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"Valentine Masquerade"
by Court
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Feedback to: Dcreeker@bigfoot.com
Rated: PG-13
Classification: DAWSON/JOEY ROMANCE (What else?) ;o)
Summary: This is told through Joey's eyes. She reminisces over her current relationship with Dawson, and past and present Valentine's Day events.
Spoilers: This takes place during the present storyline of Season 2 in Feb. 99.
Distribution: ASK
Author's Note: AAHHH! Someone tell me never to write a story within almost 48 hours again. I have been writing all day! But it's so worth it! I have to thank "J," Tam, Mandy, Jess, Angie, Kit, Rachel, and Laura. I could NEVER have done this without you. Thanks so much for putting up with me on the day I decided to type almost 4,000 words. I hope you all enjoy. :o) Happy Valentine's Day, and you D/J fans keep the faith, they'll be scorching again soon. :o) Even apart they are scorching!
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"Valentine Masquerade"
by Court
***
***
February 14. Valentine's Day. What great fun. Another year of stuffing my face with chocolate while I dissect yet another nondistinctive random flick of the month with my lifelong childhood friend, Dawson Leery. Except this year, Dawson would be missing from that comforting equation. The space I needed wasn't enough for him, or so I thought.
Who is Dawson Leery anyway? Just a boy. There are many boys out there. They come in so many shapes, and um, sizes. What was so great about Dawson? Why can't I get over him no matter how hard I try?
Is it the soft golden locks of hair that look so cute when they fall carelessly down his forehead? Maybe it's the smile that I know is just for me? Or it could be the sweet memory of his passionate kisses. Not that I've been kissed much, but I think that he was definitely above average. Definitely the best I've had... I mean, um, the best I've kissed. God, now I'm blushing...
Anyway, back to the reason for this pathetic journal entry. I must need my brain checked. I'm becoming as deluded as the Don Juan wannabe Pacey Witter. Next thing you know I'll be bedding down with my totally unattractive English teacher, Mr. Peterson, during some sketchy afterschool tutoring session. Ewww.... That is too revolting for words. So anyway, (how many times have I used that word already? Not hanging around Dawson has definitely affected my vocabulary...) I've accepted an invite to a Valentine's Day party at Chris Wolfe's house.
...Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Joey Potter going to a Vday party probably to end up dancing with some pimply faced, ass-grabbing lonely loser. But, hey, give me a break. Maybe my latest feeble attempt to get over Dawson might actually amount to something....
Why does everything go back to Dawson...?
***
"Hi Dawson," I startled, with a surprised look on my face. I had been putting away my books from my last class of the day when I slammed my locker and literally come face to face with Dawson. I blushed realizing how close our faces were, and I took a step backward. We were finally getting back to our friendship, which was great...but it was still um, awkward at best.
"Hey Jo," Dawson smiled. I felt my knees buckle a little, just watching the smile light up his face. Lingering effects from our post break-up, I assured myself.
"Hi Dawson...," I said again, giving him my amused half-grin.
He chuckled a little. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little nervous," he said. I smiled and nodded my head, beginning to get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
"So, uh, I know it's a long shot, but I already found the guts to come over here and ask so I'm gonna get it out before my palms start sweating like crazy."
Oh God, sweaty palms... he's going to ask me out...
"Dawson, I..."
"Joey, would you like to spend Valentine's Day with me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows hopefully.
I bit my lip and tried not to look upset. I could imagine myself sitting in his Speilburgized bedroom, on his bed,...in his arms...as we fell asleep after watching ET... But that was just a dream, a mirage. Things could never go back to normal. I had hurt him and our relationship so badly, I couldn't do it again.
"Uh, do you think that's best?" I asked.
His face fell a little but then his optimism returned. "Sure, Jo, I think I can control myself enough to keep my hands to myself if that's what you're worried about," he joked nervously.
I raised an eyebrow and thought about his last statement. It had been too long since I had last felt Dawson's electric touch. Before we were together, every night I would dream of him touching and kissing me. And after we were together... let's just say that the reality even surpassed the fantasy.
"Jo?" Dawson's voice transported me back to reality.
