bra viiiii simo!

Happiness Is........... A Warm Cup Of Coffee
TO GO TO THE LATEST ENTRY, click here

UPDATE: MAY 25TH, GOT THE MESSAGE TONIGHT TO END THIS PAGE. WILL START A NEW ONE TONIGHT, "OPEN THE DOOR TO THE LUMINOUS VEHICLE"

IMPORTANT INFO ON THE PLANETARY ALIGNMENT OF MAY 17TH 2000,(click here)

The sporadic and/or regular musings and reflections of 3singingeagles, from May 4th-? whenever I feel it's time to start a new page!

OBLIGATORY WARNING:
These REFLECTIONS are, basically, my daily diary.... though I do write a lot in my spiral books throughout the day, so you haven't been getting EVERYTHING I'm thinking and/or feeling by a LONG SHOT, I DO NOT edit these, and I use strong language and graphic descriptions that can be disturbing to many folks.

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE FOLKS, DO NOT READ THESE THOUGHTS ON THIS PAGE, BECAUSE YOU WILL SURELY BE OFFENDED IN NO TIME !

Love, 3singingeagles :)

May 5th

I'm getting less easily hurt, not as easily offended, but nothing can do it like when I do volunteer work.

I don't know, guess it's just that I have this attitude left over from the mainland (even though I've lived in Maui for over a decade now) that volunteers are to be treated almost like Holy People, revered, almost worshipped. Showered with gifts and accolades. Given awards and food.

"I've got to praise you like I should"

Two days ago, I had brought my camera to "The Breakfast Club" where I help the young, sweet people of Makawao elementary school with reading and homework in the morning. Those who read must read for 20 minutes. I start at 6:50- 7 AM. Robert had come in right away. The "head" of the breakfast club didn't come in till round 7:15..... I was the only one there and had quite a large group. She "took" a couple of the kids to her table. Okay, no problem of course (okay it bugged me a little or I wouldn't be mentioning it) (well, more were coming in, and I was in the middle of stories with many of them, jeez) but then, almost 15 minutes after she comes in, I had given Robert the camera to take some pictures

Oh, did I mention I was taking the pictures so I could make a poster for the breakfast club to drum up volunteers next year?

And she interrupts what she's doing at the other table, turns around, and scolds Robert (and, of course, BY ASSOCIATION, me) to "Get back to work and stop playing with the camera".

FUCKER! I'm DOING THIS FOR HER FUCKING BREAKFAST CLUB, what is the Godamned deal here? Idiot.

So, It's approaching 5 AM, I'm goin up there in a coupla hours, and will have to say something to her about it, and not just cause I have a BIG ASS RESENTMENT ABOUT IT but also because I want future volunteers to not be minimized and/or made small by her.

Political Science class really affected me. Think I'm more ready to SHOUT SHOUT LET IT ALL OUT THESE ARE THE THINGS I CAN DO WITHOUT speak up when I feel something is unfair rather than stuff it.

One can dream.

More later, loved ones,
Sincerely,
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Grady  :)

 Really May 5th (morning pages online, written during first cup of coffee.... warning, may ramble and make no sense at times but are real)

Yeah, you know you're challenged by life when.........

well, there's a lot of good signs. One is when you don't know the date. Also a sign of concussion. Hum.

Metaphorically, life events that send you into this kinda space ARE like concussions......... concussions of the soul. Da blow to da soul! OH yeah! Your soul had gitten whacked, huh yeah?

On Sunday, when I found out that Doug had flipped out over there in Texas, that CPS had taken him out of the house, when I called my kids and they were alone in the house cause "Judy" who they're staying with and whom I've never met works with dad and by the way used to go to school with dad and then it became clear that Judy was the one who wrote the letters to Doug that he hid then lied about that had originally caused me to decide I was no longer real happy in this marriage (like THAT hadn't begun on our wedding night, when the Loving Doug who worshipped me and couldn't get enough of me and was so proud to be with me- the famous talented TV star, DJ, MC, that "every guy on his crew up at Cornell wanted to sleep with and/or was in love with" turned into the beast from swamp 92-7)

Shit, how long ago did this happen? WHY didn't they tell me about it? Why didn't the kids or this Judy woman or ANYBODY tell the authorities that they had A FUCKIN FAMILY OVER HERE, a mother for instance? Alive? Gramma and auntie? Hello! Was it because Doug was afraid that the court records of what he did before, over here, would come out, and this time they wouldn't let him off the way they did last time?

Oh, he's gonna be in so much trouble. Shit. And of course, I still love him (for the regular followers of this, you know, but for the newbies..... I don't fall out of love. Once I love you I always do no matter what. It's a curse I have.)

Update:
I'm sitting here at College wondering what the fuck is wrong with a world that could so mistreat someone as beautiful as me. Went to Breakfast club to volunteer this morning and the door was locked and noone showed up to unlock it, I waited with nothing to do from 6:45 till 7:15. Fuck. Waste of gas and time. On top of that, "my" daughter, Michaela, came up to me and hugged me, but then went to another table to eat. I asked her if she wanted me to sit with her and she said no. I left, brokenhearted and really wanting to just go home and give up all my plans for the day, but I had some recyclables in the car so I dropped them off and Bill was hitching on the side of the road. On the way to town. Okay, at least get gas and exchange the case of vanilla rice dream they gave you instead of the plain which you had requested, in Pa'ia where he's going, then you can give up. Seeing him reminded me of the night he threw a silent hissy fit and left the dinner table cause a bunch of us were telling dirty jokes and he was offended (even though he had no problem sexually touching me barely five minutes after we really met, hello) and even though we had a date that night he just left me alone in Christian's kitchen, never coming back out, and there was a violent wind and rain storm that would have been extremely dangerous to drive in and I had no blanket or bed and had to huddle on the window ledge/bench freezing shivering and crying. He mentioned at one point that Christian's good-bye party was great and described it in detail. I told him how extremely hurt I was when I heard that the party had happened and no one called to invite me, yet speaking it didn't release it the way it normally does and I was now feeling EXTREMELY seriously depressed. Stopped at the gas station, let him off, got gas. Stood for almost 10 minutes to pay for it, there were two cashiers, no other customers in the entire store, and I had to pee really bad. It was as if I was invisible or something. One of them was rearranging money so the bills all faced the same way, only 2 1/2 feet away from me. Finally I said "excuse me" in the tiny voice (can you tell I was already feeling really really small), and paid, she nearly threw my change at me. Wow. Wow. Well, then I went to the bathroom that I always have used, for many many years, and which has a sign on the door saying that customers should wait on this side of the door if they wish to use the bathroom and someone else is in there---- this strongly implies that customers may use the rest room. Well, I got out and the OTHER cashier (non money messer and thrower) said: "Uh, EXCUSE me, that is NOT  a public rest room, you have to ASK before you use it" and when I told her that I had been coming here for years and had never had to ask before, and that the sign on the door clearly stated that customers may use it and had no mention of asking, she proceeded to attack me (verbally. Rather have a fist. My soul is now SERIOUSLY hurting) and I go out in midstream of her rantings, turn and walk away as QUICK AS I POSSIBLY COULD and head to town, figuring I ought to at least check my e-mail, get some rolling papers, and go to the Circuit court office and fill out the paperwork to get my fine commuted to community service (80 $ for no inspection and missing court date which was written so that the 1 looked like a 2 and I thought it was the 28th not the 18th). Just about now I was thinking I ought to use the last little change I got left to get drunk as soon as possible, but I think: wait, maybe the day will turn around. This is the day of the big conjunction right on top of the most powerful configuration in my "house of the healer" in my natal chart. This may just be the bad spirits trying to make me fall from my good path just when my power is greatest. I get to the place, ask for the form, she tells me a contradictory statement, that I can't just fill out the form, I have to go to court, and I have to "post" the 80 dollars until the community service is done. Her supervisor comes over and tells her I don't need to go to court as long as I'm pleading guilty. She tells me to go to another window. 15-20 minutes later, SHE appears at this other window (now, what the fuck was THAT about, are people into petty power trips OR WHAT) and asks me which of two dates would work for me for going to court! Well, since I go to training this week for the census, should I get assigned no date is good for 4-6 weeks, and the interest on the ticket keeps accruing, so it was all a big fucking waste of my time, including the near hour I spent on the phone chasing down the right office and then being put on hold a lot by the clerks back on the 28th when I found out that a one could look like a 2. Oh, did I mention I stopped at Longs after 8 and they were still not open, though they were supposed to be? Well, when I got to the college I went to the bookstore and it was after 8:30 and they weren't open though they were supposed to be. HAS SHE HAD ENOUGH YET? No, cause I checked my e-mail and only had one new note and it was strange and cold from someone I thought was a good kind and loving person. Here's the song from Hair, appropriate right about now:

Just spent a half hour searching for the lyrics to "easy to be hard" which I've never had a problem finding before and couldn't find them. I hate my life. I am going home. I'm bitter enough to really finish up the play I'm writing where the main character is a bitter cynical old lady who hates the play Othello. Home. Maybe kill myself later. Have to at least proofread and then edit (finish) this play first, and I think she needs more of an edge before I hand it in.

Bye.

Am the only lady, only love, of so very many men. Wow. why oh why oh why do I still feel "so singularly alone".

People come to me, seek me, for advice. So why do I feel confused by this,
As if- "hey, I'm groping in the dark as much as you are, can't you see that?"

I keep moving, one foot in front of the other, even when I feel it's really quite impossible for me to continue.
 

"I" wrote a song last night ( quotations because I truly perceive myself as an instrument, I really don't know where most of this writing comes from, mostly I read this stuff later and am surprised as if reading it for the first time as well) that told the whole story of "Hope For The Flowers" by Trina Paulis. If you've never read this, I grieve for you (strongly encourage you to). Didn't write the song down, composed it freestyle..... but will probably scribe the bulk of it later. Would be good to get a tape recorder now and record these songs, time to ge m career underway. Somehow just realized today that if there are still volunteer spots left at the Maui writer conference, I could conceivably volunteer and go there. Hum. Hum hum hum. Well.

Definitely need to get Ayla back here. It was really really good that Doug fucked up again, now there will be no denial in the family and the threat of having them taken away from me is no longer that sword hangin over my head. No matter how you slice it, even if I was not cured (which I am) and I was still an alcoholic, a drunk parent is way better than a child molester any day. Ayla is the one who will be the next medicine woman in the family, it was very good medicine that she could do this. Now we are forever disconnected from Doug. Now everyone knows that Mira was not lying. There's no even small shadow in anyone's mind that Doug didi this to the girls all those years ago, no one will be able to accuse me ere' again of making the girls lie and make these things up so I could be with Ka'aumuali'i (which was stupid anyway, since I was already with him at that point, both he and Doug, and both of them were fine with it). Thank you, Ayla, for being the brave one. You are a medicine woman. I am so proud of you. Come back, sweet beautiful daughter of mine. Perhaps you can come to the writers conference with me. I love you. Come home.

It will be rather comical to see what the future holds now, since I gave away almost every single thing I owned, thinking we had this fully set up household in Texas..... haha, buddhistic? Reading The way of the Shambala/sacred warrior now. Hum. Well, perhaps my 3 days of census training will turn into a job, then I can replace the stuff if I really choose, though, God, simplicity is SO VERY GOOD, I have been QUITE enjoying this!

That's enough for now, gonna try n' get online through this MSN account thing that Wizard Bob signed up for. Love to you,
3singingeagles :)

May 9th, 2000

The first morning of FREEDOM for the summer at least, (well till the kids come home) (there IS the boring, or at least allegedly boring, census training this week) (what is true freedom, anyway) since......

LAST FINAL WAS YESTERDAY!

YAhoo! (a good search engine, a place for free home pages, and the sound we'all were makin to each other on campus yesterday)

Yet, I get home and it's not peaceful. Still haven't found a place that's peaceful and comfortable enough to park my children. What shall I do when they return?

If? Yes, I've thought of that. It should not be an option, but now I know how strong and righteous AND humble I am, so if I get any resistance to gettin em' back here, I can deal with it effectively and well, detached from the results. I do believe if all my children, grandchildren, family, were taken from me at this moment, it would be okay. I'm not sure if it's surrender or peace, but it's here. In some place inside me, I don't give a fuck.

Till the morrow, loves,
3singingeagles

I'm not sure what day it is but I think it's May 10th, 2000...........

Well, just need to finish the one act play "Why I Hate Othello", send a few more things to Josh, and I'm all "PAU" (done) for this semester.

I'm not pregnant with a baby. It's not medically possible for me to get pregnant, but things heal, miracles happen, ever since Duke and I held each other and merged and formed an Aku stronger even than the one with Ka'aumuali'i and I, I have felt as if I was pregnant. Started getting nauseous during the Earth Day Kidcast stuff, later that day. Have felt a hard ball of power in my solar plexus, sometimes it burns. Today I finally went to the clinic and of course the pregnancy test showed up negative. I feel Duke thinking of me, almost thought I'd see him when I was in "Happy Valley" (not the happiest place on Maui, believe me) going to "The Census Training That Never Happened". Want to write much to you, but feel I must go to Baldwin and lay in the sand awhile, and go with him where he wants me to go. Was going to physically go to him this weekend, lucky I didn't call him (even though he said I did not ever have to, just PLEASE COME, anytime. Into perpetuity (the land calls my name in a friendly tone, methinks). Well, I did treat The Land like a cherished lover that I had become (WAS ALREADY) relaxed with, I touched and stroked it as I slept close pressed next to it's naked body. I tasted and breathed in it's essence. Petted the plants that have sprung from it as affectionately as cherished children in my arms, laughing.

Aloha till later, sweet loved ones,
3SE's  :)

Cleaned The Wizards house all day yesterday. Still have to send Othello play to Michele, but otherwise..... loose ends are clearing up. Still have little or no clue what's happ'nin with my babies in Texas, could astral travel and enquire, yet it takes so much out of me anymore....

Well, loves, I'm more hungry than inspired right now. Mo' laytuh,
Love,
Mini-me (a.k.a. 3singingeagles  :)  )

 This is my morning pages posing as my diary and so the most honest rantings before I even have time to think about them and/or be hypnotized into thinking I'm a "respectable" (to ANY degree) human being are over

But unfortuneatly the guy I live with is not only awake but he has it in his mind to call someone at this crazy hour (like 630 AM) so I'll have to go.

