Movie Reviews
Thanks Internet Movie Database (www.imdb.com)!
-My Rating System-
At the suggestion of a friend, I've decided to add a rating system so you can just bypass my rambling & tell how good\bad a movie is. But alas there will be no traditional numbers, letters, star, or thumbs in this system. I've decided on... (cue dramatic music) PENGUINS! Yes, you read that correctly mate, penguins. 1 penguin being the worst & the 5th penguin being the best. And my personal favorites also get an addition penguin that just indicates that it's my favorite - Lei the Penguin.
| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 0 |
A
~A Man Apart
~American Pie
~American Wedding
A MAN APART (2003)
Vin Diesel - Sean Vetter
Larenz Tate - Demetrius Hicks
Timothy Olyphant - Jack Slayton
Jacqueline Obradors - Stacey Vetter
Geno Silva - Memo Lucero
Steve Eastin - Ty Frost
Juan Fernandez - Mateo Santos
George Sharperson - Big Sexy
Mike Moroff - Gustavo Leon
Emilio Rivera - Garza
-RATING: 2 PENGUINS- I was never a HUGE fan of Vin Diesel, but after seeing Triple X awhile back & after seeing the Fast & Furious I've really begun to enjoy his acting. A Man Apart is a great movie, full of action, shooting, and Vin Diesel kicking everyone's ass. Basically, Diesel is a cop who is involved in cracking a drug ring with his rag-tag team of people. Something goes wrong and they shoot into his bedroom, killing his wife. So on and so forth he kicks everyone & gets his revenge in a way. It's a pretty good movie, but if you don't like fighting, violence, and gore, stay away! Top
AMERICAN PIE (1999)
Jason Biggs - Jim Levinstein
Chris Klein - Chris 'Oz' Ostreicher
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers
Shannon Elizabeth - Nadia
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
Tara Reid - Vicky Lathum
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Jennifer Coolidge - Stifler's Mom
-RATING: 1 & A HALF PENGUINS- During Mardi Gras while marching down the street, all I would hear is "One time, at band camp..." Of course, me being a flute player, I got really sick of hearing it. Buuuut I finally saw this movie after hearing *so* much about it. I didn't need to see the movie to know that the flute player would be portayed as a geek, and is actually defined as a "flute-toting band dork." Figures, eh? Look, I sound Canadian, oh boy. This was a pretty funny movie despite the jokes about band members. It was funny, though, I'll admit it! Top
AMERICAN WEDDING (2003)
Jason Biggs - Jim Levinstein
Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler
Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch
Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers
January Jones - Cadence Flaherty
Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
Molly Cheek - Jim's Mom
Deborah Rush - Mary Flaherty
Fred Willard - Harold Flaherty
Eric Allan Kramer - Bear
-RATING: 3 INNUENDO-CRAVING PENGUINS- I have to admit, although I did not see "American Pie 2" I did enjoy this movie. I don't really know what to say except a few unexpected happenings.. All of which can be blamed on "Steven" aka Stifler. And of course, not to ruin the ending (All 2 of you who read this would\should expect this to happen) - Stifler's Mom! I thought one of the funniest lines in the movie (I didn't catch it until afterwards, however), was between Stifler & Finch. Finch called Stifler a "grandmother fucker" and Stifler called Finch a "mother fucker." Finch just said "Yes, I am." I thought it was funny, the play on words. Because Finch & Stifler's mom... hehe. Yeah.. Aaaaanyway... Good movie, definitely funny! 7\31\03 Top
B
~Bad Boys 2
~Bourne Identity, The
~Braveheart
~Breakfast at Tiffany's
~Bruce Almighty
BAD BOYS 2 (2003)
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey
Gabrielle Union - Syndey Burnett
Joe Pantoliano - Captain Howard
Theresa Randle - Theresa Burnett
Tom Hillman - Dad
-RATING: 1 & A HALF PENGUINS- This movie was all right, but I don't think I would sit through it again. There was just way too much blowing shit up & gunfire for me. I'm the type that does like action but it has to be done tastefully. I don't know it was just constantly something being blown up or someone getting shot at. Excluding the fact that I fell asleep several times because I was exhausted from my day's activities, I just could not pay attention to this movie. Not to mention the plot is pretty lame, in my opinion. A couple of failed drug busts, some broken radios, a bad-ass cop & an almost wimpy cop... It's just a bad movie, I don't know. I didn't really like it that much, personally, but other people have liked it. I never did see the original, though, so maybe that matters? 7\16\03 Top
THE BOURNE IDENTITY (2002)
Matt Damon - Jason Bourne
Franka Potente - Marie Kreutz
Chris Cooper - Conklin
Clive Owen - The Professor
Brian Cox - Ward Abbott
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Wombosi
Gabriel Mann - Zorn
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- If you've read the book of the same name by Robert Ludlum (movie based on the book, BASED on the book, very very loosely), you probably won't like this movie. Don't expect the movie to be the same as the book because it's not. It's a good movie on its own rights but in comparison to the book, it's horrible. The whole point of the book is to find & kill Carlos (an assassin) but Carlos isn't even mentioned in the movie!! The movie's point is basically to just get Bourne out, not find & kill Carlos. I really liked the book and the movie was a terrible representation. If you hadn't read the book and watched the movie you might be confused because they don't explain anything very well at all. I did like the movie for what it was, a good action movie, but it was terrible in comparison to the book. Top
