Some poetry from early 2,000 till sometime in Feb.
HESE POEMS ARE THE RAWEST EVER AND CONTAIN A LOT
OF SEXUALLY AND/OR EMOTIONALLY DISTURBING IMAGES.
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK ALREADY, EY?
| 1 | End The Watch, Bring Your Arms |
| 2 | Dinner Whore |
| 3 | Coffee Queen |
| 4 | Ship Of Fools, Bobbing |
| 5 | GONZO COOKIN |
| 6 | Sylvia’s Ghost |
| 7 | Panther On A Full Moon |
| 8 | Daddy's Thinking Of Me |
| 9 | My Answer To The Luminous Ones |
| 10 | Icarus's Moth Totem |
| 11 | Jargon |
| 12 | The Long Walk |
| 13 | Roommate |
| 14 | Shambala Warrior |
| 15 | Pseudo Sweats Blues |
| 16 | Small Crabs With Big Dreams |
| 17 | Homeless Clan At The Cafe |
| 18 | Resentment Shoes |
| 19 | He Sees His Beast In You |
| 20 | Open Scars Of The Soul Blues |
| 21 | My Seed Offering To Her |
| 22 | The Fool In A Dance With Herself |
| 23 | LOUD Sighing Slide |
Click
here to get back to the home page the moon adores:
End The Watch, Bring Your Arms
I saw you
had been watching me
After I
rose from under the blanket tree.
I had given
the tree a pink rosebud
Nestled
it in a little bowl carved by time in its trunk,
Before
I Left.
Rising
from the pagan offering, I saw you.
I would
have given you one too
If I could've
gotten
Even a
little close to you
But
The self-imposed
gap
For the
safety of our souls....................
So futile!
Our love has already swallowed us whole
Till you
must stand in the shadows
Just to
catch a glimpse of my thigh on the grass blade!
I would've
run to you-
You know.
I would've
swept you into my warm arms
Beautiful
Face
Cherished
Poet Lover, yes, I know
You're
not a poet
You're
not my lover
Keep telling
yourself that
I hope
you have better luck than I have
O- that is SUCH bullshit, I hope
You come
out of the shadows, soon, NOW, and RUN TO ME
Arms and
heart askew!
Darling it rules, rocks, sucks, rocks, rules, fool, cool, fine,
Sneaks ice-cream in.
Brownie points win.
Dinner and a show-
Then he ex pects sex you know
Expects free sex when he pays for the date
I'm gonna ask the next
Prostitute I see
What's the goin' rate nowadays?
Seems like a
Bad little deal to me
A chef's salad
And a coupla glasses of Chardoney
And some strangely bright yellow theater popcorn.
Early one morning the quiet Queen entertained her thoughts as if they
were guests.
Crumpets dear? Another spot of tea there? COFFEE- how un British
Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me,
I'm a generalized Queen- don't have to be from "The Isles"
Pass'a dat JA-va plees
I likee Ai'ells
Yit, I be one Queen in dee
Carr'a'bean, ey
Steel drums made a cacophony at her announcement, or cause the coffee was kickin in, or both, anyways,
She sat back and dreamed (in between sips o' coffee) of
E-mailing him later, from her, bedroom- NOT the throne room and him
Being right on line at that very moment and
E-ing her back that he was
Jetting to the islands, to her
Bedroom not her throne room.
Ummmmmm.......
She bent her new glasses
Though her abandon wasn't planned
They sunk their ship
And were lost
To the man
No survivors- wait-
Except on the ship of fools
Lightly, lightly, with great beauty, they sharpened their tools and
their cutting remarks
And then threw them all away.
That's right, they abandoned their strategic weapons
And cast all their fates to the wind
Two times 20 is 30
Nowhere are things quite as good
As on the North Forty.
Except when making a touch down.
Oh, that is GOOD.
Yes, I know how you feel, I understand,
This- I said- and- to the man-
The messages
Kept getting
Clearer
The touch of his voice
Nearer
He wanted to call me a slut
But the words came out, Goddess.
