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THE NAVY MEN THAT I LOVE Dani      It was in 1985 when I distinctly remember seeing my father leave for a long mission at sea. I tried so hard to suppress my tears because I didn't want him to think that he left his little girl crying her heart out. It's just that I was going to celebrate my 10th birthday soon and I didn’t know if he would be able to call. I didn’t even have a clue as to when he was coming back. But he was able to send me a letter though, telling me how he remembered my eyes and the way I laughed and how he wished he were with me too. Then he ended his letter by promising he’d come back soon. I swallowed the lump in my throat but I felt relieved. I told mommy that daddy was going to be all right. But there was a storm that night. I remembered how I tossed and turned in bed, trying so hard not to picture his ship getting bashed by the waves’ angry whips. How minute his ship would seem against the vast sea, much like the paper boats that he used to make for my youngest brother and me as we saw those boats struggle along the canal….      How I feared for his safety! But at the same time, I knew I could count on his promise to return no matter how long the wait and no matter how great the distance… and true to his word and literally out of the blue, he just appeared on our doorsteps, well before Christmas, bringing all kinds of pasalubong from the exciting places he’s been to. I remembered begging him to take my brother and I to his ship the next day so that we can go with him to the bridge and sit on his chair. We’d roam the ship all afternoon, amid the familiar hum of the generators and the friendly faces of the enlisted personnel who have become our playmates. When it was time to eat, we’d tinker with the buzzer in the wardroom just to give the steward a mischievous grin when he gets there. Then at night we’d cuddle with him in his bunks. However cramped it was, we always slept well, but not without prodding him to regale us with stories about his adventures first! It was just a wonderful time for us.      That was 15 years ago. My father recently retired from the service and is now living happily in a quiet farm in the south with my mother. But here in our house are displayed all the memorabilia of his colorful career - the dress caps, the souvenirs, the newspaper articles, his gold sword and his staff, bearing the lone star that was hard earned but well worth it. They all stand in mute testament to his toils, achievements and contributions to the Armed Forces of the Philippines as a Philippine Navy officer. But we, his children, are his real legacies to the service that he loved so much. Although we have all grown up now, our lives are still closely entwined with the navy. My youngest brother whom the junior Navy officers and enlisted personnel recall as the kid who kept tagging along with my father wherever he went, entered PMA and is soon to join the navy after his graduation. He is to carry with him the burden of comparison with our father but we believe he can hold his own. My eldest sister is a Navy dentist. As for me, I have fallen in love with a navy man myself….      So all over again, I am that little girl crying whenever he leaves for his missions, not knowing when he’ll come back, let alone call. On stormy evenings, I still sleep late into the night praying for his safety, and I have yet to spend a birthday with him at my side. But whenever I visit him in his ship, dressed in his crisp khaki uniform, my heart swells with pride because I know how dedicated he is to his work. I know that he cares for his men and his superiors. Surely, he has the makings of a great officer because I know who he is as a person. Yet I also realize that we have just let go of the moorings of our own vessel. The sea, in its mysterious expanse, has yet to offer a treasure chest of experiences for us. That is why I am also trying to prepare for rough sailing ahead, bearing in mind the African proverb that says, “Smooth seas do not make great sailors, rough seas will”. After all, I learned a lot from my father’s anchor, my mother.      Now, looking at the three generations of the navy men in my life, I never fail to chuckle a little. Each of them looks every bit the dashing navy officer that they are but with their own stories to tell. One has already docked ashore. The other is still trying to learn the ropes. And as for me and my navy mate, we still have a whole world to conquer….      Aye, Aye sirs! A DAISY FOR JOAQUIN Dani     ”Hello. Ma’am, my name is Joaquin Mendoza. May I speak with Ms Daisy Roman please?”      “Yes, speaking.”     She had the most incredibly sweet voice. For a while, I seemed to have lost mine. “Ah… ma’am, this is Joaquin.”Did I just say my name again? My heart was pounding so hard it could have replaced the PMA band’s drums.     “Oh yeah, how are you?” she said.     “I’m fine ma’am. I hope I’m not calling at a bad time. I’d just like to ask permission to visit your residence to invite you to the hop tomorrow night.” I hope she gets confused by that litany and says yes…     A chuckle…“Oh, yeah sure. Cadet Tayag, your upperclassman, already informed me that you were designated to give my friends and I a taste of the cadet dance. Do you need directions coming here?”     ”No ma’am, my classmates and I will just find it out. Thank you for speaking to me and we’ll see you tomorrow. Good evening.” It was definitely a good evening!      The next night, when I saw her, she slowly tilted her head and I loved how her black crop of hair her framed her oval face. She looked so innocent! I knew my fate was sealed forever. So we drove to the hop and inside the car her scent permeated my senses. I helped her out but she was suddenly escorted by another mistah. Maybe later…     “Ma’am, may I have the privilege of having this dance with you”? She looked so radiant, I would have asked her to marry me!     I took her outside the hall and there, underneath the cloak of the evening sky, with the stars smiling down on us, I held her in my arms. Then I got the paper flower that I was making a while back and tucked it in her ear.     “You know, I’m glad that I finally met you. I’ve been wanting do so since I first heard stories about you. Remind me to thank Cdt. Tayag for endorsing me to you.”     ”You’re fast Cdt. Mendoza, I’ll give you that.” Fast? Daisy, I’d run from the barrio to the relics point for you in a second!     On our way home, I bought a sampaguita lei and gave it to her. “Next time, I’m going to give you real flowers, ma’am.” I promise to call you everyday when I get back to Baguio…and I promise to love you forever…     So the next time I went down, I bought for her a dozen fresh daisies and under the same night sky where we first danced, I said what was in my heart for so long. “I love you, little Daisy.”     “Joaquin, I love you too.” Then I kissed her and told her I had to leave soon. She sobbed like a little girl so I achingly wiped her cheeks dry. I felt like something was constricting my throat.     “Don’t cry honey. Come here.” I hugged her back against my chest. “Whenever you miss me, look at the stars and know that somewhere, I’ll be looking at them too. Then someday, believe that we will be looking at the same sky together again like this.”     “Joaquin, promise to come back home alright?”     After that, I went down to Manila as often as I could, bringing her a dozen daisies every time. She was the most beautiful person inside and out. She brought out the romantic side that I never thought I had. For the first time, I found a girl whom I can read poems to or do something silly with, too. I would teach her to drive, cook and even fish using a can of tuna as bait, which we would end up eating when we couldn’t catch anything! A couple of times, I brought her to my favorite orphanage and there introduced her to all the kids that I have visited since my college days. They just loved her like I did! I always wanted to be there for her, my little Daisy, my life and my love…our fairy tale went on for three blissful years until I finally graduated. I felt that I have everything I could ever want. I was so happy, save for the prospect of being assigned south and being away from her for so long.     “Don’t worry Daisy, it’ll be over soon and I’ll be back in no time. I’d want to start our family of little Daisies, you know.” She had this pure expression of sadness on her face. What I wouldn’t give up for you Daisy!     One November evening, I was sitting in the 6x6 truck with my troops, trying to write a decent letter to Daisy. In a week, I’ll be reassigned to Luzon. I can’t wait to see her!   