Pushing past the blonde vampire, Buffy briskly asked, "Where's Giles?" She couldn't believe Spike was watching that lame game show. Personally, she couldn't stand Regis, but then, there was no accounting for taste, especially in a vampire.
"He's in the shower, and could you keep it down?" Spike replied, more than a little rudely.
Just then, Giles emerged from the bathroom, running a towel through his still damp hair. "Oh, Buffy, you're here, very well then. As I explained on the phone, I'm going on a vacation of sorts for a few days, and I need you to stay here to keep an eye on Spike. I would have asked Xander to take him, but it seems his mother is having the basement fumigated, and he's taken up residence over at Anya's for the time being."
"No big." Buffy told him. "I don't mind, and besides, Riley here is going to keep me company." Wrapping herself in her boyfriend's embrace, she began to kiss him.
"Oh bloody hell!" Spike exclaimed. "Are the two of you going to be kissing and shagging the whole time you're here? I'd rather take my chances out there with the demons and the commandos, if that's the case."
"Can I please just stake him?" Buffy asked Giles with an edge of irritation in her voice.
"Now, children!" Giles told them all with a slightly raised voice. "I think I deserve a vacation, and I won't leave you here to squabble the whole time I'm gone. Frankly Spike, I don't trust you to stay here alone in my absence, and Buffy was the only one I could get to watch you."
Buffy resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the vampire, and returned her attentions to Riley. **Ignorance is the best policy when it comes to Spike. I'll just ignore him as much as possible. Shouldn't be too hard to do with Riley here to keep me occupied.**
"I'll make sure they both behave themselves, sir." Riley told Giles a no nonsense, take charge voice.
"Oh yes, very well then, I really appreciate the two of you doing this for me." Giles made his way to the front door as he said this, picking up the small suitcase he'd left beside it. "I'll call when I get there to check in on things."
"Go, experience this thing called fun." Buffy told him, practically shooing him out the door. Turning to Riley, they discussed plans for the evening, completely disregarding Spike who'd gone back to his television program.
"I really need to swing by the Initiative, and check in." Riley told her. "I shouldn't be gone too long, though."
"Do you really have to go?" Buffy asked, pouting prettily. "This is supposed to be 'our' time."
"Just this one final check-in, and then I'll be completely yours for the next few days." Riley promised her. "Now, the sooner I get going, the sooner I can be back here."
Giving him a kiss goodbye and shutting the door behind him, Buffy turned to face Spike with her hands on her hips. "Is that all you do is watch t.v.?" She asked him with slight contempt in her voice.
"Well, Betty, since I got this buggering chip in my head, my entertainment options are kind of limited, you know?" Spike told her without even glancing up from the television. "I used to get so much fun out of a good kill."
"My name is Buffy, and you're disgusting." She called over her shoulder as she made her way into the kitchen. Opening the cabinets, she considered options for dinner. She wanted to make something for Riley, but her cooking skills were of the limited. Finding a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese in the pantry and inwardly chuckling at the thought of proper, British Giles consuming such an American dish, she decided she couldn't mess up a boxed dinner too badly. Setting the box on the counter, she decided she had time for a shower, first. Riley would probably be gone for a couple of hours.
Scarcely noticing that Buffy had disappeared; Spike waited until a commercial, and then made his way into the kitchen to heat up some blood. Realizing his favorite mug was still in the bathroom where he'd left it; he went after it, with no consideration for the fact that the door was closed. Upon entering the room, he came to the realization that the Slayer must be showering. Not able to resist any chance to taunt her, he pulled back the curtain, peeking in on her.
"Spike!" She wailed. "Get out of here! Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called privacy?" Picking up her loofah, she tossed it at him. "Go on, get out!"
Spike picked up his mug, chuckling as he made his way to the door. "By the way, nice gams, Slayer."
Dressed in clean clothes, Buffy emerged from the shower with her hair still damp. To her surprise, she found Spike downing a bottle of whiskey. Taking the liquor away from him, she asked, "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"Cor, Slayer! What does it look like I'm doing? I was well on my way to getting ripped, so hand me back the bottle, please." Spike's words were slightly slurred from the effects of the alcohol he'd already consumed.
"You are so not getting drunk while I'm in charge." Buffy informed him, taking the half-empty bottle to the kitchen where she proceeded to re-cap it. "Why do you need to get drunk, anyway?" Approaching the couch where he still sat, she perched on the opposite end.
"Well, it's like this. I can't feed, can't kill or harm anyone, don't have a woman to screw the brains out of, and there isn't a blasted thing on the telly to watch tonight, so getting snookered seemed like a good option." Spike curled up on the couch in a fetal position.
"You're truly pathetic, you know that?" Buffy began to lambast him.
