But at this moment, the farthest thing from Riley’s mind was the task at hand. He tried to concentrate, but was finding it difficult to keep his thoughts on his duties. Despite the dark seriousness of the situation, Riley had a smile on his face. He had been smiling all day. He couldn’t help it.
The source of his elation was a girl. But not just any girl. No, this girl was special. And her name was Buffy. Of course, this wasn’t the first time thinking of her made him smile. He had been smiling since the day he saw her in Professor Walsh’s class. No. This time it was different. Somehow, he was different.
Riley sighed and closed his eyes. He could still smell her. And taste her. And even right now, in the middle of surveillance, he wanted her. Very badly.
He had always wanted her, but the feeling was stronger than ever. Especially since last night. Riley smiled at the memory. Making love to Buffy was even better than he had imagined it would be. And his imagination was very active. But what was even better was waking up with her in his arms. Watching her sleep filled him with such an immense feeling of belonging. He already knew his heart, his soul, his body belonged to her. And when she woke up and smiled at him, he felt like he could die right then and it would be okay.
He loved everything about her. Her eyes, her smile, her strength, her vulnerability, everything. Especially the way she said his name…
“Riley!”
He snapped out of his reverie and looked at Forrest, who was looking rather annoyed.
“Would you pay attention please? Where were you anyway?” Forrest asked.
But before Riley could respond, Forrest interrupted.
“You know what, man? I don’t even want to know. Besides, we don’t have time to chat. Cold body, 3 o’clock.”
Suddenly, Riley was strictly business. He grabbed his weapon and stood up.
“Let’s go.”
The two commandos walked stealthily through the darkness, Riley on point. They held their weapons high, at the ready. They were nearing the campus, near Stevenson Hall. Buffy’s dorm.
Forrest glanced at the infrared and stopped, motioning to Riley to do the same. Silently, he pointed ahead of him at a dark figure standing in the shadows. The figure stood motionless, looking up at the dorm windows.
Riley positioned himself to the right of the figure and motioned to Forrest to take the left. The creature remained oblivious to its circumstances. It was surrounded.
When Riley was sure of the shot, he motioned to Forrest to raise his weapon. Weapons raised, Riley signaled, and the electricity flowed. Right on the mark.
The creature fell to the ground, twitching and gurgling. Riley and Forrest closed in quickly.
“Vampire,” Forrest whispered.
Riley nodded in agreement.
“Okay. Bag him and tag him.”
Three more camouflage-clad commandos appeared and quickly carried the creature away. Riley surveyed the scene and seemed satisfied.
“Move out.”
He and Forrest walked back into the darkness, back to their station on the hill.
***
The next morning, Riley led the debriefing about the previous night’s captures. A total of three subterrestrials had been captured. Pretty good for a night’s work. But he was eager to meet Buffy for breakfast and so he made the meeting short and sweet.
When Professor Walsh stopped him on his way out, he wasn’t pleased.
“Agent Finn, a word please.” She pulled him aside.
Riley knew better than to argue, so he just listened with all the patience he could muster.
“What is it, Professor?”
Now alone, she spoke in a less formal tone.
“Riley. There’s something I think you should know about one of the hostiles you captured last night.”
He was curious now. “Which one?”
“The vampire. He mentioned Buffy.” She looked at him squarely.
“Buffy? When?” Riley was confused.
“Last night. After he was brought in. He kept saying her name over and over again.”
Riley felt his chest tighten. That vamp knows Buffy. That’s why they found him at Stevenson.
“What else did he say?” he asked, his voice tense.
Professor Walsh answered in a flat tone. Her usual tone.
“Nothing. Just her name. I thought you would want to know.”
Riley was looking past the professor, not really focusing on anything.
“Yes. Thanks for telling me.”
***
The sliding door opened to a bright white room lined on both sides by cells. Cages really, except there were no bars. At first glance, it didn’t look as though there were any doors either. But the hostiles were kept inside by electric fields. Touch them and the hostiles were sent flying to the back of the cell. They learned to stay put soon enough.
Riley walked down the long corridor. To his left and right, creatures of all shapes and sizes slumped on the floors of their cells. They were housed according to date of capture. The most recent captures were at the end of the hall. That was exactly where Riley was headed.
He stopped in front of the cell where Hostile 23 was being held. The pint of blood dropped through the compartment in the ceiling remained on the floor, untouched. The vampire sat up, leaning against the back wall. He looked at Riley.
“You put me in here, didn’t you?” the vampire asked icily.
“No. I just made it easier for someone else to do so.” Riley never took his eyes off the vamp.
Silence built up between them.
“What do you want?” the vampire asked, annoyed.
“I think I should be asking you that. What do you want with Buffy?” he asked sternly.
The vampire stood up and walked towards Riley. He was tall and handsome. And Riley could tell that there was something about him that was different than all the other vamps he had seen. But he couldn’t put his finger on it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The vamp looked at Riley and spoke in an even, monotone voice.
“Buffy. You know her. How?” Riley didn’t back down.
Riley had seen Buffy fight and knew her strength and found it hard to believe that there was a vamp alive that knew her. But apparently this one did.
But if the vamp knew anything, he wasn’t saying. He kept silent.
“You can’t hurt her now,” Riley stated. “And I will find out your connection to her, I can promise you that.”
The vampire just walked away, turning his back on Riley.
Riley felt himself getting angry.
“Enjoy your stay.”
He walked out of the corridor.
***
Riley was more than a little preoccupied when he arrived at the student union to meet Buffy. He didn’t even see her sitting on the couch in the main hall when he walked in.
Buffy jumped out of her seat and ran over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Good morning!” she squealed and squeezed him.
Feeling the sudden need to protect her, Riley wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
“I am so glad to see you! Are you okay?” His voice was full of concern.
Buffy pulled away and looked up at him.
“I’m fine. In fact, I can say without a doubt that I am the greatest I’ve been in a very long time.” She smiled and her entire face lit up.
Riley let out his breath and gently brushed her cheek with his fingers.
“I’m very glad to hear you say that.”
He pulled her to him once again and kissed her. It was a soft kiss at first, building in intensity. He needed her to be close to him, always.
But as abruptly as it began, the kiss ended.
“Wow…” Buffy said, letting out her breath. “That was…” She searched for the right words.
“I know…inappropriate. I’m sorry.” Riley absently wiped the lipstick from his mouth.
Buffy gave him a look. “I was going to say great, but inappropriate is just as good.” She winked.
Riley couldn’t help but smile in spite of the fear that was eating him up inside. Her sarcasm always made him laugh.
“Now that’s better. You had me worried there for a second. I mean, first you walk in and don’t even see me. Then you kiss me and apologize for it. I was beginning to think something was wrong. I was hoping you’d still be basking in the afterglow. I know I am…” She laughed and grabbed his arm.
