"Oh, gods," I said out loud. I couldn't stop staring at Methos. "I am so sorry."

Amanda crossed the room in seconds and pushed me in the shoulder, almost making me topple over. "What the hell is wrong with you? You could have killed him!"

"I don't know," was all I could tell her. I couldn't believe how close I'd come to completing that spell. If Marie hadn't broken my concentration, I could have destroyed every room in this stone labyrinth and everything in it. I was angry at Methos, certainly, but I hadn't lost my mind to the point of self destruction - not until I'd stepped into this arena-like room and heard that word being whispered. Then I'd gone berserk.

"It's the room," Methos said. "It had some sort of effect on all of us."

I took in a deep breath, feeling tired to the bone with every inhale and exhale.

Marc continued, "We'd all seen something from another person's past, and what we saw made us feel afraid or disgusted or angry - all these negative feelings for whoever it was. When we all came together in here, something caused those feelings to increase."

"But now it's stopped," Marc concluded. He gave me a concerned look. "Teach, are you alright?"

I wasn't sure.

"It was a wonderful performance," a new voice said.

A tall figure coalesced out of smoke only meters in front of me. He took on the shape of a demon resembling nothing like Justillianavos or Peradios. I had been right about that, at least.

This big bad was someone new, of a race of demons I'd never come across. He had dark purple skin that was almost black and completely white eyes. He wore only a vest, short pants, and boots. Red hair surrounded a pair of antlers with a pair of horns sprouting in front of them just above his forehead; three smaller horns went down the length of his nose.

As if that wasn't enough, he also had five piercings running in a curve down his right cheek, three rings in his right ear and seven in the other, and two more piercings in his chin.

I felt my anger rising again, this time directed at the demon. "Performance?" I repeated.

The demon must have cast the spell. It was his voice that whispered those words that made us all go berserk. Because of him, I not only could have taken Methos' head without even giving him that chance to explain himself I was planning to give him, but I could have easily killed us all…including the damn demon!

The demon spoke again, with contempt. If I hadn't been so damn drained, I would have charged him and sliced his guts out. He told us, "It's a shame it hadn't lasted any longer than it did, or all of you would be dead already. I underestimated the Immortal immune system."

He had an unusual accent, one that reminded me of something. It clicked after a few seconds - his native tongue had to be Hilliacticanese, the language of the incantation that had been the catalyst in sending the six of us to this other dimension in the first place.

The demon could be a member of any number of races, and not necessarily a Hilliactican Demon. I had no idea what its weaknesses could be, and if I didn't know, none of the others would, either.

"What do you want?" I demanded. I hoped it didn't require too much energy to fight the guy. I'd already spent all of mine, and only Methos and MacLeod were close enough to fight the demon. I didn't trust either of the two Immortals, not completely, not after what had happened.

The demon smirked, "Only for you to die."

It was the usual line, and all of us, whether we'd come into contact with demons before or not, were used to hearing it. To paraphrase Buffy, that line just wasn't even remotely scary any more.

 "And who might you be?" Methos asked him.

"Master Rectanon," the purple demon introduced himself. "Servant to Lord Porat."

Great. He was a lackey.

"So, what?" Marc asked, impatient. "Plan to keep us here until we kill each other?"

"Nah. We only needed you for a few minutes, and you gave us more than enough emotional energy for our needs. I’m going to send you back to your world." He smirked. "I’ll let the six of you work out your problems on your own, and if any of you is still alive afterwards, which I doubt, then I’ll kill you." He turned to Methos. "Your biggest secret’s gotten out, old guy. I’d say you’re in the most danger."

Rectanon jerked his head in my direction. Methos looked from him to me. Surprise didn’t show in his eyes, only acceptance and resignation. If he hadn't beforehand, he would have figured out what exactly I’d seen from his past after I’d almost blasted him with that spell; after all, what else would act as a catalyst in getting me into such a blind rage?

"Well, then, happy hunting. Oh, one more thing."

