The Song Remembers When

He was pulled from his thoughts as the young kid handed him his change.

"Thanks." He said automatically and turned around and left. Buffy Summers.

I was standing at the counter

I was waiting for the change

When I heard that old familiar music start

It was like a lighted match

Had been tossed into my soul

It was like a dam had broken in my heart

Getting into his Lexus he fumbled with his radio trying to find the station the kid had been listening to. Somewhere in the last 10 years he'd left his country music ways behind, and now found himself listening to what the music industry called 'Adult Contemporary'. As he flipped the station he found Trisha's voice speaking to his soul. How had did she know how he felt? After leaving Sunnydale behind 10 years ago and moving to Virginia his whole life had changed, a fact that was not lost on him. Anything to leave the pain behind, and her memory.

After taking every detour

Getting lost and losing track

So that even if I wanted

I could not find my way back

After driving out the memory

Of the way things might have been

After I'd forgotten all about us

The song remembers when

He thought about how his life had detoured from his original plan. His dream of a successful Military career had died the night he helped save Oz. Looking back now, he knew in his heart, that if called upon,he would do it again. What the Initiative had become, was not what he'd signed on for. So he fought side by side with Buffy and her gang, turning his back on the military and his friends.

Today he grateful that Graham and the agency had forgiven him for turning his back on them. It still tore at his heart that he hadn't been able to apologise to Forrest. Now at 34 years of age, he still found himself thinking about Forrest daily, it was hard not to since he worked with Graham everyday. The two were the proud partners of a successful International Security Consulting firm that saw each of their bank accounts with balances over the six figure mark. Riley now ran the business side of things, from their offices in Boston. His wife Claire had died in a car accident 2 years ago, leaving him to raise their 3 daughters. Though he mourned her loss, he'd moved on to raise his children to the best of his ability. So the reality of the situation was, he'd had no time to think about the beautiful blonde who'd broke his heart into a million pieces 10 years ago. Yet then why was this song doing it.

We were rolling through the Rockies

We were up above the clouds

When a station out of Jackson played that song

And it seemed to fit the moment

And the moment seemed to freeze When we turned the music up and sang along

He found it disconcerting to be thinking about Buffy suddenly. The day he'd boarded the plane with Graham, Riley decided to leave Sunnydale and Buffy in his past. Thoughts of her were buried amongst other memories that he'd buried deep in dark corners of his mind. Occasionally he'd see a certain shade of blonde hair or a laugh and she'd enter his mind briefly, but it was just a fleeting thought. Why now was this song drudging up painful old memories? Memories of happier times, when he'd wanted to stop time so he'd always have those moments. Days they'd spent at the beach, when they should have been in class or studying. Frat parties, where he'd hold her proudly by his side, as other guys checked her out. Holding her in his arms as they danced to some song or other. The tickle fights, that would turn into marathon love making sessions. But lastly the simple moments of watching her sleep peacefully in his arms or watching her chew on her pen as she read something from a textbook. The little things were the memories that hurt the most.

And there was a God in Heaven

And the world made perfect sense

We were young and were in love

And we were easy to convince

We were headed straight for Eden

It was just around the bend

And though I have forgotten all about it

The song remembers when

The final days of their relationship when he'd realised that Buffy would never love him. Then finally the day, when he'd left her behind. With not even a backwards glance, he walked out of her life for good. He could still hear her calling his name, begging for him to stop and look at her. He could hear the pain in her voice, even her desperation, but he didn't hear love. It killed him to do this, but he knew neither of them would be happy if he stayed with her. Eventually they'd start resenting each other, and it would end badly.

At first she'd called Graham crying, begging him to tell her where Riley was. Graham had refused to help her, telling her Riley was better off without her. Letters would arrive at the apartment addressed to Riley, but Graham would always return them to sender. Eventually the letters and calls became less frequent, then they stopped all together. She'd moved on it seemed.

I guess something must have happened

And we must have said goodbye

And my heart must have been broken

Though I can't recall just why

The song remembers when

Riley found himself sitting in his car staring up at his house. The Christmas lights twinkled in the evening, and he smiled thinking of all the great Christmases he'd spent with Claire and the kids in the old house. Now he hoped they could make new memories in this new house. He saw the front door open and saw Sam, his children's nanny,standing in the front doorway.

"Dr. Finn? Are you coming in?" she called with her perfect British accent, that made him think of Giles.

"Coming." He called to her as he closed the car door and headed up to the house.

"I'm sorry for rushing you, but I have a date tonight." She smiled apologetically at him.

"Don't worry Sam. I do still remember what it's like to be young." He chuckled at her.

"Thank you. Jordan is at a sleepover at Amanda's. You'll have to pick her up at 10:00 tomorrow for her dance lesson. Tristan and Hope have both been had dinner, bathed and are waiting for their daddy to read them their bed time story. Don't forget that Tristan has that birthday party tomorrow afternoon at Wendy's. The present is on the table. Remind Mrs. Weston that Tristan has that allergy to nuts." Sam said all this without taking a single breath, and Riley just smiled at the red head in front of him, as he remembered another red head from his past. Willow.

"Not a problem, Sam. Enjoy your date and weekend off. I'll see you Sunday night."

"Good night Dr. Finn." She smiled and picking up her suitcase and prepared to walk out the door.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Mr. Miller called and said that the Colombian problem has been dealt with. He'll be back tomorrow afternoon. And to remind you, that you and the girls are suppose to meet him for dinner tomorrow night. Do you mind me asking you something, Dr. Finn?"

Riley just smiled at his nanny and nodded his head. He'd grown to think of Sam as part of the family and truly counted on her to help raise his daughters. He just wished she'd start calling him Riley. Nobody called him Dr. Finn anymore, not since he'd quit teaching.

"Sure? Why didn't Mr. Miller marry? Is he gay or something?" she asked tentatively.

Riley threw his head back and laughed. The world's famous lover boy, Graham Miller gay! Now that was funny.

"No Sam, he's not gay. I assume he hasn't hit on you then." Riley said as he'd finally managed to get control of himself. Sobering he continued. His warning to Graham, to stay away from the nanny must have worked.

"No, he's not. Graham use to care about a young woman when we were in college, but by the time he finally got up the nerve to do something about it…" He said letting the rest of the story drop.

Graham at one time had, had such a crush on Willow, that it took every bit of coaxing from him and Buffy to ask her out. By the time he'd gotten around to it, she was with Tara. Graham had been broken hearted at the time, promising himself he'd never let that happen again. So instead he left town. Deciding to just stay a fun loving, no strings attached bachelor. Sure, Claire had tried her everything to set him up, but he'd always managed to avoid her attempts.

"Oh." She said smiling slightly.

"Once again, have a nice weekend Sam." Riley said turning to go find his young daughters.

"Oh yes! There are two other messages by the phone in the kitchen. The woman said it was important that you call her." Sam said before heading out the door.

"Important eh? Not as important as my two little mermaids." Riley said to himself, dropping his brief case on the chair by the door. He pulled his suit jacket off and dropped it over the banister, and headed towards the kitchen for a cold beer.

"Yeah, that's right. Drink away any thought of Buffy!" he snorted. At that moment he wished Graham was already home, he felt the need to talk.

Walking into the kitchen he switched the light on trying to loosen his tie at the same time. He opened up the fridge door, pulling out a beer and a piece of cold chicken. Twisting the cap off the beer, he dropped the lid in the garbage can under the sink. He sat down at the breakfast bar and took a mouthful of beer and he thought about Buffy. Her beautiful smile, and the way her hazel eyes would crinkle up when she'd smile. He found himself wondering what she'd look like now. Smiling as he tried to picture her in his mind's eye, he knew he was in trouble, dreaming about a girl from his past! He had two little girls up stairs waiting for their daddy to read them their bed time story.

Well, for all the miles between us

And for all the time that's passed

You would think I haven't gotten very far

And I hope my hasty heart

Will forgive me just this once

If I stop to wonder how on Earth you are

Riley shook his head and reached for the messages that sat by the phone. Taking another sip of beer, he almost choked on it when he read the name. Willow Rosenberg.

Both messages read the same way. "Riley please call, it's important! Willow." Riley looked at the two messages and then her phone number. He could feel himself reaching for the receiver when he heard a little voice behind him.

"Daddy, are you coming to read to us?" Riley pulled his hand back from the receiver, rubbing it as if he'd been burnt. He turned to see his 4 year old daughter Tristan standing there in her p.j.'s..

"Sure thing, angel girl!" He said scooping down to pick her up. Looking into her cute little face he saw his own blue eyes staring back at him. His girls were his life now. Willow would have to wait until they were safety in bed.

"Piggy back daddy." She squealed as Riley headed up the stairs with her.

But that's just a lot of water

Underneath a bridge I burned

And there's no use in backtracking

Around corners I have turned

Still I guess some things we bury

Are just bound to rise again

For even if the whole world has forgotten

The song remembers when

Yeah, and even if the whole world has forgotten

The song remembers when

Part Two

Riley pulled the covers up over his 6 year old daughter Hope, and turned out the lamp next to her bed. 4 year old Tristan hadn't even made it past the second page before she'd fallen asleep in Riley's lap earlier. Looking down at his daughter his heart skipped a beat. These wonders of life, this little treasures where his. Looking down at Hope he smoothed her auburn ringlet away from her face. It made his heart ache when he looked at her, she reminded him so much of Claire. Claire use to joke that she was lucky one of the three girls looked like her, because nobody would believe that the other two were hers. True, Tristan and his 8 year old, daughter Jordan were spiting images of him, right down to his blue eyes and smile. He placed the book they'd been reading back onto the bookshelf and closed the door behind him.

Since Claire's death he had taken on the job of reading the girls their bedtime stories. Riley enjoyed this time of the day he'd spend with the girls, it was a nice way to unwind after a stressful day. With the way the business was going, Riley couldn't always be counted on for dinner, but story time was a different. This was their time. Graham use to tease him about this, until he himself had the pleasure of having the Finn girl's hanging on his every word. Now, when Uncle Graham stayed for dinner it was he who read them their story.

Riley went into his room and pulled off his tie, which still hung around his neck. The day had been stressful, and after a few hair raising moments in Colombia , which he'd have to speak to Graham about upon his return, he was bagged. Almost as much as he loved being home with the girls, he hated being tied down to a desk, away from the action. He stripped off his shirt and hung his suit pants in the closet. He'd have to remember to ask Sam to take his cleaning to the dry cleaners next week.

Riley jumped into the shower and stood under the hot spray, waiting for it to massage the knots out of his shoulders. Yes, he would speak to Graham when he got back. He started to hum to himself as he took the soap in his hand. Without realising it he had started humming "The Song Remembers When", and as he got to the chorus he stopped.

he showered the soap off and turned the water off.

Stepping from the shower he looked around. The room seemed different to him now. Gone were Claire's hair products and body creams. Gone was the floral air freshener she used to love. Riley sat down on the toilet seat head held in his hands. It was little things like this, that reminded him that was Claire was gone. Actually everything reminded him that Claire was gone. He felt a sudden pain his heart and he heard a sob break from himself. Two years, and he still fell apart at the strangest things.

Pulling himself to his feet he brushed at the tears that were rolling down his face. Maybe he was just tired, a good nights sleep may help. Walking back into the room he pulled his plaid flannel pants and white t-shirt from the drawer, and pulled them on. Sitting on the side of the bed he sighed to himself, the house was so quiet. At least when Sam was home the music was playing down the hall in her room, or at least they'd play Scrabble or something. He hated not having someone to talk to. Almost as if someone read his mind the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hey, Man!"

"Where the hell are you!" Riley roared at Graham. After the assassination attempt on one of their clients, Riley had been on pins and needles. He hadn't talked to Graham and he was starting to worry. Graham had gone down to take care of the security at the National Election in Colombia, when an attempt was made on the country's president. One of Graham's men, Paul Templeton, had been killed and another seriously wounded.

"I'm still at the hotel Riley. Relax, I'm okay." Graham said trying to calm Riley. Graham knew how hard it was for Riley to sit at home when the shit hit the fan.

"Sure?"

"Positive. Not even a scratch. Look, we're going to have to tear this job apart and find out what went wrong. I don't ever want to live through another afternoon like this."

"Me neither." Sighed Riley remembering his own afternoon. The song, then the 2 phone messages from Willow. He wanted to talk to Graham about it, but he wasn't sure how to approach the subject. Willow, was still a name that was off limits between them.

"Rye. What's wrong? And don't tell me it's nothing, I can hear it in your voice." Graham asked carefully. Claire's death had hit them all really hard, and there were still days when it was hard for Riley to get out of bed. Between the girls and himself they had pulled Riley back from the edge, and propped him back on his feet. Riley was his best friend, and the last thing he hated to see was him hurting.

"It can wait til you get back."

"Bad day?"

"Something like that." Riley whispered to himself.

"Look this call is business, so it's a write off. Spill." Graham leaned back against the headboard for another soul-searching conversation. Riley was the closest thing to a brother he had, and the two shared everything.

"Sure? You're not off to pick up some latin lovely?"

"Spill it now, or I'm on the next plane to Boston! And you know what I'm like asshole, when I don't get my beauty sleep."

Riley snorted at the biggest understatement of all time. Graham needed his sleep or he was a total bear to deal with.

"It's just been a really strange day. I was at the gas station on Park side, inside paying the bill, when a song came on the radio."

"You're depressed over a song."

"Not just any song. It was one by Trisha Yearwood."

"Okay Rye, I've told you no more country music. Pearl Jam good, George Strait bad."

Riley laughed at his best friends attempt to cheer him up. "Look, I know you like Terri Clark, so shut up."

"That's because she's cute."

"Look do you want to hear this story or not? Anyway the songs called 'The Song Remembers When', and well I started to remember when."

"Remember what?" Graham asked as he flipped the station on the hotel t.v., trying to find a station that wasn't talking about the mess that afternoon.

"Buffy."

Graham's attention snapped right back to his friend, not sure he'd heard him right..

"Buffy? Did you say Buffy?"

"Yeah. Look, I know we haven't spoken about her in like, 5 years, but it hit me today out of the blue."

"Yeah, that's definitely the blue.'

"It gets weirder. Willow called me and left two messages. She says it's important and want me to call her back."

"Wow!" was all Graham could say once he'd heard the "W" name.

"I have this horrible nagging feeling that Buffy's dead. You and I haven't spoken about her in years, but she still owns a large part of my heart Gray. I don't know what I'll do if Willow's calling to tell me she's dead." There he'd finally said out loud what he'd been thinking. He realised that the tears a moment ago were not for Claire, but for fear of Buffy being dead. Riley truly feared another woman he loved was dead.

"Can it wait till I get back tomorrow? I'll sit with you when you call." Offered Graham. Watching Riley deal with breaking up with Buffy and mourning Claire's death were the two worst experiences of Graham's life. He wasn't sure he wanted his friend alone when he got the news.

"I owe it to Willow." Riley said pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to hold back the tears that were once again threatening.

"Call me back."

"Okay."

"I'm catching the first flight out in the morning Rye. I'll be home by noon."

"Good night Gray."

"Call me back Rye!"

"I'll try." And with that said Riley hung up the phone and got off the bed. He slowly walked down the stairs to the kitchen to get Willow's phone number off the counter. If anyone had seen him walking down the stairs, they would have thought he was off to face the gas chamber, not his French Provincial kitchen.

He flicked the light on again and grabbed another beer from the fridge. His last beer still sat on the counter unfinished, he'd left it there when he went to read to the girls. Walking to the counter he sat down again on the same stool and picked up Willow's message. "Riley, call me, it's important. Willow." Looking at the phone number he realised the area code was for L.A. not Sunnydale. Maybe Buffy had died in Angels' arms, just as she'd always wanted. Angel was after all, the true love of Buffy's life.

Sighing realising he couldn't put it off any longer he picked up the phone and dialled Willow's number. The phone rang three times before it was picked up.

"Hello." Said a male voice.

"May I speak to Willow Rosenberg please." Riley asked trying to stay calm.

"Riley?"

"Xander?" Riley was shocked at hearing Xander's voice. He was prepared for Willow's but not Xander's. In the background he could hear Willow.