Riley blushed. “Believe me, I’ve thought of little else…You should have seen me last night. Smiling like an idiot in the middle of surveillance. Ask Forrest, he’ll tell you.”
He thought again about the mysterious vampire at the Initiative. How did he know Buffy?
“That’s good to hear. But you know, all this talk is making me hungry. I’m starved. Let’s go eat.” She took his hand and led him into the dining room.
All through breakfast she talked and laughed while Riley smiled and tried to pretend that nothing was bothering him.
“Oh! You’ve hardly touched your pancakes. What’s wrong?” She cocked her head and looked at him expectantly.
“Nothing. Just not hungry.”
Buffy seemed to think about that for a moment. “Oh. Okay. Can I have them?”
Riley had to laugh at that.
“How can someone so tiny eat so much?”
She looked him squarely in the face and proclaimed matter-of-factly, “Battling evil requires a lot of energy.”
“True enough.”
His expression became somber and this time he couldn’t hide it.
“Something’s wrong. I knew it. What is it? Spill.”
Riley looked at her with tired eyes.
“Buffy.”
Really worried now, Buffy sat up and reached across the table for his hand.
“Tell me. Please.”
Riley looked down at the table, then to her hand on his, then to her face. He let out his breath.
“One of the creatures we apprehended last night is a vampire. We found him standing outside your dorm.”
Buffy was listening carefully, but heard nothing that should cause Riley such alarm.
“Yeah?” she prodded.
Riley squeezed her hand. “He knows you.”
Buffy was taken aback. That was odd.
“Me? He knows me and yet he is still alive?” She looked at Riley for an explanation.
Instead, all he said was, “That’s what I’ve been thinking. I was hoping you could enlighten me.” He looked into her eyes.
Buffy pulled her hand away and pushed away from the table. There were only two vampires that knew her that were still alive. The first one was Spike. And she knew that he was at Xander’s house this morning. That left just one.
No, she thought. It couldn’t be.
***
“Angel.” The name rolled off her lips easily. She stood in the corridor, outside his cell. She was hardly breathing. Angel stood in front of her, as close as he could get to her without being shocked. Their eyes connected.
Buffy had insisted that Riley take her to this vampire. On the way, Riley explained the whole story. But Buffy was barely listening. She just kept trying to convince herself that her suspicions were false.
She tried not to look impatient as they passed through security check after security check. She almost ran down the corridor when the last sliding door finally opened.
“Which one?” she had called behind to Riley. But she knew which one. She looked into each cell as she passed, searching for that certain familiar face.
She found it. She was standing there staring at it now.
“Hello, Buffy.”
Buffy fumed. “Don’t ‘hello’ me, Angel. How can you be so casual about all this?” Her eyes burned into him.
Riley stood behind Buffy, unable to speak. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. They were bickering like an old married couple.
There was silence all around as all three of them just stared at each other-Angel at Buffy, Buffy at Angel, Riley at both of them.
Then, feeling as if he needed to make himself known, Riley spoke.
“So how do you two know each other?”
Angel took his eyes off Buffy long enough to cast an uninterested glance at Riley. Buffy jumped.
“Riley!” she said as though she had forgotten he was there. She turned to face him.
“Well?” Riley pressed.
Nothing from Angel.
Buffy glanced over her shoulder at Angel and then looked back at Riley.
“Long story. Very long.”
She reached out and took his hand. He was about to say something when she interrupted him.
“Riley,” she said slowly, whispering. “You have to let him go.”
“What?!” Riley yanked his hand away and took a step back. “Are you crazy?”
“Riley.” Buffy’s voice was calm.
He grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him out of the corridor. When the door was closed securely behind them, he spoke again.
“Let him go? You know I can’t do that! Besides, it’s our job to keep things like him off the street, not put them back on it!” He could feel himself losing control and took a deep breath to try to calm his nerves.
“Riley, please. You have to trust me when I tell you Angel is not a killer.”
“Since when is a vampire not a killer? They kill. It’s what they do.”
Buffy took a step towards him.
“Not Angel. He has a soul, a conscience.”
Riley glared at her. “Oh, he’s the exception to the rule. Is that it?”
“Yes, since you put it that way. He is.”
Riley rubbed his temples. His morning had just gotten steadily worse.
“And how is it that you know so much about him?”
Buffy shifted uneasily and swallowed hard.
“We…we were friends once.” Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible.
Riley was trying to understand how a person whose mission in life was to kill vampires could befriend one. He played around with it in his head until he came up with the only logical solution.
“Okay. You were friends. He was, like, your best friend or your boyfriend or something. Then he was attacked and he changed. But you couldn’t kill him because he meant too much to you. Right?” He prayed that she would say yes.
“Not exactly. Although some parts of that were pretty accurate.” Buffy saw Riley’s face drop and he looked as though he was going to faint.
“Maybe you should sit down.” She grabbed his arm and led him to a bench against the wall. She knelt in front of him and looked into his eyes. She held both of his hands.
“Riley. Angel was a vampire when I met him. I didn’t know that at the time, though.” She stood up and began pacing.
“When I discovered…what he was, I wanted to kill him. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Things had already gone too far.” She paused and looked at Riley. He watched her wearily.
“Angel and I…were lovers.” Buffy heard the air leave Riley and saw him slump further on the bench.
“Oh God.” He rested his head in his hands, his elbows propped on his knees.
Buffy walked quickly over to him and sat beside him.
“Riley, the operative word here is ‘were’. It’s over now. We both realized that it would never work. That’s why he moved to LA. What he was doing here last night, I have no idea. And that’s the truth.” She waited.
Riley sat still for a few moments, not saying a word. When he finally looked up, he had tears in his eyes.
“Did you love him?” he asked her.
Buffy sighed and swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Yes. Very much. I went through a lot for him. He was everything to me.”
Riley shook his head. “Do you still love him?”
Buffy thought a moment. “I can’t say I don’t love him.”
Riley laughed bitterly. “Good answer.”
Buffy knew that he was hurting, but she couldn’t lie.
“Seeing him again made me realize that there is a lot of unresolved stuff there. I don’t know what else to say.”
Riley stood up. “There is nothing else to say. You said everything.”
“Riley.”
“You’ve given me no reason why I should let him go. In fact, from my perspective, you’ve given me a million reasons to keep him here.” He knew he sounded petty, but he couldn’t help it.
“If you think I’m asking you to let Angel go so that I can be with him, you’re wrong.” Buffy stood up.
“Am I? Even I could feel the connection you two have.”
“Yeah, we have a connection. We always will. But I told you, it’s over.” She walked up to him and looked straight into his eyes. “It’s over.”
Riley watched her face, her eyes. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe that she no longer wanted to be with Angel, that that chapter in her life was over. He searched for the answers in her eyes but only found himself.