He waved an arm at me. I stopped breathing heavily and found my strength returning in full. I easily got to my feet.

Rectanon smiled gleefully. "Just to make things a little more interesting," he explained.

I raised my arm and took one step toward Rectanon, but after he said another Hilliacticanese word, I found I couldn't get any closer to him.

Rectanon began chanting in his native Hilliacticanese. "Piilla, hooroos, Pilaa, Loorom. Piilla, hooroos, Pilaa, Loorom."

His white eyes took on a red glow, reminding me of the cat’s eyes I’d traveled through to get here. The effect was the same. Our gazes were glued to his; we couldn’t break the connection no matter how we tried.

His eyes seemed to expand, encompassing me, growing ever bigger and bigger until all I could see was a haze of red. Then everything went black.

*****

Someone was shaking me. "Xander. Xander, wake up!"

I opened my eyes and stared, confused, at a worried Anya. Was this another illusion? Where the hell was I?

I could feel only one Buzz nearby. I blinked and sat up. I suddenly realized that I was lying on the floor of my apartment. All of my Sunnydale friends were there, and all of them were crowded around me, looking worried.

"Are you all right?" Giles asked me.

"Yeah," I answered. Actually, I was feeling better than all right. I could breathe easily, and my hands weren’t shaking one bit. I was back to full strength. Rectanon had given me back my strength, and then he sent the others and myself back to Earth.

I checked myself out. I wore the same clothes I’d worn in that other reality, from my shoes to my jacket. My right hand still firmly grasped my sword.

I glanced past Willow and Oz and over to the couch. Sure enough, Methos lay, unconscious, in a half sprawl on my couch. The beer he’d spilled when he’d been sent to the other dimension now soaked the bottom of his jeans. He, too, still held his Ivanhoe.

I easily got to my feet, much to my friend’s surprise. "You’re back to full strength!" Willow said, amazed. "But…how?"

I stared at Methos. "It’s a long story. How long was I out?"

Anya, who was clinging to my arm, said, "Giles called an emergency meeting to talk about the prophecy he’d discovered about you. That was two hours ago, and when we got here you weren’t here. We looked all over the place before coming back here and found you lying on the floor unconscious."

I glanced at my wall clock. It was five o’clock in the afternoon. We were stuck in that other world for sometime under eight hours. Gods, it felt like a lifetime.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked me.

"I’m fine," I reassured her. "There’s just…a lot of things have happened."

They exchanged looks. "Like what exactly?" Oz questioned.

Life altering things.

My phone rang, making us all jump. I walked over to the table and picked it up. "Hello?" I said into the receiver.

"Alex?"

"Marie! Are you alright?" I asked her. I hoped she was. All of this had been such a shock for her in the other dimension; who knew what she was thinking and feeling now that it was all over.

I glanced over at Methos. Well, it was almost over. He and I still had some issues to resolve. Big issues. I wasn’t going to involve Marie in them, however.

"I-I’m fine," she said, sounding miserable. "Was it true? Did we really…"

She wanted me to deny it, to tell her it was all a dream.

"Yes, we did," I answered.

"Oh, mon Dieu." Marie took a shaky breath. "I…I can’t deal with this. I need some time. Please don’t try to come and talk to me. I’ll let you know when I’m ready."

The line went dead. "Marie?" I spoke into the receiver, hoping she was still there.

I hung up the phone and stared at the wall for a long time. Marie was hysterical, broken maybe, because of something I’d kept her safe from for so many years. If only I’d tried to explain the supernatural world to her, then she might have been prepared for our trip to another universe. If only…I felt my anger rise as I remembered the glee on "Master" Rectanon’s face. He and his master were going to pay.

"Xander, what’s-"

A second Buzz blossoming in my mind drowned out the rest of Buffy’s question. Marc burst through the door. His eyes skimmed over everyone before landing on Methos and me. "Oh, thank the Gods," he said, relieved.

I crossed the room to him. "You all right?" I asked him.

He nodded. "Stephanie won’t speak to me ever again, but other than that, I’m okay. Have you heard from Marie or Amanda?"

