07/10/01 Wow, yesterday ended up being REAL shitty. Mike posted this on LS1.com today:
As you all know I've been working towards recovery from illness, and I've come to a good solid place now where I've made some progress. I take some steps backwards, and I take some forward, but yesterday almost fell down the stairs - practically almost died.
I was improving very well, and getting strong then all of the sudden yesterday I got sick. I was vomiting and it was getting much worse over a period of 2-3 hours. I eventually realized this had nothing to do with my "current" ailments, but was probably related to low immunity and either viral, or bacterial. Well this ended up sending me to the ER. I was in the ER for about 9 hours, but of course I went to a good hospital that I've been treated at numerous times. They took me in immediately, and gave me some medication for the vomiting (I usually refuse medication, and don't use them usually unless it's crucial and this was). The doctor ensured me it was low toxicity, and would ease my pain until they had a better understanding of what was happening. I agreed - well it turned out to be a viral infection (Nope a doctor didn't tell me this to my face but I heard them talking in the hall "whispering" about my case, and Rotavirus came up). I assumed it was a rotavirus anyway, but not initially. The doctors didn't literally tell me but I knew as my fever went through the roof after laying down for about 7 hours. It was a Rotavirus - probably got it through water or something along those lines and my immunity is low. Children usually get this virus during their first few years, and each year it kills nearly one million.
I literally thought I was going to die - I've come close many times to death, but this time I thought I was finished. Today I'm out of the hospital, and I'm still sick, but not as bad - my face has a million blown capillaries that look like Gin blossoms from all the vomiting, and my eyes are sunken in like a corpse and the rings of skin around my eyes still look awfully black, but I'm still here - It will heal, and I will heal.
Usually a bout like this would have broken me psychologically. I've been broken before with bouts like this, but this was the worst - it normally would take me a few weeks to bounce back (Most never bounce back) so I'm proud of my resilence. They also found another Kidney stone in my right kidney which wasn't surprising since I'd told the doctors including my Urologist about 15 times that I had another stone (I've had 7 stones in the past 5 months). Anyway this is long enough, but I wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive and breathing. This ER visit is proof I am getting strong mentally as I work on that part of me. I am not broken, and I will beat this disease - I will cure myself.
It's funny I told Sue as I was going into the ER that I felt like the "bad guy" from Unbreakable - like I always get broken... Not this time though... Please support me, and let me know you guys have my back. Thanks...
That was what he wrote today. It frightened me so much to see hm go through what he did yesterday. He stared at me once and I flipped because he looked like a zombie, and he kept staring at me. I was worried something else was wrong with him, something a lot more serious. I didn't cry, but inside I was scared. I just knew that I had to stay by his side and be strong, because he sure as hell couldn't give himself any support. What a day.
Today I sent this in to my Human Resources guy at work:
Hello Denis,
I am running into issues with taking sick days for myself since I no longer have any personal days. Michael Parent, my significant other, has been out on Long Term Disability (this you know). Within the past few months he has gone through multiple kidney stones, resulting in him either having to go to the ER, or just recently, having a lithotripsy done. He is not in contact with his relatives for personal reasons which I will not disclose. As a result, I am left as the only person who can drive him to the ER or to the hospital to have a procedure done.
An example of this was just yesterday. Michael became extremely ill, vomiting literally seven times in two hours, and had diarrhea. This was around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I had already called out for a half sick day. I drove him to Johnson Memorial Hospital in Stafford Springs, CT, where he was given medication for nausea and had a number of tests run on him (cat scan, urine sample, etc). We ended up being there approximately 8 or 9 hours since we arrived, and when I heard it was 8pm - I called here to take another half sick day.
My concern is that since I no longer have personal days left, and I have already used one vacation day as an emergency, I am at a loss for what to do next should he become ill again. I do not even have enough sick days left for myself, should anything happen to me. This is a serious concern for myself, and for Michael. This seems to happen at least a couple times each month, and (obviously) it is unexpected.
Please let me know what I can do about this. I do not want anything to happen as a result of my taking days off for medical emergencies with Michael, nor do I want anything to happen to him if I am at work and no one can get him to the hospital. There is about half a year left, and anything can happen within that time period. Thank you in advance.