So, I floated on dancing in between classes,
Like free time wasn't a gravy.
I've been stopping my desire to eat.
I've been taking my wet brain to the cleaners.
I've been tearing down the cellar doors,
I've been writing bad poetry in bed,
I've been dreaming of fishes with scales drawn like musical notes
Big gawky clumsy-
Dancers!
Small sprightly fairy-folk
Wrestlers!
(Sumo)
(Etheric Sumo, Aerial fairy fuck, rice cakes over easy with honey)
(Beg me and I'll add Sunflower nut butter)
They gave me a sudden appointment at the apothecary.
Which ones would you like? These little green ones? These chartreuse
ones coated smoothly? Hum? Which ones?
Sylvia Plath’s Ghost stopped me.
“Do you want someone writing poetry about how fucked up you were
After YOU'RE dead? Like they did with me? Do ya? Do ya?”
I looked at all the pills
Their pretty colors didn't SEEM to
Spell death
I asked her to elaborate.
“First”
Said Ghost Sylvia-
“First-
They kill your spirit
This isn't hard to do, what, with the sophisticated blends of modern
pharmaceuticals
Way beyond our ‘mothers little helpers’
And gin for breakfast
Sleep-
Sleep-
One and one does NOT equal two.
Add to the drugs- people's cruelty.
Honed tight and hungry, a jaguar readied.
Then, top it all off by injecting it into
The most TENDER of all the souls- a poet's heart-
YOUR heart-
This is what they plan, darling
This is the shit they intend to pull on you- and- of course- by doing
it to you depriving free-thinking citizens of the world on the
Edge of revolution- from reading the raw and powerful words you would
have written, and spilling over that edge
Yes- Yes! Stick that fucking rainbow down your throat!
Feel your brain buzz then numb!
Is your soul draining out yet?
Oh, good good good--------“
That's what Sylvia’s ghost had to say
As I stood at the apothecary
And contemplated the possibly imminent death
Of my soul.
3singingeagles
2/00
(Woah!)
Panther
On A Full Moon
By 3singingeagles, early 2000
None of my lovers came through on that day
So I went to the beach: to tan, to dream, to cocoa butter, to try new
drugs, to play bongos,
to act genteel- nah- know I'm kiddin yeah?
TO NOT ACT AT ALL.
My cheese has been warm for so very many days. Is it TOO warm now?
Is my Gruyere chunky- huh- huh huh huh does it have
Big ol chunks floating in its
Grainy veneer?
Well, I'm in Pa’ia!
He might just come across me here!
And THEN what will he do!
Take me to his kingdom in the Damp Brush- his-
Cheap blue tent with
Mold-spores that actually pay rent
And some are in a jug band
Jugs
Of wine
Haphazardly arranged around everywhere
Oh how I’d love to drink
Without the smell- and the passing out- and the acne and bugs crawling
and loss of appetite and sweating and drooling
They want us to be their babies
Cause then they can
Change our diapers.
Keep your jugs!
I'm staying awake for this one!
Wanna use that belt on me!
Just TRY!
No wonder you stay away from me!
You're afraid of me, now, since you've seen how
I can pin you down and how you can not get loose till I choose to let
you
I like having this power over you
Is THIS the fiercest warrior I could find on the
Whole fucking island? Shit- am I too powerful now? What.
I'm in the center of the river
Like the Hopi Elders encouraged some of us to
Yep- I've let go of that shore
It didn't actually take too long
That's part of why I SINCERELY LOVE being a warrior-
INTENSE keening suffering fear sorrow SCREAM it to EVERYWHERE 360degrees
around baby
SCREAM it now- SCREAM it-
SCREAM it- SCREAM SCREAM
SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM
Then let it go
The shore.
In The Rapids now. OH yes.
Someday perhaps,
They'll have these handwritten books in a museum somewhere
Open to
SCREAM WORDS
And wonder what the fuck
Drug I was on.