Maybe I'll update you tonight after the census.

Love ya,
3singingeagles  :)

The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress

Not sure why I must run through the gauntlets of life intense. I have a suspicion that my whole world has fallen to pieces. I have lived a good and loving life, my chief recurring sin being too tenderhearted, "sensitive". Yet of all 3 of my husbands, none are with me. My family does not love me, I see the surprise in peoples eyes when they hear that my mother and sister live on the island, yet I sleep in the leaves and the rain and am hitchhiking and walking when my car is broken. Amazing. Seen through their eyes.
    It may be that I already have lost my children. Do I even want to fight? And my stuff, what's left of it..... though truth be known and gave away and threw away pretty much everything, then the half at Jim's house got torn into by kids and rained on. Some writing books, full, were in there. The folder of stuff I wrote for Craig too- though thankfully that's on disk. It reminds me of Jim Morrison's experience of throwing all his past writings out, at some point.... to "let in the new".

    So, what will be "the new" for me? What is coming? If I lose everything here, do I leave? Maui obviously doesn't want me to go, yet I feel so alone here. Even Bob, who you'd think would be close to me, isn't.... though, you know, there is the part that.....

People have been afraid to touch me ever since that experience with Duke. I must return to the land, to him, if even just to work to say good-bye to Maui, yet, Oh..... if I could live there! I'd be off the grid so until I got a laptop and paid my cell phone bill you wouldn't be hearing from me regular-like, or, even, anymore. But, then again, perhaps only a magician of Dukes caliber can keep them from killing me off. See, I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the prophecies WERE true, yet, even by changing my birth records it didn't keep the really sharp "dark magicians" from finding me and working to end my life.
    This weekend I barely escaped. Went to do tai chi at the Northern Point (Pauwela) by the lighthouse. It's a deeply spiritual place for me. About halfway into it I started getting nauseous. I found out Monday morning when I finally "came to" that they had sprayed the field with fumigant on Saturday! (thanks be to the pineapple lady that woke me up for I had been throwing up for two nights and a day, with only one box of rice dream in the car, and no water), (I may thank Duke too who I know is protecting me) Passed out and dying alone in a field on Mothers day. The timing couldn't be more suspicious.

Yet, my beloved Grandmother, the only one who ever truly loved me unconditionally, said once:

"Good always has the last laugh"

And it has. I have had a complete cellular healing. Wow, my hearing is even restored in my right ear! It hurts a little, it'll take some getting used to....Also, my womb seems to have been healed.... though god knows how much of it I lost in the bushes this weekend, it looks and feels completely different, wise woman time. This is it---- menopause, finally. Wow. In fact, even the tooth I had a cavity in has repaired itself, and it was a big cavity, food was getting stuck in it and I was even eating on that side for the last few weeks it hurt so much every time something got up there. I can only imagine where I went or what spirits were with me during this fateful Mothers day. What else in my body has changed?

I see that my heart line has grown strong and deep, curved down my hand, and is joining with my lifeline.

The moon is a harsh mistress, yet she does reflect light, most nights, she moves our waters here, both tides and in our bodies, and she will not crack no matter how she is bombarded by meteors or for how long.

Anon

May 16th, contd'

How can she be so luminous in
The entreating light she swells, a champion
For all the world would I see her smile,
My own very self.

That I would lick the plate of crumbs and never care for my weird ways if only her soul would feel at peace with itself, even for a day's length
Straight for 24 small hours, peace in the heart, with a quiet settling joy-
No-
Not the many deaths, not dead to the world,
Drunk or sick and passed out for a days length,
No!
ALIVE peace, AWAKE peace,
Is contentment for any legth of time
Not a path of the Spiritual seeker?

Would that it, I should think,

That it would be the opposite surely.
All the great Sages say so, don't they?

Would that I would wish thus for you,
My lady, myself.

 Aloha guys. Morning pages, 6AM, morning of main conjunction (with info)

All of my life is tumbling into power
Mojo is not rising, it seems, but permanently installed.

Maybe both.

Probably both.
 

All of life opens up in your capable hands
Your power and magic is beyond human belief
Everything skewers into One Love
I have left my tender home to go surfing on Light, for hours

Spending so much time outside of your body
(Becomes familiar)
Causes a backlash when you rearrive.

More alive than ever you are.

You go casting precious pearls in the rain
You meditate for hours, aloud
You spend your time talking about peace with various flowers
You

Cast your lot in the dreamtime- with the magicians
Lay in their arms
(Get grabbed by their powerful hands)
You are The Lady now,
The lady of their dreams
The lady making their sack sweat
Uncovered, on mornings,
NOT a succubus
An angel
Awakening everything that they wished that they could be
 

    Resentments leave with the outbreath, as I am now strong and unaffected by other peoples interpretation of me. I know who I am. Rain falls, I leap all around it. Compassion rules every day with an iron hand unsheathed. I look at your bare soul though you don't know it (he thinks) as he comes back over and over to secret read, never signing the guestbook, sometimes openly weeping (though in the private room, alone) he just
KNOWS her skin is impossibly soft for an old
For ANY lady to possess, he's felt
The diamonds though. Some are cracked. They send interesting shards of light, ones he's never seen before and perhaps never will again he wants to grasp them into his trembling hands and feel them press into his flesh, he'll lick the blood just to know that he's alive rather than miss out on it. "Oh my God" he prays, crying, although he is closer to an atheist than to the conservative he professes so greatly and ineptly to be "Oh, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME" (he's now going further in this opportune closeness to a sudden God, foxhole mentality his fear is slipping into
"Lord lord lord lord lord............

There's no help for him anymore
Than but to be lost in the sweetness of her arms
To be forever lost, drowning,
He can no longer stand it,
He must be with her
Unther to Ingraine in intensity, Jack and Rose in playfulness,
Two born-to-be-lovers in fate
Seeing only good
Escaping into each others sweet arms
He's afraid but he knows he must feel, at LEAST once,
The magical powers
She professes not to possess
To be the electrical cord he's felt and seen the charge
But he knows better
She is being over-careful in her humility.

He can't stand another minute of not touching her.
 
 
 

More later....................

The 5-5-2000 Planetary Conjunction and Alleged "Global Disasters" ©, and the 5/17/2000 true line-up, and operating instructions for those earth stewards, spiritual warriors, and/or ordinary holy fools who are interested......
Chicago Research Group and Associates (CRGA),
 18 April 2000. All Rights Reserved.
 Released 1 May 2000
                                              Introduction

 A great deal of speculation and commotion has been going on for the
past 5 weeks or so, on this occasion approaching the dreaded planetary
conjunction on 5-5-2000 researched by Richard Noone some 30 years ago
and published in his book in 1982.  To begin with, it is imperative to
realise that similar planetary conjunctions did occur in the past in the
various constellation houses or zodiacal, astrological signs, as it
were, as early as the records show, circa 1953 BC on 26 February in the
Shian Dynasty in China.  However, of the 8 major conjunctions or
planetary alignments that have occurred in the past 4,000 years or so,
there is no geological or geo-physical record that a major disaster or
  cataclysms occurred on Earth due to this gravitationally augmented
event.  The evidence presented by
  Mr. Noone, while superbly researched, is still anecdotal when using
the evidence of mammals having
  been frozen in situ while grazing upon tropical pasture lands as a
result of a major crustal rotation of
  the outer shell of the Earth.  We know this for a fact from some
records not yet in the public domain,
  that this phenomenon occurred due to a totally different
geological/geophysical phenomenon, which
  we will discuss at a later date, for it is as controversial as the one
presented by Mr. Noone -- in fact it is
  even more so.  Furthermore, so-called Pole Reversal involves a totally
different mechanism not yet
  understood by the standard model of present mainstream geophysics and
astrophysics.

                                      We Must Expand Our Understanding
of Gravitational Energies

  We cannot go into great detail in a short missive such as this one;
however, we will invoke very
  reputable research by no less than the U.S. Naval Observatory at Kit
Peak, Arizona, and the eminent
  Max Planck Institute of Astrophysics in Germany. The planetary
alignment will occur on Friday 5 May
  with Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, with the moon, and will
be in conjunction along a 26°
  arc in the constellations Taurus and Aries.  Twelve (12) days later,
on Wednesday 17 May, these planets
  cluster even more tightly into a 19° arc.  Therefore, if there were to
be gravitational effects of great
  import, this last date would be of even greater significance than the
5 May conjunction.  However, what
  most people -- including the majority of mainstream astrophysicists --
don't realise is that gravitational
  forces and laws do not just involve attraction but also repulsion as
well, a phenomenon not included
  in the analysis of Newton's original Gravitational Field Equations.
Ironically, even Einstein
  overlooked this seemingly innocuous detail, albeit, in his own
equations!   Soviet scientists in the
  1970's and earlier noticed that General Relativity was flawed in terms
of various criteria, and this one --
  involving the gravitational repulsive effect -- was one of them.

                     Nothing Unusual As A Result of the Unusual, But
Common, Planetary Grouping

  Inasmuch as the Cosmos is truly a masterful creation governed by truly
Kosmic Laws of the Divine
  Kosmic Intelligence, it is imperative to have a balancing force in the
gravitational components of the
  interactions occurring between large masses of planetary proportions.
Therefore, the very presence of
  Jupiter and Saturn in this major conjunction introduces the balancing
parameters of gravitational
  push-pull along the lines of the gravitational "waves" in this cluster
of planets, including the Sun, that
  are conjunct in the "houses" of Taurus and Aries in May 2000.
Consequently, without going into
  rigourous astrophysical and mathematical analyses of this unusual --
yet common -- astronomical
  event, we venture to predict that nothing unusual is going to happen
as a result of this planetary
  conjunction or "doom scenario".  It has happened before, and it will
happen again on 8 September 2040,
  and we dare say nothing will happen then either -- plain and simple
astrophysics and geological
  history. Just study the history records!

                          Our Binary Star System and Its Radiative
Oscillations A Crucial Factor Today

  However, what no one is talking about, quite unfortunately, is the
real problem we are now facing in
  the astrophysical arena, and that is the 23rd and most active solar
sun spot and flare cycle of our binary
  Sun system, Ra-Horus, occurring now, even as we speak.  We have had
major heliomagnetic and
  helioplasmic activity of considerable magnitude in the past few
months, and the solar flare
  phenomenon is becoming alarmingly precarious as we approach the peak,
sometime this summer.
  The erratic weather patterns, volcanic, seismic and meteorological
phenomena that attend these solar
  phenomena have been noticeably increasing, but no one has been talking
about it, especially the
  government, due to "insecurity reasons"!  Now, we feel the real
"danger", as it were, is not the 5-5-2000
  scenario, but the most unpredictable Solar Flare Events that are about
to attain a dangerous climax soon
  this summer, or later. As a corollary of solar phenomena -- so poorly
understood even to this day -- we
  can anticipate erratic weather patterns, tidal waves, hurricanes,
volcanic and seismic activity and polar
  ice melting or fragmentation from the large ice masses.  In fact, that
has already occurred this year.

  Furthermore, we can also anticipate a heat wave in certain regions
near the tropics or deserts, yet also
  the possibility of a "nuclear winter" globally, should major volcanic
eruptions occur.  We can also
  expect droughts due to too little or too much rain in the "wrong
places", and most likely catastrophic
  crop failures due to soil conditions and geomagnetic factors, due to
the "triggering effect" of the
  heliomagnetic pulsations occurring now in our sun as it undergoes some
"metamorphic change" not
  well understood by the scientific community, and especially world
governments and the military, for
  we also face the possibility of mammoth power failures globally with
attending electromagnetic
  positive and negative pulses.  We remind our friends that an eminent
ex-military intelligence officer,
  Major Ed Dames, had predicted this scenario three or four years ago.
We have monitored his published
  and non-published predictions, and he is so far 85-90% correct in his
predictions.  What is never
  reported by the press is that we have had "near miss" Coronal Mass
Ejecta, CME, that almost touched
  our atmosphere in two instances, and that in at least one instance
there was "Divine Intervention" by
  some pre-eminent civilisation that was able to deflect/neutralise the
plasma ejecta from the Sun that
  was heading towards our atmosphere.  This pre-eminent civilisation and
their amazing space craft
  have been also observed around the 31 Dec 1999 "New Year" celebrations
in various large population
  centres all over the world. [See LE#131 Feb 2000]  There is a great
deal of activity in the solar system that
  is going on now as a result of what is happening to our Binary Sun,
especially this year, and also a great
  deal of extraterrestrial activity is going on on our behalf, possibly
from the Andromedans of M-31
  discussed by Alex Collier and from the Sirius A Group, and also
rumoured, by the Pa'thall themselves.

