The next couple of days were normal for the Hanson's. They sunk back into the regular routine of recording during the day and chilling during the night. On Friday night, Zac was browsing the Internet, when he came across a very interesting website.
"Hey guys!" he called to his brothers. "Check out this website I found!" His brothers wandered over to see what great wonder Zac had unfolded and stood by the computer.
"Www.ifarted.com?" laughed Ike. "There's actually a website called that?"
"Yeah," Zac said proudly. "There's also a www.ihavetopee.com and a www.yourmom.com!"
"Guess what else I came across yesterday?" Taylor said darkly. "A www.3-D.com. Offical merchandise and tour information. And it says that starting in January, they're going to be touring with Mandy Moore, PYT, Innosense and Youth Asylum as part of the Generation NeXt tour!"
"That's disgusting," Ike said. "Why would anyone want to see that concert?"
"All teenyboppers," Taylor agreed. "I guess Taylor's a shy farter. He farts quietly and then blushes!" Zac laughed, still reading the website.
"We've got to stop 3-D from going on tour. We've got to totally wreck their performance at The Vibe tommorrow night," Tay said, ignoring Zac. "And I think I have an idea," he said as a smirk came across his face. His brothers leaned in to hear the plan.
Saturday morning, the brothers were awake earlier than usual. After eating a quick breakfast, they snuck out the car and drove downtown to do some buisness with a certain Internet website. They got all the materials they needed and drove to their next location, a comedy store called The Laugh Machine. They bought a few certain items and went to the last stop, a sewing store. Feeling rather stupid being three teenage boys in a sewing stores with all Grandmas and Mothers, they quickly bought what they needed and sped on towards home.
"If we're lucky, they'll be doing the same exact show that they did when we were with them," Taylor said. "The same dumb songs with the same dumb outfits."
"How are we going to get all this stuff backstage, Tay?" asked Zac, sewing something together that was silver and shiny.
"Hey, we're Hanson, remember?" Tay laughed. "We can do anything we want!"
"Ooo, snobby," said Ike. "Reminds me of some people."
"People that we're going to uterlly humilate and make fools of tonight?" asked Zac.
"Yup." They continued working all day. Taylor collected stuff from the kitchen that they would need for their plan: five cans of beens, some string and scissors, and three sticks of butter. Around 4:30, Zac went and ate a can of beans, not realizing that it was to be used for their misson.
"I'm sorry! I didn't know!" he whined.
"Now we only have four cans!" Taylor said sternly. "I guess the plan will still work. Is everything done?" Zac and Ike held up their masterpieces and Taylor smiled. "This is going to be soooo good."
It was now 7:00 that night. The show was going to start at 8:00 and the Hanson's knew that 3-D wouldn't get there until fifteen minutes before they went on stage.
"They're too good to do a sound check," Taylor sniffed.
They all changed into different clothes; Taylor in a pizza delivery outfit, Ike in a minister outfit and Zac in a clown suit, carrying balloons.
"How come I get stuck in this stupid outfit?" he grumbled.
"Because you're the dumbest," Taylor explained.
"Oh. Okay," Zac said, straightening his bow tie.
"Is everyone ready?" asked Ike. "We got everything?" They nodded and proceeded out the door to the orange El Camino in the driveway.
As they were driving along the freeway, Zac noticed that the people in the other cars were staring at them. "What's wrong with them?" he asked.
"Well, we must be quite a sight," said Ike. "A pizza delivery, a minister and a clown in an 1982 orange El Camino!"
"What's weird about that?" asked Zac, sticking his tounge out at a BMW that was passing them.
They arrived at the club around 7:20. "We gotta hurry," said Tay, grabbing some of the many bags that they had brought with them, along with a pizza box. Ike took some bags and a Bible and Zac took his 17 helium filled balloons out of the car and almost went to outerspace without a goodbye to his family until Ike grabbed his legs and pulled him back to Earth. "Thanks!" Zac said, waddling over to the club entrance.
