Characters:
Things You Need To Know:
Scene 1: The Phone Call
Katie is sitting at her computer, drinking Coke and laughing at the Minesweeper guy, when the phone rings. She looks at the clock and sees it is 3 AM.
Katie: Who in the cork is calling at this time??
::She picks up the phone.::
Katie: Hello?
::No one answers. All she hears is whimpering and sobbing on the other end.::
Katie: Um.............. hello?????!!!!
Man: ::sob sob:: Katie? ::sob sob::
Katie: Uh......... yah. Who is this?
Man: ::whimper whimper:: I........ I need your help. ::sob sob:: You're the only person who I could turn to.............. the only one who would understand how ::sob:: serious this is.
Katie: Okay, um, you're kinda scaring me. Who is this?
Man: This is ::tries to compose himself:: Davey.
Katie: DAVEY?!?! DAVEY AS IN DAVEY DAVEY.... *DAVEY* DAVEY?!?!?
::Katie gets so excited she leans back fast in her chair and it tips over.::
Katie: Shenanigans. ::She scrambles for the phone.:: ARE YOU STILL THERE?!?
Davey: Yah... Okay, so.. this may sound kind of weird............
Scene 2: The Dilemma
Melissa: What in the cork are you talking about and I thought you weren't allowed to call people from online......
Katie: This is an emergency!!!!!!! My parents are gonna kill me, but I don't care. Davey needs my help.
Melissa: DAVEY CALLED YOU?!? OH MY GOD!! DID YOU INTERVIEW HIM?????? DID YOU ASK HIM IF HE WEARS BOXERS OR BRIEFS???
Katie: Haha....... no... he told me... he.. um.. has this problem that he needs me to help fix...
Melissa: Problem? Uh..........
Katie: Yah, well, it's pretty serious. He was crying when he called.
Melissa: Oh my god! Is he dying???? Is everything okay??? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ART?!?!
Katie: Oh no..... way worse than that.
Melissa: Worse?!
Katie: ::Dramatic pause:: ...............................Someone stole his muttonchops! ::Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnn!!!!::
Scene 3: Getting Back-up
Court: So, you're telling me...... he just woke up and they were gone??
Katie: Yes, isn't it horrible?? He needs all our help right now.
Court: Well, what can we do??
Katie: I'm calling all the Everclear peeps. We need to get together.... put all our differences aside...... put all our money together....... fly to Portland..... and help Davey solve this mystery!
Court: I'll be there tomorrow.
Scene 4: The Meeting
::Everyone is gathered at a Portland airport... Katie, Court, Melissa, Marybeth, Nancy, Chris, Laura, Lorraine, Holly, and anyone I forgot..::
Katie: Okay, I'm so glad you could all make it.
Nancy: No problem! Any problem of Craig's is a problem of ours!
Katie: Craig?? This is about Davey...
Marybeth: Haha......... I had to tell her it was about Craig to get her to come...
Nancy: WHAT?!?! I DON'T GET TO SEE CRAIG???!! ::pouts::
Katie: Heh.... um... well, thanks everyone who actually KNEW why you were coming. Davey should be meeting us here in a few minutes to give us the scoop on what's going on.
Melissa: I wonder who stole them... maybe it was Dave Grohl!!!!! He's always wanted chops like Davey's, I just know it.
Chris: DON'T YOU DIS MY DAVE!!!!! HIS HAIR IS 32983829 TIMES BETTER THAN DAVEY'S COULD EVER BE!!!!
Katie: I wouldn't take it that far..... I think Grohl is a good suspect..
Chris: No way. If he's a suspect, I'M OUT OF HERE!
Court: Well Katie's right you know.......... He used to have those pathetic excuse for muttonchops...
Chris: I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT HELPING OUT DAVEY!!!! GOD!!! MAYBE I'LL JUST LEAVE!!!
Holly: Everyone calm down... We're here to help Davey, not have fights about facial hair...
Laura: Holly's right.. Let's just all calm down and wait for Davey.