"Yeah..um..." I responded, trying to shake myself out of my reverie. I readjusted the strap of my backpack resting on my shoulder and took a deep breath. "I'd really like to Dawson, but I kind of made other plans..." Well, at least I told the truth...but I still felt my heart break a little as I watched Dawson's face fall again.
"Oh, okay. Well, then I guess it will just be more candy for me this year," he attempted to smile but I knew things weren't alright.
"Dawson, how about we do something tomorrow night? I can bring over popcorn and we can watch ET--" I said quickly before he cut me off.
"Uh, sure, Jo. Um, I gotta get going. Have a good Valentine's Day Joey," he offered, trying to cover the hurt.
I smiled genuinely and touched his arm for a moment, wanting for him to understand that I really do care. "You too, Dawson. I'll try to stop by later tonight, so save me some candy hearts, ok?"
He grinned. "Sure, Joey... As you wish," he said softly. I looked at him, startled for a second before giving him a grin and walking away.
***
Valentine's Day-one year ago
***
"Dawson, can this singles self-pity night get any worse?" I commented, rolling my eyes toward the television.
He smirked, "I guess now's not the best time to tell you I invited Pacey..."
"What!?" I scowled, sitting up against the pillows to give Dawson my icy stare.
He laughed. "I'm just kidding Jo. But, seriously, I know what you mean. 'Till There Was You has got to be right up there with Congo for most lameass movie ever made."
I giggled, "Yeah, this is utterly unwatchable. Please turn it off before it destroys another brain cell."
"As you wish, Jo," he replied, reaching for the remote.
I smiled. "I love that movie. Now, why couldn't you rent The Princess Bride instead, Dawson? I mean, it probably would have depressed me due to my pathetic love life, but it is way better than that dribble."
"Sorry, Jo, this was all they had left at work. Seems making out during romance flicks is now America's favorite Valentine's Day past time."
I shrugged, thinking that over. "Well, that and sex."
"Sex?" Dawson echoed, throwing me a glance.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, who needs those movies when you can be doing the real thing?"
Dawson gave me a mischievous look. "So, I guess I can put away Basic Instinct."
I laughed, sinking back into the pillows, "Yup, that definitely wouldn't seduce me."
Dawson came to lay next to me on the bed, and I could feel my skin get a little hot, but I tried to ignore it.
"So what seduces you, Jo?" he whispered.
I felt my body begin to freeze up. If I turned my head slightly it would be right next to his... I wanted so badly to kiss him, but I was scared. He probably thinks that all this teasing doesn't affect me. To him it's just good clean fun. If only he knew what seduces me, was him.
I tried to play it cool. I wasn't going to let a little advance from Dawson disturb me. I turned to his face, challenging him. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I raised an eyebrow playfully.
Dawson grinned. He loved to flirt without hidden intentions. I have to admit, it is fun, bantering and challenging him at every turn, but sometimes his oblivion makes me so angry. Even Pacey had picked up on my feelings for Dawson, so why couldn't he? The boy lives in a fantasy land, but he isn't stupid.
"Tell me Jo, what would make a girl like you a massive quivering ball of jelly, sexually charged to the max, and so unbelievably blinded by love you can't even see straight it just undeniably swallows you whole?" Dawson turned to look at me with a playful grin on his face but with a serious look in his eyes. I could tell he was really interested in this. I wasn't going to let him get away that easily.
"Well, what about you Dawson? Who holds the leash to your dog walking these days?" I smirked, watching crimson color his cheeks. He looked so cute when he got embarrassed.
"I, uh,... you first," he insisted while trying to hide his embarrassment.
"Well, Dawson, in case you haven't noticed I don't exactly have a dog to walk," I smirked at him. His cheeks flushed again and I watched in surprise as his eyes tried to discreetly lower to look at my chest. It seemed he actually had noticed. It was about damn time. Sometimes it felt as if I was one of the guys to him except I had breasts and not a so-called "dog."
I felt a little happy watching him inspect my female qualities with his eyes. Normally I'd scowl and call him a pig, but for some reason this didn't bother me. Maybe there was hope to be more than the tomboy from across the creek.
