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Back to School

...or Let's Point and Laugh at Lord Darkar!

The second season starts at Alfea, with Bloom narrating the goings-on in her life, and at school. Has Winx Club ever broken the fourth wall before? I don't recall it having done so before. Bloom tells us that she bets the new school year will be awesome. She talks to Tecna, who says there's a 100% chance of fun this new school year. A small distance away, Musa is playing a saxophone. Bloom says she spend the summer on the Wizardpalooza tour. Musa says the song she's currently playing is from the Improv Realm.

Inside a greenhouse at Alfea, Flora is taking care of some plants. Bloom continues narrating, telling us that she'd taken up aromagictherapy. Flora says the flowers she's working on change a person's mood: Bloom says she's already feeling good. Bloom says that Stella's all stressed out about the back-to-school party that night, so she should try the flowers. Flora says a gladioli happyalis will help Stella be happy.

Bloom then enters Stella's room. Bloom says she's been spending the whole summer interning at Teen Fairy magazine, but Stella screams that she hates fashion. Stella says she has fashion block, a sudden inability to be stylish, that she learned so many fashion rules at Teen Fairy that she's now overwhelmed.

Bloom: Hold on; I thought you were all about fashion rules. You're the one who's like, "When you wear a short skirt, you should really mess up your hair"!

That was great, Bloom's impression of Stella! She's even got Stella's wild hand gestures down pat! Stella yells at Bloom, insisting this is different. Bloom tries to help her decide what to wear, but she is not about to hear Bloom out, and just goes into a crying fit.

Bloom walks down a hallway, still narrating, telling us how wonderful everything is, being back with her friends, as she finds a flying pixie seahorse. Bloom calls it a fortune fly, and says that if she catches it, it'll tell her her fortune. It it, her her... I wish there were some less awkward way of saying that. She catches it for a moment, but it slips out of her hands and flies off. Bloom is off in a hallway with mirrors that reflect magical reality, and notes a door in one of the mirrors that doesn't seem to exist in reality. Bloom enters the magical door, and finds Concorda, not named, inside, the pixie elder of Alfer: the psychic pixie. Concorda feels a lot of bright energy around her, and decides to tell Bloom's fortune. She says she sees five lights around Bloom, representing her five friends. Bloom says she's only got four. Concorda says she'll make a new friend, a princess with long, flowing hair, with a baby pixie. She also says that Bloom and Sky will officially become a couple. She then goes on to say that she sees Bloom soon-to-be friend climbing a cliff, and she's in grave danger. Cut to Layla, climbing a floating cliff in some dark, underground location.

COMMERCIAL BREAK #1

Layla continues climbing, reaching the dark castle on top, out of breath. Inside, we see eight pixies: Digit, Zing, Tune, Piff, Glim, Chatta, Amore, and Lockette. Zing says they might not have enough magic to beat the phoenix keeping them hostage. Chatta rambles on about using psychology to escape, to understand why they're evil, to try working with that instead of fighting. Amore says he might just be evil because he's lonely, and needs to fall in love. Yeah. I'm sure that's it. "I'm not evil, I'm just misunderstood." I'm doubting that. Chatta, for some reason, agrees, and then starts a loud cheer for Amore. Nevermind it wasn't a very good theory. On the other hand, I love Amore's "gloaty" smile during the cheer.

Tune: No more yelling, you are breaking all the prisoner etiquette rules.

I love Tune. One, for complaining about Chatta's annoying cheer. And two, for thinking that good manners should be enforced no matter how silly it is for her current situation: only Tune would feel their kidnapper deserves any respect! The pixies all fret, as they hear someone coming their way. Most of them seem frightened, except babies Piff and Glim, and Digit, who seems more ready to attack than scared. True, she's probably scared on the inside, but she's covering up her fear, anyway. But the pixies are all very relieved to see that it's just Layla, who they all recognize as a nice person. Piff is asleep, but Tune wakes her up, and she's really happy to see Layla. Piff is happy to see Layla and asks, in her baby way, for ice cream. Layla concludes it must mean that she just had a good dream. Layla isn't sure how to get the pixies out, as her powers are very drained. Lockette says if she blasts the gargoyle on the wall that she thinks is transferring power to the cell, that the magical barrier will break down, and she could escape with the pixies. Sure enough, it works! Layla feels she won't be able to carry the pixies back down the cliff, and the pixies don't have enough magic to fly, so they'll have to find another way down. Amore fears she hears a bile monster. Layla says it's OK, as long as it's not "that phoenix loser."

From a distance away, Lord Darkar, the phoenix Layla is referring to, goes into a long-winded rant about how he isn't a loser, and how a loser is someone who's smashed and defeated, and blah blah blah blah.... Seriously... what is Darkar doing?! For one, his monologue seems kinda' whiny, like you'd expect from some teenage brat, or something, not from an adult. And two... he isn't talking to anyone! He seems to be whining to Layla, going on and on and on about how Layla's a loser... but she isn't there! Don't villains usually give these sorts of speeches to taunt their enemy? How can Layla be taunted if Layla isn't there!

Back with Layla and the pixies, Lockette and Chatta go on about random stuff, as Layla tells them to quiet down. A couple of bile monsters attack, and Layla does some fancy acrobatics to escape. Layla makes her way outside, as the phoenix arrives right outside the door, changing into the form of a man.