::A man wearing all black clothing and a hat with large earflaps stretching to his chin comes walking up.::
Davey: I'm here.
Katie: DAVEY!!!!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!! ::Faints::
Melissa: Oh god...
Chris: I'll take care of her, you guys focus on Davey.........
::Chris walks away.::
Laura: So, Davey, what's with the hat and the black clothing??
Davey: ::Looks very upset.:: It's just..... I'm in mourning. And I can't stand to look at my face without the muttonchops so I have to wear this hat to cover up where the...... muttonchops used to be... ::Starts sobbing and clutches onto Melissa.::
Melissa: Uhhhhhh.... where's Katie when you need her??
::Chris comes back with a bucket of water.::
Chris: Passed out on the ground. ::She throws the water on Katie, soaking her::
Holly: Why'd you do that?!?
::Katie wakes up.::
Chris: She fainted! Besides....... THAT'S FOR STEALING CHARLIE AND DISSING DAVE!!!!!!!!!
Katie: Ugh..... what happened.....?
::She notices Davey clutching onto Mel.::
Katie: MELISSA!!!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!???????????????????? I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ART?? DAVEY'S MINE!!!! ::Starts crying.::
Melissa: Oh geez............ I didn't do anything!!! He's an emotional wreck and he clutched onto me!!!! I swear, I don't like him. Do you SEE any TBP??
Marybeth: It's true Katie.
Katie: ::Stops crying.:: Oh.... okay.
Davey: ::Stops crying, too.:: Well...... we should get started...
Katie: Okay, so who do you think did it?
Davey: I have no idea.
Katie: Well.... um.... that sucks.
Marybeth: We thought maybe Dave Grohl...
::Chris growls.::
Marybeth: ........................ but we ruled that one out!
Nancy: I just got an idea for a plan. You know, well I was thinking maybe we could somehow do something.... like go around and maybe do something like maybe look around at some different places.. eck.. you know what i mean.. some places that like maybe there are some of those things... and look for someone you know who had some of those um... eck.......... yah.. muttonchops things and then maybe somehow ask them something like questions or something and see maybe if like they know anything or something... yah you know like if they're like ejoirajiewr832-2399823=9328492793ekraoiwerjioe then maybe we'll know that maybe it's them....
::Nancy looks at them, but only receives blank stares in return.::
Everyone: ........................................HUH??????
Marybeth: Haha..... I think she means maybe we should just search Portland for people with nice muttonchops.
Nancy: That's what I said.
Lorraine: Yah, the person who stole them couldn't have gotten very far.
Melissa: Hey Lor, you've been pretty quiet...
Lorraine: Yah, that's cuz Katie forgot about me til right now...
Katie: Okay, well, let's move!
Scene 5: Splitting Up
Katie: Maybe we should split up.....
Lorraine: Yah, we'd see more people that way.
Katie: I GET TO GO WITH DAVEY!!!!!
Melissa: Haha.. obviously..
Court: Okay, so, Katie, Melissa, me, and Davey can be a group, Lorraine, Chris, and Laura can be a group, and Holly, Nancy, and Marybeth can be a group. Let's go.
::The groups split up.::
Scene 6: The Search
::Davey, Mel, Katie, and Court are walking down the street. Davey's walking a little behind them, his head hanging...... He's being all mopey::
Katie: Figures the day I get to hang out with Davey is the day he decided to be gloomy guy.
Court: Awww... well, we're gonna find out who did this, we're gonna get his muttonchops back, and he's so gonna love you for it!
Melissa: He's gonna owe you a big thanks....
Katie: Yah, I guess...
::A man walks by with large muttonchops.. nowhere near as awesome as davey's, but large anyways...::
Court: Hey guys..... look at that guy..
Melissa: Wow....... he might be the one... Katie and Davey look.
Katie & Davey: No way... Davey's/mine are so much better!!!!!!
::They look at each other surprisedly.::
Court: Haha....oh man..... We should check it out anyways.
Davey: Alright, I don't think it's him though.
