tuesday.november.6.2001.25 past 10 am.

i am in ohio. i've been here since last saturday night/sunday morning. my really awesome friend who took the trip with me (it only took 13 hours, because we took the shortest route according to mapquest, since i didn't take any of my furniture and about half of my other stuff with me, i didn't have to pull a trailer and could go through the berkshire mountains.) left last monday. we said some nice goodbyes at the bus station. see how really awesome he is? not only did he drive 13 hours with me out here (and put up with my lack of standard transmission driving skillz), but he took a 22 hour long bus ride back home. he reported that his trip wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, but he could have done without the 20-something "smelly" amish people that jumped on the bus in cleveland. i could see how that might suck.

and i'm working. two jobs, actually. here i am at my first day in my 9 to 5-er, and i've already installed both AIM and yahoo messenger, and started to update this kinda neglected website. it's only 10:30, too. my other job is at a gym. i'm hoping this will be added motivation to get in shape. i figure if being around people who work out all the time, having a free membership to a gym that's only ten minutes away, and really having nothing else to do doesn't get my ass in gear, nothing will. and trust me, i need it. lately i've been doing a lot of fast food eating, and yeah, me and my roommate went to the store specifically to buy junk food for the world series. (which the YANKEES LOST, by the way) woohoo!

keeping any homesickness i might feel at bay, my ex-boyfriend is giving me a shitload of grief. i could say thank you for that, but i don't think that's in order. i mean, i do appreciate not feeling homesick, but i don't know if i prefer the absolute feeling of ick i get whenever he expresses his ever so flattering opinions of me and the choices i've made to me without filter. i'm pretty tired of this rollercoaster we've got goin on. it's like that nursery rhyme my entire family liked to say epitomized me: when we're good, we're very very good, but when we're bad, we're awful. i'm through with this kind of drama. no more crazy for me, thanks. i've had my share of insane relationships, and i'm not looking forward to another.

i'd like to say i'm just through with men, and move to women for a while, so i'll at least have busy friday nights, but there's two major things wrong with that: 1. i'm not attracted to women and 2. women are just as fucked up as men when it comes to relationships, if not worse. maybe soon i'll be able to chalk it up to extremely bad relationship luck. maybe i'll realize i went out with a bunch of psychos before and learn how to pick them out of a crowd before subjecting myself to further emotional distress by dating another of their kind. maybe i'll just grow old alone and be that lady at the end of the street with untrimmed hedges and 90,000 cats, who gets meals on wheels delivered cause i never leave the house, and all the kids in the neghborhood will get dared to ring my doorbell and run before i limp to the door and wave my cane in anger when i realize there's no visitor for me on the other side, in a run-on sentence kind of way.

or maybe, just maybe, i'll actually get over all of the crap i've gone through since 19-fuckin-98 when it comes to relationships. the thing is, i know i'm young, i know i have a long way to go when it comes to this shit. i know i've only seen the tip of the iceberg. and this, my friends, is what absolutely scares the ever loving shit out of me.

i always seem to end on such a happy note. let's change that up a bit, shall we?

THE YANKEES LOST THE WORLD SERIES! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY! sit the fuck DOWN, paul o'neill, you're done, you wimpy bitch! no soup for you, derek "i swallow" jeter, come back one year. chuck knoblock, i have just one question for you: why do you look like a constipated leprochaun every time you get up to bat? scott brosious, i'd like to peronally extend my thanks for being the most overrated piece of shit in professional sports...thanks especially for blowing that double play in game 6, i bet the FIFTEEN runs that scored against your shit-eatin team in that game felt like salt on an open wound. it's all your fault. jorge posada, i won't say anything to you because i'm sure it's hell enough to have to go through life looking like 'splinter' from the teenage mutant ninja turtles, and you're so not even close to as cool as he is. and lastly, my favorite yankee, roger clemens...i only wish that you broke your ankle on that play at first you errored on, or better yet, got hit off the head by a schilling fastball. my favorite scenario though, would have been to see you get bryce florie-d. yes, you're that much of a candy-ass bastard. i would want to see you to get hit in the face by a line drive. go tend to your hamstring or your blister or whatever it is that made you lose this time, you pathetic little girl.

the yankees lost the ws! this can mean only one thing, baby...whose turn is it to win? whose is it? huh? HUH? whose? THE RED SOX! helllllll fuckin' yeeah.