"Hope, honey tell Uncle Graham what's wrong, or I can't make it stop," he said rubbing her back and looking over the child's head at Riley.

"What happened?" Graham mouthed to Riley, but all he needed to see was the guilty look on his friend's face to know.

"Hope, please talk to me," Graham said softly, pulling her tighter against his chest. He wanted to shelter her from what was happening to her world but he didn't know if he could at this point. It hadn't even been 24 hours since Buffy had re-entered their respective lives and all hell was breaking loose.

"Make… her… leave."

Graham had to strain to hear what Hope had said through the torrent of her tears.

"Buffy?" He asked, afraid for an instant that she'd meant Willow.

The child shook her head slightly and buried her tear-streaked face even further into Graham's chest.

"Hope, please sweetheart, look at me," the anguish was evident in Riley's voice as he reached out for his daughter.

"No," she said, shaking her head again, hugging Graham tighter.

Graham glared at Riley, before he lifted the child into his arms and carried her into the living room.

Riley stood rooted to his spot staring at the floor. He felt as low as any human could feel and when he felt himself being pulled into Willow's embrace, he didn't resist but rather held on to her for dear life.

"It's okay Riley, she'll forgive you."

"I don't know Willow, I don't know."

"Her little world had already been turned upside down and now, in walks Buffy. Evan she can handle, a new big brother is cool, but a new woman in her father's life may take some adjusting to. Just give her time, Riley. Hope just needs time to get to know Buffy; she'll like her when she does. Tristan and Jordan already seem to," Willow told him with an encouraging smile.

"Really? They like her?" He asked as he felt a little spark of happiness light in his heart. She took Riley's hand and led him over to the staircase and they both sat down together.

"I'd say it's more like love. You should have seen Tristan with Buffy. It was hysterical! I think they're kindred spirits. Everything Buffy does, Tristan would copy. You sir, will have your hands full if they get together. And the way Jordan is with Buffy makes my heart warm. She hangs on Buffy's every word. The child needs a strong woman in her life, Riley. I know you have a nanny and a housekeeper, but this was different. It was like Jordan connected with Buffy."

"You're serious?"

"Dead. They both helped her with dinner and while dinner cooked, we hung out in the living room playing Christmas music. Tristan plopped herself into Buffy's lap and it was like the two of them belonged together. And watching Buffy with Tristan is just as sweet; it's so different than watching her with Evan. With Tristan, it's almost like she… hell I don't know! I can't find the words, but I had serious tears in these green eyes of mine. It was very touching. Jordan sat as close to Buffy as she could, without sitting in her lap too. Watching her with Jordan was pretty special too, it was like they bonded immediately. They seem to understand each other."

"Let me guess. Hope was no where to be found," he sighed as once again he was reminded that he'd just broken his little girl's heart all over.

"You're right. She was with Evan and wanted nothing to do with Buffy, or me, for that matter."

Maybe Buffy had been right before when they had talked about the picture gallery. Maybe Hope did need to know that life went on, that they had to move on past Claire's death.

"Thanks, Willow. I think I'll go talk to my daughter now. I've missed our talks," Riley leaned over and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You are still the best and if Graham lets you get away this time, I'll beat him with a shovel."

"It's a deal," Willow said, watching him get up to go talk to his daughter. Sitting here with Riley was like old times. It somehow seemed right, almost like time had stood still or something.

"Wanna come?" Riley asked as he offered Willow his hand and easily pulled her to her feet.

"Nope, I think I'll go find Buffy and see if she's okay."

"Oh God, Buffy! I'm such an ass!" He said, realising he'd totally forgotten about her.

"Leave her to me. You go talk to your daughter, that's what's important," Willow assured him, patting him on the butt and shooing him off to the living room.

"Hey, Riley?"

"Yeah?"

"I know the words I should have used."

"What?"

"They seemed like a family, you know, Buffy and the girls? They seemed like your family."

And with that bomb Willow walked away, leaving Riley to gape after her. Shaking his head he started off towards the living room, but he turned once more to look at Willow, who had just disappeared around a corner. He took a deep breath and entered the living room. Hope was sitting on Graham's knee and he was talking to her quietly. She'd stopped crying it seemed, but wasn't quite ready to play yet.

"Can I come in?" Riley asked, standing in the doorway.

"Should we let him?" Graham asked, looking down at his niece.

She shook her head and looked over at her father, her bottom lip began to quiver.

"Don't be mad at me, Daddy," she said, dropping her head again.

"Oh Hope, I could never be made at you. I love you to the moon and back, you know that," he said as he covered the distance between the doorway and his daughter in three quick strides. He sat down on the couch, wanting to take his baby in his arms but he knew she had to make the first move. As soon as he'd gotten himself settled back into the couch, Hope climbed from Graham's lap to his.

"See Hope, I told you," Graham said, watching Riley and his daughter.

"Why does she have to be here? I don't want her here with us. I don't want another mommy."

"Honey… Buffy is very special to me. Before I met your mommy, Buffy was the person that I loved, but I ran away from her and left her alone to raise Evan."

"Why?" She asked, shifting so she could get comfortable. Riley looked into the inquisitive eyes and smiled. Hope was so much like her mother, always needing to know everything. "Because I was hurt like you are now."

Hope looked up at her father in awe, awe that her daddy had ever felt hurt like she felt now.

"I was afraid to listen to what she had to say, so I ran away and never saw her again. That hurt me so much, until I met your mom," he said, absently twisting a piece of her auburn hair around his finger while she twisted his wedding ring around his finger on his other hand.

"I loved your mom, and it hurt me when she died, just like it hurt you."

"I miss her," Hope whispered as her tears started to flow again.

"I miss her too, baby. But your mom would not want us sad, and you know that. Remember how she use to love to laugh, well she'd want us to laugh again. We haven't laughed in a really long time, have we?" Riley said, feeling like the world's worst father because he'd missed the pain that Hope had been in.

"We laugh, but not like before. Your eyes don't laugh anymore."

"I laugh," he said, feeling the needed to defend himself.

"No, not like when mommy was here."

"You're right about that, pumpkin. But Buffy makes me laugh. She makes me happy sweetheart."

Riley felt like he was making some head way with Hope, until he saw her bottom lip start to tremble again. He could feel his frustration start to mount. He didn't know how to reach her. How did he explain this to a 6 year old?

"What is it Hope?"

"I don' want us to forget the fun we had with mommy."

"I don't want us to forget that either," Riley said hugging her tight, and he meant it. Riley knew Hope meant more than what she was really saying; she didn't want to forget her mother. Riley never wanted the girls to forget Claire either, or the life they'd shared before she'd died.

"But if we have fun with Buffy…" Hope's little voice faded off, afraid to even say it out loud.

"You think you'll forget mommy," Riley finished for her. He looked up to Graham for help, hoping his saviour had some answers for him, and as always Graham spoke up.

"Hope, do you remember your old best friend Kim that lived next door to you at the old house?"

"Yeah! She was fun! We made a house out of the old fridge box, remember daddy?" She said, bouncing on his lap clapping her hands together, the earlier tears forgotten.

"Sure I remember. You and Kim wanted to live in it, but Mrs. Scott and your mom wouldn't let you," he said, stroking his daughter's hair. He understood where Graham was going with this train of thought and left him to manage the situation.

"Yeah."

"Okay, and now you have a new best friend since you moved here, right?"

"Addison. She lives in the house next door."

Graham smirked.

"So you and Addison play now?"

"All the time."

"And do you still see Kim?"

"No, bust she's coming to my birthday party," Hope said, shaking her head.

"And we just thought about her right?"

"Yup," Hope smiled at her Uncle.

"Then why can't you think of Buffy and your mom sort of the same way. You have lots of memories of your mom and you had lots of fun with her, right?"

She looked up at her dad and then back at Graham shaking her head.

"And like… Addison, …Buffy and you can have new fun too. You can still remember your mom, and I would be happy to tell you all about her anytime you want to talk about her with me. I know for a fact your dad would too."

"Really?" She asked, doubting the simplicity of his idea.

"Something like that," Graham said, smiling at her.

"Sweetheart, Buffy only wants to be your friend. I don't plan on making her your new mommy today or even tomorrow but she will be a new and important part of both of our lives because of Evan. They need us all right now. Do you understand this?" "I'll try," she said, offering her father and uncle a slightly watery smile.

"That's my girl. I love you," Riley said, kissing the top of her head

"I have an idea," Graham said, hating to break the love in, but it was close to bedtime for the girls.

"Why don't you and the other kids get your p.j.'s on and we'll have story time in the den by the fireplace. I bet I can convince Buffy to make her famous hot chocolate," Graham watched as Hope's eyes lit up.

"There's no fire in the fireplace, " she said sadly. "I'll make one while you and the others get you p.j.'s on," Riley told her.

"Cool."

"Go tell the others and I'll be right there," Riley said, smiling at his daughter.

"'Kay!" She said, jumping down off his lap and running out of the room. A moment later she ran back into the room and threw her arms around her father.

"I forgot! I love you too, Daddy."

"How much?"

"To the moon and beyond, and back again," she whispered, leaning her forehead against Riley's

"Ditto. Now scram or I'll change my mind," he replied, kissing her nose.

"One minute!" She said, giving him her own version of her mother's glare. Climbing down from Riley's lap, she walked over to stand in front of Graham.

"I love you too, Uncle Graham, and Tristan was right. Don't leave us alone again that long!" Graham could feel his eyes getting a little misty as she threw her arms around his neck. "Right back at you, Red."

"Don't ever tell Uncle Marc or Kevin, but you're my favourite!"

With that, Hope ran out of the room to round up her brother and sisters.

"Gotta love em'," Riley sighed, watching as Graham tried to blink his unshed tears away.

"I do."

"I know. They'd be lost without you and so would I. I love you, man. Thanks again for saving my butt," Riley said, feeling suddenly awkward. As much as the two loved each other they rarely said it.

"Don't get all mushy on me or I'll kick your ass. How could you be so stupid to get caught with Buffy? Can't you two keep your hands off each other when the kids are awake?" He asked, trying to sound angry.

"Like you and Willow?" Riley laughed as he reached over to wipe Willow's lipstick off Graham's cheek.

"Busted! But at least they're not my kids."

"Things good between you and Willow?"

Riley watched the smile play across Graham's face. "Good."

"Good because I threatened to beat you with a shovel and I don't want to have to do that," Riley smirked at his best friend.

"Come on, you round up the kids and I'll start the fire."

"Wipe that smirk off your face, Finn," Graham growled at him.

"What smirk?" Riley asked, feigning innocence.

______________________________________________________________________ Willow found Buffy in the den with the other kids. Standing in the doorway, she watched the scene before her. Jordan and Evan lay side by side on the floor watching "A Christmas Story", while Buffy sat on the couch with Tristan sound asleep in her lap. "Asleep, I see."

"Yeah, she climbed up her as soon as I sat down. She cuddled and then fell asleep. Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Buffy whispered to Willow the awe clearly written on her face.

"The three of them are adorable, but don't get too close Buffy. What if this doesn't work out? It would be hard enough losing Riley, but I think it would kill you if you lost them as well," Willow warned, indicating the gift sleeping in her lap.

"I know, but it's so hard not too. Riley and I will work this whole kid thing out, don't worry. Hope will learn to love me," Buffy said determinedly, smoothing the blonde curly hair off of Tristan's face.

"I hope so, for both your sakes. He seems pretty smitten with you," Willow grinned knowingly at her best friend.

"Yeah… well, it's like they say about riding a bike I guess," Buffy said, acknowledging Willow's grin with one of her own.

"So she actually caught the two of you?"

"Not really caught, but she might as well have. Riley was climbing off me buttoning up his shirt, Buffy said, cringing as the scene played out in her head again.

"He's sorry he took off on you."

"Hey, he doesn't have to apologise. I would have done the same thing. Is he okay?" She asked, feeling awful for the man she loved.

"I don't really know. We talked in the hallway for a bit, he's upset, but…"

"It's my fault."

"It's no one's fault, and from the sounds of it, Riley was happy it happened."

"You think?" Buffy whispered hopefully.

"Well he didn't say it in so many words but a woman can tell," Willow whispered back to her smiling friend.

They sat in silence for a minute watching the movie until Willow noticed Buffy trying to stretch with Tristan asleep in her lap.

"I'll take her for you."

"No way. I love holding her. She's Riley's baby," Buffy said, love evident in her voice.

Riley none the less. >

"Guys, get your p.j.'s on! Dad's gonna read to us!" Hope hollered from the hallway.

"What?" Evan asked, unsure of what he'd heard.

"Dad reads to us every night. It's a rule here," Jordan told her brother matter-of-factly as she turned the VCR off.

"Really?"

"Yup, and since you're one of us now, lets go get our p.j.'s on!" Jordan said, getting up off the floor and reaching for her brother.

"Uncle Graham said Buffy could make her special hot chocolate for us," Hope said shyly as she met Buffy's eyes for the first time that day. There was a look in Hope's eyes that was at once scared and uncertain but offered a promise of friendship.

"That I can," Buffy said quietly to the little girl, hoping that maybe they could work this thing out between them. "Hot chocolate," a muffled, sleepy voice mumbled from her arms.

"That's what she said. I thought you were asleep?" Willow said, reaching over to tickle Tristan's stomach. It was so easy to see why she was Graham's favourite.

"Nope," Tristan yawned and smiled impishly at Willow and Buffy.

"I think it is well past someone's bedtime," Riley said watching his daughter in Buffy's arms from his vantagepoint in the doorway.

"No, Daddy! I want hot chocolate too," Tristan pouted at her father.

"Only if you get your p.j.'s on," Riley said firmly, making his way to the fireplace.

"Okay!" She agreed, scrambling off Buffy's lap.

"Uncle Cracker, can I have a piggy back ride?"

"Sure Trist-tie, but we have to stop by the kitchen first and show Buffy where everything is, ok?"

"Cool! Come on Buffy!" She exclaimed, racing back over to the couch to pull Buffy to her feet.

"I'm coming, Tristan!" Buffy was left almost breathless by the child's exuberance.

"One, two, three, up!" Tristan yelled as Graham swung her up on to his back.

"Hope?" Riley called to his middle child as she started to leave the room.

"Yes, Daddy?"

"Remember to bring the book down, ok? It's on the book shelf."

"Okay," said the little red head before racing from the room to catch up with the others.

Willow sat back down on the couch and watched Riley trying to start the fireplace. He seemed much more relaxed since their earlier conversation on the stairs.

"Did everything go okay with Hope?' She finally asked. The suspense was killing her.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure if she really understands yet, but she's promised to be nice to Buffy while she's here. And I promised not to either marry Buffy today or tomorrow, and not to man handle her in front of the kids. The last promise was to Graham, by the way."

At the mere mention of Graham's name he saw Willow's face light up.

"Graham seems really good with the kids," Willow remarked, trying to be nonchalant as she pumped Riley for information. "He's great, a real natural. Well, not a first. When Jordan was born, he didn't know which end was up but then, neither of us did really. By the time Tristan was born, he was in the delivery room."

Seeing Willow raise an eyebrow he continued: "I was out of town visiting a client and Claire went into labour early, so Graham was thrown into service. He was great! It was a long labour and he was with Claire the whole way through. It was Claire's idea to name the baby after Graham."

"After Graham?"

"Yeah, Graham Tristan Miller, hence Tristan," Riley said, forgetting that Willow hadn't known Graham as long as he had.

"If you can't tell, there's a mutual admiration society there."

"It's very obvious. His whole face lit up when he saw her tonight in the kitchen," Willow said, smiling at the memory.

"Don't get me wrong, he loves all the girls, each for her own reason, but Tristan's his favourite. He'll make an amazing father someday."

"I know."

"I don't know how I would have survived without him after Claire died. He was there for me every step of the way. There were days when I couldn't pull myself out of bed, and there he'd be, changing diapers and feeding them. He's the best friend a person could ask for."

Willow smiled at Riley, knowing that what he'd just said was true. Graham was the best. She decided in that second that she would do whatever it took to win his heart. She'd even leave acting and move to Boston if that's what would do the job. Yes sir, she would own his heart before she left for California or she'd die trying!

Part Fourteen

Except for the one light over the guest readers' head, only the fireplace and the Christmas tree lighted the den. The glow seemed to soothe everyone's damaged psyches as they listened to Willow read from the Harry Potter book and as Buffy glanced around the room, she noticed that the kids were not the only ones that hung on her every word. Looking over at Graham, Buffy saw a man totally and undeniably in love and other than the odd word Hope would whisper to him from her place on his lap, his full attention was on Willow. Riley leaned over a sleeping Tristan's legs and whispered to Buffy, "I never knew that Graham was such a Harry Potter fan."

"I don't think the book is what has his attention. I think it's the red head reading it," Buffy whispered back, a smirk on her lips.

"In all the years we've been friends, I've never seen him like this," Riley said, indicating Graham with a nod of his head.

"I know what you mean. I caught Willow with that look on her face earlier in the kitchen. You should have felt the sexual tension in the room."

"Really?" Riley said, squeezing her hand. The two had been holding hands since they sat down together on the couch but they carefully hid it by placing a pillow over the top of their hands. Hope was smart, but right now she was caught up in the story and they hoped she'd overlook the pillow lying on the couch between them.

"Oh yeah. Why didn't they both realise it years ago? Even when she was dating Tara you could see it. Do you know how upset she was when he left?" Buffy asked Riley, not really expecting an answer.

"Well, the night after you left, he came by to see me. Willow was there and I know they talked but she would never tell what was said. She was in tears. Do you have any idea what they talked about?" Buffy questioned, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand. Even just holding hands with him was wonderful. She'd dreamed of moments like this.

"No. But I knew something had happened because he was really quiet when he got back. Even more so than usual. I just thought it had something to do with you and me, and that he was mad at me. He didn't tell me Willow was there," Riley whispered, looking over at Graham who was whispering something to Hope.

"Graham strikes me as the type of person who plays his cards close to his chest," Buffy said, eyeing Riley even as he watched Graham.

"He usually is. The only person he'll talk to is me. He used to talk to Claire and they were quite close. Claire loved him to death; it was a brother/sister thing. Did you know it was Graham who introduced us?" Riley said, turning to catch Buffy watching him. His eyes locked with hers and he squeezed her hand again. The hand squeezing would have to satisfy both of them for now.

"Where did you and Claire meet? I want to know everything I've missed from your life for the last 10 years," Buffy told him and by the look in her eyes, Riley could believe her.

"We met in Virginia. She was with the Initiative. Claire was a doctor assigned to work with the agents."

"She knew then, about what went bump in the night?"

"Oh yeah. Long before I ever showed up. That was good though, because as you know, I was a bit of a mess when I first showed up in Virginia. I still have a couple of scars from those days. They are a constant reminder of my trip to the dark side of Sunnydale." Riley mused quietly on his past actions and Buffy saw a pained look slide cross his face and she wanted to make it go away just like she wanted to protect him from those memories.

"Don't worry, I don't spend a lot of time there these days," he replied almost as if he was reading her mind.

"I'm so glad to hear that. When I found out about the 'drive thru window' you had been operating, I was so… I don't know."

"Let’s not talk about this now. Not while the kids are still up, okay?"

Anyone who didn't know Riley would think he was fine, but Buffy knew differently and she could tell that his own dark period had left more than physical scars. Buffy bet that his mental scars could match her own.

Looking around the room her eyes fell on two matching blonde heads curled up on the floor. She smiled seeing Evan's hand holding his younger sister's. Since Jordan had taken Evan's hand in the hallway earlier that afternoon a special bond had developed between them. The two seemed to communicate without words; it was kind of spooky to watch. Willow had joked that maybe they were twins separated by the Powers That Be, but Buffy was starting to think that there might be some truth to Willow's statement. Nudging Riley with her foot she pointed to the kids with her toes.

"Is Jordan asleep?" he whispered, as Buffy craned her neck to get a look at her face.

"Think so," she whispered back.

"I think last night's sleepover was a little short on the sleep side," he smirked.

"Do guys have sleepovers?"

"Yeah, but we called them crashing at a friend's place."

"Oh," she said, watching her son in the fireplace's glow.

"He looks so much like you. Do you have any pictures of yourself at his age?"

"I'm not sure, but we can call my parents and ask them to bring them out for Christmas. I'll send you some." Riley paled a little as a new realisation hit him.

"Oh God, I guess I'll have to tell my parents."

The thought of having to tell them about his son left him feeling a little anxious.

"We can call them tomorrow if you'd like," Buffy said, trying to calm his anxiety.

"They could even speak to Evan. He's been really excited thinking that he's got a whole family he hasn't even met yet. How are your brothers?"

"Fine. Kevin and his wife Chris have 2 boys who are hellions, just like him and just as tall. Marc's still the swinging single guy. He works for us in Toronto."

"Marc's what, 26 or so? He would be a perfect age for Dawn," Buffy joked, thinking about her terminally single little sister.

"Yeah right. My brother and your sister, as if that wouldn't be a match made in hell," he laughed.

"Riley," Willow called quietly across the room to the couple.

"Yeah, Will?"

"Should I stop? Seems only Evan and Hope are awake."

"I think you're right. Hope, it's time for bed. Kiss Uncle Graham goodnight and say goodnight to Willow and Buffy."

Hope hugged and kissed Graham goodnight and then she did something that surprised Riley. She gave both Willow and Buffy a kiss on the cheek and said goodnight.

"Was that my child? Miss I Don't Kiss Strangers, Daddy?" Riley laughed, staring at the child's retreating back.

"Looked like her," Graham said, getting up to pick the sleeping child up off the floor.

"Want me to carry Jordy up stairs?"

"Thanks, Graham. Here Buffy, I'll take Tristan," Riley said, leaning in to take the child from her.

"No, I'll take her. It's been a long time since I tucked in anyone this little. You stay here, Dad," she said, smiling as she struggled to get up off of the couch with her tiny burden.

"Here let me…" Riley began to offer, but stopped when he saw Buffy glare at him.

"Okay, okay! She's all yours."

"Evan, I think you should be heading to bed too, mister. Say goodnight

to Willow and your Dad," Buffy called to her son. "Goodnight Aunt Willow. I love when you read to me; you're much more fun than Mom is," he said.

"Sorry, Mom," he told her when he noticed his mother's mock glare. Evan shrugged his little shoulders.

"Aunt Willow does the voices…"

"See you in the morning, tiger," Wiilow said, hugging him closely to her side.

Each time she hugged him, Willow noticed that he seemed a little skinnier, a little more fragile and she filed the hug away in her heart for later. Losing Evan would be like losing her own child.

Evan walked across the room and stood in front of his father. What was he supposed to do? Kiss him goodnight, shake his hand? Evan was confused and was happy when Riley answered his question for him by pulling him into a huge hug and giving him a quick kiss.

Riley wondered.

< I don't care. I have years to make up for. >

"Goodnight Evan. Sweet dreams," Riley told his son.

"And Graham? Could you also show Buffy and Willow where their rooms are while you're up there?"

"Sure thing, boss man, and I'll tuck Hope in, too," Graham called over his shoulder as he led the group out of the room.

"Ah! Now that's nice," Riley said, stretching out on the couch when they'd all finally left the room. Within seconds he was asleep, the events of the past few days finally catching up with him.

_________________________________________________________ Buffy came back down stairs half an hour later, having changed into her robe and satin p.j.'s. She knew that Graham was taking a shower, and Willow was placing a call to her agent in California, which meant she'd have some time by herself with Riley.

Buffy walked back into the den and stopped in the doorway when she realised that Riley was asleep on the couch. She used to love watching him sleep. He always looked so young and innocent, not unlike his own children did. She walked over to the couch and sat on the floor by his side. He looked so tired that she didn't want to wake him but leaving him to sleep on the couch was crazy.

"You had a horrible day, didn't you? I didn't want any of this to happene, believe me. I love you, baby," Buffy whispered, pushing the hair off his forehead and kissing it gently.

"I promise you everyday will not be like this. I promise you Riley, this will work." She gazed down at him and knew with every beat of her heart that she would not let him walk away from her again.

"I love you, Riley Finn."

"Love you too," he mumbled, pulling her down on top of him.

"Sleep now," he mumbled again, snuggling against her till he was comfortable.

Buffy stifled her giggles and stroked his handsome face.

"Riley, sweetheart, you need to go to bed. Come on, up to bed," Buffy said, trying to pull out of his embrace.

"Happy here," he sighed, pulling her back against him.

"No. I'm not letting you sleep here on this couch. It's too short for you, and your back will be screaming in the morning. Come on I'll tuck you in up stairs."

"No. Happy here, with you."

Buffy looked into his sleepy face and she could tell that he meant it. She sighed and let him have his way for the time being.

With one quick roll they were lying on their sides with Buffy pressed against him, her head on his shoulder. Riley nuzzled his face in her hair taking in the rich scent of her shampoo. He had figured with her success that the floral shampoo she'd used in college would have disappeared to be replaced by salon products but it smelled exactly as he remembered it. His fingers tangled in her silky hair, loving the way it felt against them.

"Riley, you really need to go to bed. You're exhausted," Buffy tried once more, her voice muffled by his chest.

"Only if you'll come with me," Riley quipped, as he kissed her forehead.

"You're awake?

"See what you do to me? I'm wide awake now."

"Really?" she said dangerously, as her little fingers found their way to the top buttons of his jean shirt.

"Wanna pick up from where we left off earlier?" she asked, as she slid up his body so they were nose to nose.