"Is that Riley?"

"Yeah." Xander said as he handed Willow the phone. Riley could hear them passing the phone back and forth between them, and he knew they were talking but he couldn't figure out what they were saying.

Then he heard her quiet voice.

"Riley?" It was if he'd been hit by lighting. Buffy was alive and on the other end of the line.

Part Three

"Riley," Buffy said quietly into the receiver. She held her breath hoping he wouldn't hang up on her. Instead she was met by silence, and then by what sounding like him crying. Suddenly it hit her like a Mack truck.

"Riley. Oh Riley… sweetheart it's okay. I'm okay." Hearing him cry broke her heart. In her wildest and scariest dreams, he never cried. Yell and scream, yes, but he never cried. Looking up she met Xander and Anya's concerned faces and Xander gave her a weak smile. Everyone knew how hard this was for her, and how important this call was.

"Buffy" He finally managed to say as he felt himself calm down enough to talk. She heard the tears still in his voice, and she so desperately want to hold him in her arms.

"Are you okay?" She asked him tentatively, afraid of his response.

"Shocked and relieved to hear your voice. I had this strange feeling Willow was calling to tell me you were dead." He took a deep breath trying to steady himself.

"In the back of my mind, I've always been afraid I'd get a call like that some day. But truthfully, I had expected it years ago. You're the slayer Buffy. Slayers don't live forever. You 're 29, you should have died years ago. How?"

Taking a slow deep breath of her own Buffy prepared herself to answer his question. She'd practised telling him this for days now, but upon hearing his voice, she couldn't find the right words. She wasn't sure how to answer his question, so she looked at Willow for help and support.

"Just tell him the truth." Willow mouthed to her, giving Buffy's hand a squeeze of reassurance.

Taking the only possible and mature way out, she decide Willow was right, the truth. She took another deep breath and jumped in with both feet.

"Riley I stopped being the Slayer about 6 months after you left. Seems Slayers loss their ability to continue to serve the PTB after they have a child. There's only 2 other documented cases recorded in Slayer…"

"You were pregnant?" Riley said interrupting her.

"Yes." She replied simply, finding all the strength she need in Willow's hand. Buffy waiting quietly for him to say something, anything! She felt like she was going to jump out of her skin when she finally heard him whisper something. She'd strained her ears and heard his quiet statement.

"It was mine, wasn't it." He wasn't asking a question, he was making a statement.

"Yes Riley, the baby was yours." She looked to Willow again for support and found it in her warm loving eyes. Buffy knew she could do this.

Riley felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, he suddenly found himself unable to breathe. He took a deep breathe and realised that he'd been holding it since she'd told him she'd been pregnant. He had a child with Buffy. A child that he didn't know about. A child who'd grown up without him! She'd never told him, she'd kept this from him. Slowly as his brain took all this in, he felt his temper start to flare.

"I have a child that you've kept form me." His voice boomed down the line, accusing her of the worst thing possible. He could feel his anger coursing through his veins, looking down he noticed that his shaking hands were clenched into fists of rage. Riley rarely lost his temper, but when he did, it was lethal.

Feeling Riley's wraith assault her, Buffy's head snapped back, making her glad she'd told him over the phone. His angry words assaulted her senses, and she felt tears rolling down her face. Sitting there she realised they were not tears of sorrow, but tears of anger.

"How dare you accuse me of not trying to tell you! I tried to … the day you left me, but you won't listen." She spit the words out at him incensed at his poor memory.

"For 6 months I begged Graham to tell me where you were. I wrote you letters, but every one came back addressed to sender. I tried Riley, but you wouldn't even try to listen!"

As her words filtered through his angry haze, he knew that they rang true. He'd closed himself off to her after he'd made his decision to leave her. Denying her anything was difficult for him, and if she'd started begging him to stay, he would have. He knew if he'd stopped to listen to her protests that day, he'd have broken down and stayed in a relationship with a woman who didn't love him.

Buffy tried to get a grip on her own angry feelings, this was not the way she'd pictured telling him. She held her breath as Riley sat in silence on the other end of the phone trying to grasp what she'd just accuses him of. She'd tried to contact him, to let him know of her pregnancy. She had tried for the last time when the baby was born, but again she'd been denied. Listening to his breathing relax a bit, she felt her own do the same. After 10 years it appeared that Riley's presence still had that affect on her.

"This isn't the way I wanted this to come out." Buffy declared sadly to him.

"No, I guess it isn't." Riley responded with a trace of bitterness clearly evident in his voice. Shaking his head he got up and looked out into the darkened backyard, through the trees he could make out the neighbour's Christmas lights. Pressing his head against the cool sliding glass door he waited for her to say something, anything.

"I so wanted you to be part of Evan's life, of our life." She confessed to him honestly.

Riley missed the last part of what she'd said, as he heard her tell him his son's name. Evan.

"I have a son?" he asked in awe. A son.

"Yes Riley, you have a son. Sean Evan Riley Summers, but he prefers Evan. I wanted him to have an Irish name in order to honour you. Angel helped me name him. Sean means God's Precious Gift. Evan means young warrior, because we almost lost him during delivery. Your son's a fighter Riley. And finally Riley, after you. You know your name means Valiant right? I felt it was important for him to have part of your name, since I couldn't give him your last name.

Riley felt anything but valiant as he listen to Buffy talk. He walked away from a pregnant Buffy, allowing her to go through this alone. Listening to Buffy's explanation of his son's name, he noticed that each name she'd given their son had a special meaning attached to it. She'd taken the time to not only remember his Irish ancestry, but that she'd given his son a mantel to carry through his life, 'precious gift from god'.

"He was born April 12, 2001. He'll be be 10 next April." Buffy smiled as she thought of her handsome son, whom bore a striking resemblance to his father. At 9 years of age, Evan was a double for Riley. He had his father's colouring, build and temperament. Buffy had a hard time believing that this wonderful child was hers. He was so very special, just like his father.

"I have more to tell you, but I don't think I can tell you over the phone. Can you fly out here? You need to hear this in person." Buffy tried to keep the begging sound from her voice. She looked across at her mother and Giles holding hands, and offering her what little encouragement they could.

"This weekend?"

Buffy's request caught him totally off guard. She wanted to talk to him face to face. Maybe met his son. Excitedly he started to say yes, but stopped when he thought about the girls.

"I... I can't Buffy. Sam, my nanny, she' off this weekend."

Buffy felt like she was losing control of the fine grip she had on herself.

"Can't your wife watch your daughters by her self for a weekend?" She was near hysterical when she thought of his lack of co-operation. She needed him now, his wife had him all the time. Angel had told her along time ago of Riley's marriage. It had destroyed her. To think he had married so quickly after he'd left her. Everyone hoped that with the news of Riley's moving on with his life, that she'd do the same. Instead, Buffy closed her heart off to all other men, and focused on her son and family.

Hearing her in near hysteria Riley held himself in check, it wouldn't pay to have them both so upset. Riley rarely talked about Claire's death with anyone besides Graham and his family. He knew he had to tell Buffy the truth, but he didn't want her pity or sympathy. Sitting down at the kitchen table her prepared himself to tell her.

"Claire died two years ago." Riley said swallowing the lump in his throat that always seemed to develop when he spoke these words.

Buffy heard the grief in his voice as he told her. She could picture him sitting there with his eyes closed, trying to keep himself under control. He'd always done that when he'd been upset. It was like he was counting internally to 10. She'd always envied his self-control.

"I'm so very sorry, Riley." Reminding herself to stake Angel later for not telling her.

"That's okay. You didn't know." He sighed playing with the phone's cord.

"Can we come there then?" Buffy was terrified he'd say no. He was her last chance, and she was panicking her time was running out of time.

Riley listened to her request and the panicked hopefulness in her voice. What did she have to tell him that was so important.

"Will you bring Evan?"

"Of course."

"Please. Come."

"Okay. I'll have Willow call you later with our travel arrangement for tomorrow."

"Sure Buffy." He replied quietly.

"Okay then. Till tomorrow."

"Till tomorrow then. Bye Buffy."

"Bye Riley." And as the line went dead she added in a whisper. "I love you."

Hanging up her own phone, Buffy could feel her heart racing. Just the sound of Riley's voice had set her off. In that 5 minute telephone conversation she'd felt alive for the first time in the last 10 years. All the emotions she had felt were real. She tried to come to come to grips with what had been said, but she couldn't. She was a huge jumble of feelings at the moment, and she couldn't figure out where to start. Instead she felt herself release the tears that she'd been holding back for so long.

Sitting next to her, Willow watched the emotions play out on Buffy's face. And for the first time in a very long time she saw the real Buffy emerge. The girl who had slipped away after Riley walked out of her life.

"What did he say?" Willow asked pulling Buffy into a hug.

"Too much." Was all Buffy could say. For the first time in years she saw a light at the end of her tunnel. Why had it taken the two of them so long to have this conversation?

"Will, could you call the airport and make arrangements for us to leave first thing in the morning? Then call Riley?"

"Sure, but I'm coming with the two of you. I'm not letting you do this alone."

Buffy smiled at her dear friends concern for her. If it hadn't been for her friends and mother, she'd never have survived the last 10 years.

"I feel like I'm going home Will. Home to Riley."

"Where you belong." Willow echoed rubbing her dear friends back.

Part Four

Riley sat in the silent kitchen by himself. He had a son.

The words kept echoing through his heart and head.

He had to admit, as much as he loved and cherished his daughters, he'd long to have a son. Someone to take care of his of his daughters when he wasn't around. Someone to shoot baskets in the driveway with. Someone to take fishing or do other guy things with. Instead the Powers That Be had blessed him with three beautiful daughters. True, he threw baskets with his oldest Jordan, but something was missing. Instead of talking about sports and cars, they talked about boys and her dance classes. Riley would not give these moments up, but he'd missed something being the man in the house.

Nowadays he not only was he the girls father, but their mother as well. He'd learned to braid hair and listen to Brittany Spears. He could even name all the Spice girls and Backstreet Boys. He knew the difference between a Barbie doll and a regular doll. He'd even read up on how to talk to his daughters about sex, though this was one conversation he was not looking forward to having with them. When he'd voiced his concerns to Graham, he'd been met with the offer to sell tickets that day. He loved his daughters, but now he had a son.

The phone rang breaking him from his thoughts. Reaching for the phone he expected to hear Willow's voice, but instead he was met with Graham's.

"Well? What happened?" Graham demanded.

Riley could hear the nervousness and anxiety in Graham's voice. Riley was touched to his core by his best friends concern for him.

"I have a son. A son, Graham." As he said this aloud he felt himself smile.

"You what!?!?!" Graham's voice exploded down the phone line.

"I have an 10 year old son named Sean Evan Riley Summers, but Buffy says he prefers Evan. They're coming here tomorrow."

"What the hell is she talking about!" Graham exploded again, as he paced around his hotel room. Suddenly the phone went flying out of his hand as he'd paced further than the cord would allow him to.

Riley heard the ruckus as the receiver went flying across the room. He smiled as he knew Graham would be pacing, he always did this when he was upset about something. Hell, he'd worn enough holes in their office carpet over the years.

As Graham picked up the phone he could hear Riley laughing at his expense. The phone flying across the room was not a new thing to Riley.

"Gray, man! You've got to stop pacing when you're on the phone, unless it's cordless. Your killing phones is starting to cost the company big bucks."

"How can you laugh at a time like this!" Roared Graham.

"I have an honest to God son Graham! A living breathing son! Be happy for me."

"She's probably read the piece on us Time magazine did and she's after her share of your millions."

"You think?" Riley suddenly stopped smiling and sat back down to think about what Graham had just said. It did make sense. Nothing for 10 years and then two weeks after the article she calls. Riley and Graham's company had made them millionaires several times over. Could Buffy actually be after child support?"

"Nah? She would have had me served with papers if that was the case. No Gray, you didn't hear her. That's not it." Riley tried to explain what had just happened with Buffy, but the words failed him.

"To be safe, I think you should call Bob and let him know the score. He could draw something up, just in case. Make her an offer to go away."

"Gray! This is my son were talking about here. I'm not calling a lawyer."

"Are you sure he's even yours."

"You're starting to sound like Forrest, when it comes to Buffy."

"I like Buffy, Riley. Right now, I'm more concerned about you and the girls. You're just back on your feet after Claire's death, I'm not prepared to let that Slayer come in here and blow it to peices."

" Look I know he's mine. The time frames fit perfectly. He was born April 12th."

"Call a lawyer."

"Not yet." Riley said sighing as he mulled over Graham's point. They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"What time does your flight get in again?" Riley suddenly had the need for his best friend to be by his side when he saw Buffy again and met his son.

"Noon tomorrow."

"Want the girls and me to pick you up. You know how the girls like the airport. Claire was positive, that with all the time she spent there with them dropping and picking us up, that the girls would end up flight attendants."

"Not my little beauties. I have plans for my nieces. No need to pick me up, I'm parked at the Park and Fly place. Besides, Tristan has a party tomorrow, and you need to drop her off. Something about the Ice Capades."

"How do you know?" Riley asked as he frowned in confusion, tonight was the first time he'd heard any of this.

"Because she'd answered the phone when I called this afternoon."

"Someone is in serious trouble." Riley said getting upset that his 4 year old was answering the phone again.

"Don't yell at her, Sam already smacked her hand. Believe me, Sam was none to happy with her answering the phone either."

"Good." Riley was happy to hear that Sam was enforcing his rules when he was not around. Sam was a definite good addition in his and the girls' lives. With Riley's line of work, he'd always worried about the girls safety and now he had Sam to take care of them when he wasn't there. Sam wasn't just any nanny, she'd been trained throught the company. It was Graham's gift to Riley.

"How'd Buffy sound?" Graham asked changing the subject cautiously. The topic of Buffy had been off limits for years, but now it seemed a fair question.

"The same, different. I don't know. Once she dropped the bomb shell in my lap I was pretty speechless and so was she. We didn't play catch up Gray!"

"Sorry man."

"No. I'm sorry for taking your head off. I just feel like my whole world had been shaken up like one of those snow globes." Riley sat at the table holding the phone against his shoulder pulling the label off the beer bottle.

"It has Riley." Graham replied to his friend simply.

"Yeah, I guess it has. Look, I'm tired, and I have a lot to think about. I'm gonna hang up now."

"Sure thing. I'll come over straight from the airport. Try and get some sleep Riley."

"See ya then Gray."

"Yeah, later Rye." And the line went dead.

Riley sat quietly looking at the phone and thanking God for Graham's presence in his and the girls' lives. In the last 10 years, Graham had been the only constant steady force in his life. He knew Graham loved him and the girls like family, and he'd do whatever was in his power to protect them. Riley often wished that Graham would settle down and find a nice woman. Gray had so much love to offer someone.

Sighing he dragged himself up out of the chair, and considered taking Graham's advice about getting some sleep. Walking across the kitchen he'd just turned the light out when the phone rang again. Turning the light back on, he walked back to the breakfast counter to pick up the phone.

"Look Graham, I'm going to bed. Done talking..."

"Riley?" and Riley stopped short as he heard Willow's soft voice.

"Willow? I'm sorry, I thought it was Graham again."

"Obviously." She said and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Look, I'm just calling with our flight arrangements for tomorrow."

"You're coming too?"

"Yeah." She stuttered at Riley's reaction to her coming.

"Good! I look forward to seeing you Will. I've missed you."

"Me too." She replied smiling into the phone. She'd missed Riley terrible in the beginning, but she got use to his being gone in time.

"We arrive on American, flight 625, from Los Angeles at 2:00."

"Okay, I'll see you at the airport then."

"Good."

"I look forward to seeing you again Willow."

"Me too. Bye Riley." And she hung up.

Part Five

Riley sat in Macdonald's watching the girls play in the jungle gym room. He'd planned on making them pancakes at home, but he was too keyed up to manage it. It was 9:00 in the morning, Buffy and his son would be arriving in four hours. He just had to stay busy, and keep his mind off of them. He felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. Taking a sip of the large coffee in front of him he watched as Tristan came down the slide waving at him, smiling he waved back at his youngest daughter. Hope was playing in the bouncing balls part, and seemed to be having a ball.