He turned away. “How long has it been since you last saw him? How do you know that he’s not dangerous?” He was searching, grasping for anything that would make it necessary to keep Angel in that cage. Anything.
“I told you. He has a soul. It’s still there. I could see it in his eyes.” Buffy walked around to face him.
“He’s on the same side we’re on. He fights against demons, against evil. He doesn’t kill for blood, Riley.”
Riley shut his eyes. He didn’t want to hear any more. He couldn’t think straight.
“Okay, alright. I get it.”
Buffy lowered her voice. “So are you going to let him go?”
“I don’t know, Buffy. It’s not that simple. It’s not like I can just go back in there, open the door, and let him walk out. It’s supposed to be a ‘you check in, but you don’t check out’ setup.” Riley’s head was throbbing and he squinted at the pain.
“I know, but what about the experiments? They are going to use him for experiments aren’t they?” Buffy’s tone was urgent.
“I don’t know. Probably. He’d be dead now if they had no use for him.” Why did she have to care so much about this Angel?
Buffy’s face clouded over. “Gee, that’s comforting.” She grabbed his wrist. “Please, Riley. You have to do something.” “Just give me some room to think, would you please? I just need to think about this!” He backed away.
“I’m sorry. Really. I don’t mean to push.”
Riley felt as though the walls were closing in. He needed some air.
“I need to think…” he repeated. He headed for the exit.
“But Riley, what about…?”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. He’s safe for now. They have to be here at least two days before the experiments start. He’s fine.” Riley scanned his palm and spoke his name clearly into a box by the door. The door slid open and he stepped through it. He turned to Buffy.
“You might as well come with me because you can’t get back in there without me and I’m certainly not going to open the door for you now.” He stood impatiently in the doorway.
Buffy stood still for a moment, studying him. Finally, she walked silently past him and out the door.
They walked quickly and quietly through the compound, Riley two steps ahead. When they reached the front door, Riley repeated the palm-voice procedure and the door opened. Buffy knew that since Riley made no move to walk through the door, that this must be her invitation to leave. She looked up at him and stepped out the door.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Yeah.” Riley’s voice was strained. “
Bye.” Buffy turned and walked away.
***
Angel sat on the floor of his completely white cell. The lights were so bright that the glare was almost as brutal as the sun. Except that the lights wouldn’t turn him to dust.
Buffy hadn’t come back. He hoped she would. But he didn’t really expect her to. After all, she had made it clear to him that he was not to come to Sunnydale without telling her he was there. But he had.
He hadn’t meant to come. He was actually on his way back from San Francisco where he had been trailing a particularly nasty demon that had been stalking young women in LA. He was trying to take a shortcut, but he would have been better off taking the scenic route, considering where he now was. Unfortunately (or was it fortunately?) the short cut took him right through Sunnydale. But instead of driving straight through, he stopped. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. If he could just see her, make sure she was okay. That was all.
So here he was now. Trapped-both literally and figuratively. He was stuck in this cell with no foreseeable way out. And he was trapped by his thoughts, his memories. He kept reliving this morning. He saw Buffy standing there, so close. He heard her voice say his name-“Angel.” The moment would have been perfect-except for the being trapped in the cell part-if it hadn’t been for Riley.
Angel remembered seeing Riley briefly on his last trip to Sunnydale-the trip that had prompted Buffy to drop by his office and scold him for not telling her he had been there. Willow had told him that Riley was the Psychology TA. Obviously he was more than that. And obviously Buffy knew it. And obviously Riley and Buffy were more than just friends. Obviously…
Angel banged his fist against the floor. Was he jealous? Of course he was. It reminded him of a moment not too long ago.
“It was just one dance. I only did it to make you crazy, you know, behold my success.”
“I am not jealous.”
“What, vampires don’t get jealous?”
Of course they do. He was. But he didn’t have a right to be. Maybe things would be different if Buffy knew the whole story. If she remembered what really happened in LA. But she doesn’t. That was part of the deal. Angel had made the deal, had shouldered the burden, in order to save her life. To him, knowing she was alive was enough. Most of the time.
***
The professor was lecturing. Something about World War II. Nazis. Something. Buffy wasn’t paying attention. After she had left the Initiative, she took a walk to try to clear her head. It didn’t work. So she had decided that she might as well go to class since she wasn’t getting anything solved outside.
Angel. What was he doing here? Hadn’t she told him to give her advanced warning if he was coming to Sunnydale?
She thought about her response to Riley when he asked her if she still loved Angel-- “I can’t say I don’t love him.” Was that true?
She hadn’t thought about Angel in months. Not since she had gotten serious with Riley. Was that a sign? A sign of what? Maybe she was finally moving on.
That’s what Angel had always said he wanted for her. To move on. To have a future with a warm body, someone who could give her everything he couldn’t. But he was such a hypocrite! Saying one thing and doing another! How was she supposed to move on, to forget about him if he kept popping up out of the blue?
She was getting angry and she could feel her face getting hot. She needed to calm down before she brought attention to herself. She took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the lecture.
But seeing Angel in that cell, standing in front of her, close enough to touch and not being able to-that was a rush. When he said her name, she felt a twinge. Familiarity? Fear? Love? She couldn’t put a finger on it.
But she did know that it was different this time. The fire was not as consuming. The irresistible pull wasn’t as irresistible. It didn’t hurt as much as it used to.
But did that mean that she didn’t love him anymore? She couldn’t say. All she knew was that Riley was hurting and it was all her fault. And now she needed his help. Despite everything, Angel did not deserve to be locked up. Riley just had to figure something out.
***
Riley sat on the edge of his bed, absently throwing the foam basketball at the plastic hoop on the back of the door. He always did that when he was thinking. It always seemed to help him solve his problem. But not this time. He hadn’t made one shot in almost an hour of trying. It was no use.
He threw the ball to the floor and laid back on the bed. How had his day turned out so horribly bad? He had been great when he got up, still smiling.
Buffy. He thought that finding out she was the Slayer was a revelation. That that was the biggest secret she had. But no. Come to find out, she had been sleeping with a vampire.
But it must have been more than that. She told him herself that she didn’t know Angel was a vampire at first. And by the time she found out, she was already in love with him.
He was trying to understand, but he couldn’t get it squared in his head. She said he wasn’t dangerous, that he didn’t kill for blood. So? Vampires kill for other reasons. For fun, for the hell of it.
But the look in her eyes told him that she wasn’t lying. That she knew Angel completely and was telling the truth.
Not two days ago, he and Buffy had made love on this very bed and today she couldn’t deny loving someone else. And an undead someone at that.
Riley sat up. What was he going to do? He would do anything for her, but at the same time he didn’t want to lose her. If he refused to let Angel go, Buffy would probably never forgive him. Angel would surely be killed by the scientists. But if he let Angel go, he might have to let Buffy go too. He wasn’t sure he was willing to do that.
