Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips. Age is important only if you're cheese and wine. The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but he/she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
2. For Sale : Parachute
Only used once, never opened,
small stain.
3. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
4. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
5. I intend to live for ever - so far, so good.
6. Mental backup in progress
- DO NOT DISTURB !!!
7. Support bacteria
- They're the only culture
some people have
8. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
9. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
10. When I'm not in my right mind,
My left mind gets pretty crowded.
1. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
2. Laughing stock : cattle with a sense of humor.
3. Black holes are where God divided by zero.
4. I tried sniffing Coke
once,
but the
ice cubes got stuck in my nose !
5. I poured Spot remover
on my dog.
Now,
he's gone !
There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere ... and let the air out of their tires. -Dorothy Parker Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due. Families are like fudge .. mostly sweet with a few nuts. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
