Pardon the Interruption
by Polka Dot

Goten screwed up his face and looked at his parents curiously. He was hungry. He came into the kitchen to get something to eat. He did it all the time, he was a little Saiyan after all, so why were they both acting so weird about it?

His dad, whom he was still getting to know, but liked a lot, was making a face similar to the one he had when he was fighting Vegeta. He was smiling but it wasn't that big happy warm smile, it was that 'I'm going to beat the hell out of you and enjoy it' smile. At least that's how his dad was smiling at his mom, when he turned to Goten he smiled more like normal, but it still looked a little strange. Goten would've been scared to be smiled at like that, but his mom didn't seem to mind.

In fact she was the one really acting strange. Her face was all red and she kept glancing at his dad so she wasn't paying attention to preparing the food and it took her forever to fix Goten a sandwich. She was usually really quick, but she forgot to get all the stuff out of the fridge in one trip, so she kept going back for the mayonaise and then the lettuce and she even forgot the cheese. At one point she tried to put peanut butter on his turkey sandwich.

She had acted like this when she was sick once and Goten began to worry. He remembered that Gohan made mom go to her room and sleep, while he made breakfast. That hadn't been a good meal, but at least Goten got fed and his mom seemed to feel better after that.

"Mommy do you need to go to bed?" He asked when she handed him the sandwich. He noticed her hair was really messy.

His mom almost dropped the dish. Her hand shook and her face flushed super red. "What? Why would ask something like that?" Her voice got really high and she was looking at Goten with really wide eyes. His dad was chuckling from the other side of the table. He had grabbed the rest of the potato chips and was munching on them.

"Are you sick mommy? Your face is all red." Goten asked as he took a big bite out of the sandwich. It wasn't much of a snack, but he knew dinner was coming soon.

His mom's face got even redder but she seemed to relax too. "I'm not sick." She said as she straightened her back and crossed her arms. She looked over at his dad with a disapproving look and frowned slightly.

His dad stopped laughing and looked at Goten. "Your mom's not sick. She just needs a break. Why don't you come here and sit on my lap for a minute Chichi?"

Goten had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. His mom's jaw literally dropped down and her eyes got really big. She stared at his dad with a bright red face and she really did look like a fish as her mouth opened and closed a couple of times. His dad ignored all of this. "Come here Chichi." It was a quiet command but Goten heard it and so did his mom. To Goten's surprise, his mom actually did as his dad said and sat down on his lap. Her face remained a constant red and she refused to look at his dad's face. Instead she stared down at the table. She had a napkin in her hand and was twisting it back and forth.

She was really quiet and that was really odd. "Are you sure you're not sick mommy?" Goten got up and walked to the other side of the table.

"No I'm fine, really!" His mom put her hand up in a stop sign and dropped hernapkin. Her other hand fell into her lap, covering his dad's.

Goten shrugged. He didn't know what was going on, but Gohan acted weird all the time now too, at least when he was around. Most of the time he was out with Videl, like he was right now. He supposed it had something to do with the whole Majin Buu incident. It didn't matter. There was nothing to do while he waited for mom to cook dinner. "Can I go outside and play?" He asked.

"Yes." His parents answered in unison. Goten left the kitchen, as soon as the door closed he heard the distinct sound of a slap. He winced, even though his dad was strong, that probably still smarted.

Gohan wasn't nearly as niave as Goten. Well perhaps that's arguable, but when it came to what his parents were doing in the bedroom done the hall, he was 100% certain that they weren't moving furniture.

"Gosh Gohan, are you sure we shouldn't help? I don't want mommy to throw out her back like she did last year when she was cleaning the barrel." Goten looked up at his brother with big worried eyes.

"Don't worry Goten. I'm sure dad is doing most of the work." Gohan felt his face flush red. He didn't mean to insinuate anything there, but even if he did Goten wouldn't get it.

This was just too terrible. Weren't his parents done yet? First of all he really didn't feel comfortable having to hear this stuff. He was glad his dad was back and really glad his parents were getting along so well. From what he could remember as a child, mom spent most of her time yelling, while dad spent most of his time hiding from mom. They definitely seemed to be getting along better now, and since he was a teenager he could understand how after seven years they would both be a bit horny. But he had to get up early to go to school in the morning! Not to mention that he didn't like lying, but then he couldn't tell Goten what they were really doing in there and that damn kid just kept asking questions.