                                               Our Best Shot:  Global
Meditation with Focused Intent

  Fortunately, there are some groups globally, including the eminent
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, pundits
  Astrologers and Meditators, that are doing Global Meditations and
Rituals to avert natural disasters
  that would cripple the collective spiritual evolution of the planet
and damage or injure the World
  Soul.  We of CRGA salute the Maharishi Group and other groups that
have had the courage to use
  Spiritual Technologies, Consciousness and Focused Intent to create a
harmonious and peaceful
  environment to be in alignment with the needed changes, but not
endeavour to stop the changes, for
  that is utter folly.  Instead, we entreat all our friends and readers
of the Leading Edge International
  Research Journal to participate in the global and collective endeavour
to use Consciousness, Focused
  Intent and request help from the pre-eminent civilisations that are
our space brothers and sisters that
  know we are going through critical times here on Terra, our beloved
Mother Earth.  Recall that the
  Handbook for the New Paradigm instructed the "ground crew" to do,
namely, to ask for help from the
  Great Shining Ones and other Great Civilisations that are monitoring
the changes and planetary
  spiritual evolution here on Terra.  There is no special protocol
needed for this, for indeed this one is an
  individual journey for each one of us.  However, the instructions
given earlier in our missives and the
  Handbook for the New Paradigm do indeed apply here.  Do the best you
can do, for indeed any
  endeavour, no matter how small, if sincere and truthful it will indeed
create amazing results. [Message
  No.17 in the Handbook is quite pertinent in light of this]

                                                       More on the
Planetary Grouping in May 2000

  Finally, a word about the significance and Kosmic implications of the
May 2000 planetary conjunctions
  themselves. In our earlier missives [See Ancient Wisdom and Modern
Physics, and LE#127,128,131) we
  discussed some of the metaphysical - spiritual implications of the
various changes going on today in
  this millennium, especially in the past 50 years or so from the
perspective of Ancient Wisdom, the
  ancient Hermetic Gnosis and in light of the so-called Kosmic Grand
Scheme of Totality.  To begin with,
  everyone knows by now that world conditions have been changing
dramatically since the advent of the
  New Age, in particular the 1960's and 1970's.  Not only have the
changes been in the political,
  economic, religious and metaphysical arenas, but also in the
geophysical and meteorological realms as
  well. Phenomena such as Global Warming, El Niño, La Niña, Ozone Holes,
Polar Ice melting, etc., have
  been the "buzz words" of the 1980's and 1990's to explain unusual and
new weather patterns and
  phenomena.   Furthermore, the contribution by the HAARP Project has
been another controversy
  introduced in the arena of "weather modification" and "weather
engineering", together with the lesser
  known Tesla Technology known as telegeodynamics (TGD) or the science
of artificially inducing
  earthquakes, seismic movements, perhaps even volcanic eruptions.  By
now, everyone knows that the
  earthquake that occurred in Kobe, Japan in 1997 was artificially
caused by TGD to disturb the economy
  of Japan by the OWO Technocrats.   More recently, the earthquakes in
Turkey in late 1999 were also
  artificially produced to destroy the economy of Turkey, and more
specifically to disturb the production
  of a certain tactical facility near Istanbul from operating, since
than meant disapproval by the OWO
  boys, once again.  In fact, at the writing of this missive, in middle
April 2000, we have had very erratic
  weather conditions in the Midwest and east coast of this country, as
well as abroad.  Is this the effect of
  the solar flare and sunspots, or a combination of that and the HAARP
Project?  We think it is the solar
  phenomenon this time, for the electromagnetic effects have been most
pronounced in the past week
  and will continue past Easter in late April and May.

  [Note: There have been violent storms in the southeastern US recently,
with many flights cancelled
  due to "bad weather", but in fact there is so much electromagnetic
interference from the Sun that it is
  affecting communications and electronics in general, which are
disturbing flight operations in some
  areas].

  The above discussion shows clearly that something very unusual is
going on with our weather and
  that profuse electromagnetic interference is taking place, most likely
from solar phenomena, again, due
  to heliomagnetic and heliogravitational phenomena. Our atmosphere is
intimately dependent on the
  phenomena that occur in the Sun's atmosphere, and , despite the
protestations from mainstream
  astrophysicists, all geological and meteorological effects on Earth
are a result of what goes on in our
  Sun, rather than due to planetary conjunctions and alignments, since
99% of the mass of the solar
  system is contained in the Sun itself.   The 5-5-2000 conjunction
alignment, or truly, a massing of
  planets, has the Earth positioned at the "tail end" of the line, with
the Sun in 4th place from the end in
  the sequence: Earth/Venus/Mercury/Sun/Mars/Jupiter/Saturn.  Now, we
feel that the greatly massive
  Sun will create a "shield effect" from the so-called "gravitational
pull" of the other three planets, Mars,
  Jupiter and Saturn.  Besides, rigourously speaking, the planets are
not in a "straight line" per se, but are
  "off line", as it were, due to the fact that the individual planetary
orbits are slightly tilted out of the
  ecliptic plane; therefore, the force vectors are not co-linear, and
the "gravitational pulls" are attenuated
  by other factors as well.  Add to that the fact that the Sun undergoes
very profound pulsations towards
  and away from the Earth and the other planets, and we have a condition
of micro-gravitational
  pulsations and push-pull effects, even using standard tenets of
orthodox gravitational theory that only
  recognises gravitational "pull" but not the "push". In short, we do
not anticipate any major
  disturbances, field effects or potential effects from the 5-5-2000
alignment, or even the 5-17-2000 closer
  alignment, which is even a "tighter" massing than the former one.  We
very strongly suggest our
  readers and friends refer to a popular astronomical journal available
at news stands for an excellent
  discussion of the 5-5-2000 events, a wonderful educational process,
namely, Sky and Telescope
  magazine [ May 2000 issue] , which also discusses the historical past
events of similar conjunctions and
  alignments.  With this technical introduction, we can now discuss the
more metaphysical aspects and
  implications of this event from a greater perspective.  [See also
other  May 2000 Astronomical Events, S&T]
             Other Conceptual Frameworks for Ongoing Events

  As we mentioned in our earlier missives [see Ancient Wisdom pp.93-94],
the central star of our solar system, the Great RA, is a
  true, living entity, possessing its own intrinsic intelligence,
consciousness and awareness.  Now, this is a very difficult concept to
understand, much less accept, by the average person not initiate din the
ancient Hermetic-Gnostic mysteries, but what is occurring today -- as we
have been maintaining for seven years -- is that our Solar System is
undergoing a most profound
  evolution, and that Intrinsic Intelligence of the Sun is behind these
changes, for our Sun is indeed Pure Consciousness in essence,
  and in its substance appears to be merely a giant star made of plasma
and elemental gases.  Furthermore, there is also a
  Supreme Intelligence overviewing the cosmic and astrophysical events
in our solar system, and this is part of the Scheme of
  Totality in the Evolutionary Process of the the entire universe, which
is but a holographic template of that which is termed
  the Divine Kosmic Spirit and Divine Kosmic Intelligence, the two
expressions of the Great Void, Isness or Great Tao.
  Everything that happens in the universe is not a mere random event,
but a precisely orchestrated sequence of events in the
  evolutionary process orchestrated by the Isness/Tao.  To religious
folks, this equates to the Divine Plan of God that oversees
  the goings-on in the universe; to the scientific folks, these are but
"random events in the cosmos" that are a "continuation of
  the Big Bang", but follow purely random or statistical "laws"; and to
True Initiates, this is the World Soul evolving to a
  greater level of Consciousness and Awareness to fulfill the dictum of
creation, namely, to make known the unknown and to
  evolve through the eight levels of creation, returning to Point Zero
or the Great Mahabindu or Void, the Primal Thought or
  "the Source".

      A Window of Opportunity for Evolving Soul Incarnations

  Now, the event occurring this May 2000 is probably the last "window of
opportunity" for evolving Terrans to align themselves
  with the Cosmos in preparation for the Great Event forthcoming in
2012, which even the Montauk Project foresaw in their
  time travel experiments, but were unable to understand what it will
be, or how it will occur and what the final outcome of
  that event will bring for planet Earth.   Therefore, we strongly urge
our friends to contemplate the metaphysical and spiritual
  implications of this May 2000 "alignment/conjunction", and this can be
done more readily by considering the astrological
  implications of this event.

  Simply put, an "alignment" means that all the influences and
archetypal symbols of the Solar System are in line with each
  other, a sort of synergy or augmented influence.  In other words,
there is an unusual formation in which planet Earth has taken
  the 1st place, Venus 2nd, Mercury 3rd, Sun 4th, Mars 5th, Jupiter 6th,
Saturn 7th.  The ancient archetypal planets are all
  aligned "behind" the Earth, reinforcing their influence upon the
collective psyche of humans on Earth, and since all the
  planetary astrological archetypes, "forces", are "in line" in space,
then "As Above, So Below".

  We can infer that all the archetypes in our psyche are aligned and "in
line", reinforcing each other in our minds and bodies.
  Consequently, this gravitational and electromagnetic synergistic
co-linear effect has a tremendous potential energy and power
  that can be used by those that have knowledge, understanding and
awareness, the qualities of truly spiritual people and
  initiates that have the choice and option of being Masters of Destiny,
namely, their own. This is not a time to "run away in
  fear, panic and great alarm", but a time to contemplate the true
meaning and implications of what is really going on in the
  Cosmos and what to do in order to "align" ourselves with it and flow
in harmony with the TAO, and establish suitable
  Reality Fields and Time Fields in the Space-Time Matrices and Time
Fluxons to secure a suitable ingress point for the
  Paradigm Shift in 2012, for that is indeed the event that will change
conditions on Terra and the Solar System, in general,
  forever.  In a way, this May event is a "blessing from Heaven", as it
were.

  Inasmuch as the sun is in its 23rd and most active Sunspot-Solar Flare
Cycle, ever, and its climax has not yet occurred this
  year, greater solar activity will indeed occur with a greater
intensity from now until the end of the year, perhaps even in
  2001. In fact , it was predicted by Major Ed Dames that the "kill
shot" or major flare with a mammoth CME would occur
  around April or May 2000, and that it could prove fatal to the area of
Earth where this plasma ejecta would come into
  contact.  We mentioned earlier that a "near miss" plasma CME that
would have struck Earth was intercepted by a
  mothership of a pre-eminent civilisation who are, in a way, the
Overlords of the Universe, for they have attained the 7th
  Level of Consciousness, and it is this group that oversees the
Planetary Evolution of all solar systems wherever sentient beings
  are evolving spiritually, psychologically and biologically.  Yes,
folks, these beings do exist!  Now, thanks to the research of
  astrophysicists at the Max Planck Institute in Germany, and most
recently at Stanford University in the United States, it was
  discovered that the Sun undergoes cyclic and very precise
micro-pulsations in different portions of its "quadrants" facing
  Terra.  Furthermore, it was found that different areas of our Sun,
namely, parallel layers plasma deep within the Sun, rotate
  at different angular velocities, once again, at precise time cycles,
like a pulsing "heart", as it were.  This creates sunspots,
  which are magnetic pulses and ionised particles emitted into space
from the surface.

  When these particles, electrons, protons, positrons, etc., reach the
Earth, it creates so-called electromagnetic pulses, EMP,
  which cause havoc, not only in the Earth's atmosphere and ionosphere,
but also disturbs all communications and electronic
  devices, from satellites to computers, telephones, radio, TV and even
battery operated devices.  To the mainstream scientists,
  this is merely an "astrophysical phenomenon", but to True Initiates,
these phenomena are indications that the Sun, which is a live entity
possessing a distinct Consciousness and Intelligence, is indeed
undergoing a metamorphic change or evolution, thus
  affecting the entire solar system, not only at the astrophysical
level, but at the metaphysical, spiritual and psychological
  levels on all sentient beings, including all three kingdoms on Earth
(animal, plant and mineral kingdoms). Surprised?  Yes, we
  have been called "lunatics" for stating that there is consciousness
even in rocks, crystals and minerals.  But, there is.  And, yes,
animals do indeed evolve and they also have spirits and souls.  So do
plants.  After all, if it all comes from God, the Great Isness, the TAO,
then everything is Divine and Alive!

  Therefore, on one level, we are getting electron, proton and photon
fluxes from the Sun whenever a sunspot appears or a flare is
  ejected from its corona, and, yes, these energetic particles can and
do affect the gross aspects of matter if one is directly
  impacted by them.  However, on another level, we are also getting
bombarded by a different group of "subtle" particles, such
  as phonons (acoustic), takyons, deltons and omegons, which are termed
"imaginary" particles -- which means that "they don't
  really exist" -- that are superluminal and supraluminal in nature.  As
such, they do affect our subtle or energetic bodies, our
  consciousness, and even our biological bodies, especially at the
cellular and molecular level, to wit, at the DNA level. The
  activity takes place at the Quantum-Relativistic level of the cell,
where it affects the DNA, RNA, chromosomes, genes and
  telomere units, but only if we are consciously aware of the
phenomenon, and we have the desire, will and intent to "align"
  ourselves with this energetic influx of particums.  This knowledge and
understanding is what the Ancient Hermetic Gnosis
  taught their select True Initiates, and the term "to align yourself
with the Cosmos" means to be in Harmony and Resonance
  with those cyclic astrophysical times where the Quantum-Relativistic
Phenomena are taking place in the central Sun of our
  solar system, for Ra-Horus is our source of Consciousness, Energy and
the vital force of our Solar System.  Therefore, to be "in
  harmony with the TAO" always meant to know when, where, how and why
one should be in certain places, do certain
  spiritual and physical exercises and practices, when to do it based on
astrological events, and how to precisely do it.  Thus,
  the ancient sages and initiates were able to take advantage of these
cyclic astronomical and astrological events in order to
  "evolve spiritually" at the subtle energetic level, or in the subtle
bodies surrounding their physical body (aura), and at the
  physical-biological level as well, for the changes in their dormant
DNA, telomere units and microtubules wherein the water
  and microfilaments became "ordered" caused profound changes in their
psyche, and their "Siddhis" or psychic abilities,
  awareness and their bodies evolved to greater levels of attainment and
function.

  In some instances, initiates attained "Supreme Illumination" and
"Enlightenment -Satori", and in very rare cases they became
  Immortals/Shiens/Buddahs, for not only their minds but their bodies
had been alchemically transmuted, that is, the nuclei of
  the atoms on a molecular level had become "transfixed into Gold", that
is, became unchanging or immortal, outside the
  influence of time or space fluxes.   Thus, Immortality or
Buddahood/Shienhood has a very scientific basis, for it merely means
  that the body physical has been "promoted" in the Quantum Mechanical
sense from "lead" into "gold" by building a "Golden
  Body" from the Prima Materia by means of the Philosophical Mercury or
True Gnosis of the Philosophy and Praxis of
  Alchemy.  It is for this purpose that the Taoist techniques of the
Golden Flower Meditation, Chi Kung and Tai Chi were
  originally conceived by the ancient sages of China. So were Tibetan
and Kundalini Yogas conceived.

