Yo mama's so STUPID: I caught her looking over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
it took her half an hour to make minute rice.
she thought a hot meal was stolen food.
she looks for the Sunday paper on Tuesdays.
she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog.
she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses/water-proof teabag/condom with sweatholes/wheelchair with pedals.
she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away the W's.
if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get back change.
she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.
she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico.
she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "Concentrate".
I told her it was chilly outside, so she went and got a bowl.
I told her the drinks were on the house, she went and got a ladder.
she thought Beirut was a famous home run hitter.
she calls pagers collect.
tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she went to drug rehab because she thought she was Hooked on Phonics.
they had to burn her school down just to get her out of 2nd grade.
that on her job application, under Education, she put, "Hooked on Phonics".
she asked me what kind of jeans I had on, I said "Guess", and she said "uh, Levi's?".
she stands up on an empty bus. when you were born, she looked at the umbilical cord and said, "Hey, it comes with cable."
she thought hamburger helper came with another person.
she sold her car for gas money.
that she hops the turnstyle when she gets OFF the train.
she checked the Lost and Found when she missed her period.
she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
when I asked her to buy me a color TV, she asked me what color.
when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.
she saw a "Wet Floor" sign, so she took a piss.
she got fired from a blow-job.
she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed.
she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor.
I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
she thought Cheerios were donut seeds.
she thought Meow Mix was a dance album for cats.
I asked her to go to Subway's for two heroes and she came back with Batman and Robin.
I taught her how to do the "Running Man", and I haven't seen her since.
she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops.
someone told her to take out the trash, so she moved out of the house.
she writes "Thank You" notes for her bills.
she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house!
she married your daddy.
she cooks with Old Spice.
I know she's been using my computer when I see the White-Out on my screen.