She had told him that it was over between her and Angel. Maybe it was. At least she believed it was. But one sight of the way they looked at each other told a different story. Angel wanted her, Riley could see that. But Buffy. What did she want? Who did she want? Riley wasn’t sure if even Buffy knew the answer.
***
“Do you really think it’ll work?” The dark eyes were doubtful, the expression blank.
“It will if you cooperate.” Riley stood on the other side of the electric boundary, glaring at Angel.
“Of course.” Angel shrugged. So Riley was going to help him after all. He must really love Buffy. Creep.
“So why don’t you repeat the plan to me so I know you understand. I wouldn’t want you to make a mistake and get yourself killed.” Riley’s voice was ice.
No, of course not, Angel thought.
Angel repeated the plan to Riley, step by step.
“Are you sure this will work?” Angel asked again.
“We’ll make it work.” Riley was tense. He wasn’t sure himself if it would really work. It could all backfire and get them both killed. But it was the best plan he had come up with last night. Maybe not the best one from his perspective. That would be to kill him. But for everyone involved, it was the most feasible.
Angel watched Riley closely. He could tell that Riley was struggling to keep control.
“Thanks,” he said calmly.
Riley’s glare intensified. “I’m not doing this for you.”
“I know. That’s why I’m thanking you.”
“Fine. Consider me properly thanked.” Riley paused.
“When?” Angel asked.
“I’ll be back in two hours. We’ll do it then.”
Riley walked out of the corridor and didn’t look back.
***
She hadn’t spoken to Riley since yesterday morning. She had tried calling him, but he hadn’t picked up. She thought about dropping by his place, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t stand to see the look in his eyes. He was hurt. And she had done it.
Buffy really cared about Riley. She did. She had fun with him. And he really was the only other guy in the world that understood her. He didn’t freak when he discovered she was the Slayer. He admired it. She had to admit that they made a pretty good team. But was that all it was?
No, she told herself. It was more than that. But how much more she couldn’t say. She wouldn’t have made love to him if she didn’t have feelings for him. The problem was that she couldn’t quite figure out what those feelings were exactly.
And now it was all clouded. Seeing Angel again confused her even more. They have shared so much together, have fought together, have loved together. It was so hard to let it all go.
It was very difficult when he left. He turned and walked away, leaving her in the shadows. Leaving her to deal with it all alone. At the time, he had made it sound so simple. If he was out of sight, he would be out of mind. She could move on. Forget him. Be happy. Simple.
But it wasn’t easy to forget. He was inside her, flowing through her veins.
And it didn’t help any that he kept popping back into her life. Just when she began to see a point of light at the end of the dark tunnel, there he was again. Angel was telling her to move on, but making sure that she didn’t.
But things changed when she met Riley. Riley was different. He was good and kind. Not to mention handsome. But it was more than that. He was patient and understanding. He didn’t push her to talk about things she didn’t want to talk about.
Until now. He had demanded to know her connection to Angel. But she wasn’t angry. She understood his need to know. He was hurt and betrayed.
Buffy really should have told him about Angel. But how do you fit something like that into conversation?
“Did I ever tell you about my ex-boyfriend, Angel? You’d probably hate him. He’s a vampire.”
Buffy sighed. Why did things have to be so complicated?
***
Riley made his way through the compound. It was time. Now or never. He had to keep walking or his knees would give out.
He had never been so deceitful in his life. He was always the one who followed orders and rules to the letter. That was why he made commander. But this was a unique situation and he would do what he had to do to get it done.
He stopped at the entrance to the corridor. He placed his palm on the scanner. His hand was so sweaty he was worried he would short it out.
“Palm scan a match.” The flat voice rang through the silence. Riley could barely hear it over his pounding heart.
“Agent Finn, Riley,” the voice continued. “Please state your name for verification.”
“Riley Finn,” he said, his voice shaking.
“Vocal scan not a match. Please repeat.”
Riley took a breath. Calm down, he told himself. Don’t blow it.
“Riley Finn,” he said clearly.
“Vocal scan a match. Proceed.” The door slid open.
He walked slowly down the hall, looking cautiously around for any signs of suspicion.
He finally reached his destination. Hostile 23’s cell. Angel’s cell. He turned to face the cell, to get this thing over with. But what he saw made all the color drain from his face.
Nothing. He saw nothing. The cell was empty. Riley panicked. He looked up to make sure he had the right cell. Yes, Hostile 23. He looked around frantically, his heart racing. Scanning the other cells, he searched frantically for Angel. Nothing.
“He’s gone.” A raspy voice from behind.
Riley spun in the direction of the voice. Another vampire, captured two days ago, watched him closely.
“What did you say?” Riley was finding it hard to speak.
“Your friend, the vampire. He’s gone. The coats came and took him away.” The vamp grinned.
Riley stopped breathing. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Suddenly, finding hidden strength, he turned and ran down the corridor. He pushed on the door. It wouldn’t open. He pushed again. Nothing.
He had supported the installation of all the security systems. Heck, he had even helped design a couple of them. But right now, he was not in the mood to deal with them.
Impatiently, he went through the procedure. The door opened. Another scan. Another door. After what seemed like an hour of palm and voice scans, he emerged into the main compound.
Professor Walsh was sitting at a table, reading something. Riley ran over to her.
“Two days!” he screamed. “They have to be here at least two days before they are taken! It hasn’t been two days! Where is he?” Riley was struggling for air.
Professor Walsh stood up. She wasn’t very tall, but she had a commanding presence.
“Agent Finn, “ she stated calmly. “You must calm down. If you do that, I will explain.”
Riley regained some composure and stepped back.
“Sorry.” His voice was a whisper.
“If you are referring to Hostile 23, he escaped. About an hour ago. We tried to alert you, but you were nowhere to be found.” She looked at him closely.
“Escaped?” Riley couldn’t believe his ears.
“Around 13:00, there was a disturbance. The hostiles were making a lot of noise. When we went down to check it out, Hostile 23 was on the floor of his cell, moaning. Blood was oozing from his mouth. The empty pint bag was on the floor next to him. Thinking it was some kind of reaction to the drugs, I had the techs remove him from his cell for testing. That’s when he made his escape. Slipped right through our fingers.”
Riley sat down on the edge of the table. He stared at the floor.
“Where is he?”
Professor Walsh studied him.
“I don’t know. As far away from here as he can get, I would imagine.”
“You aren’t trailing him?” Riley looked surprised.
“What would be the point? He’s certainly not going to be easy to track during the day. He’s traveling underground, laying low. By the time nightfall comes, he’ll be long gone.” Professor Walsh seemed satisfied.
But Riley was curious. It was way unlike Professor Walsh to be so complacent.
“But what about his reaction to the blood? Maybe he really is sick.” Riley was testing her.