BRAVEHEART (1995)
Mel Gibson - William Wallace
James Robinson - Young William
Sean Lawlor - Malcolm Wallace
Sandy Nelson - John Wallace
James Cosmo - Campbell
Patrick McGoohan - Longshanks
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I'm not usually one for gory battle movies but this one was really good. I'm sure I'm the last person in the world to see it but it was still good. I really thought Mel Gibson did a wonderful Scottish accent. I was really upset when his wife (I don't know what her name was) was killed because I really thought what they had was so sweet. I was kinda mad... But it was still a good movie, I don't know what else to say.. It helps if you know history and know what's going on & stuff. I know like absolutely know history and I was really confused, had to have it explained to me. Top
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S (1961)
Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly
George Peppard - Paul Varjak
Buddy Ebsen - Doc Golightly
-RATING: 2 & A HALF PENGUINS- This was a delightful movie! Audrey Hepburn plays Holly Golightly wonderfully! Holly's character is so eccentric and yet so interesting. She has wild parties & gets her landlord upset. She gets arrested for being in a narcotics ring. She didn't even name her cat! She just calls it cat. It's great. Although she's really oblivious to Paul's feelings for her, she does come to her senses! yay!! This is a great film!Top
BRUCE ALMIGHTY (2003)
Jim Carrey - Bruce Nolan
Morgan Freeman - God
Jennifer Aniston - Grace Connelly
Philip Baker Hall - Jack Keller
Catherine Bell - Susan Ortega
Lisa Ann Walter - Debbie
Steven Carell - Evan Baxter
-RATING: 1 & A HALF PENGUINS- Okay, the previews for this movie are really good, right? And I personally just love Jim Carrey & Morgan Freeman, right? Jennifer Aniston isn't my favorite, but she's tolerable. The movie was funny, yeah, but while I was watching it I kept thinking "Is this a comedy? Or is this supposed to be serious? I can't seem to decide..." It was okay...I guess... but definitely not one of the best movies I've ever watched. I wasn't too terribly impressed and in fact I was VERY disappointed at the movie. The previews show the funniest parts of the movie! I hate when that happens... Top
C
~Canadian Bacon
~Casablanca
~Charlie's Angels Full Throttle
~Chicago
~Confidence
~Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
CANADIAN BACON (1995)
John Candy -Niagra County Sheriff Bud B. Boomer
Alan Alda - US President
Rhea Perlman - Deputy Honey
Kevin Pollak - Stuart Smiley
Rip Torn - General Dick Panzer
Kevin J. O'Connor - Roy Boy
GD Spradlin - RJ Hacker
-RATING: 1 AND A HALF PENGUINS- I guess I didn't find this movie as funny as Matt did, but it's all right. I think this movie is one of those that gets funnier the more you watch it. Like, say, Monty Python & The Holy Grail - EVERYTIME I see that movie it's funnier! And I've seen that movie A LOT. hehe. I've known John Candy to be funnier. And I like Rhea Perlman, how could you not? I mean man she was on Cheers! Everyone loves that show. And I really like Alan Alda aka Mash 4077's Hawkeye. It did have it's funny moments though. Like, when they stole the truck from the Royal Mounted Police and wrote all over it and the cop pulled them over and made them write everything in French also (the nation's two official languages) since every sign has to be in French & English. That was kind of funny. And the whole part about getting $25 if they talk someone out of jumping off Niagara Falls but $50 if they retrieve the body. Yeah it was a funny movie. 6\23\03 Top
CASABLANCA (1942)
Humphrey Bogart - Richard "Rick" Blaine
Ingrid Bergman - Ilsa Lund Laszlo
Paul Heinreid - Victor Laszlo
Claude Rains - Capt. Louis Renault
Dooley Wilson - Sam
-RATING: 4 AND A HALF PENGUINS- This really goes beyond movie status & advances into the film area. Humphrey Bogart (despite his likeness to a chimney with all the smoke he produces from his cigarettes & such) is e-x-t-r-a-o-r-d-i-n-a-r-y in this movie. I do love his voice; it's so unique! And Ingrid Bergman is also wonderful as Ilsa. Bogart says the famous line "Here's looking at you, kid" 4 times. But what he never says is "Play it again, Sam." Trivia, trivia. There are reasons that some movies are just classics, and that status is nondebatable in this movie!Top
CHARLIE'S ANGELS FULL THROTTLE (2003)
Cameron Diaz - Natalie Cook
Drew Barrymore - Dylan Sanders
Lucy Liu - Alex Munday
Demi Moore - Madison Lee
Bernie Mac - Jimmy Bosley
Justin Theroux - Seamus O'Grady
Robert Patrick - Ray Carter
Matt LeBlanc - Jason Gibbons
Shia LaBeouf - Max
John Cleese - Mr. Munday
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I've got to admit that this was a pretty entertaining movie. It was definitely the funniest new release I've seen all summer. Diaz, Barrymore, & Liu are really funny, and I really like John Cleese! I enjoyed this movie, even though some people said it was horrible. I thought it was pretty funny. They wore some ridiculous outfits & Drew Barrymore gets to play the wild rocker, lol. But it wasn't bad.. It definitely was funnier than Bruce Almighty three times over! It was a good summer movie and enjoyable too. 6\25\03 Top
CHICAGO (2002)
Catherine Zeta-Jones - Velma Kelly
Renee Zellweger - Roxie Hart
Richard Gere - Billy Flynn
Queen Latifah - Moma Morton
John C. Reilly - Amos Hart
