Essay On Fear by Me
Fears? Everything and nothing. The totality of the emptiness. The extent of the void. I don't fear like you do.
The feat I have comes without reason. It takes hold of my heart. I am not afraid; I am petrified, I am paralized. I am unable to communicate, to rationalize, to accept that there is nothing to fear at all.
Fear, for me, is more than a feeling. It is a way of existing; not all the time, but unexpectedly, during happy moments, inopportune interludes, and in the dead of silence.
Fear is a creature with a mind of its own. It's out to get me. It's out to take control of me. It's out to eat me for lunch.
When It has me, there is nothing so simple as a leaf falling from a tree. Leaves don't exist. There are birds leaping out of trees and trying to eat my eyes. There are herds of rats racing accross the streets. There are spirits swirling in my yard, crying out for revenge.
Fear is knocking on my door everyday. Louder and louder as the weeks go by. It's been there so long now... Sometimes I let It in without a fight. Life is occasionally easier that way. Other times It fools me into thinking It's something friendly. It steals me. It takes me away to dark underground places.
You ask me what i'm afraid of. The only answer i can give is this: I fear that there is no cure for me. I fear that happiness is an ongoing battle. I fear that I am already dead - I am rotting in the ground and just haven't realized it. I fear that one day, Fear will be all i know.
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