"Marie just called," I told him.

His eyes widened. "Is she alright?"

I sighed and shook my head. "She told me she needed some time. She doesn’t want to see me."

"I’m going to see her." His eyes darted from me to the old man. "Will you be-?"

"Yes," I answered him. "I won’t do anything rash. Go, now, before she decides to run off. I don't want anything to happen to her."

He nodded before turning and racing back out of the apartment.

The gang was looking very confused now. "I’ll explain later," I promised before they could say a word. I turned my attention back to Methos. "I just need some time with Adam. Could you guys go? I’ll meet you all at Giles’ tomorrow."

After several protests, my friends finally left. Anya and I kissed, passionately, before she would let me go and follow the others. "That’s a preview of what we’re going to do tomorrow night," she said, smiling happily up at me. "Now that you’re well, we can finally do stuff I like."

I closed the door after them and waited several minutes to make sure they weren’t coming back. Then I focused all of my attention on the eldest Immortal who was still out cold.

For several minutes, all I did was stare. I thought about everything that had happened. I didn’t want to believe what I’d seen was true. Had Methos ever been one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or had it all been an illusion, created to make us feel anger and betrayal so we would be more affected by the spell in the atrium? Or was it really, truly real?

I didn’t want to believe it was real. I didn’t want to believe that my best friend had murdered so many people. More than that, I couldn’t believe that he’d never told me about it. If he really had changed, wouldn’t he have tried to make me see that? Who the hell was this man that I thought I’d known for two thousand years? I'd trusted him. I'd trusted him with everything. I trusted him around my students and many of my wives and adopted children, and I suddenly realized that I might never have even known him.

I walked over to him and poked him in the gut with my sword’s pommel. He jerked awake instantly, eyes going wide when he realized I was standing above him with a sword.

"Is it true?" I demanded. "Were you a Horseman?"

Methos didn’t move; he simply stared up at me with deep regret. He didn’t even try to deny it. "Yes."

"How long?"

"Over nine hundred years."

"When? Was it after you met me, or before?"

"Before."

"So you gave it up?"

"Yes. I wanted nothing to do with it anymore."

"So why lie?" I ground out. My knuckles turned white around my sword’s pommel. "Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?"

He closed his eyes, tightly. "I was afraid you’d think I was a monster. And, as the centuries went by, I just wanted to forget. I didn’t want you to hate me, and I didn’t want to admit that I had kept something like this from you."

"But you’ve changed," I said, sarcasm in my voice.

He opened his eyes and turned a pleading gaze on me. "Yes, I have. Please, Alex. You know I have. I would never go back to that life again."

"What if your brothers came calling? What about then?" Methos was a first, and foremost, a survivor. If living to see another day meant rejoining the Horsemen, he’d do it. I knew he would.

"They’re dead," he answered. "They died two years ago. Kronos had tracked me down and forced me to rejoin them. I helped MacLeod kill them."

"Please, Alex, give me a chance to explain," he begged. "I understand if you don’t trust me – there’s no reason why you should. Just please, let me try to explain."

I stared at him for a long moment, thinking. I was torn. Anger still burned inside me, along with betrayal, confusion, and indecision.

Finally, I lowered my sword. Methos didn’t move an inch. I walked over to my recliner and sat facing him, waiting, with my sword resting on my knees.

Methos sat up, slowly. I watched him twiddle his thumbs for a minute before he began his story.

He took a deep breath. "Three thousand years ago, I was tired with life. I hated everything, and I was fed up with putting up with their fears and hatred. So I decided to give back what they’d given to me. I joined Kronos, Silas, and Caspian, and together, we formed the Four Horsemen."

"We pillaged and destroyed any village we came across and either killed or enslaved the villagers. After nearly a thousand years, I was getting tired of it. I didn’t want a share of the spoils. All I wanted was to be left alone."