Yawning, Riley shook his head trying to keep his eyes focused on them. He hadn't slept at all the night before. There had been so much going on in his head, he couldn't turn it off. He'd spent the night wandering around his huge home. He sat for the longest time in the family room, which was lit by the Christmas tree he'd decorated with the girls and Sam last weekend. This was the family tree, there was also a huge one in the front room that they'd had professionally decorated, but this tree was his favourite. Each ornament had a special story attached to them. The first ornaments that Claire had bought for their first Christmas together. Each of the girl had their own "My First Christmas" ornament with their name and the year printed on it. There was also an ornament for Clancy, their Irish setter. Riley wondered if his son had his own ornament on a tree at home. Feeling suddenly depressed at the thought of all the Christmases he'd missed with Evan, he left the room to wander the house again.

He stopped in the hallway looking at the photo gallery he'd started when Jordan had first been born. Each of the girls' baby pictures adorned the wall, followed by other pictures. There were pictures taken with Santa Claus, school pictures, and shots of the girls in different vacation spots. Standing in the hallway he looked at each of them, trying to remember the moment he'd taken the picture. His eyes finally fell on the last picture of them as a family, it had been taken at Christmas a couple of years ago. He looked at the picture trying to remember how happy they'd all been. Jordan and Hope were both sitting on one of his knees, and Tristan was in Claire's lap. The family in this picture looked so happy, but 3 weeks later Claire was killed in a car accident.

He continued to wander through the house, stopping to check on the girls. Standing in the doorway of their room he marvelled at how innocent they looked when they were asleep. Somewhere after he'd turned off the light and closed the door, Tristan had climbed into bed with her older sister. When they'd moved into the six bedroom house each of the girls could have had their own room, but Hope and Tristan had demanded to share a room. Both girls were extremely close, if one cried so did the other. He wondered if Evan had any other brothers or sisters to share his secrets with.

Around 1:00 in the morning he found himself in the basement going through an old trunk full of his college memories. When he'd left Sunnydale, he'd wanted to burn it all, but Graham wouldn't let him. He'd encouraged him to put the trunk into storage, until the time came when Riley would be able to look at it. And today seemed to be that day.

So sitting on the basement floor he poured over the trunk's contents. Pictures, videos, momentos of his time at UC Sunnydale. He laughed at pictures of his frat brothers from Lowell, trying to remember names. Pictures that brought back memories of parties, pranks, and patrols. He found a whole stack pictures of him, Forrest and Graham. Looking at them he remember their reign on campus, they'd ruled! The girls would flock to them wherever they were, but during his grad year there he'd met Buffy. Meeting Buffy seemed to be the beginning of the end, when it came to his relationship with Forrest.

"Why couldn't you just accept her, Forrest?" he raged to the ceiling, hoping an answer would fall into his lap.

The picture he held in his hand showed the three of them with their arms thrown around each other, smiling crazily at the camera. They thought they were invincible. Ha! Every night they went out on patrol they felt that they were laughing in the face of the fates, daring them. Riley ran his finger over Forrest's face and smiled, maybe they'd tempted them once to many. Placing the picture aside he'd decided it was time for Forrest to come out of the trunk and into the light of day again. It was time to try and remember his friend as he was.

Continuing through the trunk his hand found what he'd been looking for in the first place. He pulled the picture frame out and turned it over, frowning at the damage. Looking back at him through the cracked glass was Buffy. She looked directly into the camera smiling slightly, it had been his favourite picture of her. Her hazel eyes seemed so green, her checks were flushed and her hair was spread out over his pillow. He'd taken the picture to show her how beautiful she looked after they'd made love. It was the way he always loved to remember her. Running his hand over her jaw line, he wondered if that was the night that Evan had been conceived.

He frowned again as he looked at the condition of the frame, proof of his temper. After they'd broken up, he'd thrown the frame and all of her other pictures into the garbage can. Hearing her calling his name, begging for him to look at her tore him apart. When he'd gotten back to his apartment, after stopping to drown his sorrows, he'd thrown out all signs of her existence in his life, and then curled up on his bed and cried. An hour later he'd dug the broken frame out of the garbage, deciding that keeping just this one picture wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Daddy," Hope said, pulling on his sleeve.

"Yeah, sweetheart?" he said, pulling back his chair so she could climb up on his lap. Riley had always loved the affectionate nature of his relationship with his daughters. They were always climbing onto his lap or hanging off of him, and it seemed that since Claire's death this contact had become important to them.

"You okay?" she asked looking at him from under her lowered eyelids.

"Sure am, pumpkin. Daddy just didn't sleep too great last night, that's all."

She looked at him for a second, as if she'd been trying to make up her mind if he'd been telling her the truth. He was lucky it was Hope checking him out, not Jordan, who it seemed had the ability to read his mind.

"We should go soon, we have to pick Jordy up at Amanda's. Look what time it is." She held up her little arm to show him her Mickey Mouse watch. He smiled at the serious look on her face, she was trying to be so grown up. Riley would have placed odds on the fact that Sam had asked Hoped to make sure that he wasn’t late getting Jordan to her dance class. Jordan hated being late for anything, she must have inherited that from him, because Claire had been notoriously late for everything.

"You’re right. Go round up your sister, and don't use your bossy voice. Understood missy?"

Hope just looked up at him with her big green eyes and shook her head full of auburn curls. She looked so much like Claire it was hard sometimes to watch her. Not only did she look like Claire, but she had her mannerisms down as well. Watching her was like watching a mini version of Claire. Instead of going to get her sister, she just sat still on his lap not moving, just holding his hand in her little one.

"Anything you want to tell me about?" he asked, realising something was on her mind.

"If Jordy's going to dance class, and Tristan's going to a party, what can I do?" she asked, twisting his wedding band around on his finger. It was a weird habit that she had started as a toddler. Whenever she was upset or scared, Hope would twist on Riley's wedding ring.

"What! You don’t want to spend time with me?" he asked, pretending to be shocked at the idea. His daughter turned her big green eyes on him and shook her head no.

"Just you and me!" She stopped twisting Riley's ring and looked up into his eyes.

"Yup, just you and me kiddo. I thought we'd go to Quincy Market, I knew how much you like that. What do you think?"

"Cool!" And with that she jumped down off his lap and ran to get her younger sister.

Riley would pick Jordan up at the Carmichael's, and drop her off at her dance class for 10:00. God, he hoped that dark haired dance teacher wasn't there. She kept hitting on him and it was getting hard to keep putting her off. Maybe he should give her Gray's number. Then he would drive Tristan to the Weston's for 10:30. Seems the Westons' were taking the girls to see the Ice Capades. Jordan's dance class would be over at 12:00, so that would give him an hour and a half to spend with Hope alone. He'd decide they'd drive to Quincy Market and do some shopping. He knew how much Hope loved the Christmas hustle and bustle of the market place, and he could stock up for the weekend. Also he had to speak with Tom about ordering the lobster for the staff Christmas party next week. He needed to stop at the bakery and pick up Jordan's favourite blueberry bagels. He wondered what his son loved to eat. As long as they were home by 12:30 to meet Graham, they'd be fine. He was glad his day was busy, it would keep his mind off Evan and Buffy's pending visit.

"Come here Tristan and get your coat on, we’re leaving." Riley held the coat out for his daughter to slip her arms into.

"Do reindeers skate, Daddy?"

"Why?" he asked bending over to zip the coat up.

"Just wondering."

Riley watched her face, and he could see the wheels turning in her little mind. Tristan was definitely the devil child. All those times his mother had wished a devil child on him, had come back to haunt him every time he saw that look in her eyes. Tristan wasn't bad, just curious.

"You excited about the party?"

"Yes, I am. Don't tie my hood up too tight Daddy, you'll mess my hair." Riley threw back his head and laughed, already at 4 years old she was worrying about her hair.

"You know what I told you about using your manners and listening to Mr. and Mrs. Weston. Right? Remember Santa Claus is watching."

"I know." Riley had bent over to tie her bootlace up, and he could feel her ideally playing with his hair.

"Daddy? Can Santa watch us in the bathroom? Because I don't think I'd like him watching me." Riley just shook his head, wondering where she came up with her questions.

"Let’s go girls, out to the car."

"Do up your coat, Daddy."

"Yes, Hope."

"Daddy?" As Riley heard Tristan say his name he knew she was up to something.

"Yes, Trist?"

"Are we still going to see Santa tomorrow?"

"We'll see, why?" He hoped she wasn't going to ask Santa about the whole seeing you when you go to the bathroom thing.

"I want to tell him what I want for Christmas." She said as swung his hand back and forth.

"I thought you told him in the letter you wrote to Santa with Sam."

"I did, but I forgot to add something."

"And what was that."

"I want a brother." Riley was startled by her request, and he stopped and looked down into her earnest face.

"You sure?"

"Yup." And he held the door open he ushered his daughters out to the family Land Rover, wondering how he'd been so lucky to have these creatures in his life.

Part Six

Buffy sat in the first class section of the plane lost in her own thoughts. It paid to have a best friend who was an Academy Award winning actress, people jumped through rings to please you. The Flight Attendants kept coming over to make sure they were comfortable, but she'd wish that they leave her alone. Since she'd spoken with Riley she'd been trying to figure out how she was going to tell him her news. Looking across the aisle she watched Evan and Willow play Crazy 8's. The two were laughing about something, and Buffy ideally wondered what it was. Willow swatted his hand as he reached for a card out of turn.

"Hey buster, it's my turn." She said as he flashed her a sheepish grin.

"Sorry."

"You cheat like your Uncle Xander. Badly!." Willow said recalling her childhood best friend's veiled attempts at cheating.

"Who do you think taught me." Laughed the handsome little boy beside her.

"Buffy! I can't believe you've let Zander teach him how to play cards!"

"Was either him or Spike, and I thought at the time Zander was a better choice."

"I see your point." Snorted Willow returning her attention to her partner.

"Hey! Did you steal a card when my back was turned!" Willow said pretending to fume at her nephew. Buffy watched amused for a minute as Willow play with her son, before returning to the brief she was preparing for court Thursday.

"Excuse me? Is that Willow Rosenberg, the actress." Buffy turned to meet the older lady's questioning glance that was sitting beside her.

"Yes it is."

"Do you think she'd mind if I asked her later for autograph, I'm a huge fan."

"Sure, when we get off the plane, I'll ask her for you."

The lady looked back across the aisle.

"Your son is very handsome, you must be proud of him." Smiled the lady.

"Yes I am. He's the light of my life." Buffy proudly boasted.

"I know how you feel. I have four boys of my own. My husband Harold and I had 4 sons. We were so proud of them we could've have burst. You know mothers and sons have a special bond, that you'll never loss." Said the older woman as she patted Buffy hand.

"That's so nice. Are you going to visit one of them now?"

"Yes. My boys have given me this trip as a Christmas gift. Three of my boys bought me the ticket so I can visit my son David for the first time in 3 years. I moved in with my son Steven and his wife after my husband died."

Buffy smiled at the old lady, not wanting to appear rude, but not wanting to hear her life story either. She had her own problems to think about. What was she going to do when she saw him face to face? How was she going to tell him. Yet the lady kept on talking.

"So where's your husband dear?"

Instead she took a deep breath and gave the old lady the same answer that she'd given to strangers and Evan's teachers since his birth.

"I'm not married. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to raise my son on my own. His father was out my life, and I didn't feel I owned it to him to let him back in."

"Oh." The lady said returning her attention back to the Good Housing Keeping Magazine she'd been reading.

Buffy sighed and went back to the file setting on her tray. She was suppose to be in court on Thursday, but if things looked promising , Lindsay had told her to stay in Boston with Riley, and he'd appear on her behalf in court. Since leaving Wolfman and Hart, Lindsay had become a integral part of the Scooby gang and a good friend to Buffy. He'd been the one who had held her hand through law school. Actually to be more accurate he held Evan while he quizzed Buffy in Contract law. Since she'd been called to the California Bar, Lindsay and she had opened their own firm, and their reputation had proceeded them. The ex-slayer and the ex-golden boy from Wolfman and Hart, had formed a formidable partnership, that would leave demons shaking in their boots. Even though Buffy had given up her slayer ways, she could still pack a mean punch in the courtroom.

Looking back over at the lady who sat beside her, she frowned. She'd basically told the woman the truth, sure she'd left out a lot, but it was the truth. When the doctor had first confirmed her suspicion that she was 2 months pregnant she'd been so excited, she couldn't wait to share the news with Riley. She'd never dreamed that she could become pregnant, not with everything her body had been through. The thought of having a child with Riley was a fantasy come true for her. She'd dreamed about sharing a life with Riley and their children, but with her birth-right it just seemed impossible. So you could have knocked her over with a feather when Dr. Hasting told her. She floated around for days trying to find the right way to tell Riley, but the longer she waited, the doubts set in.

Doubts. How could she do this to Riley! Complicating his life by adding a child, they were too young for that. She'd wanted to finish college first, that's if she lived long enough to do so. Then there was the whole death thing. Who was she to make a decision for the two of them in regards to Riley's life. The odds that he'd end up a Widower raising a infant were good, and it was unfair to saddle him with this responsibility. So she'd finally decided to have the abortion.

The abortion was another story. She'd made the decision to have it done, and keep this little secret to herself. She knew if she'd told Riley he'd want her to keep the baby and marry him, being that he was Mr. Obligation. Yet she didn't want him to ask her, she didn't want him to think he had to marry her out of duty, if they married it should be out of love. Over her dead body would she or her child become an obligation to him. Also there was no way Riley could leave his catholic conscious behind. From previous discussions they'd had, she knew Riley didn't believe in the pro-choice thing, an abortion would be out of the question. The day she showed up for the procedure, as the nurse called it, she knew she couldn't do it. The thought of terminating a child that could have Riley's blue eyes saddened her. So she turned around and walked out of the clinic.

The only problem with this soul search was her distancing herself from Riley. She wouldn't let him touch her, she'd always find an excuse to slip out of his arms or to go home. The thought of him touching her, when she was still trying to decide the future of their own unborn child sickened her. Looking into his eyes while trying to make this huge decision on her own was so hard to do. She was making a decision that would affect both their lives forever. Buffy never realised until much later why she'd had a hard time making this decision. The decision had been hard because she'd choose to make it alone. She'd made it without Riley, the other interested party in this matter. Yet the more confused she got, the harder she pushed Riley away. Unfortunately she pushed so hard that he left her.

The day he walked out of her life was etched in her mind forever. It was a cold winter day in California and the sun hadn't shown itself for a week. Buffy didn't mind the weather at the time, because it seemed to suit her mood. Curled up in her dorm room she'd been waiting for him. He'd called and asked if she was free to talk. Did he know she was pregnant? After she'd hung up the phone she curled up in her blanket and waited for judgement day to arrive. He would help her straighten out her thoughts, he'd help her make the decision. Unfortunately that wasn't what he'd wanted.

Riley was standing in the doorway when she'd opened the door. The usual sweet smile was gone, and he seemed really fidgety. Buffy knew it was bad when he walked in without kissing her. He walked across the room and sat on her bed staring at the floor between his feet. She hadn't been prepared for the words out of his mouth.

"I've decided to go join Graham and the agency. I can't take the way things are between us anymore. I know you don't love me. I use to think I had enough love for both of us, but I was wrong. I can't continue to watch you slip away from me. And I can't stand around feeling useless anymore. God, Buffy I use to be a man with a mission, now it seems I'm an extra in Mission Impossible. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel."

Buffy stood by the door still, shocked by one statement he'd made. "I know you don't love me." How could he think that she didn't love him. Every decision she was trying to make was because she loved and respected him. She didn't want to chain him to a woman whose life expectancy could be shorter than the time it would take to toilet train this child she was carrying.

"I've handed in my resignation here at the university and my notice to the landlord. Graham's meeting me tomorrow, and we leave for Virginia. I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore."

Buffy could see the tears in his eyes, and knew that this was hard for him. She also knew that there was no way in hell she would let him leave this room, until her heard her out. They were having a child together! Everything that he'd just said seemed to race through her mind along with her own thoughts. How was she going to pull them together to make a coherent thought. She wanted to sound intelligent and mature, but what came screaming out of her mouth only sounded shrilled and hysterical.

