Yo mama's (ETC): butt so big, she's taller when she sits down.
chest so flat, she's every pirates dream ... a sunken chest.
so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of her!
so hairy, when you came out, you got rugburn.
so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.
so hairy, when she asked for a trim at the beauty salon, the stylist opened up her shirt.
so hairy, she's got afros on her nipples.
so hairy, she's got a gotee growin' around her belly button.
nose so big, she picks it with a boxing glove.
nose so big, you can go bowling with her boogers.
nosehairs so long, she can have them braided.
armpits so hairy, she looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
so bald, you can see what's on her mind.
so bald, she looks like an overgrown testicle.
feet so big, they need license plates.
house so small, you ordered a large pizza and had to eat it outside.
house so small, I threw a rock through your window and it hit everybody.
house so small, the front and back doors are on the same hinge.
house so dirty, I have to wipe my feet before I go outside.
house must be made of toilet paper -- cause your whole family's full of shit.
so nasty, she had to cut the strings from her tampons to stop her crabs from bungee jumping.
so stink, she has to creep up on bathwater.
so stink, she sweats Black Flag.
ears so big, she can't hold cigarettes behind them.
ears so big, she gets satellite reception.
teeth so bad, her dentures' got cavities.
teeth so yellow, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
teeth so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
teeth so yellow, she'd put the sun out of business.
teeth so yellow, you never needed a crayon to color the sun.
teeth so yellow, when she smiles, people start singing, "I got sunshine, on a cloudy day...".
breath so bad, when she yawns, her teeth yell, "DUCK!"
breath so bad, when she stuck out her tougue, it was on a stretcher.
breath so bad, her gums went on strike.
breath so bad, she needs a Tic Tac with batteries in it.
breath so bad, people look forward to her farts.
lips so big, Chapstick had to invent a spray.
so skinny, her nipples touch.
so skinny, if she had a big toe, she'd look like a golf club.
so skinny, she can peep through the keyhole with both eyes.
twice the man you are.
strong ... then again, smell ain't everything.
arms so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
missing a finger and can't count past nine.
got a head so small, she uses a teabag for a pillow.
got one leg shorter than the other and they call her Hip-Hop.
in a wheelchair, screaming, "I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS!"
only got one leg and telling everyone to get off on the right foot.
got one leg and a bicycle.
got one hand and a Clapper.
got no fingers and a banjo.
got no ears, but she still says, "I hear ya!".
got green hair and thinks she's a tree.
got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
has no neck and they call her Head and Shoulders.
has only two fingers and she's asking people to "gimme five".
has an afro with a chinstrap.
has three teeth; one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
has one short leg and walks in circles.
has one short arm and can't applaud.
has everything a man can want: muscles, a big chest, and a beard.
like a potato chip -- Fri-to Lay.
like a screen door -- the more I bang her, the looser she gets.
like the Pillsbury Dough Boy -- everyone gets a poke.
like peanut butter -- smooth, creamy, and easy to spread.
makes a great golf course, everyone gets a hole in one.
like shotgun: one cock and she blows.
like a rifle: four cocks and she's loaded.
like a hardware store: four cents a screw.
like Domino's Pizza -- "Something for Nothing".
like a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.
like a bus -- guys climb on and off her all day long.
like a Toyota: "Oh, what a feeling".
like Chinese food -- sweet, sour, and cheap.
like a bowling ball -- you pick her up, shove your fingers into her, throw her in the gutter and she still comes back for more.
like a casino: liquor in the front, poker in the back.
pussy so dry, even the crabs carry a canteen.
so slutty, she could suck-start a Harley.
so slutty, her legs are like a 7-11, open 24 hours a day.
so slutty, she held a "Hands Across My Ass" charity drive.
so slutty, when she heard Santa Claus say, "HO, HO, HO!", she brought two of her friends.
so slutty, I could have been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
so slutty, I could have been your daddy, but the dog beat me upstairs.
so slutty, her vibrator runs off a DieHard battery.
so slutty, I don't need a mama, me and my daddy just use yours.
so slutty, I had to park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in.