I think that sounds good. Wonder if I should start a message board. =)
07/13/01 Wow, all sorts of shit has been going on since I last posted in here. The letter up above which I wrote to my HR Director? I got a response:
"Hi - unfortunately, Family Medical Leave Act does not cover this as you are not married to Mike. The time missed will be considered an occurrence under the attendance guidelines (WHICH MEANS IF I TAKE TOO MANY DAYS I CAN BE FIRED) - The personal days are given for situations like this - In your case they are gone - Vacation needs to be scheduled in advance which I realize is not possible. You may want to speak with Kara in regards to your vacation. I am not guaranteeing anything can be done - let me know - thanks"
Now that in my mind is fucking bullshit. He didn't even address the issue at hand really. Here are some responses I have gotten so far:
1) That's utter BULLSHIT!!!!!! When my grandmother was dying, they went ahead and marked it as paid vacation, but I still have my earned days left!
2) Damn Sue, that sucks.
3) Time to get hitched!
4)Let me translate what this really means. We are looking for a reason to get rid of you,So if you take time off please consider this your notice. If they liked you it would be no problem to let you have time off.
5) What a bunch of fags
So then I responded with a few things...
1) I see nothing here about marriage, unless I am looking in the wrong place...
EMPLOYEE ELIGIBILITY
To be eligible for FMLA benefits, an employee must:
(1) work for a covered employer;
(2) have worked for the employer for a total of 12 months;
(3) have worked at least 1,250 hours over the previous 12 months; and
(4) work at a location in the United States or in any territory or possession of the United States where at least 50 employees are employed by the employer within 75 miles.
Granted, this does not say you have to be married, but it does say "spouse." What I don't see in writing though is an employee must be married or something to that sort. I have been with Mike for almost 4 years (March 6th).
5.00 FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE
5.01 Applicability
Rules 5.01 through 5.11 are administered in accordance with regulations issued by the U.S. Department of Labor under the authority of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993, and applicable state law. The FMLA provides an entitlement of up to 12 weeks of job-protected, unpaid leave during any 12 months for the following reasons. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts provides for its full-time and part-time employees an unpaid leave of absence of up to 52 weeks for those same reasons:
Birth and care of the employee's child or placement for adoption or foster care of a child with an employee;
To care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, parent) who has a serious health condition; or
For the employee's own serious health condition.
I am not married to Mike, but he has been out of work for over a year, seen NUMEROUS doctors, been in the hospital NUMEROUS times, and I am the only person here for him, and the only person who has taken him to the hospital, Dr.'s, etc. Basically, you could say I am his provider/caretaker.
Under the UNLAWFUL ACTS section it says:
It is unlawful for any employer to interfere with, restrain, or deny the exercise of any right provided by FMLA. It is also unlawful for an employer to discharge or discriminate against any individual for opposing any practice, or because of involvement in any proceeding, related to FMLA.
I don't *think* my employer is trying to deny or restrain me from using the FMLA, but he didn't provide me with any resources or documentation as to why, except that he said I am not married to Mike.
I'm confused.
More replies:
6) Have you two lived together for more than a year (if you live together at all...)? If so, perhaps there is a "common-law marriage" rule in your state. By filling out a form at the department of motor vehicles, at least here in Colorado, you become legally married in the eyes of the state. You would then be protected by the 'spousal laws' that your company is trying to bypass. Just a thought, but this worked for me and my significant other when applying for a V.A. home loan several years ago. It never really seemed real to me, but the state had to live up to it's side of the agreement.
7) That's an idea Sue, common law, you've been living together over 3 years. Maybe.
8) Fuck that guy.
9) Not to be disrespectful, but I'm reading between the lines that what they are saying is "You've missed too much work already, you're not valuable enough to us to make allowances, if you miss any more work (reference to "treated as occurrences") we will start down the road to getting rid of you." I think I'd be looking for another job as you probably won't last long at this one if your significant other gets sick again.
So now I am looking into a few things:
I also posted about it here. I only wish tomorrow were a weekday so I could find a lawyer, but I suppose this will give me time to do more research. I can't believe I am looking into all of this at only 22 years old. Oh well. Not everyone can live a life that matches their age I suppose.
Hey, look at that, the pictures that usually go down the side of posts have run out! I'm sure this will be a long week ahead of me.
07/14/01 Ya know, someone here at work said something that completely sums up how I feel about this place (except for the vacation thing he mentions):
You know, every day, I wonder how I'll make it through another 8 hours. Every day I do, but every day it gets just a little harder. I have one hour left today, but it feels like I'm never going to get out of here. It'll be a little better on Tuesday, but by next Saturday, it will be worse than today. I'm taking vacation time in two weeks, and I'm going to use most of that time to find another job. I can't do this shit anymore.
That is EXACTLY how I feel. I'm starting to feel like I'm in the fucked up version of Office Space.