His eyes traveled back up my body and our gazes locked for one moment. I felt my heart rate quicken and almost forgot to breathe. My palms started to sweat as I looked deep into his eyes. I licked my lips nervously but didn't dare to move. What was about to happen was something I had wanted so badly for too long. In my otherwise pathetic existence he was the one bright spot.
I had lost faith in love, trust and other romantic notions but he made me want to believe. Dawson knew me so well and even if he didn't like lust for me and love me in the romantic way I wanted him to, I guess I never have felt unwanted or unloved around him. That's what made Dawson Leery so special to me.
I began to turn my head toward him. I watched his expression. I don't think I had ever seen it before. His eyes were a deep clear blue and his perm-grin was slowly melting away. I leaned my head in toward him... but then suddenly what could have been the most incredibly memorable experience of my life was over.
Dawson sat up on the bed suddenly and averted his eyes. I could tell he was in full analyzation mode, trying to decipher what was going on. Please, someone buy him a clue before I pound some sense into him. God!
I sighed. Why did I even get my hopes up only to have them crushed again and again? It was sadomasochistic, that's what it was. I need professional help.
I looked back at him, back to being clueless as ever. Dawson was now rummaging through his desk excitedly.
"Dawson, what are you doing?"
He held up two pieces of paper and two pens. "Having an epiphany, Jo."
Great. I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I'll bite."
Dawson rejoined me on the bed and handed me a paper and pen. "I understand you don't want to divulge your most personal secret fantasy, but..."
I looked at him. Why wasn't he letting this go? I couldn't very well tell him that I wanted to jump his bones... although at this moment I really wanted to crush them instead.
"Grow up, Peter Pan. This is childish," I retorted sarcastically.
He looked hurt. "Come on, Jo," he pleaded giving me those puppy dog eyes. Oh, damn him! Why does he have to be so cute? Geez, I have a lot of respect and pride. Joey Potter can't say no to a cute face-albeit that wasn't technically true unless that pretty face happened to belong to Dawson Leery.
I sat up angrily. "Fine, Dawson. Whatever."
Dawson looked at me and I felt my anger fade. I had hurt him with that last comment.
"Dawson," I began softer. "I'm sorry. It's just,... Oh nevermind. I'm fine. Let's do this."
He gave me a concerned look. "Jo, are you..?"
I smiled, and tried to hide my fear. "Yup, it's fine. So who first?"
Dawson raised an eyebrow in thought. "Um, let's do it at the same time."
I nodded. Good. Well at least I didn't have to endure the humilation of going first. What was I going to write!?
Dawson studied me. "Just think of a dream Jo. Something that makes you happy, excited,...turns you on etc...,"
I laughed nervously. "Yeah, whatever Dawson. Don't worry about me, you get writing yourself. I wanna know who and what makes Dawson Leery blue balled."
"Jo!" he exclaimed, looking away from me nervously. Ha, I knew I could get to him.
I turned toward my paper and tried to think of what to write... I couldn't write about Dawson. I closed my eyes and conjured up an image. A sexy image that made me curl my lips up into a smile.
I began to write--
Tall, not overly muscular, but strong enough to be able to carry me in his arms and kick some serious ass if he wanted to. He's dressed in loose black jeans and the back of them are snug to his fine ass. His hair falls over his eyes and he looks at me through his heavy eyelids. He's kind of aloof, but not snobbish... He hands me a rose which he puts in my hair. He's a serious romantic. He never lies or misleads me. I can feel his kisses all the way down to my toes, even the sweet light ones. His shirt is unbuttoned at the top and I can see a little tattoo over his heart with my name on it. When I'm with him I know I'm the only girl in his eyes and heart...
I nervously bit my bottom lip and looked over at Dawson. His eyebrows are furrowed, deep in thought. But there's some other expression on his face besides concentration,...he looks a little disturbed. I clear my throat.
"Hey Dawson?"
He looks up and covers his paper with his hand. "Huh?"
Geez, what is with him? "Um, I'm gonna go grab a soda. Do you want one?"