Christina Baranski - Mary Sunshine-RATING: 3 AND A HALF PENGUINS- A big fan of musicals, this one absolutely caught my eye, and ear for that matter. I work at a movie theatre and I have to say cleaning the theatre listening to "All That Jazz" is totally awesome! Although a few parts and songs are missing from the motion picture, overall the producers did a very good job with it, although they might have picked a better person to play Roxie Hart. I don't think Renee Zellweger did a very good job on her part, but Catherine Zeta-Jones was extraordinary, as was Queen Latifah as "Moma." Richard Gere was a little ridiculous as Billy Flynn, but he did the part well, although I'd never seen him sing on screen before. Overall a very good movie, no wonder it won best picture of 2002! Top
CONFIDENCE (2003)
Edward Burns - Jake Vig
Rachel Weisz - Lily
Andy Garcia - Agent Gunther Butan
Dustin Hoffman - The King
Paul Giamatti - Gordo
Brian Van Holt - Miles
Franky G. - Lupus
-RATING: 2 & A THIRD PENGUINS- At first I was a little confused while I was watching, but then everything kind of started to click. This movie is all about this group of guys conning people. At first they con this one guy, that's the opening scene. But only you don't really KNOW they're doing it until just after. I was kind of confused about the motive for "The King" killing Big Al, but I think it might've been that the con they do in the beginning, they picked the wrong person and cheated "The King" outta some money. I think. I'm not too sure. Anyway, these guys are really superstitious about redheads & birds. Birds in the house mean death & redheads are really bad luck. Jake (Edward Burns) says to Lily (Rachel Weisz) "You just put a mother of a jinx on us." The ending was good, guy gets the girl etc. It was good. Top
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON (2000)
Yun Fat Chow - Master Li Mu Bai
Michelle Yeoh - Yu Shu Lien
Ziyi Zhang - Xiou Long
Chen Chang - Xiou Hu "Dark Cloud"
Sihung Lung - Be-La-Ye
Pei-pei Cheng
Be-Ah-Hui "Jade Fox"
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- This was a pretty good movie, even though I couldn't tell you the character names if my life depended on it. And I did think that the flying & jumping around in the bamboo stalks was a little ridiculous, but I can't criticise it because there are some pretty ridiculous stunts in American movies. It's #57 on www.imdb.com's list of the top 250 movies of all time. So I guess the rating can speak for itself. But the main character... She was only 16 when the movie was filmed, which is totally amazing to me. She looks older, she really does. Top
D
~Drop Dead Fred
~Drumline
~Dumb and Dumberer
DROP DEAD FRED (1991)
Phoebe Cates - Elizabeth
Rik Mayall - Drop Dead Fred
-RATING: 3 & A HALF PENGUINS; PLUS **LEI THE PENGUIN**-I used to watch this movie a lot as a kid, I must have watched it a million times before I hit junior high. I saw this movie again the other day for the first time in years and it's still as great as ever. Not many people have seen this movie but it's still hilarious. Rik Mayall is wonderful as the psychotic "invisible" friend of Elizabeth's (played by Phoebe Cates) childhood. Basically they had fun when she was little, wreaking havoc on the house & making mud pies in the dining room, but he shows up in her adulthood and causes mayhem. It's so good! Top
DRUMLINE (2002)
Nick Cannon - Devon Miles
Zoe Saldana - Laila
Orlando Jones - Dr. James Lee
Leonard Roberts - Sean Taylor
-RATING: 3 & A HALF PENGUINS PLUS **LEI THE PENGUIN**- I really think and no one take this the wrong way, that to like this movie you either have to be a) in a show band or b) black. That might sound racist but everyone one of my black friends loves that movie and all my friends that aren't in band don't like it, they don't understand it. I love this movie, it's one of my absolute favorites, but not everyone likes it (mainly because they don't understand it). A lot of the movie is about the band and how things work and it's so true of many show bands that it's shocking. I was watching the movie and going "wow we play that song, we do that dance, we need to do that, man that's so true of our band too!" It's a great movie. The plot isn't wonderful but it's a great band movie. Every band member, ESPECIALLY drummers should see this movie! Top
DUMB AND DUMBERER (2003)
Eric Christian Olsen - Lloyd Christmas
Derek Richardson - Harry Dunne
-RATING: ONE-FOURTH OF A PENGUIN- I cannot believe I sat through this movie. Although it was amusing, and ONLY amusing, it was seriously a waste of time, money, and film. The funniest part in the e-n-t-i-r-e movie was when Bob Sagat was yelling "He shit all over the walls! Oh my god there's shit everywhere!..." That was the ONLY time I laughed. The title says it all -- this really is a DUMB movie. Even though it was amusing it was really stupid. No one in humanity is that stupid. People are stupid but not THAT stupid. 6\12\03 Top
F
~Finding Nemo
FINDING NEMO (2003)
Albert Brooks - voice of Marlin
Ellen DeGeneres - voice of Dory
Alexander Gould - voice of Nemo
Willem Dafoe - voice of Gill
Brad Garrett - voice of Bloat
Allison Janney - voice of Peach
Austin Pendleton - voice of Gurgle
Stephen Root - voice of Bubbles
Vicki Lewis - voice of Deb\Flo
Joe Ranft - voice of Jacques
Geoffrey Rush - voice of Nigel
