Am I right side up or upside down?
To each other we’ll be facing
By love we’ll beat back the pain we’ve found
You know, I mean to tell you all the things I’ve been thinking
Deep inside my friend
With each moment the more I love you.
-Crush, Dave Matthews Band
Chapter 8
Part 1
I stepped out of Angie’s small car in front of the Ritz Carlton in
Dearborn,
Michigan. It was nice to breath the cold night air, but it was just
that...cold. So I headed
inside, doing what I always did, trying my hardest to escape my heart, escape
the massive
dancing of my head.
I went to the room and changed into a pair of sport pants and a tommy
hilfiger
t-shirt. I threw on a sweater and sat on the bed suddenly very aware that I
was alone.
The girls had gone to the Grand to meet up with AJ and Howie. Why do you
always do
this to yourself, Kel? Punish yourself with the worst possible torture.
Being alone. It
echoed through my soul. Alone. Even though I wasn’t, I still felt it.
Alone. Alone. The
room was quiet. The hallways were quiet. I got up, looked outside the
window and the
outside was quiet. Alone.
I could not remain still. I took my keys, grabbed my book (It, by
Stephen King)
and headed out the door, toward the lobby on the tenth floor. At least,
then, people
would perhaps be passing. I wouldn’t feel completely by myself. Why
didn’t you go
with them? Wallowing in your own sorrow again, aren’t you Kelly? My head
ached as I
stepped onto the elevator. The same elevator that only a little over a day
ago had housed
both me and the unattainable man of my dreams.
The elevator went quickly to the tenth floor. Not long at all. Not
like the day
before. I stepped off. The small lobby was only dimly lit from the elevator
entrances. In
essence, it was a bunch of seats in the dark. I planted myself near the
window. I set It in
front of me on a finely set table and sipped on a glass of wine that I had
poured that had
been left out from dinner’s hor’devours. I did not read the book, but only
glanced out the
window. I went to a place far away.
I was thinking about my first love. I was somewhere else, with him.
We were on the cliffs. The same cliffs from the dream earlier that
night. We were
sitting there on the ground, side by side, just touching, looking at the
crashing waves. He
was telling me that he was the only one who understood me, that I was the
only one who
understood him. When his hand gently touched my arm, I knew he was right.
Despite all
the pain we had experienced. Despite how different we were. Despite how
much he hurt
me and used me time and time again. I thought I could never love a person
more. I
thought that this was all there was for me. A young confused man from a home
more
broken than an edsel, more crooked than the Leaning Tower of Pisa, a young
man who
understood nothing about himself, much less about me. I laid my head down on
the crook
of his neck as I rubbed his soft hair, something he endlessly requested of
me. This was
real.
But not as real as the day our love smashed into a tree. Not more
real
than the day I realized he loved his painkillers more than me. No more real
than the day
he left andnever came back, at least not psychologically or mentally. It
seemed like I
cried forever. And even though I was completely over it, the scar that bled
now and then
would cause the tears to run down my cheeks involuntarily. They did at that
moment.
The quiet was stirred by the elevators beep. I wiped quickly at my
tears. I knew
whoever came off the elevator would be thinking look at that crazy crying
teenybopping
Backstreet Boys fan.
Static.
Every time he enters a room it is like that. I felt him
instantaneously.
I looked up. He was wearing running pants, a backwards hat, and a
long T-shirt.
It looked like he was ready for bed. Breathtaking in my eyes. I gasped
slightly, not
enough though that he could hear me. There were still tears in my eyes, but
the sight of
him at once formed a knot in my stomach. I loved this person. There was
absolutely no
doubt in my mind. I had loved once before. I knew how it felt, I knew how
wonderful it
was, I knew how much it hurt.
His eyes were piercing. The color was inexplicable. They looked
right at me. No
longer shy, no longer confused. He just looked. He was waiting for
something. So was
I. Tears welled up once again and I looked down. He stood for a few more
moments.
All I could see were his sneaker clad feet. I looked up just as he rolled
his eyes, quite
exasperated, and walked toward the tenth floor rooms.
*****
I just sat there. Scared. Alone. How the hell was I supposed to
know what to
do? Why was his happening?
I love him. My heart almost pounded the words.
I love him. Boom boom boom. I love him.
The tears burnt now, perhaps from mixing with my mascara.