He shakes his head, but doesn't look me in the eye. "No thanks, Joey."
A few minutes later I return with a can of Diet Coke in my hand. Dawson avoids my eyes as I sit down again. I open the can and take a quick sip. "So, are you done?" I ask him, while I pick up my paper and fold it. He looks at the paper in my hand and then back down at his own.
"Uh...you know what Jo. You were right. This is stupid. Why don't we watch ET?" he gets off the bed and begins to rummage around his video collection. I'm confused. What changed? Oh, I would give anything to read his fantasy! Oh well...it's probably for the best. I really didn't want to show him mine in the first place.
"Um, sure, Dawson," I reply, crumpling up the paper in my hand. Dawson turns around at the sound of me throwing it across the room into his wastepaper basket. I shrug my shoulders and settle back to watch our movie, ET.
He rejoins me on the bed and fidgets nervously for a few moments. "Um, Dawson?"
He slowly answers me. "Yeah?"
"Happy Valentine's Day," I offer, giving him a small smile. I watch a smile start across his handsome features.
"You too Jo," he says, relaxing back against the pillows to watch the movie.
***
I need a lobotomy. What was I thinking coming here? Chris Wolfe's house... aka party planet. This guy has more booze than our local liquor store. Yup, I most definitely need a lobotomy.
What I forgot to mention was that this party is a special party. It's a masquerade Valentine's Day party. You know how it goes, everyone dresses up and conceals their identity. Pretty much an invitation to date rape,...and I actually accepted the invite. Just shoot me please. Put me out of my misery.
Okay, kind of pathetic and stupid, but I had no other plans. I couldn't see Dawson, because I just knew that would lead to... well, I'm not sure what exactly...but I knew that I was still in love with him and it was going to seriously complicate our newfound friendship if visited him on the most romantic day of the year.
So anyway back to the party. Chris actually made us pick names. I had dressed up totally against type-as a cheerleader. So I picked a perky name to go alone with my new identity. Give me a K! Give me an I! Give me a M! Give me another M! Give me a Y! What does it spell? It spells a very gag-worthy, stereotypical cheerleaders name-Kimmy!
It was hard to figure out how to conceal my face with a mask that matched my perky cheerleading ensemble. I had found a yellow face mask... it didn't conceal everything, just my eyes, forehead and nose...but it was good enough. Chris had whistled at me. He had dressed up like a T-Bird from Grease. Typical...
Although the party kinda did suck, no one had figured out my identity! A lot of people had come up to me and said "Hi Abby," to which I scoffed and walked off in an
Abby-esque type of way, now that I think of it. I had found a blonde wig to go with my outfit. I had to have the bleached blonde airhead cheerleader look exactly right. I know that all cheerleaders aren't mentally vacant, but the ones at my school definitely were. Take Christy Livingstone for example. She actually believed Pacey had a heart disease called a heart stripe!! If only!
I headed over toward the punch bowl, which I'm sure was spiked, for a drink. I didn't really care if it was spiked, I was bored to the max and needed something to take the edge off. I reached the bowl and readjusted my mask because it was itching my nose. I couldn't wait to get out of here.
"Allow me."
I fixed the mask on my face and looked up. There stood this totally sexy stud. I felt my cheeks flush and I thanked god for the mask.
"Um, thanks," I squeaked out.
He smiled at me as he poured us both two cups of fruit punch. I felt weak in the knees. The attraction was instant.
"A drink for the lovely lady," he said in a deep voice. I smiled, then resumed my new identity. I may look like an airhead cheerleader, but I certainly didn't want to act like one. To go along with my new identity I needed a fresh new attitude.
"Why thank you stranger. You come with a name or just a killer smile?" I pursed my lips and took a sip of my punch, keeping my eyes on him as I drank. I couldn't believe myself, this was so un-me...and I was loving it.
He gave me a small grin from below his black mask. Oh, damn Chris! Why does this have to be a masquerade party? I really wanted to see what this guy looked like. He looked damn fine in his jeans and shirt, but that was all I could see. I couldn't even see his hair! He had a black kerchief around his head, almost in a Zorro type fashion. Antonio Banderas never did anything for me, but this guy... geez, he was making "little Joey Potter" blush... But I wasn't "little Joey Potter" tonight.
