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Dentist Conspiracy



I take my job very seriously. I am (among other things) one of the very few modern bard-minstrel(s?) remaining. As such, it is my job to tell stories, small lymrics, and luckily for you, insane conspiracy theories. I'm not getting into my Kennedy vault today, though. There is a much more sinister plot on the horizon...

OUR SMART IS BEING TAKEN. You heard me, loud and clear. Our smart is being theived by those.... Dentists (aagh that abomination of a word!)


As you all know, one of the primary smart-organs of the body is the wisdom tooth (teeth, whatever). But it has become a common practice to remove these teeth at a certain age. Why? Ask the SURGEON GENERAL. That's right, it's him again.


He has made a deal (A PACT WITH SATAN I SAY!) with corporate America. The head of every major fast food company in america is in on it; Ronald McDonald, Jared from Subway, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Colonel Sanders (a.k.a. The Architect! conspiracies collide), etc. They have placed tooth damaging toxin in their food.


Then when the toxins take affect at a certain age, the dentists remove your wisdom teeth and TAKE YOUR SMART. They then give the smart to the surgeon general, as well as the corporate rulers. This is how, eventually, Ronald McDonald will rule America. The King (of burger king) will rule Germany, and war will brew. Different story there.


So there you have it, the *truth* about dentists. Of course, there may be a resistance force of those who do not have their wisdom teeth removed. So I say they're going to have to hit me with horse tranqualizer to get these teeth. Never die easy men, lest someone call you gay after you're dead. Don't let that happen.





TO HOME RAGGAMUFFIN!