-RATING: 2 & A HALF PENGUINS- This is a really adorable movie and it's no wonder that this movie was the top of the summer 2003 movie season. Although, there wasn't much stiff competition for movie-goers; the better movies were released in May or weren't incredibly publicised (hint, hint, The Italian Job!). This a really cute movie for everyone & Dory is hilarious. "P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. I remembered it! P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Look! I remembered it again!!..." --Dory. She's so funny. And then she tries to speak whale! She's so dingy & it's just so funny. Everyone should see this movie it's so cute & fun! 6\30\03 Top
G
~Gone with the Wind
~Great Escape, The
~Gremlins
GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
Vivien Leigh - Scarlett O'Hara
Clark Gable - Rhett Butler
Leslie Howard - Ashley Wilkes
Olivia de Havilland - Melanie Wilkes
Hattie McDaniel - Mammy
-RATING: 4 FAT PENGUINS- I f-i-n-a-l-l-y got to watch this classic film. FINALLY! The quality of the movies was so much greater back then, it really was. None of movies in recent years will be classics. At least none that I've seen. Scarlett was a Southern girl during the Civil War, and Rhett was the dashing rich man that wants Scarlett. Scarlett's undying love for Ashley prohibits her from seeing her love for Rhett... Melanie is the embodiment of everything good and sweet and wonderful in the human race. When Scarlett wrongs her, Melanie still accepts O'Hara into her house gracefully. She is so giving and caring, never thinking of herself. Even when she's on her deathbed she wants Scarlett to care for Ashley and their son. Even though the movie is epic, it's worth the 233 minutes of watching it. It's just a greater quality of movie-making. And the story is so compelling, so real, so poignant! I really like this movie, it's a real film. 6\23\03 Top
THE GREAT ESCAPE (1963)
Steve McQueen - Capt. Virgil 'The Cooler King' Hilts
James Garner - Flight Lt. Bob Anthony 'The Scrounger' Hendley
Richard Attenborough - Squadron Leader Roger 'Big X' Bartlett
James Donald (I) - Group Capt. Rupert 'The SBO' Ramsey
Charles Bronson - Flight. Lt. Danny 'The Tunnel King' Willinski
Donald Pleasence - Flight Lt. Colin 'The Forger' Blythe
James Coburn - Flying Officer Louis 'The Manufacturer' Sedgwick
Hannes Messemer - Col. von Luger (prison commandant)
David McCallum (I) - Lt. Cmdr. Eric 'Dispersal' Ashley-Pitt
-RATING: 4 PENGUINS & **LEI THE PENGUIN**- I watched this movie on the general recommendation that it's really good and hey imagine that it really is! I recommend that everyone watch this it's such a great film. I really liked Steve McQueen as Hilts he really brought humor to the film it was great. (Oh, yeah, by the way the film is about all these guys in a prison camp trying to escape.) It was so cool I can't describe it to you but it was good. Top
GREMLINS (1984)
Zach Galligan - Billy
Phoebe Cates - Kate Beringer
Hoyt Axton - Randall Peltzer
Frances Lee McCain - Lynn Peltzer
Polly Holiday - Ruby Deagle
Glynn Turman - Roy Hanson
-RATING: 3 & A HALF PENGUINS- There's nothing else to say about this movie except what follows: GIZMO IS A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!!! Oh, and Phoebe Cates is so cool because she was in Drop Dead Fred also! Yes! I love Gizmo!! 7\5\03 Top
H
~Hollywood Homicide
~Hulk, The
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (2003)
Harrison Ford - Joe Gavilan
Josh Hartnett - K.C. Calden
-RATING: 1 & FIVE-SIXTHS OF A PENGUIN- I went into the theatre expecting this movie to be good, but it really wasn't that good. The whole young-cop-old-cop-thing has been doing a million times. It was a goofy movie, in all actuality. The plot didn't have enough to it that they could stay focused on it the entire movie. Several times they drifted off to Hartnett's yoga class, or his acting desires. And the whole homicide case was "co-mingled" with Ford's real estate broker job as well as his police job. And then of course to add to the already goofy plot, Ford's girlfriend is a psychic who sometimes sees things, sometimes flips a coin, and sometimes "makes shit up." And the young cop has emotional connection to the crime because his father was killed by the cop who is doing security for the club where the quadruple homicide happened. And then bring in Gladys Knight, a guy cop dressed up as a prostitute, a Saleen that gets trashed when Ford drives it, a black Escalade that reminds me of 2 Fast 2 Furious, and "...a monstrosity on Mount Olympus at the corner of Hercules and I shit you not Achilles." All of that makes up Hollywood Homicide... A movie where Harrison Ford is humorous & loose and Josh Hartnett does yoga and doesn't like dead bodies and wants to act. 6\12\03 Top
HULK, THE (2003)
Eric Bana - Bruce Banner
Jennifer Connelly - Betsy Ross
Sam Elliot - Ross
Josh Lucas - Talbot
Nick Nolte - Father
Paul Kersey - Young Bruce Banner
Cara Buono - Edith Banner
-RATING: ONE VERY SHORT PENGUIN- I just really didn't like this movie. I guess it was okay, but it really bugged me that Bana didn't do the facial\body movement stuff for the actual Hulk. It was actually the director, Ang Lee, who did the movement stuff - NOT Bana... And it was pretty obvious. And come on, a mutant French poodle?!?! Honestly! And I have yet to figure out how when he becomes green, mutant, and angry he manages to keep his shorts on?? Even IF they were Spandex (which they so obviously were not) they would've ripped... It's just not believable. I guess the storyline was okay, and he broke a lot of shit, but still... I just thought it was kind of lame.. But I really liked Bana & Connelly; they played their parts quite well. 6\19\03 Top
I
~Identity
~Italian Job, The
IDENTITY (2003)
John Cusack - Ed
Ray Liotta - Rhodes
Amanda Peet - Paris
John Hawkes - Larry
& others
