Marriage
1Co: 7:3: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1Co: 7:4: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
These verses have been so misused that people who are trying to live as a Christian family are being lead down roads that are dead ends. We as Christians are not to put things even marriage as the most important thing in life. Our Christ is, and must come before our spouse in order for the Lord to bless our marriage.
The married couple is to render to the other the power of their body, but this is based on a Christian attitude. This will not work with worldly people since they will maliciously use the others body for their own needs and desires. When a Christian gives the power over their own body to their partner, the partner cares for them more than for themselves. We at that point would not consider using the other to serve our needs but in turn fill each other's needs. This is foolishness to the world but life in Christ to a Christian.
If you are going for marriage counseling with your spouse and you are taking your marriage to a worldly person, you will never be fulfilled since they cannot understand the principles the Lord has set down for his own.
1Co: 7:13: And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co: 7:14: For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy
The unbelieving spouse is sanctified by the believer. Sanctified not necessarily saved which means that they are made to behave in a manner that is acceptable to a Christian. A person who is sanctified will not necessarily want to become a Christian, but they will be held at a higher standard of life because the believing spouse promotes it. This relationship allows the children to grow in a Christian life style and relationship with Christ. The children will be led astray otherwise by the non-Christian for nothing else than to punish the Christian for the divorce. The non-Christian is not going to care more for the children than for his own needs, such as getting even.
1Co: 7:15: But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
A Christian would have a hard time to fall in love with someone who didn't want them to express themselves about their first love. As a Christian we are to keep Christ as our first love and if we marry someone who isn't a Christian, odds are that we were not in love with Christ either. Most of the time people find that the marriage was not going well and find the Lord when they are in the valley of despair, this is where all people come to Christ is in dyer need. When this happens they can find that they involved themselves with a spouse who has no desire to know their Savior.
At times like this the unbeliever will leave because they have nothing in common with the believer. Christians are not under any bondage in these cases. We are to place our Christ as the most important thing in our life not our marriage. If we find that we cannot be married and still serve our Lord, then we should leave the marriage to stay with our Savior. This is not a method for seeking divorce to marry another person that we decided we would prefer, since this means the Lord is not your first love but you are.
1Co: 7:16: For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
The Lord could use you to save your spouse in a marriage, but then you must be a light. Remember that your first love must be Christ and if you cannot serve Christ in this relationship because your spouse is forcing you to live wrong, then you must choose between Christ and your spouse. My Lord must always come first and then we can be a light. But we can only be a light to those who are seeking to find their way, not to those who are blind. The blind have a different master and do not understand the ways of Christ. They understand the way of their father Satan who was a murderer and liar from the beginning.
If you are believer in a marriage to a none believer you will not be a light to your spouse by preaching, but by living. We are supposed to walk, as Christians not just talk. There is probably no greater blockade to Christ than a hypocrite or self-righteous individual. If you are to be a light then you must put Christ in front and follow. Do not try to tell the Lord what to do because he rules not us. We are to follow him and accept his will, not have him accept ours.
On the other hand if you have been serving your spouse and trying everyway possible to get them to accept you, and you have found yourself in a relationship with someone else, do not worry. Since you placed your spouse above Christ, you are not a Christian so it does not matter if you make little sins like divorce since you have put an idol above the Lord. Without Christ being first in your life you are going to hell, so it does not matter if you have other sins, since you're going to hell anyway.
You see you cannot be a Christian and serve two masters. If you're a Christian then you have to put Christ first because that is his place in your life. If he is not first in your life then you are not in a saving relationship with him. If you put Christ first in your life you will find your relationship's will be much more meaningful. They will be as they should be for Christ. This does not mean that your spouse will be as you want, but the Lord will be doing mighty works in the relationship. The majority of the world will refuse the blood of Christ in the end. It would not be that hard to believe that some of us could have married one of them. But with Christ first in your life you will become a new creature that will be a light to the world.
1Tm: 2:12: But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1Tm: 2:13: For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1Tm: 2:14: And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
God has placed standards to follow in the marriage and one of those is the man is the head. This does not enable a wicked person to rule over a Christian in wickedness, but does give standards for us to follow. The woman is to accept that the man is placed as head, but this was intended for a marriage to be the best it can be by following God's rules. The man is to place Christ as the most important person in his life. This means he will be a new creature and lead his family in the way the Lord intended. The woman is to be a helpmate for the man, not a hindrance on her own mission in life. If she cannot be a helpmate to a Christian man, then she is probably hindering his relationship with Christ. Under this set of problems it is best to follow Christ because marriage is only for this life. Christ is eternal, and all things in this life should lead to Christ.
Not all Christians will find resolutions for their marriage, however they will have the most meaningful life possible if they put Christ first. We still do not necessarily get what we desire, but we will not be given more than we can tolerate if we walk with Christ. Let's remember that it is the walk with our Savior that gives our life meaning.