Darkar: Look, it's a bird. No, it's a man. No! It's Lord Darkar.

O... K.... In the history of "Winx Club," that had to be the absolute single lamest line ever uttered... even Musa can't compete with that! Darkar gets better in later episodes, but for here... just ugh!

COMMERCIAL BREAK #2

Back at Alfea, Stella, Tecna, Flora, and Musa are waiting in the quad. The four are in different casual outfits from usual. Stella is impatient waiting for Bloom to arrive.

Stella: I have a theory that beauty enhances beauty. If I'm surrounded by the four of you, I'll like four times as beautiful.

Bloom hops in, trying to put on her shoe, in a new casual outfit. Bloom apologizes for being late. Stella mentions if it's because she was upset about the tabloid about Sky seeing Diaspro over the summer, but Bloom says it's nothing to do with that, that Sky would never cheat on her. Stella says Bloom doesn't sound so sure, but Bloom insists that he wouldn't cheat on her. Of course, Bloom knows Stella is right: after all, if he was cheating on Diaspro before, what's to stop him from cheating on her, too? The three Specialists, minus Timmy, drive their hoverbikes over to the girls, as "Hero" plays. Timmy comes in on their new-and-improved flying ship. Sky tells Bloom that his summer would've been better if he could've seen her, and how she's more beautiful than she remembered. Brandon and Stella call each other honeybunny and cupcake, respectively. I'm glad the nickname thing was phased out rather quickly.

Later, around sunset, the five Winx girls and four Specialists are sitting around the quad. Bloom tells sky about the article that said that Sky was canoodling with Diaspro over the summer. Sky says that they were just coincidentally vacationing on the same island, but they weren't even near each other. Bloom says it doesn't matter, anyway, that since they're just friends, he can do whatever he wants. Bloom is a very bad liar. Sky says he had hoped they were more than "just" friends, and Bloom blushes slightly. Stella tells Riven that he should change his style, like Timmy did, with his new sweatshirt. As she's about to start with Musa, Musa says that she's keeping the pigtails, and how they were a hit at Wizardpalooza. That's right, Musa! Keep those cute pigtails! They make ya' look cute!

Back inside Shadowhaunt, Lord Darkar's lair, he insists that Layla give him the pixies. Layla says non way. Lame line #3:

Darkar: No matter, now you'll have to talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't want to hear it!

Yes. He really did say that. Yes, it is as bad as you think it is, if not worse. Darkar blasts Layla, knocking her down, and all the pixies out of her hands. They go flying everywhere, except Piff, who's safely tucked in Layla's backpack. Darkar takes the pixies, minus Piff, and has a shadow arm throw Layla down a cliff. Back inside his castle, Darkar threatens the pixies to tell him the location of the pixie village.

Digit: You don't scare us. Fear's illogical!

In truth, Digit is obviously terrified. I love her little front, though, and her trying to push her fear back with logic. Chatta tries to get Darkar to take her instead of anyone else. Her heart's in the right place, anyway... seems she feels protective over the other pixies. Kinda' makes sense, since she seems like she's probably one of the older pixies, aside from Tune and possibly Digit. He continues threatening all the pixies, and robs Digit, Chatta, and Lockette of their magic, leaving them faint.

COMMERCIAL BREAK #3

Outside Alfea, Miss Faragonda is up on the stage outside Alfea, talking about how the school had to be remodeled after last year's witch invasion, and that the new, rebuilt wing is in dedication to one fairy who was the key to their victory against the witches: Bloom, of course. Bloom asks her girlfriends to come up on the stage with her. Miss Faragonda has the doves surrounding the new wing fly away, revealing the new wing. Faragonda calls it the Dragonfire Wing, in dedication to Bloom. Everyone cheers. I weep. An entire wing dedicated... Bloom... I'm in pain.

Later, at sunset, the Winx girls are near the Alfea gates as the boys fly off. Flora, looking pissed off for no apparent reason, senses a disturbance coming from the woods. Bloom looks out the gates, spotting Layla, walking drunkedly toward Alfea, before collapsing. Tecna, with a truly bizarre, yet somehow cool facial expression, gets out her PB bug to magiscan the girl. Tecna declares her to be the princess of the Realm of Tides. Bloom tries to get Layla to wake up as a baby pixie--Piff--pops out from Layla's backpack. Bloom realizes that Concorda's prediction has been right so far, and warns her friends of adventure and danger like they've never seen before.

Other Stuff

Well... yeah. Aside from a few cute little moments, like Bloom's impression of Stella, there really wasn't much going for the show. Some somewhat interesting stuff at Alfea, and we meet the pixies for the first time, but um... really, not much.

We got our first good look at Lord Darkar, though. He'll get better later, but man oh man did he suck here! I mean, he was tough enough, I guess, but his... man! "Talk to the hand" had to be the single lamest thing ever on the show! I mean, it would've been bad enough if Stella said that, but Darkar of all people?!

And the Dragonfire Wing. I mean, I know she was the biggest key in the witches' defeat last year, but come on!

And finally, Charmy. She was not in the episode. In "Rescuing the Pixies," we see she is dead. From Lockette's shock in that episode, it would appear that she was alive moments before. Charmy is not in this episode anywhere. Layla does not try rescuring Charmy, and the other pixies show no concern for Charmy. So where the heck is Charmy, and why does no one seem to care for the poor little naked pixie's life?!

3 out of 10 on the old scale.

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