I guess the best place to start is with my living situation. I am a 51 year old gay white male. I am the youngest of 5 children. I have 3 older sisters and one older brother.

Approximately 9 years ago my Dad passed away at the age of 77. His passing left my Mom all alone at the age of 76. Shortly after his passing my Mom took ill and it has been one problem after another. It became obvious that Mom could not live alone.

Being gay and having no children I felt it was best that Mom come live with me. I thought this would make it easier on everyone. I had hoped that I would get some kind of support from my sisters and my brother. Trying to get them to help is like pulling teeth. They do nothing but complain about the little that they do, do.

My Mom is going to be 86 on Feb 1st and early stage dementia has set in. She has a hard time remembering things. She is also legally blind and has congestive heart failure, so she has a hard time breathing making it difficult to get around but she really tries hard. One sister wants to put her in a nursing home, another moved to Florida to escape the situation and the other one is too busy being the queen bee of the family to care. My brother uses the excuse that he is married and is too busy to get involved.

The only crime that my Mom committed is that she got old. I don't feel it is medically necessary for her to be in a nursing home so I refuse to put her in one. She still gets up every day and dresses herself. She feeds herself (this could be dangerous because I do the cooking) and she gets around with a walker. She needs a little help with her personal care and hygiene, but nothing major.

In order for me to continue to work I need someone to stay with her while I am working. At first the sisters were willing to help, but now that it has turned into years, things have changed. Slowly they each pull back, more and more. Last summer I had to leave work for 3 months in order to keep her safe. Things got better in the Fall, however, I feel I will be in the same boat once summer rolls around again.

I just don't understand how any child, no matter what age, can turn their back on their own parent. My parents were great to us kids. We got a house to live in, clothes to wear and 3 meals a day until we were ready to go out on our own. No questions asked. There is a major problem in this country when it comes to respecting the elderly. So many of us just toss them aside like a rag doll and go on about life like they were never there. I once read somewhere, where the best classroom is at the feet of the elderly. I couldn't agree more.

I love you Mom and thanks...Dave