Love software

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 INSTALLING LOVE 

 Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE? 
 
 Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am 
 ready 
 to install now. What do I do first? 
 
 CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located 
 your HEART ma'am? 
 
 Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right 
 now. Is it okay to install while they are running? 
 
 CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am? 
 
 Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, 
 GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. 
 
 CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE 
 from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent 
 memory, 
 but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually 
 overwrite 
 LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you 
 have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs 
 prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? 
 
 Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? 
 
 CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke 
 FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and 
 RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased. 
 
 Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself 
 automatically. Is that normal? 
 
 CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will 
 reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message? 
 
 Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? 
 
 CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You 
 need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades. 
 
 Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I 
 do? 
 
 CS Rep: What does the message say? 
 
 Customer: It says "ERROR 412 PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL 
 COMPONENTS." What does that mean? 
 
 CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that 
 the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet 
 been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, 
 but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine 
 before it can "LOVE" others. 
 
 Customer: So what should I do? 
 
 CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELFACCEPTANCE"? 
 
 Customer: Yes, I have it. 
 
 CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this. 
 
 Customer: Thank you. 
 
 CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy 
 them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, 
 REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any 
 conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you 
 need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your 
 recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes 
 back. 
 
 Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat 
 files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that 
 WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over 
 my HEART! 
 
 CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to 
 handle it from here. One more thing before I go... 
 
 Customer: Yes? 
 
 CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various 
 modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other 
 people 
 and they will return some really neat modules back to you. 
 
 Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.