Miscellaneous Haiku.
There's a whole lot of these.
| BRR |
| I want to go back |
| (it's fifteen degrees outside) |
| To Aruba now. |
| |
| ODE TO THE PLAGUE |
| I can't taste or smell. |
| My head is so full of snot. |
| It's better this way. |
| |
| TODAY IN CLASS |
| I hate to break it |
| To you, Dr. Stine, but you're |
| Not Sean Connery. |
| |
| IS THIS SEAT TAKEN? |
| A man sits by me. |
| I pretend he's a gangster. |
| Commuter rail fun. |
| |
| ODE TO THE COMMUTER RAIL |
| The grimy windows |
| And the sticky pleather seats-- |
| I don't want to know. |
| |
| NECK STAB KEN DOLL SCARE |
| Why can one never |
| Understand the man who says |
| What the next stop is? |
| |
| I DON'T NEED ANOTHER SWEATER |
| Most Gap employees |
| Are about as friendly as |
| Hardened criminals. |
| |
| WHERE'S MY BLACK TURTLENECK? |
| I feel like a dork |
| Reading Machiavelli |
| In an Au Bon Pain. |
| |
| 12:43 AM |
| I'm swearing off boys, |
| As if I had sworn on to |
| Them in the first place. |
| |
| COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT |
| Dining Services: |
| No one likes Papaya juice. |
| Can't you take a hint? |
| |
| THE QUESTION |
| "How was your spring break?" |
| How anticlimactic my |
| Answer is: "Okay." |
| |
| PROJECTION |
| I must decline, sir, |
| Your proposal of marriage. |
| You see, I garden. |
| |
| AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUND DOG |
| Golden retriever-- |
| Elvis reincarnated-- |
| Sans sequined jumpsuit. |
The next three need a little explanation. I was in an
introduction course for psychology, and we were required to write
a paper about an altruistic act we had performed. I couldn't
think of one. I asked my roommate if she thought it would be okay
if I just made one up. She said no. It got to be late, and the
paper was due the next day, so I made one up anyway. When Lissa
found out, she couldn't believe that I went ahead and did that.
| PSYCH PAPER |
| Can the world forgive |
| Such a heinous sin as my |
| False altruism? |
| |
| ARE YOU RUSTLING PAPER? |
| "You must be stopped!" |
| The paper came back scrawled black. |
| She is right, you know. |
| |
| REDUCE THE SURPLUS POPULATION |
| It's nice to know that |
| You all think so much of me-- |
| I am cold hearted. |
| |
And a haiku BY my lovely roommate, Lissa, composed during her
Physics class today.
| Muerto on the board. |
| Is this a definite sign |
| Of my physics grade? |
You can really feel the pathos. What a brilliant young poet.
Back to 
All these haikus are copyright Rachel Steele,
1999. I can't imagine that you'd want to use them for anything,
but I ask that you don't do so without giving me credit. Because,
face it, I need all the credit I can get.