Static.
“So what was that all about this afternoon?” the familiar voice, so
much more
serious than I ever remembered. I didn’t answer, only looked at him. I had
no answer, I
wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “I mean, you make a scene, in front
of, like
EVERYONE. Criticizing the person who PROTECTS me, claiming that all you want
is
to treat me like a human. Claiming that all you want is to talk to me.
Well...here’s your
chance? And what do you say? Nothing. You say nothing. So? What do you
wanna
say? Here’s your chance. Say it.” There was a pause. I did not know this
person. Why
was he so bitter? What had I done to him?
I found my voice. For the second time that day, I dug deep down and
said exactly
what I felt. “What do you expect me to say? After you just walked by like I
wasn’t
human earlier. Do you think I’d actually think you wanted me to talk to you?
I know
what you think. You think I’m like all the rest. That I don’t know you.
That I don’t
understand. And you’re right about that. But I do know that there is
nothing in this
world like you. I do know what I feel. Don’t assume that what I feel isn’t
real. Don’t
assume that you have any idea about me, cause the truth is that you know
NOTHING
about the people who care most about you...you...you.”
“Don’t assume you know ME at all. You know nothing about me.
Nothing.”
Nick retorted. I was suffocating. His eyes were distant. “You have no idea
how I feel.
You have no idea at all.” With that, he turned.
“I guess we’re a bunch of ignorant people than.” I replied simply.
I tried to level
my head. I tried not to run up to him and grab him. Feel his soft skin and
touch his face.
I wanted to tell him how much I WANTED to know him. And suddenly, I found
myself
saying it. “I guess that’s the difference between you and I. I actually
WANT to know
you, and you could give a shit about me.” My voice broke as I stood up and
pressed the
elevator button. He just watched.
As I stepped on, I turned and looked at him. He stared at the
carpet. But then,
very lightly, I heard him. “Like I said, you have no idea.” The elevator
doors shut and he
was gone.
Part 2
Give me just one night with you
Every day of your life
One kiss every morning after a hundred kisses each night
Gimme just one night with you
Every day for all time
It would be so right every day to have just one night with you.
-One Night With You, CNOTE
I was running down the hallway to my room. My head was spinning from
the
encounter. Why had he done that to me? Me, who had always, simply and
without
question just loved him? My world was crashing down around me. It was more
difficult
having the fantasy end than having something real end. Tears soaked my
cheeks and
would not stop gushing from my burning eyes. Why? Why? Why? My mind
raced, my
heart felt like it would explode from pounding in my tight chest. I felt
nauseous again.
Why isn’t this damn card thing working? I slammed it in and out of the
door. C’mon,
c’mon, c’mon. The light turned red over and over again. Finally, I just
placed my head
against the cool door. And I wept. Wept like a child who had had her
favorite toy stolen
from her. Why did I feel this way? Why did this even matter? Why couldn’t
I just
escape?
“Here.” his voice was light, almost distant. But it was right in
my ear, warmed by
his breath. He was standing close, right behind me. I faintly felt his hair
brush against my
cheek. He was looking down again when I turned my head slightly to look at
him. He
raised his eyes and saw my tear stained face. “Here, let me do it.” Nick
took the card key
from me, slipped it in the door gently and when he removed it, the green
light flashed
steadily. Still behind me, but with one arm crossed to open the door, he
turned the knob
and pushed it open. Where did he come from? I thought. What is he
doing? Nick
motioned for me to go in by a small pat on my side. I obeyed like a child.
When we entered my suite at the Ritz, I brushed my cheeks with the
inside of my
wrist and sniffed. I gazed at him.
“This room isn’t too bad.” he said matter of factly as he walked
around. I
suddenly was aware of the mess. There were clothes strewn all over, empty
and open
alcohol bottles and an array of other items. He approached one of the beds
like he did this
every day. Before he sat down, he cleared a pair of nylons and a bra. He
grimaced and
moved them over.
“Uh..well..uh...I guess it shouldn’t be for the price.” I peeped
out.
“A lot?” he questioned. I guess he didn’t know what the going rate
was.
“For me, yeah.” I answered.
“Mmmm.” he looked around the room some more. I had no idea what to
do.
What is he doing here? I was so confused. He obviously was, too. Hadn’t
he just
basically told me to go to hell? So, I just began straightening the room up.