"Cassandra, however, was the one to make me realize that I didn’t belong there anymore. She was a Pre-Immortal we found in one of the villages. I killed her and took her as a slave. She fell in love with me, and I cared for her deeply."

"Kronos was too suspicious of my feelings for her. As brothers, we shared everything, and one night he took her. During the night, she stabbed him and ran. I heard all of it, but I didn’t try to stop her. I wanted her to escape, to find a better life than the life of my slave."

"That’s when I truly realized I’d stopped being Death. After that, I decided to leave. It took some time and planning, but eventually, I got away from my brothers."

"Two or three centuries after I’d left the horsemen, I met you. At that time, I was avoiding everyone. The nightmares from my time as Death haunted me every minute, and I didn’t want anyone near me. Then you rescued me from those vampires. You were the first Immortal I’d come across who didn’t want my head, who did nothing but help people. You made me see that there were people who were good, that I didn’t have to shut everyone out. I was afraid to tell you about my past. I was afraid you’d think I was a monster like the things you fought and, if I lost your friendship, I think I would have gone back to being Death again."

His eyes begged mine. "You know I’d never betray you. You can trust me. I’m not like that anymore. I’ve changed. You’ve helped me change."

I listened, stunned.

I thought of the memories he and I shared. There were as many bad times as good times, but I couldn’t think of a single instant where Methos betrayed my trust to him. He’d never told me this, true, but he’d gone long distances to keep him in my good graces.

Still, every time I remembered another instant, I also thought of what I’d seen in the caves and what I’d seen in Samuel's memories.

How could the two of them be one and the same? I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

I rubbed my eyes. I suddenly felt exhausted. "Go," I told him.

He didn’t move, although he did look surprised.

"I need to think about this," I explained. Marie wasn’t the only one who needed time to process things tonight. "Just…go. I’ll call when I’m ready."

Looking more resigned than ever before, Methos stood up. He automatically began to place his sword back into his trench coat’s hidden scabbard, but stopped halfway through the motion.

I watched, unsure of what he was doing, as he pulled his Ivanhoe back out and walked over to the dinner table. I watched, stunned, as he placed his sword on the table and let go of the pummel. Then, without a word, he turned and left.

I stared at the Ivanhoe until I felt Methos’ Buzz fade completely from my mind. Then, I stood up and walked over to the table. I set down my sword next to the Ivanhoe and picked up Methos’ discarded weapon.

He was trusting me to do the right thing. By leaving his primary line of defense with me, he left himself vulnerable. He was telling me that whatever I decided, he wouldn’t try to stop me.

God damnit, Methos! I could hardly think straight. How the hell could he trust me enough to make the right decision, just like that?

After a long moment, I put the sword back down. I stared at it for some time before I walked over to my fridge, opened it, and pulled out a case of beer. I walked back over to my recliner, set the case on the floor, and popped open one of the bottles.

Too much had happened. Marie didn’t trust me anymore. Amanda could have easily have taken Marc’s head back in the atrium. I almost destroyed us all, and my best friend felt like a complete stranger. Now that we were back in our reality, the worst part had yet to come to pass.

I chugged down half the bottle. I thought about how eager I was to get back to full strength yesterday, to be able to stop watching from the sidelines. Now that I was in the thick of things, I didn’t like it one bit.

*****

In the light of shadow, in the dark of day,
The demon brings to light what was hidden away
And the Merged One and his companions of old
Will face evils and perils never before told

In the blackness of sunlight, in the shining eclipse,
The demon’s master will come to exist
The Merged One and his friendless crew
Will face troubles in lies and perilous truth

In the dimness of dawn, in the blinding dusk,
The Earth will crumble with the Merged One dust;
What has always been, will disappear forever more
And the Earth will become what is at its core
Unless the Merged One and his friends of new and old
Can band together and face the heat and cold

In the light of shadow, in the dark of day,
The demon brings to light what was hidden away
And the Merged One and his friends of time
Shall either Triumph or Forfeit at the End of the Endless Rhyme

*****

THE END

Coming up next: "An Immortal Life #7: Bonds"