TANTE MATTIE: De kindest old lady on de planet, bar none. Well, except for maybe Aunt Jemima. Tante Mattie is de
traiteur of de New Orleans T'ieves Guild. She is a healer an' an empath. De first of dose t'ings means she can take care of
people almost de way a doctor would, except it's spiritual, not medical. De second means no one, an' I mean no one, can
fool her. She knows everyt'ing. No kiddin'. Anyway, she's 122 years old (seriously) an' she's de only real mother figure a lot
of us in de Guild have ever had. Quite de responsibility when you consider who she has to take care of...
REMY LEBEAU: My best friend on de planet, Remy is also my cousin. My uncle, Jean-Luc, adopted Remy when we were
ten years old an' my life has never been de same. Remy is currently de patriarch of de Guild, a job I don' envy him in de
least. I mean come on...anyone who would actually *want* de job needs deir head examined. When we were young, Rem an' I,
along wit' our cousin Etienne, got into all sorts of trouble...stealin' an' crashin' jets, sneakin' into football trainin' camps...you name
it, we prob'ly did it. An' we always got in trouble...
THEOREN MARCEAUX: Like Remy, Theo is my cousin...he is Etienne's older brother. After my father died when I was fifteen,
Theo helped Jean-Luc take on de responsibility of makin' sure I was okay. He's serious as all get-out an' often gets annoyed wit'
me, but since Jean-Luc's gone now too, he's de only father-figure I've got. His paternal side only shows once in a blue moon, but
we all know it's dere. He taught me most of what I know 'bout computers, an' he's prob'ly one of *de* most-respected people in
de Guild.
MERCY LEBEAU: Mercy is Remy's sister-in-law, de widow of his older brother (my cousin) Henri. She's beautiful, charmin', protective
an' can be a Class-A bitch if de situation requires (which it very rarely does, surprisingly). She was de first woman in de history of de Guild
to b'come an' actual member an' she certainly d'serves it. When Tante Mattie ain' 'round, Mercy likes to play Momma wit' Remy, Zoe an'
myself, b'cause she is, like most of de people 'round here, a lot older'n we are.
CLAUDE POTIER: Claude's de tough guy of de T'ieves Guild. He's big an' burly an' if you piss him off...look out. He doesn' often say a whole
lot either; he's found over de years dat his presence speaks louder dan anyt'ing dat could come outta his mouth. He does have a very good
sense of humor t'ough, an' one time when Remy, Etienne an' I were kids, he talked Genard into keepin' quiet 'bout de fact dat we toilet papered
Bella Donna's father's house on Halloween...
GENARD ALOUETTE: Genard is de closest in age of de Nawlins t'ieves to Remy an' I, an' he's also de quietest member of de whole group of
us. Most of de time, he doesn' talk unless he has somet'ing useful or worthwhile to say, which is good, I s'pose. He's pretty much de opposite of me,
as Theo has told me numerous times in my life. Ev'ry once in awhile t'ough, Genard will jus' break loose an' do somet'ing outrageous an'
unexpected, which ends up bein' really cool b'cause no one t'inks it's comin' an' it surprises dem all.
ZOE ISHIHARA: Zoe is de only member of our Guild who isn' from Nawlins. In case you can' tell from her name (although how you wouldn'
be able to tell is b'yond me), she's from Japan, an' came here from de Tokyo T'ieves Guild 'bout a year 'go after she got excommunicated from
her Guild for disagreein' wit' de way dey were treatin' her kid brother, who is a mutant. Jean-Luc helped her, an' de rest is history, she's been wit'
us ever since. Damned good fighter too, better dan us t'ieves here. She's way too serious t'ough, an' doesn' see de point to havin' a little fun from
time to time. Kinda like Theo...
BELLA DONNA BOUDREAUX: Where do I start? Bel is de same age as Remy an' I, an' she's also Remy's ex-wife. Or are dey still married? Oh, I don'
know, I lost track years ago, but I'm sure dey could tell me. Bel is de former matriarch of de Assassins Guild an' is currently Viceroy of de Unified Guild,
which makes her Remy's second-in-command. She's a total complete bitch 24/7 although somehow Remy sees a half-decent side of her dat eludes de
rest of us. Oh well. I learned a long time ago not to question Remy, an' I don' cross Bel, so everyt'ing stays somewhat peaceful.
GRIS-GRIS: He hates me. He really, really hates me. Why? B'cause apparently I annoy him. He t'inks I'm an obnoxious brat who talks too
much. Which, technically, I am. But anyways, Gris is de Guild's resident voodoo master. He's a huge (six-foot-five), mean (ruthless, really)
badass who has it in for little ol' me...Dis is not a good t'ing, mes amis. De man has de power to kick me off de planet. An' no matter how
hard I try to not piss him off...he still gets pissed. Which is jus' part of who he is, I guess.
FIFOLET: Mr. Intangibility of de Guild. I'm not kiddin', Feef can make himself an' his clothin' intangible. Which is somewhat annoyin' b'cause
no one can touch him when he's intangible, derefore, he can pretty much do what he pleases wit'out facin' de consequences...Remy don' like
dat much. In spite of bein' an assassin, Feef's an okay guy, he doesn' do anyt'ing 'gainst us t'ieves unless we ask for it, an' he's almost always
civil to us which is nice, considerin' Gris isn'...
QUESTA: Okay, who was de brainiac who d'cided it would be an okay t'ing to give a deranged psychopath a gun?!? I don' care if he's an
assassin...dat was *not* a smart move! Add dat to de fact dat he has de power to see images in other people's minds an' alter dose images
(which really freaks a person out, trust me. been dere, done dat) an' you'll see why havin' him 'round jus' is not a day at de beach!
SINGER: Dis is one woman I jus' can' figure out. Not dat I've ever claimed to be able to understand any woman, but dat's not de point. Singer
is de most mysterious person in de Guild, an' I t'ink it's b'cause of de glasses she wears. It's very hard to tell what she's t'inkin' b'cause no one can
see her eyes. She's a communications channeler, although I have yet to personally see dat power at work, an' she can fly, which I t'ink is amazin'.
She's Bella Donna's best friend, an' sometimes I get dis feelin' she only really tolerates Gris, Feef an' Questa b'cause Bel says to. But maybe I'm
wrong, I don' know. I never claimed to be an expert on dem.
