In June of 1989, practically three years to the day, I got a divorce and sunk into a second depression. Or did I sink into a depression and then get a divorce. I can't remember which came first, the chicken or the egg. I felt as though I was traveling up the down escalator. I was spinning several plates at the same time and it was getting more and more difficult to keep the plates spinning. I was doubting everything. I could see the sky was about to rain but had to ask was it true that, "love will tear it apart, again?". It was an eerie feeling to hear my own words and thoughts on vinyl everywhere I went. I was not crazy though, my wife heard the words also but instead became furious with me. I felt as though I was a prisoner going nowhere fast and needed to get back into camouflage. I felt as though I was traveling down a long dark tunnel. I could see a light at the end. As the light approached, there was a heartbeat. Stunned by light, metal on metal sound piercing my ears: an oncoming train. All I could hear in my own head was "don't fall." I went back for therapy.