-RATING: 2 & A HALF PENGUINS- I had heard this movie was good & it looked good in the previews, and it was. It was really confusing. Probably if I watched it again I would make more sense of it. Everyone played their role well and it didn't have the cheesy imitation horror presence of the Scream movies, it was actually pretty good. It was really confusing because all these people are alternate personalities of one actual person and the psychiatrists are figuring out which one is really the killer. The killer (I'm not telling you which personality it was) leaves the room key by each person's body kind of like a calling card or something. It was good though! Top
ITALIAN JOB, THE (2003)
Mark Walhberg - Charlie Croker
Charlize Theron - Stella Bridger
Edward Norton - Steve Frezelli
Seth Green - Lyle "Napster"
Jason Statham - Handsome Rob
Mos Def - Left Ear
-RATING: 4 DAMN FINE PENGUINS & **LEI THE PENGUIN**- After reading the reviews on this movie & not expecting it to be too great until a friend of mine told me it was totally awesome, I kind of had mixed feelings. I hoped that it was good but expected it to suck horribly. However it was so very very good! This is definitely one of my favorite new releases of this summer. I didn't have a single disappointment with the movie & it had the greatest cast of any recent movie. With Mark Wahlberg of Rock Star fame, Seth Green of Austin Powers, Edward Norton of Death to Smoochy, Red Dragon, & The Score, & Jason Statham from The Transporter, and Charlize Theron from The Devil's Advocate, THIS CAST ROCKS!!! And oh gosh I love Seth Green's little laugh when he's dictating traffic. He's just like "You, turn left. And look, you did! (snicker)" it's so great. And throughout the whole movie he claims that he invented Napster but that his college roommate stole it from him while he was napping... hence the name, Napster. It's such a great movie! Top
L
~League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The
LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN, THE (2003)
Sean Connery - Allan Quartermain
Naseeruddin Shah - Captain Nemo
Peta Wilson - Mina Harker
Tony Curran - Rodney Skinner aka The Invisible Man
Stuart Townsend - Dorian Gray
Shane West - Tom Sawyer
Jason Flemyng - Dr. Henry Jekyll\Mr. Edward Hyde
-RATING: 1 VERY DULL PENGUIN- I really thought this movie was going to be good once I found out what it was about. There was action, and I have to say I was mighty impressed with the Nautilus, but... Something was missing. It just was not interesting. And I cannot believe that our theatre got TWO copies of this and only ONE copy of Pirates of the Caribbean!! I kind of like the idea of this story, but the characters aren't given any background. The most background is Dorian Gray, and the only thing they say about him really is that if he looks upon his aging portrait he will perish. Oh, and they mention just WHY The Invisible Man is actually invisible. But that's it. The general public is dumb as dirt and not to mention most of them are not up on their literature and may not know who The Invisble Man, Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer (although I do know who he is), etc. are! I definitely think it could have been a lot better. I mean honestly the highlight of this movie was when Captain Nemo was kicking ass. That's it. 7\10\03 Top
M
~Malibu's Most Wanted
~Matrix, The
~Matrix Reloaded, The
~Miss Congeniality
~Monty Python & The Holy Grail
MALIBU'S MOST WANTED (2003)
Jamie Kennedy - Brad Gluckman aka B-Rad
Taye Diggs - Sean
Anthony Anderson - PJ
Regina Hall - Shondra
-RATING: NO F***ING PENGUINS- This is quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I guess it could have potential if you like the whole I'm-really-white-but-pretending-to-be-black-for-the-sake-of-a-movie-plot kind of thing, but personally it annoys me. Jamie Kennedy is annoying, and the whole "don't be hatin'" thing gets obnoxious before he even says it the first time. The plot is stupid (Kennedy's father hires to black actors to scare 'B-Rad' into being white, but it doesn't work and in the end, 'B-Rad' acts like he did in the beginning). Some people I know have said they liked it, it was funny, etc., but personally I hated it for what it was --- a DUMB MOVIE. Top
THE MATRIX (1999)
Keanu Reeves - Neo
Laurence Fishburne - Morpheus
Carrie-Anne Moss - Trinity
Hugo Weaving - Agent Smith
Gloria Foster - The Oracle
Joe Pantoliano - Cypher
Marcus Chong - Tank
-RATING: 3 & A HALF PENGUINS & **LEI THE PENGUIN**- I always feel weird commenting on such wonderful and well-known movies but I do it anyway. I really love this movie and not just for Keanu Reeves either! Although him playing Neo (aka Mister Anderson) is an added plus. I really like Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity too, she is really good at it. And we can't forget Smith, man he's really cool. I love how the movie is like Neo kicking everyone's ass but it also makes you think! I love this movie! TopTHE MATRIX RELOADED (2003)
Keanu Reeves - Neo
Laurence Fishburne - Morpheus
Carrie-Anne Moss - Trinity
Gloria Foster - The Oracle
Hugo Weaving - Agent Smith
Randall Duk Kim - The Keymaker
Jada Pinkett Smith - Niobe
Harold Perrineau - Link