"Not now. This is my 'quiet desperation' time." Spike changed his position on the couch till his back was facing her.
Deciding it best to just leave him alone to sulk, Buffy went back into the kitchen, and put a pot of water on to boil for the macaroni Riley should be returning, soon, and she wanted to have dinner ready for him, such as it was.
Riley walked through the front door just as Buffy finished setting the table, and lighting some candles. Mac and cheese wasn't exactly a romantic dinner, but it was the first time she'd ever cooked for him. Riley had his arms behind his back as if he were attempting to hide something from her.
Going to him, she stood on tiptoe to place a light kiss on his lips, and tried in vain to see what was behind him. Ever the romantic, he was always bringing her little gifts, which never failed to delight her.
"Riley!" She screeched whenever she couldn't see what he had for her.
"What?" He teased her with a devilish glint in his blue eyes.
Socking him playfully in the stomach, she turned away from him with the intention of flouncing off into the kitchen. She felt his strong arm on her own, pulling her back to him. Bringing his arm around from behind him, he produced a bouquet of lilacs and a little stuffed penguin. "I stopped at the flower shop to get you these on my way back."
Grabbing him around the neck, she pulled his face down on a level with her own, and kissed him deeply. "You are the sweetest man."
"Well, it's easy to be sweet to you. Something smells good. Did you cook?" He inquired, a bit surprised, for he knew cooking wasn't her forte.
"Uh-huh." She answered, going into the kitchen to find a vase for her flowers. Finding one under the sink, she filled it with water, placing the flowers inside, and set the arrangement in the center of the dinner table.
"Wow! And she cooks, too." Riley commented, in a playful tone.
**Cripes! Could these to be anymore sickeningly sweet? I think I'm going to heave!** Spike covered his head with a pillow to block out the cutesy exchange taking place between the two lovers. **How am I supposed to stand three days of this?**
After dinner, Riley helped Buffy clean the kitchen, and they decided to retire upstairs for the night. Predictably, not long after they went up, Spike heard muffled noises that removed any doubt from his mind as to what they were doing. **How much is one vampire supposed to take?** Reaching for the remote, he flipped on the t.v., and settled on the music channel, VH1, where they were having a Billy Idol vid-fest. Turning the volume up as loud as he dared, he managed to block out the sounds of passion coming from upstairs.
Buffy was awakened sometime in the middle of the night by her growling stomach. **Macaroni sure doesn't fill a person up very much.** Careful not to disturb a sleeping Riley, she eased her body out of the bed, and put on her blue satin robe, tying it in the front. Looking down at her lover, for a moment, she sighed contentedly at how very lucky she was to be with him. **He's so cute when he's asleep, almost like a little boy.** Making her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs, Buffy was surprised to find a lamp on in the living room. Spike was propped up with pillows behind his head on the couch, and there was a book in his hands, of all things. Sneaking up behind him, she managed to take the paperback novel away from him before he knew she was there.
"Hey! I was reading that. Give it back." Spike tried, unsuccessfully to take his reading material away from the Slayer before she had a chance to see what it was.
Looking at the cover, Buffy burst into hysterical laughter upon reading the title, and discovering exactly what it was that the vampire was reading.
"What's so funny?" Spike asked, more than a little perturbed.
"You are! I never in a million years thought I'd catch you reading a book called, 'The Passions of Emmy.' " Grasping her ribs that were beginning to hurt from laughing so hard, she handed his book back to him.
"Yeah, so what? You got a problem with romance novels?" Spike asked her, still not seeing what she found so very funny.
"No, but I just never pictured you reading, much less reading romantic dribble."
"Well, some of the people who write these books are very talented authors." Spike said, a bit defensively. "At least I'm not rotting my brain with the telly."
"Fair enough." Buffy told him as she made her way into the kitchen for a snack, the thought of Spike reading smut still causing her to giggle. After eating some peanut butter crackers with a glass of milk, Buffy rinsed her dishes, and started towards the stairs. Turning back to face Spike with one hand on the railing, she couldn't resist throwing one last barb his way.
"Goodnight. I'll leave you alone with Emmy, now." Her laughter trailed behind her as she ascended the stairs.
**Well, what else did you expect with you and lover boy getting all hot and horny right over my head?** Getting up off the sofa, Spike removed the cushions, and pulled out the sleeper bed. Snuggling under the soft, flannel sheets to finish his book, he put the Slayer and her giggling out of his mind, for now
Awakening the next morning to sounds issuing from the kitchen, Spike raised his head up off the pillow. Surprised to find soldier boy in there cooking eggs, he asked, "Where's Buffy?"
"Oh, she's getting dressed, upstairs. I think she has plans to drag me out shopping, today." Riley told him as he slid the scrambled eggs onto two plates, which already contained crisp slices of bacon. Bringing the plates to the table, he called up the stairs, "Come on, Buffy, breakfast is ready."
