Rules, Proverbs, and Guidelines
one hears many rules and many proverbs,
but
until you see it here
IT'S JUST A RUMOR.
Rules
1. People are Stupid
2. Nothing ever works
3. Never trust the woman.
4. You can lead a yak to water, but you can't teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke.
5. This bites!
6. Boys suck.
7. This is lick my snatch good!
8. Never trust a man in a sweater vest.
9. Keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.
Proverbs
1. When in doubt keep your mouth shut.
2. Women Ruin Everything.
3. It's never a bad idea to keep your pants on.
4. Dirty girls who live in glass houses should press their breasts up against the glass.
5. Men with pie dance better in the oven.
6. No corset can hide your shame. ...or your big, fat, bloated, distended beer gut used to counteract your huge, honkin' fat ass.
7. new rules are best added after doing something that you probably wouldn't do while sober.
Su's 23 Guidelines to everyday life
1. You must be gay on alternate Tuesdays, and you can't wear boobs during those days.
2. If you look at someone's crotch, you can't touch their boobs.
3. Never question a woman with a ladder.
4. Life is more interesting when you're perverted.
5. A life is no life without a good dependable pair of boobs.
6. When things are going bad, rub your clit once and move on.
7. When things are going right, keep rubbing your clit.
8. If he/she doesn't agree with you, then burn his/her ass.
9. Thou shalt not commit heterosexuality on alternate Tuesdays (pertains to #1).
10. If you've lost something, it's probably crammed up Mark's ass.
11. Masturbation is an event for all to witness.
12. If you're trying to seduce nine women at once, at least make sure you give them the right phone number.
13. Masturbation will take you to new heights.
14. If you happen to fall into a gorilla pit, make sure they're nice gorillas, not mean ones.
15. Su is not a snooze button, thus do not throw sleazy books at him in an attempt to shut off one's alarm clock.
16. Gloworms are not to be slapped onto Briana's ass, no matter how much enjoyment it may bring.
17. Mark is not a Super Mario Brother.
18. When worst comes to worst, we're screwed--according to Steven Wright.
19. Evan is not a topic of discussion in any way, shape, or form.
20. Do not pass I-93.
21. Dreaming about humping a sheep is not be healthy, no matter how much fun you may have.
22. Never trust cackling women in greenhouses
23. Alcohol DOES impair your judgement.
World of Me--I mean Su
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