"Only if you promise that no one will interrupt us this time. Believe me when I tell you that it's not easy running after a crying child with a hard on."

"Why Mr. Finn! Such crude words coming from such a beautiful mouth," Buffy exclaimed as she shifted to kiss him.

"You didn't promise me," Riley reminded her, catching her bottom lip in his teeth.

"I promise. The kids are all asleep. Willow's on the phone with Roger, her agent, and Graham was going to have a shower. I'd say we have at least a half hour."

"Really," he replied, mimicking her earlier playful tone and untying the sash of her satin robe.

"Yup," she gasped as his tongue traced its way down her neck to the top button of her pajama top.

"So you promise me, then?" he said, as his nimble fingers undid the buttons and his tongue trailed its way down the freshly exposed skin causing goosebumps.

"Absolutely."

Buffy shivered as his mouth found her right nipple. He circled it with his tongue before taking it between his teeth.

"I'm so glad," he murmured before taking it fully into his mouth.

"BUFFY!!" Willow's excited voice could be heard in the distance.

"Shit!" Buffy cried as she quickly started to button her pajama top up again.

"Remind me to never believe you again, especially when you promise me something," Riley groaned, dropping his head back into the pillows of the couch.

"Buffy!" Willow bounced into the den with Graham hot on her heels.

"What!" she snapped in frustration.

"Uh-oh! Did we interrupt something?" Graham snickered from behind Willow.

"You know you did, Miller! Next time I'm locking you all outside so Buffy and I can have some alone time," Riley growled, sitting up next to Buffy and pulling her into his arms.

"I got the part!" Willow burst out excitedly.

"You got the part!" Buffy cried jumping off the couch and engulfing Willow in a huge bear hug. The women jumped around in circles as the men watched them, totally left out of the loop on the private celebration going on.

"I got it! Roger just told me. Ridley Scott wants me for the role! Can you believe it? My dream role!" she screamed, throwing her head back and laughing.

"What role?" Riley asked, reminding the girls that there were other people in the room with them.

"Only the most desired role of every actress in Hollywood! And I got it!" Willow crowed triumphantly, running and jumping into Riley's arms, totally catching him off guard.

"I repeat. What part did you get?" Riley asked again, laughing at Willow's exuberance.

"A remake of Casablanca! I won the Ingrid Bergman role of Ilsa Lund! It's my all time favourite movie. I know it all by heart!"

"Didn't she win an Oscar for that?" Buffy asked.

"No, she won Oscars for 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' and 'Gaslight'. It's a shame she never won the Oscar for Casablanca," Graham replied carelessly, smiling as he watched Willow jump up and down in front of him. Watching her now, in all her child-like glee, reminded him of the girl he knew in college, not the cool sophisticated actress she showed to the world.

All eyes turned to Graham as he finished his commentary on Ingrid Bergman's career.

"I'm a huge Casablanca fan, and I love Ingrid Bergman, so shoot me," he mumbled as they all broke out laughing.

"I beat out Charlize Theron and Cate Blanchett. Can you believe it? Oh my Goddess! I have to call Xander and Angel."

"I think this calls for champagne. Stay here while I go get it," Riley said, leaving the room and heading off in the direction of the games room.

"Who's playing Bogart's part?" Graham asked, placing his arms around Willow's waist from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder.

Buffy watched Willow stiffen and she knew instantly who had won Bogart's part. All along she knew who the front-runner had been and she wondered if Willow could work with him and not jeopardise her new relationship with Graham. After all, he'd only moved out of the beach house that they'd shared 6 months ago. Buffy prayed that he hadn't gotten the part after all and her intuition was wrong.

Willow looked over at Buffy and from the look on her face she had an idea of what her best friend was thinking. Willow gazed up at Graham and saw a look of expectation on his face.

Willow slid out of Graham's arms and crossed to the fireplace, feeling that she needed to put some space between them before she answered his question. Willow felt like she was betraying someone, but she didn't know whom. Was it the man who stood facing her now, who had always owned her heart, or the man she'd just broken up with? Taking a deep breath, she finally spoke.

"Russell Crowe."

"Wow, he'd be great in that role," Graham exclaimed, totally obvious to the looks passing back and forth between the two women.

"Can you two work together?" Buffy asked, concerned for her best friend's well being and forgetting that Graham was in the room with them.

"Yeah. We talked and we set some serious ground rules just in case I got the part. We know it's not going to be easy for either of us, but we both want to do the movie," Willow said quietly.

"Willow, this isn't just some guy! You lived together for two years! You almost married the guy, and now you're telling me that you know it won't be easy! Try it'll be harder than hell! The two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other the last time you worked together!" Buffy snapped, angry with Willow for taking the situation so lightly.

"That was different! We had broken up and playing lovers sparked feelings that were better left unsparked," Willow retorted, trying to defend herself. She sighed, hoping Buffy would drop the subject.

"It was a long time ago, Buffy."

"Oh yeah, in the grand scheme of things, 6 months is a lifetime!" Buffy replied sarcastically.

"Sometime it is," Graham interjected, wanting to remind the women that he was in the room with them.

Willow's head snapped around at the sound of his voice and she saw the impassive mask that Graham wore to cover his feelings. Suddenly it occurred to her just who she'd betrayed. He was standing across the room from her.

"Graham, that was a long time ago. We are very much over," she said, crossing the room to stand in front of him. "Like you and Buffy said, it was a lifetime ago."

Willow smiled, reaching for his hand but faltered as she saw a flash of pain in his blue eyes just before they turned back to the intense blue she was used to.

"Here's the champagne!" Riley said with a flourish as he walked into the room.

His enthusiasm waned a little as he noticed the tension that filled the room. What had he missed that had caused the celebratory mood to disappear in the short time he had been gone? Looking at Buffy for some sort of hint, she smiled sadly at him and shook her head slightly.

"I suggest we drink to this wonderful year and dance the rest of the night away," Buffy said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sounds like a wonderful idea," Willow replied, reaching for Graham's hand and following Buffy's lead. She could feel Graham closing himself off to her as she held his rigid hand in hers.

Riley poured the champagne into the flutes and passed them around. He tried to catch Graham's eye, but he was busy staring at a spot on the wall above the fireplace. Noticing the muscle in his jaw flexing, Riley knew Graham was upset.

"Here's to another Oscar for the greatest actress I personally know," Riley announced, raising his glass in a toast to Willow. During the clinking of glasses and sips that followed, Buffy had managed to find a couple of cd's to throw into the cd player.

"May I have this dance?" Riley said, bowing in front of Buffy, eliciting a giggle from her.

"Yes you may, kind sir," she said, placing her hand in his outstretched one. The two started dancing to the music, swaying to the beat and forgetting that Willow and Graham were standing behind them.

Graham looked sideways at Willow, hoping he'd been able to hide the pain he was currently in. Why would someone like Willow want him? God, she'd just broken up with Russell Crowe! How could he compare? Riley should have told him she was coming. He would have stayed in Colombia! Now the heart that had taken years to heal was on the verge of shattering all over again.

"Would you like to dance?" she asked tentatively, hoping he wouldn't reject her. She knew he wouldn't simply because he had always been an officer and a gentlemen and his sense of duty was still deeply ingrained in him, as were his manners.

"Sure," he said, taking her in his arms. Feeling her slight body against his, it felt so right, just like he'd always remembered it. Resting one hand on her back, he could feel her long hair tickling his hand and he wondered what it would feel like to have it tickle his bare chest. Shaking his head, Graham tried to stay focused on the task at hand, which was dancing with Willow and denying all thoughts that would cause him pain. Overhearing Willow's conversation with Buffy already caused that and from the sounds of it, competing with Willow's ex would be a waste of time. He'd end up losing her anyway. Maybe if he cut his losses now, Graham could save himself further pain and escape with a slightly bruised heart instead of a shattered one.

They danced for a while each lost in their own thoughts. Willow didn't know what was happening with Graham, but she was terrified she'd just lost him. She should have told him about Russell. Okay, she figured anyone who stood in a grocery store line would have seen their faces on the covers of the Enquirer and The Globe. Now she was losing the only person she'd truly loved all because of her habit of falling for her leading men. Granted that she'd always fallen for them during filming and by time the premiere rolled around she was single, broken hearted and wondering if she should pick up the phone and call Graham, but each time she stopped herself. Why? Why had she never made that phone call?

"What happened?" Riley whispered to Buffy as he witnessed Graham's coolness toward Willow.

"He overheard us discussing Willow's relationship with Russell Crowe," she explained, turning her head to look at the couple across the room.

"Ouch. Aren't they the latest incarnation of Paltrow and Affleck? Are they or aren't they a couple?"

"For awhile it was definitely like that, but I know they're over now. Guess who won Bogart's role? You get three guesses and the first two don't count. And of course being the good friend I am…" she couldn't finish the sentence. Somehow Buffy felt responsible for putting the crimp into Willow and Graham's love lives.

"Ah shit," Riley grimaced thinking of his poor friend. "Damn, and it looked so good for them this time."

"I know. Willow says she can handle Russell this time, and I know she's saying that because of Graham. I can't believe I stood there arguing with her about it, right in front of Graham!"

"Do you think she loves him?"

"I know she does, she has forever," Buffy sighed. "I just hate having to ruin a new shovel," Riley said, resting his head on top of Buffy's.

They had been dancing for a while when Graham finally pulled away from Willow. He wanted so desperately to hold her forever and never let her go, but he knew he could never do that to her. She was a star, there was no room for him in her life. It was best if he realised that now.

"Look all, I'm off to bed. I promised Sam I would go with her and the kids to see Santa at the mall tomorrow, then skating, so I need my beauty rest."

"I didn't know you had agreed to go with her," Riley said.

"Yeah, Tristan invited me the other day when I called home. Sorry. I forgot to mention it. Anyway, night everyone," he said, backing out of the room.

Willow stood watching him go and she fought the urge to race after him. She knew he needed time to understand her life and maybe she needed the time to figure her own life out, too. She swiped at the one stubborn tear that insisted on escaping down her cheek. Maybe they were never meant to be, but if that was the case why did it feel so right with him? Hadn't she decided to do what she needed to do in order to own his heart?

"Will, are you okay?" Buffy said, coming to stand beside her friend.

"Yeah. Maybe Graham's right, it's been a long day and I'm tired as well. Goodnight you two." She placed a kiss on Riley's cheek and walked out of the room.

"God damn him!" Riley exploded.

"We don't know what he's thinking about, Riley. Maybe he needs time to work this out for himself," Buffy said, putting her hand on his arm.

"No, he just shut the door on her. I've watched him do it his whole life. He's afraid she'll hurt him. Damn him!"

"Give him time, Riley," Buffy urged, hugging Riley and hoping that Graham could see past the conversation he'd just been an observer to.

"I hope you're right," Riley said, hugging her back as he yawned.

"I think you need to head to bed too," Buffy told him, rubbing his back.

Riley just nodded and mumbled something unintelligible that sounded like "you might be right".

"I always am," she said, taking his hand in hers. "Are you still going to tuck me in?" he asked, leering at her.

"Not the way you want to be tucked in," she retorted, swatting his arm.

"Can't blame a guy for asking." Riley shrugged his shoulders.

"I think I'll see if Gray wants to talk."

"Good idea." Buffy smiled as she leaned in to kiss him goodnight. How she wished she could wake up in his arms, but it was too soon for that, especially in light of the headway she'd made with Hope tonight.

"I love you," she said, marveling at how easy it was to say it to him.

"Love you too. Go on with you! I have to turn the lights out."

"See you in the morning."

Riley stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched her float up to bed.

After unplugging the Christmas tree and banking the fire, Riley wandered into the living room where he found Graham slouched in one of the wing back chairs.

"You okay?" Riley asked, sitting down opposite him. "Just came to a realization, that's all."

"Don't do that, Graham," Riley warned. "I did that once and look where it got me. Talk to Willow and try and figure this out. There's gotta be a way that you won't feel threatened every time she kisses some guy at work."

"It's not that, Rye. I just need to be alone for a while. I'll come looking for you when I'm ready to talk."

"Promise?"

"You got it."

Riley turned off the lights, leaving Graham to sit in the dark by himself.

Graham laughed to himself.

Leaning his head back, he sat in the dark trying to figure out if it was worth taking the risk. Could he risk losing her, or could he live with himself if he didn't take the chance that was presenting itself again? Sighing, he got up from the chair and headed to bed.

Part Fifteen

Willow hadn't slept much at all the night before and her head ached from the knowledge that she'd lost Graham before she'd even had him. She had tried crying herself to sleep last night, but it hadn't worked at all. Instead she lay in bed feeling heartbroken and lonely. Climbing out of the tangled mess of sheets, Willow stumbled into her on-suite bathroom and shrieked in horror at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. While her crying hadn't worn her out, it had sure left her with a case of puffy eyes and a red nose.

She eyed herself critically and then sighed in defeat. < Hell, even I wouldn't fall for that. >

She stalked back out of the bathroom toward her travel case to look for something to take the puffiness out of her eyes and cursed loudly when she found nothing.

< Great! Now the whole world will know I've been up all night crying over Graham! >

The house seemed fairly quiet as she made her way downstairs, but as she neared the kitchen she could hear that all the house’s occupants had gathered in the large friendly kitchen.

"Tristan, stop bugging your sister and sit down and eat," Riley said, reaching over to pour a glass of milk for Hope.

"Dad! She keeps looking at me!" Hope cried.

"Tristan, stop looking at your sister," Riley said evenly, resisting the temptation to throw his hands up in the air and scream at the two girls to get along.

"I'm not looking at her," Tristan pouted.

"Remember Santa Claus can see you pouting, Tristan," Evan reminded his youngest sister, feeling a little sorry for her. She was just really excited about going to see Santa, and well, truth be told, so was he. Evan didn't believe in Santa anymore, but this was a family outing. His very first, real, live family outing. Dad wasn't going to be going though, because he had a conference call from Australia waiting for him at the office. Apparently it was Monday there already, but the rest of them were going.

"Good morning, Willow," Riley said, smiling at the puffy eyed woman. He knew she'd cried herself to sleep, he'd heard her as he passed her room the night before.

"Morning, Riley. Morning, gang!" Willow said, putting on her everything is wonderful mask. She was an Oscar winning actress after all.

"Morning, Aunt Willow," Evan replied, happy to see his aunt was finally awake so he could share the day’s plans with her.

"We're going to see Santa and then we're going skating," he announced to her happily. Willow acknowledged this with a smile and a nod of her head.

"Hello! Anyone home?" a very feminine English voice called out in the hallway.

"Sam's home!" Hope yelled as she jumped off her chair and raced out to meet the nanny.

"Hope! Don't touch anything! You're sticky!" Riley yelled after her.

"Coffee, Willow?" Buffy asked as Willow stood watching the craziness going on in the kitchen. Willow didn't see Graham there for breakfast and wondered where he was until she saw him enter the kitchen with the beautiful nanny.

"Good morning, everyone!" Sam said, swooping down to give the other girls each a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey Sam, this is my brother Evan." Tristan proudly introduced her brother to the nanny.

Riley watched Sam's shocked expression with mild amusement until she turned around and looked directly at him. Buffy didn't miss the exchange and decided that this nanny was far too close to Riley for her liking.

"Sam, I suggest you and I have a little conversation before you take the kids out," Riley said to Sam. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I think you're right, Dr. Finn," she agreed, looking to Graham for some kind of explanation.

"Don't look at me," he cracked, moving past the stunned woman to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"I always look at you," she quipped, flashing a flirtatious smile at him.

"Yeah, and I always end up in trouble with your boss," Graham grumbled, as he flirted with the nanny. It was a hobby he'd taken a particular liking to, much to Riley's irritation. Graham gave Sam a wink as he turned to reach for the milk. His hand met another hand and judging by the sparks he felt, he knew it had to belong to Willow.

Willow pulled her hand away like she'd been burnt and he looked up into her eyes, noticing how red they looked. He wanted to kick himself because he knew he was responsible for the sad state that her beautiful green eyes were in. What was worse was that she'd heard him flirting with Sam! Graham was about to say good morning to her when she turned her back and walked away from him, effectively erasing his presence from her view.

"Aunt Willow, are you going to come with us?" Jordan asked, hoping that her new aunt would be joining them. "Buffy, Sam, and Uncle Graham are all coming."

"Sorry sweetheart, but I have to fly back to L.A. today. I have a deal that I have to sign off on."

No one was more shocked than Willow was at her own announcement.

"You can't leave, Aunt Will! You promised you'd do that puppet show with me this afternoon," Hope said, coming to stand in front of Willow.

Willow's heart ached. Not only was she being dumped but now she was disappointing the children as well. She hated herself so much at this moment. Looking down, Willow stirred her coffee, afraid to look any of them in the eye. She could feel Buffy's eyes burrowing into her back. She placed her coffee on the table and walked over to squat down next to Hope.

"We can still do the puppet show, Hope. I'll just get a flight tonight," Willow said gently, placing her hand on the little girl's head and smoothing her hair back.

"Good!"

Graham had felt like someone had punched him in the stomach when he heard Willow say she was leaving. It was his fault that she was going, and he didn't know how to take back the pain he'd caused her. How the hell was he going to stop her? He'd sat up all night trying to figure out what he was going to do about the situation and all he'd figured out was how much he loved Willow. Graham could no longer imagine his life without her, but he was so afraid that she would leave him again for someone else, just like she'd done with Tara.

"You know what, Jordan? I think I'll stay here and prepare for our puppet show. I'm not much into skating like the rest of you. Excuse me, will you? I have to call the airlines."

With that, Willow put her coffee cup down on the counter and walked out. She needed to get out of there! Between Graham's flirting with Sam and the look on his face when she announced that she was leaving, it was too much to handle.

She wandered down the hall past the den and found the indoor pool. Taking off her slippers, Willow sat down on the side dangling her feet in the warm water and looked out the glass wall to the large pool area outside.

How had her life become what it was? She was living a life that had her terrified of going out in crowds because of stalkers. Her nephew was dying and there was nothing her name or her money could do to save him and she was always alone because all the men that had entered her life were only there for the fame her name gave them. Russell had been the only one she could have pictured herself spending the rest of her life with, but over time that too had changed. Now the only man she wanted to spend her dying days with wanted nothing to do with her. Placing her head in her hands, Willow sobbed her heart out. Maybe going back to California and putting some distance between her and Graham was the only thing she could do to help heal her heart and once she stopped crying, she'd call the airlines and book a flight for that night.

______________________________________________________________________ Graham followed Willow discreetly out of the kitchen. He needed to talk to her. He had no idea what he was going to say but he really needed to be close to her, to hold her in his arms. His heart was aching just as much as hers appeared to be and he'd acted like a spoiled brat last night. If nothing else, he needed to apologise. Kissing strange men was part of her job, whether he liked it or not. It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps that was another reason he never watched her movies.

He watched her walk into the poolroom and followed at a safe distance. She'd been in the room a couple of minutes before he made his way toward her. Graham watched her sitting on the side with her feet dangling in the water and from the shaking of her shoulders he knew she was crying. He was about to rush in and beg her forgiveness when he felt a hand on his arm. Turning, he saw Buffy standing there.

"Let her be, Graham. She needs to be alone," Buffy said gently, trying to calm his frazzled nerves. It had been easy to see when he came downstairs this morning that he was an emotional mess. Riley had told her that he'd tried to talk to him last night, but that Graham had asked to be alone.

"I can't stand seeing her like this, Buffy! I hate making her cry," he said, leaning his head back against the wall and blinking back the tears in his own eyes.

"When have you made her cry before?" Buffy asked, her suspicions about the night he visited their house rising in the back of her mind.

"The night I asked her to marry me," he said as he turned and walked down the hall, away from Willow.

Buffy stood sputtering after him in shock. He'd asked Willow to marry him? She wanted to run after him, but her feet were glued to the floor. Willow needed her right now and that was more important than getting to the bottom of this new mystery. Was that what had happened the night they'd spoken out in the backyard? Had his proposal been the cause of her tears for weeks afterwards? Had it been responsible for her breaking up with Tara two months later? Suddenly everything made sense. Graham's proposal had been exactly what Willow had needed, but she'd been too stubborn and frightened to admit it to herself or anyone else. Tara had been a mistake, an experiment, while Graham would have been her life. Buffy now understood why she was taking this so hard. Pushing open the glass door, she entered the pool area.

"I want to be alone," Willow sniffed, knowing that it was Buffy coming in.

"Too bad, I'm not letting you," Buffy replied, kicking off her own slippers and sitting down beside her friend.

"Why didn't you ever tell me that he asked you to marry him that night?"

"What?" Willow exclaimed, shocked that Buffy knew about the secret Willow had walked around with for 10 years.

"Graham just told me," Buffy said simply as Willow dropped her head onto Buffy's shoulder.

"For the longest time, every time I thought about it, my heart would break just a little more. The only person I ever told was Angel. I told him the night he drove me to the Betty Ford. I knew he'd understand," Willow explained, her tears running freely over her cheeks.

"I would have understood," Buffy said quietly.

"No, you wouldn't have. Maybe Riley would have, I don't know." Willow shrugged her slim shoulders and turned to face her friend. "You were the one that was left behind twice, once by Angel then by Riley. But I was the one who said no. Even though I knew I was letting the greatest man I'd ever met get away, I'd said no. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd been wrong about my relationship with Tara. I loved them both, but I thought that Graham would be the one to hurt me, but in the end it was Tara."

"I'm so sorry."

"And now I'm back at square one with him again. I've hurt him, and he's angry. Now I have a matching set of memories of how I've hurt him. He's better off without me," Willow said sadly. "You're probably right. I'm bound to cheat on him, you know how Russell and I are."

Willow cried, feeling like her heart had been savagely ripped out of her chest. Why was she always doing this to him, to herself?

"You know you'd never cheat on Graham, Willow. I know you love him too much. I was so stupid and thoughtless to have even implied that last night. I'm so sorry," Buffy cried, throwing her arms around her sobbing friend.

"It doesn't matter anyway. He doesn't care about me. Did you see him flirting with Sam?" Willow said, feeling a little angry. She got up from the side of the pool and slipped her feet back into her slippers.

"If he doesn't care about you, why did I have to chase him away from here? He wanted to talk to you but I asked him to leave you alone, give you some time to think," Buffy said, also rising to her feet.

"Maybe to tell me good riddance!" Willow retorted. "You know, don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"No. He loves you, Willow. Give him and yourself a break," Buffy said, giving her friend a quick hug before turning to leave.

______________________________________________________________________ Riley sat by himself in his office, staring out the window. He hadn't been truthful when he'd told the kids and Buffy that he needed to go into the office for a conference call. He'd had a meeting, but it hadn't been work related. He'd just finished meeting with Steve Bishop, the head of the Oncology Department at Boston General Hospital. Steve was one of Riley's golf buddies and a top-notch specialist. Graham had placed the call yesterday afternoon asking Steve to meet with Riley.

Riley wanted to know what he should expect from Evan's illness and what options they would have. Steve had told him that without Evan's case history in front of him, it would be hard to tell him but he'd outlined roughly what to expect. The doctor had explained how the donor testing was done and Riley had expressed concern for his daughters' well being. The procedure was painful and he worried about the girls going through it but nothing out-weighed the agony he would feel if he lost Evan.

A light knocking on his office door interrupted Riley's thoughts. With the type of work that they did, there were no 9 to 5 hours here, rather the office existed on round the clock shifts.

"Come in," he called. Riley heard the door open and turned around to find the most unlikely person standing there. Willow.

"How did you get here?"

"I took a cab after everyone left. I needed to talk to you when no one else was around so when I heard you had a meeting this morning, I decided to come here. I've been waiting for an hour, since that man left. I've just been sitting in the lobby giving you time to wrap up any last minute strings. Can I come in?" Willow knew she was starting to babble. It was a habit she'd broken after she'd appeared on David Letterman and made a fool of herself. Most of America thought she'd been cute but the agency that represented her thought she'd sounded like an idiot. A week later they sent her off to some sort of finishing school for actresses.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Wills. Of course you can come in," Riley said, getting up from his leather chair and ushering her to the couch in front of his desk.

"Nice place," she said, looking at the pictures of the kids all over the place. "Very you."

"Thanks, but I know you didn't come here to see my office, so spill." "I'm lost," she said simply, laying her head in his lap. Riley knew exactly how she felt. He'd always felt a special kinship with Willow. They were two lost souls trying to navigate the world and now, sitting here with her in his arms, he felt like someone had just thrown him a lifeline. Here was someone who needed him, someone that he could help. Riley Finn was not a man who did helplessness well. He could help Willow in her fight for Graham, but he could not fight his son's illness. He was grateful to have something, anything to do.

"It's okay, Will. I'll help you find your way back to Graham, I promise you," he said, stroking her back as she cried. He wished he could join her in crying, but one of them in tears was enough right now.

"How?" she asked, sitting up and rubbing at her nose, looking for all the world like one of his girls.

"Let me think about it. Why don't you let me take you to lunch for now? What time is your flight?"

"Nine thirty tonight," she sniffed.

"By the time I'm finished with Graham, he won't let you near that plane. Do you trust me?" Riley asked. He wasn't sure what he was going to do but he knew it would have to be fast and it would have to be effective.

"I trust you with my life, Riley. Why else do you think I came here?" she said, smiling through her tears.

______________________________________________________________________ The kids, Buffy, and Sam were in the kitchen making lunch and Graham was on his way out the door when the phone rang. To be more precise, he was on his way home.