::They walk up to the man.::
Katie: Excuse me Mr.......... I was wondering ..... um...... Where did you get your muttonchops??
Man: Where did I get them?? What?? I grew them......... What the hell is up with him??
::He points to Davey who is on the verge of tears, touching the man's muttonchops.::
Davey: You're so lucky. Do you know that? Don't take your chops for granted, man. One day... you may wake up and they'll be.. ::sniffle:: gone.
Man: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!!!!!!
::He runs away.::
Melissa: Well, that didn't go too well.
Court: Yah, Katie, maybe you.... should've phrased the question differently and maybe Davey should not have touched his muttonchops........
::Another muttonchopped man walks by.::
Katie: Hey, look at him!! Let's go!
Court: Um... maybe Melissa and I should take care of this one....
Scene 7: Back Together
::The other 2 groups meet up.. not Davey's group.::
Holly: How'd you guys do??
Lorraine: We got nothing. How about you guys?
Marybeth: Same here.
Nancy: Davey will not be pleased..
Chris: Maybe the other group did better.
Laura: I wonder where they are? We were supposed to meet back here 15 minutes ago..
::A muttonchopped man comes running past the group of Everclear peeps.::
Man: GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!
::The group then sees Davey chasing after the man.::
Davey: PLEASE!!!!! JUST LET ME SMELL THEM AGAIN!!!!!!!!! ::sobs:: I miss the smell....
::The group looks and sees Katie, Court, and Melissa shaking their heads in shame at Davey and walking towards them with unhopeful looks on their faces.::
Holly: Um, I'm guessing you guys didn't do much better than us...
Katie: Nope..... unless you count Davey making 8 grown men run away in fear as succeeding....
Melissa: God, this sucks. It's starting to get dark out. We'll never find the muttonchop thief.
Chris: Oh come on guys.... Don't give up that easily.
Lorraine: Yah.. we'll find them, don't worry.
::Davey comes back from chasing the man with tears in his eyes.::
Davey: ::muttering:: All i wanted to do was smell them.... God, is that such a huge favor to ask??
Katie: Davey, what do you think we should do next?
Davey: I don't know. There's no hope. Whoever has my muttonchops is long gone. I'll never see them again.. ::Starts crying and clutches onto Katie... Haha you knew this had to come sometime.:: I mean, I don't ask for much. Just my muttonchops. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!?
Katie ::Comforts Davey.:: Aw....... no... don't worry. We'll find them.. I promise.
Davey: I don't believe you. We won't find them.
Chris: This is too sad. We need to cheer him up.
Holly: Yah! I just got an idea!!!
Scene 9: The Idea
::The group pulls up in a large van to a stadium.::
Melissa: Where are we going???
Holly: You'll see!!!
::They all get out. Davey still looks unhappy.::
Davey: It doesn't matter where we are....... It won't cheer me up.
Katie: Aw.. come on Davey. Holly's trying her hardest here.
Marybeth: Yah, I'm sure whatever this is, it'll be fun.
::A bunch of giggling girls run by wearing NSYNC shirts.::
Court: Um... Holly........ what are we doing??
Holly: GOING TO AN NSYNC CONCERT!!!!!!!!
Everyone: WHAT?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Katie and Davey: NSYNC?!? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
::They look at each other.::
Katie and Davey: YOU LIKE NSYNC?!?
Marybeth: Oh my god, Holly, are you on crack??
Chris: Eh..... NSYNC??
Laura: I don't know... It could be fun guys!!
Nancy: Yah, and it will cheer up Davey.
::They go inside.::
Scene 10: The Concert
::The Everclear peeps find their seats. Most of the Everclear peeps look ashamed, but Katie is wearing a newly-bought NSYNC shirt. She looks over at davey and can't help but laugh when she sees him wearing an "I <3 Justin 4-Eva!!" shirt with a picture of Justin on it.::
Davey: Oh man, this is so what I needed.
Court: Haha.. I had no idea you were an NSYNC fan Davey.
Davey: Hell yah!!! Justin's da bomb!!!! Man, I wish I could dance like him!!
