September 28, 1999
Scene 1: Bauer Kitchen
(Danny and Michelle are walking into the house, laughing and talking about their new house.)
Michelle: We can't--we can't pick out wallpaper, yet!
Danny: Why not?
Michelle: Because.
Danny: Alright, alright, okay. Yeah, we need to get an architect. We need to get the house built first.
Michelle: Uh-huh.
Danny: But I'm just...
Michelle: I think that's how it's done.
Danny: I'm just daydreaming. You know, Ben Warren is being dealt with right now, as we speak, and I'm going to be moving out of my mother's house. (Starts kissing her neck.)
Michelle: I can't believe it.
Danny: Me, too. We're gonna have our very own roof, (They both start laughing again.) over our very own heads...very soon. So start packing. (They start kissing.)
Michelle: Okay. (There's a knock on the door.)
Danny: You've got to be kidding me.
Michelle: Of course.
Danny: Come on.
Michelle: I'm coming. (Danny twirls her around and she giggles. She opens the door and it's Peeelar.) Hi!
Peeelar: Where's Danny? (Oh, well that's rude. Don't say "hi"...) I need...Danny! (Take a number, sweetheart, because we all need Danny!) I need--I need you. Please, it's terrible. You have to stop it.
Danny: (Confused.) What? What's the matter? What?
Peeelar: He got arrested.
Danny: Who?
Peeelar: His parents are so humiliated.
Danny: Who? Whose parents?
Peeelar: They won't even let me speak to him. (Okay, I know that you have the mental capacity of a chia pet, but "Who?" is not a difficult question to answer. Even the world's biggest airhead--that's you!--should be able to answer that question!)
Danny: Who? Who are you talking about?
Peeelar: Bill! Bill! Bill got arrested.
Danny: Bill Lewis? (No, the other Bill! Yes, Danny, Bill Lewis.)
Peeelar: Yes, he got arrested for stealing files from the Spaulding computer.
Michelle: What?
Danny: Well, that--that shouldn't have happened. What about Ben? Where's Ben?
Michelle: What--what shouldn't have happened? What was--what was supposed to happen? (Ooh, she's mad, now...)
Peeelar: You knew about this.
Danny: Yeah, I did.
Michelle: (A little louder than usual.) What happened?
Peeelar: Ben tricked Bill into stealing files from the Spaulding computer. You set this up. You got Bill thrown in jail.
Scene 2: Bauer Kitchen
Peeelar: How could you do this to me? (Uh, hello?! He didn't do anything to you. He did it to Bill...) How could you?
Danny: Pilar, relax! Will you just calm down for a second? It's going to be okay. Just listen to me.
Michelle: How is this going to be okay, Danny? How did this happen?
Danny: Well, it was a mistake, Michelle. Obviously.
Peeelar: And it got Bill thrown in jail!
Danny: It was not supposed to be Bill. It was supposed to be Ben. Now..
Michelle: So you did this then? You did this.
Danny: Yes, I did this. I told you I've been working on getting Ben out of my house. (Stuttering. He's so adorable when he stutters...) What--uh--what do you expect?
Michelle: So the old way is the best way still?
Danny: Hey, I contacted Phillip Spaulding, for your information, who happens to hate Ben as much as I do. (And that makes it alright?) I asked him to help me. And we came up with a plan to slip information to Ben, so that when he tried to access the Spaulding computer to use it, he'd be caught and he'd be arrested. (Stuttering again.) It was not supposed to--that--this was not the plan.
Peeelar: Yeah, well, Ben tricked Bill, and now Bill is the one that ended up in jail!
Danny: How could I--how could I have known that he was going to use Bill? Huh?
Michelle: You know what? (Either that, or she said "Yeah, well...") Is Bill still at the police station, Pilar?
Peeelar: Yes.
Michelle: (Aggravated.) Can we go see him, please?
Danny: I'm going to talk to the cops and when they understand what happened, it will be fine.
Peeelar: They understand fine! They understand! That's not the point. It can't change the facts, Danny! You know, it just never ends with this family. It never ends! (Exits. Danny starts to go after her, but he turns to Michelle instead.)
Danny: I'm going to...this is going to be fine. I'll take care of it. So, don't worry about it, okay? (He leaves.)
Scene 3: Police Station
(Danny, Michelle, and Peelar are walking into the police station.)
Danny: Come on. (They walk up to Insta-cop Frank's desk.) I hear you arrested Bill Lewis. I want to make a statement.
Insta-cop Frank: There's no need to do that.
Danny: You don't want to know what happened, for the record?
Insta-cop Frank: I know exactly what happened. I talked to Phillip Spaulding. My men were set to make the bust.
Danny: Okay, well, then even you can figure out that you got the wrong guy, can't you? (This is Frank we're talking about here. He can't figure ANYthing out...not with that 1 IQ point...)
Michelle: Danny.
Insta-cop Frank: I know what you wanted to have happen. And I know what you and Phillip expected to happen. I know what did happen. Let me tell you something. Bill Lewis wouldn't be here right now if he stayed away from your family.
Danny: Do the math. You should also know that Bill was set up by Ben. He didn't know that he was breaking any laws. Don't embarrass yourself, man. (He's Frank...that's what he does for a living: embarrass himself.) There's no way that Bill could ever be found criminally liable.
Insta-cop Frank: (Chuckles.) Oh, there's a term I'm sure your family's very familiar with, huh?
Danny: You should be going after Ben Warren, buddy. If you cops weren't always so obsessed with the Santos family-- (Pretty much the rest of this scene, they're all talking at once, so I did my best to hear what they were saying.)
