Dogma
Still under construction, sorry for its lack of completionA Brief History...
- 4.5 billion B.C., 3:07 PM EST
Big Bang Occurs due to our Shelled Savior's desire to kick the big lump of condensed matter He came upon. And he saw that it was good. And it was.
- 4.5 billion B.C., 3:08 PM EST
A large rock lands on the Turtle's back. It is big and flat. He decides to keep it in His infinite wisdom.
- 4.5 billion B.C., 3:15-5:57 PM EST
The Turtle decides to name the large rock "Aloicious" after his uncle Steve "Aloicious" McGee. He later renames it "Curséd Rock," followed by "Bane of my existence," then "Really heavy thing," then "Parasite-infested Stalactite," and about thirty or forty other things till he settled on "Earth." And He saw that it was heavy...er good. And it was.
- 4.5 billion B.C - 5,000 B.C
Decides to ignore whether or not evolution occured.