“Uh...do you have anything to drink in here?” he questioned, fixing
a
glance on me. I motioned toward the mini-bar.
“Take your pic.”
“Do you mind if I order room service?” he asked.
“Uh...do whatever you want.” I answered. What the hell is this?
“Want anything?” he added as he picked up the receiver.
I suddenly realized I was hungry. “French fries, I guess.” I
requested.
While we were waiting for room service, Nick flicked on the TV. “Do
you mind?”
he asked. He was so polite, so informal, like we had hung out a million
times before.
“That’s fine.” I snapped. He set his lips together, got up and
turned to a football
game. It seemed like the food took forever. There was a cheeseburger, two
orders of
fries, four cokes, and two pieces of cheesecake. Nick asked if it was ok to
eat it on the
couch and I gave him an affirmative once again. I sat at the table and
nibbled on my fries.
Nick was done in a matter of minutes. He wiped his face off and politely
excused himself
to the bathroom. As he shut the door the phone rang and I walked toward the
receiver
and picked it up.
“Kel?” Angie’s voice came over the line.
“Hey Ang.” I was hesitant. “What’s up? Where are you?”
“We’re at the Grand. I was just calling to make sure you were
alright....are you
uh, are you alright?” she was always so concerned. It was comforting.
I answered her honestly. “I don’t really know. Actually, uh, Nick
is in our
bathroom right now.”
“Excuse me?” Angie sounded surprised, as I knew she would be.
“Yep...and uh, we kinda got into a fight, and man, I have no idea
what he’s doing
here.”
“Oh my damn. Nik! Nick is in our bathroom.” I heard Angie talking
to Nikki
through the thick crowd at the casino.
“Oh shit, my bra is on the bed!” Nikki gasped.
I heard the door opening. “OK, I gotta go now.” I said, and didn’t
wait for a reply
as I slammed down the receiver.
*****
The casino was loud and crowded. The guys had gone to get drinks and
to find a
good craps table while Angie and Nikki called me. After I hung up, Angie
half wanted to
call me back, but figured that she didn’t want to interrupt. She turned her
head and
looked for AJ, Howie, Marcus, Mark, and Dave from EYC.
“I’m gonna win me some money tonight.” Nikki said, looking around
as well, but
more taking in the scene than scouting for the men.
“I’m gonna find out why I woke up on AJ’s couch.” said Angie,
looking
concerned.
“I’m sure you just passed out there or something.” Nikki affirmed.
“No, it was something else.” Angie answered and Nikki looked at her
quizzically.
What’s going through her head? Nikki thought as she watched her
friend. Nikki
hated it when Angie kept things from her.
Just then, Nikki spotted AJ’s red hair through the crowd as the guys
approached.
“We found something baby.” he said to Nikki as he walked up, and grabbed
her arm
lightly. It felt nice, Nikki thought, but she was wishing he was someone
else. Already,
she was wishing he was someone else. *You could never have him* Nikki
thought of
Brian as they pushed their way through the crowd, wondering what he was doing
at the
moment. She looked at AJ. He was really nice. He was treating them so
good. She did
not find him attractive in the least anymore. Well, maybe a little
attractive, but not like
Brian. He was nowhere near that perfection. Her mind suddenly wandered
toward Kelly
as they took their place at the craps table. Nikki hoped her best friend was
OK.
Part 3
I had no right
Bringing you here
Knowing what I know and feeling the way I feel
I had no right being so uncontent baby
Being so confused...Being so not for you.
-Being So Not For You, PM Dawn
Nick had resumed his place on the bed and watched the rerun football game
until the end. I could think of nothing else but to sit on the other bed and
stare between
him and the television. When it was over, he sauntered up to the TV,
switched it off and
walked over to the table. He picked up the small photo album and walked back
to the
bed, plopped down and opened it up. I, suddenly aware of what he was doing,
jumped up
and approached him, almost afraid that I would be pushed away.
“Um...those are, um, those are all my pictures of when I’ve seen you
guys.” I
explained trying to make it sound innocent. Like we weren’t stalking them.
“Where have you seen us, Kelly?” he questioned. He looked at the
first pictures of
Howie and Kevin in Orlando. “Where’s this?” he pointed to a picture of the
girls and
Kevin.