-RATING: 3 & A HALF PENGUINS & **LEI THE PENGUIN**- I just saw this movie last night (May 12th, '03) and man it was really good. It didn't really live up to my expectations but it was still good. In comparison to The Matrix it was good, but the first one was definitely better. The way the movie ended was kind of disappointing, but it did leave a good cliffhanger for the third movie that is going to be released in November, 2003. Neo did more ass-kicking than in the first one, but two of the fight scenes were really long. The scene on the freeway lasted really close to like twenty minutes and I just can't pay attention that long to a bunch of cars on a freeway. All in all it was good, but the first one was way better. However, this one provided more details about the matrix itself, and that this was the 6th time it had been loaded... hint, hint! Top
MISS CONGENIALITY (2000)
Sandra Bullock - Grace Hart
Michael Caine - Vic Melling
Benjamin Bratt - Eric Matthews
Candice Bergen - Kathy Morningside
William Shatner - Stan Fields
-RATING: 2 DRAG QUEEN PENGUINS- This movie is pretty funny, Sandra Bullock cracks me up as Grace and I really like Benjamin Bratt as Eric Matthews. The only reason I really like this movie & don't think it's ridiculous is because Grace reminds me of me. How she's a tomboy, lives in a messy apartment, doesn't own a comb or brush, is a mess, and is really just an adult tomboy. That is totally me to the letter. It's just funny to me to watch this & think man that is something I would do\say. It's a pretty funny movie though. Top
MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL (1975)
Graham Chapman
John Cleese
Eric Idle
Terry Gilliam
Terry Jones
Michael Palin
-RATING: 4 AFRICAN PENGUINS, A FEW SWALLOWS, A WIZARD NAMED TIM, & LEI THE PENGUIN- All I can say about this crazy Monty Python movie is that it's sort of like a cult classic. You either adore it or you despise it. One or the other. I LOVE THIS MOVIE! Top
P
~Phone Booth
~Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
~Pride and Prejudice
PHONE BOOTH (2003)
Colin Farrell - Stu Shephard
Kiefer Sutherland - The Caller
Forest Whitaker - Captain Ed Ramey
Radha Mitchell- Kelly Shepard
-RATING: 2 CLAUSTROPHOBIC PENGUINS- It was pretty short but I really like Colin Farrell; in my opinion he's a wonderful actor.. And he's Irish! Of course the entire movie is centered around this sniper guy who pretty much stalked the main guy, Stu (Colin Farrell). He traps him in the phone booth and forces him to confess his affairs to his wife. It's a pretty compelling movie with some poignant performances by Farrell as Stu Shepherd, the publicist. For anyone who has seen The Devil's Advocate it remined me of that - the husband neglects his wife and is totally involved in his career and own affairs and is too absorbed to be nice to the people around him, very detached. But Farrell comes around... Overall a very good movie. Top
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL (2003)
Johnny Depp - Captain Jack Sparrow
Geoffrey Rush - Barbossa
Orlando Bloom - Will Turner
Keira Knightley - Elizabeth Swann
-RATING: 4 & A HALF DAMN FUNNY PENGUINS AND A CIVILIAN OR TWO, PLUS MULTIPLE COPIES OF LEI THE PENGUIN- Even if I don't count sexy guys Johnny Depp & Orlando Bloom as added bonuses to this movie, it's still good. The 143-minute movie doesn't seem nearly as long as it is! The movie is engrossing and all sense of time disappears. Okay, now I'm adding Depp & Bloom. I really really like both of them & I'm glad to see Orlando Bloom in a lead role. And to see his name on a movie banner\poster. And Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors; he really is. He's been in so many movies, and he appears so different in all of them! Like for example: Edward Scissorhands, What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, & Sleepy Hollow. Yeah... Keira Knightley is pretty cool too. But I like Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa, which is a pretty stunning role. This is defintely one of my 4 favorite movies this summer (2003), along with Matrix: Reloaded, X2: X-Men United, & The Italian Job. 7\8\03 Top
PRIDE AND PREJUDICE (1995 - MINISERIES)
Colin Firth - Fitzwilliam Darcy
Jennifer Ehle - Elizabeth Bennet
David Bamber - Mr. Collins
Crispin Bonham-Carter - Mr. Bingley
Anna Chancellor - Miss Bingley
Susannah Harker - Jane Bennet
Barbara Leigh-Hunt - Lady Catherine de Bourgh
Adrian Lukis - Mr. Wickham
-RATING: 2 & A HALF INTELLECTUAL PENGUINS- We watched this in English my senior year in high school while we were reading the novel of the same name. Hey and it's by Jane Austen! I really Jane Austen and the movies based on her books are really really good also. This miniseries is like 6 hours long and follows the book verbatim, leaving nothing out or to be imagined. It was sooooo good!!Top
R
~Ring, The
~Road to Perdition
~Rock Star
~Roman Holiday
THE RING (2002)
Naomi Watts - Rachel Keller
Martin Henderson - Noah Keller
David Dorfman - Aidan Keller
-RATING: A FEW SCARED SHITLESS PENGUINS- Most movies I can stand and would watch again, but this is one that I will never watch again, EVER. I know it was actually a pretty stupid movie, but it scared the shit out of me! I saw it as a late-night at work (it was about 12:30am) and they theatre wasn't overly packed, maybe 10-15 people. Man I was so scared of this movie that I couldn't take a shower at night for like two weeks, I had trouble walking past a television in the dark, I had nighmares for weeks, and I STILL cannot watch the static on tv. And I saw this movie a long time ago! I suppose it was good for what it was, a scary movie, the plot was a little dumb I suppose, but it scared me more than I had ever been. I was so scared that when I got out of the shower the creepy black & white version of the little girl was going to be waiting for me. DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE!! Top
ROAD TO PERDITION (2002)
Tyler Hoechlin - Michael Sullivan, Jr.