Professor Walsh stepped closer, leaned in.
“Riley. We both know he was faking. And we both know why.”
Riley was speechless. She knew. Had known all along.
“But…” he stammered. He was at a loss for words.
Professor Walsh leaned in closer. She whispered, “You and I are the only ones who know about this. I would like it to stay that way.”
Riley looked at her through the corner of his eye and nodded silently.
***
Buffy was sitting on her bed, mindlessly watching television, when she heard a knock on the door. She looked up from the television and stared blankly at the door. She wasn’t really in the mood for visitors. She hesitated.
Another knock.
“Buffy, it’s me. Riley.” Somehow he felt he had to specify. With everything that had happened lately, he wasn’t sure the “it’s me” would automatically mean him for Buffy.
Buffy quickly shut off the television and went to the door.
“Come in. Please.” She was barefoot and she felt smaller next to Riley than she usually did.
Riley stepped into the room, but kept his distance.
“I just thought that you would want to know that Angel is gone.” His voice was low, even.
Buffy’s heart skipped a beat.
“What do you mean ‘gone’?”
Riley shoved his hands in his pockets for need of something to do.
“I mean gone. As in he’s no longer rooming at Hotel Initiative under the name Hostile 23. He escaped this afternoon.” He was using sarcasm to try to mask his real feelings. With every word, his voice was trying to betray him.
“You let him go?” The relief in her voice was obvious. “When?”
“I didn’t say I let him go. I said he escaped. There’s a difference. Professor Walsh told me it happened around 1:00.”
Riley watched her. He could tell by the smile on her face that she was glad Angel was free.
“Where is he?” she asked.
“Your guess is as good as mine. Actually, yours is probably better since you know him so well.” Buffy could hear the bitterness in his voice.
“Yeah.”
That was all she could say?
Riley turned to leave.
“Riley.”
He turned.
“Thank you for telling me.” She smiled warmly.
Riley didn’t smile. “Sure.” Their eyes locked for a long moment. Finally he turned and walked out.
Buffy stayed standing in her place for a few moments, thinking.
So Angel was free. Riley said he had escaped. She wondered if Riley would have helped him if he hadn’t escaped.
***
The room was dark. It was nighttime, he wasn’t sure what time. It didn’t really matter. Time was standing still, the hours flowing together into one long, infinite stream.
When he left Buffy’s room earlier, he just went for a walk. He kept trying to forget the way she smiled when she heard that Angel was free, the relief in her voice. The hot California sun and his aching head didn’t seem to push the memory away.
Here he was now, lying on his bed in the darkness, heartbroken. He knew that his time with Buffy was too good to be true. He had been fooling himself. If Buffy had loved Angel as much as she claimed, then no wonder she couldn’t forget him.
But where did that leave him? He didn’t want to let her go. He needed her in his life. But he knew he couldn’t compete. How could he when the sound of Angel’s name seemed to evoke such an intense reaction in Buffy?
He saw the way they looked at each other yesterday. There was still something there, binding the two of them together. Buffy herself had said as much. But she had also said that she and Angel were over. God, how he wanted to believe that. But he couldn’t. Not when everything he saw pointed to the contrary.
No, he convinced himself. It’s not she and Angel who are finished. It’s she and I.
***
Riley had fallen asleep. He wasn’t resting, just passing more of the endless time.
There was a knock on his door. He opened his eyes. Silence. Had he imagined it?
Another knock.
“Riley. Please answer the door. It’s Buffy.”
He thought for a moment about not letting her in. But only for a moment. He stood up and stumbled through the darkness to the door.
The bright lights from the hallway hurt his eyes and he squinted.
“What are you doing here?” he asked her.
Buffy looked at him. He looked so tired. So sad.
“Can I come in?” she asked gently.
Riley stood aside and she walked past him into the room. He flipped on the light and closed the door. He turned where he stood and faced her.
“Riley,” she began slowly, “I need to tell you something.”
She had had it all planned out. What she would say, how she would say it. But it wasn’t working out the way she thought it would. She hadn’t counted on the guilt.
Riley didn’t respond. He just looked at her with his tired eyes.
“I’m going to LA. To see Angel.”
She wasn’t sure if Riley had heard her. He didn’t react.
Riley was frozen in place. A lump formed in his throat and his chest tightened. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. He could barely breathe.
He should have expected it. He pretty much knew it was coming. But it still didn’t soften the impact when she actually said the words.
“Riley?” she asked carefully, taking a step towards him.
“Why are you telling me this? You don’t need my permission. If you want to go, then go.” He was angry.
Buffy nodded slightly. She could hear the pain in his voice. He couldn’t even look at her.
She wanted to say something, anything that would lessen the load for him. But there wasn’t anything she could do for him. She remained silent.
Riley stepped away from the door, making a clear path for Buffy. She waited a few more seconds and then walked to the door. She grabbed the knob. She was about to turn it when Riley spoke.
“Buffy. For what it’s worth, I love you.” His voice was softer now, almost a whisper. The anger was gone.
She turned to look up at him. Tears came to her eyes. He had never said that to her before. She was speechless.
“I don’t want to lose you. But I’m afraid you were never really mine to lose.” Tears filled his eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. He made no attempt to wipe them away.
“If when you get there and you see him…” he swallowed hard, “…and you decide that you want to be with him…I won’t try to stop you or get in the way.”
He closed his eyes, causing the tears to flow. He was searching for the right words.
“I…I just want you to be happy, Buffy. And if that means being with Angel, then so be it.”
Buffy couldn’t respond. She just looked at him through her own tears.
“So I’ll say goodbye. Whether it’s for now or forever, I’ll have to wait and see.”
Finally, he wiped his eyes. Buffy closed hers. How could she possibly respond to that?
“Goodbye,” she whispered.
Riley watched silently as she stood at the door. Was she waiting for him to say something else? He had said all he was going to say.
Finally, she opened the door and walked out, closing it gently behind her.
Riley reached for the knob, but didn’t turn it. Instead, he pressed his forehead against the door and let out his breath. She was gone.
After a few moments, he turned off the lights and stumbled back through the darkness to his bed. Sleep. That’s what he needed. Maybe sleep could calm the pounding in his head and help him forget, at least for a little while, that his life was over.
***
Buffy leaned her head against the glass and stared blankly at the white line on the road. Funny, she thought. Those lines always look so straight when you walk next to them. But moving fast, driving next to them, you can see how crooked they really are.
She shrugged. What an odd thing to think about. But then she realized that life was the same way. The faster you moved through life, the harder it was to keep it straight.
She wasn’t sure what she was doing. She knew that she was on a bus headed to LA and that when she got there she would see Angel. But beyond that she hadn’t a clue.
Riley’s words played again and again in her mind. He loved her. At least he said he did. But she remembered the look on his face, his tears. He meant what he said. If she was sure of anything, it was that.