“At Universal Studios in Orlando. We actually just ran into them
coming
out. We were there for Spring Break, you know? And it was a total fluke, we
just ran
into them. We couldn’t believe our luck.” I was racing to explain. It
looked so pathetic.
“You don’t need to explain. It’s alright. I mean, I think it’s
cool that you like us.
Did you think I wouldn’t?” he responded defensively, but joking as well.
“Well, yeah, actually...I thought you would think we were, well, you
know,stalking
you guys.” I countered.
“Heh..” he chuckled slightly, “You know you kinda are. But it
doesn’t bother me.
I mean, until you start, you know walking around with binoculars,” my face
burned
thinking of the incident earlier that day, “and plotting the death of my
friends and stuff.”
he paused and looked at me almost pleadingly with large doe eyes. “I love my
fans, you
know? It’s incredible and indescriptable what I feel for you guys. I don’t
understand why
you would think otherwise. Everything I do, I do with you in mind. Even the
incident
earlier. You know that wasn’t a personal slight against you. I was just
protecting all the
other fans. If I took one picture with you, stopped to talk to ONLY you,
then I would
have had to talk to EVERYONE. And that wasn’t possible at that moment. I
would have
had to devote the equal amount of time to everyone else that was waiting
around. And
there just isn’t enough time in the day when there are fifty people here. I
try my hardest,
really. And Billy? He just does what he’s told to do...by me.”
I didn’t respond. Didn’t know what exactly to say at that moment.
Nick flipped
some more through the book.
“You don’t have a lot of pictures of me...I’m kinda hurt.” he said
looking up at
me with a hurt, but laughing expression.
“That’s cause you are too busy thinking about your fans and running
through or
performing magical disappearing acts...so I never get pictures of you.” I
responded
sarcastically.
“Ouch.” Nick whined. “Uncalled for. You like being mean to me,
don’t you?”
“No, actually, I don’t. I like being nice to you. But the things
you are
saying...they just don’t make sense to me. I guess it’s just that fan/star
separation thing.”
“Well...” Nick thought for a moment. “Let’s do something about it
then, Kelly.”
He looked at me sincerely and thoughtfully. “How about you and me bridge
that fan/star
gap. How about we be friends? Cause, you know what? I like you. I liked
you the
second you smiled at me, and I still like you, even with your drama and your
complaining.” he giggled. “Why don’t we prove EVERYONE wrong who said that
fans
and we...eh hem...and I use this term very very loosely...stars,” he
emphasized the words
with a flash of his hands, while rolling his eyes, “couldn’t be friends.
Can we do that,
Kelly?”
His eyes were bright and dancing. He was so strange. That’s what
was so
wonderful.
“I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.” I beamed, and
felt so much better.
*****
“Damn Baby! You are on a winning STREAK!” AJ yelled into Nikki’s
ear.
“Hard Eight, Baby! Hard Eight!” Nikki shook the dice. She had
already won five
thousand dollars. And she was on a roll. But it was only when she did her
lucky ritual.
“Baby needs a new pair of...SHOES! Nice, shiny EXPENSIVE shoes! Give ‘em a
goodluck blow you sexy man, you!” She put them in front of AJ’s smiling
lips. He blew
gently on them and Nikki turned to Howie as AJ ordered drinks for all around
the
table. “C’Mon sweet man, now you!” Howie kissed Nikki’s cheek lightly and
then blew
on the dice. Every time they repeated this ritual, Nikki won. The crowd grew
quiet as
Nikki prepared. She shook the dice as a lull dispensed and rolled ‘em
screaming
“ROKKKKKKKK!”. Everyone figured she meant “Rock” as in “Rock on”, having no
idea, that the thought of Brian was what triggered her final attempt at a
win.
“HARD EIGHT!” shouted the dude who tended the table.
The crowd went up in cheers as Howie and AJ both kissed a cheek.
*****
“You’ve never been scuba diving?” Nick looked at me surprised. We
were
sitting on the same bed now, facing one another with our legs crossed.
“No....” I giggled, beginning to get embarassed. I knew what the
next question
was going to be.
“Why not?” he did it. He asked the inevitable.
“This is so stupid. And I don’t have many fears. But....jeez...I’m
uh, I’m afraid of
fish.” Nick burst out laughing at my confession.