Paul Newman - John Rooney
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Annie Sullivan
Tom Hanks - Michael Sullivan
Liam Aiken - Peter Sullivan
Daniel Craig - Connor Rooney
Ciaran Hinds - Finn McGovern
Craig Spidle & Ian Barford - Rooney's Henchmen
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I've seen this movie all the way through once, and it's pretty confusing to me. I just couldn't remember who everyone was! It's definitely a good story, definitely a good movie. It's just that it was confusing to me because I couldn't seem to remember who was who. Good movie though. 7\11\03 Top
ROCK STAR (2001)
Mark Wahlberg - Chris 'Izzy' Cole
Jennifer Aniston - Emily Poule
-RATING: TWO PENGUINS- One thing I really liked about this movie was the acting. I don't usually like Jennifer Aniston (who played Emily Poule - Chris Cole's girlfriend) but she was really good in this movie. Mark Wahlberg was excellent as Chris Cole aka Izzy; he becomes the lead singer of the band Steel Dragon. It's really cool because the lives of the Steel Dragon members and the lives of the members of the Steel Dragon tribute band are really similar. The only thing I didn't like was it seemed like Wahlberg was lip synching, which he prob. was I don't know whether he was or not, and when he switched bands, the voice switched... Or at least it seemed like it did, and it very well might've. A very good movie indeed - I had to watch it in pieces because of my work schedule but the whole time I was at work I wanted to go home and finish the movie! Top
ROMAN HOLIDAY (1953)
Gregory Peck - Joe Bradley
Audrey Hepburn - Princess Ann aka Anya "Smitty" Smith
Eddie Albert - Irving Radovich
-RATING: 3 ROMAN PENGUINS- After Peck's death just last week or so I wanted to see some of the great films with him in it. And since I've seen To Kill a Mockingbird where he plays the immortal Atticus Finch, Roman Holiday was my next choice. Another plus to this movie is Audrey Hepburn. I first saw her in Breakfast at Tiffany's, and this is her big role. It's a great movie, and Hepburn is wonderful as the princess who is sick of her schedules. So she is giving some sort of tranquilising shot, but she runs away before it kicks in. She then proceeds to fall asleep in a public street, where Peck (Bradley) ends up bringing her home to watch over here. Bradley is a news reporter for the American News Service, and Irving Radovich is his photographer friend. They take "Smitty" out around Rome, showing her the sights & enjoying themselves while also trying to get a story for the paper that is worth $5000. After a brawl at a dance, Bradley brings her home. At a press conference the next day Albert's character Radovich presents her with an envelope of "photographs commemorating her trip to Rome." It's a truly delightful movie! 6\29\03 Top
S
~Seabiscuit
~Sense and Sensibility
~Spirited Away
SEABISCUIT (2003)
Tobey Maguire - Red Pollard
David McCullough - Narrator
Jeff Bridges - Charles Howard
Chris Cooper - Tom Smith
Valerie Mahaffey - Annie Howard
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I really liked this movie. Maybe it's because I've always had a soft spot for horses, or maybe it's because this really is a GOOD movie. It tells the wholesome story of the Thoroughbred champ Seabiscuit! It covers his upbringing, lineage (descendant of Man O'War!), racing, problems, and his turning point with trainer Tom Smith & too-tall jockey Red Pollard. Such a good movie. The beginning was a little confusing, however. They never really said who was who in the movie, and kind of left you guessing for a little bit. I was a little disappointed though that we never got to find out what happened to Red's parents. 7\29\03 Top
SENSE AND SENSIBILITY (1995)
James Fleet - John Dashwood
Tom Wilkinson - Mr. Dashwood
Harriet Walker - Fanny Dashwood
Kate Winslet - Marianne Dashwood
Emma Thompson - Elinor Dashwood
Gemma Jones - Mrs. Dashwood
Hugh Grant - Edward Ferrars
Alan Rickman - Colonel Brandon
-RATING: 3 MORE INTELLECTUAL PENGUINS- I really like Jane Austen's books so I thought I would watch this movie. It was really good, such a classic novel turned into a movie. It was really really good! But I suppose you have to like her books to like this, since it's the movie of the book of the same name by Jane Austen. But basically the daughters are trying to get married, which is usually the plot of her books, but each book is so totally different... And the plot twists, ooooohhh... I really like this movie!Top
SPIRITED AWAY (2001)
Daveigh Chase - Chihiro Ogino/Sen (voice)
Jason Marsden - Haku (voice)
Suzanne Pleshette - Yubaba (voice)
-RATING: 2 & A HALF ANIMATED PENGUINS- I haven't really seen too many movies in the Japanese animation genre, but this movie was really good. The plot was a little strange, but the basic storyline was very good. The little girl and her parents are moving and stop to inspect the countryside. The parents find food and eat so much that they turn into pigs. Chihiro, the girl, is befriended by Haku, a guy who works in the spirit world. She gets a job at his help working at the bath house and eventually frees Haku and saves her parents. This movie is really engaging and is fantastic. I really liked it. Some of the characters were pretty amusing, like the 6-armed boiler room guy with his soot workers; the pigs in the pig pen; the witch woman that could fly by wrapping her dress around her (when she flew she looked like a mexican bird w\a sombrero); the giant baby; the little frog; the black spirits; the bobbing green heads... I can keep going but it was a wonderful movie! Definitely one of a kind, going by the movies I've seen. Top
