"At.the.end.of.the.night...
"At the end of the night..."
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
We walked through the parking lot to Isaac's car. Isaac opened the door for Nicole, as Zac and I climbed in the back. The ride was pretty quiet, even Nicole didn't have much to say. She sat, staring out the window; I think she was actually coming to realize the amount of time that was gonna pass between all of us. I knew this was really going to be hard on her. Isaac and her had been inseparable since the summer.
We pulled into the parking lot, as I immediately spotted Taylor's jeep parked a few spaces down. I got out of the car, straightening my pants, and looking over at Zac. He smiled at me, watching me fidget nervously with myself. "You all set?"
"I guess so..." I walked next to him, and behind Isaac and Nicole. We took off our jackets, as Isaac talked to a man in a tuxedo, standing near the dining area.
Nicole took Isaac's hand, and they started to walk towards the table where and Taylor and Meegan were already leaning close into each other in some sort of quiet conversation. Meegan was more than dressed for the occasion. The dress was short, I could just tell. The top was low. Taylor didn't seem to mind either. But he looked so handsome. Gray pants, and a white shirt. It was something I always thought looked best on him, and if we had to go somewhere, he would where it for me. I'm sure this was just another thing to rub in my face...
I didn't actually think I was going to be able to do this. Zac decided to wait for me, as he stood there. I slowly hung my jacket up, knowing very well I was stalling the exact steps I would have to take to walk to that table.
"C'mon." I jumped, as Zac's voice broke my stare. I hadn't realized he was standing there, or that I was lost again in my own thoughts. "Really... its not gonna be that hard. I promise, I won't let him act like a dick."
I made a face at Zac, scrunching my nose.
He put his hands up, in a fake surrender. He knew I hated when he said things like that. "Right." He nodded, "sorry. But we gotta get over there, or they're gonna start thinking we may be doing something unruly in this coat room." Smirking, he moved his elbow out, and I placed my arm comfortably in it. "Don't worry, just breathe." He coaxed.
I smiled, as he escorted me, and we made our way to the table. We looked around at how empty the place was, couples occupying very few table. "Guess Thursday isn't much of a date night, huh?" Zac laughed to himself.
"Finally..." Isaac laughed, "I was beginning to wonder just exactly what you were doing in there."
"Did I not tell you?" Zac asked me, as I sat down in the only chair they had left me. Right next to Taylor. Since the second I had walked near that table, his eyes were on me, in a state of glaring. I tried not to look at him at all, not to let him know I had taken notice. Isaac saw, but couldn't really do anything.
"I just cannot believe we are leaving tomorrow!" Taylor pulled himself out of the glare, to start a conversation.
"I know. It's going to be so weird, to get back on track. We haven't done any of this since before summer vacation. Now to finally leave again, and for four months..."
"Well, I don't care, I can't wait! Yea, I'm going to miss people, but I think I can handle it till we get back. I don't care if its just promotional stuff, we're finally going out again, and meeting people..." Taylor added.
Zac opened his mouth for a comment, before Meegan butted in. "Oh Tay, I know you'll miss me! But don't worry, cause we can talk to each other EVERYDAY! All the time, I'll call, and write, and email, and call some more..." She giggled, and he smiled. I could tell it wasn't of happiness. It was fake.
More joking and conversations were going on, as we finally decided to order. "This stuff is really expensive," Zac eyed us all, well mainly me, nervously. Usually he wasn't very lenient with his allowance money, basically all he saw wasn't' that much. Most of their money went into the bank for saving anyway. He wasn't into spending it on things that didn't have to do with him, or whatever Erica could get out of him.
"I think I might get the lobster," I smiled, as his eyes became larger. "Kidding... I don't eat much, I swear..."
We all had decided on something, as Meegan still sat there, perplexed about what meal she should get. The poor waiter had left, came back, and left again, and Meegan still wouldn't choose. Taylor began pointing things out, hoping something would make her decide. "Nope, not that. Nope, nah, ugh, no way Tay!!" She started giggling, "hey that rhymes!" Nicole stifled a laugh, as Zac laughed more out of the amazement of how dumb she as actually acting. Taylor looked at me, and I turned to look at Zac, hoping I wouldn't laugh. His glare continued.
