Jokes : As good as they get!
Welcome to the home of fantastic - style jokes for young and old, fat and thin, brick mortar and wood - all are welcome, especially me who made this, so if you want to do anything about me looking at this - go ahead and try!
A man was doing his painting, when some paint dripped upon his dog. He went out and bought a dog jacket to cover the dog, and put it on the dog as soon as he got back. he said:
"Ha! Now it has a coat of cloth, a coat of paint and a coat of fur - what ever next? Ha Ha Ha!"
A man went to a fancy dressed party, partly dressed as a pipe. By the end of the evening, he had had a few drinks and was dripping with sweat - he was piping hot!
A tea - pot turned up on my door step the other day - he had come to fill his pot with tea, so I let him - the only problem was that he was allergic to my kind of tea!
Two builders were working hard at the building site, trying to finish their work before the dead line. One of them says to the other one -
"Hey mate - go back to the depot and get some more bricks!"
Danno walks into a shop and asks for a bag of eggs. The shop owner then walks around the back and Danno hears strange noises coming from another room. A minute later, the shop keeper returns with a full bag of eggs.
"What took so long?" asked Danno. Before the shop keeper could asnwer, he dies.
Knock knock
Who's there
Knock knock
Knock Knock who?
Bob of course!
A dog walks into a bar and asks for a packet of bones. The bar tender returns him a funny look and replies
"Who do you think I am? A Pet shop!"
A doctor was busy at work, amputating a man's forehead, when he realised that he had forgotton to sterilize his hands. As far as the patient knew, they were not hands at all, but giant snakes!
Why did the builder carry a sink about with him? So he could wash his bricks!
What do you call a little monkey? Gorilla Face!
What do you call a pirate that lives in a horse? Pony of the seas!
What do you call a man who lives in a Guitar? The Saturday Singer!
What do you call a man who lives in the ocean? Fish man of the 7 seas!
A dust man was just doing his job, when suddenly the sack of trash he was holding began to wriggle. The strength of what ever was inside the bag grew, until the trashman was being dragged down the street. He was dragged through a park and toward the beach. As the bag dragged him into the water, he ripped off the bag and revealed what was inside - a P&O European Ferry!