"I'll get it," he yelled from the front hall, hoping that it was Riley. He'd been worried about him but he couldn't wait around forever and he wanted to be out of the house before Willow returned from wherever it was that she had gone.

"Hello? Finn residence."

"Can I speak to Riley, please," asked an unfamiliar male voice.

"I'm sorry, he's not in right now. May I take a message for him?"

Graham was trying desperately to place the voice. "Graham?"

Then it hit him.

"Xander?" he asked as he finally placed the voice and the younger man's image came to mind.

"Yeah. How are you?"

From the distracted tone of his voice, Graham knew that Xander really wasn't interested in the answer.

"Xander, what's wrong?" he asked immediately.

"We have a bit of a problem here and I need to make sure that Willow's okay," he said hurriedly.

"She's fine, why?"

Whatever it was it concerned Willow, and Graham felt his stomach tighten.

"Last night, her place was broken into and torn apart. I don't know if you know, but she's being stalked. The police and Angel are concerned about her safety and, as you can imagine, so am I. The guy destroyed her house. The police aren't sure how he got past the security system, but he did. He did horrible things to pictures of her, he wrote lovely notes on the walls about what he wanted to do to her in blood. Very Charles Manson. The worst part is what he did to her bed. Graham, the cops figured he stabbed her mattress over 200 times. I thought the letters he sent her were harmless but I'm terrified for her."

Graham tightened his grip around the receiver. How could anyone do this to his Willow?

"Oh my god! The police think he would have attacked her if she'd been home," Graham said flatly as he swallowed down the bile that had risen in the back of his throat.

"Exactly," Xander said, glad that the ex-commando was on the same page as the rest of them.

"God!" He needed to sit down. Willow could have died last night, if she hadn't been with them here in Boston and now because of him, she wanted to go home.

"We need you to keep her there in Boston. Roger, her agent, and Angel are having a top of the line security system installed as we speak and the cops are hoping they can find some clue as to who this sick bastard is."

Graham was only half listening to Xander, instead picturing Willow lying in a pool of her own blood, covered in stab wounds. He thought was going to be sick, so he kept taking deep breaths to steady himself.

"I know how you feel. I puked when I heard."

Graham was grateful that Xander understood how he felt. "I'll do whatever I can. I'll tell Riley and Buffy but who's going to tell Willow?" Graham asked tentatively.

"One of you guys I guess, but we don't want her rushing home. Make sure she's with one of you every minute of the day. The police aren't sure if this psycho knows where Willow's gone."

"Look Xander, call us if you hear anything else. Don't worry about Willow. She's safe here."

"Thanks, Graham. I'll talk to you soon," Xander said and hung up the phone.

"What's that about Willow being safe here?" Buffy asked, coming up behind Graham and making him jump.

"Don't ever sneak up on me!" he exploded at Buffy, forcing her take a step back. Seeing the anger and fear in his eyes, she knew something was up in L.A. regarding Willow.

"Why is she safer here, Graham?" Buffy grabbed hold of his arms and gave them a strong yank. Graham winced. Even without her Slayer powers, Buffy was still very strong.

"Her stalker vandalised her house last night. Xander says he tore the place apart and stabbed her mattress over 200 times. The cops and Angel are looking into it right now."

Seeing Buffy pale and stagger, Graham guided her to the stairs and sat down with her.

"Oh my god!"

"My words exactly," he said, holding her shaky hand in his own shaky hand.

Just then the front door came flying open.

"Graham help!" Riley screamed, carrying a lifeless Willow in his arms.

"Willow!"

Both Buffy and Graham yelled rushing to the redhead's side.

Part Sixteen

They had just finished having lunch and Riley had convinced Willow to wait a couple more days before she returned to L.A. He made her see that she needed to show Graham that she loved him, and that whatever came up Willow and Graham could face it together. That's if they both truly loved each other as they kept swearing they did. Riley had told Willow that he would help her plot her seduction of Graham, and by the time they were through with Graham, he'd be begging Willow to marry him.

Lunch with Willow had been fun and it gave them time alone to really talk and catch up with each other. Riley listened as she talked about her success and her fears and she asked him about Claire and how he'd managed to raise the children alone. Willow filled him in on Xander and Anya's life. She had him in stitches as she recounted for him their strange wedding. Riley had been thrilled to hear that Giles had finally woken up and noticed Joyce Summers for the remarkable woman that she was. He had often wondered why Buffy's mom and the Englishman never seemed to notice each other. To him they had always seemed destined for each other.

Riley found himself slightly annoyed when their private lunch was interrupted by Willow's fans requesting a moment of Willow's time. He smiled as he watched Willow sign autographs and pose for pictures with the owner of the restaurant and a guest. Riley found it hard to believe that the woman in front of him was the same dear, shy girl he remembered, especially when he was faced with the very public persona of Willow Rosenberg, actress. He could tell she was grateful when the manager finally asked other guests to respect Ms. Rosenberg's privacy and allow her to finish her lunch without interruption.

Riley hadn't felt this light and happy in months, but all that ended when they had walked into the parking lot. He'd offered her his arm because he knew how icy the place could get, but she'd laughed telling him that she was afraid she'd pull him down as well if she did fall. Walking slowly, they had made their way to his Lexus, and that's when it all happened.

Riley had walked around to the driver's side and was opening his door when he saw her slip. He didn't see Willow slip on the ice in the parking lot, but he heard her head smash against the fender of the car parked next to them, and then the loud thump as her head cracked against the frozen concrete. Riley had rushed around the car and was horrified by what he saw; there was blood everywhere! On the bumper of the car she'd hit and all over the ground from where her head had made contact with the parking lot. She was out cold. He tried shaking her and calling her name, but there was no response. He reached for his cellphone and then remembered he'd left it in the Land Rover yesterday. Taking off his coat he placed it over Willow and ran to get help, but it was Sunday and the parking attendant was gone for the weekend. He had stood in the empty parking lot and started to panic. The closest hospital was 20 minutes away and Riley knew that there was a severe shortage of staff in the Boston hospitals. He feared that they wouldn't find someone to look at her in time. In his blind panic and personal dislike of hospitals, Riley decided that the only option was to get Willow home.

Riley didn't know how he managed to drive home. He held Willow's cold hand in his and begged her to be all right. Seeing her lying there, unconscious and pale, brought Claire's death rushing back to him. Claire had died from a head injury, and now Willow had smashed her own head wide open.

"Please Willow! Open your eyes and look at me," he begged her, praying to God that she'd be all right.

Now, standing in the front hallway of his house, he knew that they'd be okay. He held Willow in his arms as Graham and Buffy rushed to his side and he could hear the fear in their voices, but mistook it for concern over Willow's present unconsciousness.

"Oh my God! Willow!" Buffy cried, reaching to touch Willow's face.

"What happened?"

Graham could feel the panic and fear rising in him, he knew someone needed to stay calm, to take control of the situation, and that it had to be him.

"Riley give her to me," he demanded, taking Willow's still form from his dazed and shaken friend.

Graham held her against him and he could feel her breath on his cheek and her heartbeat against his chest.

"Buffy, take Riley into the library and get him a glass of something strong, and make sure he drinks it. There is a telephone book on the desk. Look up Dr. Steven Bishop and tell him what's happened. Tell him I need him to come here."

Buffy merely nodded her head, looking back and forth between Willow and Riley.

"Go now, Buffy," Graham said, indicating with a curt nod of his head.

"Sam, keep the kids occupied. Take them out back to play in the snow or something, but don't let them know what's happening," Graham ordered the nanny without looking. He knew was standing behind him because would Sam have responded to Riley's yell as well. She had been a wonderful operative and now she served Riley and his daughters with the same loyalty and skills that had made her part of Graham's A team.

"Sure thing, Graham. I'll get the kids busy, then I'll bring up a wash bowl, some bandages and clean towels."

"Thanks Sam," he replied as he took the stairs two at a time, holding Willow as tightly as he could against him. Her breathing seemed shallow and he was starting to panic. Taking a few slow deep breaths, he tried to calm himself down. Giving in to the light-headedness that was overwhelming and passing out would not help matters! He headed down the hall and pushed open his bedroom door. He moved quickly to the bed and placed Willow down. Mrs. Drake, the housekeeper, was used to finding Graham's sheets or clothes splattered in blood and other unmentionables. God only knew what the woman thought of him!

Graham knelt down on the floor next to Willow and brushed her blood soaked bangs from her forehead. The cut looked deep, but it was hard to tell, head wounds bled horribly even when the cut was small. He wished Sam would hurry up with the first aid kit, and in the next instant he was cursing Steve for taking so long. He was growing impatient and wished they would step on it, after all this was the love of his life they were dealing with!

"Come Will, open those beautiful green eyes of yours. Come on honey, look at me," Graham whispered, pressing her cold little hand to his lips. Reaching to touch her other hand he noticed it was cold as well, so he pulled the comforter over her, trying to warm her up. His panic increased as he realised she was slipping into shock.

She looked so frail and pale lying in his big bed. He wanted to crawl in next to her and hold her, but he knew that until a doctor saw her, she was better left alone. He let go of her hand and felt for a pulse. It seemed a little on the weak side to him, but he didn't know if that was normal for her. Sliding his hand up her cheek, he caressed it, praying to god she'd open her eyes any second and say she was just acting. Looking down at her he knew without a shred of doubt that he would never leave her side again, Russell Crowe be damned!

Sam stood in the doorway and watched Graham with the little redhead. She hadn't really gotten a good look at the woman as she'd practically flown out of the kitchen this morning, so she was having a hard time understanding why Dr. Finn and Graham fawned over her. Sam knew that when Graham was around, she was never as observant as she should be and she prayed that Dr. Finn didn't noticed how she fell apart whenever Graham was around.

Now watching Graham tending to the woman, she felt herself growing jealous. Sam had a thing for Graham. It had started the very day he'd recruited her from Oxford. Graham was a hard man to get to know, but working for Dr. Finn had given her that opportunity. She'd flirted with him all the time and even though he'd flirted back, that's where it had ended. She knew he dated a lot, it was a constant joke between the two men, but there was never a real steady and this was part of the reason Sam had begun to question his sexuality. Yet here he was with this woman and he was so gentle with her, and the way he looked at her… he never looked at Sam that way. Graham loved this woman, but who was she besides Aunt Willow? Sam was determined to find out because there was no way she was going to lose Graham to this little woman.

Coming back to reality, Sam cleared her throat to let Graham know that she was there.

"Oh, great, Sam. Could you put that stuff on the night stand so I can clean her up," Graham didn't look up as he addressed her but rather kept his eyes on the woman in his bed.

"Do you need anything else?" she asked stalling. Sam knew he was upset and she didn't want to leave him like this alone.

"No, we're fine. Could you check on Riley? He seems a little out of it. Check to see if he took a bump on the head or something too. Thanks, Sam," he said turning around again to tend to Willow. She had been dismissed.

"Come back to me, Willow. I need you," Sam heard him whisper as he stroked the other woman's cheek.

Leaving the room, Sam's heart broke. So this was the woman from college, who'd broken Graham's heart years ago? Was this Willow the love of Graham's life, the one that Dr. Finn had spoken about the other day? Sam could feel herself growing angry. No man ever turned his back on her! Who was this Willow! Willow didn't seem like much to her, what type of name is Willow any… Oh my God. The realisation hit her like a ton of bricks. It's Willow Rosenberg up there in Graham's bed! Sam was suddenly excited at the idea of having the actress in the house, yet crushed and angry as well. There was no way Graham would give her the time of day now

Graham dipped the face cloth in the bowl of warm water and gently cleaned the blood off Willow's face. The cut seemed to be in her hairline, so it wouldn't show the scar but Graham figured she'd need several stitches to close it. Graham needed to clean the wound on the back of her head so he slid one hand under her neck and put the other hand on her hip. Carefully he rolled her towards him, pressing her face against his chest. Cautiously he probed for the wound, his fingers finding it just as he heard a low moan coming from Willow. Graham quickly pulled his hand away from the cut and rolled her back to her previous position, which elicited another low moan from her.

"Willow? Sweetheart?" he said, caressing her face.

"Gray?" she mumbled, leaning into the comfort his hand gave her.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm goin' take care of you, just lie still okay?" he said softly, thanking God that she was conscious again. His hands probed down her body looking for other damage and it was a few minutes before she spoke again.

"Hurts," she mumbled.

"I know. Where does it hurt? You need to tell me," he said, smiling as he felt her touch his arm to stop him.

"My head and my ankle mostly," she moaned, wincing slightly as she tried to move the offending ankle.

"Right one?" he asked reaching down to touch it.

"Ow!" she cried as his hand made contact with it.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said, trying to smile as her head started pounding and she had the sudden urge to throw up. She rolled over quickly and seeing this Graham reached for the bowl that Sam had brought in. Willow retched into it and then rolled back over. She was going to wipe her mouth on the back of her hand when she felt a warm facecloth touch her mouth.

"Thank you," she muttered as her eyes started to close.

"Come on, Will. Stay with me here," Graham said, realising she must have a concussion. Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to focus on him and she smiled sleepily at him. She thought she saw love in his eyes, but the way she felt right now, she wasn't even sure who she was!

"Try," Willow mumbled reaching up to touch his check, but instead her hand made contact with his lips. They felt so soft and warm and she tried to remember through her foggy brain what they had felt like when he kissed her.

Graham watched her with pure concern on his face. She had a concussion, there was no doubt about that and with her little hand pressed to his lips, he wanted nothing more than to kiss it and make it better for the both of them. He couldn't help himself as he kissed her fingers before reaching up to pull her hand down.

"Like that," she slurred, trying to figure out which of the three Grahams in front of her was the real one.

Just then Graham heard voices coming up the stairs towards them. He sat back and waited for the others to join them.

"Hey, Gray. Is this my patient?" Dr. Bishop asked as he entered the room.

"Yeah, this is her," Graham replied, pushing himself up from his kneeling position to make room for the doctor to look at Willow.

Buffy stood at the end of the bed cringing at the mess Willow was in. Graham, she noticed, had cleaned up the blood that had been running down Willow's face, which made it easier to see the cut and the bruise and bump over her eye. Willow was going to have a beautiful black eye from the look of things.

Graham moved over to the end of the bed to stand next to Buffy. She could feel the tension coming off of him and took his hand in hers to offer him comfort.

"I know what you're thinking Graham, but she's fine. Riley was finally able to tell me that Willow slipped on the ice in the parking lot and smashed into a car."

"Not…" he said, trying to grasp that it had been slipping on the ice and not her psycho stalker that had done this to her. He let out a deep breath and felt himself starting to relax.

"Yeah, not that. She just slipped on the ice," Buffy said ,squeezing his hand.

"When I first saw Riley carrying her in, I thought she was dead. And he was just covered in so much blood, I thought she'd been shot or something."

"She's okay, now," Buffy soothed, hugging Graham as his fears subsided into tears. Since Willow had walked back into his life 24 hours ago, he had found himself crying more than he had in 10 years. He hadn't even cried this much after Claire died.

After getting off the phone with Xander, then seeing her lying apparently lifeless in Riley's arms, he'd assumed the worst. He'd thought he'd lost her, and in that first 5 minutes or so before he got her up here, he was ready to die right along side her. Graham knew that there was no way he could ever let her go. She was his life.

"How's Riley?" Graham finally asked.

"He's fine, he went to change. He'll be in when he's done. Gray, he feels horrible about this," Buffy said, placing her hand on Graham's arm.

"Why should he? It was an accident."

Graham didn't understand Buffy's apology on behalf of Riley.

"He knew he should have taken her to the hospital, but he panicked," she said, staring at Willow.

"I know he has a hard time with hospitals since Claire passed away. When Jordy fell off her bike last year, Sam and I took her to the hospital. Riley has this fear of hospitals that makes him do crazy things. While we sat in Emergency, he paced the parking lot."

"I know how he feels. Every time I had to take Evan for an appointment or his chemotherapy, I'd almost be physically ill. It was horrible."

"You two have more in common than I thought," Graham joked, trying to make a little joke, but failing miserably.

"Too bad, it's all the bad stuff life has thrown at us though," she sighed, totally missing Graham's attempt at humour.

The two stood in silence watching Steve check Willow out.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Willow Rosenberg."

"Your address?"

"2250 Park Manor…. I'm sorry I can't remember the whole address."

"Do you know the date?"

"I'm usually not very good with dates, but I know it's the 2nd Sunday in December."

"Good enough."

"Do you know where you are?" he asked, checking her pupils.

"Graham's bed," she answered, then blushed as the words sunk in.

"Is this your bed, Graham?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes it is," he replied, suddenly feeling slightly embarrassed under his friend's amused scrutiny.

"Well I guess you’re right then, Willow," Steve laughed.

She smiled up at the doctor, then down at Graham at the foot of the bed. She loved it when this self-assured man blushed. It was one of the things that drew her to him 10 years ago.

"Well I would wager a really good guess that you, Ms. Rosenberg, have a mild concussion. The cuts on your head I can stitch up here, but we'll need an x-ray of that ankle. I'd say it's broken. I'll make arrangements for you to go into the hospital first thing in the morning for an x-ray and a cast. The way it's swollen right now, there's no way they'll put a cast on it today. Keep putting ice on it, and I'll give you some pain killers."

Steve pulled out his pad and wrote down a prescription. "Have Riley get this filled," he said, handing it to Buffy.

"Okay," she replied and left the room in search of Riley.

"All right Willow, I'm going to give you a local so I can stitch these cuts up, okay?" Steve asked her, looking into a pair of unfocused green eyes, but even unfocused they were beautiful.

"You're the doctor," she said, trying to smile through her pain.

_________________________________________________________________ Riley got back from the drug store to find Buffy and Steve sitting in the living room. Taking off his coat, he noticed that they appeared to be in a deep conversation as neither acknowledged his presence. Deciding that whatever it was they were talking about didn't warrant his involvement at this moment, he took the stairs two at a time to get the pills to Willow. He pushed open the door to see Willow sound asleep and Graham sitting by her side, sprawled out in the big winged back chair that usually sat in the opposite corner of the room.

"She okay?" Riley asked, not taking his eyes off Willow, as he handed Graham the pills.

"Concussion, and possible broken ankle. Are you okay?" Graham asked, looking at his friend's concerned face.

"Sure. Just concerned about Willow, that's all," he replied trying to sound casual.

"I know you freaked out today, about taking Willow to the hospital. How are you ever going to manage Evan in the hospital?" Graham turned in his chair to look at Riley.

"I don't think I have much of a choice, do I?" Riley asked, leaning against the dresser.

"Have you talked to Bryan since any of this started? He helped you after Claire died. Maybe having someone to talk to will help you again," Graham said slowly, afraid that what he had to say would send Riley screaming from the building.

"You don't think I'm handling this well, do you?" Riley said, running his hand through his blonde hair.

He knew Graham had a point. Bryan, his therapist, had helped a lot after Claire died, but this was different. How could he explain to anyone exactly what he was feeling when he himself was still trying to figure it out? He was feeling so many different things: sheer happiness at having Buffy and his son in his life, guilt for having walked away from her all those years ago, anger at both himself and Buffy for letting their relationship fall apart in the first place and the guilt of cheating on Claire, even though he really wasn't, Hope's difficulty with accepting Buffy because Riley had always told the girls it would just be them against the world. On top of that, he added Willow's accident and he really was just barely hanging on.

"I didn't say that, Rye. I just think that if I'd gone through what you have in the last 48 hours, I'd be in some bar somewhere getting drunk."

"Bullshit. You are the strongest person I know, Gray. Look what we've been through, you were always the strong one, the person that always managed to keep us all together."

"It's an act, Rye," he said, shaking his head with a bitter laugh.

"Do you know how often I sat by myself at night, here in this room or in my own apartment and cried my eyes out? Times when I thought I was going to lose you, or when I thought how much I gave up the day I walked out of her life."

Willow turned in her sleep and the blankets slipped from around her shoulders. Reaching over, Graham tucked them around her again and smoothed her hair.

"You're great actor then, Gray," Riley said, reaching out to put a hand on Graham's shoulder.

"Yeah, Oscar caliber," he smirked up at Riley

"You know I'm here for you, right? I mean, it's always you keeping me together so let me be here for you for a change. What's going on?"

"Willow could have died last night," Graham told him, finally saying the words out loud.

"What are you talking about?" Riley demanded, confused by the fear he saw in Graham's eyes. Willow's accident had been that afternoon, not last night.

"Did you know that Willow has a stalker? She told me last night but she made it sound like it was nothing, a couple of death threats, nothing more. Then Xander called this afternoon."

Graham stopped as the image of Willow lying in a pool of her own blood appeared before his eyes again. Shaking his head to clear the scene, he looked back at the peacefully sleeping woman before him.

"Xander? Was he looking for Buffy?" Riley asked, trying to figure out why Xander would call here. Maybe he wanted to find out how things had gone between him and Buffy.

"No, he was looking for you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. He called to ask for your help in keeping Willow here in Boston. Seems her stalker has upped the ante. He managed to get past her security system and broke into her house. He tore the place apart, destroying everything, her pictures, he left death threats on the wall in blood. From what Xander said, it didn't sound pretty."

"Good God!" Riley looked down at Willow's sweet face and was glad she'd been under his roof when the break-in occurred.

"You haven't heard the worst of it yet," Graham said. Steadying himself, he reached for Willow's hand and held on to it tightly. Maybe by holding her hand he could protect them both from the ugly words he was about to say to Riley.

Riley watched the anguish pass over Graham's face and he suddenly felt very uneasy. What could possibly have Graham so upset? Did it have something to do with Russell Crowe again?

"The psycho got into her bedroom and slashed her bed over 200 times. Riley, she would have been killed if she'd been there."

The pure anguish in Graham's voice as he said these last few words hit Riley hard.

Riley shook his head trying to get rid of the picture Graham's words put into his brain. They were disgusting, gory pictures that would turn anyone's stomach.

"Does Buffy know?" Riley asked. It would certainly explain her reaction if she did.

"Yeah, she heard the last part of my conversation with Xander, so I had to tell her. I had just finished telling her when you came crashing through the door," Graham said, staring at Willow and hoping that she hadn't heard any of the conversation.

"That explains it then. Once we got into the library, she freaked when she saw the blood all over me. She wanted to know it I had been hurt."

Riley remembered the horror on Buffy's face as she ran her little hands up and down over his shirt, checking for cuts.

"When I finally managed to calm down and tell her what happened she started crying. I didn't realize they were tears of relief."

"When the two of you came in… we just figured you'd been attacked or something," Graham said softly.

The room was silent for a moment as they both watched the sleeping red head. Riley stood there playing 'what if'. What would have happened if she'd died last night? Even though Willow had been absent from his life the last 10 years, Riley couldn't imagine what Graham would have done, especially if he'd heard the news on TV. Shuddering at the thought, Riley pushed it to the back of his mind.

"What was she doing with you? When we left you were already gone, and Willow was still here," Graham asked suddenly, wanting to know what had really happened.

"She knew I was going to be in the office, so she came down to talk to me. She wanted some privacy."

Riley felt kind of strange talking to Graham about his and Willow's conversation. The last thing he wanted to do was betray Willow's trust in him.

Graham seemed to understand what Riley wasn't saying, and dropped the subject. If Willow had wanted privacy to talk to Riley, it wasn't any of his business. It bothered him that she'd turned to Riley, but after last night and this morning, he thought it was probably about him.

"How was your meeting with Steve?"

Graham needed to change the topic desperately. He needed to get his mind off of his own troubles and focus on Riley's for a moment.

"Well, Steve really couldn't tell me much without having Evan's file in front of him, but from what he said I'm his best chance as a donor. The girls could work, but because they are only his half sisters…"

"I see," Graham sounded defeated as Riley's words sunk in.

"No, the girls may still be compatible but I just have a better chance. Look, I'm praying that it's me. It's a painful test and a more painful procedure. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain it to the girls," Riley said, shaking his head. He got up off the dresser and walked over to the window. Looking down, he could see the kids building a snowman in the back yard. Smiling, he watched Evan and Jordan throwing snowballs at each other. For a California kid, Evan had adapted to the snow quickly.

"Just tell them the truth Riley. Don't spare them any of it. This way they'll be prepared if it doesn't work. They have to realise that Evan might die."

Graham had gotten up from his chair and stood behind Riley, watching the kids play over his shoulder.

"I just don't want them thinking that everyone they love will die on them," Riley said, watching his son chase Jordan through the snow.

"He looks so healthy. A little pale maybe, but healthy."

Since the conversation with Steve that morning, the ever-present specter of his son's death had been looming in the back of his mind. It haunted his every thought and dream.

"Willow said he's lost a lot of weight since the chemo."

"Yeah, Buffy told me that too. At least his hair has grown back."

"Look. I know one of you four will be the donor he needs, I have a feeling about this."

"From your mouth to God's ear," Riley whispered, wiping away a tear that had rolled down his cheek.

"Amen," Graham breathed, turning away to give his friend a little privacy.

"I think it’s time to wake the princess. Wanna watch?" Graham cracked, trying to get Riley to laugh.

"She does have that Princess and the Pea look about her, all tucked into your bed. By the way, how many did you end up with in bed with you last night?"

"Only Hope and Tristan. Guess Jordan likes sharing her room with Evan."

"Yeah. I'm gonna get Steve to book the test for Tuesday. Will you go with me and the girls?"

"Wouldn't miss it, Finn. And don't you dare say thanks, or I'll have to clock you."

"Sure."