After Meegan decided, and then decided again, the whole ordering ordeal was over. More conversation was occurring, Taylor moved his arm around Meegan, pulling her closer. Sitting there was becoming more and more uncomfortable. I moved unnoticeably over towards Zac. Taylor was making it a point to make me feel more hurt, and it was working. I was more than relieved to finally get the food, so he would pay attention to something else.
Everything Meegan did or said was pissing me off. All I wanted to do was smack her. She was so dense, I wanted to scream. Taylor, though sitting as close as he possibly could to her, even seemed to grow restless of her mindless comments.
Nicole nodded her head, "I think I'm gonna go to the bathroom. C'mon Julie." She stood up, as Meegan popped her head out of her and Taylor's gaze.
"Great! I think I need to powder my nose..." She started rummaging through her small purse.
I mouthed the words "No!" to Nicole, as she stood there, not knowing what to say. Why was Meegan trying to make this harder? How did she think she was part of this, and where did she hear her name any in this?
"Oh Meegan! I meant to ask you, you know that sweater you were wearing the other day?" Zac asked.
"You mean the pink cashmere one, with the flowers on the bottom?" She inquired.
"Uh, yea" He nodded, trying to act as certain as possible. "Cause my sister really liked it."
Her eyes widened, as she sat back down. "Oh! She did?!" She was so excited to talk about herself once more, she totally blew off the whole trip with us to the bathroom.
I grabbed, and gently squeezed Zac's hand appreaciatedly. He knew what he was doing, and just smiled back at me. Me and Nicole walked towards the bathroom door, smiling at our own little joke that had just played out in front of us.
I pushed open the heavy wooden doors that swung into the bathroom, and looked at myself in the large mirrors. "I hate this." I stated.
"Yea, it sucks." She admitted.
"Did you ever notice what a naïve, conceited, little brainless squeak she is? I can't stand it!"
"If you don't smack her soon, I will!"
"I love Zac, what a guy. I am gonna owe him big time after this..." I laughed, studying myself harder in the mirror.
She laughed, "I know, I have to give him more credit, he's a lot smarter than I expected, or even thought about." She fixed her makeup a little, washing her hands. "we better go back out there..."
"God, let's just stay in here a few more seconds..."
"Do you really want Taylor to send her in here to find us, cause I know he will. He wants to do anything he can to make you uncomfortable tonight..."
"Oh, so you noticed that too?" I tried to smile.
"Uh, yea, and the fact that he's staring at you. Not all the time does he look mad, I swear, a few times when we were eating, I looked up, and he was just watching you. Hope that kinda makes you feel better..."
"I guess so," I said, as we started to walk back to the table.
This time, only two people were sitting there. I looked at Nicole, and she just shrugged back. "Where are there?" I questioned, silently praying that they just hadn't left. "Please say they didn't leave," I looked over at Zac, and he nodded towards the small wooden dance floor.
My heart dropped, as I sunk myself into the chair. There they were, slowly swaying lightly with the music. Meegan had her arms closely wrapped around his neck, as she laid her head on his shoulder, and tightly clenched her eyes. Taylor's arms were lightly resting on her waist. He was staring off, as his mind was not where it should be. He was deep in thought.
I sighed. He never would dance with me. He hated dancing. Why was he dancing with her, he never danced with me. My eyes watered, I just sat there with my head down, staring at my hands on my lap, more hurt than angry.
"Hey. You should have seen her, she was begging, practically crying for him to dance with her. Do you know how annoying that was?" Isaac asked, noticing the upset expression on my face. I just looked at him, nodding slightly.
"Well, I think its time for us to dance Nic, what'ya say?" She smiled, as he took her hand, and led her out.
"You coming," She asked, looking me and Zac, who had sat there silently looking at me.
Zac made a face, but cocked his head to the side. "You want to?"
"Sure, why not..."
"But, I'll tell you now, I have no clue how. I never have to do anything like this, besides those church dances. But we don't actually dance there, we kinda sit around and talk..."
"It's not that hard, I'll show you..." I smiled, as we made our way through the maze of tables, and out onto the wooden floor. It seemed as though the small group of people playing instruments were taking a break, and a couple small speakers, placed on the corners of the floor were playing light music, more to what I enjoyed; not really classical, and actually had "words."
I grabbed Zac's hand, allowed him to lead, as I draped my other arm up and around his neck. He smiled at me. "See... it's pretty easy." I said, smiling back, as the music played on. We danced that way for a few more songs. He was really getting the hang of things. A couple other songs, and you would have never known that he had just learned tonight. "Now you can impress Erica. Just make sure you guys are closer, she'll enjoy it more. Leave that for your girlfriend, though I know you can't keep your hands off me..." I laughed.