"Both, actually. I'm Vincent, but you can call me Vince," he smiled, while tugging at his collar to undo the top button. "Wow, it's hot in here."
Flirt. I smiled. "I'm Kimmy. It is kinda hot in here, let me...," I leaned toward him and unbuttoned another button. His hand came up to mine, and a shock went through my body. I was sure he could feel it too.
He pushed my hand away gently and rebuttoned the button. "Thanks, Kimmy. But I'd rather we get some air."
I stepped back, watching his face. He had these really intense eyes... They were so clear. It was so sexy, just being able to see his eyes and lips. I mean, I'd like to see the rest of him. I'm not that shallow. Well...
"Air sounds good," I smiled at him again. "Lead the way," I said. He smiled at me and took my hand, leading me out of the room. My senses were on overload as he gently pulled me toward the door. I followed closely behind, checking out his ass along the way. Yup, this guy was definitely hot. I may not be shallow, but Kimmy was. It was fun to not be sensible Joey Potter for one night.
***
Vince wasn't very different from me, well the Joey in me, not Kimmy. Geez, these fake identities really were confusing me. He was really sweet, and made me feel special. He didn't glance at the many girls that walked by us. I even let him hold my hand as we stared out at the stars and the full moon.
Full moon... Dawson. I found myself thinking back to holding Dawson's head in my arms. I would have done anything to comfort him. I felt so close to him that night. He had never broke down in front of me before. It felt so good to know that he trusted me. I remember when our lips met that night. That kiss meant more to me than any kiss I'd ever share with anyone else. It was about love, trust,...it was just so sweet and tender. I loved his lips...
"Kimmy?"
I snapped my head up, returning from my dreamlike state. "So, Vince tell me something about yourself."
He squeezed my hand and brushed a piece of black lint from his jeans. "I'd rather that be a mystery Kimmy. It's all one big fantasy anyway, isn't it?"
I nodded my head, feeling a little sad. I kept smiling though, to keep up the Kimmy persona. "Well, then tell me about Vince. What does Vince like? Is he a skater boy? Does he play in a band? Does he aspire to be the next Tom Hanks? Does he enjoy getting sweaty? During sports, I mean. Does Vince aspire to play in the NBA? Does he have a girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend he's still in love with? Has he ever played tonsil hockey on the first date?" I raised an eyebrow at him flirtatiously. I was playing with him, but it felt good to the one in control. Kimmy was beginning to grow on me.
"Twenty questions, huh?" he laughed, while looking off into the distance.
I studied his face from the side. His skin was so smooth and kissable. I wanted to forget all about Dawson and kiss him. Dawson, Dawson, Dawson. God! I wasn't Joey tonight. I was Kimmy. Why couldn't I just be someone else, with someone else for one night?
I sighed and looked up toward the sky again, then I felt Vince's hand brush the fake blonde hair away from my forehead. I smiled at him and wet my lips. "I don't know what to tell you, Kimmy. I'm just a guy looking for love. I mean, that's why we're here right?"
I nodded again feeling melancholy once again. "Have you ever been in love?" I whispered, leaning closer to him.
He looked me straight in the eyes. My heart started to pound as I awaited his answer.
"Yes. I'll always be in love with her," he responded softly.
I guess I wasn't the only one having trouble getting over the love of her life. God, why does love have to suck so much sometimes? It really wasn't fair.
"But I'm here with you now..." he continued, as he reached out to turn my face toward his.
I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. Was he going to kiss me? A few moment ago that's all I wanted, to be flirtatious Kimmy suggesting to some stranger that they go find a room and explore every crevice or their mouths. But... did I really want that?
He leaned in closer to me and I brought my hands up to touch the kerchief covering his hair. He took my curious hands in his own and kissed them both. I felt a feeling of warmth spread through my body.
He opened his arms and wrapped one around my shoulder. I felt safe with him so I welcomed the embrace. He was kind of tall, but so was I so it was a perfect fit. I bet Vince did get continually sweaty in some type of physical sport. He had a nice chest and arms. He wasn't showy about it, but the shirt he wore clung to his muscles.