Love. What is that anyway? All the television shows and romance novels make it out to be some kind of wonderful thing, something that can redeem even the coldest heart.
But Buffy wasn’t so sure. In her experience, love meant pain. Unsurpassed joy and unbearable pain. Two sides of the same coin.
She shook her head and looked around. Strangers on a bus. All going to the same place for different reasons. Buffy still wasn’t sure exactly what her reason was, but she hoped that she’d figure it out when she got there.
For now, she would just have to wait.
***
He sat in the darkness. The only light was that of the moon streaming through the window.
He had his eyes closed pensively. He was trying to remember the scene.
She was looking at him, her eyes wide. She said his name. Was that happiness he heard in her voice? Or was it pain? They were one and the same.
She looked so beautiful and she was looking at him. Their eyes met. She was angry. Why are you doing this? her eyes were asking.
She turned away from him and ran to another.
That was the last time he saw her.
“Angel.” It was Cordelia. She was standing in the doorway to his office. “I know everyone needs a hobby, but this sitting in the dark business is really starting to creep me out.” She tilted her head in disapproval.
Angel rubbed his eyes and stood up.
“Cordelia. What is it?”
“What’s what?” she was teasing.
“Cordelia.” His voice was thick with impatience.
“Geesh. Sor-ry. You vamps have no sense of humor.” She grinned. “Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m going home now. If I happen to have one of those brain-splitting, mind-numbing vision things, I will be sure to call you. Okay?"
“That’s fine. Goodnight.”
“Well. Okay then.” She sighed. “I will leave you to your…darkness. Goodnight.” She turned and left, shaking her head.
Angel stood a moment longer, staring at the spot where Cordelia had just stood. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head methodically. He started towards the elevator, but stopped. He didn’t want to go downstairs just yet. Too much Buffy there.
Who was he fooling? he asked himself. No matter where he went, there was too much Buffy. He carried her with him everywhere.
***
“Riley.”
He turned in the direction of the voice.
“Buffy.” He sat up. She was there. She came back.
“I’m sorry, Riley. I never meant to hurt you.” She came towards him, her hand outstretched.
Riley swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for her hand. He squeezed it in his own, feeling her strength.
“Riley. I will never leave you again.” She smiled at him.
He couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t believe that she was there with him.
He held her, burying his face in her hair.
“Promise?”
Riley opened his eyes. Emptiness. It had all been a dream. Buffy hadn’t come back.
His eyelids were heavy, but he forced them to stay open. Bad things happened when he closed his eyes.
Not that they got any better when his eyes were open. Everything he saw reminded him of her. Especially this room.
“Weren’t expecting to see me?”
“I never know what to expect.”
“You’re strong. Like, Spiderman strong.”
“Yeah. I don’t stick to stuff, but yeah.”
“I don’t even think I could take you.”
“That depends on your meaning.”
“You’re a little peculiar.”
“I can live with that.”
He threw the covers off and stood up. He couldn’t stay in this room any longer. The walls were closing in.
He was angry with himself. He had never let anyone or anything get to him so much before. And suddenly, Buffy comes into his life and takes it over. It wasn’t fair.
Quickly, he got dressed and went to the door. The picture of Buffy leaving through it a few hours ago flashed through his mind briefly. He shook it off and left.
***
“Angel.”
There was only one person who could make him shiver just by saying his name.
“Buffy.”
They stood quietly for a long moment. Even through the darkness, their eyes met.
“Riley told me you escaped.”
No reply.
“I had asked him to let you go. I guess you beat him to it. I don’t know if he would have helped you or not.”
Angel knew he would regret telling her this, but he said, “He did help me.”
“He did?” She took a step closer.
Angel continued. “He wasn’t actually there when it happened, but it was his plan that I used.”
Buffy could barely speak. “He didn’t tell me,” she whispered.
She turned away from Angel and stared into the darkness. Riley had helped Angel. And he had done it for her.
She turned towards Angel again. The moonlight shone on her face, in her eyes.
Angel watched her closely. Something was different. In a split second, she had changed.
“Angel…” She walked around the desk and stood facing him.
Angel felt his chest tighten. He knew what she was going to say.
Buffy continued. Her voice was almost a whisper.
“I wasn’t sure what I was going to say when I got here. I kept hoping that I would know when I saw you.” She took a breath. “Well, I know.”
She let her breath out slowly and evenly.
“Finding the right words with you has never been easy.” She smiled weakly.
She turned and walked to the window. Looking down into the street below, she continued.
“I don’t belong here.” She turned her face towards Angel. He was still standing where he was when she came in. “I didn’t realize it until I walked in. For so long, I believed that wherever you were was where I belonged. But things have changed. I have changed.”
She stared again into the street. She wondered briefly about what was lurking in the shadows. When she turned from the window, Angel was standing behind her.
“I’m sorry I went to Sunnydale without telling you. It was a last-minute decision.” His dark eyes studied her face and then looked out at the night.
Buffy followed his gaze. She caught her reflection in the glass and realized that hers was the only one there. She had never thought about it before, had just taken it for granted. She had always just thought of Angel as Angel, not as a vampire.
“It’s okay, Angel. Looking back, I’m glad you came. Seeing you again made me realize that I want different things now.”
Angel sighed and turned away.
“You want Riley.”
Buffy blinked and turned to face her ex-lover.
She nodded. “Yeah…I do.” A tear fell down her cheek.
“You love him, don’t you?” He really didn’t want to know, but feared he already knew the answer.
“Yes, I do. I love him. I know that now.”
Angel felt a pain in his stomach. To hear her actually say the words felt like a stake through the heart. Actually, he thought. I think I would prefer the stake. He could never, would never love anyone else. How could she?
“Do you know what he said to me when I told him I was coming to see you? He told me that he loved me. He said that he just wanted me to be happy, even if that meant being with you.” The tears began to flow as she remembered the moment.
“He was willing to let me go, Angel. Even you can’t do that.” She wished she could take back those last few words. But it was the truth.
Angel’s shoulders sank. “I’ve tried to let you go, Buffy. I left Sunnydale so you could get on with your life, didn’t I?”
Buffy was quick to respond. “But you keep coming back.”
Angel had no reply. She was right.
“Riley…he helped you. He didn’t want to, but he did it because I asked him to. He risked a lot, Angel. His job. Losing me.”
Angel stepped towards her. He wanted to hold her so badly. He ached to be near her.
“I love you, Buffy. I always will. And I can’t deny that it hurts to hear you tell me this.”
Buffy wiped her eyes. “I don’t mean to hurt you. But I don’t think I can avoid it. Either way, I would’ve hurt someone.”
“So better me than Riley, is that it?” Angel asked bitterly.
“No, that’s not it. Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted me to be happy.” She was trying hard to control the anger bubbling inside her.
