The Curse of the Paper,
why Gary will never find true love...

Well, it’s about time that someone addressed this issue. I’ve taken it upon myself to just state this fact to ALL EELs out there in TV land.
I frequent the Early Edition newsgroup. Every time an episode comes on with Gary and some girl get together a handful of posts come out the say ‘They make a cute couple! I’d like to see them together more.’ Well, I’m here to state it won’t happen. It’ll never happen unless the paper starts coming and the simple answer is:
the paper won’t let it’s subscriber ever find true love.

Why does it do this? Why torture the unwilling subscriber so? What does the paper have to gain from this? Perhaps the paper is a jealous thing, but then that would be implying that the paper is female and I don’t think I want to get into that. Unless of course that red-headed chick (or blond, you know, the girl with the rose!) did, or does have something to do with the paper. I digress...

Let us examine the facts shall we?
#1. Lucius Snow. He died alone with no one, and even left a note to his predecessor to ‘Live your life.’ Fare warning I’d say.
#2. Gary’s divorce. Either he just has a real hard time with women, and that’s hard to believe, or somewhere some curse hit him on the head and clung to him.
#3. What are we up to? Fleeting romance number 17 in the show as of 11/20/99? Let’s see, we have the whole Erica thing last season. (shudder) Renee, the weather girl, the princess, the cute chick that had lost her boyfriend way back... and the clinging at the beginning.... Brigatti...

Well, as long as there’s a cat with the newspaper, then Brigatti and Gary will have a slight problem.... heh heh.

So where’s this lead us? Well, either it says in the EE bible that Gary can never have a long lasting relationship, or it will soon. (This is assuming EE has a show bible for writers... they seem to hold continuity high on their priorities list over there.)

Ah yes, the paper is a harsh mistress. Talk about being married to your work!

-KJO