"No! You can't leave me! I won't let you Riley Finn. I'm not done with you!" There she'd said it, I'm not done with you. How selfish could she have possible have sounded. Riley just looked up at her and shook his head in disgust.

"It's all about you and your damn birth-.right isn't it! I'm just a cog in the wheel around here, as long as I'm here to do Buffy's bidding. Well, no more! Grow up Buffy! You're not the only person in this relationship. Oh wait a minute! You are! Cause I'm out of here!" Riley was at the door with his hand on the knob as he bitterly laughed out the last words.

"Riley, please listen to me! I need you in my life. Only you understand me." Tears were pouring down her face, and she so desperately wanted him to turn around to say he was sorry and pull her into his loving arms. Yet by now he had the door open. She reached for his arm and he pulled it away.

"Look at me Riley! Please. We need to sort this out!" "Sorry Buffy I can't. I love you." And he walked out of her life forever, closing the door behind him.

The letter arrived 2 days later, it was simple and straight forward. All it said was "Buffy I love you, and I always will. I will never forget you and what you meant to me. Please forgive me. Love Riley." She sat there for days holding the letter in a death grip crying. She could not be consoled, for her pain was raw and torn into the core of her soul. She couldn't accept the fact that Riley had walked out of her life, because she didn't love him. There had to be another reason, she loved Riley Finn. Okay, maybe she didn't say it often enough, but she'd told him! Then a little voice in her heart spoke to her and she knew the truth,she'd never told him she'd loved him, not even once! What had she done!

She tried contacting him through Graham, but that had been useless. Graham had told her that Riley didn't want to speak with her, and he wasn't' prepared to go against Riley's wishes. She begged him to let her speak with Riley, but he told her to let it go, it was over. Hearing her cry, Graham had told her how sorry he was that they had broken up. It broke his heart to see his friends in such pain, because he really believed they had what it took to make it work. He'd always tell her to take care of herself and that she'd be in his thoughts. Most of the phone calls she had with Graham had basically been the same until the last one, after the baby's birth. He'd told her Riley was better off without her, and to move on like he had. Then he abruptly hung up the phone, leaving her alone to get the message.

The day Evan had been born, had been the best and worst day in her life. Hearing Graham so plainly tell her that Riley had moved on, had torn her heart into a million pieces. She knew the only love her heart had had left to give was to her son, family, and friends. She would never love anyone else in a romantic, stop your heart way that she'd loved Riley. So she put a wall around the huge hole and walked forward into the world, her son by her side.

Her family and friends stood by her side helping her raise the world most beautiful baby into the world's most special little boy. Evan was spoiled rotten by the people that loved him. While she was at school, her mother, Giles and Spike would take turns watching him. At night while she was at the library or patrolling with the new slayer Zander Anya and Willow took their turns.

A year and a half after their break up she heard from Angel that Riley had married some girl name Claire that he'd met while living in Virginia. Seemed that on the outside the two would live a normal happy life, but Buffy wondered if Claire knew about what went bump in the night. She'd been so tempted to go to Virginia and burst little Claire's world apart with her baby son. She wanted her true love back, Claire had no idea who she'd married, only Buffy knew the real Riley Finn.

Entering law school saw her move to L.A., and she entered a new phase in her life. Moving away from the poor broken hearted image of her former self, she became a woman on a mission. She attacked her law studies with the same zeal that she would slaying. Now her son's life would include Cordelia, Lindsay, Wesley, Gunn and Angel. And of course the ever present Willow. Yet ever night she tucked her son into bed she was reminded of the man she'd lost. She was reminded that her heart had stopped beating the day he'd walked out the door. And she'd pray to God, that one day she'd find Riley again.

She knew that Angel still loved her, but she could no long begin to open her heart up, even to him. She could not risk being hurt again. They instead developed a close relationship, and he swore to protect her and her son until the end of time. Buffy knew that Angel cursed Riley's name all the time, but she also knew that Angel understood why Riley had left. She knew that loving her was never easy.

Now 10 years later she was about to face Riley for the first time since he'd left her. In her heart she knew Riley would not deny his son, but she wasn't sure how he'd except her back in his life. Buffy looked across the aisle again at her son, currently asleep in Willow's arms. His cheeks were flushed, but she knew the flush was from the excitement of meeting his father for the first time.

Buffy had decided early on in Evan's life to be truthful about his father. She'd decide it would be hard to lie to her son and keep her stories straight. So against her family's wishes, she told her son the truth about her and his father's relationship. He'd been 7 years old when they'd had the conversation. She'd told him that sometimes we think our actions will be enough to keep the people in our lives happy and loved. And that's what she had thought, but his daddy had needed more, unfortunately she hadn't realised it at the time. He'd walked away from her and had gone on to live his life with people who told him they loved him. Evan looked up at Buffy and simply said.

"I could have loved him enough mommy. Why didn't he let me?"

"Because I wouldn't let him. I tried to reach him sweetheart, but I'd hurt him too much to every let me near his heart again. So in time I gave up on him. Do you understand what I'm saying."

"I think so. He went away because you hurt him, because you didn't love him?"

"That's what he thought baby, that I didn't love him, but I did, I just didn't know how to show it." Buffy's tears were flowing freely by this point of the conversation.

"Every day I am now reminded of that mistake when I look at you. You look just like him you know. I have a picture, would you like to see it." Evan just nodded, and Buffy handed him the framed picture. She sat watching her son taking in every aspect of his father's face.

"We have the same blue eyes." He said in awe.

"Yes you do."

"Can I meet him someday."

"Maybe, when you're older."

"Thank you." He said hugging his mother.

"Why?" Buffy asked not understanding her son's thank you.

"Because every day you love me enough to tell me." Now every day she told him that she loved him, even if it embarrassed him beyond belief.

Each night as Evan went off to bed, he'd wrap his arms around his mothers neck and he'd say a simple "Thank you Mom."

Part Seven

Graham sat watching Riley pace back and forth in front of the terminal glass at gate 12. Sitting in the chairs opposite Riley, Graham tried to will himself to relax. All his life he'd been a pacer, and right now he wanted to join Riley, but he figured the sight of two huge white man stalking around the terminal might warrant Security's attention. With their luck they'd get hauled in for questioning or something. Buffy's flight was due to land any minute, and from the looks of Riley the sooner the better. He had that deer in the headlight look, or that any moment he might bolt for the door.

Riley turned around and started pacing back the opposite direction towards Graham. Really looking at his friend for the first time since his return from Colombia, Riley noticed dark circles under Graham's eyes. A closer look notice how jittery he was, and the 3rd cup of coffee he'd just finished wasn't helping matters.

"You haven't slept. Have you?" Riley said stopping directly in front of Graham.

Looking up at him from under lowered lashes he smirked.

"That obvious huh?" Graham laughed shakily running his hand though his hair.

"Duh? Yeah."

Graham smiled slightly at his friend's response. The man had to start dating soon, he was spending way too much time with the kids. Maybe this visit would be a jumping off point.

"So are you going to tell me why?" Riley asked dropping down in the chair next to Graham.

Fiddling with his empty coffee cup, Graham stared at the floor in front of him. After the day he'd had yesterday it was no wonder he hadn't been able to sleep. First there was the assassination attempt on the Colombian President, which took place right under his nose. Losing a man on such a mission always made sleeping difficult. Lastly there had been Riley's phone call. He'd tried to sleep but his conscience got the best of him. He berated himself for being so hard on Riley, and playing the devils advocate. Of course there was no chance that Buffy's son was anyone's, but Riley's. Maybe it was true what Riley had said, maybe he was becoming just like Forrest. Remembering his own part in this relationship fiasco had been what had kept him awake.

"Guess my guilty conscience kept me awake last night."

"What are you talking about?" Riley asked turning sideways in his seat to get a better view of Graham's face as he spoke.

"It's my fault. I kept you away from your son. I should have given her your phone number, or forced you to talk to her!"

"Gray, you only did what I asked you to do. I made the decision to leave Buffy on my own. I was the one who asked you to run interference for me with her. It was me. You were just being the loyal friend I knew you'd be. I knew you'd protect me from her, and that was wrong of me to have asked you that. I see that now."

Riley knew that what he was saying was the truth. Yet there was this little part of him that did blame Graham. Why did he have to be such a good friend? Why couldn't he have listened to her! No he wouldn't because he'd done what Riley had asked him to do. Hell Graham had asked him to speak to Buffy for him, to call her. Yet Riley had refused, telling his friend to mind his own business. Graham couldn't take listening to Buffy's pain anymore, so the next day after her last call he'd had their number changed to an unlisted one.

"Christ Riley! She was my friend too. I feel like I've let her down. Why didn't she tell me, I would have made you talk to her, if I'd known." He finished quietly.

"I don't know Graham, guess you can ask her." Riley said indicating with a nod of his head to the plane that was docking against the terminal.

"You ready for this?" Graham asked getting to his feet.

"Not sure." Riley replied watching as the ground crew, propped open the arrivals door.

"By the way, to change the topic. Did I tell you what your favourite niece asked me for Christmas this morning?"

"Ah Trist-tie! What has she asked for now?'' he said, smiling as he remembered his mischievous little niece.

"You'll never guess. A brother." Riley chuckled.

"Out of the mouth of babes. Hey, you thought Jordan was the psychic."

"Really."

_________________________________________________ Buffy looked over at Willow as she felt the plane come to a complete stop next to the terminal. Her stomach was doing backhand springs and she felt slightly nauseous. Willow gave her hand a reassuring squeeze across the aisle.

"Let's wait till everyone’s off before we move. I don't think today is the type of day that we want my appearance to cause a scene or anything," Willow said knowing what her appearance in an airport could cause. Buffy merely nodded having had several first-hand experiences with Willow’s more exuberant fans. Regardless how famous Willow became she was still the same shy, insecure girl that Buffy had always known. Willow hated the crush of the crowds, and always had the studio hire Angel as her personal bodyguard for premiers and such. Fame did have its price tag.

"Ms. Rosenberg?" the flight attendant said, bending down so that she could have a private conversation with the actress. "We will have a representative at the gate to help you and your party up to the VIP holding area while your luggage is seen to. We suggest that you stay seated until we have completely off loaded all the other passengers."

"Thank you Carol, but please let them know we wouldn't need the reps services. We have a friend meeting us. However we will wait for the other passengers to leave the plane."

"You're welcome, Ms. Rosenberg. I know I speak for the rest of the flight crew when I say it was a pleasure having you and Evan fly with us today." And Carol had meant it. Willow Rosenberg was a gem to have as a passenger. She was as sweet as she'd appeared to be on Oprah. She couldn't wait to tell her husband. And her nephew was adorable, it was too bad his mother seemed so sad, though.

"Bye Carol. And thank you for my wings." Evan said waving at the attendant with his wings.

"Goodbye, Evan."

"You ready to do this?" Willow asked Buffy, totally unaware that Graham had just asked Riley the very same question.

"I don't think I have much of a choice now do I? I can't sneak past him," she whined looking over at her son who was bouncing in his seat.

"No. But we could always stay on the plane. Pay them to tell him we missed the flight or something?" Willow said with a conspirators wink in Evan's direction.

"You really think you're funny don't you? Good thing you don't do comedy."

"I did until like 2 seconds ago," cracked Willow.

"Ready to go meet your dad, Tiger?" Willow said, turning to give her nephew a hug.

"I've been ready to meet him for the last nine years. I just hope he'll like me." Hearing her son say this Buffy was across the aisle in a flash taking her son in her arms. She was so caught up in her own head about meeting Riley, that it hadn't even entered her mind that Evan may be nervous.

"He's going to love you sweetheart. He's your dad."

__________________________________________________________ Up in the terminal the guys waited as the other passengers filed passed them. Graham kept looking from the crowd then to Riley in order to make sure he was still standing upright. It wasn't everyday a guy gets to meet his son that until last night he knew nothing about.

"Where are they?" Graham asked as he scanned the passing passengers.

"Probably have to wait for everyone to get off. VIP Security measures," Riley mumbled, not taking his eyes off the tunnel.

"VIP Security measures? Is there something you have forgotten to tell me, Finn?" Graham asked, feeling a sick feeling coming over him.

"Oops! I guess with all the stuff that's happening I forgot to tell you that Willow's coming with Buffy and Evan," Riley replied, taking a step away from Graham in case he decided on doing some bodily damage.

"Willow's coming with Buffy, and it totally slipped your mind," Graham said shaking his head at his friend.

"Yup. Sorry man, but I figured if I'd told you last night you would have found an excuse to have stayed in Columbia. And don't try and argue the point with me Gray, I know how your mind works."

"You're a bastard. Have I told you that recently?" Graham said taking a deep breath.

"I think so," Riley said smiling, enjoying his friends discomfort.

As he turned around to face the tunnel, he saw three shadows walking up it together. Even in the distance he knew it was them. He felt his palms start to sweat and his knees grow weak

"Hold on Rye. Just breathe," Graham whispered into his ear.

"I can do this." Riley closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. When he opened them Buffy was standing about 10 feet from him.

They stood looking at each other for a few seconds, as the rest of the world fell away.

Finally realising that one of them had to do something she smiled at him.

"Hello, Riley.''

It was like he couldn't help himself or he was possessed or something, because he felt his legs carry himself across the room and pull her into his arms for a hug.

"Hello, Buffy," he said into her ear. Pulling back he looked down into her hazel eyes and smiled.

"Long time no see."

He berated himself for sounding so stupid.

"I know," she said, turning her 100 watt smile at him. Over his shoulder she saw Graham trying to blend into the woodwork it seemed. Pulling away from Riley she crossed the ground that separated her and Graham. Reaching him she pulled him into her arms and held him close.

"Hello, Graham."

"Hello, Buffy," he said, feeling all the tension he'd been walking around with leave his body. He would never have admitted it to anyone but Riley, but he'd been frightened about being here to meet her. He'd been afraid that Buffy blamed him for the whole thing.

"It's okay, I don't blame you. You were just being yourself." Here they stood in the airport having one of the most important conversations in either one of their lives.

Evan stood watching his mother greet both the men before him, but his attention was drawn to the tall blonde man that was obviously his father. The man had his back to him, watching his mother greet the other man. Evan looked up at his Aunt Willow and saw that she had tears in her pretty green eyes. Letting go of her hand he stepped up behind the blonde man.

"Excuse me, sir."

Riley turned around and looked down at the blonde haired boy that stood before him with his hand extended. Like with the birth of each of his girls, he fell instantly in love with his son. Staring into a pair of blue eyes that matched his own, Riley tried to remember every second of this meeting.

"My name is Sean Evan Riley Summers. I think you're my dad."

Taking the young man's hand in his trembling one, Riley tried to smile through his own tears.

"Yes, I am your dad, Evan."

The other grown ups stood watching as the young boy and his father stood holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes. You could have heard a pin drop if it hadn't been for the sniffles. There wasn't a dry eye in the terminal.

"You really do look like me," Evan said in awe, looking up at Riley.

"You’re right, I do." Riley smiled, wanting desperately to hold his son in his arms, but afraid the suddenness of the move would frighten Evan. Instead he was happy to go on holding his hand. He must have been swaying or something, because he felt Graham place his hand on Riley's arm and guide him to the chair behind him. Evan turned to look at the man behind his father. Letting go of Riley's hand he held his own out again to Graham.

Graham squatted down in front of Evan and put his own hand out, looking the Evan in the eye.

"Hello. My name's Sean Evan Riley Summers."

"Graham Miller at your service, sir." Evan looked at the large man and smiled back at him. He decided that he liked the man, since no one had ever bent down to talk to him eye to eye.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Miller."

"How about you call me Uncle Graham?"

"I think I'd like that." Evan smiled then turned back to his father and sat down next to him.

Riley was an absolute mess. Tears rolled freely down his face and he could only pull his eyes away from his son long enough to smile at Buffy. He knew his legs were still shaking slightly and his heart was pounding through his chest.