Dearest Daisy,                   This place is not that bad, desolate maybe but not that all bad. With a light breeze coming from the south, the wind blows from the mountains at night. This kind of setup reminds me of Baguio. This kind of setup reminds me of you…Have I told you how beautiful you are? Right now I would like to have your arms around me. Writing these words provide little comfort knowing were miles apart. I’m going to spare you from reading stories about what we do here. There’s impermanence in such trivial things. More than anything else tonight, I want you to know that like a lone firefly, you are providing the only incandescence in an otherwise lonely night – you are much more permanent. You’re the sweetest thing in the universe. I miss you terribly. I‘m coming home soon to fulfill my promises to you. Please wait for me…     Suddenly, there was a loud blast and everything turned pitch black…     Breaking News: Government troops were ambushed in Jolo just this early evening. Lt Joaquin Mendoza reportedly led the group from the 78th Infantry division but we are awaiting confirmation as to exactly how many were killed…     The next day, Joaquin went home.     Finally, I’m back with Daisy! Yet why is it that Daisy looked so unhappy? Don’t cry my love, I’m here now…and why are all my mistahs here in their white ducks? Why was a gun salute being held? God it can’t be…then it came to me…every resounding blast pierced my soul as I thought how, a week ago, a series of gunfire rained down on us too...     As I watched her cry, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on a million images of Daisy…her cherubic grin when we first met, her comforting hugs before I left for duty, her beaming face whenever I gave her daisies when we saw each other again…it was 3 years of bliss…but now, an eternity without her…     Then one of Joaquin's subordinates approached Daisy, “Ma’am, Lt Mendoza was a good officer. He was an able leader and a fine gentleman. He always talked to us about you. It was his wish that we give this to you.” He handed her the small velvet case that I was planning to propose to her with, along with the letter I was writing when we were ambushed. I moaned but no sound would come out. I couldn’t bear to see her cry…Lord, please grant me just a minute to hug her and wipe her tears away…     Then Daisy looked up at the sky. It was almost evening…”Someday, believe that we’ll both be looking at the same sky together…” Yes Daisy, I'll be looking at the stars too.     In a broken whisper, she said, “Joaquin, allow me to give this to you this time.”     She placed a fresh daisy in his casket and walked away with nary a glimpse.      “I hope to see you someday, Joaquin…”     I‘ll be waiting Daisy…I promise… A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A KAYDET GIRL 4 am My cadet called me to say his mail is on it’s way. I can’t wait!  5 Oh, he also said that he’ll come down over the weekend to take me to dinner. God bless him!  5:25 I woke up from dreaming and sprung from bed to start dialing the PMA numbers  5:30 I got through but he was in the bathroom  6:30 I dialed again and waited for him. Poof the line got cut! Aaargh!  6:45 Maybe, he’ll be there this time but, “Ma’am, could you please call again, it’s already police call”  7am So I did but he was already in his first period class. Sorry!  8am I ate breakfast & dressed for school, wearing my pendant and bringing the new Corpsmag he just gave me  9am I was so proud of the view of his back that appeared in the magazine...told my friend about my dream. I also told her it’s never going to happen  10am I went to my classes, thinking of him every now and then  11am Lunch time...Suddenly lost my appetite coz I haven’t heard from him. It’s ok, I’m on a diet anyway  12 I tried accessing the long lines from the payphone…never mind  1 pm I went to the post office instead to mail my letter  2 My classes resumed. I scribbled his name in red and drew him with fangs  4 End of class. Saw my classmates and their boyfriends. It’s ok, they don’t carry their bags for them naman 5 I started dialing and crossing my fingers, and dialing and crossing my fingers from dialing… 5:15 “He’s out of the barracks, Ma’am. Do you have any message ?” It’s all right, maybe later 5:30 “Ma’am, he’s dressing up for evening mess. Pls. call after 5 min” 5:45 Yahoo! I got through but he was already in formation. Hu hu hu 6:30 I called him again but he was not yet in “Ma’am, please call after 10 min” 6:45 Like the obedient kaydet girl that I am, I did but I only got through 15 min later 7 “Ma’am, close call na!” 8 I ate dinner a little dejectedly…but on a lighter note, at least I’ll lose a few pounds still 9 After finishing my paper for school, I thought of writing him instead: “Honey, I hope you’re doing well. I tried to call you the whole day but to no avail. Anyway, I just wrote to tell you that it’s been 3 months, 5 days, 3 hours, 19 minutes and 1 second since I last saw you and I really miss you. Please think of me once in a while…" 10 I slept and dreamt of him again…Maybe tomorrow…after all tomorrow is another day…   Back