Is it a man? Is it a friend? It’s Casey’s Wooden Friend!

Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was travelling through the woodland and night and was quite scared. This would be noted in his diary. The trouble is, instead of writing 'afraid', he wrote 'alfred'. A mistake which meant he had wrote his own name!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was on a day trip to the big city, when he saw auditions were taking place at the BBZ's studios. He tried as hard as he could, but was discredited by the top 'brass' as being too 'wooden'!!!!


Casey's Wooden friend, 'Alfred' had invented a new pasty cream, dubbed 'fresh fish cream'. Although the general public may enjoy it, surely a woodworm ointment would suit him better in the long run!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend 'Alfred' had followed his dreams and had gotten himself a job at an electronics company, fitting cables and leads to television sets. The trouble was - it wasn't 'Leads' he needed - it was 'Leaves'!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was suffering from an ichy scalp. This had been going on for good few days now, and he would soon find out why - he had lice. Or were they 'Woodlice'?!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was walking the streets of Mulhatten one night, when he was asked for an autograph by a boy. An hour later he realsied what head happened : he had been mistaken for 'Woody Harrelson'!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred', was in a bus queue one sunny day when he heard someone talking about interesting names. He immediately did a survey of people's names at the bus stop and by coincidence they were all named Frederick. Whilst they were all named Fred (all Fred), he was called Alfred!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was fed up with oil and varnish for dinner, and so one day decided to try some soup for lunch. At first it burned his wooden face, but in conclusion he thought it was 'Souperb!'


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had a new job at the DEFRA offices in the City of London. He searched for the building all morning but couldn't find it. Then he realised his mistake - he hadn't been looking for DEFRA - he had been searching for the DERFLA building - his wooden name wrote backwards!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had heard rumours of a secret tash of gold underneath the restaurant. One night he broke in and in the darkness stumbled into the freezer. Instead of finding 'gold', he found 'cold'.


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had taken a caravaning holiday and was enjoying the stay very much - the only problem was that he kept hearing sheepy sounds - "Baa baa" and the like. This went on for days, but there was not a Ram or Ewe in sight... and then he realised! This was not a caravan at all - it was a ca'RAM'van!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had taken a wrong turn and entered a dangerous region of town that he was unfamiliar with. A week later and he was safe at home, but the incident had left him rather 'unhinged'


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was having a day out at the town and country show. He had seen squealing pigs and kneeling pigs. There were many different activities and he had had a fun day. On his way out, he heard a high level of cheering. Upon investigating where it was emanating from, he found the annual town and country 'rodeo'!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had visited the island of Gugu before and had looked forward to swimming in it's clear waters. This time however, it was different. The water contained too much 'Plank'ton!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was at home one day when he got a letter addressed to Horace. Assuming a mistake had been made, he dismissed this. Two days later, he noticed several naked women running over his lawn. Then he realised : It wasn't a letter to 'Horace' - it was notification of a 'Whore-race'!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was enjoying his new position in the army. At first when he heard that there would be a drill sergeant he was a little scared but he needn't have worried. Time went by and he was visiting his friends during a week off. "How is life in the army?" asked Anthony. "I was worried to begin with, but it's really not so bad!"


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had just seen a strange looking fellow on the bus and was eager to get home, away from this potential madman. He got home from work in a hurry and accidentally tripped on his own front path. He landed with a bump, so he went to bed early and read the news paper. The paper it warned of an escaped madman... A dangerous psychopath... The next morning he cautiously left his house for the bus stop and tripped over again. It wasn't a psychopath he should be scared of - it was his own psycho path! Damn thing kept making him trip!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had been to the pet shop and had bought a dog. The relationship between the wooden man and the beast was hardly perfect and was not the 'mans best friend' that it should have been. To redress the balance, Alfred replaced the dog's blood with sap, which drove it crazy and covered it's fur in old tree bark. Although it was passable for a wooden dog, it's 'bark' was worse than it's bite!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had been creating for himself a wooden car that would allow him to at last leave the boundaries of Mulhatten town. It was a fine 'car', and he was a fine 'car'penter!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was mongering around one Saturday afternoon when he saw a thief steal from an open window. The burglar took a giant pot of money and ran for the hills. Alfred followed the man and after two hours was so bored with following that he went home. The man had stolen some money, but as far as Alfred was concerned - it was the afternoon that had been stolen from him! What a waste of time!!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had gotten his dream job of working at the circus - the trouble was it wasn't his dream job really... he'd much rather be working in a pillow factory. The big 'sap'!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had won a ticket to meet his favourite cartoon character 'Bugs Rifle' in the person. He awaited in the foyer of the companies offices but no-one arrived. Not a sniff of Bugs Rifle. Then he realised that this was the Mulhatten offices of the company ; He was meant to be at the London 'branch'!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was feeling lucky. It was time for a bet - a flutter is you will. He picked up some cash and set off to the bingo hall. 'In this lottery of life, you should always take a chance' thought Alfred - a positive thought that made him glad. He got to his destination and walked inside. This was a damned wood mill - not the Bingo hall. He was in danger here and he knew it! Instead of a 'Lottery', he had found a 'Loggery'!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had seen something on that fateful night but he had also been seen. He was threatened to secrecy. If he told the law one word of what he had seen, he 'wood' be for the 'chop'. He must keep the 'seed'cret to himself!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had gotten a new neighbour. Named Horse-shoe Madwoman, she was quite a nutter - insane even. Every now and then Alfred would hear a bang coming from her house. Investigating what the source of the bang was he discovered the 'root' of the problem - she was hitting the wall - With a giant hammer!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had noticed a strange nectar building up around his joints. He suspected it was sap, but it smelled just like 'tree'cle!


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' had been having trouble from nesting birds trying to land on his body - some had even pecked him. A shop he had recently been in had the solution, but it didn't come cheap. It would mean spending his 'nest-egg'.


Casey's wooden friend, 'Alfred' was sitting on his veranda with his dog 'Ponyman' reminscing back to his childhood when he was nothing more than a puppet, letting others pull his strings. He was given 'Ponyman' by a dear friend. They were nothing but puppet and puppy.