"Oh yea Julie, this is just way too intense for me. These feelings I've always had for you are coming out. What am I gonna tell my family? Is this illegal?" He smirked.
I felt a slight tap on my shoulder, and turned around to a smiling Nicole. "You don't mind if I cut in between you two, now do you?" She asked, staring at Zac, not me.
"Of course not," he mocked. "Go dance Jules..."
I looked around, silently wishing Taylor would be standing there, "waiting for me," but he wasn't. Actually, I didn't see him at all, I turned around once more, and began walking back to our table.
"I guess we should dance too..." His familiar voice rang through my ears, as I turned around and faced him.
"Is that an invite? Cause you don't have to do something you don't want to," I looked at him.
He rolled his eyes, but grabbed my hand. "We have to. I got to keep an eye on Isaac anyway." He stated, as we moved in closer.
I knew Taylor wasn't stupid, but I didn't know if he thought I was. There was no reason for him to watch out for Isaac. He would never make a move in front of Nicole, let alone on Meegan.
I couldn't believe it was happening. I was actually dancing with him. He held my hand, holding it lightly against his chest. I wrapped my other arm around his neck. I closed my eyes, knowing it would only make things worse for me, but I really didn't care.
It's nothing, it's so normal you
just stand there I could say so much
but I don't go there cause I don't want to
I was thinking if you were lonely
maybe we could leave here and no one would know
at least not to the point where we would think so
I was just elated to be near him, and his smell I missed so much. I wanted to play with the ends of his hair, and lightly run my fingers up against the back of his neck. I just didn't want to let go. He numbly moved with the music, his thumb was gently caressing against my hand. I opened my eyes, and noticed him intently staring back at me.
everyone here, knows everyone here is thinking about
somebody else
it's best if we all keep it under our heads
I couldn't tell, if anyone here was feeling like I do
but I'm lonely now, and I don't know how
to get it back to good...
"I think I'll dance with you now..." Meegan cut in sweetly. I looked up at Taylor at again, who just stared back at me, but then blankly fell back into the bleak position of Meegan. It had only been about a minute in a half, but it felt so much longer. I stood there, lonesomely watching them for a second, before slowly returning to the table where Nicole, Isaac, and Zac were talking and joking around between each other.
I sat myself down on the chair, as they just watched me, ending whatever little conversation they had going on.
"Well?" Nicole asked, when she realized I wasn't about to start talking.
"What?" I asked. I didn't know what to think, I knew that dancing with him, being right there, that was where we should be. But he was out there still, dancing with her now.
"How was it?" I looked around, as Isaac and Zac waited for me to answer.
"Fine." I stated.
"Fine? That's all... you liked you were having more than a fine time."
I looked down. "It was so nice. That's how I want it to be... But, if you didn't notice, he left me there, and danced with her again..."
"You should have seen her!" Isaac laughed, widening his eyes, "She was eyeing you like a hawk! She is so onto whatever little thing all of us have going on. She wouldn't even let you dance that whole song... I tried to get her back at the table with us, and she was here for about 15 seconds, before she jumped back up... I did what I could."
"Well he didn't seem to mind getting back to her. Its over, I should just get over it."
"Are you kidding?" Isaac's eyes widened yet again in emphasis. "He was enjoying himself out there, for the short time the two of you were dancing, he was staring at you the whole time. He's so full of it."
"So what, there isn't a thing I can do about it..." I moved my eyes to each of them.
"Yes you can! Go out there, slap her, and take your man back!" She smirked.
"Shh... I don't want him, or anyone to hear you. It's ok, really..."
I saw Zac's eyes dart to the left quickly, and I turned around to see Meegan, and Taylor, with his arm around her, walking back to the table.
"We're gonna head out now." Taylor stated.
"Aww, c'mon Tay. The night isn't over. We can have dessert and hang out longer..." Zac looked desperate, trying to stall his brother.
"Nah, Meegan has school tomorrow. She can't stay out too late. We're done here. Bye guys..." Taylor said, as Meegan stood there smirking at me. He gave Isaac some money for his share of the bill.
"Bye, see you later..." Isaac stated.
"Bye Taylor." My voice came out, but in a quiet tone, I almost couldn't tell if I said it or not.