  Therefore, this unusual alignment in May 2000 is a great opportunity
for Spiritual Adepts to take the time to "align"
  themselves with the Cosmos/TAO, and "retreat" for a while from the
hustle and bustle of the marketplace, and seek a quiet
  place in nature to meditate, contemplate and to start creating Time
and Reality 6-dimensional Fields to secure a place in the
  New Paradigm and Consciousness that is imminently approaching in 2012,
for this is the favourable time to commence the
  noble endeavour of True Survival and a point of ingress to the New
Consciousness.  After all, it was said that "the meek shall
  inherit the Earth". To be meek is to be humble enough to ask for help
from the God within and, if needed, from those that
  have already attained the status of fully-realised Gods (God-Woman or
God-Man realised).  One of the simplest "manuals"
  to get the necessary information to attain this lofty goal is to avail
oneself of the Handbook for the New Paradigm and do the
  exercises discussed therein. [Note: for a detailed elucidation of
those practices, refer to LE#127 and 128, and for the body of
  knowledge to complement these topics, read and study Ancient Wisdom
and Modern Physics. Also read Message # 17 in the
  Handbook for the New Paradigm
Note:  This is the last page -  Please note that the closest planetary
alignment is May 17, not the 5th, so we have the time to make some very
important choices, embrace them as intentions & release them into
manifestation. The book I mentioned before (Handbook for New Paradigm)
is available to read (free) online at the Leading Edge website & I
encourage you to access that gift...Jer
 

The 5-5-2000 Planetary Conjunction and Alleged "Global Disasters" ©
Chicago Research Group and Associates (CRGA),
18 April 2000. All Rights
Reserved.
 
 

Based on the preceding section, we can expect several things to happen
on planet Earth during this crucial, critical time, not as
  much in the geophysical aspect -- certainly not cataclysmic events --
but more in the psychological and socio-political and
  economic areas, largely motivated by astrological and astrophysical
factors and influences.  Now, we know that As Above, So Below: As
Within, So Without, the ancient Hermetic Dictum does have its scientific
basis due to heliomagnetic,
  helioplasmic, gravitational, electromagnetic and subtle-energetic,
synergistic factors, involving the Sun and the planets, this time the
seven archetypal ones.  Our solar system is a living, organic unit that
is a macroscopic template of the microcosm of
  which we humans are a part of.  On one hand, we have the unenlightened
masses, of which typical examples are world
  leaders, politicians, businessmen, people in places of power and
authority, for they thrive on the 3rd chakra or power centre,
  totally ruled by the altered ego and self-serving interests.  Then, we
have the religious fanatics that always blame the "bad
  things" on "the devil" and the "good things" on God.  These folks mean
well, but are totally dis-empowered, because to them
  God is always outside them, some place "out there" in the sky.  In
this group are included many New Age groups that are
  totally dependent on their "guru", be it a human teacher or channeled
entity, and even though they utter clichés, such as "God
  is within", "We create our own reality", "we are conscious beings" and
"unconditional love erases karma", most of them are
  simply followers, because all their thinking is done for them by the
'guru", and no decisions are ever made without the "gurus"
  advice, lest they "make a mistake" or be ostracised  from the group or
"kicked out" of the group.

  Yet, there are some wonderful New Age and Mystery Schools that are
truly Free-Thinkers and genuine initiates that only
  receive instruction from their teachers, but make all their decisions
and live their lives totally guided by their God and
  Spirit within. This last group is vividly aware of what is going on,
why and how events will unfold, and they are the ones
  doing the Global Mind Linkages, Global Meditations, Astrological
Magickal Rituals to help Terra and Humankind.
  Honourable mention goes to the Maharishi Mehesh Yogi School, which has
been conducting their famous monthly Yagya
  Rituals to create World Peace and Harmony on Earth.   The more
esoteric rituals in this group are conducted by their Pundits,
  and are not in public, but they are most powerful and are concerned
with planetary, astronomical and astrological factors.  We
  of CRGA salute and bow deeply to this Great Teacher and his students
for having been instrumental in creating world peace,
  bringing forth great education to third world countries, and
contributing to the evolution of consciousness of planet Earth.  The
  same consideration is given to the Sathya Sai Baba School in India,
and the Secret Mystery School in Vanarashi, also in
  India, and the most secret Taoist School in China gets our sincere
gratitude for helping us all now.  There are also two
  American Secret Mystery Schools that deserve this honourable mention.
One is on the East Coast and one is one the West
  Coast. We applaud the courage of those initiates.

                                                  How These Influences
May Affect the Human Psyche on Earth

  Since the May influences will have a great effect on the collective
psyche of humans, despite the protestations of astrology
  haters and other materialists, each individual will be affected by the
archetypal astrological influences according to their
  own Spiritual Evolution, knowledge and understanding of what is really
going on at this time.  Therefore, there will be a lot
  of confusion in some camps, and great turmoil in certain parts of the
world where the fear and anxiety will contribute to the
  geological changes that otherwise would not occur, had the
consciousness been greater and wiser.  Historically, wars and
  political conflicts have occurred in the past, in similar
alignments-conjunctions, but nothing major geologically, and this time
  it should be no different.  However, the political arena is fermenting
globally, and in this country, USA, the election years is
  also a leap year, the year of the Metal Dragon. It implies a great
deal of aggressive action, covertly, of course, by those in
  power behind the scenes.  In fact, it is suspected that the OWO
Technocrats will take advantage of this May 2000 "event" to
  create artificial "natural" disasters, but we can once again assume
that this will be in 3rd world countries, for that is part of
  their directive, to minimise population in those "expendable" areas.

  Furthermore, due to election intrigues and deceit, we can expect
massive doses of electromagnetic mind control and behavior
  modification to manipulate the masses to "think a certain way and vote
accordingly". The manipulated escalation of the
  price of petrol was a good example of this covert endeavour.  Always
ask yourself the question - who benefits from this or that
  event? You will then know who, because they always use "natural
disasters" to target expendable populations, often
  worldwide.

  Recently, the attention and tensions have been focused on Asia,
especially North and South Korea, since it seems they are
  becoming "friends", but that will not happen, for behind the scenes,
the OWO boys in alliance with China will use electronic
  mind control to disrupt the process of unification of North and South
Korea.  Same situation with all Asian countries,
  including Taiwan.  Asia needs to be brought under total OWO control
via EMC and perhaps even TGD.  Also, the Technocrats
  may take advantage of the Leonid Comet Showers to introduce their own
engineered viruses, like Ebola, and West Nile virus,
  and blame it on "the meteors".  Clever disinformation.

                                          How To Align Oneself with the
Kosmos During the May 2000 Conjunction

  First of all, become educated, know and understand why and how this
astronomical event is occurring.  The best references
  were given in the above sections. Read and study the Handbook for the
New Paradigm, and do the exercises and
  proclamations as elucidated in LE #127 and 128, for sure.   There are
three main aspects that must be considered as critical
  parameters:

  [A] Emotional factors

  [B] Psychological factors

  [C] Spiritual factors

  This is a time for profound contemplation to assess your own
strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities and your skills and talents,
  for our psyches will be "stirred", as it were, for the purpose of
self-examination and self-contemplation. In fact, seemingly
  "strange" events in our lives will happen: to family, friends,
associates, even pets, for their psyches too are being "pressured"
  into self-knowledge and spiritual evolution, and in some cases,
devolution, for that too is a choice and option.

  Therefore, it is imperative to be vividly aware of these factors, for,
indeed, they already started in the Winter Solstice at
  the Full Moon on 21 December, 1999, and became stronger in the Spring
Equinox 2000.  However, if you are firmly rooted in the
  Formal Spiritual Path, the TAO, and if you have created your Reality
and Time Fields, Time Spirals and Space-Time
  Matrices in 6th dimensional Space Time Continuum, then you are assured
of survival and evolution, for to flow in harmony
  with the Kosmos and Cosmos is first of all, to flow in harmony with
Mother Nature, for She has truly a Great Consciousness
  and Intelligence. We don't exaggerate when we say that if you spit on
the ground, urinate or send a blessing with intent and
  awareness, Mother Nature knows and  feels your action and intent.  Get
it?  There is the ancient dictum that whosoever loves
  Mother Nature/Gaia and "walks the talk" of ecology, conservation and
Love of All Sentient Beings is re-assured of being
  preservable by the Spirit, Soul Devas and Elemental Forces of our
Beloved Mother Earth.  This is indeed a Great Truth!

  As for the practical aspects of what to do now till the "target dates"
of 5 May 2000 and 17 May 2000 arrive, begin living,
  acting and thinking as if you were a truly enlightened master, a wise
being.  Understand that all your thought, consciousness,
  attitudes, "fantasies" and even your words do manifest "out there", in
the "real world". Therefore, monitor, watch carefully,
  and be careful with what you say or do.  The Acoustical Energy Field,
AEF, is a powerful manifestor, and it is linked with
  your thoughts, and, therefore, it does manifest, especially if you
have emotions attached to your thoughts. Remember that it
  was the AEF that was used to create the Universe with the Sacred
Sound, or Great OM.  The legend of the Words of Power,
  Sacred Sounds, Mantras and Bija (Root) Syllables/Words when used in
certain rituals are powerful manifestors -- hence the
  credence to the so-called "Magick Spells", and its modern equivalent,
Prayers/Proclamations/ Affirmations.  In short, "You
  are what you think and what you say", and that is the fact behind the
New Age parlance of "We Create Our Own Reality"
  by our own thoughts, attitudes and expressed words.  However, it is
this very axiom that allows us the option of not only
  creating 6-Dimensional Reality, which does not follow the dictates and
"flaws" of ordinary 3-D or even 5-D Reality, and it is
  outside the realm of ordinary woman/man, but in the realm of
God/Spirit it is an option and a choice!

  How does one create 6-D Reality Fields, Time Fields and Space-Time
Matrices with their own Time Fluxons?  First, by
  knowing that we live in a 5-D world, made of the ordinary 3-D reality
(length, width and height) -- and the other
  relativistic two dimensions, Time and Gravity.  These last two are so
important that a new axiom has created in modern
  times: "Time is Money" and "Watch Your Weight", hence the frantic
endeavours to earn money in the shortest time interval,
  and to enroll in "weight loss"/"fat farm" clinics after porking-out on
Thanksgiving and Christmas, our truly 5-Dimensional
  Un-holiday$.  Get the drift, Earthlings?  Therefore, once you
understand the 5 dimensions that rivet and embed us into the
  ground, to the realm of Gross Matter, then we need to let go of the
Grand Illusion -- delusion, truly -- the Maya (Ignorance)
  that the Physical Body is the Identity of our Being. The body is
merely the Sacred Vehicle that houses our God, Spirit and
  Soul, which are the true ingredients of what we call consciousness,
the brain being merely a transducer of thought, abstract
  concepts, into expressible ideas that come from our own God, Spirit
and Soul. which is around us (subtle bodies, aura,etc), on us
  (Etheric double), and in us (Soul).  In the ancient Hermetic Gnosis,
GOD means Consciousness, Spirit means Energy, and Soul is
  the seat of the emotions.  That is why the ancients were concerned
about "nourishing" the Body and Spirit by balancing the
  Yin-Yang energies by means of Spiritual - Physical exercises, but,
ultimately know that Body and Spirit are truly One.  Hence
  the ancient arts to unify Spirit and Body, or its modern equivalent,
Mind and Body, in the forms of  Tai-Chi, Chi-Kung,
  Ba-Kua, Zen Archery, Tea Ceremony and Taoist and Zen Meditation.

  To create so-called 6-D Reality and Time Fields as well as "Sacred
Space", we need to designate an area, a little corner in our
  home/apartment, to do our meditations with whatever symbols and
imagery awakens your spiritual fervour or passion for
  God, for Life and Yourself, for you are, indeed, the centre of your
Universe - you are your own God-Man or God-Woman
  Becoming. You can use whatever "trappings" you like, if it truly
inspires you, but know that those are merely external and
  powerless objects, be they images, candles, incense, crystals,
crosses, etc.  Just remember that God, Spirit and Soul are always
  Within.  That is an axiom and a Great Truth.  If you are artistically
inclined, you can make a symbol for your Self that
  reminds you of God and Your Divine Nature.  Nothing fancy, no
Michelangelos or DaVinci's, just what you can and want to
  create.  Now that you know what the 5-D of gross matter are, you need
to know what the 6th one is, and that is Consciousness,
  Desire and Focused Intent, for that is the only method and way that
links you to the Source, Primal Thought, the Void, the
  TAO, God -- whatever you call it.

  These three parameters, as it were, constitute forces, energies and
influences which create that which is termed "physics",
  tensor fields, scalar fields, or unified field conditions, for once
you are One with your God/Spirit, you are One with everything
  and you are truly in a state of Unified Consciousness.  This requires
no need of display of emotions, yells, screams or outbursts of
  "Amens" or "Halleluyas".  This is a profound state of reverence,
stillness, tranquility, quietness and absolute silence in which
  you surrender to your God/Spirit, you become totally still and quiet,
shut your mouth totally, and open up your inner eyes, ears
  and senses to any sensations of experiences you may derive therefrom,
Yes, it is fine to pray and proclaim before you start your
  meditations, mostly to convince yourself, but your God/Spirit knows
your True Intent, Innocence and Purity, so no need for
  psychodrama is needed.

  Listen to the Inner Voice.  When you do this simple exercise,
practice, ritual, then you are creating that which is termed
  Sacred or Liminal Space-Time, which has distinct boundaries, as it
were, from the other 5 dimensions of gross matter. This is
  how the saints, mystics and holy women/men entered altered states of
profound absorption, and sometimes glowed, floated in
  space or bi-located.  This is the way to get in touch with the Source,
to become One with the Isness, to align oneself with the
  Cosmos (Physical Spacetime) and the Kosmos (Sacred Universal
non-space, non-time).  Some incredulous and cynic types may
  ask: really, is that all?  Yes, dear friends, that is All!  If you
repeat this exercise daily, who knows, you may also end up
  glowing, bi-locating or ingressing greater dimensions yet.  Advanced
initiates, Buddhist and Taoist monks do exactly that, but
  don't advertise or "show off". All is done in secret for the Love of
God, Humankind and Self.

  So, there, now you know the simple secret of the ancient and modern
True Initiates. Simple? Of course!  If it is complicated,
  complex or too esoteric, then for sure, it is most likely a Dogma
created by some revisionist modern teacher or "guru". Great
  Truth is always simple. The simple Key, of course, is Knowledge,
Understanding and Awareness of this simple Method and
  Way.