Riley left the room the room and wandered down the spiral staircase. The house seemed so quiet with the kids outside. He stood in the living room doorway watching Buffy and Steve talking, totally unaware of his watching them. He cleared his throat, causing both of them to turn towards him.

"I was wondering when you'd get back," she said, smiling at him as he came to join them. Buffy slid over on the couch making room for him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

"Yeah, I went upstairs first to check on Willow and Graham."

"How is she?" Steve asked.

"Still sleeping. Graham was just going to wake her up."

"Buffy told me what was happening with the stalker. I'm leaving a sedative just in case she needs it after you tell her. It seems fame has a higher price than I was aware of," Steve said, feeling sorry for his newest patient.

"You have no idea," Buffy replied, having lived through this nightmare.

Part Seventeen

Buffy sat in Riley's library in his leather wing back chair with the phone in her hand. She sat listening to the ringing and hoped someone would be in the office on a Sunday. It was silly to worry really because she knew someone would be in the office.

"Good morning, MacDonald and Summers," answered a decidedly female voice

"Hi Darla!" Buffy said, smiling at the familiar voice. "Buffy! How's Evan? We've been so worried about him since you left."

Buffy could hear the concern clearly in the vampire's voice.

"He's fine. Right this minute he's out in the backyard playing with his sisters in the snow."

Hearing herself say the words, Buffy smiled. Her son was out playing with his sisters. This was something she had wished for and now it was a reality. Evan was an accepted part of the Finn family.

"So it's gone well, then?" Darla asked happily.

"As best as it can, considering the situation," Buffy sighed, aware that they still had several huge mountains to climb.

"I'm so glad to hear that. Just remember we're all here for you."

"Thanks, Darla. Is that gorgeous boyfriend of yours around?" Buffy asked, trying to figure out how she was going to explain everything to Lindsey. She'd promised him when she'd left that she would protect her heart, and now she knew she hadn't. She'd fallen in love with Riley all over again and she didn't know how she was going to break the news to her dear friend.

"He's in the law library. Let me get him."

Buffy pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them as she waited for Lindsey to pick up. They had hashed and rehashed the Riley situation for years and he'd always encouraged her to move on with her life, find someone new. In the early days Buffy knew he would have liked that someone to have been him, but as the years passed and Darla came back into his life, he'd let go of that dream. Buffy had always loved Lindsey, but not the way he'd wanted her too.

"MacDonald."

"How about something a little more friendly? I may have to send you to Cordelia for some coaching."

Buffy snickered at her own joke. She was constantly teasing Lindsey about his phone manners. She often asked him how someone with the sophistication and charm that he had could answer the phone that way.

"That would be a fate worse than death and you know it, Summers! How's my favourite partner?"

"He's fine. He's out playing in the snow," Buffy answered. She knew how much Evan meant to Lindsey; the two were buddies and they did everything together that a father and son would normally do.

"I know. Darla couldn't wait to tell me."

Buffy could hear the pride in his voice.

"How goes it with the millionaire?" Lindsey quipped.

"Things are great. Riley accepted Evan immediately. You should see them together. It would even warm Spike's heart." Buffy laughed at the thought.

"I'm glad to hear that, but I was referring to you and Riley," Lindsey said gently.

Over the years Lindsey had made his opinion known rather loudly where Riley Finn was concerned. First of all, he couldn't imagine anyone walking away from someone as special as Buffy. Secondly, he had turned his back on his son. It was true that Finn didn't know about the boy, but that was irrelevant according to Lindsey. It might have been Spike's influence, but Lindsey had grown to dislike a man he'd never met.

"Things are fine. He still loves me, Lindsey. I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at me."

Lindsey could hear the dreamy sound in her voice and rolled his eyes at Darla.

"Get your head out of the clouds, Summers. This is about Evan," Lindsey snapped at her. "Have you two decided on how you're going to deal with the issue of custody?"

"Lindsey, you're out of line, and right now that's the last thing I need from you." Buffy returned his nasty tone of voice.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about my best friend, okay? I love you, and I don't want to see that man hurt you again," Lindsey replied, trying to apologise to Buffy.

"I love you too, Lindsey, and please don't worry." Buffy smiled, fingering the phone cord.

"Okay, now that we both know we love each other, when are you coming home?"

"We've made arrangements to have Riley and his girls tested on Tuesday."

"So you'll be back for court on Thursday, then."

Lindsey had his fingers crossed, hoping that this was the case. He knew that the longer she and Evan stayed in Boston with Riley, the harder it would be for him to keep the two of them with him. Even though he was with Darla now, Buffy and Evan were a very important part of his life, and he wasn't prepared to give them up yet.

"That's why I'm calling, Lindsey. I'm going to stay until next Sunday. They'll need someone to take care of them after the tests, and Riley's invited us to attend a party with him on Friday."

"Oh. So a party's more important than our practice, then."

The hurt in Lindsey's voice was very clear to Buffy. "I didn't say that, you did. Look, Riley and his daughters are doing this for Evan and I can't just go running back to L.A. after we have the results," Buffy said, trying to reason with him.

"Why not?"

Lindsey knew what Buffy was really trying to say, even though she hadn't said it.

"Because it's not right. I'm doing this for Evan. Remember that. He's the only reason I'm doing this."

"You love him, don't you?" Lindsey asked, sounding like he'd just accused her of killing someone

"Yes Lindsey, I love him. And I'm not prepared to lose him again! You can let everyone in L.A. know it if you feel like it! I don't care!"

She could feel herself growing angry with the one person who'd been by her side through thick and thin.

"I'll back off, but just remember I'm not too happy about this."

"Like I wasn't happy about you and Darla?" Buffy countered.

"That was different."

"How?"

"It was the whole undead thing."

"No, it's not. You're afraid that Riley is going to hurt Evan and I, aren't you? Well, don't worry, Lindsey. He loves us and at least I don't have to worry about him draining me if we have a fight!"

"Low blow, even for you Summers," Lindsey said, laughing at Buffy's attempt to lighten up the conversation.

"I know. That's why you love me. It's my vamp humour."

"You're a sick little puppy."

"So are you, MacDonald. That's why we make such great partners," she told him, smiling into the phone.

"What time are you due in court?" he sighed, knowing he'd just lost the fight with her.

"10:30. Judge Haskell's chambers. I owe you big, partner."

"Don't go trying to sell your soul to anyone, I already own it."

"I'll fax you the brief in the morning. I love you to death! Bye, MacDonald."

"Bye, Summers and give my favourite partner a hair ruffling for me will ya?"

"Sure thing." With that, Buffy hung up the phone.

____________________________________________________________________ Riley had said goodbye to Steve at the front door and floated down the hall towards the library. She'd agreed to stay for the party Friday night, which meant he'd have more time with her. More time to hold her and kiss her. Smiling to himself, Riley used every ounce of his control to stop himself from racing into the library and throwing her onto his desk and having his way with her.

He wandered slowly down the hall; stopping outside the door to the library Riley could hear her on the phone. He started to turn away when he heard her tell whomever she was talking to that she loved him. Riley didn't move a muscle as her words hit him.

As the next few seconds of the conversation drifted over him he felt his heart break. He should have known that this was all about Evan, that she hadn't come back because of him. Evan was what was paramount in her mind, nothing else mattered and Riley was just a fringe benefit.

Turning away from the library dejectedly, he walked down the hall towards the family room. He found himself stopping in front of Claire's picture and he laughed bitterly.

"So you made your point. You brought her back here for a laugh. Did you want to hurt me, Claire? Is this your revenge from beyond the grave?"

"Or was it yours, Maggie? Did you think to have Buffy betray me, like you felt I betrayed you?"

Why had he gotten his hopes up that this would work out for the two of them this time? Buffy was only here because she needed him and his girls to save Evan. She'd never really answered his question when he'd asked her if Evan hadn't been sick would he have ever met his son. It seemed that now he had his answer. In his hurt and his anger, Riley wanted to tell Buffy to shove it up her ass, but this was his son too and he didn't have the heart to do it. Maybe Graham was right about his seeking a little legal advice from Bob before Buffy whisked Evan out of his life forever.

Riley stood contemplating his options when he felt Buffy's arms slip around his waist. He tried to hold himself stiff in her arms, but he felt his body reacting to hers, betraying him.

"Everything's set. I can stay till next Sunday," she said, rubbing her cheek against his back.

"That's great. I appreciate your giving me the chance to get to spend more time with Evan," Riley replied coolly, extracting himself from Buffy's embrace and walking away from her.

"Riley?" she called, confused by his reaction to her hug.

"What?" he answered, not stopping or turning around to face her.

"That's what I want to know," Buffy muttered, racing after him.

"What?" he said again, the irritation evident in his voice this time.

She grabbed his arm as he reached the doorway into the large family room.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I heard you on the phone."

"You were eavesdropping?" she asked, shocked that Riley would do such a thing, but she couldn't understand why he would be upset by what he'd heard… unless of course he didn't hear the whole conversation.

"Yeah I was. It's my house! I can do whatever I want," he barked at her, shaking off her hand.

Buffy froze, surprised at his response to her and watched as he stalked off into the family room. Following him into the room, she saw him standing with his back to her and she could tell from his body language that he was very angry with her.

"What the hell did you think you heard?" she demanded, walking up to stand directly behind him.

"You told whoever you were talking to that you loved them. You said that the only reason you came here was because of Evan, that everything you did here was for Evan," Riley said, his tone accusing and bitter. "So my question to you, Buffy, is did you kiss me for Evan's sake as well?"

Riley whirled around, glaring at her as he spit out his question. The anger in his eyes forced her to take a step back. In all the time she'd known him, she'd never seen him this angry.

"That's not what I said," she answered weakly, turning away from him to leave the room

"Oh. Sorry for paraphrasing your conversation," he said sarcastically.

"You didn't hear the whole conversation, Riley. Yes, I did come here because of Evan. It took the possibility of losing my son to force me to contact you again. Having you reject me in the past hurt like hell and believe me when I tell you that I wasn't keen to have you reject me again. All those times in the past that I'd wanted to call you, I stopped myself, remembering the last time we spoke, and all the other times you had Graham do your dirty work!" Buffy's eyes filled with tears. "All I ever wanted was for you to be part of Evan's and my life! What do I have to do to convince you Riley Finn? Do I have to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me? Will that convince you?"

By the time she'd finished this last sentence she was half way down the hall. She didn't care who heard her, she was so angry with him. He'd only heard part of the conversation and then reconstructed the rest to fit his needs. It seemed like every time she turned around he was in the hallway staring at the picture of his dead wife. Buffy had decided that maybe he was just using Hope's feelings to mask his own fear of moving on.

"That's right, Buffy! Run away from me! That's the only thing you and I seem any good at in this relationship," Riley yelled, coming out in the hallway after her.

"Run up and hide in your room until you leave! I'm sure Lindsey would want you to do that. God forbid you flirt with me any more than you have to! Lindsey wouldn't like that!"

Upon finishing his tirade, Riley turned on his heel and stormed back into the family room.

Hearing him sling his last arrow, Buffy stopped short in the hallway.

"He thinks I love Lindsey?"

Suddenly all the past fights about Angel and Spike came roaring back to her. She could understand why in the past Riley could never full accept that she loved him, but she had told him several times on this trip.

Buffy's subconscious screamed at her.

Turning around she stalked back down the hall to the family room.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do! And don't you ever tell me who I love, Riley Finn! You are such an ass! Do you know that?" she said, launching herself across that room at him.

"How dare you call me an ass!" he responded to her attack.

"She can call you an ass all she wants, because you are one!" Graham hollered from the doorway.

Buffy and Riley stopped yelling at each other and turned to stare at Graham open mouthed.

"The two of you are going to wake Willow, and if that happens, I'll knock your two heads together!" he fumed at them.

Standing in the center of the room, side by side, the two looked at Graham sheepishly, and then started to giggle. The giggle quickly turned into a roar. Suddenly it was Graham's turn to stare at the laughing fools who a minute ago, wanted to kill each other.

"Yes Dad," Riley managed to squeak out before he and Buffy broke into a fit of giggles again, falling into each others’ arms.

Staring at them in disgust, Graham turned on his heels and put his nose up in the air, leaving them giggling, neither aware that he had left the room.

Pulling her head out of his chest, Buffy and Riley's eyes met and they both sobered quickly.

"I'm sorry," she said, almost jumping out of his arms, and turning toward the door.

"No, I am. I should have respected your privacy. I just wish you had just been honest with me about Lindsey from the very beginning," Riley said, crossing the room to block Buffy's exit. "Evan is still my son Buffy, and there's nothing I would ever deny him, you should know that."

"Riley, I am being honest with you. There is nothing between Lindsey and me. There could have been a long time ago, but he's been with Darla for the last 6 years. They're very happy together, and I'm happy for him and that's it. He's one of my best friends, and he's been like a dad to Evan."

As she said these last words, she noticed the pained look that crossed Riley's face. Quickly she threw her arms around him and embraced him trying to give him something of her.

"I didn't mean it that way! I didn't mean to hurt you or accuse you of anything," she stammered, trying to apologise for her big mouth.

"No, it's okay. I'm glad there was someone there to teach him all the manly things I missed out on," Riley joked, hugging her to him tightly.

"Look, I owe you a huge apology for the eavesdropping thing, but when I heard you on the phone my insecurities took over again. Every time I look at you, I can't imagine that you really want to be with me. There's this part of me that's positive your still in love with Angel or Spike and it's this irrational part that keeps rearing its ugly head. I'm sorry."

"How do you think I feel every time I look at Hope? I keep seeing Claire, and I wonder what the hell you want with me? Am I just your second choice?" she asked, shuddering as the thoughts that had been plaguing her for the last day were finally voiced.

"You… you will never in a million years be my second choice. You were my first choice, Buffy. Don't you understand that you own my heart? That for the 6 years I was married to Claire you were the woman I dreamed about at night, not my wife?"

Buffy pulled back and looked into his bright blue eyes and she could see he was telling the truth. Even married to another woman, he'd loved her. She was speechless.

She thought, staring into his eyes.

And then it came to her out of the blue. Reaching up on tiptoes she claimed his lips with hers. The passion that her kiss held left no doubt as to her feelings for him. As her tongue made it's way into his mouth she devoured him, conquered him. She pulled back briefly and smiled at him.

"Do you get it yet, farm boy? I've felt the same way since the day you left."

With a smile still on her lips she claimed him again. This time Riley let go of the shock and took an active part in the seduction. Scooping her up in his arms, he walked them over to the couch and sat down with her in his arms. Quickly changing positions, she straddled his lap, taking his face between both of her hands.

"Don't every do that again," she demanded of him. "What?"

"Think that I don't love you," she whispered, smiling into his blue eyes. "Daddy! I have to go pee!" Tristan screamed from the mud room doorway.

"Okay, we are definitely locking them out next time," he sighed, lifting Buffy off his lap to rescue his four year old daughter. Buffy laughed as he raced out of the room.

"Four kids, no wonder we can't find any alone time." She laughed up at the ceiling.

___________________________________________________________________ Buffy was in the kitchen when Graham decided to show his face again. She smiled sheepishly at him and walked across the kitchen and gave him a hug.

"I know you're having a hell of a day, and I'm sorry for my and Riley's part in it. The last thing you needed was hearing us screaming at each other like children. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, I overreacted," he said, hugging her back. Human contact was exactly what he needed right now. Watching Willow sleep for the last few hours wasn't very stimulating.

"I was just going to make Wills some soup. I thought that maybe some chicken noodle might help. Has she been sick again?"

"No, but maybe just a little broth would be good for her," he said, sitting down on the stool behind the breakfast nook to watch Buffy.

"Is she okay to be by herself?' "No, but she's currently awake. Riley and Evan are with her. Little guy really cares about her."

"Yeah, and so does Evan," she joked, turning to see Graham smile.

"Thanks, I needed that." "Smiles are free here. Why don't you go play with the girls or have a shower? If Riley's up there with her now you can take a break. I'll take this up to her when it's ready."

"That would be great. I think I'll just go for a quick run and work some of this stress off," he sighed, getting up from the stool.

"Actually, I was thinking maybe more of a nap or something," Buffy said with a shrug as she watched him leave the kitchen.

_____________________________________________________________________ "Viola! Dinner is served!" Buffy said, kicking open the bedroom door. "Yeah!" Willow clapped, watching as Riley went to take the tray off of Buffy.

"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked, sitting down on the bed next to her son. "Stupid, dumb, clumsy," Willow said, blushing. "I hate to say I told you so,'' Riley smirked from his seat on the edge of the bed.

"I know, but you just have to, don't you?" Willow said, as Riley placed the tray on her lap.

"Is that okay?" he asked, afraid to cause her any pain. "Perfect." She smiled her famous smile up at him.

"Where's Gray gone?" Riley asked as he sat in Graham's chair.

"Went for a run. He didn't come up here to change?" Buffy asked, puzzled.

"Ah, no. I have a full workout room with a change room down by the pool. He probably went there to change," Riley said, hoping that he didn't sound like he was bragging.

"What doesn't this house have?" Willow laughed as their eyes looked to him for an answer.

"I don't know," Riley said, slightly embarrassed when forced to answer.

"I know!" Evan said, excitedly. His parents and aunt's eyes turned to him to hear his answer. "What?"

"My own room. I want to spend a lot of time here when I'm better. Can I, Dad? Mom?" he said, looking back and forth between his parents.

"Any time you want to buddy, the door is always open for you. I have a feeling that your sisters aren't going to take your leaving easily next weekend," Riley said, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat at his son's request.

"We're staying until next weekend?" he asked excitedly, looking at his mother for verification.

"If that's okay with you? We'll have to call your school and tell…"

Evan jumped off the bed before his mother could finish her thought.

"Hey guys! We're not leaving till next weekend!" he yelled to his sister as he raced down the stairs.

"I don't think I've seen that kid any happier," Willow smiled, turning to look at Riley.

"I second that! It's like you gave him the best Christmas gift ever!" Buffy smiled lovingly at the blonde man sitting opposite her in the chair.

"No, you two bringing him here, that was the best gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you."

His smile took in both the women sitting in front of him.

"So we're not going home till next weekend, huh?" Willow said, looking at Buffy.

"Well, after you get that cast on, I'd be surprised if Graham ever lets you out of his sight again," Riley laughed.

"At least not in an icy parking lot!" "Oh, you think you're so funny!" Willow cracked, watching Buffy and Riley kill themselves laughing.

"Yeah, usually," Riley snorted, getting up from the chair.

"I'm going to tell the girls about the test on Tuesday tonight. Evan's going to help me," Riley said, looking at the two women on the bed.

"Want me to come?" Buffy asked, starting to crawl across the bed to the end of it.

"No, it's okay. I think having Evan there will be enough. And I don't think we need to upset Hope anymore than is necessary. Sorry, Buffy," he said, caressing her face.

"It's okay," Buffy said, leaning into his touch. "Oh, one question before you go?" Buffy asked. "Sure," he said, turning around to face the women.

"Why does Graham's room have such a big bed?" Buffy said, indicating the king size bed that she and Willow were sharing.

"It used to be in the old house. It was Claire's idea of a joke. You know, for Graham and his harem," he said simply, watching the look on both women's faces.

"Your wife encouraged him to bring strange women to stay here?" Willow said, suddenly not liking Riley's former wife much.

"Oh, God no! I'm talking about the girls. When Graham's here, they all usually end up in bed with him. Don't ask me why. Supposedly I snore," he said in mock disbelief.

"You do," Buffy said, smiling apologetically at him. "Hey, I've been sleeping alone for 2 years, nobody's reminded me of that for a long time."

With that he left them alone. "God! He's so cute!" Willow gushed as he left the room. "I think so," Buffy smiled at her friend. "I should speak to Roger. See if we can get him a gig in Hollywood."

"Over my dead body! I've just got him back! There's no way I'm letting the rest of the women in the world drool over my man."

*** Riley sat in the family room with the kids all around him. He'd spent the last two hours preparing to tell the girls about Evan and the tests and now was the time. Tristan sat on his lap and he smiled. She was such a cuddler.

"Okay this is a Finn family pow-wow, and it's really serious." Riley looked over at Jordan and he could tell she already knew something was wrong.

Riley looked to Evan who was sitting next to him on the couch.

"Evan has come into our lives for a very special reason. He and Buffy need our help right now."

"What do we have to help them with, Daddy?" Hope asked, looking at her big brother. Even she had noticed that Daddy had been on edge lately.

"I'm sick, and I need your help to make me better," Evan said simply to his little sister.

"Like a cold? Because we can ask Sam to give you some cough syrup," Tristan said, excited that she had the answer.

"No, honey. Evan hasn't got a cold. He's much sicker," Riley said, hugging his little girl to him.

"He's going to die isn't he, Daddy?" Jordan asked, her bottom lip quivering.

"I could," Evan said, sliding off the couch to sit on the floor with his younger sister.

"But that's why they’re here, honey. We need to take a test that could keep Evan from dying," Riley said, trying to stop himself from joining his daughter in her tears.

"I hope it's not a spelling test, because I failed my last one," Hope said miserably, afraid she might not be able to help her brother.

"No, Hope it's a special medical test," Riley told her, holding her hand in his.

"What type of test?" Jordan asked, looking up at Riley with big blue eyes that were just like his own.

"Well, the doctor will put you all to sleep to do it. That way it won't hurt," Riley said, knowing that the girls would feel some pain afterwards.

"What does the doctor do?" Jordan asked again.

"He takes a giant needle and he sticks it in and draws some marrow out of your bones," Riley said, trying to explain the procedure as best as he could without upsetting any of them.

"I don't like needles," Tristan said, burrowing into her father's chest.

"I don't either, Tristan, but you won't feel a thing, you'll be asleep," Jordan said, getting up off the floor to sit on the couch next to her dad and her sisters.

"When Jenny Adamson went to the hospital, she got to eat all the ice cream she wanted," Hope said.

"I think Jenny had her tonsils out, Hope, but we can have ice cream, too," Riley said, smiling at his daughter.

"Will it hurt?" Tristan asked, looking up at her father then at her brother who was kneeling in front of them.

"Only for a little while afterwards. You can ask my mom and Grandma, they both had the test already," Evan said, answering Tristan.

"Are you having the test, Daddy?" Hope asked looking at her father. "Yup," he said squeezing her hand. "Uncle Graham, too?" Jordan asked.

"No, honey. You see they need the filling from our bones to make Evan better. Since I'm Evan's dad, and you're his sisters, we have a better chance of fixing him, because our stuff matches his better," Riley said, struggling with how to explain genetics to an 8 year old.

"Cool! So because we're his sisters we can fix him?" Hope asked.

"Maybe. We have to check to see if it will work," Riley said, hoping they wouldn't ask him what would happen if it didn't.

"When do we go for the tests?" Jordan asked quickly and Riley was sure she could read his mind.

"Tuesday. And I've called your headmaster, no school till January. How's that?" he said to the girls, hoping the time off would work as an incentive.

"Cool!" Hope said.

"What about homework?" Jordan asked. Riley knew his straight-A student daughter wouldn't want to miss a class.

"Mrs. Bartley will send your homework here." "Okay, let's do it then," Jordan said, looking at each of her little sisters. "Yes," Hope said, smiling at Jordan.

"Only if you hold my hand," Tristan said, smiling at Graham who stood in the doorway.

"You got it Trist-tie," Graham said, returning his niece's smile.

_______________________________________________________________ The house was quiet that night after the kids went to bed and Riley excused himself early as well, explaining that he was exhausted. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes, no one was surprised. Buffy had gone to bed a couple of hours later, after watching a movie with Willow who was still curled up in Graham's bed. Graham sat up reading on the couch in the room, looking up occasionally to watch his beautiful red head sleep. She looked so peaceful when she slept, her colour had returned and his heart had stopped racing. He was glad she'd be okay, that it was nothing a cast couldn't fix. Drifting off to sleep he smiled to himself and wondered if the producers of her movie would have to re-cast the role now that she was injured.

Willow woke up an hour later with a start.

It appeared that her short-term memory was being affected by the concussion. Willow looked around the room, deciding that it had a very masculine feel to it and then remembered it was Graham's room at Riley's. Her eyes finally found him asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful, but very uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable could also be the word to currently describe her bladder situation. She needed to get up, but the pain in her ankle reminded her of the break.

She needed to wake Graham up or face total embarrassment.

"Graham." Nothing.

"Graham," she whispered a little louder.

"Graham!" she called louder, causing him to nearly jump out of his skin.

"What?" he said as he rushed across the room, smashing his toe into the bedpost. "Shit!" he yelled, jumping around holding his foot.

Willow tried to suppress the urge to laugh because she was afraid she'd wet the bed. Biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to speak.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice muffled. "Fine, just a broken toe," he cracked, hobbling over to her.

"I have to go to the bathroom." "The bathroom?"

"Must have drank too much herbal tea," she said, smiling shyly at him.

"Do you want me get Buffy?" he asked, not sure what she wanted from him.

"No, I want you to carry me to the bathroom. You're a big, strong, strapping man. I'm sure you can handle it. Since Buff had Evan, she's lost the Slayer's strength," Willow said playfully.

"Oh, you're so funny," Graham replied sarcastically, feeling suddenly stupid.

"Must be a lot of that going around. I accused Riley of that earlier," she said, placing her arms around his neck as he lifted her off the bed.

"Must be contagious. He accused me of it yesterday," Graham told her, kissing her nose.

"I like that." "What? Me kissing your nose?" he asked, because he was more than happy to do it again if she liked it.