"Did you catch mommy's cold. Your face is all red again?"

Gohan sighed. "I'm not sick." He answered for maybe the hundredth time that week.

His dad never blushed. He just smiled that big grin, threw his hand behind his head and laughed. But between his mother and hisself, well half the son household looked like it had been buried in the desert with just their heads popping out of the sand.

It wasn't all because of his parents antics either. Gohan wasn't a child. He was mature enough that if he saw his parents kissing or snuggling, he thought that was cool and it didn't phase him. But well when he walked into the living room and saw his dad's hand buried beneath his mother's skirt, that was a bit much. Both he and his mom turned a healthy shade of red. And his mom hated to be embarrassed! She always had a counter and lately her favorite was to ask Gohan how his day with Videl went. Then Gohan's face would turn a rather unhealthy plum color.

First of all, he was at school, where Videl just happened to be a classmate of his. So it wasn't accurate to say he spent his day with her. It was really like they were thrown together and making the most out of it by enjoying each other's company, sometimes behind the cafeteria enterance between third and fourth period. But he had yet to put his hand up her skirt!

Gohan's thoughts drifted to just how far his hand had travelled towards that forbidden territory when the house because eerily quiet. Not only had his parents stopped, but his brother had disappeared!

Gohan flung open the door to his bedroom and peered down the hall. His brother stood with wide eyes in the doorframe of their parents bedroom. Time seemed to stand still, as Gohan had no idea what to do. Then Goten turned his stunned face towards Gohan.

"I don't understand Gohan. None of the furniture's been moved at all!"

"Huh?"

Against his better judgement, Gohan crept forward hoping to snatch his brother back before he could see anything that may scar him for life.

Fortunately he didn't need to worry. In the next instance he heard a girlish giggle, that really didn't sound like his mom at all, and then the unmistakeable sound of running water.

His dad looked ocnfused, but happy. His mother was also smiling, but she looked worried. And despite the fact that his parents (as in his mom) had called him in to the kitchen to talk with him, no one was saying anything. It was weird and uncomfortable and whatever was going on, he had homework to do, so he couldn't sit at the kitchen table staring at his parents all day.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?" Gohan prompted.

"Yes we did, right Goku?" Chichi nudged her husband who was daydreaming about food, or fighting. It was always hard to tell with him.

"Ah right Chichi, your mother and I want to talk to you about Videl."

"Videl?" He wasn't expecting that.

"Well really we want to talk to you about your relationship with Videl, you know your..." His mother blushed a little and looked down at the table,"your nightly crimefighting and other activities," she said as she tapped her fingers together. She didn't look up and her face was really red now.

Gohan looked horrified, when his mother said 'other activities', her face flushed that deep red and her voice managed the pop out of her throat like a dart. He knew what this was, this was the talk. He didn't need the talk, they dicussed this sort of stuff at school. Didn't his parents know that? No of course his parents didn't know that. His father was schooled by Master Roshi, so the talk for him probably consisted of porn mags and videos. His mother was home schooled by the Ox King. He didn't want to know what kind of talk she received, but the idea that he was actually about to be given the talk by these...No there would be no talk.

Gohan threw his hand behind the back of his head and laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. "There are no other activities, you know Satan City's so full of criminals, Videl and I can barely keep up. Heck we hardly have time to talk to each other."

"Now Gohan you don't need to lie to us. We understand that you and Videl are young and your hormones are, well, you two are experiencing new emotions and feelings and..." His mother tried to sound very casual, but her face was going from red to sort of purplish blue like the words she was trying to say were choking her.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, Goku tried to help out his wife. "It's okay that you two are sleeping together, because your mom and I know you and Videl love each other, but we're are just a little worried that's all."

"Dad!" Gohan wasn't sure if he was standing or sitting or floating through space. He felt numb except for the incredible amount of blood that was rushing to his face.

"Well I wouldn't say it's okay. I mean I know times have changed but you're not married yet..." His mother seemed to find her voice.