“Loneliness, coffee, and the sunrise directly in my eyes over Haleakala
at a moment when I was not sheathed by sunglasses”
A POWERFUL drug-
The sun coming in your eyes with no
Condom. “I'm gonna shoot you full, now, baby
That's right- baby
I've got your ass in my hands
I'm in charge now- ha ha
Whose pussy is this? Hum? Whose? WHOSE? Who owns it…. ME…. Say it,
bitch…. Answer me now…… I own this pussy…….. SAY it
Don't PLAY with me now, you
Know who you are playing with? A triple Taurus? Hum? You REMEMBER,
huh? Do you fucking KNOW you little CUNT how many people I've killed with
my BARE HANDS and you
Are pressing your lips tightly together and sticking up your chin
Impertinently- that's right- yeah BABY- YOU
LIKE TO
LIVE DANGEROUSLY
DON'T YOU?
I shake my head yes- from under him,
Open my eyes and make them belong to a Roe Deer
For just a moment or two
Long enough to get him trapped in their twin headlights
And flip him off of me
And remind him
That he will NEVER be in control of me
Unless he ties me up
Or puts me in chains, or a cage,
But he shouldn't be so sure even then
Now should he
After all, it's not a woman he's fucking
I think as I get on my hands and knees and wait for him to catch his
breath and get up
Bring his cock over
To the Panther.
Who's in control NOW, huh
I own your lust
Hired killer
You've been
Bested!
His curls are damp with sweat
His eyes are overflowing with tears
Though I don't see them, since my
Eyes are shut, and shoved into the carpet
Oh yes- I let him grab my hair
And look at me fierce
The Panther can smile a smile that is not a smile at all, yet is.
At the Hawk: you may nip me- make a few marks in my skin- pull out
a couple of tufts in my fur-
If it calms you down even a LITTLE
From the nervousness the knowledge that I could kill you with one swipe
of my paw
Gives you.
Candies a'topuh my daddy's head.
Wonder what she's doing now?
He wonders.
Oh,
Being raped left and right,
Sleeping on beaches,
Making friends with centipedes,
Avoiding paid-for ceremonies,
Applauding street-preachers,
Opening no bank accounts,
Taking abuse that doesn't belong to me,
Laying down my life for my comrades........
He sucks on his pipe, wanting, really, to listen to Wagner-
But having only Shubert in the background.
Yeah- he has alternate disks- but he's too lazy
(Settled into his chair)
To go change them.
His daughter sits in her bed in the alleged safe house waiting for
the next resident to come in and try to fuck her.
Encapsulated in her heart is a little softglowing ember.
She calls it nothing.
Say that better.
She refuses to put a name to it.
She wants to feel its soft pureness without reverting to intellectualism,
Without any focus going up to her brain,
She wants it to stay there.
"Look at my records and know that what you did this morning was very
very bad"
She thought to the gestapo-wannabe "staff person"
But didn't say cause she was ready to
SPIT IT INTO HER FACE
She just sat in her bed,
Back properly in her room like she was told,
Thinking that everything was just A o K.
Not.
Reality bites.
She washed for the 10 millionth time yet still all the smell of the
cruel abuse refused to be gone.
Begging keys, she fled------
To a place where she could bleed in peace & take a toke to ease
the pain.
She slept there, in her car, rather than be at a house where she was
not safe.
"Attack me and die" she spoke, wind in her hair, to the firing squad.
They had their weapons at ready- mouths trembling to shoot out cruel
harsh and lethal verbiage.
Cocks at ready to shoot out cum- preferably all over her.
Hands at ready to reach out and grab her in false hugs.
All forms of toxic violence.
She sat there, and waited, and was ready.
She had only come here, after all,
To shower off all the tears!
That's been my day, daddy.
Postscript:
The next day, after writing this, I checked my e-mail and there was
a cryptic message from my dad. One sentence in latin. Translated it today,
well, got meaning for the individual words.
