Monique went onto her AOL account the day before they were leaving for Tulsa. She was bombarded with E-mails from struggling fans who couldn’t deal with the fact that Taylor had killed himself. Every night the fans would watch the news just to see how many people had killed themselves. It had been only eight days since that tragic day and fourteen had followed in his footsteps. “How am I supposed to answer these questions? Don’t they understand that I am going through pain as well?” Monique said to her computer. Most of the E-mails read basically the same.
I need help. As you know Taylor has killed himself. I don’t know what to do. Should I do the same or what? My life is totally not worth living at this point in time. Taylor Hanson and also the band Hanson was my life, my soul, my reason for living. Did the fans do something wrong? Were we too pushy? It was probably my fault I know it is. I always do something wrong. None of my family is willing to help me so I am turning to you, Hanson High. Your newsletter always bring me so much joy and I love reading it so that is why I’m turning to you. I can understand if you don’t’ want to, but please try. I hope I am alive to read your reply. Thanks a lot. RIP Taylor my love.
Signed.....Destroyed without any hope
While Monique was reading through those painful E-mails from Hanson fans around the world April was packing. The day before they had bought two dozens yellow pansies. They were going to be there for three days to mourn the death with fellow fans. It didn’t seem real at all. These past eight days had been like a dream. A dream that would forever been in their memories. A dream that wouldn’t have a fairytale ending. These where times that both girls were glad that they had each other. “Hey April when is Amy getting here?” Monique called from the computer room of her father’s apartment.
“She should be here soon. Its almost three o’clock. So how is the E-mails coming?” Aprils said walking into the computer room and sitting down next to Monique. Monique didn’t say anything, but just pointed to the computer where it showed the number of E-mails that she had left. It read 300. “Wow. I wonder how much I have? I can’t believe people are actually turning to us for help. Now this really does feel like a school.” The door bell rang and April got up and answered it. “Hey Amy how have you been?” You could tell that she was in a lot of pain by the expression on her face.
“I’ve been better. So where is my cousin?” She said walking into the apartment and putting her bags on the living room couch. April pointed to the computer. “Geez she is still on that thing.” She laughed a little at her own stupid sarcasm and walked to the computer room. “Hey Monique how’s it hanging?” Monique looked up from her computer where she was typing an E-mail to a girl who was in desperate need of a shoulder to cry on.
“Hi when did you get here?”
“Like a seconds ago. So whatcha doing?”
“Oh I’m just checking my-mail. Ever since Taylor died April and I have been getting so much E-mail asking for help. Its so overwhelming. I can’t believe how many lives he actually touched. This one girl that I am writing to now practically is on the verge of a mental breakdown. I feel like if I don’t help her nobody will and she might kill herself.” Monique said putting her head down on the desk. She took a breath and returned to her work. Yet again tears filled her eyes as she read more E-mails from members of the newsletter. I can’t believe this is happening. Why’d you have to leave us Taylor? Monique thought to herself.
Meanwhile Amy and April were in the kitchen making lunch for the three of them. Their flight would leave the next day at seven AM so they had to get to the airport by almost six. Both Amy and April hadn’t said a word to each other. They kept busy by making the sandwiches.
“Hey Mo get off the computer and lets eat.” April called walking into the living room. She looked at the clock and it read 4:30. “Oh man exactly eight days since e Taylor did that horrible thing to himself.” April looked at Amy and both had a single tear fall from their faces. “I can’t believe he did that to himself. Hey has anyone heard anything on if they found out why he might of done it?” April looked at Monique and Amy who were sitting around the coffee table.
“Yeah I did. When I was in the car on the way here. The guy on the radio said that the police and family had found something in a journal entry. When I heard his name I turned it up. He said something like “the stress of being a musician is so unbearable. I can’t keep putting myself last and my fans first. I love my fans to death but I should be more considerate of myself and my family. We are working way to hard and pushing ourselves to extreme positions we are getting so tired. I don’t know how much more I can take of this.”
“Wow. That is so weird. I always thought that they were sorta well rested.” Monique said as she took a bite out of her sandwich. Then the phone rang. “I’ll get it.” She got up and went to the phone and picked it up. “Hello?”
“Monique is that you?” The voice on the other end said.
“Yeah it is. Who is this?”
“Oh yeah its April’s mom. I just need to give you guys a message. Is Amy there yet?”
“Yeah she is.”
“Hey Mo who is on the phone.” April asked.
“Its your mom hold on. Go on Mrs. Hogan.”
“Well I got you guys a plane tickets to Tulsa for today so you don’t have to wait all of that time before you leave. If you guys want to go we have to leave in two hours to get there on time.”
“Um I have to call my mom and stuff but its OK with me.”
“OK call her and get back to me or whatever.” April’s mom said as she hung up the telephone. Monique walked over to the table and told the girls what the new plan was.
“I gotta call my mom and ask her if its OK if I can leave today.” Monique said. She dialed her mother’s phone number and talked to her for about fifteen minutes before she hung it up. “I can go. Amy you should call your uncle.” She said handing the phone to her.
“Yeah I guess you are right.” She dialed the phone number. “My uncle says I can go. So now what do we do?”
“Let me call my mom back and tell her that its OK. Wow I can’t believe that we are going so early. This is the most saddest thing that I have ever had to do in my life.” April said dialing her telephone number. “My mother is coming to get us now so lets get the stuff outside.” The girls started to move their bags out to Monique’s front porch. The last thing that all of them did was carry out the two dozen pansies. Each of them sighed as they stood outside. Just the thought of Taylor scared all three of them. They pilled into the small Ford Contour and drove off to the airport. The judgment day was drawing closer and closer. The music had died and now it just has to be buried.
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