"Chichi, don't push him."

"Mom!"

"I'm not pushing. I just don't think it's right. We waited until we were married."

"Well, that's true, but..." Goku scratched his head.

"Mom, Dad, Stop it! First of all Videl and I are NOT sleeping together. Secondly you two got married the day after you remet each other and thirdly, I don't want to talk to you two about this!" Gohan screamed so loud the table between them shook.

"Now Gohan why wouldn't you want to talk to us? We're your parents." Now his mom looked hurt and Gohan could never stand that look.

"Yeah we just want to make sure you're okay. There's no need to go Super saiyan Gohan." His father frowned a little disapprovingly.

"Huh?" Gohan looked at the flames surrounding him. He had gone super saiyan and didn't even realize it. He sighed and powered down. "Umm I'm okay, dad. And mom I'm sorry I yelled at you. So is this talk over with?" Please, please please.

"Well not really." Gohan whimpered. "It's just that, well we just want to make sure that if you and Videl decide to well, you know," big swallow, "I just want to make sure that you two are careful because I want you to go to the university, and you won't be able to do that if you have a baby." His mother sighed, having obviously said her piece, she nudged Goku in the side.

"Oh yeah so your mom and I wanted to make sure that you have some condos." His father finished, looking bored now that Gohan was back to normal (ie not super saiyan).

Chichi rolled her eyes. Gohan just gave in to the absurdity. "I think you mean condoms dad, and you don't have to worry about that, the school dispenses them in the nurse's office."

"It does?" His mother gaped a little at that.

"Yes."

"Oh well okay then."

"So we're done the talk is over." Please please please.

"Yeah I guess so." Thank Kami. Gohan prepared to leave. "Gohan, do you have any questions for us?" His mother asked to the ceiling.

"No."

"What's a hicky?" Goten scrunched up his face and it would've been adorable except that right now his mother was trying to stay conscious, which wasn't easy with all the blood that had flooded her brain five seconds ago.

It had started off as such a nice morning too, waking up in her husband's arms. His broad smile was as warm as the sun creeping over their bed. And after much delay of a very pleasant nature she had gotten dressed and come downstairs to start breakfast.

Goten rose as soon as the smell of cooking hit his nose and he bounded like a puppy into the kitchen with big expectant eyes. Eyes that narrowed and frowned as they zeroed in on his mother's neck.

"Mommy your neck is bruised!" His tiny little voice squeaked out in horror.

Her brain immediately set to work on an explanation, one that would soothe the toubled boy. Unfortunately her husband chose that moment to enter the kitchen and state simply, "It's not a bruise, it's just a hicky I gave your mom last night." And then the idiot had actually winked at her!

So now Goten wanted to know, just what was a hicky and her happy husband was opening his mouth and only Dende knew what was about to exit it.

Chichi wasn't about to taint any of her son's innocence so she piped in quickly. "It's a kiss. Just like the kind mommy gives you on your forehead when you go to bed at night."

Goten immediately ran out of the room.

Goku looked at her oddly. Chichi frowned, he'd been the one to make her lie, so why was he giving her that look? "Well it is sort of, just what were you going to say?"

"I was going to tell him that it was a soft bite."

"Then he'd want to know why you were biting me last night."

"Well that's easy, it's because you taste so good." Goku smirked at her and she found herself reaching for the just too distant frying pan.

"Mommy I checked and I don't have a bruise on my forehead." Goten pointed at the creamy skin. The unspoken question was obvious.

Goku chuckled again. "Well you see Goten when you kiss someone with your lips it's a kiss and when you kiss someone with your teeth it's a hicky."

"You kissed mommy with your teeth?" Goten closed his eyes and frowned.

It wasn't good when any of the Son men thought this hard, so his mother decided to put an end to this discussion immediately. "You know you're father's always hungry Goten. Even when he's kissing me he's thinking of ham sandwiches."

Goten accepted that, after all his little tummy was growling, waiting for it's breakfast. Goku looked a little horrifed and embarrassed, which Chichi thought was odd considering his explanation of a hicky is what gave her the idea. Of course she didn't know that right now her husband was trying to figure out how his wife knew that he fantasized about ham sandwiches when they were having sex.