"Pizza!" Tay said to the bouncer at the front door, as he walked by him.
"From the Holy Church of the Brethren," Ike said solomly.
"Um, balloons!" sqeaked Zac as he ran after his brothers. Once inside, they breathed a sigh of relief as they squirmed out of their costumes.
"Phew, that worked," Tay said. They walked onto the main dance floor. There was no one inside yet, except for a few sound men checking the mics and lights. Ike went up to them.
"Hey, there was a spark in the control room and everythings burning up!" Ike yelled to them. The men looked up and yelled and sprinted back to the sound booth. When they were all inside, Tay slammed the door shut and locked them inside it.
"Okay, they're out of the way," he said. He looked at the stage and saw a huge banner that said, "GenNext presents: 3-D!" Taylor took something out of one of the bags and said, "Well, let's get to work! We have a half hour." They all split up to work on their specific mission.
Taylor took the stage. Using the sticks of butter he had taken from the kitchen, he smeared it all over the stage until it was quite slippery and he had to practically crawl off without breaking his neck. Next he went up on the catwalk above the stage and took down the banner and attached a new one in its place. Then he found the cans of beans and tied the string around them. He opened them just enough so that they could hang from the ceiling without spilling out yet.
Ike went to the sound booth, where he found the angry sound men trying to break out of the room. He took a frying pan that they had bought from the comedy store and hit them all over the head and knocked them unconcious. He took out a whoopie cushion out from the bag and set it up next to the house microphone, which could project and be heard by everyone in the club, including people in the bathrooms and at the bar. He also took out a container, labeled "Fart in a Can" and put it by another microphone. Then he adjusted some things with the lights and was satisfied with his work.
Zac was backstage. He took his bag and found the girls' dressing rooms. He was pleased to find that their outfits were already there, all layed out ready for them to pull on as soon as they got there. There was the outfit with the red halter tops and the black vinal pants, which Zac recognized from the other performance. He took out his sewing creation, and to his delight, they were an exact replica...only two sizes to small.
"Hehe," he said. He pulled out a second outfit, black tube tops with silver pants. Unseen to the eye, the pants had severe rips in the butts. He heard a crackling noice coming from his pocket. It was the walkie-talkie that they each had.
Taylor's voice came over the speaker. "Okay guys, is everyone finished?"
"Yeah," replied Ike's voice.
"Uh huh," Zac said.
"Okay, good. Everyone get in your positions. Zac, you hide in the closet next to the dressing room. Ike, you stay in the sound booth. I'll be on the catwalk. Zac, it's your duty to tell us when they arrive."
"Yes sir!" he saluted.
"Ike, you keep watch of when to do the sound affects. And I'll work the beans and banner. Everyone ready?"
"Yeah!" Ike said.
"Let's do it!" Zac said enthusastically.
"Alright!" said Tay. "Good luck!"
Zac took his place and left the door open a crack. He looked at his watch. "It's almost 8:00," he whispered into the walkie-talkie. He could hear people lining up outside the club. In a couple of minutes, Zac heard the girls themselves walk in the back door and go to the dressing room.
"They're here," Zac whispered.
"That food was so good!" Tracie said. "I can't believe we ate that much!"
"Oh look, here's our outfits," Mindie said. "We look soooo cute in these!" The girls giggled.
"I hope I can move in this!" exclaimed Sylvie, holding up her black pants.
"As long as you can dance, we'll be fine. We don't have to sing, our voices will be on the track already."
Zac spoke softly into his walkie-talkie. "Ike, they're lipsyncing. Got that?"
"Check," came Ike's reply. Zac listened as the girls got changed into their first outfits.
"Ooo, this is tight!" gasped Mindie when she was done. "I don't remember them being this tight before!"
"It's probably just the food we ate. It'll go away," Tracie said as she sqeezed into her pants. "Almost show time! Everyone got their headsets?"
"I heard it's a full house," said Mindie said excitedly. "All here to see us!"