Michelle: Danny, come on.
Insta-cop Frank: Obsessed? We're obsessed? We're obsessed? (Uh-huh...just a tad...)
Danny: I'd say so, yeah. (I have to agree with Danny on this one, Frank.)
Insta-cop Frank: No, what we're dealing with are the 9-1-1 calls that come in that your family's responsible for. You know what I'm talking about? Selena Davis. She walks into your house and she comes out on a stretcher, paralysed. And how about Bill Lewis? (Okay, technically, that wasn't a 9-1-1 call, and you should also blame the illustrious Phillip Spaulding for Bill getting arrested. It was just as much his fault as it was Danny's...) I've got to arrest him tonight and lock him up. Why? Because he hung out with your family. You know, if you keep this up, the least of your troubles are going to be the cops.
Danny: (I just love how he says this. Kinda cocky, kinda like he's trying to start an argument.) You sound a little personally involved there, Detective. (It's Insta-cop Frank!!!)
Michelle: Danny! Can you not...alright, both of you just stop, okay? This is not...
Insta-cop Frank: (To Michelle.) How do you do it?
Michelle: What?
Insta-cop Frank: How do you do it every single day?
Danny: (Getting mad, but still calm.) Don't talk to my wife.
Insta-cop Frank: Turn your head and look the other way.
Danny: (Now he's mad, and losing his cool.) Don't talk to my wife, man! (To Michelle.) Why don't you go back to the car like I asked you--
Insta-cop Frank: How many people have to get hurt, Michelle?
Michelle: Frank, can I please see Bill?
Insta-cop Frank: It's after hours.
Michelle: Frank, look, he's my best friend, okay? I didn't do this. I need to let him know that there's somebody out there trying to get him out. (Oh, he knows. Everyone and their dog is trying to get him out.) I'm not going to stay long, please?
Insta-cop Frank: (Hesitantly.) Alright, Michelle. I'll do this for you, and only you.
Michelle: Thank you.
Insta-cop Frank: Let's go. (Insta-cop Frank, Danny, and Michelle start to go when Peeelar pulls on Michelle's wrist.)
Michelle: What?
Peeelar: He got too upset the last time I was here.
Michelle: (Rubbing her arm.) It's okay, it's okay.
Peeelar: No. He didn't want me to see him like this. It will just make it worse.
Michelle: Pilar, are you sure? I mean, you...
Peeelar: Yeah. I'll wait here. Make sure he's okay.
Michelle: Alright.
Scene 4: Police Station
(The three of them are walking towards Bill's cell.)
Insta-cop Frank: Bill, I've got some visitors for you.
Michelle: Hi.
Insta-cop Frank: Michelle?
Michelle: Yeah?
Insta-cop Frank: You've got 10 minutes.
Michelle: Okay, thank you. Hey, we came as soon as we heard.
Bill: You shouldn't have come.
Michelle: Bill, everybody knows that you didn't do this.
Bill: Yeah, well, my hands were on that keyboard, so...
Michelle: And Ben Warren put you in front of that computer.
Danny: Yeah, Bill, listen up. Ben totally set you up. I'm going to straighten this thing out by morning, okay?
Bill: Yeah, whatever. Look...thank you guys from coming, but I...really, I need to get some rest.
Michelle: Bill, uhmm, can you just--can you just talk to me, please? Please don't be mad at me. Just because I'm a Santos doesn't mean that I did this. (Ooh...you just have to see the look that Danny gave Michelle when she said that.) Please, talk to me. (Bill doesn't answer.)
Danny: Michelle, look, he...why don't we...he asked us to leave. Why don't we just go?
Bill: (Turns around to face them, and he has a black eye.) I'm not mad at you.
Michelle: What happened to you?
Bill: I just fell, and...
Michelle: You fell?
Bill: and I hit my head on the bar.
Michelle: You--you fell? That...that is from falling? Bill, come on.
Bill: Look, I'm okay, okay? Don't worry about it.
Michelle: Can't we just...just have Frank take a look at it. Please?
Bill: No, I'm fine.
Michelle: Please, Bill?
Danny: No, he's right. If he says anything, it'll be worse for him.
Michelle: (Coldly.) I guess...I guess you would know that, huh?
Danny: Look, at the arraignment tomorrow, this'll all be finished. Just hang tight. Stay cool here, okay? And between my family and the Spaulding's, we'll sort this all out.
Michelle: (Very coldly.) I think your famliy's done enough to help, Danny.
Danny: (Quietly.) Hey. What's your problem?
Michelle: (Barely audible.) I'm sorry. Look...can you just go? Can you just leave us alone for a minute, please? Just go. (Danny leaves. Bill and Michelle hold hands through the bars and just look at each other.) I'm sorry.
Scene 5: Police Station
(Danny walks into the main part of the police station, lingers by Insta-cop Frank's desk, then walks over to Peeelar.)
Peeelar: How is he? Is he okay? Does he look alright?
Danny: He's fine. He's fine. He's looked better, but that happens when you get thrown in jail.
Peeelar: Tonight will be the longest night of my life.
Danny: Pilar.
Peeelar: Of his life.
Danny: Pilar. He's got friends, and he's got family, and they'll take care of him, okay?
Peeelar: I know, but I want to do something.
Danny: (Hugging her.) There's nothing...look, there's nothing that you can do right now that will of any help to him. He'll be fine. He'll be fine. He'll be just fine. He's in good hands. He's in good hands. (There's another scene, but it's just Bill and Michelle holding hands through the bars. Nothing's said.)
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