Amusing Bumper Stickers

* We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
* Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Horn broken, watch for finger.
* All men are idiots ... I married their king.
* The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
* My kid had sex with your honor student.
* If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
* Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
* I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
* I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
* Jesus paid for our sins... now lets get our money's worth.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* I love cats ... they taste just like chicken
* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
* Keep honking, I'm reloading.
* Hang up and drive.
* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
* Snatch a kiss, or vice versa.
* I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
* I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
* Lord save me from your followers.
* Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
* Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
* I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
* Cats... the other white meat.
* The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
* Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
* Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
* It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to GET you!
* If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
* Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
* Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* s/he who laughs last thinks slowest
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
* Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
* Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home
* Dyslexics have more fnu.
* Clones are people two.
* Entropy isn't what it used to be.
* F U CN RD THS U CNT SPL WRTH A DM!
* Jesus saves, passes to Moses; shoots, SCORES!
* Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
* Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
* Eschew obfuscation.
* Ground Beef: A Cow With No Legs!
* 186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW.
* A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
* A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
* Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.
* Anything free is worth what you pay for it
* Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
* Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
* COLE'S LAW: Thinly sliced cabbage.
* Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
* Editing is a rewording activity.
* Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
* Gene Police: YOU!! Out of the pool!
* Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.
* I used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
* My reality check just bounced.
* Rap is to music what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.
* What if there were no hypothetical questions?
* Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.










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