I touched his skin with my fingers lightly. I felt something electric between us.
"Kimmy? Can I ask you my own set of twenty questions?" he asked, turning to look at me.
"I thought you wanted it all to be a mystery," I teased.
"I changed my mind. Vince likes to change his mind a lot," he winked at me. I grinned and nodded my head.
"Are you happy? Does your life satisfy you? Are you really a perky cheerleader, or are you playing against type? Are you the school brainiac? Do you have a clueless boyfriend lurking somewhere? He would have to be clueless to let you go. You're absolutely beautiful Kimmy."
I blushed from beneath my mask. "Vince, you can't even see me."
"True, but I can see through your fake identity to the real you. And one thing I know for sure besides that you aren't a slutty flirtatious cheerleader that picks up strange guys at parties, is that you are not a natural blonde."
"Oh yeah?" I challenged him. "Well, what's with the Zorro get-up? Even your hair is covered," I pointed out.
"Mystery, Kimmy. It's all about mystery."
"Well I'm sick of mystery. Can't I at least get a peek?" I was dying to know what this guy looked like. I wanted to show him the real Joey too. Kimmy was fun, but she wasn't me.
He cocked his head to one side. "You get a peek if I get a kiss," his deep voice whispered in my ear.
Kiss? Vince may be a-pardon the cheesiness of the phrase-kindred spirit, but...kiss him? I was still Kimmy, though.
"Pucker up baby," I purred, reaching around the back of his neck to pull him closer. His eyes suddenly filled with doubt. My heart was pounding again. I was scared, but I wanted to do this. I wanted to see who Vince really was.
Our faces drew nearer and I inhaled his scent. Dawson was the only guy I'd ever smelled. Eww, that sounded nasty. I meant, his cologne. It was a gentle musky smell. I liked it. Vince had a spicy scent to him. I breathed in deeply and focused on his lips.
I was about to kiss him but felt a little guilty. Why was I kissing some stranger when my heart still belonged to Dawson? Why was it easier to kiss him? There was no emotion really involved, maybe that's what it was. With Dawson our kisses were filled with love, passion and tenderness. With Vince it would be totally different...but did I want different?
He put his hand on the side of my face. I wondered if I knew this guy. I hadn't disguised my voice...what if this was that asshole Grant Boding trying to play a joke on me? At least I knew it wasn't Chris. I wasn't exactly into menage a trois, after all. Oh, stop analyzing Joey! Just do it!
I caressed his face and pulled it toward mine. His arms went around my body instantly. He didn't even hold back. I was a little uncomfortable kissing someone else...until I realized I wasn't.
Vince's lips weaved in and out of mine as his tongue plunged into every deep place in my mouth. He felt so good and I leaned even further into his embrace. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck and enjoyed the feel of his hands stroking my back. Our kiss was like a spontaneous combustion. It was absolutely electric and totally arousing. It was my fantasy come true...
Wait a second...
I climbed into his lap and drew our bodies closer together. My fingers crept up his neck and in one clean sweep I ripped off the black kerchief.
"Dawson?" I yelped, climbing off of him. He looked at me with confused eyes underneath the blonde locks of hair that fell carelessly over his heavy lids.
"Who's Dawson?" Vince answered, breathlessly.
My head was racing. What was going on? The kiss, the feeling,...geez, the outfit... It had to be Dawson.
Vince caressed my cheek with the back of his palm. I took one look at him and climbed back into his lap, feverously kissing him again. I trailed my hands down to his neck again and undid a button while I sucked on his bottom lip. I peeked at him through my eyelashes and saw that I had him. I undid the next button and pressed myself closer to him. Vince groaned and held me tighter. I got the shirt undone and moved so I could kiss his neck while I got a good look at his chest. Sure enough, there it was.
"Joey..." Dawson moaned.
I jumped off his lap again. "Dawson Leery! I knew it was you!"
"What?" he gawked in a higher voice. I groaned and pulled our masks off and then threw my blonde wig on the floor.