6:13 PM I am still really stressed out, but for some reason I don't feel like I am. That's kinda weird. When Monday comes around I'm going to call my insurance company and ask about counselors (or whatever the job title is these days) in my area. I think it will help to have someone, a 3rd neutral party, to talk to and relieve some stress. These days I feel completely out of whack and off balance. I am so tired right now, and I don't have an appetite. More than likely it is me being stressed out that's doing that. Actually, some corn chowder should would be yummy right about now.
6:25 PM Damn. I was planning on writing something in here and now I just blanked out. I hate when that happens. Wait, I remember now. I'm gonna make a new page that has links and funny cartoons (which update daily by themselves). I had one on my old page. Actually, I still have it. It's located here. When I feel up to it, or whenever I don't have to look at 218 e-mails waiting to be answered, I'll start it.
07/16/01 Oh my fucking god. I absolutely cannot believe what happened today. A friend of mine has a mailing list which he runs on his own server. He was fired because a "lurker" printed out an e-mail, brought it to a supervisor, and the supervisor brought it to the call center manager (read: the head honcho, the big kahuna, etc).
I fucking hate where I work now and I am looking for a new job as we speak.
Mind you there will probably be more firings as we go along today.
Here is how we all found out:
Well it's official . . . You now need to watch what you say on this list very carefully. Apparently Greg's spam list has been made *** property, and thus under *** rules and regulations your email may be closely monitored by people like Ed *********, who was so kind as to hand John ********* one of the emails that I sent recently.
I am now officially separated from employment, and Stefan is probably next on the list.
Now, on the subject of what I'm going to do now... Sue. Oh yes. I was fired for posting a private conversation to a private list that was not handled by, nor sponsored by **.
I'm going to seek an attorney immediately.
Fucking sonofabitch this is a shitty day.
I posted this on a message board I visit regularly. These are the responses I had:
1) Lesson: Watch what you say on public record.
2) ILLEAGAL!!!!!!!!!!!
3) If he posted it from a computer at work, it is, by law, considered property of the company. Whenever you use a computer owned by somone else but you, any data originating from it or stored on it is considered their property. If you'd like I can find some links to stories about this ... %99 of the time, the company always wins. Any data traffic that goes through your organizations computers is reguarded as theirs, so legally they can spy on their employees at will.
4) The moral of the story is: Never post anything on the internet you don't feel comfortable with the fact that somone else may be reading it. Never post anything from a computer at work if you have the slightest notion that somone else there might be watching, reading the same list, and/or sniffing actual network traffic to look for people who are not following company policy. Don't be surprised if somone fires you for posting messages to privatley owned boards from your work machine. Cold hard reality here ... heh
5) That bitch of a co-worker has some beats coming to em... I would packet his ass to hell, then blow up his house. I'd be more creative but it's Monday morning.
6) Our society is a democratic one that gives its citizens a guarantee of fundamental, inalienable rights......but unfortunately, you're expected to check in the Bill of Rights when you walk in the door at work... The Fuhrer would be proud.
7) Ok, so let me get this straight: This is a mailing list, ubb, whatever ... that is located on a server not owned by the company, or affiliated in any way. It's just that a lot of the companies employees use it for their own personal reasons, etc. The way I understand this is, a co-worker who read that list printed out a message by another co-worker who also participated in the list. Co-worker #1 posted a bunch of his thoughts about the company he was employed by, etc ... and Co-worker #2 printed it out and showed it to the bossman. Now ... If this post ORIGINATED from his own personal computer, then he was wrongly fired. If it originated from a computer at work, then the company has the right to fire him. I guess I'm just wondering if he thinks he's going to win a lawsuite against the company for wrongful termination ... cuz it doesn't sound like he would win at all. But, if he posted it from his home computer, then he could easily sue them ... What exactly is the situation with where the post initially was posted from?
8) The reason I keep wondering where it came from, is because if he files a lawsuit and can prove that it originated from a computer and network outside the company (read home computer) then he can file a wrongful termination suite, because you can bitch and moan and gripe about whatever and/or whoever you want in this country. We do have that silly little thing called "Free Speech" and all. Therefore, as long as he could prove that this post (via IP logs, webserver logs, network traffic logs, whatever it took) originated from an email/ip/physical/whatever address that was his, he would stand a very good chance of winning both a wrongful termination suit and also probably he could snake some other ones in there if his lawyer was greedy enough ... Then what would happen if he won, since I'm sure he wouldn't want to work for the same place, he could sue them for backpay and whatever else he could get, and then also receive unemployment from them. It all just revolves around where he posted the message from.
So I responded with a couple of things.
I have just now heard that criminal charges are being brought against him. GOD this is so fucking lame!!