WKRP in Cincinnati is about a radio station and the people who work at it. Johnny Fever (Plato) is the super-cool Dj. Jennifer (Bombalurina) is the sectretary who likes to date older men and then accept the millions of gifts they shower upon her. Les Nessman (Mistoffelees) is a slightly dorky news reporter. Bailey (Demeter) is a friendly editor or something. Randy Travis (Alonzo) is the programmer or something (it's not real clear). Venus Flytrap (Munkustrap) is the nighttime Dj. Mr Carlson (Old Deuteronomy) is the station manager - bit of a strange one. Steel makes a one-time appearance in this eppy. If anyone wants, I'll convert some of the other eppies too.
(Setting: Recording room. Plato sits at desk, Mistoffelees is behind him and obviously angry about something, Bombalurina is adjusting the calendar.) Mistoffelees: Fine! (stomps out) Bombalurina: Oh, now look what you did! (steps outside, begins to shut door) Plato: Why is everyone so angry today?! Bombalurina: (steps back in) Because I've fallen in love - or at least infatuated - for once in my life and the guy's dirt poor! He's young and hasn't a dime - and after all those wealthy old Toms I've dated! (storms out again) (Scene change to Old Deuteronomy's office. He an Alonzo sit behind a desk, talking about finances.) Alonzo: Okay, let's imagine this company is a train. Old Deuteronomy: Okay. (starts shaking up and down in his chair making 'choo-choo' noises) Alonzo: The train is at the station. It's all ready to go, but there's no fuel. Old Deuteronomy: Oh. (stops shaking) Alonzo: Now, the 'fuel' is money. That's all we need. See, if we had the money - you can start boucing again if you want--- Old Deuteronomy: Okay. (does so) Alonzo: Now, all we do--- Mistoffelees: (suddenly shoves open the door and walks in) I need more pay! Old Deuteronomy: What? Mistoffelees: I have been a devoted newsman to this station for years! Did I go to the New York Times? Nooooo. When Chicago wanted me to do an undercover story? Nooooo. Did I--- Alonzo: Uhm, Misto? Could you come back later? We're kind of busy. Mistoffelees: Sure. (walks out) Alonzo: Okay. Now, we're on the train, remember? Old Deuteronomy: Right. (begins bouncing) (Scene change to the lobby, where Bombalurina and Demeter sit behind a desk. Bombalurina is painting Demeter's nails and gushing about her new boyfriend. Plato is doing various things in the background.) Bombalurina: He's got this beautiful fur.... Demeter: Ohhh... Plato: (looks over, interested) Bombalurina: And the most gorgeous dark eyes.... Demeter: Oohhh.... Plato: (struts a little) Bombalurina: And the cutest - well, I can't say it. Demeter: Oh, please! Plato: (is VERY interested) Bombalurina: The...the cutest little rear end! Demeter: Oohhh! Plato: (looks puzzled and touches his bottom as he walks out) Bombalurina: He's the maintenance Tom at my apartment building. He came up to fix my refridgerator - and, well.... (smiles) He's coming by my house this evening - all of my cabinet doors somehow stuck shut. His name's...Rum Tum Tugger. Demeter: Rum Tum Tugger? Ooohhhh myyy.... (swoons as she walks out) (Scene change to Bombalurina's apartment. Bombalurina is dressed in slinky clothes, setting out drinks. The doorbell rings.) Doorbell: (plays a tune I can't name) Bombalurina: (opens door) Rum Tum Tugger: I was told all you cabinets got stuck shut. (grins knowingly) Bombalurina: (shuts door and kisses Rum Tum Tugger) You're beautiful! Rum Tum Tugger: So are you! Bombalurina: And you've got such a cute butt! Rum Tum Tugger: Yours is cuter! (they move in front of mirror) Both: We're gorgeous! Doorbell: (plays that tune again) Bombalurina: (sighs and gets the door) Mistoffelees: Bomba? Bomba, I want you to talk to Old Deuteronomy for me. Oh, who's your friend? I hope I'm not intterupting anything.... Bombalurina: Um...no! (takes Mistoffelees' hat and gloves, folding gloves neatly inside hat) This is--- Rum Tum Tugger: Rum Tum Tugger. Mistoffelees: Oh. That's a very nice name. Rum Tum Tugger: Thanks. I like to think a name says a lot about the kind of person you are. Uh, what was your name again? Mistoffelees: Mistoffelees. Rum Tum Tugger: (snorts) Mistoffelees: Well, anyway, Bombalurina - can you talk to Old Deuteronomy for me? Bombalurina: Yes - would you like a drink? Mistoffelees: Yes, alright. Now, just don't tell him I asked you to, okay? Bombalurina: Sure. (hands him a drink) Why do you want me to talk to him? Mistoffelees: Well, you've got the highest-paying job there--- Rum Tum Tugger: Really? Mistoffelees: Oh, sure! Bomba makes loads of money. Rum Tum Tugger: But honey, I thought