"No, getting something contagious from you," she said, before leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

Pulling back, Graham licked his lips.

"Not while I'm carrying you. With my luck, I'll drop you," he laughed, butting open the bathroom door. "Oh, another good use for that magnificent ass of yours."

Willow didn't care what she said, she knew she could blame it on the drugs.

Graham blushed at Willow's sudden forwardness.

"I'll wait outside," he said, backing out of the room as soon as her butt hit the toilet seat. "I'll call when I need you." She smiled sweetly at his blushing face.

"Okay."

Graham waited outside that bathroom door until he heard Willow curse, and what sounded like someone falling. Opening the bathroom door he found Willow in a heap, with her bare bum smiling up at him.

"I forgot about the ankle for a minute. Thank the Goddess they gave me this pain to remind me," she grinned at him sheepishly.

"Here, let me help," Graham said, squatting down beside her to pull her into his arms.

"Thanks."

She smiled as she felt herself safely encased in his powerful arms.

"Don't mention it," he whispered into her ear as he deposited her back on the bed. He helped her get comfortable and then returned to the couch.

He was just drifting off when he heard her call his name again.

"Graham?"

"Yeah, Will?"

"Can you come here?"

"Sure," he said, covering the space between them in four strides.

"What's up?" She pulled back the covers and slid over. He looked down at her, totally confused.

"Get in here! And don't think you're getting lucky tonight, mister! I just want to feel your arms around me."

He laughed at her remark and slid into the big bed next to her.

"However…" Willow began imperiously, "when they finally do put this cast on and I invite you into my bed, it will not be to hold me, got it?"

"Got it," Graham replied smartly.

"Good," she said, snuggling into his arms before turning her head to kiss him goodnight.

Part Eighteen

Riley sat in his office and looked at the clock. It was 7:00 am and he really needed to speak with Graham. It was business and the type of business that they were involved in didn't care what time of the day or night it was. He'd been up since 4:00 when the private phone beside his bed had rung. Claire and the girls used to joke and call it his 'Bat phone', since it was this phone that would often spirit him away late at night.

According to his operative in charge their case in New Orleans was falling apart and they needed to make a major strategy change. Jackson had wanted the big boss's approval before they charged in with both barrels blazing. New Orleans had been a hotbed of activity for awhile now, and according to Jackson, the situation was getting worse. He had lost 2 field agents last night.

Riley got up out of his chair and made his way to the stairs, noting how damn quiet the house was. It was times like this that he missed Claire the most. She would sit beside him pulling case files from cabinets and looking up information on the Internet for him during these crisis situations. Even after the girls had been born, she'd still get up in the middle of the night to back him up but this morning he sat alone, making decisions that could affect both the holidays and the lives of his employees. He desperately needed Graham's input.

He knocked softly on the door of Graham's room, afraid that he'd wake Willow, and waited for an answer. The second time he knocked a little louder but when he still didn't get a response he pushed the door open. The sight that met his eyes made him smile: two heads sharing one pillow. Willow was tucked very nicely into Graham's protective embrace. Riley stood there watching them for a minute, envying their contentment, before he closed the door again.

"Glad to see you worked things out. I think the two of you deserve to sleep in today," Riley said as he closed door and headed back down the stairs to his office. He'd have to make the executive decision on his own in this case.

_____________________________________________________________________ Willow woke as she heard the door open. Through the slits of her eyes, she could see Riley watching her and Graham. Without moving, Willow watched him stand in the doorway and smile at them. She knew he was happy for them, almost as happy as she was.

Riley softly closed the door, but not before she heard his whispered comment about sleeping in.

Willow turned her head so she could stare into Graham's sleeping face. His beauty left her breathless. Willow had worked with many of Hollywood's leading men, some considered to be among the most handsome in the world and yet none of them compared to the man lying next to her. He was by far the most beautiful.

If so, then Graham was breathtakingly beautiful. Willow reached up and brushed his hair off his forehead and she wondered briefly when he'd grown out the crew cut look. He smiled in his sleep as Willow ran her fingers through his hair.

"Goddess, you are beautiful," she whispered, letting her hand slip down the contours of his face. She had never forgotten how handsome he was, but lying this close to him, it was almost overwhelming. Feeling his arms wrapped around her, and his warm breath on her cheek, she felt loved and safe for the first time in years. She tried to stretch in her contentment, and felt a sharp stabbing pain in her right ankle.

Her sudden movement and intake of breath woke Graham up.

"You okay?" He asked, looking at her with a concerned albeit sleepy look in his eyes.

"It just hurts when I move it. Must be the bones rubbing together."

"Want me to get you a pain killer?" He asked, starting to pull away from her.

"No, it's not that bad, and those things make me so groggy. I want to remember everything about waking up in your arms," she said, snuggling deeper into his embrace.

"Everything?" He whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. For 10 years Graham had woken up with one woman or another but this was the one he had always been with in his dreams.

"Everything," she murmured against his lips as she kissed him back just as softly. For a few moments they lost themselves in each other but Graham pulled his head away from Willow and said, "Can we talk for a minute? This is really serious."

At Willow's nod, Graham took a deep breath and continued, "I want to slow this down before one of us gets hurt by the sudden change in our relationship."

"You want to slow it down?" Willow said, pulling slightly away from him. She couldn't help feeling like he was rejecting her.

He thought to himself as Willow moved away from him.

"That's not what I mean. I want to slow this down," he said, waving to them in bed together. "I don't want us jumping into a stage of this relationship that neither of us are ready for emotionally. We did that before and I think that's what did us in the last time."

Graham reached across the space between them to caress her bare arm.

Staring into his beautiful blue eyes, Willow felt her heart thumping in her chest. Though he hadn't said it directly, he'd indicated that he wanted to be with her and not just as her friend.

"You want us to be an 'us'?" She asked carefully, moving back towards him.

"More than anything else in the world, but I want to take it slow. There's a lot we need to talk about. Both of our lives have changed so drastically since college."

Graham's eyes twinkled mischievously at her, "I mean, today I'm sleeping with a woman most men fantasise about! God knows I did!"

Willow started to giggle and before long the giggle turned into a full laugh as she pulled away from him. Graham shot her a hurt look, not knowing whether to be insulted or not at her laughter, and started to get out of bed.

"Where the hell do you think you're going? Get back in here!" She demanded, wishing she could attack him this very second, however her ankle was putting a crimp in her plans.

"Excuse me?" He said, throwing her a disbelieving look.

"I, said, Get…Your…Gorgeous…Sexy…Ass…Back…Here!" Willow said slowly emphasising each word, so he wouldn't misunderstand her.

"Really?" He asked, staring at her. Willow just nodded her head, as she lay back against the pillows and stared up at him.

Climbing back in beside her, Graham laid down on his side so he could be face to face with her.

"You, Miller, amaze me. Why couldn't you have been this eloquent all those years ago? That's what I was laughing at, not you or your confession," she said smiling at him. "I like the idea of you fantasising about me and suddenly I have this man in my bed, or should I say, whose bed I'm in, who actually can tell me how he's feeling. Stoic man seems to be gone."

"Guess it took losing you to learn an important lesson."

"Can I ask you something?" She said sweetly. Graham could never refuse her and shook his head yes. "When did you grow out your crew cut?" She asked, once again running her fingers through his hair.

"I guess after I let the agency. I needed a change. Why, you don't like it?"

"It's okay, but the crew cut made your eyes stand out more. I miss it." "Note to self, make appointment with John for hair cut," he said, caressing her cheek.

"You don't have to do that! I was just wondering." "I will do whatever is in my power to make you happy, and if that means having my hair cut, then so be it."

"You are too much. I don't want you doing anything that you don't want to do."

"I can live with the hair cut," he assured her, leaning in to kiss her nose.

"Good! Because I much prefer it the other way."

"Okay, can I ask a question now?" He said, looking deeply into her eyes again.

"Why do I have a feeling this isn't going to be something I'm going to like answering?" Willow said apprehensively. "Because I don't think you will either. It's not going to be easy." "Okay let me get comfortable, then you can ask me."

Willow shifted around trying to find a comfortable position. Giving her an expectant look, Graham waited for her to give him the nod indicating that she was comfortable.

"Alright then. Why did you choose Tara over me back then?" Graham asked her quietly. As soon as he asked, Graham looked away and wished he hadn't asked her the question at all. It was a very raw wound for him still and he wasn't sure that he wanted Willow to see how much her decision had affected him.

"Wow! You can pick the hard questions, can't you?" Willow said as she ran her hand through her long hair, wondering how she was going to explain this all to him.

"That's why I make the big bucks," he joked, trying to lighten the heavy mood that had descended over the room.

"It's not really easy to explain. I just thought that Tara wouldn't hurt me, but I was so very wrong," she said sadly, looking into Graham's eyes.

"I would never have hurt you Will. I cared so deeply about you. How could I have ever hurt you?"

"I'm really not to sure how to start this… maybe it would be better if I explained it from the beginning," Willow exhaled, wishing she could get out of bed and pace the room, but her injured ankle wouldn't let her.

"If that's what you need to do," Graham pulled himself up so that he was braced against the headboard of his bed, allowing Willow to lean against him.

"Before I met Buffy I was the world's biggest geek, nerd, whatever you want to call it. Hanging out with Buffy, well, I started to change. I came out of my shell, I found confidence I never knew I had and I met Oz my junior year..."

"He was the guy you were dating during freshman year, right?" Graham interrupted to make sure he knew whom they were discussing.

"Yeah, that's Oz. Anyway, when I started dating him, I was always watching over my shoulder, afraid some girl would try and steal him from me. But Oz always told me how much he loved me, and how important I was to him. Then I cheated on him with Xander."

If this conversation hadn't been so serious, Willow would have burst out laughing at the look that appeared on Graham's face at this revelation.

"Yes, Xander and I were together for about two seconds, and it was nice, but horrible at the same time. Oz and Cordelia caught us in the act. Xander was dating Cordelia at the time. To make a long story short, Oz forgave me and took me back but I always felt guilty about 'the clothes fluke', and did whatever I could to be the perfect girlfriend. Then we started college, and suddenly I was very unsure about Oz and me. He seemed to know so many people on campus, and a lot of them were women, I was afraid I'd lose him. He was a musician after all."

"I can understand that," Graham snorted remembering the man Willow had dated, but then women did strange things when it came to musicians.

"Don't be like that," she chastised him with an elbow in the ribs. "Oz was a great guy."

"Okay, okay. I repent my sins," Graham said, trying to look innocent and regretful.

Willow arched a perfect brow at him and said, "I know you're only faking, but I'm not prepared to deal with it right now. It will have to wait till later and I'm sure I can come up with a few interesting things for your punishment."

Willow's implied intentions were hard to miss. "I sure hope you can. I've been a very bad boy," Graham grinned

evilly at her as he leaned down to lick the side of her neck. "Keep this up and I won't be able to answer your questions. Or is this a new interrogation method I haven't heard of?"

"Sorry," Graham said, straightening up and leaning his head back against the headboard. "Back to your story." "Where was I?"

"College, afraid of loosing Oz."

"Oh yes. So anyway, he met this other girl, Veruca. She was not only a fellow musician, but a werewolf as well. They had an affair."

Why did saying those words still cause her heart to ache? Goddess! It had been 12 years ago.

Graham sensed that thinking about Oz's indiscretions still brought Willow pain and he wished that he could make all her past hurts just go away.

"You don't have to continue this. It was stupid of me to ask you. Why don't we go have breakfast, maybe a cup of tea?" Graham suggested, trying to change the topic.

"No. I need to answer your question, and that's what I'm doing. There's just so much tied up in it, and I'm sorry if my talking about Oz disturbs you. I know the whole story about your patrol being attacked by a werewolf."

" I am lucky to be alive but we weren't even sure if it was a werewolf. I know that you feel you need to explain this to me but I'm fine if you want to stop."

"Are you?" She asked, doubting what he was telling her.

"Yes. Positive, cross my heart," he said, crossing his heart. Willow giggled at the absurdity of him crossing his heart.

"What about 'Scouts honour'?" "Never was a Scout, didn't like the uniform," he replied kissing her forehead. " Do you want to get back to your story or not?" "Okay, okay! So this is about the time when you came into my life." "I remember seeing you after Oz left. You were at that party the night of the power failure and you seemed so sad. I wanted to talk to you but then you found that body… I wanted to shield you from it all. Then Buffy and the cops showed up and I had to go. Riley told me everything later on. It was that night that I decided to protect you, that you needed a champion, and I would be it." "But you just came into my life at the wrong time, Graham. The last thing I wanted was to be involved with you. I was positive you'd rip my heart out and dance all over it." "Will, I would never have hurt you. I was falling madly in love with you." "I know that now, but I was very insecure then. Being with you was amazing, but I always felt that you were way out of my league. Hell, other women made sure I knew that you were out of my league." "What are you talking about?" Graham was genuinely confused by Willow's comment. "When was the last time you looked into a mirror? Haven't you ever noticed how women swoon when you walk into a room?" Willow was highly amused by the fact that this was lost on him. "So… "

"Graham! You're a chick magnet! Women fall in love with you the minute they lay eyes on you. Okay, if not love, than at least lust. You are the most beautiful, handsome, sexy man I have ever seen! And the quiet act! Damn! You were always Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome or the Mysterious Stranger who Stood in the Corner Nursing His Drink!"

Willow poked Graham hard with her finger and laughed at how uncomfortable he was with her description of him.

"Don't think I didn't catch your act at the Bronze all those years ago!"

"It's not like that. I only went there to watch you", Graham said by way of explanation as he played with the sheets. "You were what?"

"I was watching you."

"Me?" She asked in disbelief. Why would he have been watching her?

"I noticed you a long time before we ever met, Willow. You were still in high school when I first saw you. You were probably a senior then."

When he didn't get a reaction from her he continued, "We use to patrol the Bronze all the time in the early days of the Initiative, we knew that vamps often trolled there. I think the first time I saw you was when I fell in love with you. You had on this funky multi-coloured sweater and long skirt and you were swaying to the music. The Dingoes were playing that night. The look on your face was what stole my heart," Graham smiled as his mind cast back to that night so many years before.

"It was this look of pure love and happiness that shone when you looked up at Oz, and I knew he was the luckiest guy in the place. That night, and for years to come, I would wonder what it would feel like to see that look in your eyes when you looked at me."

Willow stared at him speechless. What could she say? Graham had just dropped a huge bomb in her lap! And from the look on his face, he had also just let her in on a huge secret. His eyes told her that he was telling her the terrifying truth.

"When you finally noticed me, and we started dating, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I was prepared to wait for you to look at me the same way you did Oz. I was willing to wait for you to fall in love with me…"

"It was just bad timing, Gray. My hurt was so fresh, and I didn't want to experience that again," Willow said softly, taking Graham's hand in hers.

"I've loved you forever and a day. There was no way on God's green earth that I could have walked away from you even if I'd tried. Willow, I was home when I was in your arms. You were my world."

"Oh Graham, all the time I was afraid you'd leave me! After Oz left, my self-confidence disappeared. You want to know what I thought when you first asked me out? I thought it was a charity date, that you were doing Riley and Buffy a favour."

Willow had tears in her eyes as she admitted this to him.

"Do you know how long it took me to do that? When Riley had told me about you and Oz breaking up, I wanted to call you right away, but then he told me how broken up you were and I knew I couldn't crowd you. You were the only person I wanted in my life Willow. I would have waited forever."

"I didn't know that! I was so afraid I'd lose my heart to you and you'd walk away, that you'd leave me when you realised what a nerd I was! You have no idea how easy you are to fall in love with, do you Mr. Miller?"

As she asked him this, Willow brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his palm.

Graham looked her in the eye as the kiss reached down to his toes. He wanted to make love to her right then, but injury prevented that. He loved her more than he could ever but into words, and he was dying to show her. Graham gently pulled her to him, careful not to jar her ankle and he kissed her slowly and deliberately. As his tongue touched her bottom lip, Willow opened up to allow him access to her mouth. She shifted her position so he was practically lying on top of her. Her little hands found their way under his tee shirt and rested on the hollow of his lower back. Drawing circles with her fingers, she sent shivers down his spine, and Graham responded to her with a deep moan. Willow smiled impishly, pleased that she could elicit such a response from a man like Graham Miller. Pulling away, Willow searched his eyes, trying to recall everything about him and their talk so that she could file it away for review.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? If I had only known!" She caressed his face.

"I didn't know how to tell you Will. I was an idiot! If I'd only…" his voice trailed off as he remembered the dreams he'd once had for the two of them.

"No more what ifs! It's just the two of us now, no one else from here on in. We'll take the time we need to make this work, and when I'm done with you Mr. Miller, there'll be no doubt in your mind of my love for you. NO rushing, just you and me."

He kissed the top of her head and held her tight against his chest, thanking God for giving him a second chance with this woman.

"Graham?" Willow's muffled voice squeaked from where it was hidden in his chest.

"Yeah?"

"I need to pee again."

"Really?"

"Yeah," she said, licking his neck.

"Suppose you want my help," he said, drawing in a sharp breath as her hand found his right nipple.

"That would be nice," she said as she nibbled her way along his jaw.

"Look, I'm trying to control myself here! Stop that!" Graham said as he pushed her away.

"What?" She asked, batting her eyelashes at him in her best innocent impression.

"You know what! I don't' want to risk hurting you anymore than you already are."

"Then I guess it'll have to wait till I get my cast on," Willow pouted.

"Don't do that either," Graham demanded, rolling away from her.

"What?"

"Pout. Way too sexy, especially with your hair all messy and that I've-just-woken-up look. Just looking at you requires a cold shower."

"I have that strong an effect on you?" Willow asked, truly shocked that she could have this type of hold over him.

"Yes! God! When was the last time you looked in a mirror?" Graham said to her, throwing her own line back at her.

_________________________________________________________________ Riley was stilling sitting by himself an hour later when Graham finally appeared in Riley's office.

"Willow said you were looking for me earlier this morning. What's up?" Graham asked, sitting down in the chair opposite Riley's desk.

"New Orleans."

"What happened?"

"I've had to send Reese and Wells down there this morning. It's not good. Bryan called this morning, things kind of exploded last night. We underestimated the numbers we were facing. He lost Powell and Comstock."

"Shit. Rye, you should have woken me up."

"Didn't want to disturb you and Willow. You both looked so comfortable."

"Don't give me that crap! We're partners. Just because Willow's in my bed, that's no reason for you to have to deal with decisions like this alone," Graham snapped, heaving himself out of the chair and paced across Riley's office.

"Look, other than sending Reese and Wells down there, I haven't done anything else. I wanted to speak with you first."

"I'm glad to hear that. Maybe I should have Fred warm up the jet and fly down there," Graham suggested, stopping his pacing to look at Riley

"No, we have Evan's tests tomorrow and I'm going to need your help with that. We also have to keep Willow safe. Those are our priorities right now. Reese can handle this. I've given him executive power while he's down there. He'll call after he's met with Jackson and he's gone over the briefing reports."

"You're right. Wells and Reese can take care of this, they don't need me down there being psycho guy. Hell, I'd be worrying about Willow the whole time I was there anyway."

He sighed, stopping his pacing in front of Riley's desk once again.

"How is she this morning?" Riley asked.

"Good," Graham smiled, thinking of her body as he'd lowered her into the bathtub. He'd been prepared to join her, when she'd told him about Riley looking in on them earlier in the morning. Graham knew Riley would only come looking for him if it was important.

"When's her appointment at the hospital?"

"10:00 at the Fracture Clinic. Steve has us meeting the head of Orthopaedic surgery there."

"Pays to have friends in high places."

"Sure does. I think you owe him big."

"Yeah, we owe him big. Thought I'd lend him and Nicole the jet and house in St. Thomas for two weeks. Sort of a Christmas/Thank you present from the two of us."

"Sounds good to me. Call Jackie and have her arrange it," Graham said reaching for the stress ball on the corner of Riley's desk.

"Sure. I'll also have her make sure the place is fully stocked, and the boat's available for them…"

"Dad?" Evan asked hesitantly, not wanting to interrupt his father and his uncle.

"Ev, come on in," Riley said, peering around Graham to see his son standing in the doorway. Riley realised the girls must have warned Evan about Riley's office, because he'd asked before entering the room.

"Good morning Ev," Graham said, sitting down in the chair.

"Good morning Uncle Graham."

"What are you doing up so early buddy?" Riley asked, getting up from behind his desk and crossing the room towards his son. Riley noticed that Evan had appeared a little flushed and was a little concerned.

"Couldn't sleep. Jordan's still asleep though."

"Yes, your sister usually sleeps like a log. Believe me when I say she needs her beauty sleep."

Riley's comment made Evan laugh. Evan had decided upon seeing his sister that when he planned on having a crush on a girl, it would be one like his sister. She was beautiful. Actually all his sisters were and he knew he was going to have his hands full keeping the boys away. After all, wasn't that his job as their big brother?

"Are you okay?" Riley asked, reaching out to feel Evan's forehead. Evan nodded listlessly.

"You have a fever!" Riley cried, trying to quell the panic that was racing through him.

"I'll go get Buffy," Graham said, springing from his chair before Evan could stop him.

"Please don't tell Mom. She'll wanna take me to the hospital or something," Evan pleaded with his father and uncle.

"Evan, I can't promise you that. I don't know enough about you're medical condition to not include your mother. And even if I did, I'd still have to tell her," Riley said, pulling his son to him for a hug.

"Please Dad? I don't want to spend the rest of this trip in the hospital. I want to be with you and my sisters. There's so much we've planned to do," he begged his father as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Evan, I don't know what I'm getting myself into here. Let's just tell your mom and we'll call Dr. Steve and get his opinion. Deal?"

"Promise me I won't have to go to the hospital," Evan said stubbornly, crossing his little arms over his chest.

"I can't promise you that, but I can promise you that I'll keep you here if Steve thinks it's okay."

"Deal," Evan said, hugging his father tightly.

"Daddy?"

"Hey princess." Riley said, smiling at his 4-year-old as she stumbled sleepily into the room.

"I'm hungry," Tristan mumbled as she came into the office and climbed onto Graham's lap.

"How can that be? Your eyes are even open yet," Graham teased, snuggling with her.

"Yes they are," Tristan replied, opening her eyes as wide as they would go to show her Uncle she was awake. "See?"

"What do you want for breakfast?" Riley asked, looking at his daughter and Graham. If he hadn't known better, he'd have sworn that Graham and Tristan were father and daughter.

"Pancakes!" She bounced

"Is Hope up?"

"Not yet, but I can go wake her if you want," Tristan offered. Riley sighed at his ever-helpful child.

"No, leave her," Riley warned.

"''Kay."

"Why don't we go have a bowl of cereal for now, and pancakes when everyone else wakes up? How's that Tristan? Evan?" Riley asked, getting up off the couch.

"Sounds good to me," Evan said, moving to leave the room.

"Wait for me, Ev!" Tristan yelled, trailing after her brother.

"If she keeps that up, I think even the Jorgenson's next door will be joining us for breakfast," Graham laughed, slapping Riley on the back as they followed the kids to the kitchen.

Part Nineteen

Buffy walked into the kitchen to find the kids setting the table while Sam made pancakes for them. Stopping in the doorway, she watched Evan with his sisters. It was hard to believe that the four of them had only met days ago. The closeness he had with each of his little sisters was adorable and Buffy blamed herself for keeping them apart. At the moment, Tristan was helping him get the juice out of the fridge, at least that's what she told Buffy when she saw her watching them.

"We're getting the juice and we're setting the table for Sam," Tristan smiled proudly at her big brother.

"Yes and you're doing such a good job! Good morning, Buffy," Sam said, looking up from the stove.

"Good morning. So what's for breakfast? Can I be of any help?" She asked, coming up behind her son and hugging him. Evan immediately shrugged out of his mother's hug, and for a second Buffy thought how strange that was. Her son was normally very affectionate toward her.

"You could take Dr. Finn and Graham a cup of coffee if you like. They're on a conference call in his office," Sam suggested as she turned back to the pancakes.

"Sure. Do you know what Graham takes in his coffee?"

"Black. And Dr. Finn…"

"Just milk, I already know that."

Buffy didn't like the fact that the nanny knew all the little things about Riley's life, things that she should have known. To her, it appeared that Sam was making it well known where she stood in Riley's life.

"Right," Sam replied, not liking the way that Buffy had snapped at her. It was obvious that Buffy felt threatened by Sam presence in Riley's life and maybe she should. There was no way that she would be forced out of the Finn household by this California bitch. Sam not only loved her job but also knew that she'd miss the girls and Riley,not to mention Graham more than she could bear.

Buffy poured the coffees and headed down the hall towards Riley's office. She was still steaming at Sam's unspoken reference to her place in Riley's life and while Buffy understood that the girls needed someone in their life, there was no way she was getting Riley too! Buffy would do whatever she could to rid of her if it began to look like Sam had a little too much interest in her employer. She'd never played dirty in her life, but if that's what it took to hold on to Riley, well that was what she would do. There was no way she would loss Riley to the damn nanny!

As Buffy reached the office, she could hear other voices and although she tried not to eavesdrop, her natural curiosity won out. She knew Riley and Graham owned a multi-million dollar business but she wondered what they actually did. How could they have made this type of money operating a security firm? She hid out of their line of vision to listen for a few moments.

"Look, their numbers have grown overnight! The only way that's possible is if they've joined forces with another group. Masters are not normally known to work together, so what's different this time?" Buffy could hear Riley asking.

