Now the initial bliss was beginning to wear off. They still loved each other
very much, but they were scared of what was happening. They were becoming
more and more physically intimate as the days went by. Movie nights had
been turned into lengthy make-out sessions. Not that they didn't like the
movies, it was just that they had found something better to do. Both of
them were virgins, and hadn't gone very far with each other or anyone else.
They had been waiting for the right person. Now that they each had the right
person the tension was beginning to mount.
Dawson thought of how he had landed right on top of her earlier that night,
and he had to use all of his strenth and self-control to prevent himself
from ripping off both of their clothes right then and there. Joey had just
been teasing with him. He teased her a lot too, but sometimes the teasing
grew into something more. Something that neither of them were sure of. He
knew that he wanted to make love to her. But was he ready for that type
of intimacy? The moment would have to be right. It would have to be like
the most natural thing to do. He knew he couldn't script it. He wasn't even
sure if she was ready. They were still feeling their way around, pardon
the pun. When they did consummate their relationship he wanted it to be
incredibly romantic and perfect. Not some awkward experience. Not with Joey.
With Jen, things were safe. He didn't have extremely deep feelings for her,
and he didn't know her that well. With Joey, it was... what was it? Wonderful,
but incredibly awkward. They knew each other so well, he was afraid that
would be a turn-off. Would Joey laugh at him? She had once told him that
she could never develop a "thang" for him because she'd seen him
barf, burp, scratch his butt etc... What if that turned out to be true?
Dawson was terrified that she'd remember all those times and then decide
that she didn't want to be with him in that way. And then eventually maybe
she wouldn't want to be with him at all. He couldn't lose Joey. He'd almost
lost her too many times. He couldn't risk letting sex ruin the relationship
they had worked so hard at building.
When he was with Jen the thought of sex passed his mind alot. She was experienced
and would show him the right way to do it. If there even was a right way?
But when they were alone all they would do is kiss. They didn't fool around.
Dawson felt there was something holding him back. He now knew it was his
feelings for Joey that prevented him from going any further than just kissing
with Jen. Now he was with the right girl, their relationship was strong,
and their love was pure and true. This was how he had always dreamed and
hoped it would be.
Joey seemed that she didn't mind him laying right on top of her, with their
bodies so close. Maybe she's ready? Maybe she does want to have sex with
him? There's a mind-blowing throught... But was he ready? More importantly
was he prepared? Pacey had given Dawson a condom once for one of his birthday
gag gifts. So he was prepared in that aspect. Was he mentally prepared?
How should the mood be? Should he ask her straight out if she wanted to
have sex? Was now the right time...what if?...
Dawson silently cursed himself for being so analytical. He got up and turned
the TV off. He could hear the shower turn off down the hall. Dawson looked
down at what he was wearing. It was a old faded T-shirt and flannel pajama
pants. He frowned and hurriedly went about putting on something else, before
she walked in. When he was dressed in black boxer shorts and a sleeveless
undershirt, he examined himself in the mirror. He was no body-builder but
he didn't look too bad. Dawson dimmed the lights and waited for her to enter
the room. He knew that he was probably overreacting. He just wanted to have
a romantic night with his girfriend. He'd know when they were ready. They'd
take it slow for right now, he decided.
A small knock on the door brought Dawson back to reality. "Yeah?"
"Can I come in?" she asked.
"Wait a sec. I gotta get all these girls out of my room," he joked.
The door swung open and Joey charged at him.
"You're dead," she laughed as she hit him over the head with a
pillow.
"Yeah? Well, you're gorgeous." Dawson pulled back and examined
her. The T-shirt he had given her fell a little past her thigh and she had
pulled her soaking wet hair back with an elastic. The water glistened on
her skin. She looked incredibly desirable. He pulled her into his arms and
they sat down on the bed.
"Hey, why'd you change?" she asked, suddenly realizing that he
was no longer in the clothes she had seen him in before.
"Uh...I was hot." he replied with a smirk. That actually, wasn't
too far from the truth.
"Oh." She stared down at his long muscular legs, and strong arms
he held her in. Dawson was no athlete but he was no slouch in the athletic
build department either. _Dawson touched her hair and pulled it out of the
elastic gently. He then quickly jumped off the bed.
"Hey, where are you going?"
"You'll see, Jo. I'll be right back."
"Famous last words, Dawson." They both grinned, and he left the
room. She jumped off the bed also and walked to stand in front of Dawson's
mirror. She felt so much better after taking her shower. She was able to
wash out the baby food from her hair and...think of Dawson.
When they were so close to each other on the bed, she wanted to scream.
She wanted him so much, but wasn't sure what to do. 'Does Dawson really
want to do "it" with some inexperienced girl from the wrong side
of the creek?' she had asked herself over and over. Was she even ready?