  Finally, we close our missive by reminding our readers/friends that at
these pivotal times of great astrophysical, astrological
  and energetic changes, it is imperative to BE and REMAIN in a State of
Joy, Enthusiasm, Peace and Tranquility.  Knowledge
  confers that state to truly interested individuals.  We also remind
you all, once again, to read the "Goodwill Message" by the
  CRGA written by our director, and released in toto in LE #127, pp 17
and 18.  In these volatile times, we all need to be with
  individuals that are kindred spirits in our spiritual and aesthetic
quests, and we need to monitor and overview each other's
  activities and whereabouts as a true act of love, not as "nosey
neighbors", for collective consciousness amongst True Friends is
  truly powerful and synergistic in supporting the individual and the
group.  Some New Age groups are taking this approach,
  and it is not only commendable but very wide indeed to do so.  To
close, remember that the True Path to Spiritual
  Enlightenment is True Joy.  If you have no joy, you're off the path;
get back into it, and see where you went astray!  A good
  symbol for these days is the Laughing Buddah!  Emulate it, but you
don't have to increase your 5 earthly dimensions or
  pork-out on Chinese food!

  Namaste, Hari Om, Blessings and Godspeed to You in All Your Spiritual
Paths. Love and Laughter!

  Mrs. Dr. QQ, Dr. XX, Dr. YY, Dr. ZZ and Dr. DD

  Chicago Research Group and Associates (CRGA)

  18 April 2000, Full Moon

    END
Chapter No. 2

Let us begin on this new day in quest of a new day. The people of your
planet sink further into the morass of depression and suppression. There
is nothing but doom and gloom reported all around them and for lack of a
vision of Light, all appears to be fading into darkness. The focus of
attention to the devils of the dark doings does not resolve the issue.
In order for Light to triumph over darkness there must be a vision of
the Light that
translates into a recognizable reality.

Let us use the birth of the United States as an example. Though we
cannot cover the details, we can look at the process, as it is known.
There were those who came together to envision something that was
different than what was currently being experienced by the planetary
inhabitants. No one person brought forth the vision, it was a composite
of the inspirations that were but pieces of the whole.

This process must be repeated again. There are those who believe that
you should return to what you have had before. Let us say that even that
would not resolve the issues at hand. The "founding fathers" did not
have instant communication, the Internet, exotic surveillance methods,
under and above the sea devices as well as horrendous weapons of
destruction with which to deal. You have allowed these to be created and
though you long to return to a simpler time, you will either tame these
or they will destroy you. You must look past the need to merely survive
the methods of trickery designed to annihilate you and dream what you
would have instead of the chaos of darkness. It is as simple as that.

For as long as you choose to merely withstand and only survive the
onslaughts of the oppressors, you are sinking deeper into the morass.
You will only rise to the top with a new vision. We cannot give you that
vision. The book of Spiritual Laws provides some guidelines, however the
vision must be simple to be
powerful. It must be visual in its simplicity so that the people now
surrounded in darkness can literally be struck with its beauty and feel
called to its simplicity and clarity.

How do you do this? A small group cannot do it alone. A nucleus must
come together and as they begin the process others of vision will be
drawn to it, in fact literally sent. The time for beginning this project
is not at a convenient time later, but now. There is no time to be
wasted if you are to accomplish this. To tarry will only make it more
difficult and bring more suffering to the already oppressed. The window
will close in literally weeks if it is not begun.

I know you are caught up in the process of illuminating the details of
the chaos, but what has that done to stop it? Can you actually see
anything happening to change the speed of the decline? Then you must
change your perspective. Look in the
opposite direction. Are you part of the problem by observing it or can
you become part of the solution by looking for the building blocks of
what you want instead?

Begin in your meditations to ask who would serve well in this project.
This is not an esoteric process for people who are looking to give lip
service and stand on the sidelines and observe. This is for visionary
realists that may never actually observe the extent of the work they do
now until the very end. These people will be
able to look beyond the chaos and recognize the opportunity. I suppose
you might say these are people with one foot in each world, who can look
into both without losing their balance.

 Once you start looking for them you will find them coming into your
experience in what may seem too unusual to be accidental. Meet in 3s, 7s
and 12s. This is the most important step to be taken now. Know that all
help possible will be given on request. Many
ideas will float through, but those of value will take root and the
dream will become real, but first it must be conceived before it can be
born. You need not feel total responsibility for any phase, only for the
initial promotion of the idea.

The hour is desperate and the plans of God hinge upon the people of
service. The awareness of the need for change is well established in the
consciousness of many, now the vision must be planted, that it may
sprout and come to fruition. May your day be blessed with the Love that
is yours, for you are Love in
manifestation. It is your job and your privilege to focus it that God
may stand forth in Freedom and Truth in the experience of his beloved
children.
                                                     ***end***

Sometime in May'
2000

Wow it seems as if my consciousness is LITERALLY skewing off onto another level and direction. Everything that was extremely magical and intense is even moreso now. The relaxation that comes when you throw every living minute of your life into the air like pixie dust, a time with nothing scheduled, and, in fact, every single plan you had made drops out as if someone deleted all your artwork on a screen (in a way where you couldn't even retrieve it from a recycle bin. Yeah. They probably emptied it too while they were foolin around in there) and so "Here's the blank screen, Dolly! What'cha gonna DO with it?"
Shouts at your life and you reply by tilting your head slowly up to the sky, and breathing out in a way that actually passes over your lips, on the way out, in such an extremely incredible way in fact that it is sexually stimulating in the most light but effecting electrical vibrational way. That breath is a swan-dance of extremities and holding back for the sweet tension of it. She
Turns around and leaves when she wants to rush back to the magnets but she knows
She must, right now, for The People,
Go to the place she must, (don't need think, your feet will guide you gentle warrior maiden) tread,
the earth
Craves the touch of those very feet as a lover obsessed aflamed imagines their lovers smell everywhere,
On every in every round every into the secret sacred heart of
Everything.

The fairy dust comes down,
Swirls all around,
Makes a sacred sound brings our
All our hopes and expectations to the ground

Then empty naked nickled bare
Crests and crusts of flowers in our naked windblown hair
Open accounts as souring doves meet
Meet
The open door.

Cows with flowers in between their teeth
Wonder what these silly human fears are for.

May 22nd it seems.....

Havin a lil' trouble getting on line lately, peopbubly well with people using the word love as a weapon (as if like what else is new) but I'll keep you up to it as much as I can.

Morning pages, from notebook, app. 6am this morning was a writ

"So the wheel turns whenever I see clouds, forming, pass by. I look at your closed circuit and realize a fractured sacred dream. I lose all hope along with my soap     on a rope
Cause I came to you.
You kissed the sky for me (truly my love?) Yes. It was easy to navigate around all that.

"Twisted Tales"

(?) 

Somebody claimed an exemption in taxation. Taxation without representation is tyrrany, everybody knows that.

Can you save your life in a completly different format? It would be good to. See them. Clearly now. Tender butter or crabcakes of delight.

Generous portions all alone on my fingers.

Ummmmmmm............

Breaking a basket over her head,
Leaving a trail of light in the sacred sand, posing for memories, seeing sea drifts, opening couched terms loosely restricted by nothing but her own sense of being TOTALLY AND COMPLETLY INSANE.

Who---- will buy----- this bright yell ow morn in? Birds-------- are fly-ing ov-er the waves! Me, oh my- I do not want to lose it. What am I to do? To keep the skies so blue? There must be someone who will buy--------- buy--------- buy!

OH yes!

Next page, "For The Seventh Generation"..... will send it to you when it's up.

No gas money, nowhere to go, I'm at home till one trip to do everything on Friday after May Day performance :)

Wonderful news about "the future generations" by the way. Hum. May we walk in good medicine each and every SECOND of our lives, for to leave good footprints of Light around for them.

A-ho, mitakiyasin. A-ho!

Love,
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose

Like it? Must be why I've waited to change my name all these years. Now that I am disconnected from my past life as a wife, and bridging into this new life of Spiritual Warrioress, I think it's time. I'll be at the beach on Sunday, spend the day with Michaela, then Sunday evening or Monday start a walk

On the King's Road

Camera, writings, a piece of clothing connected to everyone including Nana, small blanket. Go. Sing of the death of the old me. When I reach the center of my journey I will go through the three veils, and, presumably, back again..... and then the journey home will be singing the birth of the new me.

Rose.

The Mother is really coming through, wait till you see how she and the Bindo'meister opened the (new page) report for Joshua. Got a high A on both of them. Had gotten in the habit of doing my reports as homepages, easier to layout than word-processor programs when adding borders, photos, colored text and such.... and had thoughts that someday an "epiphany" would occur regarding editing in and/or understanding HTML language and protocols..........so cool when it happened two nights ago... almost quite suddenly. It is SO COOL to have photos on! Now I can put sounds and stuff! OH yeah! Should I survive the Journey to the other side, I'm gonna have SO MUCH fun, whew!!!!

Aloha oe.

Written this morning, May 24th.... first draft (unedited)

The Tear
 

I wept last night.
In the kitchen I wept.
Was waiting for a baked potato at the time-
I think it actually started in bed a few minutes before that. I was layin in bed, lights off, waiting for the potato. I had just been on the net searchin for The King's Road- but couldn't stay on long, my eyes- and, it seems, brain- were tired.

So I'm cuddled/rolled in a blanket waiting for a potato whose over on the other side of the room in a toaster oven TRYIN   to bake, oh, yes, roll-ie it is, and one little tear formed in the corner of my eye. I didn't even know it till I got up!

When it unexpectedly rolled down from that corner, as I rose from the bed in MY corner, on the floor of the living room, I rose from. There to go check on the baked potato in the little "oven" that was starting to smell good which was a good sign and DOWN IT ROLLED making (what seemed like) an excruciatingly slow journey down and over the mound of my cheek and went a little further on the underside of those nice Cherokee/Viking cheekbones and just felt like stopping there.
 

I felt it with my finger, as if it was foreign, as if it was a visitor from another planet where I had been one of those who had seen a few sci fi flicks but never read any books or short stories in that genre so I wasn't scared or happy or thinking there was some language I ought to be speaking to this foreign unexpected visitor: it was just there, and I was just there, and we stood together in the kitchen.

Finally, I touched it. I couldn't help it! And, as I touched it, and its perfect large oval-tapered-at-one-end shape sucked into my finger, merged and made it not that, there was a pause- for just a second surely (though, truth be known, it seemed more like 3)

And, then the rest of it's clan came to join it in this world. Well, or, perhaps they were "just friends"- though- truth be known- friends can sometimes be more "clan" than family. They rolled out of the caves (my eyes) they had been in- they didn't march, (or saunter perhaps) like the first one- like the Alpha tear- no, they rolled and bounced and cascaded and jumped out- but not loudly like boisterous children

More like adults after an apocalypse, happy to be out in the light again.

Thursday, May 25th?!?
 

Wow everything is spinning but oh lawdie God it's in a quiet sorta fashion. It never ceases to amaze me anymore, the proliferation of little nitzy fears. You can shoot a hole in your foot and still not feel you're alive till you lick the blood off your own shoelaces, quizzical look on your face. Until I decided to really hone my torture-resiliancy training I didn't realize how addicted to sexual pleasure I'd become in such a short time out of my long years of celibacy (except for the occasional visit by my husbands, and one short-lived old man literally). Three methods to deal with extreme pain in a torture situation: 1) The normally used one, detach from the body. Kinda like astral travel. Go outside so you don't feel it. 2)Feel it completly, as the most intense pain.... use each wave to conciously stimulate even more than usual coptious amounts of endomorphines.... and while coming on to the body-heroin, "program" yourself with whatever neccesary hypnotic suggestions, 3) Bend the pain, using alchemical energy techniques, into intense pleasure. Fell your power, alertness, and, general Mojo rising. This is the best technique for getting out of situations and/or turning them around in those little windows. Ready to go out like a Valkyrie into The Great Halls Of Vallhalla.

Whew. More later. Baked potatoe calls. Will there be a tear?

Oh, PS, made only a few changes to "The Tear", will post it on new writings page with smaller print....
https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/Writings.html
sorry for all you guys that loved the big print, it was just getting too full. Might make a page just for "Connections", and'll prob. give GLORIA! her own page, but that's in the future. For now, baked potatoes :)

Love,
The Woman Who Loves Light Refreshments And Frivilous Talk In The Halls Of Vallhalla

Later, the 25th.

This page wants to get retired. Archives #2 (#1 being The Blue Moon Diaries) is gettin WAY FULL so I'm starting an archives #3 with this page when it's retired. I'll keep it up for awhile.

Thanks again, as ever, for stepping over the hot coals and tender curves of this journey with me.

Ever your open, tenderhearted warrior,

3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose
May 25, 2000,
Aloha oe! Malama ke alohi ea!

Reflections (daily diary) of a lune ie lady whose tender heart is open to love, The Fool's quest of light!
 

 Click here to go to the last entry (Father's Day)
 
 

WARNING:
All the opinions here are purely my own, and how much I own them is debatable as well, cause it seems that life and understanding are so rapidly mutable, as soon as I am expressing an opinion it is already changing.....

But, be that as it may, this is how I feel, and if you think that there is one, static truth, none of this will probably resemble THAT in any aspect, so you'll wanna skip this page.

In the bubbling brook of "truths",
Sincerely,
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose

Evening of May 25th

Tomorrow is my little Daughters May Day performance, at her schools celebration. It's a few hours of foliage and flowers, leis and aloha wear, smiles and huggles.

There's a deep sadness clingin kinda loosely on my soul. The weave is loose and quite spectacular. every luminous day is a new event in the cosmic scheme of what-have-you. Now the blurr between the worlds both thickens, in real time, and thins perceptibly in my perception(s)
 

The Heroes Shaft

Seize the day
Hard about the shoulders
Hard about the throat
Seize
All the luminous playmate destinies
Are you afraid
The dead woman is me
A soul dead is tragic
And you'll not see none of that here
So you can move on if what you're wantin to be seein
Is unpurposeful death.

Only to the golden shaft of the heroes way
Do I go............