Gohan surpressed the holler that was itching in his throat. It was wedged just behind his adam's apple, stuck in his esophagus and working it's way up, but he held it down. He choked on it. He would not scream like a girl. No way. This was no big deal. After all he was a teenager, practically an adult.

He knew that his parents were just getting reacquainted after his father's long absence. He knew that he was lucky to have parents who still loved each other and wanted to be together. Most of his friends at school had only one parent raising them, heck he'd only had his mother a few months ago. This was good. They were happy. His mother was happier than she had been in years and his father, well his father was always happy, but there was less fighting.

So the fact that his parents were having sex at lot in unusual places was fine. Well almost fine. It wasn't fine when they were having sex in his bed. And it especially wasn't fine when they were sloppy and left things behind, like his mother's underwear, which was currently bunched up just below his ear, which was why right now he was choking on his own scream.

He wasn't going to scream though. He was not going to wake up his brother and his mother and his father. They would all run into the room to see why he was screaming. Then his parents would see his mother's underwear sitting on his pillow and he'd never be able to look either one of them in the eye ever again.

What he needed to do was move. Not spring out of bed like a lunatic, just move his head, in such a way that the underwear didn't touch him anymore than it already was. He needed to move and not breath. He didn't want to inhale any scent that the underwear may be carrying. He wanted to just float directly up, but he'd have to raise his chi to do that and in this house that was just like screaming. He wanted to sit up, but he was on his side and so he'd have to rollover, but could he roll over without moving his head and thus disturbing his mother's panties? All of a sudden the movie Psycho flashed in his head and he felt a certain kinship with Norman. Great, now he was double disturbed.

Gohan rolled over and the soft scrape of silk again his cheek caused him to bolt upright, push off his sheets and sprint to the other side of the room in less than a second. His fist planted firmly in his mouth surpressed his whimpering. He was okay. It was over, he walked quietly to the bathroom, washed the left side of his face, four times with Ivory soap and then rubbed a little alcohol on his face, just in case any germs had survived. Not that there'd be germs, because why would his mom's panties have germs?

Stop! bad train of thought, he wasn't going to think about those anymore, he was just going to go back to bed and get some sleep.

One problem: when he got back to his room the panties were still on his pillow. He'd had to move them, and change his pillow case. He had to move them, and remove the pillow case, preferrably without having to touch either. He should go outside and get a stick, however that had a good chance of waking someone up. He could get a fork or some other utensil from the kitchen, but then he'd have to wash that. Gohan spotted his brother's baseball bat and a smile crept to his face. He'd knock the panties off the bed, pushing them somewhere(not under the bed, because he couldn't sleep with his mother's panties under the bed), then put the bat in the pillow case, grab the pillow, pull it out and the pillow case would be on the end of the bat where he could dump it in the laundry.

It was a perfect plan, easily executed, except now his mother's panties were on the floor, sitting in plain sight. He'd have to move them somewhere, after all his parents wouldn't have left them behind if they were just sitting in the middle of the floor. Logically under the bed made the most sense. The only person who ever looked there was his mom when she cleaned. If he left them there, she'd find them, assume they had been there all along and take them away. He could push them under the bed, but then where would he sleep? He couldn't sleep with them there. It wasn't just him being psychotic, if one of his father's many enemies attacked they could hit the house, knock him out of the bed and then he'd be down on the floor by the bed where the possibility of touching the panties was just too great.

He could knock them under the toy chest, but then Goten might find them. That would be okay because Goten wouldn't understand their significance, but then Goten might bring them to Gohan. Maybe he should knock them into the closet. No, then he'd have to see them again. Under the bed was still best. He'd just have to put them out of his mind and pray his mom cleaned soon. Gohan used the baseball bat to knock his mother's panties under his bed, then put the bat back in the corner and laid down to try to get some sleep. As he slipped under the covers, he buried his nose in his nice clean, just out of the closet pillow case and curled into a ball. That's when the strap from his mother's bra caught onto his big toe.

"AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!"

Disclaimer: It's all thanks to Akira Toriyama. Thanks!