"Of course!" Sylvie said. "Well, let's go!"
"They're leaving," Zac said.
"Ready the lights and music," Tay's voice came. "Good work, Zac. Come out and watch the show!"
Zac left his position and went by the side of the stage, in the shadows. It was dark, but he could hear the people in the club.
Taylor watched from the catwalk. The place was packed. It was showtime. "Cue the intro, Ike," he said. He saw Ike give the thumbs up sign to him and the lights flashed on and off.
Ike started the tape. A deep voice came on the speakers and everyone quieted and turned to the stage. There were tons of reporters and photographers to review 3-D.
"Be prepared to enter the world of 3-D," the voice said as dance music came on. "Tonight is the party of the century and 3-D is there to take you to the top."
The colored lights flashed on the stage and the music to their first song came on and people cheered. 3-D, rather stiffly, ran on the stage to the crowd and waved at everyone. Then, an expression of shock came over all the girls faces as they slipped on the buttery stage and fell right on their butts in front of everyone. The crowd gasped and someone tittered as the girls tried to get up, but couldn't. Tay saw this as an opportunity to release the banner. Above the girls head fell the banner, which read: "www.ifarted.com presents: 3-D!" The crowd couldn't help it, they burst out laughing at the banner. The girls, who had managed to get up, looked behind them and saw the banner. Their jaws dropped as they read it. The music had started and they ignored the banner and began to dance, while slidding around and trying to breathe in their too-tight costumes. But another surprise met them when it came time for Tracie's voice to come over the speaker. Her voice wasn't there. The track didn't have their vocals on it! They couldn't lipsync! They started to panice and decided to just try to sing and dance at the same time. It was pathetic. They were so out of shape and bloated from dinner, not to mention their clothes were too tight that they sounded off-key and breathless as they worked their way through the song. At one point, Tracie slipped again and bent over, her butt to the audience. Ike saw his opportunity and let the whoopie cushion rip over the microphone.
"PHHHHLEEEPPPPHHHSSSS," the fart sounded, loud and clear above the music. Tracie looked horrifed as she got up and saw everyone laughing and staring at her. She slipped again and Ike let a smaller one rip.
"PLUUPPT." The audience roared. 3-D tried to continue, but now they had realized that something was very wrong with their costumes: they were coming apart. The side of Mindies shirt started to slowly tear as she was trying to dance and soon the whole back of her shirt had fallen off on the ground. She gasped and quickly grabbed the front of her shirt so she would expose herself. No longer able to dance, she stood on the stage looking helpless. Sylvie was having clothing problems as well. It felt like there was a split in the back of her pants and she was terrified to turn around. Tracie fell down again and much to the crowds delight, another fart exploded over the microphone. Sylvie bent over to help her sister up. To her horror, a loud ripping noise came from her pants and a huge tear appeared, exposing her buttocks to the crowd. They roared. As she was coming back up, Ike let off a stream of small little farts, leading to the grand finale fart.
Mindie tried to run off stage, only to slip on the butter and fall to the ground (causing another fart from Ike). She stood up and had forgotton that her shirt wasn't attached to her body anymore. She flashed the audience and tons of camera flashes went off. She screamed and tried to run off stage. Sylvie followed her, along with Tracie but they were stopped by four pounds of baked beans falling from the sky, courtesy of Taylor letting the beans fall from the strings. The girls slipped on the beans and all fell in a heap on top of each other, sending out a stream of big and little farts from the "Fart in a Can." The lights remained on 3-D on the stage and the music stopped.
"This has been www.ifarted.com's presentation of 3-D. We hope you have enjoyed it," said Ike over the microphone. The crowd burst into cheers and laughter as 3-D got off the stage finally and ran to the dressing rooms.
Taylor's voice came over the walkie-talkies. "Mission accomplished, gentlemen. Good work. Now let's get the heck out of here!"
The Hanson brothers ran for the El Camino and peeled away, lauging uncontrollably.