Buffy stood watching her son and his father meet for the first time. She was moved to tears as she watched her son hold his father's large hand and she wanted to throw her head back and scream out to the world in happiness. Looking over at Willow she saw her own happiness mirrored there. She watched as Willow watched Evan greet Graham, and saw the twinkle appear in Willow's beautiful green eyes. Buffy had always known that Willow cared about Graham, and seeing her reaction to Graham only confirmed it.

"Willow," Buffy said trying to draw her into the circle.

Hearing Willow's name, both men turned towards the red head, who until now had stood forgotten in the tunnel’s shadow. Riley stood up to his full height and walked over to Willow. He stood in front of her for a second to take in her beauty and then he pulled her into a hug.

"It's so good to see you, Willow," he whispered into her ear. Over the years there were so many times that he'd been tempted to pick up the phone and call her, but he'd always stopped himself. Now having her in his arms he couldn't help but smile.

"You too, Riley," she said, smiling into his neck.

Letting her go so she could straighten her clothing, Riley looked over at Graham. He saw the same look of adoration on Graham's face in the past. Smitten is the word that his grandmother would have used.

"Hello, Willow," he said, walking over to take the carry-on off her shoulder.

"Hi yourself, Graham," Willow replied, blushing prettily under his gaze.

"Hey buddy, why don't we go find the luggage, and let your dad and mom catch up?" Graham said, putting his hand out to Evan.

"Okay," he said, placing his hand in Graham's, and as they turned to walk away with Willow they heard Evan say, "Is it true you and my dad were Marines?"

Buffy stood staring at Riley feeling very awkward. Was she expected to jump right in and tell him the reason for the trip, or do they get to know each other again? Though she didn't have to because Riley broke the silence.

"He's beautiful, Buffy," he said, looking down at her.

"I know. He looks just like you. Are all your children as beautiful?" she said, smiling up at him through her tears.

"I think so. I can definitely see you in him," he said, watching his son and friends walk ahead of them.

"No. He's all you. Anyone who knows you agrees."

"Maybe. I can see his sisters in him. Wait till you meet them."

Without realising it, he took her hand in his and kept walking and talking. Buffy briefly looked down at their entwined fingers and smiled.

Part Eight

They walked down the terminal together holding hands neither mentioning it, but they both kept sneaking peeks at their entwined fingers. How could 10 year disappear with one touch? Riley noticed the looks men were giving Buffy, and it wasn't hard to understand why, she looked amazing. She was dressed very simply, a black pair of ants and a red turtleneck, but it was the way they hugged her curves. That was the work of art! Her hair was swept up into a loose bun,and he knew from past experience, that pulling one bobby pin would send it cascading down through his fingers.

"So if you and Graham could take us to the hotel, we'll get directions and meet you at your house later." Buffy said, dreading the idea of his being out of her sight for even a second.

"I thought maybe you could stay at the house," he said crossing his fingers and hoping she'd say yes. When she didn't say anything, he continued his argument to persuade her to stay with him. Now that she was back he didn't want to let her or his son slip through his fingers so quickly.

"I mean this is about me getting to know my son after all. And how can I get to know Evan if you're staying half way across town. The house is huge, so there's plenty of room if you want to get away from me. But Buffy, I need this time with Evan." In his heart he had included her as well in the last sentence.

"Okay, I'd like that too. I mean it's important for the two of you to spend as much time as possible together." She said recovering quickly from her slip up. She didn't want him to think she was here just for him. Part of her was, but the biggest part was here because of her son.

"That's settled then." He said smiling triumphantly, glad she'd been so easy to convince.

"Looks like my son has made a new best friend, even before he's gotten to know me." Riley could tell, even from behind, that Evan was hanging on Graham's every word.

"Knowing him like I do, he's probably questioning Graham about you. He's been doing this to everyone since he found out about you when he was 7. The only people I don't let him talk to are Spike and Angel. Seems neither of them have very fond memories of you."

"Ah yes! Spike and Angel. How are they? Still dead I hope." Riley said recalling the vampires that were part of Buffy's life. Then it dawned on him, from what Buffy said, they were still part of her life. And that meant part of his son's life too.

"You let Angel and Spike around Evan?" he asked feeling the panic and anger rise up in him.

"Relax! They're great with Evan! They totally respect the boundaries I've set, I don't let them bad mouth you in front of him, and their not allowed to get all Grr in front of him. When I was in law school Spike used to come down all the time just to baby sit for me. Could you ever picture Spike babysitting? Turns out he loves kids. Even Anya and Xander let him baby-sit for them. Evan loves them both, and I think he's been good for them. I have no fear of leaving Evan with either of them, because I know Angel and Spike would lay their undead lives on the line for him. Just like Graham would lay his life down for your daughters. Seems your children have a way of stealing peoples' hearts." Buffy said rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. It felt so good being close to him.

"You went to law school?" he asked proud and awed at the fact that she'd managed to go to school and raise his son.

"Not without a lot of help from my mom, Giles, Willow, Angel and Lindsay." Buffy smiled because she could hear how proud he was of her in his voice.

"Who's Lindsay?" He asked

"My partner in the law firm."

"She was helpful then?"

"No, he was helpful." Buffy said, correcting him.

"Lindsay's a he." Riley said, feeling a dislike for a man he hadn't met grow.

Buffy nodded her head in response as they joined the others at the luggage carousel. She could almost sense a note of jealousy in Riley's voice, but that would be too much to hope for.

"Riley has invited us to stay with him. What do you think Evan? Willow?" Buffy said, looking her son directly in the eye trying to judge his reaction. She didn't have to analysis it do deeply as he reached up and took Riley's hand in his.

"Well looks like I better find a phone to cancel the hotel reservations. Damn cellphones don't work in these airports," Willow said trying to find a phone in the area.

"We could go down to the VIP First Class lounge, there's phones there," Graham offered his out stretched arm to her.

"Sure."

Turning to Buffy, Willow said, "We'll be right back."

Willow hooked her hand under Graham's arm and they went off in search of a phone. Riley and Buffy both looked at each other and laughed.

"Seems like old times again. Hopefully he won't go running off scared again," Riley said smirking at his friend's retreating back.

"Yeah. Willow could use a good man like you or Graham in her life." Buffy said frowning as she thought about how she could use Riley in her own life.

"Riley?" Evan said pulling his attention away from his friends departing backs

"Yes, Evan?" He said, dropping down to sit on the floor beside his son.

"What am I supposed to call you?"

"Whatever you want. Riley or Graham calls me Rye," he wanted to say dad, but he was afraid it was too early for that.

"Can I call you dad?" Evan asked looking at his father through his lowered lashes.

"I'd really like that Evan, Riley told him, reaching over and doing something he'd wanted to do since his son had gotten off the plane. He hugged the boy.

Buffy stood watching the two of them sitting on the floor, her tears flowing freely again as they hugged. Riley had truly accepted Evan as his. It was a good thing she'd worn the waterproof mascara that Cordelia had bought here before she'd left!

Evan pulled back from the hug, but took Riley's large hand in his. Evan didn't want to let go of his father in case he disappeared from his life again. From what Uncle Graham and others had told him, his father was a special man, and there was no way he'd let him leave again.

"Uncle Graham said I have sisters. Will I meet them?"

"Yes, you do indeed have three younger sisters. Jordan's 8 years old and you two could be twins you look so much alike, except she's a girl. Hope's 6 years old, she's the musician in the family. And then there's trouble, that's Tristan and she's 4 years old. I know Graham loves them all, but Tristan is his favourite." Riley said, smiling as he thought of his girls.

"I never thought I'd have sisters," Evan said to himself.

"And as soon as we get the luggage, and Willow and Graham get back, we'll head home so you can meet them. What do you think?"

"Sounds good dad," he said, looking up at his mother.

_____________________________________________________________________ The drive to the house had been full of questions from Evan about his new sisters. He's already decided that he and Jordan would be the best of friends, Hope would teach him how to play the piano, and Trist-tie he would protect. He liked the idea of being a big brother.

Pulling up in front of the gate, Riley reached out the window and punched a code allowing the gate to swing open to reveal a huge house at the end of the driveway.

"You live here?" choked out Willow, shocked at the size of the house. It could easily have held two Hollywood mansions in it.

"No this is where the gate-keeper lives, wait till you see where he lives," laughed Graham.

"Smarty pants," replied Riley as he remembered to temper his response.

"You weren't kidding when you said you had lots of room," Buffy said in awe staring up at the house.

"Yeah, well, yeah," he said, not sure what to say next.

"This is cool dad!" Evan said, leaning over Willow to get a better look at the house his father lived in.

"We didn't always live here. Our old house was much, much smaller, but after Claire passed away I bought this one. It has just about everything the girls could ask for, plus a top of the line security system."

"Security systems are very important." Graham said, knowing Riley's fear about their business affecting his girls.

They finally pulled up in front of the house and the door flew open.

"Daddy!"

"Dad"

Riley was hit hard as both girls went plowing into him, almost knocking him off his feet.

"Hurry up and come in side we made cookies with Mrs. Drake!" Jordan said, pulling on Riley's hand and completely forgetting about their guests. Hope, however, stood staring at the pretty blonde haired lady that was getting out of the front passengers side of her father's truck.

"Inside with you both! You don't have coats or boots on!" He said, shooing them into the house.

"What a homecoming! Are they always that excited to see you?" Buffy teased, as she walked around the truck to help with the luggage.

"Nah, just when they make cookies."

"Who's super dad kidding? That's mild! Tristan's not here. She'd usually be attached to his leg by now," Graham said, handing Willow her carry on.

Buffy noticed that Evan still sat in the back seat of the truck, and had started back to the truck when Riley placed a hand on her arm.

"Let me. Gray, could you please show the ladies inside while my son and I have a conversation. Did you hear that! My son!" Riley sounded like a little kid as he walked over to truck.

"I think he's in love," Graham said to both women, happy for his friend. "Let's get you California girls inside before you freeze to death."

______________________________________________________________ Riley got into the backseat beside his son and closed the door. Evan still sat in the same place that he'd been sitting through the ride from the airport.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" Riley asked, placing his arm across the back of the seat behind Evan.

"Not sure. Maybe I'm a little nervous about meeting them," Evan said,indicating to the house with his head.

"Don't worry Evan, they don't bite. Okay maybe Tristan does, but she's not home right now," Riley teased.

"Do they know about me?"

"A little bit, I told them about you this afternoon. Tristan doesn't, she missed the family meeting but I'll tell her when she gets home."

"Do they want me?" He asked finally looking up to meet his father's gaze.

What did he tell him? Yes, they were happy, but Hope didn't want Buffy to be part of this new family. Hope didn't want a new mommy, she was happy with the one she'd had. Jordan on the other hand took the news well, and was looking forward to meeting Buffy and Evan.

"Yes, they do. Do you know that Tristan even asked me this morning for a brother for Christmas? Weird huh? I think she wanted a baby brother, but I think you'll do."

Evan smiled up at his father and reached for his hand. "You won't leave me, once we get inside there."

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away. I will always be here for you," Riley smiled, totally aware for the first time what his absence must have meant to his son during his life. How would they handle his going back to L.A. with Buffy? Riley didn't want to think about letting his little boy go.

"We can go inside now. I'm ready to meet my sisters."

______________________________________________________ Inside things weren't going as well. Graham had hold of Hope who would not let Buffy enter the house. She was crying and screaming that just because her mother was dead didn't mean she needed a new one. Buffy hadn't been prepared at all for this type of reaction. Why had she been so selfish? She should have realised what this would mean to Riley's daughters. They had just lost their mother two years ago, and here she was walking into their life with her son.

"Hope, honey it's okay," Graham said, holding the little girl gently in his powerful arms. Willow was mesmerised at how sensitive and gentle he was with children. First Evan, and now Hope.

"I don't want a new mommy," she wailed against Graham shoulder.

"It's okay baby, she's not going to be your new mommy. She's only Evan's mommy," Graham said, rocking the little girl in his arms. Looking at Buffy, he could tell that she understood what was happening.

"That' right Hope, I'm not here to take the place of your mommy. I'm just Evan's mommy."

"Really?" she sniffed, looking up into Buffy's hazel eyes, trying to figure out if Buffy was telling her the truth.

"Yeah, silly. She's Evan's mom. We already had one of our own. But now we have a big brother." Jordan said, standing beside Graham and trying to help her sister with this new development in their lives.

"Yeah. You have me, Hope," Evan said, standing behind them all holding Riley's hand.

Nobody had noticed Riley and Evan enter the house behind them. Riley stood listening to his daughter cry and his heart ached for her. He'd thought they'd settled this during their talk this afternoon, but he'd been wrong. As wonderful a day as it was for him and Evan, he knew it would be difficult for Hope. He'd just wished that he'd had more time to prepare her for the changes that were about to take place in their lives.

Buffy turned to Riley and gave his a sad sympathetic smile. This was not going to be easy.

Part Nine

Riley let go of Evan's hand and went to his daughter. Immediately she threw herself into his comforting arms and buried her head into his neck. He knew that Hope had stopped crying, but like after one of her nightmares she would need a little TLC from daddy. He looked down at Jordan and smiled.

"Jordan, I would like you to meet your big brother Sean Evan Riley Summer. And Evan I would like you to meet your sister Jordan Elizabeth Finn." Riley would've loved to have been able put Hope down o make the introductions, but at the moment that wasn't possible. The two kids stood looking at each other, both it seemed, were amazed by how much they looked a like.

"He looks like…"

"You," Riley finished for his daughter.

"Maybe daddy, but I was going to say you," saying this she walked across the hallway and took Evan's coat from him and placed it on the chair.

"Come on Evan. There's cookies in the kitchen." She stuck her hand out for his. The adults stood watching how easily Jordan had accepted him when they heard a little voice.

"Don't I get to meet him too?" came the muffled voice from Riley's neck.

"I didn't think you were ready yet," Riley said, twisting his neck so he could look down at her. Sheepishly Hope shook her head.

"Okay then, but I have to put you down," she nodded her head, and Riley slowly put her down on the floor.

"Evan, I would like you to meet your other little sister, Hope Christine Finn. Hope, this is your brother Sean Evan Riley Summers."

Riley suddenly realised how smart Evan was because he walked over to Hope and took her hand in his.

"Come on Hopie. We're going to get some cookies." And with that the new siblings walked off in search of the kitchen. The last thing that could be heard was Hope's little voice saying, "Stick with us, we'll show you around the place."

Hearing this the adults laughed, grateful for a break in the tension.

"I'm so sorry Riley, I … I didn't think what this would mean to the girls," Buffy said, dropping her flight bag and going to him.

"It's okay, Buffy. This is the first time any of the girls have reacted this way, and it's just taking some getting use to. Claire's death was very sudden and hard for the girls to accept, particularly for Hope. Hope and her mother were very close and I think she feels kind of left out sometimes being the middle child and all. There's also the fact that the other two girls look so much like me while Hope's the spitting image of her mother. I think she misses Claire almost as much as I do," Riley said, feeling emotionally drained.

Buffy wrapped her arms around him and held him.

"I know I'm not making any sense," he said, loving the feel of her arms offering him the comfort he needed.

"It's okay Riley. It's okay to miss Claire."

Just hearing her say those words undid him. Since Claire's death nobody had told him it was okay to miss her. Even though he spoke to Graham about Claire all the time, well past midnight sometimes, they had always talked about picking up and moving on and now here was Buffy telling him it was okay to miss her. Suddenly all the pain and sorrow he'd been feeling came to a head, and it seemed to explode. The pain and pressure had seemed to magnify over the last couple of days until he wasn't sure that he could manage another moment.

In Buffy's arms he tried to hold on to the thin veil of control he'd been managing the last couple of days, but it fell to reveal the tortured man behind it. He trembled and sobbed uncontrollably in her arms.

"Buffy, take him into the library and close the door." Graham said, indicating the door behind them.

"We'll keep the kids busy," Willow said, watching Buffy lead Riley off to the library.

"I never thought..." Graham sighed, running his hand through his hair. Willow watched him, realising for the first time that the crew cut he'd worn for years was gone and his hair was much longer. She smiled as she thought of running her fingers through it.