"Last time we had a case like this in France, they were working together to open the portal to a dark dimension. We know that the hellmouth in Sunnydale has been magically sealed for the last 8 years, and that the New Orleans opening has had a lot of activity lately. Bryan, what are the readings down there?"

Graham was pacing the office looking at the file in his hand.

"Wells hasn't gotten back from the lab yet with the readings. All I can tell you right now, Graham, is that it's starting to crack. We risk it opening at any minute, and the activity levels indicate that. The crew we faced last night were willing to die to stop us," answered the voice that Buffy assumed was Bryan. Hearing them talk about hellmouths and masters, Buffy wanted to know what the hell type of business Riley was involved in. He'd left the agency? When had that happened?

"They're like kamikaze pilots during the Second World War. They just kept coming at us, sacrificing themselves to keep us away from the opening."

"Reece, have you been there yet?" Riley asked, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Soon as I got here. No activity around it in the way of vamps but the readings are hot."

"Shit! I should be down there!" Graham said, as he began to pace the room faster.

"Is Graham pacing?" Bryan laughed, responding to Graham's agitated exclamation.

"What else is new? Glad I have him on the speakerphone. He managed to kill another phone in Columbia last week," Riley told Bryan, chuckling at Graham's antics.

"Knock it off guys, this is some serious shit!" Graham snapped.

"Graham, we all need a little humour or we'll explode, which is precisely what you are going to do if you don't sit down! Reece, check with the Cardinal and see what he has to say then get back to me."

"Sure boss. The Vatican must be paying big time for us to deal with this."

"Oh, you don't have any idea how much he's milking them!" Graham laughed.

"That's sacrilegious! I'm only charging them our expenses, the rest we're covering." Riley said, throwing Graham a warning look.

"We're paying?"

"Think of it as a charitable donation to the church," Riley said smiling sweetly at his business partner.

"Cold buddy, so cold."

"Well if you went to church more often, Gray, you wouldn't feel that way."

"Look, don't even start with the lecture buddy. My Irish mother gave up on her death bed."

"Guess everyone returns to the church when the time's right for them."

"Knock it off, Finn," Graham growled.

"Knocking it off."

"Bryan, check on the autopsy report on the two nuns that were used as the sacrifice, and get back to me. Have Wells call Gray with the lab results when he's finished with the work-up and Reece, make sure that the Cardinal has my number if he needs anything. Tell him we're working around the clock on the translation."

"Sure thing Boss," Reece answered.

"Keep me informed, Reece," Riley said as he hung up the phone.

What the hell was Riley involved in? The Catholic Church? Sacrificial nuns? Vampires? Buffy needed answers, but she knew now wasn't the time for them. Moving into the doorway, she cleared her throat to let the men know she was standing there.

Looking up both Riley and Graham saw Buffy holding two coffee mugs.

Riley thought to himself.

"I come bearing coffee," Buffy said, entering the office and handing Graham his black coffee.

"Thanks," he said, smiling up at her as he took the offered mug.

"Here just like you like it," she said, handing Riley his mug.

"Thanks, Buffy," he replied, looking carefully at the blonde standing in front of him.

Riley looked at Graham than back at Buffy. What had she heard? Since the firm had been developed, he had never risked his family's involvement in his work and now Buffy stood in front of him with knowledge of his world. It was a knowledge that could get her killed.

Riley looked down at his coffee cup, then up at Buffy.

"How much did you hear?" He asked, not taking his eyes from her face. If she lied he'd know.

"Enough."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

Seeing the fear in Riley's eyes, Graham knew that Buffy's overhearing of their conversation could put her in danger and he thought about the redhead upstairs in his tub. Could he always protect Willow?

"Let me see, hellmouths, the Vatican, nun scarifies, vampires. All I want to know is what the hell are you two involved in?"

"I'll explain this to you later when we have time to explain it fully. Right now, if I start telling you what's going on all it's going to do is leave you with enough information to be dangerous," Riley told her brusquely as he rose from behind his desk.

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Buffy demanded, placing her hands on his chest to stop him from stepping by her.

"I said I'll explain it to you later. Right now with everything else on our plate, it'll only complicate things. I can't be worrying about what you know and don't know! I have a son whose dying, a woman upstairs who's being stalked by a psycho, and a woman I'm trying to restart a relationship with. To top it all off, I have a Hellmouth threatening to open and two families to call and tell them about their son and husband's deaths. So right now Buffy, I don't want to have to explain this all to you."

Buffy stared speechless at Riley after his outburst. Here she was dumping so much on him, and all he was trying to do was save the world, something she used to do.

"Is breakfast ready?" Graham asked, trying to change the topic, and avoid an all out war between the two strong-willed people in front of him.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy pulled her eyes way from Riley's and looked at Graham. She could see the uneasiness clearly etched on his face and she decided that whatever it was that they were involved in, she wasn't sure she really wanted to know.

"Yeah, Sam's just making the pancakes. How's Willow this morning?" She asked trying to help Graham easy the tension in the room.

"Willow… Oh my God Willow! I left her in the bathtub almost two hours ago!" Graham exclaimed as he flew out the room.

"Oops! I'd hate to be him right now!" Riley snorted through his laughter.

"Think I better make an appearance or there may be a murder up there," Buffy giggled.

"Go, I'll met you up there," Riley told her as he leaned in to kiss her forehead.

"Don't think I'm letting this conversation go, Riley," Buffy warned over her shoulder as she left the room.

"Oh I know you won't," he sighed in response, following her out of the office.

Buffy walked into the bathroom in time to see Willow pull a fully clothed Graham into the large sunken tub with her.

"So you forgot about me?" Willow giggled as Graham spurted and splashed in shock as he met the water.

"I honestly think that will be the last time you do that," Buffy laughed at Graham's current predicament.

"I should hope so, because I'd hate to think I was dating the human prune," he said as he wiped water from his eyes and turned toward Willow to splash her. He leaned in to catch Willow's lips in a kiss and as the simple kiss became more passionate, Buffy excused herself from the bathroom and was closing the door when Riley entered the room.

"What are you doing? Preserving the crime scene for the police?" Riley smirked as she spun around to face him.

"Will pulled him into the tub with her. I left when things started to get a little heavy in there," Buffy smiled, an intent look on her face as she looped her arms around his neck.

"Maybe we should join them," Riley said, quirking an eyebrow and pulling her close to him.

"I'd rather we were alone. Is your tub that big?"

"Bigger," he winked at her and she began to giggle.

"I thought size didn't matter."

"Oh baby, don't ever believe that."

Riley lips captured Buffy's in a sweet kiss but it didn't last long as Buffy pulled back and licked her lips. She looked up at him,

"Sir, do I detect Maple syrup on your lips?"

"Guilty. Breakfast is ready," he said.

"I'd rather have this for breakfast." Buffy reached up on tiptoe to kiss him again.

"And the best part, this burns calories, it doesn't cause them," she mumbled against his lips.

"Uh, Riley?"

Graham's voice could be heard from the bathroom. Riley and Buffy separated and turned to see him peeking out of the mostly closed door.

"Yes Graham?"

"Could you grab me some dry boxers and jeans please?"

"Sure thing. Need some help with Willow?"

"Oh no, Willow's fine, at least she's not complaining," Graham laughed.

Riley handed him the requested items of clothing, and turned away from the bathroom door.

"We'll see you two down stairs for breakfast. Soon." "Yes Dad," Willow answered, giggling loudly.

Buffy had already started back down the stairs when Riley caught up to her. He reached out to a hand to stop her.

"I was only kidding about the bathtub, but later might be nice," she said coyly.

"Sorry, I really didn't have that in mind right now. I'd like to discuss Evan with you," Riley said, leading her into the sitting room off of his bedroom.

"What?"

"This morning he came down early, he said he couldn't sleep. When I looked at him he looked really flushed. Buffy, he had a fever."

Buffy's head snapped up at this information.

"Look, he didn't want me to tell you. He's afraid you'll run him off to the hospital and he'll spend the rest of the week there."

"Well, he just may have to. Let me go get dressed and we'll take him there right away."

Buffy had already started towards the door when Riley reached out to stop her again.

"Look, maybe I'm overstepping my bounds here, but let me call Steve. He'll tell us what to do."

Riley could feel the tension in her body as he tugged her into his embrace and hugged her to him. How many medical emergencies in his son's life had he missed? Riley vowed that now that he was back in their lives, he would never let them go through this alone.

"Riley, usually Dr. Fields tells me to take him in immediately. When he was on the chemo we constantly had to worry about him picking something up. I'm always worrying about him," she said, leaning into him for comfort and feeling grateful that for once she didn't have to go through another crisis alone.

"We'll call Steve and we'll go from there. I'll get the thermonator and we'll take his temperature. Okay?"

"Okay. It's good to have a world class cancer specialist at your beck and call," she smiled weakly at him.

"Yeah it is, but I'm going to owe him huge!" Riley said, taking her hand and leading her back down to the kitchen.

Riley had called Steve and they had discussed Evan's fever. Steve said the fever was mild, nothing to really worry about at this point, but to keep an eye on it. If they wanted to be safe, they could swing by and he'd check him out, and do a blood work up. Buffy had planned to accompany them to the hospital, but Lindsay called with a major crisis in the Lamourxeau case and she had to let Riley take Evan to the hospital alone.

"I promise as soon as I know what's happening I'll call. Even better, I'll have Steve call you," he said kissing her nose.

"This man is going to hate me by the time I leave here."

"Nope, I think he's joined the Buffy Summer's fan club. You won him over the other day. I can tell."

"Then have him call me. I think I may go have a bath after I deal with this Lindsey thing. Seeing Willow and Graham in the tub makes me want a good soak. I do some of my best work in the tub at home."

"I remember you used to be really good in showers too."

"Finn, your mind is always in the gutter," she said as she playfully slapped his chest.

"Only when it comes to you, my darling," he said, quickly kissing her goodbye.

"If Ev's up to it afterwards, do you mind if I take him out to lunch or something? I really haven't had a chance to spend any alone time with him yet. There's so much I have to learn about him."

"Sure, if he's up to it. I think he'd like that, just the two of you."

When Buffy finally got out of the tub, the house was dead quite. Riley and Evan had gone out to lunch after Steve had checked him out. The blood test showed that he'd picked up a bit of a bug but Steve had given him some antibiotics to kill it and assured Buffy and Riley that he would be just fine. With both parents' nerves considerably relaxed by the diagnosis, father and son had gone off to lunch.

Willow and Graham had gone to the fracture clinic for x-rays on Willow's ankle and Graham had called a short time later to confirm that Willow's ankle was indeed broken. They'd have to put a cast on and wait for it to heal. He'd wanted to know if Xander had called with any further details on the stalker but Buffy said no, he hadn't called as of yet. Graham knew they'd have to tell willow about the break-in tonight, and wanted all the information he could possible get first.

Jordan, Hope and Tristan were out with Sam having a girl's day. They were going to the movies, lunch, and then a manicure. Buffy wished that it were her getting to spend this time with the girls. It would have been time to bond and get to know each other better. Instead it was the nanny who was of having fun with them.

Sighing heavily, Buffy picked up her briefcase and laptop and headed downstairs. Sometimes she hated being a lawyer because the workload kept her away from Evan. It had gotten so bad last year that she had had to put her foot down and make sure she was out of the office every night at 5:00. When Evan finally went to bed, she'd work until the wee hours of the morning. Raising a child alone and being a lawyer was not always easy and she knew that she was lucky to have her friends and Lindsay to help her.

Walking past Jordan's room something caught the corner of he eye. Sitting on the window seat with her legs crossed was Jordan.

"Hey, I thought everyone was gone? Why didn't you go with Sam and the girls?" Buffy asked, leaning against the doorjam.

"I had homework that I needed to get done so I asked Sam to let me stay since you were here anyway," Jordan replied, still staring out the window.

Buffy thought, frowning to herself.

"Jordan, is something wrong? You were really quiet through breakfast." Buffy said coming into the room. Realising that the child might not want her to come in, Buffy stopped.

"You don't mind if I come in do you?"

"No, it's okay," Jordan said, turning to face Buffy.

Buffy could see the tears that were threatening to spill at any moment.

"What's wrong Jordy?" Buffy asked gently as she sat down on the window seat opposite the child. Buffy pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"Nothing," she replied, swiping at the tears that were now rolling down her cheeks.

"Do you always cry over nothing? Buffy asked. "Come on Jordan, I'm a really good listener."

"I was just thinking about what will happen if we fail the test."

"Oh."

Buffy was not expecting this from the child and had actually expected anything but this. She shifted her sitting position and leaned against the wall with her legs curled up under her.

"What will happen to you and Dad?" Jordan asked, looking at Buffy with a pair of beautiful blue eyes that matched her father's and brother's.

"Well, I don't know honey. Evan may die… and then your dad and I will have to cope with it."

Buffy hadn't been prepared to have this conversation with anyone yet, let alone an 8-year-old, but sitting here now on the window seat, it seemed like the right time. In the back of her mind Buffy always knew she could lose her son, but she'd pushed it back, burying it amongst her other dark thoughts. Now this child was forcing her to think about it.

"What does cope mean?"

"Well, we'll have to learn to live without him, I guess."

"That's not fair! I just got to meet him finally! I don't want him to leave yet!" Jordan cried, burying her head in Buffy's lap.

"I don't either baby, but there's still the hope that one of you will match him, and that's what I cling to."

Buffy hugged the child to her, feeling her own tears finally falling freely.

"So we'll cling to that hope together, okay?" Buffy said, rubbing Jordan's back.

"Together," Jordan agreed, looking up at Buffy and smiling meekly.

Buffy tried to smile back at Jordan through her own tears.

"And if it doesn't work I want to come live with you."

Buffy was shocked to hear the child's simple statement.

"Dad has Hope and Tristan. You'll have no one, so I want to come live with you. That way you won't be alone."

Hearing her explanation, Buffy knew she would always hold a special place in her heart for this beautiful child. Here she was thinking about Buffy, and what would happen after Evan was gone. At 8 years, Jordan shouldn't have had to think about things like this.

"Jordy honey, even though your dad has your other sisters, he's going to need you too. I thank you for your offer, but honey, he's going to need you too," Buffy said as she hugged the child tightly to her.

"He'll understand, Buffy. I've already lost my mom, I know what it feels like to miss someone."

"You really miss her, don't you?"

"Sometimes. I'm afraid of what will happen to you. You need to be loved, and I need a mom. It would be perfect."

There, it was finally out. Jordan wanted a mother in her life, a role Buffy would only be to happy to fill, but a role that Hope wanted to remain vacant.

"I would love to be your mom, honey."

"Then marry Dad and move here and we'll be one big, happy family."

"Oh Jordan, I wish it were that easy. I have a job in California that I can't just walk away from and Evan's doctors are all there. We need to stay in California right now, but maybe someday it'll happen."

Buffy stroked the young girl's beautiful hair and hoped that she could understand the complications that came with being an adult..

"You have beautiful hair, Jordan."

"It's like Aunt Moe's, Dad's sister. Did you know her?"

"No, she died before I knew your dad. They say she was pretty special, just like you."

"Everyone says I'm like my Dad."

"Yeah, you are and so is Evan. I'm really glad we have this time together, Jordy. I think you and I are going to become good friends."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Jordan said quietly, still resting her head in Buffy's lap.

"Does anyone every call you Dani?"

"No, just Jordy. Uncle Graham calls me little Rye sometimes."

"I can see why," Buffy smiled. It was obvious that Jordan was the most like Riley. She had her father's soul.

"Would you mind if I call you Dani? It would be my special name for you."

"Like Uncle Graham's name for Tristan,' she asked excitedly as she sat up straight.

"Just like that."

"Cool! I'd like that," she said, throwing her arms around Buffy's neck and then settling her head back in her lap.

The two sat huddled together on the window seat watching the snow fall. Buffy never thought she'd hold a little girl in her arms like this but here she was holding Riley's baby. In that moment, everything in the world felt right. It was so easy to imagine that the two of them were the only people in the world and that they were safely encased in a snow globe that kept everything evil and frightening away from them.

"Do you get snow in California?"

"Sometimes, but it doesn't happen very often. Up in the mountains it snows."

"Do you know how to ski Buffy?"

"Your Dad and I used to go a long time ago."

"Did he teach you? He taught me."

"No, I already knew before I met Riley but we used to love to ski together."

They fell into companionable silence again. Jordan was so quiet that Buffy had thought she'd fallen asleep until the child sat up, and reached for her math book.

"Buffy, can I ask you a favour?"

"Sure Dani. Anything you like."

"Could you hold my hand tomorrow?"

Seeing the peaceful look on Jordan's face, Buffy smiled. There were no nerves or tears just a confident smile on her little face.

"You nervous?"

"No, not really. I'm more worried about if it doesn't work."

Once again they both fell into silence.

"So will you? Hold my hand, I mean."

"Dani, I promise to never leave your side. Except when they do the procedure, I can't be there for that."

"Good." Jordan smiled slightly and cuddled deeper into Buffy's side.

"Are you good at math?"

"Not really, why? Do you need help?"

"I can wait till Dad gets home."

"Your Dad says you're a straight A student."

"Yup. I like school."

"Once again, you and your brother are your father's children!"

"Yeah, he told me that."

"You hungry, Dani?"

"Sure!"

"Okay, lets go down and see what we can find for lunch," Buffy said, swinging her legs over the seat and placing her feet on the floor.

"Can I bring my work with me?"

"Only if I can."

Part Twenty

Riley smiled as he watched his son in the batting cage. Evan was a natural athlete and, being a typical father, Riley was proud of his son's abilities. With each crack at the ball, Evan would turn to his father for approval and it seemed to Riley that Evan was trying to make up for all the doubles, triples and homeruns that Riley had missed over the years.

"Where did you learn to hit like that?" Riley asked his son, surprised by accuracy of the 9 year old, although he shouldn't have been. By the time Riley had been 9, he'd been sinking baskets and scoring goals without really thinking, so he really shouldn't have been so surprised at his son's athletic ability.

"The uncles," Evan replied.

"Uncles?'

"Yeah, Xander and Lindsey. Did you know that Uncle Lindsey won a baseball scholarship to UCLA? What he didn't teach me, Uncle Xander did," Evan said proudly.

Riley was positive his son grew six inches when he spoke of the two men who had such an influence over his life.

"You're pretty close to them, huh?" Riley knew he was digging for information, but he wanted to know what Lindsey's true roll had been in Evan and Buffy's lives.

"Oh yeah! And with Uncle Angel and Spike too. They're vampires, did you know that?" Evan said, his voice hushed. He wasn't supposed to tell people about Angel and Spike's "unusual allergies", but he figured it was okay to tell his Dad.

"Yes, buddy, I know them both."

"They're both so cool. When Mom used to work a lot of nights with Uncle Lindsey either Uncle Angel or Spike would stay with me till she got home. Those were fun nights." Riley's son smiled as he remembered happier days, before he was sick.

"Your mom used to work a lot of late nights with Lindsey?"

"Yeah, until last year but then she realised that I was more important than her work, so she started getting home at 5:00 instead. And the nights that I had baseball or soccer she'd always be at the games, unless she was in court, then Aunt Willow or Uncle Xander would take me."

Riley noticed a shadow cross Evan's face, "When I was younger, I'd hate it when Aunt Willow would take me. Everyone would be all over her, and I knew she didn't like it. She'd get scared sometimes."

"Really?" Riley asked, interested in Willow's life, and how her celebrity had affected her.

"Oh yeah! For a while, she wouldn't leave the house unless Uncle Angel or Uncle Xander was with her. Mom said that she was busy doing other things, but I knew she was frightened of people. They sometimes do and say nasty things to her."

"I know buddy."

"Do you want to try?" Evan asked, holding the bat out to his father.

"Sure, why not?" Riley said, coming through the gate and taking the bat from Evan.

As Evan passed by him, Riley noticed that Evan's cheeks were flushed. Riley slipped into concerned father mode and reached to check his son's temperature.

"Are you okay?" He asked the boy, concern evident in his voice.

"You're starting to sound like Mom! Don't worry Dad I'm fine. I just worked up a sweat hitting the ball but I'm okay. I'm a little out of shape. Mom hasn't let me play since the Chemo," Evan said, ducking his head so his father's hand fell from his forehead.

"Are you telling me your Mom would freak if she knew what we were doing?"

"Probably. I'm supposed to rest," Evan replied, looking totally guilty but also a little defiant.

"Ev, I thought we agreed that you weren't going to try and pull any fast ones on me with your Mom," Riley said softly, looking down at his son's slumped shoulders.

"I know, but I really wanted you to see me bat and pitch. This was important to me Dad! Everywhere I look around the house I see what the girls can do. Jordan's dancing and gymnastics awards, Hope's music ribbons and even Tristan has a skating ribbon up! I wanted to show you what I could do. I want you to be proud of me too," Evan said, looking up at his father with tears in his eyes.

"Ev, buddy, I am proud of you just because of who you are."

"Yeah, I get it. Don't let the sick kid tire himself out," Evan quipped bitterly, looking away from his father.

"That's not what I'm saying Evan, and you know it."

"Sorry. I'm just sick of being told what I can't do, you know?" He said, shoving his hands in his pockets and mirroring his father's stance without thinking.

"I think I know how you're feeling, but kiddo, your Mom is only doing that to protect you."

"I know," Evan sighed. "But Dad if I'm going to die in the next 6 months I want you to see who I was before I got sick. I want you to love me for what I could do, not because I'm sick and you have too."

Riley was shocked by his son's statement. What could have made his son think such a thing? Had he said anything that would have made Evan think this?

"Evan, I love you. What would make you say that?" Riley rasped, trying to control himself and his fear that Evan didn't think he loved him for the right reasons.

"Well, until I got sick you wanted nothing to do with me and then Mom asked you for help and here you are. Why didn't you want anything to do with me when I was well?"

Evan wouldn't look up at his father as he said this but rather kept his eyes on his feet as he scuffed his shoe through the dirt.

Well you could have knocked Riley over with a feather after that comment! His son was under the impression that he only loved him because he was dying. Riley wished the little boy could understand just how completely and totally wrong he was in that assumption.

"Evan, your mom told me she told you what happened when you were little, is that true?"

"Yes sir," Evan said, nodding his head. Riley placed his arm over his son's shoulders and led him to the bench at the back of the cage and they sat down. Riley had no idea how he was going to explain all this to his son when he didn't understand what had really happened.

"Evan, if I had known that your Mom was pregnant with you, I would have moved heaven and earth to have been by her side. I loved your Mom so much that it hurt to love her sometimes."

"Especially when you thought she didn't love you," Evan finished for his father.

"You really do know the story," Riley sighed sadly as he pulled his son closer to him.

"Yeah," Evan said, patting his father's hand and trying to offer some small comfort.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you? When your mom told me on the phone that I had a son, well, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops I was so happy. I've always wanted a son, Evan! Don't get me wrong, I love your sisters with every beat of my heart, but I've always wanted a son. Someone to teach things to, someone to do the things that I did with my Dad," Riley finished with a soft smile on his face, thinking about his father and the times the two had spent together in his youth.

"And now you have me," Evan smiled up at Riley.

"Now I have you," Riley agreed, hugging his son to him.

"Don't ever think that again okay? You are an important part of my life Evan, and you will be for the rest of my days."

"So Uncle Lindsey was wrong then?"

"Uncle Lindsey?"

"Yeah. I heard him and Mom arguing about us coming here. He said you shouldn't get the satisfaction of knowing me, since you were never there for me growing up, that you were just trying to elivate… alivate… alleviate the guilt you felt for leaving Mom and me," Evan said, struggling with Lindsey's words and looking up at Riley as if to try and figure out why Uncle Lindsey would say such things if they weren't true.

"Did your Mom agree with him?" Riley asked, hoping that Evan would say no, that Buffy had more faith in him than that. He need to hear Evan say this.

"No, she said that you would have loved me from day one if she'd given you half a chance. I didn't get that part though."

"I don't either buddy, but your Mom must have had a good reason to say that. I guess it goes back to me not thinking she loved me."

The two sat in silence for a few seconds before Evan finally spoke again.

"But she did love you. She was just afraid to tell you. She's not afraid to tell you now though, Dad," he said, turning to look his father in the eye.

"I know she's not," Riley smiled, remembering how she'd finally admitted the other day that she'd always loved him.

"Do you still love her?" Evan asked, crossing his fingers behind his back so that his wish would come true. Maybe it was a girlie thing to do, but right now he needed all the help he could get.

"Yeah, I love your Mom."

"Then can I ask you a favour?"

"Sure buddy. What is it?"

Riley almost laughed when he noticed the serious look on his son's face. The look was so out of place on the face of a child of this age, but Riley then remembered that Jordan was famous for that look and he was struck again by the similarities of his oldest children.

"If I die, will you take care of mom?" Evan was trying really hard to hold his trembling jaw still as he asked this. Uncle Spike had taught him to never show fear if you wanted to win something whether it was a fight or a game of cards. Evan would miss Uncle Spike. Uncle Spike was the only adult who had always been completely honest with him about his illness and he would help him break his mother's rules whenever possible. Evan knew Uncle Spike had a special spot in his heart for his mother, so he loved to help Evan frustrate her. He said it reminded him of the good old days.

"Evan you're not going to die, so let's not talk about stuff like this," Riley said, getting up from the bench to kneel in front of his son.