you said you were just the receptionist. Mistoffelees: At WKRP, that's the highest-paying job. Rum Tum Tugger: Really.... Mistoffelees: Well, I've got to be going. (gulps down drink) Bombalurina: Um, Misto? Mistoffelees: Yes? Bombalurina: That's a Catnip martini. Mistoffelees: (sways a little) Newsmen do drink, you know! (shoves hat on his head, gloves still inside it before leaving in a huff) Rum Tum Tugger: We're alone. Bombalurina: Finally. (kisses him) Doorbell: (plays tune) Bombalurina: (sighs and opens door to reveal Mistoffelees) Mistoffelees: (starts running to the bathroom) It's on it's way back up! (Scene change to Mistoffelees' 'office' - a little corner with a desk and phone and all, but an imaginary door. Mistoffelees sits at his desk, looking nervous.) Munkustrap: (enters, wearing a wrapped hat like people of the Middle East do) Hey Misto. Like the hat? (grins) Mistoffelees: Yes, very nice Munku. Could you do me a favour? Munkustrap: Sure man, what is it? (opens and closes imaginary door as he comes into Mistoffelees' office) Mistoffelees: Could you talk to Old Deuteronomy for me? I need more pay, and he won't listen. Munkustrap: No prob, but why do you think he'll listen to me? Mistoffelees: Because you're.... Argh! This doesn't work! (sighs) Munkustrap isn't black, he isn't a deserter form the army, his name isn't Venus Flytrap.... (shakes head and cuts to another scene) (Scene change to the lobby. Demeter sits behind the desk, Bombalurina's place. Plato is strutting around, looking more groomed than usual.) Demeter: Can I help you, Plato? Plato: Well, uh, sure. Where'd Bomba go? Demeter: She went for lunch. I'm just sitting in for her. Plato: Oh. (pauses) Hey, did she tell you anything else about...you know, him? Demeter: You mean, the love of Bombalurina's life? Plato: (nods) Demeter: No.... Oh Plato, you don't think it's you, do you? Plato: Well.... It isn't? Demeter: (shakes head) I'm sorry. Plato: (looks crestfallen) Wait, then who is it? Alonzo: (walks in) Demeter, when will Bombalurina be back? Demeter: She just went for lunch, should be back any minute now. Alonzo: Oh, okay. (turns to leave) Plato: (grabs Alonzo's tail) It's him! It's Alonzo isn't it? Alonzo: Huh? Demeter: (laughs) No Plato, it's not him. Plato: (lets go of Alonzo's tail) Alonzo: (hurries out) Plato: It's got to be someone around here.... (wanders off) Bombalurina: (runs in) Dem, cover for me one more minute, I need to talk to Old Deuteronomy. Demeter: Oh, alright. (Scene change to the indside of Old Deuteronomy's office - the only REAL office in the place. Old Deuteronomy sits behind his desk, playing with some pencils.) Bombalurina: Old Deuteronomy, I need to talk to you. Old Deuteronomy: Really? Alright, Bombalurina, what is it? Bombalurina: I need some help. Rum Tum Tugger and I broke up. Old Deuteronomy: Why? Bombalurina: He suddenly had a problem with his car. Said it would cost TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. ((Note: This is in the seventies. Two hundred dollars was more then. That's what parents keep griping about.)) He said I should just give him the money, since I had it! Old Deuteronomy: So he's a gold digger, like you. Bombalurina: I know! It's horrible! I'm no better than he is! (starts sobbing on Old Deuteronomy's shoulder) Old Deuteronomy: (smiles) Yes you are, you're MUCH better than he. Bombalurina: Oh, thank you...you're like a father to everyone at the station. Plato: (steps in) Bombalurina: I love you! (hugs Old Deuteronomy) Plato: (curses) I knew it was someone! Bombalurina: (walks out, smiling and feeling better) Plato: Uhm, Old D.? Old Deuteronomy: Yes Plato? Plato: Could you...turn around for me? (Scene change to Mistoffelees' office. Alonzo opens imaginary door, walks in, and leans against the wall.) Alonzo: I was thinking what you said about needing a raise, Misto. Mistoffelees: Really? Alonzo: Yes. And I've decided that if you shut up about it I'll give you ten extra dollars a week. Mistoffelees: Okay! Thank you! Alonzo: (grins) Out of my own pocket money. (sighs) Old Deuteronomy: (comes in by way of the still-open imaginary door) Mistoffelees, you're going to get that raise you wanted. Mistoffelees: I am? Old Deuteronomy: Yes. Ten extra dollars a week. Mistoffelees: Oh, this is great! Ten dollars from you, ten dollars from Alonzo, that's twenty dollars! (jogs off, happy) Old Deuteronomy: I have to go see if Mother has the four thousand we wanted for the station. (follows Mistoffelees) Alonzo: (stares after him) I have to get out of here. (leaves the office, shutting the imaginary door behind him) I have to.
