Teenage Angst
Am I oh-so wrong when I say maybe I deserve some thanks for the things I do. Maybe a little respect for my opinions and what I’ve accomplished? A little peace and quiet when I want to do something?
Okay maybe I haven’t been the world’s perfect child. And maybe I deserve a little doubt. But this is now not then. I’m older, wiser, more knowledgeable. Maybe the thing that still riles me is my family, even my own grandmother thought I had a learning disability and planted in my head that maybe I did. Funny thing the word "maybe". It can do a lot to a persons life. My mother didn’t believe me when I told her how well I did on my PSAT’s sophomore year. My counselor had to tell her and then, show her the proof. Yeah, it sounds funny, but that stung a bit. I can tell you right now my family no longer thinks I have a "learning disability".
I want to be a mechanic so I entered the Marine Services shop in my technical school. My dad thought I was going in for the guys… *cough cough* Of course that endeavor proved horrible for a year and a half so I am now, happily, in the Automotive shop. To top it all off…… drum roll please… I want to join the Navy and my father and my grandmother are trying to convince me that if I have to join the military, other branches and occupations are "safer".
Maybe that is all undermining my ability and freewill but this is not. Our Internet has not been working since July so I finally broke and bought a $125 modem Saturday. Now of course it works, no one has paid me a dime back, and everyone else has the nerve to tell me I can’t use it because they want to. Hello? Do you want to pay me $125? I worked my butt off for that money. I’m sorry if I don’t work 40 hours a week, pay bills, and keep a house running. I guess for me, doing well in school for the first time, being in competitions, paying off a car, working at minimum wage, and thinking about my ever-closer future, ISN’T ENOUGH!!! Can you say… "grrr".
My "angst" is really that I have no time to be what I am, a teenager. Sure I have a lot of friends in school. My best friends I am struggling to keep in touch with since they are now strung out over the country after graduating. Any time I do have it’s hard to get together with friends because no one wants to come all the way to Falmouth just to pick me up. A 20-30 min. drive to pick lil’ me up isn’t most peoples idea of fun. A lot of that has to do with scheduling problems though. I don’t go to many parties because I’m sXe and can’t stand being around drugs and alcohol. And forget about having a good relationship, I’m doomed at the start. But that could be the cause of ex-boyfriends butting into my life again. I’m saying that about the ones I don’t want near me, not the ones I hold as dear friends.
I guess I was just wondering the same timeless question… "am I all alone in this?"
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