"I never thought about what this would do to him. I know he loves the girls with his whole heart and seeing Hope so upset about Buffy is killing him. The guilt he carries never goes away."

"Guilt?"

"Because of Buffy."

"He still has feeling for her, doesn't he?" she asked placing her hand on his forearm.

"He's never stopped and that's what's so hard for him. Buffy was always a ghost between him and Claire. If she'd have come back for him when Claire had been alive I think he would have left with her. I think Claire knew it too."

"He loved Claire didn't he?"

"Sure, but if she hadn't been preg…" and Graham slammed his mouth shut. Willow stared at him in shock. Had she heard him right?

"He married her because she was pregnant?"

"Great Miller! Open mouth insert foot," he mumbled, mentally beating himself up.

Willow grabbed him by the forearms and the pressure of her hands on his arms snapped his head up.

"Graham?"

"Yes! Claire got pregnant when they were dating, so he married her. It's not like he didn't love her or anything Willow, because he did. He just didn't love her the way he loved Buffy. I know over the years he'd grown to love her and they were inseparable by the time Hope was born. We'd go on missions and we'd have to have it wrapped up in a week so he could get home to Claire and the kids. He loved being married and having the girls. But the whole time he was with Claire, I know he thought about Buffy."

Willow listened to what Graham told her and she thought about the woman Riley had married. It must have been horrible to realise that the man you loved, the same man who told you that he loved you, loved someone else more. Willow couldn't imagine what Claire must have felt; knowing that she had never owned Riley's full heart and that the only reason he'd married her was out of obligation. Maybe Buffy had been right to keep the news of her pregnancy from him, but shaking her head she knew that Riley had loved Buffy to death and their marriage would have been so different.

"Please Willow, don't tell Buffy this. Riley's the one who needs to tell her, not you," Graham's eyes pleaded with her.

"I've just made a huge mistake telling you this. It was a secret that Riley had sworn me to. Please, don't tell Buffy."

"I won't say a word. Just think what it would do to Buffy if she found out. Goddess! She had so despreately wanted Riley to be a part of her son's life, but instead he walked away and got another woman pregnant," Willow said finally grasping the whole picture.

"Don't you think I've thought about that?" He said, pacing the front hallway.

"What are we going to do?" She said, plopping down the on the bottom step of the circular staircase.

"We're going to let them figure this out by themselves, in their own way and in their own time," Graham said, staring down at her.

"Right now I'm not sure they have all the time in the world to figure this one out."

"I think you and I need to have a serious talk. There's seems to be a lot going on here that we need to discuss, and that doesn't even include us," he said, reaching out for her hand.

"We're an us?" Willow asked, smiling up at him shyly.

"I'm not sure," Graham said, glancing down at her hand in his. Seeing her little hand in his seemed so right and he wondered what he was going to have to do to keep it there.

"Come on. You take the kids down to the family room and throw in a video and I'll let Mrs. Drake leave for the day." "How about cookies and milk?"

"They're already having them."

"I meant for us."

"Ah. Remember the day when a well placed glass of milk and a cookie could solve all of life's little problems?" Graham sighed as they walked side by side to the kitchen.

"Yeah. Too bad cookies and milk won't solve all of Buffy and Riley's problems."

"I know," Graham replied, taking one last look over his shoulder at the closed library door.

______________________________________________________________________ Once Buffy was able to manoeuvre Riley into the library she closed the door. Leaning him against the library door for support, she looked for the light switch and turned it on. The rich room basked in the warm glow of the wall sconces.

"Riley, honey we need to sit on the couch," hearing her say his name, Riley lifted his tear-streaked face to look at her.

"Buffy."

"I'm right here with you Riley. I'm not going anywhere," she said, enclosing him in the safety of her arms.

She sat holding him, whispering words of comfort into his ear trying to calm him. She tried to think back to all the times they'd been together and she'd never seen him like this, even after Walsh and Forrest's deaths. He seemed unable to stop the flow of tears that coursed down his handsome face. He held her tightly and she was afraid he that might crack a rib. She knew that she would put up with the pain though, because being with him now was all that mattered.

Slowly the sobbing seemed to quiet down and Buffy pulled back a little bit to look down at him. If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn he had cried himself to sleep he was so still but she knew he was still awake. Looking down into his face she reached out and caressed the side of his face with her hand, stopping to wipe the tears away with her thumb. Opening his eyes he looked up into her warm hazel ones and then closed his again.

"It's okay Riley. I'm here for as long as you need me. Close your eyes and go to sleep," she whispered, as she urged him to put his head down in her lap, brushing the hair back from his forehead.

"I must be dreaming if you're holding me," he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"No. I'm real, Riley." She smiled sadly at him, realising that his face had seemed to age years right in front of her. Leaning her head down she tried to kiss the wrinkles away on his brow. The intimate touch of her soft lips made him sigh.

"You are really here aren't you?"

"Yeah I am," leaning down she kissed his forehead again, "I'm not leaving you."

"Promise me," he said sitting up so they sat facing each other on the couch. Reaching for his hands she held them in hers, admiring them like she used to. For someone so large and powerful, his hands were always so gentle and soft.

"I won't leave you Riley Finn, and I won't let you leave me either."

"I won't let my pride stand between you and my son a second time."

He said smiling weakly. Looking into her hazel eyes all he wanted to do was kiss her. He wanted to feel his lips on her sweet ones again, to feel her mouth open to allow his tongue access.

Staring into Riley's blue eyes she could feel herself falling into their depths, getting lost just like she used to. In a trance-like state, she leaned into him gently, touching her lips to his. His lips still felt as soft as she'd remembered and she could smell his cologne. Pulling back she smiled.

"You still wear Grey Flannel."

"Of course. You gave me it to me for Christmas that first year. I wear it all the time."

"OK, confession time. Every time I smell Grey Flannel, I think of you," Buffy's brow wrinkled in thought.

"You know I've never bought another man a bottle of cologne?"

"Really?" He said, doubting both statements.

"There's never been anyone else I've wanted to buy it for. Giving perfume or cologne is very intimate gift." Buffy said softly as she felt herself leaning closer to him with each word she spoke.

"Really," he replied, never taking his eyes off of her lips as she spoke.

"Yup," she breathed as his mouth found hers again. The kiss started off as a sweet exploration of familiar ground but as he felt her part her lips under his, it bubbled into something far more passionate and their tongues found each other. She was pressed against him marvelling at how well she still fit against him, but the thought quickly left her mind as his hands started pulling her turtle neck from her pants. Her own small hands began to fumble with the buttons of his shirt but then she pulled herself out of his arms trying to catch her breath.

Riley looked at Buffy panting and slightly embarrassed. He'd pushed himself on her; he'd wanted her so badly that he hadn't taken her needs into consideration.

"I'm so sorry Buffy," he apologised, turning to look out the bay window, knowing he couldn't look into her eyes.

"No Riley. It's not your fault. I wanted it too, believe me," she said as she tried to reassure him.

"I'm not going to fall apart at your rejection, don't worry," he said sadly tracing the pattern on the back of the couch.

"No, but I may when you hear the real reason why I've come here," Buffy's hand met his cheek, slowly turning his face so she could look him in the eye.

Riley looked her into her eyes, trying to figure out what could possible worry her so much. What could it be that had her fearing he'd turn his back on her and his son?

"You're with Lindsay? Aren't you?"

"No. I'm on my own, I promise you that."

Suddenly realizing what she might be after, Riley felt as if she had kicked him in the stomach with all her former slayer strength.

"You're serving me in person with papers for child support."

Maybe Graham was right; maybe she'd come after Evan's share of his fortune.

"No, but I have come for something," she said, getting up from the couch and walking to the same bay window Riley had just been staring out of. For the last six months, 12 days and 4 hours she'd been trying to figure out how to tell him this and now standing in front of him, she only had one option and that was the truth.

"Out with it, Buffy," Riley said, clenching his jaw, afraid of what she was going to say.

"Evan's dying, Riley."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Riley felt the room spinning. Buffy saw the look on his face and grabbed the trashcan next to his desk. She ran back to him with only seconds to spare as he emptied his stomach. He retched a second time, and a third before he felt he could pull his head from the can.

"I did the exact same thing when Dr. Fields told me 6 months ago," she offered, handing him the glass of bottled water she'd poured for him.

"Are you sure?" He asked, hoping she'd been lying to him.

"Wish I wasn't. I've had him to 4 doctors, 2 in California, 1 in Chicago and 1 in New York. He has leukaemia, Riley. He has about 6 month to live if we're lucky," she could feel her own tears spilling down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She always cried when she thought of how little time she had left with her son.

"So what? Was this his last dying wish? To meet me?" Riley asked, trying to let what she'd just said wash over him.

"Yes. No. Sort of," she said leaning against the desk behind him, afraid to look Riley in the face.

"Well, what is it Buffy!?" Riley snapped, feeling frustrated and angry at the way the conversation was going. "Was this your way of getting back at me! Here's your son Riley, but don't get to attached to him because he's dying! You're a real bitch, aren't you!"

"No! It's not like that!" She said rushing over to grab one of his hands. Riley shook her off and crossed his arms.

"Did I hurt you that much? Are you that mean that you thought this would be a great way to get even with me?"

"No! I would never do that to you! Riley, I need your help!"

"How could you need my help? Or is it my money that you're after?" He snapped as he jumped up off the couch, trying to put as much distance between the two of them.

"I don't want your money! I want you and your daughter's to have your bone marrow tested to see if it's a match with Evan's. It's his only chance Riley."

Staring at her hard, he asked the question that was running through his mind.

"If you hadn't need me, would I ever have met my son."

"Riley it's not that straight forward…" That was the last he heard from her as he slammed out of the room and out of the house.

"Riley!" She yelled through her tears. She raced out into the hallway in time to see the front door slam shut. Dropping to the tiled floor she cried, feeling like he'd abandoned her yet again to face this alone.

"Buffy?" Willow asked, kneeing down beside her.

"I told him Will. He was so angry and I can see how scared he is," Buffy said, feeling Willow pull her into her arms.

"Shhh… he'll be back," she said, trying to soothe Buffy.

"You didn't see the look in his eyes, Willow. I'm afraid he'll do something stupid." She cried hanging on to Willow for dear life.

"It's okay Buffy. I know where he's gone. He needs to grasp this for himself," Graham said, bending down to take the slayer from Willow. Carefully he lifted her into his arms.

"He said some terrible things, Graham. He thinks I did this on purpose."

"I'll go after him in a couple of minutes. He needs to cool off a bit. And you need to calm down too. You've had 6 months to deal with this. He's had what, 5 minutes to come to grips with it?" Graham said, placing her on the couch in the library.

"He needs to come to terms with it is all."

"You know?" Buffy asked Graham.

"Yes. Willow told me."

Looking up into his intense blue eyes, she saw that they were red and had an unmistakably sad look in them.

"I've hurt him again, Graham," she whispered into his chest, afraid that she'd pushed Riley over the edge for good this time.

Part Ten

Riley sat opposite the Boston Light Lighthouse watching the December waters crash against the little island's coastline. Since moving to Boston 6 years ago with a pregnant Claire and 2 year old Jordan this had become his favourite place to sit and think. After the births of both Hope and Tristan he had sat here dreaming of their futures. When they'd first opened up the company he would sit here obsessing over whether or not they would succeed. After a trying mission he'd find himself sitting on a bench replaying it in his head. And it was here, two years ago, on a bitterly cold day in January that Graham found him. Somehow he'd managed to find his way here after he'd had them pull Claire's life support plug. He'd been frozen and incoherent in his grief.

Now as the last rays of daylight were slipping from the sky his thoughts drifted to another woman, and his son. He'd been totally out of line with the way he'd spoken to Buffy. My God, it was her son too. Reaching up he wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. . Having only met his son a few hours ago, Riley knew Evan owned part of his heart. The minute his eyes fell on the blonde haired boy his heart seemed to sing, he'd fallen in love with him, just as he had, when he'd held each of his daughters for the first time. It never failed to amaze him, how he could fall in love with his children at first sight. Riley's emotions were in turmoil, for as happy as he was at meeting his son, he was devastated at the thought of losing him so soon. His son was dying, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. How could his heart take another loss like this?

"Haven't I lost enough in my life God!" he yelled up a the roof of the Landrover. Why did it always seem that God was out to get him. He'd tried to continue to find comfort in the religion he'd grown up with, and believe in God, but the worse things got, the harder it became to believe in him.

"I've done everything you've ever asked of me. I've been a good Catholic, and fought your battles here on Earth. My girls have been raised in the Catholic Church, like I'd promised. Why are you doing this to me!"

Gripping the steering wheel with both hands he shook it with anger. Who had he pissed off in his life, that he'd deserved this pain?

"Is it you Forrest? Are you sitting up there laughing at my pain? Or is it you Maggie? Was I that big a disappointment to you?"

There was only one other person it could have been, and he was terrified that she could do something like this to him. She'd been his life until she'd died two years ago. He'd always known that she knew about Buffy. In the early days of their friendship he'd talk about her, and curse himself for leaving Buffy behind. Claire, ever the good friend, would listen and give him a shoulder to cry on, but somewhere along the way they had become a couple. Suddenly Buffy was a topic that was off limits between them, so he kept his pain to himself.

" Is it you Claire? Are you angry because of Buffy? If that's the case, why punish my son! Punish me!!!" He was in agony as he screamed.

"WHY!!"

As his tears overtook him again he rested his head against the steering wheel. Praying to God for a miracle, an answer, anything to spare his son the pain. He wasn't sure how long he'd sat like that until he heard someone knocking on the passenger side window. Looking up he saw Graham standing there. Riley hit the lock switch and heard the Landrover unlock its doors. Graham opened up the door and climbed in next to him. They sat in silence for a while staring out at the lighthouse before Riley finally broke the silence.

"Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to say something?"

"Nope. Thought I'd let you do that," Graham responded, not taking his eyes off the lighthouse out across the harbour.

"You're an ass, you know that."

"Yup. That's all you have to say?" Graham said, still not looking at Riley.

"Well. What are you doing here?"

"Thought you might like to talk. Make sure that you were okay. Buffy was worried."

"Hell after what I'd accused her of I'm surprised she'd be too concerned about my welfare."

"She is, Riley. She loves you, can't you see that?"

"Why? I've only ever hurt her."

"Funny. She says the same thing about you. She understands that you're hurting right now. It's not easy accepting everything that's happened to you in the last couple of days. Damn, I'd have gone a lot further than Boston Harbour if I'd been in your shoes."

"No you wouldn't." Riley smirked knowing that Graham would never have gotten himself into the mess that Riley currently had himself in.

"Buffy's worried about you. Let me call her and tell her you’re safe. Okay?" Riley just shrugged his shoulders and looked out the driver's side windows trying not to listen to Graham's conversation.

"Hey, Willow. Yeah, I found him… Yeah, he's safe… Tell her he didn't do anything stupid… Don't let her go to the hotel, she needs to talk to Riley."

Riley heard Graham mention Buffy's moving to a hotel and grabbed the phone from Graham.

"Willow. What's this about moving to a hotel?"

"She said it may be easier on you and the kids if we stayed at the Hilton, as we original planned."

"No! Put her on the phone, please."

Riley waited for Willow to tell Buffy that he wanted to speak with her. Over the covered receiver she could hear them arguing and finally Buffy's voice.

"Are you okay, Riley?"

"I’m fine. Just sorry for the things I'd said to you. I know you would never do this to hurt me, but I had to strike out at someone. And once again I ran out on you. I couldn't think in there, it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I drove around for a while before I found myself down here at the Boston Harbour. For the last hour I've been sitting here cursing God, Forrest, Maggie, even Claire. "

"It's okay. You should come home."

"I will if you stay. We need to talk this through, make some decisions about Evan's future."

"Okay, we'll stay." She said, happy inside that he'd asked them to stay.

"Buff, does he know?" Riley traced the steering wheel with his finger as he waited for the answer.

"He knows. Dr. Fields and I told him together."

Riley sat in silence for a moment thinking about his little boy. He should have been there the day they'd told Evan he was dying. Hell, he should have been a part of his son's life all along! How could he look Evan in the face again without falling apart?