While it was true that Riley had always been the king of realism, he wasn't prepared to have this conversation with his son just yet. Part of him kept thinking that if he held his breath and closed his eyes it would all go away and the other part was yelling at him to be realistic and live every moment he had left with his son as if it were his last. Evan was suddenly the most important thing in the world to him and to lose him, like he'd lost Claire, would kill him. It was easier to push the conversation away than it was to deal with the harsh reality of it.

"I promise that I will take care of her if, when the time is right," Riley assured his son. There was no he could bring himself to say the words dead or die.

"Will you marry her?" Evan asked hopefully.

"Honestly? I don't know Ev, it will all depend on Hope. I do promise you though, that your mother will always be an important part of my life, whether I marry her or not. I love her and I want you to always remember that."

"I love you Dad," Evan said, throwing his arms around his father's neck. He felt a little better knowing that someone would look after his Mom when he wasn't here anymore. It was something that he worried about a lot. He didn't want her to be alone.

"I love you too," Riley replied, holding his son.

"I just wanted you to know in case I don't get a chance to tell you later."

"C'mon Ev, no more talk like that! I'm going to promise you one thing, ok?" At Evan's nod, Riley continued, "I will use all my money, all my power and all my influence to ensure that we find a cure for you. I will turn over every stone until I do."

"You don't have to do that Dad but I do have a request that maybe you can make come true," Evan said as he pulled back to look his father in the eye. Evan wasn't stupid. He knew that it wasn't likely that even a man as great as his Dad could find a miracle under a rock.

"Okay what do you want?"

"I want to spend Christmas here with you and my sisters and Mom. I want a white Christmas, just once in my life."

"What about Willow?"

"Oh Aunt Willow will stay because of Uncle Graham," Evan smiled smugly at his father.

"What about your grandparents and Aunt Dawn? And Uncle Xander and Aunt Anya? They'll miss you if you're away so long, especially at Christmas."

"They could all come here!" Evan cried in excitement. "The house is big enough. You and mom could share a room, like Uncle Graham and Aunt Willow did last night."

"Excuse me?" Riley was shocked that his son had noticed Graham and Willow's sleeping arrangements and realised that his son was much more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for. He'd have to speak to them about being more discreet.

"I know she slept in his room last night and that Uncle Graham slept on the couch. Couldn't you and mom do that?"

"Well…" Riley sighed, realising that Evan was still so innocent to many of the ways of adults.

"Please Dad? This is all I really want for Christmas," he said, pleading with his father.

Riley was actually as excited as his son was by the idea. He'd love to spend Christmas with Evan and Buffy! His parents and brothers were coming already. They could meet Evan and he'd even love to have Buffy's family and Xander there. Riley had actually missed the crew over the years. He decided that he would even open up the invitation to the whole group if it meant he'd get to spend more time with Buffy and Evan.

"Why don't we head home so I can run this past your mother and we'll see. I'd love to have you both here for Christmas but to tell you the truth Evan, I already got my Christmas present the day you stepped off the plane," Riley got up and pulled his son up from the bench.

"Me too, but Santa wasn't there!" Evan giggled.

"Oh so you think you've been good do you?" Riley laughed, throwing his arm over his son's shoulder as they headed out of the batting cage towards the exit.

______________________________________________________________________ "Where is everyone?" Graham asked as he carried Willow in from the car.

"I'm not sure. Boy it's like a morgue around here."

Wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Graham, Willow suggested, "Maybe we should go upstairs and take a nap."

"I think one of us should have a nap, while I go home and grab some clean clothes. Besides I have to drop my tux at the cleaners for Friday. You do have something to wear Friday, don't you?" Graham teased, knowing that she had nothing of the sort in her luggage.

"I was thinking about going nude with just this wonderful cast. What do you think?" She said straight-faced as he sat her on the chair and helped her take her coat off and one boat.

"I don't think I'd like anyone else seeing that remarkable body of yours."

"Don't let all those nude scenes in my movies fool you. I usually use a body double."

"I haven't seen any of your movies, remember, but I did see your glorious body in the tub this morning. Have you forgotten who put you in and then washed your magnificent back after you pulled him in with you?"

"Oh, was that you?"

Leaning over she kissed his lips lingering to taste the sweetness from the ice cream cone he'd eaten on the way home.

"Hmmm. Chocolate," she grinned, licking his lips again. "You like chocolate do you?" He mumbled against her lips.

"Only when it's on your lips. You are the sweetest man in the world," Willow pulled back to smile at him.

"Well next time I'll roll in it for you."

"I didn't mean sweet that way. You make me smile, Graham. You make my heart smile and it's been a long time since it's done that."

"I know what you mean."

He leaned in to kiss her lips again.

"Hey, hey! None of that in the front hallway unless it's under the mistletoe," Riley said coming in through the front door with Evan hot on his heels.

"Finn has anyone ever told you that you have incredible timing?" Graham huffed, clearly annoyed at getting caught by Riley.

"What's that old saying? Oh yeah, 'turn around is fair play', my dear friend?" Riley cracked.

"So how was lunch?" Willow asked, turning her attention to her nephew.

"Great! Aunt Will would you stay here in Boston with me for Christmas?"

Willow was caught off guard by Evan's question and looked to Riley for clarification.

"Evan has asked to spend Christmas here with me and the girls. And of course Buffy too. He wants to have a white Christmas," Riley explained, smiling like a damn fool.

"Yeah will you?" Graham asked just as excited as Riley and Evan at the prospect of sharing the holidays with new family and renewed loves.

"I'd have to call my agent, but I think that can be arranged."

"Cool!" Evan yelled and raced through the house looking for his mother with his father close on his heels.

"He's so excited," Willow smiled as she watched father and son disappear down the hallway.

"I guess Evan's never had a white Christmas, huh?" Graham asked as he leaned in to finish off the kiss he'd been planning on giving his new girlfriend before they'd been interrupted.

"I meant Riley," Willow giggled.

"Yeah? Well I know he'd love to spend the holidays with the two of them. Just like I'd love to spend them with you."

"I know what you mean. Waking up in your arms for another two weeks would be the greatest Christmas gift this girl could ever ask for."

"Or this little boy," he agreed kissing her softly, "We could stay at my place…"

"Do you two ever take a break?" Riley asked, picking up his coat and heading towards the door.

"… it would give us more privacy," Graham finished with a mock glare in his friend's direction.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked, eyeing Riley as he shrugged into his coat.

"Back to the office. Buffy says Hal called and it looks like they've broken the translation."

"I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. You're staying here in case Willow needs to be carried up those stairs. I'll call you when I know what's going on," Riley said closing the door and leaving Graham to glare after him.

The door opened again and Riley stuck his head back into the hallway,

"Oh and by the way Gray, nice hair cut. I always preferred the crew cut myself."

Riley had to duck as Graham's gloves were thrown at his head.

When Riley came back, the house was once quiet again but he could smell something wonderful coming from his kitchen. Obviously Buffy was at it again. She had cooked dinner every night since she arrived and Riley couldn't remember ever enjoying a meal so much. Her cooking had improved exponentially since her attempts in university had left him eating antacids for dessert! Following his nose, Riley headed to the kitchen to find her staring out the patio doors, totally lost in thought. Riley snuck up behind her and wrapped her tiny frame in his large arms and kissed the back of her neck.

"Graham! I told you no more of that! Riley could walk in any minute."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh Riley it's you!" She said, pretending to be shocked.

"If you'd rather have Graham, I can go find him for you. Maybe Willow would be more appreciative of my attention," he said as he started to remove his arms from her waist.

"If you know what's good for you, buster, you won't move your arms," Buffy growled at his smiling reflection in the window.

"Okay, okay! I know when I'm being threatened!

"How was your day with Evan? I didn't get a chance to ask before you went flying out the door again," she asked, watching his face the whole time.

"It was great having him to myself for a change, not that I mind sharing him with his sisters, but it's still nice to have some guy time," Riley said, debating what to tell her about the batting cages. He didn't have to wonder long because Buffy brought the subject up a moment later,

"Evan told me about going to the batting cages. He didn't want me to get mad at you. It would seem that my son has a knack for forgetting certain things I tell him." She looked disgusted for a moment before continuing, "He gets that from Spike."

"Yeah, he informed me just as we were finishing. He reminds me of you when he does things like that," Riley smiled at her in the window.

"Me?"

"Yeah you!" He leaned in and kissed the back of her neck again.

"Hmmm! I like that."

"I know."

Buffy knew he was smiling because his lips were still resting on the sensitive spot at the back of her neck and she could feel the curve of them. She could feel his soft breath blowing the little hairs that had escaped from her French twist.

"Have I ever told you how I used to love it when you wore your hair this way. I love your neck, it's so graceful and sexy at the same time."

This time he didn't kiss it, but licked it instead, sending shivers all the way to her toes.

"Mr. Finn!" Buffy smiled wishing she could push aside the dishes she'd just set on the table and have him right here, but common sense took over, "We have children! We aren't supposed to do things like this!"

"It's true and it's still that way today. You have the type of neck that should be draped in diamonds." This time he blew on her neck, sending another stream of shivers down her spine.

"Well if that's an offer, I'm all for being draped in diamonds."

Buffy turned in the circle of his arms and prepared to kiss him properly when they heard Evan's voice, "Mom? When's dinner ready? We're starving!"

Turning around, they found Evan and Tristan standing just inside the kitchen door. The look on the face of Riley's youngest daughter's face was priceless.

"Were you going to kiss her Daddy?" Tristan asked him.

"Yes I was. Is that okay with you?" He said as he walked over to where she was standing and crouched down so he could pick her up.

"Sure! I want a baby brother or sister," she said, nodding her head so her curls bounced.

"What!" Riley exclaimed, his eyes nearly popping out of his head. Across the room he could hear Buffy laughing quietly.

"Well if you love someone and you kiss them then a baby comes," Tristan told him simply like she was explaining the concept to an idiot.

Buffy had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud at Tristan and Riley. Riley looked as if someone had just slapped him upside the head and was obviously stunned by his daughter's simple concept of sex. Apparently he wasn't prepared to have this discussion with a four-year-old.

"Tristan, honey, it's a little more complicated than that. When your older I'm sure your Daddy will explain it to you," Buffy said walking over to where a stunned Riley still held Tristan and tapped her on the nose.

"So I'm not getting a baby?"

"No!" Riley said, emerging from his stupor.

"So when's dinner?" Evan asked again, rescuing his parents from the sticky situation.

"Whenever Uncle Graham gets back," Buffy told him.

"Okay. Come on Tristan, let's go tell the others."

"'Kay!" She said, racing after her brother as soon as Riley put her down.

"You know, the other two have let this whole sex thing slide, but I should have known that it wouldn't get by little miss smarty pants," Riley sighed, plopping down on the stool by the breakfast nook.

"You mean you haven't had a talk with Jordan yet?" Buffy asked, coming to stand between his open legs.

"She's only 8! She's not ready for that yet!"

Riley was shocked that Buffy would ask such a question. "Well don't wait too long. You don't want to be having the conversation in the birthing room with her," Buffy smirked.

"You're enjoying this aren't you?"

"Loving it, actually. It's just too hilarious watching the usually in control Riley Finn panic!"

"Have you talked to Evan yet?'

"Sure. When he was 6. Anya was pregnant and he started asking questions, so I had Xander tell him about the birds and the bees."

"Ah! The truth comes out! You didn't tell him! You had Xander do it!"

"So what?" Buffy asked, shrugging her shoulders.

"Wait, wait a second! Xander told my son about sex? He's going to need therapy, isn't he?" Riley said with mock seriousness.

"Ha! Ha!" Buffy said, draping both arms around his neck, "Wanna make a baby?"

"With you? Any time."

And in his heart Riley knew he was telling her the truth. Another child with Buffy would be a dream come true especially as Evan had turned out to be such a wonderful child. As their lips met all thoughts of having a child disappeared from his head. Actually all thoughts of the 4 kids down the hall disappeared from his head as well.

"Have you been practising? 'Cause that kiss was almost better than yesterday," he whispered, tracing her lips with his finger.

"Yeah Graham's been wonderful."

"So where is the boy wonder?'

"He went back to his place and then down to the police station."

"Police station?"

"L.A.P.D. was faxing him a copy of the police and forensic reports. Xander had Angel get his friend Kate do it for him," she explained as Riley's eyebrows rose in an unanswered question.

"He wants to make sure he has all the information available to him before he tells her what happened. He wants us there with him when he tells her."

"Is he sure he wants to do this?"

"You can ask him when he comes in. Maybe you could offer to tell her instead? I think he's gonna have a real hard time with this. Especially the part where if she'd been home that night instead of here, she'd be dead," Buffy said resting her forehead against Riley's shoulder and shaking her head to clear the images that formed in her head.

"You might be right. I'll talk to him later."

"Could you go check on her majesty before dinner? She may want to come down."

"Sure."

"Oh and she's in Graham's room. It seems that Willow has taken a liking to his bed." Buffy snickered

"Imagine that!" Riley said, shaking his head as he left the kitchen.

Buffy sighed as she watched him wander down the hall to the staircase.

______________________________________________________________________ Riley took the stairs two at a time and walked down the hall to Graham's room. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Come in," Willow called.

"Hey beautiful! Thought I'd check to see if you wanted to come downstairs. Dinner will be ready as soon as Gray gets back," Riley said, crossing to the bed where Willow sat with her foot propped up on a mound of cushions.

"Sure, that would be great. I'll need some help with the stairs though," she said as she shifted toward the side of the bed.

"Are you okay Will? I mean really okay?" Riley asked, sitting down beside her.

"I've never been happier. I only hope that you and Buffy can find the happiness that I have with Graham," she said as she took his hand in hers. "We're going to take it slow, but Riley, it just feels so right, I can't imagine spending my life with any once else."

Suddenly Willow was the girl who had once helped him woo Buffy. Her excitement was clearly evident and she was obviously wearing her heart on her sleeve for all to see.

"So everything's fine then?"

"Smashing. And Roger has encouraged me to stay in Boston, says I'm due a holiday. Ridley Scott isn't planning on going into production with Casablanca until February, so I have enough time for this…" she indicated her cast, "to heal and I gave Roger the address here so that he can send me the script here. That's okay isn't it?"

Willow had been unsure of whether or not to give out Riley's address considering the Line of work he was in and his penchant toward over-protectiveness with his family.

"It's just my address, Will. It isn't like you gave away one of my daughters," Riley laughed, assuring her that he wasn't upset.

"You know something Riley? I've missed hearing your laugh. You have the best laugh of anyone I know. It's contagious!" Willow looked him in the eye, "I've missed you, my friend, and I'm glad you're back in my life again."

"I've missed you too, Will," Riley said, hugging the small redhead. "I missed our late night talks when I showed up early to meet Buffy."

"Yeah, that was pretty fun," Willow agreed. She had once lived for those talks because it had been her best source of information about Graham. She would eagerly take down any small detail he'd drop in regard Graham and file it away for future reference.

"Will? Can I ask you a question? If you don't want to answer you don't have too."

"Sure. You can ask me any question. My life is an open book! At least that's what the tabloids seem to think," Willow said flippantly, trying to hide the pain that those invasions into her personal life caused her. She often wondered how she was going to protect Graham and their relationship from the paparazzi.

"What is Lindsey and Buffy's relationship really all about? Were they ever together? Is there some curse, like Angel had, that keeps them apart? Because if there is, I'm not sure I want to be part of something like that again."

Willow looked at Riley for a minute and wondered if she should break her friend's confidences, but seeing the desperate look on his face she knew she had no choice but to answer him truthfully.

"Yes there is a curse but not like the one you're thinking of. It's the curse of loving an ex-commando and never being truly free to love another man the way they need to be loved," Willow said. At Riley's confused expression, she continued her explanation of the relationship that existed between Buffy and Lindsey.

"Lindsey has always loved Buffy, but he realised a long time ago that he didn't stand a chance with her as long as she still loved you. I think that sometimes he'd love to blame Evan for Buffy's inability to move on because your son is a constant reminder of you. Seeing Evan day in and day out reminded her of what she'd lost and it eventually took what little bit of herself she had left to give and buried it."

"So he blames me and Evan because Buffy can't love him?"

"Oh Riley, don't get the wrong impression about Lindsey. He loves Evan like he would his own son. I just think that he wishes Evan actually was."

"Ok, so it's not Evan he's been trying to keep from me, its Buffy?" Riley asked trying to grasp what Willow was explaining to him.

"Yup. He loves her, he can't have her and he doesn't like it. Simple as that."

"So he feels like I did 10 years ago," Riley said, finally feeling a little sorry for the lawyer. He knew what it was like to love someone when they didn't love you the way you wanted them too.

"No Riley, there's a major difference between you and Lindsey," Willow corrected. "Buffy was in love with you, she only loves Lindsey."

"And I know what a hard pill that is to swallow!"

Part Twenty-One

The adult members of the household were sitting around the kitchen table, finishing their wine and coffee and discussing their new plans for the holiday. Each seemed to have a glow on his or her face as they thought of the upcoming few weeks, after all, spending the holidays with someone you loved was what Christmas was all about!

"Mom and Giles, Dawn, Xander, Anya and Mason, Cordelia and Angel, and Wesley have all agreed to come. I haven't been able to get hold of Spike yet, but I doubt that he'll come. Lindsey says someone has to stay behind to oversee the office and the associates, so he and Darla won't becoming," Buffy said to the others, consulting her notes.

"Is Lindsey okay with you staying away from the office so long?" Willow asked as she traced the veins on the inside of Graham's wrist.

"He'll have to be. I'm staying here with my son and his father and that's all there is to it. I had a conversation with Jordan that made me sit up and think about the time I have left with him. She made me realise that these may be my last days with my son and I want his every wish to come true this Christmas."

What Buffy had failed to tell them when she gave them the good news, was Lindsey's reaction to Buffy and Evan's new plans. He'd flatly refused to even consider flying to Boston to spend the holidays in Riley's company. His anger had been so raw on the phone that it frightened Buffy and she was very worried that her being with Riley could cost her one of her best friends. Apparently Hope wasn't the only one who was displeased at the thought of her and Riley together. Shaking her head, Buffy glanced up at Willow as the other woman asked her a question.

"What did she say?"

"Who?" Buffy asked distractedly

"Jordan!" Willow said, eyeing Buffy carefully for signs of senility.

"Oh! Sorry, Will. She just wanted to know what would happen if we didn't find a donor for Evan but I've always believed that Evan would be okay, you know? Right from the start. I felt that," Buffy took a deep breath before going on. "I knew death could be the possible outcome and I tried to be as realistic about his chances as I could but I tried not to dwell on the fact that Evan might die. Then one day I developed this unshakeable belief that he'd survive. I guess I just couldn't deal with the thought of his death. Giles asked me one day if I was prepared, if none of this worked and we lost him. To this day, I still cringe when I think about what I said to him."

Fresh tears welled up in Buffy's eyes and she tried desperately not to cry again. It felt like that was all she'd done since she'd arrived here.

"So what changed it? What made you think about losing the fight?" Graham asked reaching out to hold her hand in his. As he asked this Graham looked up at Riley. He was holding Buffy close to him and Graham could see her pain reflected in his eyes. Graham wondered what he would do if it were his child dying and the only chance he had left at surviving was a test that had an uncertain outcome. Helplessness was not something Graham did very well and neither Buff nor Riley was good at it either.

"When Evan was first diagnosed we used to go to the hospital for his Chemo treatments and he made friends with this little girl named Katalin. Hope reminds me of her. Katalin died a couple of months ago and it just sort of rattled me. I didn't want to think about it but every night I have this dream."

"Dream?" Riley asked cautiously, hoping it wasn't one of those prophetic dreams she used to have as the Slayer.

"It was Evan's funeral and it would terrify me to the point that I wouldn't let myself fall asleep. The doctor had to prescribe tranquillisers for me. It was so real! So I would do whatever I could to avoid thinking of it," Buffy told them, her brow wrinkling. "Coming here though, it's been in my face every time I turn around and today with Jordan's question I realised that if an 8 year old was prepared to ask these questions, why wasn't I?"

"I'm sorry she upset you," Riley said softly, hugging her tightly and blinking back his own tears.

"She didn't actually. She just made me think. You know she offered to come live with me if Evan died? She doesn't want me to be alone, and she wants a mother. So she thought that would make the perfect solution to our problem!" Buffy had to smile a little as she thought of her conversation with Jordan. She was such a sweet little girl, so much like her father.

"That's so sweet and yet so sad at the same time," Willow sniffed, swiping at her own tears.

"Not as sweet as Evan asking me to marry Buffy after he's dead," Riley sighed, wondering if his two oldest children had conspired on this.

"Oh Riley! I'm so sorry that he put you into that position! That was completely unfair!" Buffy gasped, shocked by her son's request. What had made Evan think that Riley would want to marry her once all this was over? Right now, they had each other and they were still in love but watching a child die could put a strain on any good relationship and theirs was still on unsteady ground.

"There's no reason to be sorry, Buffy. He's just concerned about what will happen to you after he's gone. To be honest, I've been thinking about the same thing myself. What will happen if we do lose him? What will we do?" Riley said, as Buffy rested her head against his shoulder. Buffy just shrugged her shoulders sadly because she couldn't answer his questions.

"You know, sitting here discussing the possibility of losing him will not get Christmas planned. With everyone coming, we'll have to see if we can rent hotel rooms close by," Buffy said, looking to Willow for help in changing the subject.

"Yes and we'll have to get Xander or Cordy to pick up all the gifts we've bought already and have them brought here," Willow said, taking Buffy's cue.

" Once we know when everyone can fly out, we'll have Fred fly out to get them, and don't worry about hotels, we have plenty of room. The pool house is empty so we can put Xander and Anya out there. It's private and has plenty of room for three. Your mom and Giles can have Willow's room, since Willow's not using it," Riley said as he looked pointedly at the couple sitting across the table from him and smirked.

"Sam's going home to England for the holidays, it's my gift to her, so we can put Dawn in her room and Angel and Cordelia can have the old chauffeur's room over the garage. It connects to the kitchen by a tunnel so it's vamp friendly."

Riley was looking remarkably pleased with himself as he counted off the newcomers on his fingers.

"So what are we going to do with your parents, two brothers and their families, Smart guy?" Buffy smirked up at him.

"And you forgot Wesley," Willow piped up.

"Okay let's try this again. Willow and I will stay at the penthouse with Cordelia, Angel and Wesley. There's no reason to freak your parents out having Angel under the same roof as them. Buffy don't give me that look! You never know. He could slip into game face and it could cause a huge scene. I'm just trying to protect them from the truth is all," Graham said calmly. He didn't know Angel and had no reason to make any other judgements about him.

"Riley's Mom and Dad can have my room, your brother Kevin, Chris and the boys can have the servant's rooms behind the kitchen. Xander and clan can still bunk down in the pool house and Dawn will be in Sam's room. Who knows? If Marc plays his cards right, he could be bunking down with Dawn by the end of the holiday!"

Graham smirked as Buffy sputtered at the idea of her little sister bunking down with anyone, even Riley's brother.

"I'm just joking Buff," Graham laughed.

"Okay, so we only have to find Marc a room and we're set."

"How 'bout the library?" Willow suggested.

"No way! He'll be reading all my files. Do you have any more room at the penthouse?" Riley asked.

"I guess he can stay there, but he has to understand that I'm a one woman man these days. No more prowling the bars," Graham warned.

"He can take Wes," Willow offered, smiling at her boyfriend.

"Okay, deal. Now I just have to tell my parents about Evan," Riley said.

"You still haven't told them? I thought you and Buffy were planning on calling them the other night?" Graham exclaimed, noticing how nervous Riley seemed about having to tell his parents. Although the Finns where a very Catholic family and that whole sex-before- marriage thing probably would have caused problems years ago, Buffy and Riley were adults now. It shouldn't be a big deal. Graham knew, however, that Riley had a very close with his parents and he was afraid that this revelation might very well jeopardise it.

"No. We were going to call them, but after the scare with Willow, it sort of got forgotten about," Riley said, looking more like his 9 year old son than the grown man he was. Graham always marvelled at how parents could change confident adults into little kids. It was times like these Graham was glad he was an orphan!

"Sounds to me like you used that as an excuse not to call," Graham said truthfully, not mincing words with Riley. If there was one thing that their friendship was, it was honest. Neither man held anything back from the other and maybe that's why they had managed to run such a successful business. Sure there were days when the two didn't speaking, but those days were very few and even farther between.

"Riley?" Buffy asked, looking up at him in disbelief.

"Look, as much as I know my parent's are going to love you and Evan, I'm going to catch major shit on this one. First of all there's the not being responsible thing. They'll say I should have known about Evan blah, blah, blah. Second, they're going to fry my ass over getting you pregnant when we were both so young and then leaving you. Finally, I'm going to be trouble for waiting until now to tell them."

"You didn't know," Buffy said, rubbing his arm.

"I know that and you know that, but parents…" Riley just shook his head and wondered how they were going to take the news.

"C'mon now, your parents are pretty cool, Rye. It'll just take them a few minutes to grasp the whole story. When they realise that you're not the 23 year old you were back then, well, they'll calm down," Graham said, swirling his wine around in the wineglass.

"Ah yes, but can you imagine my mother, when she realises that her first grandchild has been kept from her? I might as well starting looking for a cemetery plot now," he sighed as he got up from the table to answer the buzzer for the front gate intercom system.

"Maybe that's them now. You know, ears burning and everything," Willow giggled.

"Better not be," Riley huffed, shooting Willow a sour look.