Katie: ::Turns to Melissa:: You know, I never thought it was possible that I could love Davey any more........... BUT HE IS THE COOLEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
Melissa: Oh god... haha.... You're so meant for each other.
::The lights go dim and the concert starts.::
Davey: WOOOOOO!!!!! ::He whips out a sign that says: "JUSTIN YOU'RE MY HERO! I'D NEVER SAY 'BYE, BYE, BYE' TO YOU!!!!!!!"
Laura: Is anyone else as disturbed as I am by this??
::Bye, Bye, Bye starts, Katie and Davey jump out of their chairs and screech like little girls, while the rest of the Everclear peeps bow their head in shame. Katie and Davey sing along, while doing the Bye, Bye, Bye dance.::
Scene 11: Later During the Concert..
::Katie and Davey wipe tears from their eyes while the rest of the Everclear peeps are asleep in their chairs.::
Katie: Man, "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time On You" gets me everytime.
Davey: I know what you mean. Made me think of the chops.... ::He gets sad::
Katie: Aw, Davey, I'm so sorry. You know that we will find them.
Davey: I know. Thanks so much for going through all of this.
Katie: Anything for the chops.
::Onstage.::
Justin: Okay, we have a special guest star tonight!!
JC: Give it up for the band everclear!!!!!!
::In the audience::
Katie: WHAT??? I didn't know they'd be here!!!!!!!
Davey: Me either. Why didn't they invite me?? ::Looks hurt.::
Katie: Guys, wake up!!! Everclear's onstage!!!
::They all wake up.::
Lorraine: What the hell is going on??
Laura: I have no idea.
Chris: Everclear and Nsync? That's just.... wrong.
::Everclear comes running out onstage. They all grab microphones.::
Art: Helloooooooo portland!!!!!!!
Lance: Everclear's gonna help us out singing our new single, "It's Gonna Be Me"! Right boys??
Craig: You betcha.
::The music starts up and NSYNC starts dancing around. Art, Craig, and Greg join in and start dancing with them.::
::In the audience::
::The Everclear peeps stare with expressions of horror at their face::
Nancy: That is just.... um....... wow.
Marybeth: This goes against everything I have ever believed in.
Holly: Who knew Greg could dance like that??
::Onstage Everclear dances around and belts out::
Art: EVERYTHING LITTLE THING I DO!!!!!
Craig: NEVER SEEMS ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!!!!!
Greg: YOU DON'T WANNA LOSE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!
::In the audience::
Katie: I um.. don't know what to say. Davey did you know about this?
Davey: Of course. All of everclear are huge NSYNC fans. We don't tell anyone though. Bad for our image.
Court: Um.. guys.... what is that on Art's head??
::They all look at the big screen and try to figure out what is on Art's head::
Laura: It looks like.... brown hair??
Melissa: OH MY GOD!!!! THE MCOH IS GONE!!!!!!!
Chris: What? That can't be!
Court: It is though.... look.. What the hell did he cover it up with??
Davey: I'D KNOW THAT HAIR ANYWHERE!!!!! HE'S GOT MY MUTTONCHOPS!!!!!!!
Everyone: ::GASP::
::They run for the stage::
Scene 12: The Fight
::Security guards try to stop them, but they use their ninja moves on them. Mel jumps in the air and kicks one guy square in the forehead::
Melissa: TAKE THAT!!!!!!!
::A security guard runs at Davey and Davey stops in his tracks, looking frightened::
Katie: NO ONE MESSES WITH MY DAVEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::The security guard lunges for Davey, but Katie sommersaults through the air, punching him in the face and knocking him to the ground::
Katie: HOW'S THAT FOR YOUR BREAKFAST?!?!
::They finally make it to the stage and jump up::
Court: STOP THE SONG!!!!!!
::Everyone onstage looks confused::
JC: What are you people doing?? Get off the stage!!
Laura: Sorry. We've got a mission here.
Justin: A mission?