Graham watched Riley's face change and the tears start again. Riley dropped the phone and Graham reached for it.

"Buffy. I think we may be a while still, I can't bring him home this way, it'll upset the girls."

"Oh yeah." She sighed once again forgetting about his daughters in this whole equation. Buffy's little world only included her, Riley, and Evan, she kept forgetting to include Jordan, Hope, and Tristan. The girls had just lost their mother, and her she was introducing them to their dying brother. All she'd been concerned about was getting them tested for a marrow match. Now she had to think how this would affect them.

"I'm going to take him for a drink, we'll be home around 7:00 or so. Can you and Willow handle the girls? Maybe order a piazza or something? Tristan should be coming home in the next little while. Don't worry, she won't make strange, she's a great kid."

"Not a problem. Take care of him for me, Graham."

"I always do, Buffy."

"Thanks man," Riley said as he saw Graham end the call, and place the phone back in his coat pocket.

"It was just a call," Graham said, shrugging his shoulders.

"No. I meant, thanks for being here for me. It always seems to be you picking up the pieces. It must be a pain in the ass being my best friend."

"Yeah, it is a pain in the ass being your friend, but not for the reasons you'd think," Graham joked.

"Ha!"

"Look Riley, you've been there for me when no one else was. I thank God every day that you came back into my life. You and those girls are the only family I have and I will do anything in this world for you or them. Do you understand me?"

Riley simply nodded his head, afraid to speak. Graham was like a brother to him, and hearing him say how he felt about him and the girls out loud brought tears to his eyes again.

"God, you are a big cry baby" Graham cracked

"You should talk." Riley smiled, watching Graham wipe away his own tears.

________________________________________________________________________ Buffy still sat holding the phone long after Graham had hung up. She was worried about Riley and his daughters. How would they handle this? Once again Buffy Summers was being self-centered, only concerned about her and her son's needs. She ached for Riley as she watched the news sink in. As his anger exploded around the library, she wanted to protect and comfort him from the pain she'd already been dealing with. His whole life had changed again in two days thanks to Hurricane Buffy.

"Is he okay?" Willow asked, taking the phone out of Buffy's hand and putting it back in the cradle.

"Yeah, he just has a lot to try and deal with. I knew it would be difficult for him, but I didn't expect all this," Buffy said meekly.

"We didn't know, but if you had, would it have made any difference? We still need to find out if they’re a match for Evan." Willow could only imagine the pain Buffy and Riley were both in, but they had to keep in mind that Evan's days were numbered. They'd already struck out when it came to the donor network; the Finns were his final shot at life.

"You're right, but I would have handled it different," She wailed.

"How?"

"I don't know. But I would have."

"Let's go back and watch the movie with the kids. I think they have ‘A Christmas Story’. I know it's one of your favourites," Willow said, trying to tempt Buffy out of her dark mood.

"I think I need to cook. I think spaghetti may be in order," Buffy sniffed.

"Sounds like a good cure to me. But I think I'll go watch the movie with the kids," Willow said, pulling Buffy to her feet.

"Have you found the kitchen yet?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, and wait till you see it. It's a gourmet's dream, you should have fun in there. Come on. I'll show you the way."

___________________________________________________________________________ Buffy had been in the kitchen pulling ingredienst from the fridge when she heard the front door slam open and a little voice yell.

"Daddy! I'm home!"

Buffy stuck her head out around the corner of the kitchen doorway and saw the little head of blonde curls bent over struggling to pull her boots off. Buffy giggled a little as she watched her frustration at the tight boot. Okay she hadn't taken her mittens off yet, but she hadn't thought that far yet.

"Daddy!" the little girl yelled in frustration.

"Would you like some help, Tristan?" Buffy asked, stepping out into the hallway. As the little girl looked up, Buffy's heart was gone. Here was the most beautiful angel she'd seen in her life. No wonder she was Graham's favourite.

"Who are you?" Tristan said, offering her booted foot to Buffy to pull off.

"My name's Buffy. I'm a friend of your daddy's." Buffy squatted down to tug the offending zipper down and pulled the boot off.

"That's a funny name," laughed the little girl.

"Yeah it is." Buffy smiled back at the little girl as she took the second boot in her hand.

"What were you doing in our kitchen?" asked the little girl.

"You don't miss a thing do you? I was planning on cooking us some spaghetti for dinner. What do you think?"

"You're pretty," Tristan said, now on her feet standing eye to eye with a squatting Buffy.

"Thank you."

"Are you an angel?" Tristan asked in awe.

"No, I'm just like you." Buffy smiled into the beautiful little face.

"Cool!" Tristan said, finally pulling her mittens off.

"Could you help me?" she asked again, giving Buffy an innocent smile.

"Sure. Only if you'll help me cook dinner."

"Like I help Mrs. Drake cook dinner? I get to sit on her counter and watch."

"Well, I think I'll need more help than that. I'll need someone to reach in the bottom cupboards and then someone to tell me where everything is. Can you do that?" Buffy asked, unzipping Tristan's jacket.

"Oh! I can do that. I'll be the best helper ever," she said, excitedly jumping up and down as Buffy pulled her jacket off.

"Well then to the kitchen, my little helper!" Buffy said with a flourish.

Part Eleven

It was 7:30 when Riley drove up in front of the house and saw the Christmas lights were on. Someone had even remembered the big Christmas tree in the living room’s front window, as its lights twinkled against the dark room. Guess the kids must have remembered to plug the lights in. He knew how much they loved the lights. Parking the Landrover he didn't want to get out of it. He knew how cold it was, and his teeth still hadn't stopped chattering. He'd sat down by the harbour with the heat off for two hours. Graham got out of his Viper and stood in front of the truck waiting for Riley.

"Why don't you go up and have a hot shower? I've sat for the last hour watching your teeth chatter, and it's not a pretty sight. Plus your lips are blue. Not very kissable."

"You're so funny."

"I think so," Graham chuckled, not missing the sarcastic tone in Riley's voice.

As Riley pushed open the front door they were met by the Christmas music, laughter, and what smelled like spaghetti sauce? Riley looked at Graham and shook his head. Seemed like the elves had taken over the asylum.

"I thought you said they were ordering pizza?"

"I only suggested," Graham said, following the delicious smells down the hall.

"I'll save you some!" he called over his shoulder as he turned the corner.

"Great leftovers," Riley snorted as he made his way up the staircase to his room and a warm shower.

_________________________________________________________________ Graham stood in the doorway watching the group in the kitchen. Standing in the middle of the room was Willow with her hands on her hips doing a wonderful imitation of Cruella De Ville.

The kids were laughing at Willow as they tried to eat their ice cream.

"Ah! Dinner theatre I see is alive and well in Boston," he commented, leaning against the doorframe.

Willow's head snapped around and she turned a deep shade of red at having been caught by Graham. She loved doing imitations for Buffy and the kids, but she'd never show this side of her talent to other adults. She was a serious actress, not a comedian. As talented as she was, she was still a little self conscious of her comic ability. Now standing here in Riley's kitchen with Graham watching her—that was embarrassing.

"Uncle Cracker!" Tristan screamed, jumping down off her chair and rushing to him.

"Hey there Trist-tie!" he said, throwing her up in the air.

"I missed you. Don't ever go away that long again. I didn't think you were coming back," she said between giggles as Graham threw her up in the air again.

"Graham, she just had a plate full of spaghetti and now a bowl of ice cream. I'd be careful throwing her," laughed Buffy from her place at the table.

"Nah, it's okay, Buffy. The girls have cast iron stomachs, don't ya?" he said, hugging his favourite niece. Riley and Claire had choosen Graham's middle name Tristan for their daughter's name, and that had established their bond early on. He spoiled all the girls, but Tristan was his favourite. He would dream about having his own little blonde haired angel, but now his angel would have to have red hair like her mother.

"Where's Daddy?" Hope asked, sitting as far away from Buffy as possible.

"He's having a shower, sweetheart," Graham said, sitting down in Tristan's seat and placing her on his lap.

"Did you guys eat?" Buffy asked.

"No. Just a couple of beers."

"Want some spaghetti?"

"Sure. Who made it? It smells wonderful."

"I did," Buffy said, getting up from the table and going to the stove. "And before you get a chance to change your mind, I've taken more cooking classes than you can shake a stick at. So don't worry, I won't kill you."

"How did you know…"

"Because it's everyone's reaction when they first hear I've cooked something. I'm just glad that people have let go of the fear. At least my California friends have."

"Yeah, she's a great cook now. A dinner invitation to the Summers' home is definitely A List now," Willow said, smiling at Buffy proudly.

"Thanks, Will."

"Are you guys done with your ice cream?" Buffy asked, ruffling her son's blonde hair.

"I am. Can we be excused?" he asked, anxious to get back to the movie he's been watching with his sisters.

"Yes. You all can be excused," Buffy answered as the four of the left the room in a shot.

"Was it something I said?" she asked jokingly.

"So where's my spaghetti?" Graham laughed at the obviously distracted Buffy.

"Oh my God! Graham, I'm so sorry. I get a little sidetracked playing mommy sometimes," she said, heading to the stove again.

"Well, you seem to have done a great job at it. I mean, playing mommy." Graham smiled at her.

"Thanks." She smiled proudly at him

"Evan seems like a great kid. You should be proud of yourself," he said as she placed the plate in front of him.

"I had a lot of help. I don't think I could have done it without Willow, my mom, and the rest of the gang. But I think Evan started off with great genes. He's so much like Riley that it's scary. He has his generous, loving nature," she said, taking her seat opposite Graham and Willow. Buffy smiled at her best friend.

"Physically, it's not hard to miss. Hey this is good. You weren't kidding when you said you could cook now. I'll have to get this recipe from you."

"You cook?" Willow said, shocked, staring at the large handsome man beside her.

"Yeah, what bachelor in his right mind doesn't? It's a nice way to impress a woman. Invite her to your place for a nice home cooked meal, some wine and dancing on a the terrace."

"Let me guess. They’re putty in your hands." Buffy laughed.

"Something like that." Graham blushed because he could feel Willow watching him.

"Excuse me, you two. I'm going to check on Riley," Buffy said, trying to find a good reason to leave the two alone. It was obvious to her that the room was humming with sexual attraction, and well, none of it was directed at her.

Leaving the room, Buffy left the couple alone at the table. Willow suddenly felt like the high school version of herself, nerdy and shy. How could someone as fine as Graham want her? Her confidence went out the window. She'd dated some of Hollywood's most famous and attractive men, but in Graham Miller's company she became a slug.

"So tell me what you've been up to since college?" Graham asked, buttering a piece of Italian bread.

"You mean other than my career?" she asked, feeling like an absolute idiot.

"I mean everything," he said, taking a bite out of the bread. She watched as he chewed and the muscle in his jaw flexed.

"Well, I don't know. I've been busy, I guess."

"Understatement of the year." He laughed, knowing about the success she'd had.

"Okay, my acting career is doing well," she replied modestly.

"So tell me how it happened. How does a computer major become an Academy Award winning actress?"

"Actually, I have two Oscars." She smiled.

"Wow. You know I've never seen one of your movies," he said as he wound spaghetti around on his fork.

"Really? You're not alone," she said sadly.

"No, I'm serious. They were always such 'chick flicks' I avoided them." Graham hoped God wouldn't strike him dead with this lie. The truth was he couldn't bring himself to watch any of her movies because it still hurt too much. He'd never gotten over losing her to Tara.

"We'll have to fix that. I'll invite you to my next premier. I can give Angel the night off. He hates those things."

"Angel?"

"Yeah, the studio makes me take a bodyguard. Seems I have a stalker on my hands."

Graham could feel his anger rising at the thought that some freak was stalking his Willow. He could understand how someone could be obsessed with the little redhead sitting next to him, but to actually hurt her.

"You have a stalker?"

"Price of fame. It comes with the territory, a lot of celebrities have them. Mine just likes to send me death threats and the like." Saying this it seemed as though she'd shrunk right before his eyes. Graham so wanted to pull her into his arms and protect her forever.

"Sounds like a high price to me," he sighed, afraid that something could happen to this precious woman.

"It's okay. I'm usually safe," Willow said, taking Graham's clenched hand in hers. She rubbed her fingers acrossed his knuckles and his hand unclenched.

"I'd hate to think of anyone ever hurting you," he told her truthfully.

"I'm glad to hear that," she said, smiling at their entwined hands.

They sat in silence as Graham continued to eat.

"So can you cook like this, too?"

"Nope. Just act."

"You still haven't told me, how did you get discovered?"

"Senior showcase. I had a part in a one act play that caught Michael Mann's eye. Next thing I knew I had an agent and a part in his next movie opposite Ralph Fiennes. It was pretty intense."

"Wow! Talk about a whirlwind."

"Yeah. I won my first Oscar for that part. After that, the offers just kept rolling in. I've never done any of those teeny bop movies. I was lucky, I've been taken as a serious actress from day one."

"And you haven't forgotten the little people, I see," he joked with her.

"Yeah. Buffy and the gang are the only people I feel that I can really trust. In Hollywood, everyone wants a piece of you and it's hard to know who wants to be your friend because of who you are, not what you are. And don't even get me started on the dating scene. So what have you been up to? Married, kids, business?"

"I've never been married, or even close for that matters. Kids—none that I'm aware of. But hey, look what just happened here to Riley. I could have kids that I'm not aware of. Maybe I should call my lawyer in the morning and have them draw something up just in case."

Willow laughed at his paranoid act and he joined her. It felt nice to sit in a kitchen laughing with this woman. He really wanted to lean over and kiss her, but it didn't seem appropriate.

"After I left Sunnydale, I went and joined the new addition of the Initiative. Much more streamlined and above board. We only researched and killed them. No more playing Frankenstein with the hostiles."

"So how did you and Riley end up owning one of the richest Security Companies in the world?" Somehow Willow had managed to turn sideways on her chair so that her feet were resting on the top rungs of Graham's chair. Her knees where pulled up and her chin rested on them. She looked adorable. No wonder she was the centre of many a man's fantasy.

"Fluke, really. It's too hard and too confidential to explain to you right now, but maybe one day."

"If you tell me, Graham Miller, that you'll have to kill me if you tell me, well, then I'll have to do this." And she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. Pulling back they were both shocked by what she had done. Willow blushed as it dawned on her what she'd done.

"Oh my Goddess. Graham I'm so sorry, I don't know what overtook me," she said, reaching out to touch his face.

She blushed again.

"It's okay, Willow. I have to tell you, I've been dying to do that since you got off the plane earlier today. So I'm glad one of us had the nerve to do it," he said, turning his head so the hand that she'd rested against his cheek now rested over his lips. He gently kissed it.

_____________________________________________________________ Buffy walked up the spiral staircase in search of Riley. She needed to see for herself that he was okay. At the top of the stairs she stopped. She had no idea which room was his or which way to turn. Seeing a pair of double doors at the far end of the hall, she started towards them. That had to be the master bedroom. She knocked tentatively, suddenly wishing she'd waited till he'd come downstairs.

"Come in sweetheart," he called from behind the door.

Buffy opened the door, and there he stood with a towel wrapped around his waist and his body still wet and glistening.

"Oh God! Riley, I'm so sorry," she gasped, seeing him standing like that and unable to do the decent thing and turn around. She couldn't help but admire his next to naked body. He still had the wonderful muscular body she'd remembered. And his butt. Well, that would be worth a chapter itself in a romance novel.

At hearing her voice, he wiped around, feeling very exposed. Sure she'd seen him totally nude in the past, but somehow this felt different. He heard her gasp and noticed how her eyes travelled over his chest and down the length of his body. He almost dropped his towel when he saw her lick her lips.

"Buff, I thought you were one of the girls." He flushed, fighting the urge to rush across the room and pull her clothes off.

"No. Just nosy little old me. Get dressed I'll wait downstairs for you." She turned to leave when she felt him behind her.

"Stay. I'll change in the bathroom. I think we need to talk." His hand was on the small of her back, and he so wanted to pull the sweater over her head so he could feel her skin next to his.

"No. I'll go get your dinner ready for when you go down. I mean, when you come down stairs." She blushed.