"Hello?"

"Will it be that bad for him, Gray?" Buffy asked quietly as she watched Riley on the phone.

"I don't know. When Claire was pregnant they were so excited at the prospect of his having children, but things were different by then..."

Feeling someone pinch him, Graham turned to look at Willow and he remembered that it was possible Riley hadn't told Buffy the whole truth about his and Claire's wedding. Graham shut up immediately. It wasn't his place to tell Buffy that Claire had been pregnant before they got married and that it was the reason that there was a wedding at all. Riley had chosen not tell his parents about that, preferring to let them think that Jordan was a little premature.

"Special delivery for Willow Rosenberg," Riley said looking at Willow.

"Your agent must really want you to look at this script."

"Well, he did sound a little anxious about me seeing it right away. That's just typical Roger though. You'd think sometimes that I'm his only client!"

Riley left the room to answer the door and a few moments later returned with a long flower box in his hands.

"No script, just this," he said, handing Willow the box.

Looking at the box, Graham glanced at his watched and noticed it was after 8:00 p.m. What flower shopped delivered that late?

Willow took the card off the box assuming it was from Roger, a get well gesture, but as she pulled the card out and saw the note, she started to shake uncontrollably. Dropping the card as though it had bite her, her hands flew to her mouth and she turned frightened eyes to Graham.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Graham asked, his voice thick with concern. He bent to pick up the card that had fallen to the floor.

"Willow,

Glad to hear about your accident, I'm just sorry I didn't cause it. Watch your back Red! I'm getting closer.

And remember, I warned you about what could happen if you left me.

X"

Ripping the lid off the box Graham saw a dozen dead roses lying in the tissue. Roaring, he threw the box against the wall.

< How could that bastard have found her here? >

Buffy watched both Willow and Graham's reactions and felt lost. The terrified looks on both their faces made her heart grow cold and seeing them two clinging to each other was too frightening for words.

"Who are they from?" She asked, afraid of the answer she might be given. Riley took the card from Graham's grip and read it before passing it to Buffy. Watching Riley's face quickly pale, she reached for the card and read the message. Seeing the threat written in black and white shocked her to the bone. She'd seen the other threats but this one seemed more real somehow, more determined. He'd tracked her down half way across the country, which meant he was more than serious.

"How did he know you were here?" Buffy suddenly asked.

"What?" Graham blinked pulling his face out of Willow's neck.

"I asked how did he know you were here Will?" Buffy looked at them all and then down at the dead roses strewn around the kitchen floor.

"I'm… I 'm not sure? The only people I told were Roger, Emeila my housekeeper and…" Willow shook so hard her teeth were chattering against each other. She was grateful that Graham was holding her so tight because she had a feeling that the floor would be rising to meet her if he wasn't. She needed to tell them everything and that included whom she had talked to. She looked sideways at Graham before continuing,

"Russell. And of course the gang."

Willow glanced up at Graham's already upset face again. She was afraid that he would be angry with her, but all she saw was his fear of losing her. Snuggling closer to him for comfort, she felt his arms tighten around her.

"You told Russell where you were? Why?" Buffy asked curious as to her friend's logic.

"He called about the movie and told him I was in Boston, that's it. He didn't have the address or Riley's name, so please, don't even think it's him," she warned Buffy.

"Okay. So you've told no one else?" Riley asked, moving towards the phone.

"What are you doing?" Graham demanded as Riley reached for the phone but Riley waved him off as he dialled a number and waited for someone to pick up on the other end.

"King, it's Riley. Activate the full security plan for the house here. I want two cars on each of the gates, front and back. Nobody and I mean nobody gets in unless they're on my list. Is that clear? I want this place secured lock, stock and barrel. If you need anything, call me."

With that Riley broke the connection. Dialling again, he waited for someone to answer.

"Bridget, is Tom home?" Riley asked as he heard the person on the other end of the phone say hello

. "Rye, good thinking. I think we need the police on this one," Graham said to Willow as he tried to calm her by rubbing her back.

"Tom. It's Riley. Look we need your department's help and it needs to be done very quietly. I have a high profile friend staying with me and she's just received a serious death threat. We need this dealt with immediately," Riley stopped talking for a minute and listened to the other man.

"It' Willow Rosenberg." Silence again.

"Yes the actress. We've just had a dozen dead roses delivered here with a death threat. I'm not sure, but the man that delivered the flowers could be part of this. It's the second threat made against her in days."

Willow's head bobbed up when she heard Riley give the police officer this information and she looked questioningly at him then at Buffy and Graham.

"What's he talking about?" She asked. No one was forthcoming with an answer.

"Okay Tom, I'll see you in a bit," Riley hung up the phone and stalked out of the kitchen.

"Where's Riley gone, and what did he mean, the second attempt?" Willow asked again as her eyes darted wildly back and forth between her friends.

"He probably went to check and see if the system's been activated and then to check on the kids. Anytime something like this happens he has to check on the kids. It calms him down."

"I'll go find him," Buffy said, fleeing the room in search of Riley. Could he have been right, could the stalker have been here tonight? The thought freaked her out. She found him in the den with the kids.

Tristan was cuddled up on his lap and he was hugging her. What exactly had Graham meant when he said 'anytime something like this happens'? Had someone threatened Riley's family before? Buffy moved into the room and sat down on the couch next to Riley.

"Mom are you gonna watch this with us?" Evan asked, looking up at her from his place on the floor.

"For a bit honey. Dad and I thought that maybe we'd just hang out with you guys for awhile. Is that okay?" She smiled at her son and Jordan. The kids were so unaware of the darkness that existed in the world that she could understand Riley's need to be with them and to protect them if only for a little while.

"Sure. Is everything all right?"

"Sure, Ev. Graham and Willow just need to talk alone that's all," Riley said as he reached over and squeezed Buffy's hand. He hoped he was telling the truth.

__________________________________________________ In the kitchen Graham sat on the kitchen floor with Willow tucked safely into his arms as she cried her eyes out. The brash, sexy woman who'd pulled him into the tub with her this morning was gone and in her place remained a terrified little girl who needed his protection.

What hadn't she told him about the previous threats? Was there a hint in this one that only she could pick up? He needed to tell her about her home being broken into but he was afraid it would push her over the edge right now. He knew she needed to know but every time he'd tried to bring it up, she'd cried harder and clung to him for dear life.

Riley's comment about the stalker possibly being the one who delivered the flowers scared him to death. What would have happened if Willow had been the one to open the door? Would he have just killed her instead of making his delivery? The thought sickened him as he rocked her, trying to calm her and as well as himself. It wouldn't do for her to see him fall apart and losing her would definitely do that to him.

"Willow, honey. Your safe here, I have you," he whispered over and over as he held her and wiped away her tears. Graham wasn't sure whom he was trying to convince with his words. He wondered if he could keep her safe. It scared him to think of how close that psycho had gotten to them tonight and Graham knew he couldn't let his guard down until this creep was caught.

"No one's safe," Willow said, looking up into his eyes. Graham shuddered at the look he saw there. It was pure terror and it sent a sent a shivers down his spine.

"No… Will, your safe here. Riley's activated the security system and nobody can get past this thing, not even an ant, without us knowing. I should know, I designed it," he assured her.

"You don't get it! He's going to kill me!" Willow shook her head and muttered, "All those years spent on the Hellmouth and some psycho human with an obsession is going to kill me. He warned me about trying to run away you know."

Graham had to strain to hear her words as she was whispering now.

"No one's going to hurt you! No one, I swear!" Graham said forcefully as he took her beautiful face between both his hands. He was so angry that someone would try to hurt his Willow that it was causing his chest to tighten and he could feel his own tears of anger prickling at the back of his eyes.

"He's… always… there. It's like he's…like he's watching me."

Graham was glad when Willow buried her head back into his chest. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. This guy, this nut, had done what he'd wanted to do. Willow was terrified.

"Baby, as long as you're in my arms, there's nothing I won't do to protect you. Do you understand me? I will never, ever let anyone harm a hair on your head," Graham said, pulling her head back up so their foreheads rested against each other and they were eye to eye.

"You can't protect me all the time, Graham. You can't be there every minute," she hiccuped.

"Try me," he answered and then smiled at her.

**** After the police had investigated the scene and took away the offending flowers and card, Buffy and Graham put a still shocked Willow to bed while Riley sat in the den studying the LAPD police file on Willow's stalker. He was glad that Sam had been home tonight to put the kids to bed for them because he was feeling as low was humanly possible right now and he didn't feel like explaining it to the children. He'd been the one to let that maniac in and he was deeply upset by it. What would have happened if he'd pushed his way into the house? There was no way he could have protected Buffy, Willow and the kids. He would have been lying on the floor in a pool of blood as surely as they would have been. The sound of the phone pulled him from his maudlin thoughts and he moved to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Riley? I just got your message. What's happening there?" Xander almost yelled down the phone line, startling Riley.

"Xander. Thanks for getting back to me so quick. Things are not of the good here."

"Are Willow and Buffy okay? How's Evan?" Xander asked quickly.

"They're all fine. A little shaken up, but fine."

"What are you talking about? Hold on a minute will ya, Riley? Angel,he hasn't told me yet!"

The impatience and irritation in Xander's voice was clear through the telephone connection as he spoke to the souled vampire who was in the room with him and hovering over his shoulder as he spoke to Riley.

"Xander, the stalker knows Willow's here," Riley said slowly so the other man could hear him.

"The stalker knows where she is?" Xander asked in disbelief and then sighed in annoyance. "Hold on a minute Riley. Do you mind if we put you on hands free? Angel and Wesley want to hear this too."

"Yeah sure, it would make sharing information easier," Riley said. He wasn't entirely sure he was comfortable with the idea but he realised it was in Willow's best interests to have her friends know what was going on. Riley heard the line click and knew that the call had been converted to hands free.

"Hello Riley," said a voice he hadn't heard in over 10 years. Surprisingly he felt no anger towards this man anymore and even though he knew Angel would always hold a place in both Buffy's and Evan's hearts he no longer felt the jealousy that had once nearly torn him apart. Plus he knew that Angel and Coredlia were together, and the couple had adopted a set of twins boys who were now 5.

"Hey Angel. It's nice to talk to you again. I hear that your agency is doing well," Riley said easily.

"So you've heard?" Angel asked, startled that Riley was aware of his firm's success.

"My contacts tell me you're doing good things out there. Congratulations," Riley said to answer Angel's question.

"We're doing okay, but we aren't even in the same league as your company," Angel said modestly. "We're still a mom-and-pop operation compared to you."

"Different client base, that's all."

"Hey! Can we get back to the Willow thing?" Xander snapped, obviously worried about his best friend and tired of the small talk.

"Tonight we had a package delivered here for Willow," Riley began, "I opened the door and was handed a rose box and card. The funny thing about this is the time, it was past 8:00 p.m. Pretty late for a flower delivery, I'd say."

"I'm with you on that," Angel agreed.

"Anyway, Willow opens the card and it's from her friendly stalker. Seems he knows she's staying here at my place. Said he was glad to hear about her accident, just sorry he didn't cause it and that he was getting closer."

"He's a sick bastard," Angel hissed, wishing he could protect his friend.

"That' not all. The flowers? A dozen dead roses. Our boy had time to plan this," Riley said, voicing his thoughts aloud for the first time.

"Who ever this is knew she was coming here with Buffy. It has to be someone who knows her schedule or at least has access to it."

"Well between her personal trainer, assistant, agent, his assistant, the studio execs on the Casablanca deal, her house keeper, cook and pool boy, it could be any number of people," Xander sighed.

"So what your telling me Xander, is that half of Hollywood knew where she was heading?" Riley asked, irritated that half of LA knew her whereabouts.

"Just about," Wesley sighed, making his presence known for the first time.

"Great!"

"Look, Riley she's a very public person. Certain people feel they own her. She's a business! I'm not saying I agree with it, but she is. People depend on her, so she had to make excuses. She had to cancel a Leno appearance this week," Xander explained.

"So what we need to know find out is how many of these people she talked to are still in town or have connections in Boston," Riley said, thinking out loud.

"We'll get right on it. Just make sure you and Graham keep Willow safe," Angel said, wishing he were there to make sure they did it right.

"Don't you worry Angel, she won't be out of our sight. Buffy and Graham are with her right now. She's pretty shaken up. Is there anything else from the LAPD? I'm reading the case file, and it seems that our boy's been busy with this for a few years now."

"Yeah busy little beaver," Wesley said sarcastically as he thought of all the notes that her stalker had slipped her all over the years.

"Nothing new. Kate said she'd keep me informed if anything came up in the crime scene report. Entry was clean, no fingerprints, and they can't trace the blood. I'd say from the smell it was pig's blood," Angel said, hoping his recognition of the pig's blood wouldn't freak out the ex-commando.

"So all we can do is keep our eyes open," Riley sighed, feeling completely useless.

"Pretty much. Oh, good luck tomorrow with the marrow tests. All our prayers and thought will be with you tomorrow. Give Evan a hug for me and Riley… thank you for this," Angel added before Riley could hang up.

"Angel, he's my son. There's no reason to thank me. I just wish I hadn't been so stubborn all those years ago."

"Hey, are you forgetting that I loved her once too? Sometimes the only way to forget her and save yourself is to walk away and never look back."

Riley could hear the regret and sadness in the vampire's voice and he suddenly had a burning desire to talk to Angel about this in greater detail, but knew now wasn't the time.

"Riley!"

"Yeah Xander?"

"Call afterwards, will you? It's hell being so far away from them when this is happening."

"I'll have Buffy call. Don't worry Xander. I have a good feeling about this."

"Good bye, Riley. We'll call if we find something out," Angel said and hoped that it wouldn't be too late for Willow by then.

"Talk to you later, and thanks for your concern. I know Willow and Graham would thank you as well."

Hearing the phone disconnect on the other end, Riley hung up. He shook his head and sighed over this latest turn of events. From the sound of it, Willow's whereabouts were public knowledge. She'd need to be a lot more careful from now on.

"Who was that?" Graham's voice startled Riley and he jumped.

"Xander and Angel," Riley said, turning around to look at Graham.

"You look like hell."

"Thanks, I must be almost as pretty as you are."

Riley ignored the comment and looked at Graham long and hard. In the last couple of hours he'd aged 10 years and his whole body seemed battered and defeated.

"You okay? And don't bullshit me, Gray." Riley asked as he crossed the room to stand in front of his best friend.

"No I'm not okay! This bastard's getting closer and closer, and it's scaring the hell out of me, Rye. I've just found her again, I can't lose her now! She's so scared that Buffy had to pry her arms from around my neck once she fell to sleep. I hated leaving her, but we need to talk."

"I know. I'm sorry about tonight. I should have used the monitor, checked for a license plate or something. It's my fault he got away. Hell, I even tipped the son of a bitch!" Riley's frustration and anger at himself erupted. He felt so responsible for this!

"I know it's not your fault, Rye. I know that you would never put any of the people you love in danger, including Willow."

"Thanks and I do love her, you know. I never meant to…" Riley's voice trailed off as he sat down heavily on the couch.

"Is Buffy with her?" he asked after a few moments.

"Yeah. Steve's sedatives worked wonders, she went out like a light. I just hope she doesn't have any nightmares. I can't protect her from those," Graham sighed rubbing the back of his neck as he sat down next to Riley.

"She in your room?"

Graham just nodded his head wishing the pain behind his right eye would disappear. His stress headaches always started this way. Holding Willow for so long hadn't allowed him to pace off his stress tonight.

"Graham, I have the place wired for sound right now. The place is sealed as tight as a drum, so try to relax. Angel has nothing new but will let us know when he does and he's also checking into the whereabouts of everyone who knew Willow was going to be in Boston. He'll also check to see if they have any roots to Boston. Until then, there's nothing we can do."

"Maybe it would be best if I took Willow back to my place. What with the bone marrow tests tomorrow, the last thing you and Buffy need to deal with is this," Graham said shaking his head and wondering how he was going to get through this latest disaster.

"Don't worry about it. It's keeping my mind off tomorrow. Besides this place is more secure than your building. She's safer here and Buffy would kill you, if you tried to take her, and I have enough on my plate right now. I don't need to be planning your funeral too," Riley said, smiling at his old friend.

"Yeah it would be my funeral, wouldn't it? Now that you mention it, you should see how she's doing the mother lioness thing up stairs. It's kind of scary! Reminds me of you and the girls."

"Hey! I have never acted like a female lion!" Riley's head snapped up to look at his friend.

"No, not much," Graham said sarcastically. It would be interesting to see Riley's reaction when his daughters began dating.

"Ha! Ha! You're so funny."

"So are you down here all alone because of you feel guilty about the attempt on Willow or because you're nervous about tomorrow?" Graham asked, sensing Riley's nervousness.

"Tomorrow," he said simply as he stood and moved towards the fireplace.

"Rye, it'll be okay. I have a good feeling about this."

"You sure?"

"Look, you're his father and Jordy's almost a spitting image of him. One of you will be a match, I'm sure of it," Graham said, coming to stand directly behind Riley..

"From your lips to God's ears," Riley sighed, hoping Graham was right. Turning around Graham noticed the huge, dark circles under his best friend's eyes.

"Look, we've got it wired tomorrow. Willow and I will stay with Tristan and Hope. Buffy will be with Jordan and we're gonna find the biggest, nastiest nurse to keep an eye on you. Nothing can go wrong," Graham assured him, putting his hand on Riley's shoulder and wishing that he could throw his arms around his friend and hug him like Buffy and Willow did. Why was it so hard for men to do that?

"Knock on wood."

"Maybe we should both crash. Tomorrow promises to be a busy day."

"You're probably right. I just hope we all survive it."

__________________________________________________________ Riley had just started to drift off to sleep when he heard a knock on his door. Struggling to sit up in bed, he told the person to enter figuring it was one of the kids. He was more than a little surprised to see Buffy's petite silhouette in the doorway.

"Were you asleep Riley? I didn't want to disturb you, but I couldn't sleep. Could we talk?" Buffy asked, standing in the doorway, clad only in her silk nightshirt. The nightshirt came to just above her knees and the light coming from behind her revealed how thin the silk was. Riley noticed that there were buttons down the front and he wondered how easily those buttons would slide out of their buttonholes.

From the doorway, Buffy's eyes immediately went to Riley's naked chest. She knew he must have something on under the covers as he'd told her once that one of the girls usually ended up sleeping with him. Tonight she was glad he was alone because tonight she needed him all to herself.

"Sure. Come on in Buffy. Do you want to move into the sitting area?"

"No, this will be fine," she said as she climbed up on the end of his king-size bed and curled up there.

"Why don't you join me up here? It's a lot warmer," he said, throwing the sheets back to invite her into his bed. As much as Riley was throwing the invitation out, he knew that her visit wasn't about sex. She just needed the comfort that only he could offer her. Buffy was Evan's mother and he was his father and only they could truly share in the apprehension that thoughts of tomorrow brought.

Buffy climbed up the bed and slipped under the covers, careful to keep her distance from him. Right now it would be so easy to ask him to make love to her, but she needed to have a clear head for tomorrow. She didn't want it clouded with images of Riley making love to her or the look on his face as he came inside her. Even though she knew she should be alone in her own bed asleep, a voice kept calling her down the hall to him. She knew if anyone could help her tonight, it was the man lying next to her.

"Thanks. I just didn't want to be alone," she smiled nervously at him, trying to resist the urge she had to look under the covers to see if he did have something on.

"Are you going to lie all the way over there, or are you going to come over here?" He asked her, patting the pillow beside his own head. Buffy bit her lips and contemplated the situation for a moment before scooting across the mattress to join him. Laying her head on his pillow, she felt him pull her up against him so his arms held her close.

"Oh, that feels so good," she sighed peacefully, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What does?" He asked perplexed. He hadn't really done anything yet.

"Lying her in your arms. Do you know how many nights I would lie awake, wishing your arms were around me? I always felt safe here," she said softly as she trailed her fingers up his arms.

"I'm glad they can be of service," he smiled, looking into her hazel eyes, suddenly forgetting where they were, or even about anything beyond this bed.

"I'm going to say something Riley, and I don't want you take it the wrong way okay? Tonight isn't about us making love together. It's about us just being together. I need you tonight, and I thought that with everything you've been through in the last couple days maybe you'd like to fall asleep in someone's arms for a change," she said, biting her bottom lip.

Riley just stared at her and didn't say anything so she continued,

"I saw the look on your face this morning when it was mentioned that Willow and Graham were sleeping together last night. I saw the look of longing on your face. You miss not having anyone to cuddle with, don't you?" She asked him as her hand finally found it's way to the whiskered skin of his face.

"I miss feeling the way Claire and I would spoon together, and she'd hold my hand in hers. No matter how bad the nightmares got, I always knew she was there."

Riley's hand had found it's way to the back of Buffy's neck and was soon caressing the tension out of her neck.

"Nightmares?" She asked concerned about the types of nightmares that this demon hunter would have that would keep him awake.

"All the time," he whispered, looking across the pillow at her. Could he tell her about his nightmares? Would they frighten her as they had him?

"What about?" She prompted.

"You," was his whispered reply.

"Me?" Buffy suddenly found herself whispering as well. Riley nodded and was silent for a few moments.

"Dying," he finally whispered, his eyes closed.

Buffy could see the pain that these dreams had obviously brought him and her heart ached for him. Like so many other times, she wished she could take it away for him.

"But I'm not dead Riley. I'm right here in your arms," she whispered softly into his ear.

"I use to see you alone and scared while you were dying and you'd be calling my name and then I'd flash to Claire and I on our wedding day or something. I know it was the guilt I felt for leaving you to fight Sunnydale alone and my fear of a world without you in it," he said, holding her tighter still. He was suddenly afraid that if he let go, she'd disappear from his life, like the morning fog around the harbour on a summer day.

"I'm here, alive," she said as she leaned in to kiss his forehead. She tried to offer him the comfort that she knew he craved.

"There would be nights, after those dreams, that Claire and I would end up making love and during those time, I'd dream it was you."

As this confession slipped from his lips he looked away, suddenly feeling that he'd betrayed his dead wife again. He had loved Claire very much but he had never been fair to her because his heart had mostly belonged to another woman.

"Riley, do you know how many times I've tried to have relationships with other men, and after the first time we made love, I'd end it? Do you know why?"

Riley shook his head and so she continued,

"Because each time I closed my eyes, it was you who made love to me, not them. I was using them and there was no way I could allow myself to do that to someone."

"You're saying that I've ruined you for other men?" He smirked sadly.

"Most definitely, Mr. Finn."

She leaned in and claimed his beautiful mouth as her own and as the kiss that had started out as a simple display of her love for him deepened, they both poured everything they had into it. Buffy could feel everything that Riley had felt for her the last 10 years, and as his hands caressed her back, she could feel the need he had to make her understand how he'd never forgotten her.

As Riley pulled back form the kiss he looked into Buffy's tear filled eyes. He could see everything that her kiss held reflected in her eyes and he suddenly knew the truth.

"You really do love me, don't you?" he gasped.

"I've never stopped. You have always owned my heart, Riley, I'm just sorry I never told you." she said, stroking his face.

"Promise me one thing," he said, caressing her back. "I'll promise you anything."

"Never leave me again. Promise me that you'll always be in my arms when I fall asleep every night."

The look on his face was so serious as he said this that Buffy realised he wasn't joking.

"This isn't a marriage proposal or anything. That will come someday. This is just me telling you that you have always owned my heart as well," he said as he reached out to wipe away a happy tear as it rolled down her cheek.

"What about Hope?" Buffy stammered.

"We'll deal with Hope together. When I'm done with her, she won't remember why she didn't like you in the beginning," Riley said, lifting her chin to kiss her mouth again.

"We can't force her, Riley," she said, pulling her chin from his grasp. It was easier to talk about this with him when she wasn't drowning in his eyes.

"Buffy, I wouldn't force any of my children to love you, just like I wouldn't force them to eat their Brussels sprouts. I know my daughter and all she wants is for me to be happy. She thinks that Claire was when I was the happiest but when she sees the love and happiness you bring me, she'll let go of her anger at you. I can see it happening already."

Looking deeply into his eyes Buffy saw that he only spoke the truth.

"One day I hope to marry you, but I want you to know I won't do it if it makes my children unhappy. I need them to understand that my love for you does not out weigh the love I have for their mother."

"I understand that, Riley, and I wouldn't want it any other way."

"So like this thing tomorrow, we're in this thing together. I will never turn my back on you out of anger, despair or fear. I promise to love you and give myself freely to you. I will hold your heart in my hands and I will give it all the love and care it rightfully deserves."

Leaning in he kissed her gently to seal his pact with her.

"I promise that I will always keep myself open to you. I will never close my heart or self to you again. You will own my heart freely, and I know that you will always protect it. I will love you with my whole being and each night I will thank God for giving you back to me. I will protect you and your children as though they were my own," Buffy promised him and she lifted his hand and kissed his ring finger before kissing him on the lips.

"So I guess we've just pledged ourselves to each other?" Riley smiled, smugly.

"Yeah, and we didn't even have to do it on tv," she grinned at him.

"What?" He scrunched his face up in the cute way he had when he didn't understand her.

"You know, like on PBS, the pledge marathons…"

Suddenly realising how stupid she sounded, Buffy trailed off and felt her face turn red.

"So you've taken to watching PBS in your old age?" He said catching her bottom lip between his teeth.

"All the time," she mumbled as his mouth claimed hers.

To be continued...