“I do.”
“Just not with anyone else.” She was accusing him.
Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Letting it out slowly, she turned her eyes to his.
“Angel. It used to hurt so much just to think about you. And to see you was unbearable. I couldn’t let go of what might have been. I had loved you for so long that I didn’t know how to do anything else. But when I saw you this last time, it didn’t hurt. I could finally look at you and not feel like I had to run away.”
She could see the sadness in his eyes, her words cutting him like daggers. But she had to continue, had to end it.
“I will always love you, Angel. A part of me will always belong to you. But the rest of me belongs to Riley. I have let go of the past and left it where it belongs. I wish you would do the same.” She was done.
“I don’t think I can do that,” he muttered.
“Please try,” she whispered. “You’re only hurting yourself by holding on. Even now, after everything I’ve said, I can still feel you pulling me.” She watched him as he took a step towards her. She put her hand up.
“No,” she said. “You need to let me go.”
Angel shook his head.
A long, silent moment passed between them. Angel turned and walked to the door, leaning against the frame.
“I won’t come to Sunnydale again.” His voice was calm and steady.
Buffy walked to the door and stood in the space not occupied by Angel.
“If you do, you’re going to see me with Riley. Don’t torment yourself.”
He looked away.
“Angel.”
When he turned his head to face her, he felt her warm lips cover his. He closed his eyes. He would savor it even though he knew it was their last kiss. It was soft and gentle and over way too quickly.
She stared into his eyes. “Goodbye, Angel.” She smiled at him.
She turned and walked into the front room. Angel watched as she made her way past Cordelia’s desk and out the front door. She didn’t look back.
“Goodbye,” he whispered.
***
“Are you sure you don’t have any more buses going back to Sunnydale tonight?” This was the third time she had asked and the lady at the window was becoming rather annoyed.
“Yes. I am sure. I am positive. You can come back here and look for yourself if you’d like.” The lady gave Buffy a look.
“No. That’s okay.”
Buffy turned from the window and shuffled back to her seat. She slouched against the back of the chair and let out a loud breath.
What was she going to do now? She was hoping to get back to Sunnydale before the sun came up. She needed to see Riley.
But the next bus didn’t leave until 6:00am and it took 3½ hours to get there because of all the stops in between.
Sleep tugged at her. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept. It definitely hadn’t been in the last 24 hours. Probably not even the last 36.
She finally gave in to the urge and closed her eyes. But she was startled by a baby crying. She looked up. The final bus had arrived for the night and the passengers were hurrying inside the terminal.
The mother looked exhausted and shushed her baby quietly. She dropped her purse and bent down to pick it up. When she did, the baby slipped from her arms. The woman screamed.
Buffy stood with the child in her arms. She rocked it gently trying to calm it down.
“Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you!” The woman was crying.
“How did you get over here so fast?” the woman asked, taking the baby from Buffy’s arms.
“Quick reflexes,” Buffy replied simply.
The woman nodded. “Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome.”
Buffy went back to her seat. A minute later, the woman came and sat down beside her.
“Wow, this place is busy. This was the only available seat in here,” she said.
Buffy smiled
. “Where’s home for you?” the woman asked.
“Sunnydale,” Buffy replied.
The woman perked up. “Really? Me too! I’m on my way there, actually. In a little while.”
Buffy looked at her. “It’s going to be longer than a little while, I’m afraid. The next bus isn’t until six.”
“Oh. I’m not taking the bus. Takes too long. My husband is picking me up. He should be here any minute now. And speak of the devil…here he is!” The woman smiled and motioned to the man who just walked in.
Buffy had an idea.
***
Riley hadn’t set foot in his room in hours. He had watched the sun rise and had thought to himself that it really wasn’t the end of the world after all. It was just the end of his. It was another day. He would just have to live through it.
He had been running. He stopped and leaned against the tree, catching his breath. In the distance he could see Stevenson Hall. He thought for a moment about going and seeing if she was there.
Why bother? he thought. I know where she is. And it’s not at Stevenson.
He took a deep breath to try to relieve the sharp pain in his side. He hadn’t run that much in years.
He almost welcomed the pain. It was something real and tangible that he could focus his attention on.
But gradually the pain subsided and he was back to square one. He looked into the distance, at the horizon.
Well, he said to himself, it’s time to quit feeling sorry for yourself. Do something constructive.
And even though his heart didn’t quite agree, his mind decided that it was time to go home and get ready for work.
Maybe a very deadly demon would come to town and help take his mind off things.
One could only hope.
***
Riley turned the corner towards his room. He was fumbling with his keys, trying to grasp the right one. He didn’t notice the person leaning against the wall by his door. He almost stepped on her.
The keys dropped from his hand the moment he saw her face and he took a step back.
“Buffy? I must be dreaming again…” he said, his voice shaky. He closed his eyes and shook his head.
“No, Riley. It’s really me. I’ve been waiting for you for a couple hours. Since before the sun came up. Where were you?” She reached out and touched his arm.
Riley stared blankly at her. “Out…clearing my head. W-What are you doing here?”
Buffy looked at him with tired eyes. Her voice was a whisper. “Asking you to forgive me and telling you that for what it’s worth, I love you.”
Riley blinked at the familiar words. Did she actually say them or was he just imagining it all? He reached out and grasped her shoulders tightly in his hands. She was real. She was there.
“What did you say?” He needed to make sure that he had heard her right.
She smiled and tears started to flow. “I said I love you, Riley.”
All the air left his lungs and his knees felt weak. He thought he would collapse. He pulled Buffy to him and held on to her for support. He buried his face in her hair, feeling the softness against his cheek. He squeezed his eyes shut.
“Thank you God,” he whispered against her ear. She smiled against his chest. “So does this mean you forgive me?”
He pushed away and looked into her eyes. The eyes he had gotten lost in so many times before. His reply came in the form of a kiss. He touched her lips softly with his. A perfect fit.
He kissed her eyes, her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, her chin. Buffy laughed.
“Oh I missed you…” he said as he let out his breath.
“I wasn’t even gone for 12 hours,” she said playfully.
“Seemed like forever.” He grinned.
***
Riley was smiling. Buffy was curled up next to him, her head resting on his chest. He pulled his arms tighter around her. She stirred and snuggled closer against him.
She had fallen asleep the moment they sat on the bed. She was exhausted. Fatigue tugged at Riley’s eyelids, but he resisted the urge to close them. It had felt like an eternity since he had last seen Buffy and he wasn’t about to take his eyes off her now.
He gazed down at her, her beautiful face turned slightly towards him. Riley reached over and gently brushed a stray strand of hair off her cheek.
The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight smile and she sighed. Riley grinned even wider. It made his heart happy that she felt content in his arms.
He still couldn’t quite believe that she was there. A tiny part still expected him to wake up and discover that this was all a dream. But the longer she remained in his arms, the smaller that part became.
