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Hidden Things

I was watching the Simpsons one day, and noticed a list scroll by while the family was watching TV. I have taken the time (wasted the time, if you will) to find out just what it said.
Here is what I found on Episode 2F06: Homer Badman (The one where Homer is accused of sexually harassing his babysitter, when he was just innocently taking a Gummi Venus Di Milo off her butt). This was a list of retractions from the show "Rock Bottom":

• the People's Choice Awards is America's greatest honor.
• Styrofoam is not made from kittens.
• The U.F.O. was a paper plate.
• The nerds on the Internet are not geeks.
• The word "cheese" is not funny in and of itself.
• The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod.
• Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam.
• If you are reading this, you have no life.
• Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse.
• The other U.F.O. was an up-side down salad spinner.
• Our universities are not "hotbeds" of anything.
• Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes.
• Our viewers are not pathetic sexless foodtubes.
• Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds.
• The Cheers gang is not a real gang.
• Salt water does not "chase the thirsties away".
• Licking and electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger.
• Cats do not eventually turn into dogs.
• Bullets do not bounce off fat guys.
• Recycling does not deplete the ozone.
• Everything is 10% fruit juice.
• The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream.
• Janet Reno is evil.
• V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline.
• Ted Koppel is a robot.
• Women aren't from Venus and Men aren't from Mars.
• Fleiss does floss
• Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures.
• Bart is bad to the bone.
• Godfrey Jones' wife is cheating on him. [Godfrey Jones is the host of this tabloid show]
• The Beatles haven't reunited to enter kickboxing competitions.
• The "bug" on your TV screen can see into your home.
• Everyone on TV is better than you.
• The people who are writing this have no life.

I hope to find more as I watch the episodes off of tape. I know there is a list of celebraties who were arrested in episode 2F15: Lisa's Wedding, and I think there's another one in a Halloween Special, so I'll post them as I find them!

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