Buffy could tell Spike was pouting the moment she entered the living room. "What's your problem, today?" She inquired; sitting down to the breakfast that Riley had so sweetly made for her.
"You two are going on a shopping expedition, and leaving me here." He grumbled. "I never get to leave here, and have any fun."
"Well, Spike, there are two problems with that proposed scene. One, I can't actually picture taking you shopping with me, and two, there is a slight case of daylight outside." She taunted him while digging into her eggs.
"Well, will you at least bring me a treat?" Moped the blonde vampire. "I've always had a yen for Elvis memorabilia."
"You want us to spend money on you?" Buffy asked, a bit indignantly.
Riley stepped in to smooth the situation over before the two came to blows. "We'll see what we can find for you, Spike."
"Well, at least your boyfriend has some manners." Spike barbed.
Riley and Buffy spent a fun day hitting the flea markets. Picking up some Chinese food and videos on the way home, they were ready for a quiet evening. While trying to insert the key in the front door in the dark, they could hear loud music coming from the apartment. Upon opening the door, both stood frozen in utter disbelief at the scene before them. Spike dressed in his underwear and one of Buffy's black bras with black lipstick painted across his lips, was standing on the couch, lip-synching a Billy Idol song, using one of the lavender flowers that Riley had given Buffy last night as a pretend microphone.
"Oh my god." Was all Buffy could manage to utter as she tried not to drop the bag containing the take-out food. "What in the world are you doing, Spike?"
Hurriedly jumping down from his perch on the couch, embarrassment at having been caught evident in his face, Spike attempted to make light of the whole situation. "Don't you blokes know how to have any fun? What are you doing back so early, anyway?"
Riley shut the door behind them before any of the neighbors could get a glimpse of the oddly attired vampire. Not wanting to anger Buffy, he fought to hold back his laughter. One had to admit that the scene they'd just happened upon was fairly hilarious. Somehow, he didn't think that Buffy shared his opinion, though.
"Go take my bra off!" Buffy was shrieking. "And can I just be the one to say, 'eww'?"
Stomping off to the bathroom, Spike slammed the door behind him, and gathered his own clothing from the pile he'd left on the floor. Washing off the black lipstick, he hesitated about returning to the living room. **Seems a vampire can't have any fun hobbies around here without the Slayer either making fun of your choice in reading material, or getting her knickers in a knot over you borrowing a piece of her lingerie for an impromptu dance session.**
Buffy and Riley were sitting at the table with cartons of Chinese food spread out around them. Looking up, they saw that Spike had put his own clothing back on. "Are you hungry?" Riley offered without really thinking.
"For that stuff? No thanks, mate. I'll just have a warm mug of blood." Going into the kitchen, Spike fetched a bag of pig's blood from the supply Giles kept for him in the fridge. "Did you bring me a treat like you promised?" He asked, avoiding Buffy's glare.
"What makes you think you deserve a present?" Buffy replied around a mouth full of lo mein noodles.
"I wasn't talking to you, Miss Smarty Pants." Spike leered, while removing his mug from the microwave. "Your boy toy is the one who promised to bring me a present."
"We did find something for you, actually." Riley told him, getting up from the table. "I left it sitting outside the door." Going outside, briefly, he returned with a large, flat package wrapped in brown paper. Handing it to Spike, he told the vampire, "I hope you like it."
Not able to contain his excitement any longer, Spike ripped into the package. Drawing out what was inside, he oohed and aahed over his gift. "It's perfect, mate, how did you know?"
"Buffy picked it out, actually. She said it reminded her of you."
"Riley's being diplomatic." Buffy spoke up. "What I really said was that it was just tacky enough to be something you'd probably like."
Walking over to the fireplace, Spike took down the tasteful painting that Giles had hanging there. Standing on tiptoe, he hung his newfound treasure. Stepping back, he admired it.
"Umm, Spike, I don't think that's exactly Giles' taste in art." Buffy told him. "He'll probably make you take it down when he gets back."
"No, it's a masterpiece! How could anyone not like something so beautiful?" Spike stood staring at the object in question as if it belonged in a fine art museum.
Buffy and Riley looked at each other shaking their heads. There was no way in hell that Giles was going to allow a velvet Elvis painting to remain hanging over his mantle. Let him be the one to break it to Spike when he returned from vacation, though. They picked up the empty food containers, throwing them away, and made their way up the stairs arm in arm.
"Good night, Spike." Buffy called to him. He didn't hear her, though, or even seem to notice that they'd left the room. The vampire was too busy shaking his hips and crooning "Heartbreak Hotel," in one of the worst attempts at an Elvis impersonation ever. **He's going to be impossible to live with the next two days till Giles returns!**
The End