Amazing. Nothing is without relavance anymore. I'm relaxed into everything, go figguh. Leis and ciggarettes and tender loving care. Fried Chicken brest lunch. Skewered luminescent signatures. Opening cans of beans, the sacred find a way to come homeagain once as it was before and ever more will be, to themselves.

Latuh, lovers, wherever you are.

3SE's  :)

May 27th, Saturday mornin, Hour Of The Wolf Escaping Into The Dawn

Oh, wow, looks like there's gonna be blood in the sunrise. I see a little towards the bottom, earth layin close part   of the horizon

What do I do before I die? Preparing to go off on my final walk starting Tuesday morning (once it's quieted down after the weekend of intense enibriationous picnics in many of the places that I walk) (yeah, the one posing as a holiday) (back in MY drinkin days I'd even celebrate Saint Patrick's day, and he killed not only many Irish themselves, but many of "my" Celtic ancestors- though- true be known- the at the least small percentage of Pictish blood I spect is in there......

Well, the small and swift are uncaptured. 100%. Un.

This is what I would do before I die (What would you do if you only had 10 days left?), I spect, since I'm going to die in only a few days (though I fully expect to come back, they said I would..... though prepare for it as if I'm not) so what does she do

You're looking at some of it. Yes. Write. I've been sitting on my little bed in my corner updating and expanding homepages (Did you check out my photo on front page, taken by Ms. Alohi, she's so much like Ka'aumualii in that way.

Taking the camera, with my MCC ID (if they find me, I want to be identified as the most important thing I have been my whole life, an will, hopefully still, be at the hour of my death, an eternal always open Student, Sannyasin. I'll also have: a tiny bit of cash Tobacco and sage ,and one lighter in the small 2nd pouch where I usually carry battery pack. Have water one small blanket, and Sacred Clothes in very small backpack (token of Elijah, his last schoolbag before he went away to the next part of his destiny, nice Dark blue some suede and netting, leather and netting together? Ummmmmmm. CAN do!

Hum, sex. I'll miss that. What else about life will I miss? The list is so infinite I'd waste precious time I could be using in enjoying it listing the things so forget it. Yet, about the sex thing..... I'm not sure what's going to happen on the other side of this that is if I, ya know, break on through back to this side........ I have come to know that sex is INCREDIBLY amped in pleasure for me now. After over 7 years of Celibacy (not even any self-sex, turned off except by occasional periods of visits by husbands) I've had things happen, such as the absorbing of lightning into my body, gift of re-virginization (and subsequent picking of the flower by Bullwinkle! Teh, go figguh), going through Warrioress training , continuing training/awareness daily till now "magical"/electromagnetic/alchemical energy is literally COURSING through my veins and/or life

Life

Guess tomorrow will be taking care of itself, ey?

NEED-MORE-COFFEE
Having no idea what I just wrote,
Will reread it later just for my own curiosity, but won't edit it of course----- remember my promise------ even if it's all jabberwacky (with apologies to the spirit of Robert Lewis Stevenson, the Poet stillyet takes her earned and paid for, license),

3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose

May....? Memorial Day In America

Hey guys. Ate the last meal before the fast/ pre death cleansing-of-the-soul-diet. Thought it was curry. Though later at the coffee shop was given two BIG hunks of double triple chocolate mousse cake at the coffee shop down'in Kihei town (mini-city) (I think I'll call it..... mini-me, former mayor of Maui Linda Lingle from her office in the other mini-city on the island, Wailuku. Inside Maui Joke Alert:Linda-is-way-pro-developement Maui inside joke) oh boy and treated to a second large coffee can you tell I'm buzzing what

an intresting prelude to

my trip to the
 

Other Side.

Later. my netscape was so old I had to download two upgrades..... incremental but worth it in the end. I have seen Explorer (in fact, it won't leave my desktop, so I'm constantly reminded of it) and I say......

Forget the lawsuits. There's no competition. In every way, Netscape is the best browser. Billy, stick to your cute screensavers icons and games, your browser is a bowser.

Laytuh, sweet ones!

3SE's  :)

Even celibate monks and monkesses get them days I'm like, shurrrrr..... though they probably say something deep and zenesque like "thinking" or some such and breathe the energy out or somesuch and some of us

Dance it out.

God, Peter Gabriel doing "Sledgehammer"! Who canNOT dance, do martial arts strength training within the context of the dance, and get extremely wet and/or hard in the process.... WHO I ask you?!?

"Drink up, dreamers, you're running dry"
                                    -Peter Gabriel, from "Here Comes The Flood"
 

Laytuh  :)

From a letter to my dear friend, Tom.......

"Hello sweetheart. Yes, still alive. Have a place in Haiku. Missing you very much. Perhaps we will see eachother soon.

I was thinking strongly of you as well, because I'm off welfare and pretty much unemployed..... desktop published a few of my writings, At date two poetry collections and one play, with full color covers and nice fonts and layouts.Been selling em for gas money. Eat from the land and occasional hospitality. Life is the adventure.

Can you still sell things through your website? I get $5 per copy, signed, I'm selling all I can print up, currently (It takes HOURS to print with my little BJC bubblejet. Sigh, patience is a virtue, ey?

The files are .dtp, do you have anything you can view .dtp's in? If so, I can send you the copies and/or .jpgs of cover art ("click here to order" bottons?).

Ooooo, ooooo, forgot to tell you that I finally understood HTML language in an epifianic (is that really a word?) (if not, it is now!) moment in time bout a week ago. Even embedded and linked a midi, with good clean sound nice and equalized, so it would automatically play when the page comes up, and continues to play while your there. Think I'm gonna re-code it for a control or even mini-audio player, even though it's a beautiful "Enya" song that was actually not TOO butchered by digitalization, folks should have the choice I guess.

Soz anyway, till I sell some major writings (hoping to go to the Maui Writers Conferance in September and git me an agent) please think of selling these at your site and keeping the profits towards my debt to you for the restoring of my beloved computer, Agape. Perhaps someday I'll be able to accept an award and thank you then too!
"I have to praise you like I should"
. My other business now is "Haiku Leis".... ti-leaf leis with "puka" shells and sometimes large beads threaded and braided in, each comes with their own original Haiku, no two repeated..... but I WILL keep a copy of them and put them in a collection. If you send the tag and a stamped self addressed business size envelope you will get a free copy of whatever Haiku anthology your one ended up in. I will sign it, too :)

These are too complicated to sell over the net at this point, they go for $7 here, they'd have to go for, well, maybe $20 on the net, to cover shipping costs. Hassle. But the books could really sell. I can put links on all my homepages to them, set up special pages for them, with a sample poem from the book read by me (I only have a tiny cheap mike on a dictation-program's headset, but I think I can make it work) all pointing to your site. Sound good?

Well, maybe I'll hear back from you later, I'll be on tonight for quite a while polishing up my site before I leave on my quest tomorrow.

Love ya babes,
         3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose"

Feel like the words have drained out. On to the quest. It is good.

Should I survive, you'll hear from me in a few days,
If not,
Go In Beauty,
3singingeagles......................................................................................................................

"Mommy, When You Get Back From The Kingdom Of The Dead, Can We Go To Kalama Park So I Can Ride My Bike?"
                     -Michaela Alohi, daughter to a Shaman (me)

Well, I couldn't tell you before the nature of my mission/journey because it would have been dangerous, but, basically, I had to die temporarily, and travel to the other side to deliver two messages for all the warrior clans. I was picked as the one warrior of all the clans most qualified to do this. I don't neccesarily see this as an honor or anything, just, we all have our own talents and I happened to have made this journey many times in this lifetime.... so....

Guess that's why it was so easy (to do, not to go through, more later) a breeze in fact, hum. Wonder what that says about the level (s) of "my" conciousness. Curiouser and curiouser.

Took pictures all along the way (not to the Other Side, silly. To the places I went to prepare for the voyage, while fasting). Did some writing too- though mostly notes to flesh out later. I'm makin a whole page of "The Quest/Journey" with sounds, a slide show of the pictures perhaps, and maybe even the short-story/fantasy version I'm writing of it "The Scientist And The Shaman", am called to focus on becoming multi-media savvy web-page design and computer wise, it should be fun for you'all, since the pages will be looking MIGHTY GOOD!

This will be an adventure. I have SO MANY toys in this computer that I haven't played with, it's quite outrageous.

Here I go.

I'm still processing everything, there's a lot of crying and general sadness involved around some of the things I found out, sucess in the mission as the messages were delivered, what will happen now with that I don't know, but it was more like an information collection voyage (at least, that's how it turned out) and The Clans will have a lot to speak about and digest in the coming weeks as a result of the information I recieved. This planet is in more serious trouble than anyone but the seriously insane think at this moment.

Many say The Insane are often The Prophets.

Later, more. For now, I'm back. In fact, I want coffee, which is a good sign that my sea-legs are restored.

3singingeagles

June 3rd....... The Light returns........................
 

Thinking this morning of all "my men". It's been quite a journey going through this brief yet fully taken advantage of time where I could "be a lover" and/or have hot down n' dirty sex..... sometimes VERY down and sometimes EXTREMELY dirty. All these years of celibacy and low-self-esteem (with occasional periods of gross inebriation) had me almost idolizing the guys..... thinking they had it SO TOGETHER, and were ALL THAT, my brief experience with George, the Old-Man-Ex-Rock-Star who I "went out with" (though, truth be known, we never went "out" anywhere, and in that time period I was with him only 5 times)----- well, I had written it off as a fluke that he was such an immature fucker. He was like a petulant little boy.

I want a man..............
This was actually not a fluke. It's hard to admit this, but I know now why I have been so in love with Craig. Okay, well, there's a lot of reasons.......... past life connections and I suspect a sun-moon conjunction in our natal charts (feels a lot like the incurable intense love I have for Bambu Hierophant, and a few others, all have had sun/moon conjunctions with me) but the one of the many that comes into mind this morning is that

He's a fucking grownup. Yeah, I've seen him get complainy, but not in a whiny way, not in a way that causes me to forget my "do no harm" vow and want to CHOKE HIM! Nah. But I've seen his dark side and it scares me. There's more to him than he shows, in fact, he keeps such a tight lid on it that when it explodes out it's way intense

And I seem to cause everything to bubble and percolate out of him. Just IMAGINE if he's been holding inside himself "sexual deviant" thoughts, ones his Father SURELY wouldn't approve of.......

What would happen if he got in The Sack with ME?

Shit, we'd have good fun.
I'd see his tension leave his body like solar flares, maybe even a few solar storms

But, this seems impossible. Well, nothing's impossible. Maybe his wife will end up staying in Europe, or go her own way, and he will be free someday, and we will still know each other, and.......

Well, a woman can dream. I've now disconnected from all the "lovers" I've had during this period, felt it was the right thing to do before I died... case I didn't make it back, they wouldn't feel so sad. Now I feel that I won't re-connect again. It was an interesting time to experiment. The Hawk Man provided my Panther Self with hours of torture/endurance training..... and many challenges all of which he failed in ha ha wow look at that, haughty huh mi' lady..... guess all those years of being a victim, however distant they may be now, instilled in me some vengeful thinking, some feelings of wanting to "take down" the fuckers. Wow. Till right at this very moment I didn't even realize that. Writing is such an incredible way to reveal those inner things, hum, as a Medicine Woman, shouldn't I be ashamed of these feelings, especially WAY too ashamed to type them onto this diary and post them for you'all to see?

Well, if I wasn't The Fool, I guess so. If I hadn't promised to never edit what I type here, perhaps. If I gave a shit what you thought of me, yeah. If I was afraid of being "Human, All Too Human"--- ummmm, definitely.
 

But, here it is. I prefer to look it in the face. A woman was murdered at Baldwin Beach last week. I had slept in the same exact spot she had sat frequently, only yards from where she was murdered, 3 nights earlier. When I had walked over there at 2:30, 3 AM on that day, I stopped at the bathroom on the way. She came in shortly after. When she came out, she called to me, asking if I had a cigarette. I rolled one for her, and gave her a pack of matches.

So, when I heard of her brutal death, I thought "WHY THE FUCK WASN'T I THERE? I COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS!"

And then I fantasized about how, if someone had a knife, the Water/Willow techniques would have to be modified somewhat soz I could disarm the insane one (attacker) (what's up with the insanity plea, anyone who harms someone else is insane hello) and really to tell you the truth which I always will BY THE WAY I thought of how I might just kick him a few extra times while he was down.

Fuck. Guess there's always more layers to work on, yet, I'm not greedy for Spiritual Growth.

I'm just sittin here watchin the wheel go round and round.

More later, perhaps, dear loves. Time to type new story into/onto "Writings" page: "The Weeping Muse"..... and a new poem about a man and his bottle called "Roommate" that I wrote this morning. I'll put that one onto "Too Much Candy For The Little Girl" poetry page. Gonna give "Connections" its own page, taking it out of writings, and putting the cover illustration on the top and bottom.

"I've seen all the books and they all burn"

Oh, Craig, if only our impossible love was not.........

All interpretations of that apply. Let it be, please, either NOT impossible, and let us seize this time given to us, let us laugh out loud at The Fates and tell then they didn't fuckin win this time cause we SHALL TAKE OUR BLISS BY THE THROAT AND FUCKING OWN IT

oR, IF POSSIBLE, THAT THIS INTENSE LOVING AND LONGING BE not, BE taken away already for gods sake!!!! agggghhhhh! aaaaaaagggggggyhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew. Okay. Yeah.
 

Number one option please
 

"And because these daft and dewy eyed dopes keep
Building up impossible hopes

Impossible

Things are happening
Ev-------- ree--------- day!"
                    - From Rogers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella"
                    Quoted by a modern day Cinder and dust knower
                    Bird woman whose taken more than her share of dirt baths
                    And is more than ready for Happiness Unchained.
 