He was startled out of his reverie by the blaring tone of his beeper. He reached quickly and shut it off so that it didn’t wake Buffy. He looked down at her. No worry. She was out soundly.
He cursed the sound. He had to go and leave Buffy when he had just gotten her back. Sighing, he carefully pulled his arm from around her. She rolled over, but did not wake up.
He quickly got dressed for work, watching the sleeping Buffy the whole time. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. Reluctantly, he pulled on his last boot and laced it tightly.
But he didn’t want to leave without telling her where he went. He scratched a few words on a piece of paper and placed it on the pillow next to her head.
He leaned down to kiss her gently on the cheek, pausing a moment to feel the softness of her skin against his lips.
“Sweet dreams, my love,” he whispered.
He lingered a moment longer before pulling himself away and walking to the mirror. The green laser scanned his retinas and the mirror slid open. He stepped inside the elevator and took one last look over his shoulder at Buffy sleeping on his bed. The door closed and the elevator began its descent.
I hope this doesn’t take too long, he thought impatiently. I have better places to be.
***
Buffy rolled over and opened her eyes groggily. It took a moment, but when she realized she was alone, her eyes widened. She looked around the room, panic slowly gripping her.
“Riley?” she asked out loud. She was disoriented and still so exhausted.
But the fear subsided as her eye caught sight of the note on the pillow next to her. She sighed and smiled. She picked up the folded piece of paper and opened it quickly.
As her eyes scanned the words, a smile lit up her face. Riley’s tiny, angled penmanship filled the small page.
Buffy,
I do not want to leave you, but duty calls. Time doesn’t stop no matter how much we may want it to.
You looked so peaceful, I didn’t have the heart to wake you. So I am leaving you these few words as a promise of my prompt return.
Please don’t go anywhere before I come back. I don’t think my heart could stand coming home to an empty room again.
Thank you for coming back to me.
I love you.
Riley
Buffy read the note again, memorizing the words. “Thank you for coming back to me.” She smiled again.
No, she thought. Thank you for letting me back in.
Folding the note carefully, she slipped it in her purse. Her very first love note from Riley. It was definitely a keeper.
She had fallen asleep the moment her head hit the pillow and she was still in her clothes. Slipping her shoes off, she threw them casually on the floor. She stood, squishing her toes in the soft carpet.
Stretching, she slipped off her pants. Then her blouse. She walked over to Riley’s dresser and pulled open one of the drawers, searching.
She laughed out loud at what she saw. Every piece of clothing was folded neatly and grouped according to color.
“Yup,” she muttered to herself. “That’s my Riley. Mr. Perfection.” She laughed again as she reached into the drawer for a shirt.
“And what is so…wow,” Riley said as he stepped from the elevator.
He stared at her, scanning her scantily clad body. A smile spread across his face and his eyes twinkled.
Buffy didn’t understand why he was grinning like that. Then it hit her. She blushed.
“I was just looking for something to wear…” she said softly.
Riley stepped closer. “I think you look just fine.” His grin widened.
Buffy smiled herself. “Oh, you do, do you?” She stepped towards him and buried herself in his outstretched arms, wrapping her own around him tightly.
“Oh yeah,” he breathed. “Definitely.”
The kiss began slowly, but gradually became more passionate. Hands were roaming everywhere.
Finally, they pulled apart, pressing their foreheads together. Each was regaining their breath.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Riley ran his fingers through her hair.
“Me too. How was work?” she touched his face gently.
Riley gave her a look. “Very long. Very boring. And not worth talking about.” He scooped her up and carried her to the bed, placing her gently on the covers. He lay down next to her, tracing the outline of her face with his finger.
“Well, then we won’t talk about it.” She smiled and looked into his eyes. She laced her fingers through his hair.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said.
She smiled again. “Kiss me or lose me forever,” she teased.
“Gladly.” He leaned over her, meeting her lips.
One piece at a time, Riley’s commando gear found its way to the floor.
***
They cuddled with each other, content. It was dusk and the orange light bathed the room. Their skin glowed.
Riley kissed the top of her head and ran his hand rhythmically over her arm. If the first time had been great, it was nothing compared to what had just occurred. He smiled.
“Hey,” Buffy said, kissing his chest. “Why so quiet? I didn’t wear you out, did I?” She looked up and winked at him.
Riley laughed. “I was just thinking.”
“About me, I hope,” she said playfully. She rested her head on his chest and felt his heart beating against her ear.
What a great sound, she thought.
“About you, about me, about us.” He took a breath. “About Angel.”
Buffy sat up. “Angel?” She looked confused.
Riley sat up as well, facing her.
“I was just thinking that I don’t know him at all. Anything about him. I wasn’t exactly anxious to get to know him when he was here.”
Buffy smiled slightly.
“And you’re anxious to know now?”
Riley took her hand, laced his fingers through hers.
“Well, yeah. I mean, he can’t be all bad if you loved him. And you are who you are right now because of him.” Riley studied her.
“And you,” she said softly. Her eyes glittered in the fading light.
“Thank you. But he was in your life a lot longer than I have been. He was a big influence and helped shape you into who you are today. I guess I should thank him for that.” Riley brushed some hair from her eyes.
“What do you want to know?” she asked carefully.
“Whatever you’re willing to tell me, Buffy. I just want to understand.”
Buffy took a deep breath. Where to start?
She started with the basics-how they had met, etc. But what she had intended as a brief synopsis turned into an in-depth analysis. She told Riley everything, from she and Angel’s first kiss, to Angel’s descent into Hell at her hands, to his unexpected return. She told him about Angelus and the curse. Finally she ended with her recent trip to LA-the one where she told Angel goodbye.
It was completely dark now and they once again lay in each other’s arms.
“That’s the whole story. From beginning to end,” she sighed.
Riley squeezed her and rested his chin on the top of her head.
“Thank you for telling me.”
Buffy stirred. “I’m glad I did. Saying it out loud really helped me close the book on that chapter in my life. Helped me put it in perspective.”
There was silence for a long moment.
“So, you don’t have any more demon ex-boyfriends to tell me about, do you?” He was teasing.
Buffy pinched him. “That’s not funny, Agent Finn.” She tilted her face towards his.
“And what about you? Anything you would like to tell me about? I’m sure there’s one or two skeletons hiding in your closet, pal.” She grinned.
“Nope,” he said and shook his head. “The only skeleton in here is hiding behind that mirror.” He motioned to the secret entrance to the Initiative.
“Uh-huh. I believe you.” She laughed.
“That’s the God’s honest truth. Scout’s honor,” he said, making the familiar symbol. “Would I lie to you?”
Buffy gazed at him in the moonlight. The face, the eyes. They were honest features.
No, she thought to herself. You would never lie to me.
She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to carry her away.
The End