“I know, man! Fish are REALLY scary! Whoa...I have nightmares, that
some fish
is gonna come, and you know, gnaw on me with there little fishy faces.” he
puckered up
as I punched his arm. He was laughing really hard now. He made a swimming
motion
with his hands as he bobbed his head toward me making fish faces. “I’m
coming to get
you. I am going to sucka-fish you to death.” We both began reeling. Tears
streaked my
face again, but this time from laughing.
“I’ll tell you what? I’ll go scuba diving. But only with YOU.” I
looked at him as
he wiped tears from his own eyes.
“That sounds like a deal.” he responded giggling softly. “Man, I’m
hungry.”
I cracked up. “Uh, I imagine you are famished after that meal made
for Jabba the
Hutt.”
“Whoa...mean again girl! What’s with you?” Nick pretended
distress.
“Well, it’s true....heh...wanna order a pizza?” I smiled brightly
at him.
“I’ll call the front desk for the number.” he jumped up and grabbed
the
phone.
*****
“Hey Crapper!” AJ yelled toward the Craps dealer. “Give this
winning lady the
DICE!”
“If I win this one, we’re getting a suite in New York city for New
Years Eve!”
yelled Nikki. And at every Backstreet Boys concert on the weekend for the
rest of the
year she thought to herself.
Angie was cheering holding onto one of Marcus’s arms and one of
Howie’s. The
boys performed the ritual once more, Nikki rolled once more, and won once
more. Howie
kissed one of Nikki’s cheeks and one of Angie’s. She got warm as soon as
his devine lips
brushed her cheek. She wanted to kiss him again...on the lips...and this
time, remember
it.
*****
“I swear to God, Neil Diamond’s lips were moving on that poster!”
Nick had been
describing to me a poster that his mother had had in the TV room when he was
a child. I
was holding my sides trying not to choke on my meat lovers (muhahaha) pizza.
“So the poster was possessed?” I giggled.
“I don’t know, but I ripped it down one day and blamed it on BJ. It
scared the
bejesus out of me...I suppose though, it’s not as pathetic as being a grown
woman scared
of ...hehehe...FISHIES”. Nick cracked up at his joke.
“Funny Carter, real funny!” I smacked his arm lightly.
*****
“There is NOTHING like a buffet after you’ve just won thirty
thousand dollars.”
Nikki was incredulous.
“I can think of some better stuff...” AJ joked as Nikki elbowed
him. He had
practically been hanging on her since she began her winning streak. The
whole party was
upstairs at the on-the-house buffet they were hosting for their evening’s
largest winner.
Nikki wasn’t sure she could get any higher that night. She couldn’t believe
her luck. Here
she was eating good food with two Backstreet Boys, with thirty thousand
smackers in her
pocket. Life couldn’t be better. Well, Brian could be there, but she would
scout out
Brian before the weekend was over. She felt the luck. Nothing could break
it now.
*****
“So who was your favorite New Kid?” Nick questioned, mockingly. I
couldn’t
believe that I had admitted my New Kids obsession to him.
“Who do you think?” I said almost flirting.
“Hmmm...you seem like a DONNIE type girl to me. You like ‘em BAD.
You like
‘em burnin’ down buildings and stuff.” Nick stood up and went to the
minibar for another
coke.
“No...you’re wrong...and by the way, there was no fire involved.” I
stretched out
on the bed, leaning my back against the head board. It was already 4:30 a.m.
The girls
weren’t home yet, but I hardly noticed.
“Ahite...tell me who your favorite Backstreet Boy is and then I’ll
tell you who your
favorite New Kid was.” Nick teased.
“Who do you think it is?” I teased him right back.
“Well, it’s definetely not ME, cause I’m a GEEK, and I can tell that
you don’t like
GEEKS. So, I am gonna guess that it’s Kevin. Yeah, yeah, Kevin FOR SURE.
Cause
he’s all sexy and intense and stuff. And I KNOW you’re the type of girl
who’s in it for the
SEX.” Nick’s thought process came out through his mouth.
“Moi? A sex freak? Well, yeah, that’s right. And I do like the
sexy, smoldering
type. But I wouldn’t consider Kevin the sexiest and smolderingist of the
lot.” I
responded. I was definetely turning the flirt machine on. He had to know it
was him.