You can go ahead and see what it means to you. I must go soon. I'm
starting to cry and it's getting hard to type. The last line of this poem
really did it to me, and I added it later! (not in the original raw version).
Whew. Okay, lets see if I can make it through one more..... type one more
in before I leave you today...... sweet and dear anonymous compadres.........
cucullus direptores verberat diluculo
cucullus -i m. [a hood , cowl].
directus : plain, simple, direct, open, straightforward.
verbera : (in pl.) blows, a beating, thrashing
verberantia : a flogging
diluculo : dawn, daybreak.
My
Answer To The Luminous Ones
So now, the writer, switching pens for the ten MILLIONTH time,
Calls to the contest the Luminous Ones.
"You only switched pens 3 times this morning"
They say.
I, the clever and always-on-it writer says back to them
"It was ten million to ME"-
And they all applaud.
A good Zen answer is worth a billion rubles.
Or 3.
Whatevers.
Icarus's
Moth Totem
(inspired by gazing at the painting "Landscape with the Fall of Icarus
by Brueghel)
His legs flail
Fallen Youth
Impetuous- oh- boy/man with the
Moth itself as his totem
Cause-
"Oh, papa-" (says Icarus, falling fast,)
"The light, the light,
It is a visual siren song to me!
Oh, papa! If only I had a rope to tether ME from IT
That plain yet nearly magic twine which saved many a hero, (thanks
be to shipmates,) from Circe's call
The rays-
papa they beckon me! It's not like
I only soar cause you said nay!
Devoted I have been to you- a good son
I thought not that my nature was rebellious
Yet maybe it is.
Was.
The political science textbook had, I'm quite sure, some good stuff
in it
But it all ran together to me
STOP ASSAULTING US WITH YOUR FUCKING HIGH FALOOTIN GODDAMED JARGON
ITS LIKE
You don't want us to understand
Any of this.
2/20/00
The woman was walking up the stairs to the VA office, little child's
hand clasped
11-12-13-14-15.......
Counting the incremental
16-17-18-19-20
Towards the useless
21-22-23-24
Fight for us then we'll forget you- okay?
25-26-27-28-29-2000
Is the year and in most of the parking lots I pass,
On foot,
The concrete is broken.
Or at least chipped or cracked
Tar is being taken over, and broken as well, by tree roots.
I made my coffee as strong as I could, by taking the dregs of the old
pot instead of the fresh new drops made from convience-store employees
who've been here since
3-
4-5-6-7
Sounds like they may've fell down a flight or two
OH- DARK POET- MAYBE THEY'VE STARTED A NEW FLIGHT
It's a long way up to
The VA office.
He tosses and turns in his nights
In the afternoons, sometimes, too, if he's had the day off
Cause
The demon alcohol has become his roommate
And this demon likes his privacy so
He puts the Former Rebel to sleep.
This is what he does.
Asks him if he'll stop by at the store on the way home
"Just for a six-pack of stout"
The Former Really Good Chance For Change In This World gets two bottles
of dark red wine while he's there, too-
Just in case company comes.
Company- even if it did come,
Well, the chances of him answering the door are slim.
His old lovers know, too,
That he smells bad now- even after a shower
And he might be known
To pin them down, or pinch them, or start ordering them around attaching
words like "bitch" and "whore" and "fucking slut" to it if he was
Really inebriated- so
They don't come by anymore.
In general, his new roommate
Has destroyed his life.
I've opened up My inner heart Always immense
Are waves of joy Always immense
Are insecurities
Always immense
Are sadness' regarding every scheme
I've left my heart behind
Seen it rolled in hollowed gutters
Searched the stars for seasons
(Pathetic seasons? Luminous seasons?)
Of my life
Sweat lodge memories
The smells of prairie sage
And metallic burning dirt
Of rocks giving their precious lives their hold togethers, of grief
Potent brew for the people.
