Feelin' Free
Everybody's Free (To Love BSB)
Written by Giz
If you take this without giving me credit, I will come track you down and smoosh you between Britney Spear's boobs.
Ladies and gentleman who enjoy pop culture.
Listen to BSB.
If I could offer you one male group for the future, BSB would be it.
The longterm possibilty of BSB have been proved by Millennium record sales and concert
mania whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own fanatic
experiences.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of Howie’s hair.
Oh nevermind, you will not understand the power an beauty of Howie’s hair until you are
older. But trust me, in five years you’ll look at pictures and recall in a way you can’t
grasp now how sexy those sweaty ringlets really were and how soft and natural it really
looked.
Nick’s ass is not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the Firm. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to
get Brian to stop bringing Tyke with him everywhere he goes.
The real troubles in their career were things that never crossed your mind until you read
that Rolling Stones article that described how screwed they were by Transcon, Lou
Pearlman, and Johnny Wright.
Do nothing if you meet them that scares them.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless ticket agencies or scalpers. Don’t put up with ticket agencies or
scalpers that are reckless with you.
Scream.
Don’t waste your time trying to buy tickets online.
Some of us will stand outside the hotel, some of us will sleep instead. The tours are long,
and in the end, some 13 year old will probably just screw it up for you anyway.
Remember the good reviews. Forget the bad ones. If you succeed in doing this without
burning magazines in efigee, tell me how.
Keep your old letters from the fan club.
Throw away your credit card statements.
Learn to hump the floor.
Don’t feel guilty if you are twenty nine and are buying teen magazines. Some of the most
interesting 40 year olds I know are still doing it.
Got milk?
Be kind to Leighanne. You’d miss her if she were gone.
Maybe they’ll have girlfriends, maybe they won’t.
Maybe they’ll last 10 years, maybe they won’t.
Maybe they’ll break up in the year 2016. Maybe they’ll dance to Backstreet’s Back at
their reunion tour.
Whatever they do, don’t take it personally too much. The music business is half chance,
and so is everything else.
Enjoy Kevin’s body.
Check out those muscles when you can.
Don’t be afraid of it when he comes to hug you.
It’s the greatest instrument he’ll ever own.
DANCE.
Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your BSB wallpapered bedroom.
Read the lyrics to songs,
Even if they don’t make any sense.
Do not read fan fiction, it will only make you horny.
Get to know the places they hang out. You never know when they’ll move out of the
neighborhood for good.
Be nice to the band members. They’re the best link to what’s really going on and the most
likely to want to get to know you as a person.
Understand that fellow BSB fans come and go, but for the prescious few you should hold
onto!
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get and the
more money you make, the more possible it will be to move to Florida and try to get to
know them.
Live in Orlando once but leave before you get arrested for stalking. Live Tampa once, but
leave before you get arrested for stalking there too.
Club.
Accept certain inaliable truths:
Ticket Prices will rise. A.J. will get tattoos and Nick too will get old.
And when he does, you’ll fantasize that when he was young, ticket prices were reasonable,
AJ wasn’t a walking piece of art, and Nick was your one true love.
Respect their parents.
Don’t expect to get past their bodyguards.
Maybe they’ll trust you. Maybe you’ll bribe them. But you gotta know that all they’re
after is sex.
AJ, don’t mess anymore with your hair. Cause already it looks like it’s 85.
Be careful with what concerts you attend. But be patent with the opening acts. Concerts
turn into nostalgia. Thinking of them is a way of fishing “that feeling” from the disposal,
wiping it off, painting over the times when you thought you’d pee yourself, and recycling
it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the BSB thing.
Email: gizcarter@hotmail.com