I couldn't believe him. I was so furious! How could he trick me like this? What gave him the right to toy with my feelings?
"Joey, I can explain... wait, how did you know it was me?"
"It was so obvious!" I yelled. But I was lying. I hadn't known...not until our lips met. I could never mistake a Dawson Leery kiss.
He pushed back the hair from his eyes and put his head in his hands. "Jo, I'm sorry..."
"What, Dawson? You're sorry for what?" I prompted.
"I'm sorry... I just wanted to be your fantasy guy," he muttered with a sad look in the eyes I had found so enrapturing earlier on.
Then it hit me and all my anger, fear and frustration faded. He did this for me. He didn't think he was good enough anymore. Did I really make him feel that way?
I sighed and took a seat beside him. "My fantasy guy... You read my fantasy from last year, huh?"
"I'm sorry, Jo, it was just so tempting."
"Why'd you do it? I mean, why did you even care? At that point in time we weren't anything more than best friends to each other."
He ran his hand through his hair again and he bit his lip nervously. "I, Joey... That was the night I realized that we weren't just best friends to each other."
What? I looked at him in confusion. He couldn't mean...
Dawson sighed. "Joey, I described my fantasy girl and what seduces me. It came to me in a rush of images, feelings, and thoughts very quickly. When I sat back to look at it... I realized something. It was you."
To say my mouth dropped would be an understatement. "Dawson," I tried to smile at him gently. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I... well, you were right. I was clueless then. I didn't know you felt the same way at the time."
God, we were idiots. We had let our pride, egos, stubbornness and fear keep us apart for so long. I smiled at him lovingly. "So, is that when you got the tattoo?" I couldn't help smirking.
He actually laughed. "Jo, I'm a wuss around needles. It's not permanent. It's just part of the whole big Vince and Kimmy fantasy. I just wanted to be the one you wanted again."
My heart almost skipped a beat. "Vince is not my fantasy guy," I whispered, turning to look at Dawson.
His face fell a little. "I'm sorry, Joey, I tried... It's just... Joey, I miss you so much. I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt to be apart from you. I'm trying to give you space... I really am."
"Dawson, Vince isn't my fantasy guy," I repeated, then I took a deep breath to speak when I was sure I had his attention. "When I wrote that fantasy thing last year you know what I was thinking? I was thinking of you... but then I couldn't very well write that on my paper. We weren't together then, we weren't anything then... But Dawson, now I know and I'm ready to admit it. You are my fantasy. You're who I want. I don't want Vince, that tight black jean wearing stud. Although...," I giggled, blushing, "you do look very nice I must admit and the tattoo was a really nice touch. But, seriously, Dawson. I want you back. I've just been so scared to admit it. I'm sorry," I felt like crying. I know it takes two to make or break a relationship, but I felt so responsible. It was my own stubborn pride that kept us apart.
I looked up and studied his face. He looked like he was about to cry too. "Joey... you hurt me so much," he murmured looking down at the ground.
I knew it... But that wasn't going to stop me from trying. I wanted him back. I would take anything he had to offer me.
"Dawson, love isn't all roses and happy endings... but I do love you. And I will promise you I won't let my insecurity or pride stand in the way of us again. Whatever it takes..."
He smiled at me and I felt a happy warm feeling all over. "Joey, I could be petty and make you wait for me...but I'm not going to do that. No more games. No more facades. I want you, and I love you still. That will never change. Just believe in us."
I couldn't believe my ears... We were getting back together. Back to Dawson and Joey. Back to good. Back for good.
"Dawson, I'll never mislead or play games with you again. Because I have tried, but now I know I can't live without you. I'll be honest, just love me," I whispered, looking at him adoringly. This was right. Vince had been a nice fantasy, but I loved Dawson.
He smiled and leaned in closer toward me. "As you wish, Jo."
I smiled at the memory and followed his lead as our lips met in a sweet kiss. After a moment we broke away and wrapped our arms around each other. This was home. There was no denying or mistaking that feeling anymore. I never wanted to leave home again.
***
Happy Valentine's Day :o)
***
Next...