“Smoldering, eh? Well, then it definetely has to be BRIAN.” Nick
and I both
cracked up at the same time. “No, wait, he’s a GEEK too.” Nick chided fun
at his friend
even with him not in the room. “Uh...do you like Latin men?”
“Nah...actually no, not at all.” I lifted my knees up toward my
chest.
“Kay...so that leaves...” Nick counted on his hands... “No
one...” he laughed.
“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, I like Blonds!” I added.
“JOE!!!! I got it, JOE was your favorite New Kid!” Nick screamed
it out. I high
fived him. “You got it, baby!” I shouted.
“So, who’s your favorite Backstreet Boy?” I asked him, feigning
seriousness.
“That one’s easy,” he responded. “DEFINITELY Howie.”
*****
The coat room was warm. Angie could not believe Howie had pulled her
in. His
hands were all over her as his warm lips pressed on her neck. This was a
beautiful man.
He moaned lightly as he softly whispered, “You taste so good.” Angie could
hardly stop
herself as she gently rubbed his perfectly round behind.
“You feel so good.” she sighed.
“Spend the night with me.” he questioned her.
“What’s left of it?” Angie looked into his sweet, expressive eyes.
“We can make it last forever Angela.” he had called her that since
the first time
she introduced herself. It made her tingle. His Spanish accent came out
when he said it.
Forever she thought to herself, as she nodded a “yes” to Howie.
Is that what I
want? Angie and Howie stepped out of the coat room, he leading her by the
hand.
*****
Nick was planted next to me now, but lying down and looking up at
me. My heart
was aching litening to what he was saying.
“You really love her, don’t you?” I could see it in his eyes as he
talked about
everything that had happened with Mandy.
“I don’t think I will ever not love her. Does that make sense? I only
hope that I
can love someone else too. Even more. And maybe she’ll love me a little
too.” He
peeped these last words out, as if they could never happen. I turned over
onto my
stomach and our faces were closer. I looked into his eyes that suddenly
looked hurt and
longing.
“You have no idea Nick, do you? There are so many people out there
who could
love you. Love you the way you deserve to be loved.” I looked at him
intently.
“Like I said, you don’t know me. I’d turn out to just be bad for
someone. Mandy
calls it ‘allconsumingness’. That’s what I am. Too much to deal with. Too
stupid and
annoying for anyone to put up with. She told me that after time, the sex
didn’t even
matter anymore.” Nick was talking very lightly now, but still looking me in
the eyes.
“That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard. And I’m getting
to know you, and
I do know A LOT about you. And I know you are none of that, Nick. You are so
special. Can I tell you about the first time I ever saw you sing?” He
simply nodded his
head at me, still gazing deeply into my eyes. I was becoming lost in him. I
had no idea
that this was precisely the all consumingness Mandy had talked about. “I saw
this person
with so much life and so much energy. I watched the way you teased the crowd
and saw
how much you loved what you were doing. And I heard your voice. God, it’s
like
something that would come from an angel’s lips. I watch you every day. I
watch the way
you smile and the way you think and everything you do. And I KNOW that I
love you.
And I KNOW that other people who love you, love you the same way I do,
because you
are just so special. There’s no other way to describe it, but special I
guess....Is any of this
getting to you?” he was looking at me the same intent way as before.
“I don’t think they love me the way you do, Kelly.” he said
lightly, as he reached
his large hand up and brushed my hair behind my ear.
“You’re probably right.” I smiled. “I don’t think anyone loves
you like I do. But
I was trying to make a point.” We both giggled slightly.
“I’m tired.” he looked at me. I could tell from his eyes what he
was about to ask.
“Can I just stay here to sleep?” he questioned, already drifting off.
“Only on one condition.” I answered lightly.
“Anything baby.” he replied.
“Will you hold me?” I peeped it out very quietly.
“I was just gonna ask you the same thing.” he answered as he took my
right arm
and wrapped it around his chest. I lied my head down just beneath his chin
as he reached
his long arm over to the light switch to turn it off. He then brought his
arm back over and
gently caressed my arm with one hand and my hair with the other. I thought I
would
never fall asleep my heart was pounding so hard. But in actuality, I was
alreadry drifting
off. As the depths of sleep grabbed me, I heard a faint humming of an
unfamiliar song
coming from Nick’s lips. It was the first time I ever heard my song.
Chapter 9
Song For Kelly
NinasFiction
NinasFeet