Recreational sweats
Cause tears to flow freely from me
Do you don clothes in the womb
And constantly mention the price of wood
And take "contributions"
For sacred ceremonies
Every time thinking perhaps,
Pervertedly so of course,
You are really doing something good for the people!
If you only lost the people power.
Perhaps, being left alone with the sweat lodge,
You'd hear the spirit of all those dead pohaku
Crying.
Signs of the love my baby daughter bears me, sit in the book.
The moon seems to be fading from view,
Where she once was a blue column emitter, into the water, sun rising
slowly behind me,
Little sand crabs digging their holes out,
Skittering,
Morning time play,
Watch out for the sandpiper now.
Basking in what was once joy,
They left the mountains in the ocean by just dreaming it.
They were SMALL crabs, but
They had
Big dreams.
They had a hard time, too, finding a house.
I could get used to this- laying my heart bare in canvased-corners of
cafes with
None to care if
I
Sleep in guttered
Silence tonight or
Give peace a chance.
The list goes on and on,
Of those who I resent.
How do I nip it in the bud?
Or do I?
Do I just turn and walk away,
from them,
from the world where people are cruel and inflexible and punishing?
Till I know I shall play my fragrant
rattle. It shall infuse a pleasing
scent into the air. I shall
treat myself to a movie and
tofu. I shall attend a meeting
in the open air. I shall buy
a dozen roses for myself. Just
because. I shall drive up to
the grove near the summit
of the mountain, and make a
fire,
and dream of them,
Villainous spawn
Whole butter knives will be carving
Holographic images of pain
On my hands, fingers,brain,restroom tree
Light comes to morning
I digress
My solemn prayer is
lost
On ears unhearing in the
void
Many moons have passed
Between the white bear & the black flower
Ka'aumuali'i prophesied that you would be afraid.
Oh yes. It WOULD be a big change
Having me there.
"He wants to talk first
This is a sign-see?
When he's in his power
He invites you back- begs
You to come back soon-
To the side- he speaks- come back- anytime- into perpetuity
Then, when he is left alone with the prospect of
meeting you once again but with
absolutely no one around
No safety net
No escape rout,
he"
Panics
Calls
Panics And Flees
Calls And Hears
"Reveal as much as you can to him, my baybee," Whispers Ka'aumuali'i
"He knows- inside- but doesn't want to listen- he's torn
Between the old and the new
Between his old religious programming and this-
This- wild creature he's become-
Which is reflected in you-
You mirror his primal self"
Down on my knees
Begging the dawn
To be ever-so-kind-enough
To serve me tea- I rise
Open sores of the soul
Are never pretty
Then again
My Grandmother said "never say never"........
If seen in the right light,
I guess...... hummmmm......
Do I want to know,
She thinks, picking up the phone with only
Slightly trembling resolve
Look straight into those
Scary swells.
I could not stand it
Seeing her from afar
Doing her exercises.
She was crazy to do that, there, on the cliff edge
What did she think that she was doing?
I trembled, I shivered, I tried to look away, I couldn't, I
Asked to see everything
Begged to see all of it
Supplanted to her, at her feet all my seeds would lay,
and inside of her,
and all around her,you
know, anywhere
Everywhere she wanted them
There they would be- my seeds
I'd rub them into her body- I'd
Seize her as I do the
day
Not wanting to EVEN
Let go.
"They're laughing at you" they said- and
I said: "Good. Laughter is good for the soul"
Ever the fool
She rises. full of her own sweat and foolishness.
She eats pigs for breakfast and calls them curry
She becomes alive with reasons to become a holy woman.
Who'duh known, she'd be SO TIRED
Who'duh known, she'd be SLEEPING IN SUGAR CANE FIELDS AGAIN
Who'duh known, she'd be UNAFRAID TO BE AT THE BEACH ALL DAY, ALONE
WITH NO MONEY, AND NO HOPE OF
FRIENDSHIP.
Dancing with fools, believing.
She
wrapped her legs around
The
end-tips of his boots and
Sighed
aloud at the glorious Day