W
~What's Eating Gilbert Grape
~Wizard of Oz, The
WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE (1993)
Johnny Depp - Gilbert Grape
Leonardo DiCaprio - Arnie Grape
Juliette Lewis - Becky
-RATING: 2 PENGUINS THAT ABSOLUTELY LOVE JOHNNY DEPP- I saw this movie by chance on television not too long ago and had always wanted to see it. I really like Johnny Depp and even though I'm not too fond of Leonardo DiCaprio he did really well as the mentally incapable Arnie Grape. Hey, the role suits him, what can I say.... Although that really must have taken quite some talent. I really felt bad for Gilbert, who has to take care of Arnie (who is, well, retarded..) and his rather large (I'm putting that nicely) mother. I also felt really bad about the mother because of her inability to move very much... and when she does exert herself it kills her! I felt so bad for the Grape Family but I was happy that Gilbert & Becky are together at the end I was kind of upset that she was leaving and he didn't know how to cope w\it. I really really like this movie, it's so sweet. It's one of the few movies where I'm totally drawn into the plot! Top
WIZARD OF OZ, THE (1939)
Judy Garland - Dorothy Gale
Frank Morgan - Professor Marvel, EC Doorman, Cabbie, Wizard's Doorman, Wizard of Oz
Ray Bolger - Hunk, The Scarecrow
Bert Lahr - Zeke, The Cowardly Lion
Jack Haley - Hickory, The Tin Man
Billie Burke - Glinda, the Good With of the North
Margaret Hamilton - Miss Almira Gulch\The Wicked Witch of the West
-RATING: 4 PENGUINS- ONE TIN, ONE FURRY, ONE FLAMMABLE, AND ONE CHECKERED- What can I say? It's simply a classic, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I recently saw it at the Saengar Theatre in New Orleans on the big screen. It was so great I was like "wow." And until that time I saw it, I never realised how many references there are to drugs.. Like the poppies (opium, guys). And I also never realised just how gay the tin man really seemed (Sorry Jack!) But it's still such a great movie, but I really think that seeing it on the big screen makes the movie so much better. And all the beginning stuff... About Zeke (TCL) telling Dorothy "Haven't you gotten any courage?" and Hunk (TS) saying "Why didn't you use your brain?" Hickory doesn't really say anything in the movie about tin, but there's a missing scene (so I'm told by Nin) or a missing line where Auntie Em tells Hickory to stop messing around with the tin in the shed and get to work. The movie is so great, I could watch it over & over! 6\14\03 Top
X
~X-Men
~X-Men 2
X-MEN (2000)
Hugh Jackman - Wolverine\Logan
Patrick Stewart - Doctor Charles Xavier
Ian McKellan - Erik Lensherr\Magneto
Famke Janssen - Dr. Jean Grey
James Marsden - Cyclops\Scott Summers
Halle Berry - Storm\Ororo Munroe
Anna Paquin - Rogue\Marie D'Ancanto
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos - Mystique
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I really like this movie. I had seen it a few times before I finally saw the whole thing in one sitting and it's such an extraordinary movie, it really is. I think most people have seen this movie, it's one of those that everyone (or almost everyone) has seen. But for those weirdos of you who haven't seen it, it's about a bunch of mutants who call themselves the X-Men. End of story. Actually the movie is better than my dinky description makes it sound. WATCH IT NOW! I command it! Top
X-MEN 2 (2003)
Patrick Stewart - Prof. Charles Francis Xavier
Hugh Jackman - Wolverine\Logan
Ian McKellan - Magneto\Erik Magnus Lehnsherr
Halle Berry - Storm\Ororo Munroe
Famke Janssen - Dr. Jean Grey
James Marsden - Cyclops\Scott Summers
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos - Mystique\Raven Darkholme
Brian Cox - Col. William Stryker
Alan Cumming - Nightcrawler\Kurt Wagner
Bruce Davison - Sen. Robert Kelly
Anna Paquin - Rogue\Marie D'Ancanto
Kelly Hu - Lady Deathstrike\Yuriko Oyama
Aaron Stanford - Pyro\John Allerdyce
Shawn Ashmore - Iceman\Bobby Drake
-RATING: 3 PENGUINS- I saw this one the Tuesday after it came out (a sad fact since I WORK at a movie theatre, but hey whatever) after I finished watching the first one all the way through. This one definitely blew the first one out of the water, it was so good! I really love Nightcrawler and Jean really upset me. But it was a very good movie, one of the best I have seen in awhile. It was like nonstop action, never a dull moment. But the funniest part was when something startled Wolverine & he pulled out his claws and turned around and it was just a cat! hehe. After seeing bits and pieces of this movie over and over again I'm convinced it's one of the best 5 movies of the summer. Man such a good movie! Go watch this too! Now! Top
2
~2 Fast 2 Furious
2 FAST 2 FURIOUS (2003)
Paul Walker - Brian O'Connor
Tyrese - Roman Pearce
Eva Mendes - Monica Clemente
Cole Hauser - Carter Verone
Ludacris - Tej
Devon Aoki - Suki
-RATING: .00987 PENGUINS- I think my friend said it best -- "I've never seen so many ugly cars in one place." He's right... The movie was absolutely H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E!!!!!!!! Please do NOT waste your time on this movie, it's the worst hour & 53 minutes... Afterwards you're going to wish you'd thought better of it and seen something else. If I had paid to see this movie I would have been really upset. Top
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