"Bye," He looked at me, but then put his eyes down. I watched him place his hand on Meegan's back, and lead her to the coat check.
I sighed. So this was it, it was over, and they were gone.
"Well, we can still hang out!" Zac cheerfully smiled, trying to lighten the mood at the table. He was the only one who could do that. Nicole looked pissed, along with Isaac who was annoyed.
"Its ok... We can go now too..." I softly said.
"Are you kidding? It's only 7 o'clock." Zac looked down at his watch. "We have all night, and it doesn't look this restaurant is gonna fill." He said, as I looked around. He was right, there were only about two other couples in the whole place. "So, let's go out there, and dance some more. I really want to this time," He stood up, and held out his hand.
Isaac and Nicole watched Zac in amusement, as I shook my head. "I'm not really in the mood..."
"Don't make me drag you." He laughed, still holding his hand out.
I laughed, this was his small attempt to get my mind off of Taylor. I accepted his hand, as he bounced lightly to the dance floor. I stood there for a second, as Zac went and talked to some man by the door. After he came back, some radio mixed dance music began playing.
"I got them to play some music to dance too..." He smiled at me. I wondered why they actually allowed this in this nice of a restaurant, but really didn't care.
He opened his hands, clasping them both in mine, and swaying back in forth in front of me. "Oh Zac, you're such a good dancer," I rolled my eyes.
He laughed, but kept on doing it until I joined in. We were the only ones on the dance floor, Nicole and Isaac still sat there, laughing. He held his arm up, spinning me around. Zac, being just tall enough to do this, was the perfect dance party. We danced to some song, taking over the middle of the floor. Not soon after, Nicole and Isaac got up and we were all dancing there. It had to be one of the best times I've ever had with them. After a few more songs, and being so worn out, we went back to our table.
"Maybe it is time we get home..." Isaac said, noticing our completely cleared off table, and the empty restaurant. "We can drop you off, then Zac at home, and I'll drive Nicole home. Ok?" He asked me.
"Sure," I sighed.
I watched as Isaac picked up the bill, and put some more money down before handing it off to Zac. His eyes widened for a second, before he took out his wallet. I grabbed his hand, stopping him. "I got it." I smiled.
"Nah, I'm not cheap or anything..."
"I know. I want to pay."
"You sure?"
"yea," I smiled.
"Ok, but next time it's on me..."
I grabbed Zac's hand, as we walked to get our coats, and out into the parking lot. The ride home as just as silent as the ride there. I refused to let myself get upset in front of them. I knew that everything was over, yet I didn't want to except it, and I didn't want to make myself known that I was more upset than I showed. Isaac pulled up to the front curb, as we sat there for a couple seconds in silence.
"Well, I guess this is it." Isaac said, turning around to look at me.
I smiled. "Yup, I'll see you in February." I stated, as it sank in.
"Guess so... It'll pass fast, don't worry. And you have Nicole," He looked at her as she smiled.
"I know. Later Zaccy," I laughed, leaning over to gently kiss him on the cheek.
He smiled back. "Later Jules," He squeezed my hand, as I reached for the car door handle.
Nicole opened her door, "I'll walk you to the door." Nicole said, getting out too.
We walked silently across the lawn to my front steps. I stood there, as Nicole smiled at me. She hugged me lightly. Whether I let on or not, she knew exactly how I felt. "Listen Julie, you have to understand, that it's ok. So what if it didn't work out, don't let this pull yourself into a dark end. Taylor's an ass hole for doing this-"
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't keep telling me that he did this. It's all my fault, and I know that. I broke up with him. So if I have anyone to blame, it's me. I'm so sick of everyone saying what an ass he's been, when the only reason he's acting like that, is because of me, and I'm sick of it. How could I be so dumb?" I let the tears slip out of my eyes.
She hugged me again. "You aren't dumb. So what if you made a mistake, he's dumb for not realizing it."
I just nodded.
"Well, call me later on tontonight of you're up. We can be upset together, cause Isaac has to drive me home nnow too."
"Ok," I said, before turning around to unlock my door. I watched as Zac waved from the back seat, and Isaac drove away.
Surprisingly, my parents were home, sitting happily on the couch. "Hi hun," my mom called out, as my made my way straight to my room.
Go On...
*Song Credits go to Matchbox20, "Back 2 Good."
Email: writerjul@hotmail.com
