Spoutin' off
So, you all know *well, some of you anyway* that I’m a writer. Its a passion. But I’m
lazy. And then, I’m laying in bed one day thinking *no, not of Nick...wait, I probably
WAS thinking of Nick, but that’s not the point...* ‘you should put some of this stuff down
on paper’. And then, I think, who would really care? And suddenly, I knew it...you guys
would. My beloved Feet and BSB fans! The ones who ‘get it’, right Court? Thus the
birth of Nina’s Editorial. And you all can join in the fun, too! I plan to do it perhaps
bi-weekly...dependent on what we have to say.
A Time Before Backstreet – An Essay by Giz
Last night I had an inkling to turn on A Night Out With the Backstreet Boys. I’m glad I did because it made me think back. It made me remember some things that I had forgotten.
The day that A Night Out came out on video, Nikki and I were in the Fall Semester of our junior year at college. Was it the Fall Semester? I think it was. I know it was at the beginning of my whole “BSB Thing”. It was before I had their in initials tattooed on my body, before I had tramped about the nation in persuit of a concert, it was before I had met most of my friends, before I had even step foot in the BSB Band Chat Room, before I had met any of them; it was long before anything that I am today.
Nik and I were taking Money and Banking and we decided we would run to Downtown Crossing in Boston to pick up the video on our hour and a half lunch break. We jumped on the Green Line and scampered to Sam Goody and we finally had the video in our hands. We made a quick stop at Burger King and then got back on the train. I think we both knew that Money and Banking was a bust for that afternoon. We had to go home and watch the BSB before we both went to our after school jobs.
We sat mesmerized. The lights were out and it was rainy outside so it was quite dark in our tiny second story dorm room. We were hearing and watching the sweetest sound and images imaginable to our ears and eyes. The BSB had such heart and it made their fans want to be part of them. I said a silent vow to myself that I would always be a part of this, that this feeling they gave me, the feeling of warmth and happiness and a lost youth that I desperately wanted to cling to. In many ways and probably wrongfully so, they were my saviors, had seen me out of a dark time and shown me some kind of blissful light. A Night Out encompassed that.
We used to watch parts of A Night Out every night before we went to bed. Everyone had their own favorite part. We couldn’t get enough of Brian & Nick’s solos. Even today, we can do every movement that Nick makes during Heaven. We did it last night when we watched it. And we laughed. And I thought back.
“Do you believe that this was filmed when we didn’t even like the BSB?” I asked Nikki as I sucked on a blue ice pop to soothe my swollen pierced tongue. Nik brought up that I didn’t just “not like them”, but rather hated them. But that wasn’t what I meant. What I meant was that it was hard for me to believe that there was a time before Backstreet. It’s hard for me to remember what person I was before them. And you know what? It’s strange, but I think that since them I’m so much more myself and have gained multitudes in self worth and spirit. Maybe it’s that they’ve grown with me as I made a turn in my life and that’s why I’m still hopelessly devoted, as so many others are. Or maybe it’s just because they still, to this day, make me as happy as they did the first day I got A Night Out.
I put everything that annoys me aside. I forget about Billy and the quest to beat Nsync. I try not to let Tim the tour manager annoy me. I say goodbye to Guy and Dennis and Mindi and tell myself that everyone must move on. I ignore the vast amount of money I spend on concert tickets; if I wasn’t so stubborn and took anything less than the first 25 rows, I’d pay a lot less. And then, I concentrate on what makes me happy. How good does it feel when I see recognition in Nick’s eyes when he sees me and how my heart sores when he smiles at me? How wonderful is it just before the show when the lights go down and the music begins to play and I know that I will be with them for 3 hours? How exhilarating is it to see and hear a concert, to dance and sing and cry out just because you can? How wonderful are all my friends that I’ve made along the way? They are the closest people to me and I am truly gracious to the BSB for them. I love when I go to Carmen’s house and we sit and watch videos over and over again and never get sick of them (except for Lucky Drawers…he gets sick of them after a while…).
How great is it to look back and watch A Night Out and still be in awe? Everything changes, but some things, the root of things, stay the same. Who was I before there was Backstreet? I can hardly remember. But I like who I’ve become since them. And I know I’m the person to thank for that…but I can thank them a little, too, can't I?
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