If you're like me, you like a godd joke, now n' then. So I got this page goin' on. My sense of humor may not be that great--I mean I can't really carry that great of a joke. So, you're jokes are welcome. Mad props go out to my friend Kate, who's gonna hook me up with the majority--if not all--of the jokes on this page. Anyways, I gotta, buzz! until later . . . Here's some jokes to boot. for later.

TONTO'S OBSERVATIONS

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping in the desert. They set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, The Lone Ranger woke his faithful friend. "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see" Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked The Lone Ranger. Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What it tell you Kemosabe?" The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Tonto, you stupid ass, someone has stolen our tent."

"One thing at a time"

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent. "The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady comes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good!!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

THE LAST CONFESSION

Pat was dying. His wife, Kristi, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling Kristi," he whispered. "Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk." He was insistent. "Kristi," he said in his tired voice. "I...I Have something I must confess to you." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Kristi. "Everything's all right, go to sleep." "No, no. I must die in peace, Kristi. I...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know," Kristi whispered softly. "That's why I poisoned you."

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

A lovely little girl was entering school for the first time when a friendly little boy approached her. "My name's Ted," he said, "what's yours?" "Happy Butt," the little girl replied. "I'm going to tell the teacher what you said," and he did. "What is your name," asked the concerned teacher. "Happy Butt," replied the girl. "Shame on you for lying," exclaimed the teacher, "I'm going to send you to the principal so you can explain yourself." "Why are you here?" asked the principal. "They think I'm lying when I tell them my name is Happy Butt." the little girl explained. "Well, your name can't be Happy Butt," the principal protested, "so I'm going to call your mother and straighten this out. You mustn't lie to us about your name." The principal made the call and said, "We have your daughter here and she keeps telling us her name is 'Happy Butt.'" "Oh," said the mother, "that must be Gladys." "Young lady," the principal growled, "your mother says your name is Gladys." The little girl smiled and said, "Happy Butt, Glad Ass, what's the difference?

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