Anon, 3SE's  :)

:)Recharging before a journey

Tonight I realized, in a curious way, how tarot-card like metaphoric the ordinary events of our lives are. I dare say, after a while, everything becomes symbolic. Reading Craig's Workbook..... yes, life is the Play we direct, write, star in, the whole shebang (teh, kinda like my old TV show, "Survival Into The Twenty First Century". Wow. Memories...... Rolling Thunder :). Hugging a big Shepherd's purse plant..... more....... (sigh)

Play. Hum. Experiencing "ceremony backlash" right now, so.... playing, well, I don't know.... 5-6 days of fasting, 2-3 days of it on a strenuous Quest, just got back yesterday. This particular ceremony had it's side-effect nuances, as you may well imagine, yet the "normal" one of feeling that the earth's axis is tilted just EVER SO SLIGHTLY askew, and the resulting physical sensations of that..... whew, still a little tough to ride the surf of the intense swells of that, even at my age and after all the "intense" ceremonies I've been through!

So, was rootin around for somethin in the backpack that was my "one bag" on the quest ( my son Elijah's last school backpack I bought him, sigh) and came across the little flashlight I took, well, almost as an after thought, cause I have tremendously clear night vision even when there's no moon (learned/practiced in Shaman AND warrior training both, in, of all places, stalking lessons. Plus, some of my Medicine Animals have this quality to such a degree they're quite famous for it, so that helps, ey?

So, in rootin, (knew I'd get back here at some point on some bright n' sunny day)) I fingered my flashlight that I'd taken as almost an afterthought in case I came across any deep caves and/or lava tubes or somethin, but the joke was on me cause someone had switched it on and not recalled that they should be a switchin it off when they are done-o.

It's a rechargeable flashlight. I buy all battery-driven devices with recharges if possible. I used to have a little radio shack "flexible" one, it adjusted to different sizes or something.... but I gave it away to a friend who needed it. Guess I ought to get a new one someday soon, every little way you can help the environment. Shit- walking on my journey, I saw way too many (meaning even one.... though I DID see more than that) flattened batteries on the roads, crystallized acid remains coating them and around. Well, every little bit counts (repeat as a mantra 1 million billion times and you'll reach enlightenment.... or.... hummmmm... maybe Pittsburgh. Um.

I could have recharged it ANYWAY, pulled it out of the glove compartment, thinking it was all nice and charged since it was full when I put it in there and I never use it.... any time in the 3-4 days I was preparing for the fucking quest but
nooooo.............
And I didn't realize it till I was in the cave and tried to use it.

I proceeded anyway, as you well may imagine.

Recharge everything before a quest.
 

Addendum:
And if you screw up and forget, pull yourself up by your un-charged bootstraps and

Wing it.

Wanted: Place where a tiny fire can burn without anyone making you put it out (this is the entire daily submission. Let your mind spin the rest of the tale. Oh, well, and this poem, just written spontaneously about a dream I had last night with Joshua.... it just popped up when I had a whole other topic/ stream of conciousness regarding this put out your fire pattern that has popped up symbolically in my face lately so guess it wishes to read like a tarot card. I'll ponder this, and get back to ya tomorrow mehopes.

                     Joshua's Dream
Was going to write you this whole treatise on evolution and peaceful prosperity when
The cornfield grew and
I saved him from a burning crowd
From certain (death) arrest
I always feel good
Rescuing him in dreamtime.
It's comfortable- like old old old old friends,
"dharma buddies"- throughout time breathing sighing
Children Of Light didn't question me when I left,
Purple cadillacs cross the thin red line.
It's crossed now.
The thin line.
The red line
The burning crowd
The tiny hand
Strong thrust towards you in your need
Heat searing souls blazing all around
I'd pull you out
Any day
I am proud to know you're on this planet.
From the chaos bringing always
Up sannyasin, to skies bespeckled with powder.
 

So, did ANY of this mean anything at all to you? (sigh)

Aloha oe,
3singingeagles :)

Hey good buddies? Got your ears on 10-4?

So, is this what's going to happen now that I'm "free"?. I've been holding out for Doug and Ka'aumualii for so long (wrote Katz off years ago in this arena, but I'll never stop feeling that our hearts are combined somehow. I still love him intensely) but anyways I wonder if now men who need/want "a girl of their own" are going to continue to surface with prettily decorated leashes and collars hanging from their sardonically laughing hands.

I'll tell you guys what I'm feeling these days (right about now)

I really have to tell you that it seems impossible for me to live with anyone but another Writer.

Okay, for instance, the other day, putting gas into my BEST BEAUTIFUL MAUI CRUISER CAR, LOKAHI ALANUI!), (think I got a full six drops for my 10 bucks) (okay, I only had 5. More like 3.2 drops. Teh.) I noticed there was a moving van in the stall on the other side of "my" pump with it's hood open. When I came out from paying (will you take a second mortgage note on my home for a fillup?) one of the two men who'd been driving the van called me over and asked if I could give them a jump (no, that kind comes later.....) so of course I said yes. The place was filled with cars and even nice strong pick-up trucks, but I guess they thought I looked like the most likely to be a good Samaritan. Hah. If they only knew. I'd take a bullet for any of you. I'd ride a shark away from shore (Gabrielle: "fist a fish?" Xena: "sure.... it's fun!") I'd jump off a cliff into dangerous surf, run into fire to help someone always letting intuition pull me therefore not taking moot risks, unsuccessful attempts, useless bravado............

Anyways, he asked for my number when we were done (was it good for you too..... oh baby oh baby) then he called me. Guessed that he wanted to thank me. Instead, it turns out, he fell in love with me at first sight, and wants me to be his...... (mistress, rent-a-wife, girlfriend, what?)

The man has two cars and two pieces of land (by the way, he's already offered that the children and I live at either place) (ONE'S ON THE BIG ISLAND! JUST WHERE I WANT TO GO TO MINOR IN ASTRONOMY! WOAH! GOD, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT MY MASTERS DEGREE. I WON'T BE GREEDY AND ASK FOR A DOCTORATE, K? JUST MY MASTERS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!) Oh, one of the cars is a TOTALLY SWEET little Jaguar, old, early 60's. Shit, he and I have a lot in common, he was a Bronx boy, don't even have to cross water to get to the Bronx from Manhattan, hum, remembering Katz again...., another Bronx boy. Two or three of Larry's siblings went to Bronx Science, one during the same years as me it seems, and he sold pot, so I probably even knew him, though I never bought smoke there.... dad always had plenty at home, and it was kinda the unofficial duty of the editor of the newspaper I worked on (assistant editor, did that mean I had to clean the seeds out?) (Haha that could be a double entendre, specially' if we were in the "real" newspaper biz), but I probably got stoned with his brother, during the two or three times a day we'd all get together in the big field across the street from the school, and adjacent to the "bad" high school, Fordham. There were two school newspapers, one was modeled after The New York Times, very well done and laid out and crisp in content as well, and then there was ours, modeled after "The Village Voice" ( a "radical in your face" newspaper in NYC in those days. Wonder if they're still around, and, if so, if they've changed with the "kinder gentler everything's fine boyz and girlz sheeple times. Hum.

But there's some barriers. For one, He gets motion sickness during three of my favorite things to do: Flying in small airplanes (I want to get my license..... get a nice lil' solar model) Sailing, and driving real fast on curvy roads.

He DOES like Judy Collins. And woman who sing the blues. He would love my singing style. Once he gets back on his feet again (he'd been very ill for awhile), he might even help me produce it. I think he has it in his mind to buy me a brand new saxophone for my birthday (July 17th), and I only told a little piece of the story of my missing my chance at a sax by only two days once, in the middle of him talking about the artsy things he's done and/or played with......

Yet how can I sing when I have a sax in my mouth? It's like my puzzlement with the whole 69 thing. I'm not able to feel pleasure when I'm real busy giving a blow job. YES I can walk and chew gum (though I don't really like gum so it's rare you'll see that action, but..... CAN do!) yet anyway, looks like there are still plenty of enigmas to keep me busy, won't have to worry about getting bored on this crazy planet anytime soon. Teh.

Like, how about this one, he has 2-3 acres in the Puna district, I could pitch a tent or even build a house there if I like. Wow.

So, now, what do I tell the neighbors: "Yeah, well, my kids and I get to stay here for free and in return he comes over whenever he needs me wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean, know what I mean)

I COULD HAVE A GARDEN! FUCK that, it's better....... I would have a respectably sized bank canvas (piece of land) to do the edible landscaping thing, or..... hum..... even the..... "natural farming" with the clay seedballs?

I could go to school, do my gardening, raise my beautiful children, inhale Pele's breath and walk on her quivering body each day, feeling her heated almost surface rivers of orange and red rushing under my feet..... shielding by earth and stone layers only an illusion for the comfort of those who aren't "sensatives"...... go to UH Hilo, FINISH MY MASTERS major, TV minor, astronomy, think I can get away with it? The woman who was able to successfully represent The Moon at the UN general assembly in Political Science class? I have many many many skills.

Right, and, it being true, and these men tripping over themselves with love for me, laying treasures at my feet,

What should I do? If I didn't have to live with them full time, I could still do my writing. Take everything else away, not THAT. I'd scrawl words in the dried rat-feces on the floor of a foreign prison if I ever found myself there. Must..... write.....

Which takes me (us) back to the beginning again. Because I'd rather have a man with me full time. I loved being married. I have no problem being monogamous when I'm sexually satisfied by my mate either.

But I could only live with another writer. No one else understands us like us. We could sit in different room, or, better, separate parts of the same enormous bright sunny room. Ah- maybe even have a few different spaces for creating, a treehouse, little yurt or tipi up hill and/or back in woods, bathroom with enormous circular marble bathtub and dictation/recorder mounted into wall, also art studio, so nice smell of oils and pigments aroused by the steam

And, being able to make love as often as we wish. OH how my writing, yes, all of my art, would SOAR with such a thing. The keen blush of love on my cheeks.

I'm dreaming...........

Anon, heart-fellows,
3SE's

I'm not quite sure what the luminous vehicle is anymore. Prob'lee time to end this page, then. Hum, maybe I should give it a few days. Not quit a day or two before the miracle (twisted AA slogan, which goes thus: "don't quit a MINUTE before the miracle". Those AA folks are a tense bunch!)

She doesn't want to do the same thing and expect different results (another old AA slogan) so she takes off from her life and sits on the bed. She's horny but she won't have sex. She's hungry yet she won't eat. She was always told that the angels would be around her as long as she learned the rhythms of her body and honored them. Well, look at what good those alleged angels have done! No, she won't satisfy her cravings, now. Maybe those fuckers will go away, or, perhaps they've been staying away all this time (her being ill advised) and NOW they will come and help her out, now that

She has been completely forgotten by everybody. She has become an afterthought (at best) in someone else's well-written exciting play. When the action slows down a little much, or the main characters are gone, they may-or-may-not-but-be-constantly-ready-anyway call her to the stage and abuse her awhile for comic relief.
 
 

Yeah, so I do things different and become, what? Think they're gonna give you a juicy part? Or even one with DIGNITY? Who kept saying that she is The Fool? Who wore the Jesters hat that papa loaned. He said he'd get one for her some day, and give it to her. Hum. K. Guess so. Maybe. Maybe she'll even receive it. If she survives this

Yeah, another one of those Blue days that pop up every so often.

Later, everyone.
3SE's

Have a lot to write to you including complete morning pages from yesterday which I fear/expect you may find intriging, yet must call Texas, Take a hot little motorcycle ride to a job interview at an organic herbfarm/greenhouse, and read some od Tom Robbins 1980 classic, "Still life with woodpecker", but, till then,

I'll give ya some e-mail action that's been goin on around my working (with much resistance, I may add, from my inner critic) on getting a gig at the Maui Writer's Conference, and also doing my first "editing/ helping a budding artist without killing their spirit assignment, and also reading Othello over and over again soz I might re-birth the lost (saved on one disk- when will I learn?) brilliant one-act "Why I Hate Othello" play.

Full life keeps 3singingeagles out of a percentage of trouble, though we're not sure of the percentage, story at six and ten.....
 
 

Sistah!

I just got your request for a letter, and am only too happy to comply.

Wow. If I didn't known you to be honest and shining, I would accuse you of frivolous tossing around of flattery unbound!

Woops, guess you can see I've been reading Othello over and over again. (Writing is only sometimes a day at the beach, she sighs aloud) I told someone who insisted for the ten millionth time (slight exaggeration alert) that he wasn't in love with the woman he's always talking about that I was "a'fearin he wuz-uh protestin' too greatly" (is she wathchin' John Wayne movies inbetween Shakespeare sessions !?!)

Well, actually, no. I'm reading a Tom Robbins book I haven't read ("Still life with woodpecker") to clear my verbal pallette. Jeez. Shakespeare and Tom Robbins? Well, can't be weirder than the two combos I've been compared to, (Craig:) " Your short story writing is like a cross between Charles Bukawski and Tom Robbins". And Tom has one of his characters stay in a room Bukowski once stayed at.... in "Woodpecker". And the Queen of Mu- my title, too weird. I never would have read Charles or Tom if I hadn't been curiosity-piqued by the comparison. On the poetic side, an award-winning female poet once said of my poetry "It's like Rumi is inside the body and soul of Elizabeth Browning". This was equally histerical to me, though no research was needed, these being my two favorite poets of all time.

Anyways, wow. THANK YOU! I am so warm inside! The mirror was pleasant to look into, usually not the case in our lives, most mirrors people hold up in our faces are smudged with dung or old car-oil, drained from a vehicle that had a detached addituded for maintenence owner........ after the car had been parked in the side yard for four years.
 

I have been between computers here, but now am set up with a lovely
lovely new system, including printer.  I presume you woul like your
letter on MCC letterhead stationery, and will try to figure that out on
my new [:)] printer [!].  If I succeed, you will find the letter on my
office door.

Victory was yours! I remember you mentioning the impending arrival of said system in class, with a fear-licked sparkle of expectant possible pleasure in your beautiful eyes, so I've peeked through the little blinds when I've visted. Sure looks neat. Then again, Summer is light, we'll see in the second and third months of the Fall semester, me'thinks.

Ooooooopppsss... lapsing Shakespearesque again!

Oh, P.S., "Got tenure?" (hopehope)
 

I hope you and Zach can find a way to communicate.  He is fiercely
dedicated to writing, and that is good,

Absolutely. Here's our latest correspondance, don't think he'd mind if I shared it with you of all people.... hope not..... shit, Michele, I DO LOVE THIS TEACHING SO SO SO SO MUCH! Well, sparking is what it feels more like to me. Don't think I'll ever call myself a teacher, even if I get my Masters and become a professor...... I'll have to set the students straight on the first day that I'm a sparker. And so are they. God, so much is revealed by everyone, everything, life is amazing.