Chris: Yes, a mission. A mission to get back some STOLEN FACIAL HAIR!!!!!!! ::They all point at art::
::Art turns bright red and goes to run off the stage, but Davey runs over to him::
Davey: Not this time Art.
Art: But, man... you had so much hair.. I thought you wouldn't miss them.
Davey: Wouldn't miss them?? They're my life!!!! They're what I live for!!!!
Katie: Yah, you just don't go around taking people's facial hair without asking first.
Nancy: I agree. that's rude.
Art: Well, if you want them back, you'll have to catch me first!!!! ::He runs away::
Melissa: COME ON EVERYONE!!!!!! LET'S GO GET HIM!!!!!! ........Just try not to hurt my Arthur okay??
Katie: Let's gooooooooooo!!!!
::They all start to run, but notice Marybeth and Nancy stopped to talk to Craig::
Holly: Um...... guys...... rescuing some muttonchops here....
Marybeth: Oh....yah... sorry......
Nancy: Yah, yah I'm coming.
Scene 13: The Chase
::The Everclear peeps had looked everywhere backstage with no luck::
Lorraine: Let's check in here.... ::She points to Justin's changing room::
Davey: OH MY GOD!!! JUSTIN'S CHANGING ROOM!!! OH MY GOD ALL HIS CLOTHES!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!
Melissa: Um... priorities, Davey? Remember your muttonchops??
Davey: Oh yah... sorry about that.
Marybeth: The door's locked...
Court: Not for long!!!! ::She gets a running start and kicks open the door. Art is huddling in a corner, scared for his life::
Holly: Art, we're not going to hurt you... We just want the muttonchops back.
Art: I HATE THE MCOH THOUGH!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF ME FOR IT AND I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!
Melissa: Aww.....Art.... No one makes fun of you for it.
Art: Really?
Everyone: Yah!
Chris: ::Mutters:: Yah, we just make fun of you for being bald....
::Lorraine kicks Chris::
Chris: Heh... sorry.
Marybeth: All of us have our flaws.....
Nancy: Our imperfections..
Chris: Our bald spots...
Court: But it's no reason to go stealing someone's facial hair.
Art: Yah.... I guess you're right...... I'm sorry, man.
Davey: It's okay.. no harm done... but... ::He grabs the muttonchops off Art's head:: I BELIEVE THESE MUTTONCHOPS ARE MINE!!!
::He takes off his hat and puts the muttonchops back in place::
Laura: Yay!! Everything's fixed now!
Davey: And all because of you guys. Thanks so much.
Melissa: No problem!
Nancy: Yah, our pleasure.
Katie: How about we go.... and finish watching NSYNC!!!
::Everyone groans in disgust::
Davey: Fine then! Katie and I will go watch them and you guys can stay here!
::Katie and Davey walk off arm in arm::
THE END
Davey
Katie (Me, a huge Davey fan)
Court (an Everclear fan)
Melissa (an Everclear fan, a huge Art fan)
Nancy (a huge Craig fan, Sometimes makes no sense when she talks online.. heh.. nothing bad meant by that Nancy!)
Marybeth (a huge Craig fan as well)
Lorraine (an Everclear fan)
Holly (an Everclear fan)
Chris (an Everclear fan, a Foo Fighters fan)
Laura (an Everclear fan)
Art
Craig
Greg
What is an MCOH? An MCOH is a Missing Chunk of Hair. This is not meant to be derogatory towards Art at all. The man has beautiful, lovely, and amazing hair. No one is saying that he's going bald. It's just a kind of inside joke between us that Art has an MCOH.
What is TBP? The TBP are Art's Tight Black Pants. Again, no harm meant. Heh... another inside joke of sorts.
Who is Charlie? Charlie is Chris' pet dead sea horse. She gets mad when people mess with Charlie.
Is Davey really an NSYNC fan? I really have no idea if Davey likes NSYNC. I highly doubt he does and I'm pretty sure the rest of Everclear do not like them either. I just picked it to be random and funny.
If you have any other questions, let me know! Now on with the play :)