"Sure, I'll be down in 5 minutes. I just have to get dressed."

Reaching up, she couldn't stop her hand as it ran through his wet hair. She always loved it when he'd just gotten out of the shower, the way his hair would curl. Riley could feel the shivers travel down his spine at her merest of touches.

"No longer." And with that said she was gone.

Part Twelve

Buffy walked slowly down the spiral staircase trying to grasp what had just happened. Seeing him standing there in that towel had totally rocked her! She'd dreamed of him almost ever night in one way or another, but seeing him standing there, well her dreams did not do him justice. His smooth broad chest, his narrow waist, those strong arms, and those long muscular legs, my God! The way the water droplets still clung to his body and hair. She found herself flushing at the thought of his powerful body over hers and the way his blue eyes would burn into hers with passion and desire.

She bite her bottom lip and closed her eyes, giving her head a shake.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs she decided to go in search of the kids. Since her arrival in the house she hadn't made it past the kitchen, living room, library, and now Riley's bedroom. She headed down a hallway and stopped to look at a photo on the wall. It was Riley, the Riley she remembered, holding a newborn baby. It must have been Jordan. Reaching out she traced his face and her heart ached as she saw the look of pure love on his face when he looked at his daughter. Evan didn't have a picture like this; all he had were pictures of her and him, or with one of the gang holding him. Never Riley. Wandering down the hall she stopped in front of a picture of Riley and Claire on their wedding day and Buffy was struck by how much the beautiful woman resembled her daughter. Continuing down the wall, Buffy noticed that the gallery finished abruptly with a picture of the Finn family in front of a Christmas tree. Looking at it she could tell by the ages of girls that it must have been taken right before Claire passed away. She wondered what it must have felt like to lose someone you loved so much, but then she was about to find out.

"Why did you stop the kids' picture gallery? It looks like after Claire died, the pictures stopped. You can't tell me the girls haven't had their school pictures taken since then?" Without turning around she knew Riley was standing behind her. She could feel his energy.

"I just couldn't. After we moved in I started putting the pictures up, but when I got to that one… I couldn't move past it. It took every ounce of energy I had to get that one up. She died 3 weeks later," Riley had walked down the hall till he stood directly behind her, staring at the picture that held her captive.

"She was very beautiful. I see where Hope get's her good looks from."

"Claire was more than just a pretty face, she was special," he said, reaching over Buffy's shoulder to straighten the picture frame.

"I can only imagine," she wanted to rip the picture off the wall and fling it across the hallway. This was the woman who'd had her Riley, who he'd shared his life and heart with. Buffy almost hated her.

"I have a habit of falling in love with very special women," he told her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

Still not taking her eyes off the picture, Buffy said out loud what had been on her mind since she'd noticed where the gallery had ended.

"You should finish this gallery, Riley. Leaving it like this tells the girls that life ended the day Claire died."

"When did you become a therapist?"

"I'm not. I just think it's important for them to realise that life hasn't ended just because she's gone."

"You mean it's important for Hope to realise that," he said turning her to face him.

"No. I just think that the girls have a right to see the rest of their lives up on this wall. Maybe a picture of their father and brother could be included?"

"You think? I'd like that. Do you have pictures of him I could have? I've missed out on so much of his life," Riley said sadly, trying to come to grips with the fact that he might only have 6 months left with his son.

"If all goes well with the tests, you could have a very long time with him. Hell, he could be burying you as a very old man," Buffy said,reaching up to touch his smooth cheek and trying to ease the pain she could see in his eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking.

"I pray that that's the case."

"So where do I find yours and mine?" Buffy asked, referring to their many children.

"The den, I would hazard to guess," he said, placing his hand on the small of her back and guiding her down the hall. He'd always found the small of her back so sexy.

Walking through the house they went past a room which automatically caught her eye. The dark Cherry wood panelling had drawn her into a game room. In the middle of the room was a tournament size pool table with ornate legs, in the corner was a large bar that could sit 10 people around it easily and along the walls were video games and pinball machines. A jukebox sat in the other corner and at the other end of the room was a grouping of leather couches.

"Don't tell me. You do most of your work from here?" She teased

"In the early days, it was a nice distraction. Gray and I will play some nights after the girls go to bed and occasionally I can drag Sam in for a game. I don't think she likes playing against me though. It's not a good idea to kick the boss's ass on a regular basis," he laughed.

"Sam?'

"My nanny. I think that Wesley would really like her, judging from what you have said about him. She's really beautiful, smart, funny and English. And she can kick major ass."

"Your nanny can kick major ass?" Buffy asked, suddenly not only feeling slightly jealous of the nanny because of her looks but also because Riley seemed quite impressed with her ass kicking ability.

"Yeah. She was one of the company's operatives. She was looking for a change and well, she was my gift from Graham," seeing Buffy's eyes pop open wide, as Riley realised what that must have sounded like to her.

"No, no! She wasn't a gift like that," he stammered, trying to find a way to explain the situation so that it wouldn't either embarrass him further or give too much away about what their company really did.

Buffy watched him blush and she remembered how cute he used to be when he did that. She knew from past experience that Riley could blush from head to toe, and she was dying to find out if he still did.

"It's just that after Claire died, I was very nervous about leaving the girls alone with just anyone. I use to bring Tristan to the office with me because I was terrified something would happen to her. In our line of work, I was always afraid that someone would use the girls against me. So Graham offered Sam the job. Hell, she could kill someone ten different ways with a straw if she had to. She loves the kids, they adore her and I have a friend out of it. I just wish she'd stop calling me Dr. Finn."

"I've never thought of you as Dr. Finn," she laughed, trying to picture Riley up in front of a lecture hall of 200 plus students talking about Pavlov. Instead she pictured him wet in his towel.

"I don't think of myself as Dr. Finn anymore either," he said, joining in her laughter. He missed hearing her laugh. In the final days of their relationship he'd seldom heard her laugh. Thinking this quickly sobered him up.

Buffy looked over at Riley and saw the distant look on his face. He looked clearly upset and she wondered what it was that had bothered him. Maybe he was thinking about Walsh, after all, he had mentioned her earlier in the day. Could Maggie Walsh still have a hold over him? Buffy hoped not.

"Do you want to talk about whatever's got you so upset?" She asked, leaning against the pool table beside him.

"Just thinking about the past," he said slowly, looking down at her.

"It must be strange not having Claire around, especially at Christmas," she replied, misunderstanding what he had implied.

"I was referring to us," he said quietly, placing his arm over her shoulder.

"Us! That was a long time ago, Riley," Buffy told him but found herself snuggling up against him, seeking his warmth all the same.

"When I think back, it always seems like it was someone else's life, not mine," Riley's hand slipped off her shoulder and started rubbing up and down her arm.

"Do you ever wish it had been someone else's life, and not yours?"

"Never," he replied adamantly, turning so he found himself standing directly in front of her with his hands on her small shoulders. His movements left Buffy pinned against the side of the pool table but she didn't seem to mind.

"I never want you to think that. I've been grateful my whole life for what little time I had with you. Okay, when we first broke up, I hated even the merest mention of your name but over time I forgave myself," Riley's chin dropped as he said the last part, he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye.

"What are you talking about, forgive yourself? I pushed you away. Look at me, Riley," she said reaching up and lifting his chin with her index finger until their eyes met again.

"I pushed you away. It was my fault. You were only doing what you felt you had to do. You wanted me to love you and you thought I didn't," she said, looking into his teary blue eyes.

"I loved you Riley Finn. I always have. And I don't mean in a platonic, great sex - miss it kind of way. My heart has ached every single day since we've been apart."

Riley stood staring down at her in shock. Running a hand through his damp hair, he turned and walked away from her. She watched as he walked to the French doors, where he stopped to lean his head against the cool glass. He felt like he was going to faint or worse, throw up again.

Buffy walked across the room and stood beside him, careful not to crowd him.

"I'm so very sorry I hurt you but I couldn't say those words as much as I tried too. I was so afraid to."

Riley stood still, listening to her and as much as he didn't want to hear her say what she was saying, he knew they both needed this. For him what they'd had wasn't about sex, he'd loved her with his very soul but being rejected by her again and again had taken it's toll. Now here she was standing in front of him, telling him she loved him.

"Maybe it's too late for us, Buffy," he whispered wishing what he'd just said wasn't true. <

"It's not, Riley. Look into my eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore."

Riley refused to meet her eyes.

"You can't, can you? You know why? Because every time you look at me I see it." Buffy said, reaching out for his arm.

"I know that kiss this afternoon in the library wasn't all about lust and desire. When you kissed me, I could feel every ounce of love you still feel for me. I know you love me Riley, and I won't give up on us. Not again."

"It's not that easy, Buffy,." he said, still looking out of the French doors.

"It can be. Don't do this to us. I went through 5 years of therapy to understand why I did this to us. Why I couldn't tell you that I loved you. Five years of tears and screaming fits, blaming every man that's entered my life for what I did to you. First, there was my dad. Hell, once the ink was dry on the divorce papers he disappeared from my life. The only evidence of him at all was the occasional postcard or guilt gift. Then there was Merrick and Pike. They both left me to face my slayer's duties alone. When I moved to Sunnydale there was Angel and a host of others by the time I got to you," Buffy stopped to take a deep breath before plunging on.

"Riley, I just couldn't say the words. I had this irrational fear that if I told you that I loved you, you'd leave me."

Tears were rolling down her face when he finally turned to look at her. He had promised himself he'd never make her cry but here she was, crying because of him and yet he still couldn't pull her into his arms to soothe her. As much as he didn't want to blame her for what happened, there was a tiny part of him that did and it was that part that wanted an explanation, wanted to see her hurt the way he had.

"But by not saying the words you left me anyway. By not telling you that I loved you, I ruined both our chances at happiness."

"I would never have left you, not in a million years. I loved you," he said, a desperate note creeping into his voice, his hand half rising to her cheek.

"I know that now, but at the time I was so terrified you'd leave me. God! Every man I'd ever cared about left! I convinced myself that if I didn't say the words you wouldn't leave, that you'd stay with me forever. "

"Ah, Buffy," he sighed, pulling her into a hug.

"Don't Riley! I don't want your sympathy! I want you to understand!" Buffy cried, placing her hands on his chest and pushing hard, trying to get out of his embrace.

"I do! And I don't feel sympathy, I just wish you could have told me all this before. Why couldn't you just tell me what you were feeling?" He asked, tightening his arms around her.

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to see the real me," she cried.

"What real you?"

"The one that didn't feel like she deserved to be loved. The dark side of the Slayer."

Riley almost stopped breathing when he heard her say this. Her mission to discover herself and the hidden past of the Slayers had been responsible for this. The dark side that they had both flirted with had taken its toll on her, putting her heart in a dangerous position. What would she think if she knew what dark things he'd been doing? Even now he didn't like to think about that dark time in his life.

"I loved you! I thought you understood that. I thought you knew you could tell me anything and I would have still loved you."

"No, not her. She was so dark, that even I hated her. Remember that time in the car on the way to save Xander? The time when he was split in two?" She looked at Riley as recognition flashed across his face and he nodded his head.

"I asked you if you wished it had been me that had been hit, you know, making it two Buffys, instead of two Xanders. Remember. And you told me you loved me as a whole. I knew right then that you could never love the Slayer side of me."

Riley rubbed slow circles across her back as he pulled the conversation she was talking about from the dark recesses of his mind. He smiled grimly as he recalled the conversation. Riley meant it when he told her he'd accepted the Slayer part of her as much as the Buffy part of her. Loving her was a package deal. He didn't get to choose which parts he loved and which parts he didn't.

"You are so wrong. I fell in love with you the day you dropped those damn books on my head. Love at first sight I think they call it, or brain damage according to Forrest," they both smirked remembering Forrest's colourful expressions regarding their love life.

"Honestly Buffy, I was never prepared for what it felt like to love you, it scared me to death. Loving you was the most wonderful feeling I've experienced in my life. Waking up beside you and watching you sleep in my arms was the closest thing to perfection that I've ever experienced. You consumed me and I don't' think you've ever understood that," letting go of her, he took her hand and lead her to the leather couches at the opposite end of the room.

"Loving you also scared me to death because I knew one day I would lose you somehow. Everyday I would pray to God that today wasn't the day. Then you started to pull away and every time I turned around Spike was there, well, I couldn't take it anymore. I bailed before I lost you totally. I was a coward."

"Oh, Riley," Buffy said, stroking his face, "You could never be a coward in my eyes. I knew walking away from me was the hardest thing you'd ever done and there I was crying after you."

"You had a good reason, you were pregnant with my child."

"Maybe. But I'm at the point with this that I'm ready to explode. We both sit here blaming ourselves for what happened and the time that you've missed with Evan, but nothing can change that," she left her hand on his soft cheek and gazed into his blue eyes.

"We need to figure out how we are going to get through this together. I know you well enough to realise that now that you've met your son, you'll never let him go again. What are we going to do?"

"We've been together for what? Seven and a half-hours? The only thing I know right now is that no matter what, I love you and Evan. Sitting down by the harbour today, I realised that there was no way I could let either of you slip out of my fingers again. You and my son are too important to me. If I have to fight tooth and nail for this, I will. I need you now more than ever and I have a feeling you feel the same way," Riley looked at Buffy and she nodded her head still staring into his eyes.

"Okay then, we're in agreement. I, Riley Finn, being of sound mind love you Buffy Summers," he declared. Riley picked up her other hand from her lap and kissed it. Turning his face into the hand still pressed against his cheek, Riley kissed that one as well, making Buffy giggle.

"I, Buffy Summers, being of sound mind love you Riley Finn," she replied and leaning in, she sealed their pact with a gentle kiss.

"Don't ever leave me again, gorgeous," he smiled through his tears.

"Over my dead body, baby," she said, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I've missed this."

"What?"

"You and me. Just like this."

"Really?" She breathed out slowly as his lips caressed the soft spot right beneath her left ear.

"Mm-hmm," he replied as he continued to kiss his way up her neck.

"I thought you were hungry?" she asked him, trying desperately to keep her head about her. After all, the kids were just down the hall.

"Dessert will be fine," he said, pulling back just enough to move to her lips.

"I was thinking about the spaghetti."

"That can wait. I was thinking more of you right now," he answered as he lowered his lips to cover hers. The minute their lips met they both knew it was not going to be a simple kiss. The energy that had build up between them was overwhelming. At first the kiss was tentative, like they were trying to remember where their noses went but then as they settled into the kiss, Riley pulled her tightly against him, lifting her off the couch so she was practically laying on top of him. Buffy parted her lips and used her tongue to lick his bottom lip. Riley's own mouth opened sucking her tongue in gently until he heard her moan and he shifted so they were both now lying down on the couch.

Break away from the kiss she panted, "I… need to feel you."

Her fingers found the buttons of his shirt and her nimble fingers quickly undid them. Her small hands were against his skin the instant the shirt was open and he took a sharp intake of air as they found one nipple.

"They're still sensitive, huh?" She smirked before she started kissing her way down the column of his neck.

"Yes. Oh God!" He gasped as her lips found the same nipple her hands had been playing with seconds before. "You need to take this off," he said, pulling her turtleneck out her black pants.

"No, the kids are down the hall. Just pull it up," she told him, grinning at him as his mouth swooped down to claim hers again.

As their tongues found each other and their hands were pulling blindly at clothes, they became totally lost in each other until they heard a voice,

"Daddy? Are you in the here?" Riley pulled himself away from Buffy, trying to do the buttons back up on his shirt when Hope entered the room. She stood there looking at the two of them. Even to a six-year-old it was obvious that something had been going on. The look on her face nearly broke his heart as he got up off the couch and started towards her.

"I thought you said she wasn't going to be my new mommy!" Hope accused him before running down the hall in tears.

"Shit!" He exploded as he punched the wall closest to him.

"Uncle Graham!" Hope's little voice could be heard as she ran away from her father.

"Hope!" Riley yelled, leaving Buffy sitting on the couch by herself.

"Maybe you were right, Riley. This isn't going to be easy."

Buffy sat there for a couple of minutes trying to collect herself before she got up and went in search of Evan and the other children.

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