----Original Message Follows----
From: zsummer@maui.net (Zach Summerfield)
To: singingeagles3@hotmail.com
Subject: Story:New Version!
Date: Sun, 11 Jun 2000 19:35:38 -1000 (HST)

Dear 3 singing eagles,

Since you are open to assisting me as a fresh reader, and fresh is what I
need, since I've been in this damn thing for so long, I'd really like your
opinion on a couple of changes that I think may be interesting.

1. Leaving out the single quote when stating his thoughts. In other words,
just stating his thoughts, without punctuation, just letting the voice be
evident. For example, page 8, "These kids are recklessly undisciplined and
get away with murder." I noticed in Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea, he
just states the old man's thoughts in their context, without any special
punctuation. Is this ok?

GO FOR IT! Wow- The Old Man And The Sea! I didn't ever read it- but Spencer Tracy doing his monologue to The Fish (and to life, of course) alone in the boat is one of my top ten monologues of all times..... in fact in Drama class I picked that as my monologue but the Prof. said we have to pick a part we would cast OURSELVES in if we were the casting directors. Of course, if I had been as quick and fiesty then as I am now, I would have told him that if I were to be a casting director, what- with my quirky and eccentric behavior and personality- one would be amiss to suspect me of casting anyone BUT a small blonde chick in The Old Man's role, a dark haired man playing the good witch of the North, or a string of christmas lights staring as a moody saxaphone player doing the soft-muted anonymous backround fill on comedy nights at a little known bar. He didn't know me that well then. He wouldn't question it now, knowing I could pull it off. This was early in the semester. We've known eachother over two years since then, he's seen me completly metamorphasize....... he wouldn't flinch now lettin' me "Do The Old Man". Ha.Ha ha ha.

2. I'm using two analogies here. First, I refer to his baring his teeth
like a half snarling dog, and then I refer to his sniffing around like a
German Shephard. Secondly, I have him turning into a snake. Page 6, when he
is strapping on the guns, "He rose like the head of a snake". Then, please
notice that on page 8, I changed "he bit his teeth together," to, "He
flexed his maw"
and then the verbs that follow are all indicative of a snake, e.g., crept,
entered, advanced, slipped into, turned, ducked, slithered, peeped, and
hung on the shelf. All this is in preparation for "neck-swinging serpents"
and, "He lurked low...hundered down inside his jaw...riveted his eyes.

It seems quite obvious that, much like Bill Murrey and The Gopher, this man that popped up to tell his story through you has both DOG and SNAKE medicine. Interesting combo. Simplified: "Dog Medicine's" word is LOYALTY. Domestication of something wild. Decended from wolves, a lone wolf is rare and usually sick and/or insane. Being part of an organized, comforting, stable "family" or "group" is good for people with DOG medicine. SNAKE is so powerful and complex I do not believe it has ONE word ascribed to it, though, I 'spect if their is one somewhere it's not possible to pronounce on "our' sound frequency. Snakes, like Dragons (one of my medicine animals, the Grandmother) are either revered in the highest fashion possible, OR considered the ABSOLUTE bottom, the EPITTIMY of EVIL. It's the Goddess/whore
dicotemy that is plagueing most of this planet nowadays, and that's as much a product of this Snake dicotomy as more obvious times, for instance, when "saint" Patrick killed the "SNAKES" (pagans, people of the earth, non- 'bending over to take it in the ass from the rabid catholics sheeple') It seems that society, in people with snake and dog medicine, cries out for them to be "top or bottom", and the domesticated wolf yearns them, lures them with it's warm consistently-fed comfort, into conformity with intense competitive trying and a tendency towards extremly lofty goals and/or dreams.

Has any of this been helpful?
 

I think these changes are very interesting. Please give me your fresh
opinion. What do you think? Are these changes for the better?

I'm trusting your judgement completly. If they're here, either they're really subtle or I've read the story too many times in these past days, and must go away from it for awhile- maybe watching a few hours or even days straight of mindless sitcoms to "clear my mental pallette" soz I might tast it again.

Anyway, Bernie Taupin would probubly have said of your story, if he had read it:
"Oh, but it's weird and it's wonderful!
 

Mucho Aloha ea!
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose

PPS
More! More! Hana ho! Hana ho! ("Sugar Mama Blues"?)

 but take care of 3SE too!

All Ways May That be, and for You Too, sweet one!
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose (changed my last name when I went to The Land Of The Dead a few weeks ago, long good story, when next we shall meet may the tale be told as it- yea- must be, forthwith yet with the flair of the unhurri'ed.

Oh, jeez. Think it's time for The Woodpecker. Job interview at an herb farm and nursery later. Motorcycle ride there and maybe touring after. Sigh. Life IS good.

hope you get this in time!

Did, by the way. Procrastination sometimes serves The Fool
(Oh god, 3SE's, CUT IT OUT!)

YOU ARE WORTHY!!!!!!
DITTO ARTIST'S FRIEND!!!!!
 
 
 

Visit my homepages :)

FACES OF THE MOON: https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/index.html

Song Of The Moon:
http://www.mauigateway.com/~singinge/index.htm

May MUCH Aloha FILL your life!
Malama Pono, and a HUI HO !   :)
 
 

Oh, the river flows, over rock and stone......

Have you ever wished on a star, carried moonbeams home in a jar..... (?)

Springtime.... for HITler.... in Germ an ee
 

Oh, those lines that stay with you. That haunt and bug your brain throughout life, that carry your stereotypical humdrums onto shores unmapped through waters uncharted!

(Unedited.)

That's one way to clean out your sinuses, sweet lady. And a few resentments.
There is no total bad.
There are no total demons.

You called it the demon of alcohol but it had served you well, relaxing muscles and inhibitions that "nice girls don't.............
Say feel scream shout verbalize
Those kinds of things."

Face it, if this "demon" looking more and more suspiciously like a "deva" hadn't come to you to lay with you and shoot its essence inside you,
Pour it inside of you,
Have you almost BATHING in it, occasionally
Then you would not've been able to write most of the stuff you've written
You would not be the human being that you are now
And you CERTAINLY would not know
How extremely furious you are
At everybody. (Hurt?)
Well, decisions are being made Right Now As We Speak, ones that may or may not change my life. Nobody really knows. I do not belong to the family. Even if/when my ch'i drops, and, should it be I drink again, I'm still good." In fact, it seems that I AM the best Mother for these children". WOAH just as I thought to write that sentence- the rising sun hit prob'lee the only reasonable puka (hole) in the dense forest that it rises on the other side of, here, and hit my head in such a way that it (probably framed my head in a radiant halo, had I a mirror nearby or someone else awake in the house I would've known that for sure) but it DEFINITELY DID FRAME MY SHADOW, which it, by the way, had simultaneously placed on the wall- shadow of head & shoulders while sitting on the end corner of the bed doing these morning pages, scrunched up in the only available spot so I wouldn't wake and/or disturb my beautiful sleeping baby, my shadow- framed in the first thick-yellow (orange slightly, egg yolks from free-range chickens) of the morning.

    MY SHADOW IS AN ANGEL
MY FUCK-UPS HAVE MADE ME
           HOLY

Now I'm no longer worried about fucking up. No one, not even myself, can harm me anymore than I am already. I have been, now, officially harmed to an exponential degree which cannot be factored or reduced to make other than it's equivalent. Something has happened inside me. Something has left forever. I think that it's hope. In "The Shambala Warrior", both hope & fear are unwanted qualities. Fear left quite some time ago.
    Little fears were expulsed before I went to "The Land Of The Dead" (across de kine veil) ( why the many-dayed prepatory journey was necessary) (Even with Eagle Medicine, fear of high places, especially "unstable" edges with rocks was a big one to overcome). Yet- I still had hopes. From little to excessive. Yet- not this morning.

(This is only part of the complete pages that morning.... rarely stop at three, specially' these days, when there's so much goin on in this
Tender yet really really resilient and kind around the edges brain of mine)
Want more? e-me if the desire really burns. I'm tired of transposing right now cause I want to go out and sit on the wooden stoop gazing at mynah birds counting coup on each other over chips I threw to them, and/or something new and interesting in the compost, while smoking a hand-rolled American Spirit/Sages cigarette with some extreme additudinal action goin on, probably inspired, much like an actor by a director when that energy bond is going (sigh. memories.)  and then come in and WRITE SOMETHING NEW cause dee words are tumbling over each other to feel the warm wet touch of my lips as they exit sang, the stroke of my fingers when they come to you like this.)

Anon.  3SE's

More thoughts on a June 14th

Didn't they know their beloved's just wanted them to TRY
The unsweetened cream
The thin plain rice milk, unenriched and/or fattened with foreign oils
Certainly with no long list of unreadable ingredients in tiny percentiles of dubiousness.
Coffee black and below hot enough to fill the mouth and swish but not below enough to steal the warm sensations pulsations of 90 point something mouths
To the lava rush-
Mates! Hurry! Before it's too late!
Seize our simple unsweetened and therefore honest and easy to taste all the components and know them well selves
I, for one, am confident enough in your satisfaction in the brew that is me
If you had starved almost to death in the unoasis'ed desert, I'd invite your break fast
To be my tea.

My muse is stalking me and I love it.

I am blowing off all seemingly important practical tasks to spend the day with my muse.

Expect many new poems and writings on their two pages by evn'tide!
 

WRITINGS

TOO MUCH CANDY FOR THE LITTLE GIRL: POETRY

From an e-mail reply I sent Saturday to someone who was just fucking bitchin too damned much and so I guess I've been complainy lately cause it bothered me and we all know the psych 101 projection theorem, whether to college we'd a bean or not. Sigh. No time for anything more today, too busy living. Michaela and I will dress up, and do "Forest Theater", the ultimate in Community Theater (being in the broadest and most far-reaching, (if not, disappearing?!?) community on the planet, The neighborhood of Nature, The turnoffs on the roads of stress into bough sheltered bliss. The United Colonies Of Free Roots And Bare Feet Inc. Will post some photos tomorrow, on New page. Father's day, my wedding anniversary with Doug (teh) will be the last entry here. New diary will start having daily photos, and be, generally, more illustrated. Gonna start making nebula icons/ animated gifs, save all images you find on may pages please........ time to share and not be so fucking constipated, um?

???????????????

Laytuh. Here's the letter. I have to get my costume on for portraying the "Kapa Angel Of The Hawaiian Islands"..... I don know.... ask the director (Michaela) I "jus do what I'is told, whilst inter-a-jecting some of my style an class"
 

(To the becoming-a-nusance-now correspondent)
"If for some reason your browser is fucking up, you can always do things the old fashioned way, and SCROLL DOWN THE PAGE! Just an idea, it won't take much effort, much less than all these e-mails have, hum?

The only broken link I found was "Thanksgiving"

This direct link should take you there, though I'm starting to suspect there's some reason, supernatural or subconcious in origin I'm not quite sure, why you're not seeing them. This story in particular is quite disturbing. Also amazing well written (and, yes, I do say so myself even though mine is not the only opinion in this regard). For some fans, it's their favorite story! Wow. And we live on the same planet as these people! Whew!

Okay, so here's the direct link to the (now fixed) "The Thanksgiving Of My Discontent". Good luck, I guess.

PS
Have you read ANYTHING on the page

PPS
There's always the "print" option...

Technologically AND artistically yours,
3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose
 

NOW I'm at that point in my life as a writer where I'm looking for someone (an agent, I guess) who will read my writings as I produce them, and sell them for me. There's enough markets now, and my writing has progressed enough as well (right, that sentence really proved and/or confirmed THAT, huh?) that now I can just write what I want and have it sold to someone who prints stuff like it (okay, first letter on a Sunday morning) anyways.......

This is reminding me, Father's day- oughtta send some e-cards to my father, since I'm lucky to have him alive and anyway I have some questions regarding the logo/book cover to HIS upcoming book, "Tales Of The Hooded Marauders", which I am in the process of compiling/designing. Sigh. Graphic design. Not an expert in it- but I do my own and it really tickles my artists brain.

Making money or being published doesn't make you more of a writer, in my opinion. My experience is that some of us are just really BoRN thinkin and lookin at the world this strange way- and we share that gift for the rest of our lives, whether we use it to help support our physical vehicles for the aforementioned creative expression (s) or not, what evers, I actually prefer lawn mowing or gardening or greenhouse or pickin fruit or flowers for a big farm as preferable cash work, when I write it's like masturbation in many ways, extremely pleasurable, a release, (normally) done alone in a darkened room...... it's really so intimate to me that "selling" it makes me feel like a prostitute..... like a charleten-preacher selling afterlife insurance.

Well, off to send greetings to my papa and the papas of my children and grandchildren..... laytuh, dude

3singingeagles Ma'hinahinahina Rose

P.P.S. You like Thanksgiving.... what do you think of the poem "Panther On The Full Moon", and also the one to my dad on same page?

https://www.angelfire.com/ma/hinahinahina/TooMuchCandy.html#Panther On A Full
 

Gonna end this page later. See ya, friends................

Later On Pa'pears day

Woner if Dad was able to translate my somewhat cryptic message to him:

Can YOU figure it out?

Was also my 15th wedding anniversary with Doug today. We got to talk. Hum. Connections. How would I want the audiance to "hear" my character, if, indeed, they could hear all of what I say all the time how would I

Like to be remembered by.

"THREE SINGING EAGLES: SHE WAS REAL

Next page will be: Forest Theatre, I'll archive tis when I post it.

See ya (astrally? En duh DREAMtime?)

3SE's  :)

Fer pa's day she yur golden girler prudly announc'icates hers intentions fer toeh 'cept yur quest as per hooded marader tales n page uh homeies, an book jaket fussied up.... whar doz I finds uh pic uhff a dirt'ee spade, hooded figguh, N a mountain or't least respectable hill with the 'husdon damn near teh makin clefts iffen not downright CON'travesty?

Yur Female oldest girl chil kin"