

"I unlocked it. You need to see this."

"What is it, Charlie? What's-what is that?"

"It's the rack."

"The what?"

"The rack. It's-oh, my god. Oh, shit!"

"Charlie Harris, where did you learn how to say that word?"

"Willow? Oh my god. I'm six again. I…no!"

"…Charlie? Are you okay?"

"I'm not Charlie."

"Of course you're Charlie. Aren't you?"

"No, Wills. I'm Xander."

"Xander? What…what are you talking about?"

"Will…look at me. In the eyes, please. I'm not really six! Please look."

Gasp!

"Xander…Xander? You're…Charlie."

"Yeah, Willow, I am. I always have been, but I didn’t remember it until just now. My parents have been doing this to me for centuries, Willow. Whenever my mom wants a baby again, they make me into a baby again so they won't have to give up their virginity."

"What? What are you talking about? Wait-your parents are virgins?"

"Yeah. They found me on the side of a road once and took me in. They're really demons, Willow."

"This is all so hard to believe…I mean…is that really you, Xander?"

"Yeah, Willow. It is."

"They're going to pay for this!"

"Wills, they're immortal demons. Nothing can harm them! Can we just get out of here and make it so they can't do it to me again? Please, Willow."

"Okay. Let's get out of here."