I never said I photographed well...
So you wan' get to know me, huh? Wow...what a concept. Well, I'll try an' do my best to tell you some stuff, but I can' promise nothin'. I guess we'll start wit' de basics an' go from dere later.
My name is Emil Lapin. I was born in 1976, which makes me 25 (whoa...I can add!) right now. I am a member of de Unified Guilds of New Orleans. B'fore dat, I was in de T'ieves Guild, but we recently joined together wit' de Assassins Guild (somet'ing dat may or may not be de biggest mistake we've ever made in our lives...). My parents are dead, an' I have no brothers or sisters, although de other t'ieves fill dose places nicely. I have red hair an' blue eyes, both of which I inherited from my mother an' which I hate. Well okay, I don' hate my eyes. But de hair. Good lord, I hate my hair. I look almost like Archie Andrews would if he had a goatee an' wasn' such a goody-goody...oy...
I'm one of de Guild's two resident computer geeks; de other one is my cousin Theoren. My specialty is hackin' into systems an' bypassin' security, while his is gettin' information, so we work quite well together as a team.
Let's see, what else can I tell you 'bout myself? I love music, I'm always expandin' my listenin' horizons. Right now on de top of my play list are Lenny Kravitz, Incubus an' Gomez. I'll listen to jus' 'bout anyt'ing, de only t'ings I don' like are metal an' most rap.
I also love television. I'm a big fan of de reality show "Survivor"...we all are, actually, we've never missed an episode yet. I also like watchin' "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" but I have to watch it in my room now b'cause no one else in de house likes it anymore. Dey're all sick of it. I also watch "Friends", "Spin City" an' "The Drew Carey Show", as well as "Beastmaster", an' reruns of "Star Trek: The Next Generation", although b'cause I'm up so late at night all de time dese days, I'm findin' myself watchin' more cartoons. I also never miss Leno or Conan.
Do I read? Uhm...do computer manuals count? Actually, I enjoy de works of Michael Crichton an' Stephen King. Dose two are literary geniuses. Oh, an' de poetry Zoe writes. Dat girl is really talented. I sure couldn' write poems like de ones she writes. I asked her if I could post some of her work here, but she said no. She's shy dat way, doesn' want jus' anyone readin' her poems. I can understand dat, so I don' push it.
I jus' recently went to de animal shelter an' adopted a puppy. His name is Taro an' he's a German Shepherd. He is really cute, wit' huge paws an' one ear dat stands straight up an' one dat flops over. He loves to chew up my t'ings an' get under ev'ryone's feet, an' his antics have made Mercy comment dat he reminds her of me when I was little. I t'ink I'll take dat as a compliment b'cause I do love de little guy.
Jus' for de fun of it, here are a few of my personal favorite t'ings. Hey don' say I didn' warn ya 'bout dis page. I said you'd learn more 'bout me den you really wanted to...
COLOR: Blue
CLOTHES: Pyjama pants an' a T-shirt
CAR: Chevy Blazer
ACTORS: Steven Seagal, Mel Gibson, Sean Connery
ACTRESSES: Don' have any (seriously!)
MOVIES: The Matrix, the Indiana Jones movies, The Patriot, anything with Steven Seagal in it
FOOD: Anything (hey do I *look* picky to you?!) especially chocoate an' pizza
DRINK: Chocolate milk, water an' root beer (not all together...duh...)
ANIMAL: Tiger
If dere's anyt'ing else you wan' know 'bout me, you either really t'ink I'm cool (fat chance) or you're bored. If you really do want to know more, CLICK HERE. I'm not a spectacular person, I'm pretty normal, for a t'ief. Don' b'lieve me? Go read my journal. If dat doesn' prove how normal I am, not'ing will. I may not have a normal life, none of us do, but we try to keep ourselves as grounded as possible. T'ank you Tante Mattie. Dat woman really is a saint...