She looked into the mirror and tried to smooth out her hair. She looked
down at Dawson's T-shirt and smiled. She looked sexy in it. Dawson would
appreciate it. She went to lie back down on the bed. At that moment he returned
holding a comb and a blow drier. She smiled. He was so thoughtful and considerate
of her well-being. He sat behind her on the bed and she turned around asking
for the comb.
"Let me do it, Jo."
"You sure?" she asked. He nodded. "Okay. Thanks, Dawson."
Dawson set the blow drier on low and Joey sat crosslegged on the bed between
his knees. He slowly combed her hair, occasionally replacing his fingers
for the comb. She smelled so good. He inhaled a few more times. She craned
her neck to look back at him.
"Dove soap and your mom's Pantene. A lot better than the smell of spit-up
baby food, huh?"
He grinned and kissed her on the top of her head. Joey leaned back against
him and relaxed. He continued combing her hair. When he was done blowdrying
the right side of her head he moved her hair to the other side gently. With
her hair out of the way his eyes went straight to the naked flesh revealed.
Her neck was exposed to him and the combination of the soap, shampoo and
the smell that was just Joey, intoxicated him. Dawson closed his eyes and
bent over the back of her neck and layed his lips lovingly on her.
Joey, who had almost started to fall asleep, noticed this and started to
stir. She opened her eyes slowly and then began to close them again as his
lips went back down on her. She bit the inside of her lip and slipped her
eyes completely shut. He paused before he continued to kiss and nip her
skin lightly up and around the sides of her neck. Dawson's soft hair brushed
against her bare skin and she sighed contentedly. His touch and the feel
of him on her was so electric. She reached her arm back and held his head
to her body. Joey arched her neck back and laid her head against his chest.
Dawson had lost himself in her. The smell, and the taste of her was like
a drug to him. He ran his lips along the tip of her chin and back down to
the hollow of her throat. He gently sucked at the skin there and Joey gasped
in delight. She was now incredibly turned on by him, and had to fight to
keep control of herself. Dawson lifted her chin lightly so he could have
better access to her. He left long lingering kisses all over her face, but
avoided her lips. Joey impatiently awaited his lips on hers. Her lips were
in the shape of a small pout and she was softly moaning his name over and
over again. She licked her lips in anticipation. Dawson noticed this but
wasn't ready for that quite yet.
He darted his tongue up and down her neck in long strokes. In her ecstacy
she had lazily rolled her head to the left. Taking advantage of that, he
placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled down the collar of the T-shirt
past her shoulders, exposing more skin to him. The shirt was too big on
her and it slid down easily. He carressed her shoulder with his fingers
and brought his lips back to the side of her neck where he trailed his tongue
back and forth in a way that drove Joey insane. She squealed when he found
just the right spot where shoulder met neck, and lightly sucked on it. She
finally snapped out of it and turned around to face him. They paused for
about a milisecond before they attacked each other's mouths and laid back
down on the bed. Dawson wrapped his arms around her and they continued to
kiss. He slowly snaked his tongue into her mouth and moved it around, exploring
her mouth. She did the same and placed her arms around his torso. She slowly
raked her nails up and down his back.
Soon things were getting pretty intense and neither of them knew what to
do. Were they ready to cross the line? Dawson started to slow down the intensity
of their kisses and Joey felt herself grow uncomfortable also.
"Uh..." Joey began.
Dawson pulled back from their embrace, breathing heavily, and looked into
her eyes. He saw the same uncertainty that he felt. They both sat up straight
and grinned nervously.
"Maybe I should go?" she suggested, straightening out her shirt.
"If you want to... No, wait. Jo, don't leave. We can still have a good
time without...you know. Why don't we watch a movie?"
She thought it over. "Dawson, I'm not sure I can do this."
"Do what?"
"This," she indicated the bed by patting it, "I don't think
I can sleep with you tonight in this bed with only a T-shirt on, and with
you looking so..." she trailed off as she ran her eyes up and down
his body. "I'm just afraid that...," she paused trying to think
of the right and truthful words to say, "Dawson, I do want you. I do
love you. I'm just not sure if I'm ready. Or if the time is right."
He reached out and took her hand in his and placed the other one over it.
"Jo, I understand. We're always so in synch. I feel the same way about
this," he motioned to the bed as she had. Joey grinned at him. "But
we've alway been able to sleep in the same bed without the male/female thing
getting in the way. I'll get you some real pj's to wear if that'll make
you feel better. And I'll put on some also so you'll be able to keep your
hands off me." She laughed. "Seriously, Jo. When we're ready we'll
know. And if we aren't ready for a long time, that's okay. As long as we're
together."
Joey squeezed his hand in hers. He smiled at her and went to get the pajama
tops and bottoms for them. He handed to her an old sweatshirt and some sweatpants.
He grabbed the same for himself. He turned his back as she changed. And
she did the same as he changed after her. When they were both done they
pulled back the covers and snuggled up next to each other in bed. The tension
was still there, but for now they could ignore it and just concentrate on
being together. But they both knew it was only a matter of time before this
situation would arise again, complicating their perfect relationship.
***
