Doin' the Letterman
The Feet's Top Ten Lists
Top Ten Things to Know on the 2nd Leg
10. Nick minus Mandy equals fan friendly, so jump right in there and spark up some cnversation, he just may surprise you...
9. Be nice to Billy...we gave him a stroke for Millennium so we should probably lay off. Take your frustrations out on the root of all evil: TIM
8. That's NOT Obie, its his brother.
7. You can fit WAY more than two people ina King Size bed.
6. Brian doesn't exist, so stop trying. Be realistic -- try to meet Leighanne.
5. If you see a girl who looks like a stripper and acts like a stripper -- she IS a stripper. She's ALSO AJ's girlfriend.
4. Nick's bus is fair game.
3. Ignite your anti-Bob Carter defense shield...you're gonna need it, especially if you breathe and have breasts.
2. The key to Kevin's heart is "drawers". Give him some. He'll talk to you about them for HOURS!
And the #1 thing to know on the 2nd Leg:
1. Nick DOES like to party. When he goes to his room and his friend brings a Long Island Iced Tea and Whiskey Sour up to him, chances are his is not "down for the night". Chances are he'll be down at the bar within the hour wondering where we all went...
Top Ten Memories from Fort Lauderdale:
10. Stealing Marcus's clotehs
9. Haulobrian
8. Sketchy Mike and his running to see Brian
7. Hugs not Drugs
6. Club Sandwiches in the Lobby -- What's your last name? SMITH!
5. Bob Carter and his women
4. Nikki & Howie's dance in Shining Star
3. 151 & Tony's hangover
2. Nine months pregnant? No problem! Kevin's two wives meet at last!
And the #1 memory from Fort Lauderdale is:
"GIRL, YOU LIE!"
Top Ten Personal Hells for BSB Fans:
10. To sit in the last row at a BSB concert for eternity, having no binoculars, the screen isn't working, and never being able to get out...oh yeah, and the speakers near you don't work...
9. All the BSBs are stuck with permanant laryngitis, except Kevin...
8. The girlfriends and wives form a band and are the opening act...and it lasts five hours...
7. Joey from NSYNC replaces Nick
6. The tour consists of them singing If You Want It To Be Good Girl and Boys will be Boys 22 times
5. The next four albums are "previously unreleased material" that we all have had for years...
4. It's True is the next single
3. You are at an eternal press conference with the boys and every question asked is whether they have animosity with NSYNC and whether or not they fight...
2. They all keep Kevin's "Ramones" haircut
and the #1 personal hell for a BSB fan is
The boys are all, as Brian is to believed, HAULOGRAMS...
Top Ten Reasons why Kevin is out of the group:
10. "Take this and throw it into the Atlantic"
9. He bares a striking resemblence to Shaggy Robinson and that just ain't right
8. His hair looks greasy
8. His hair is long
7. No one gets those jokes
6. We LIKED the toilet bowl thing, you dork
5. He talks too slow...even AJ thought he should cut it down on the laws
4. Since when did Glam Kev turn into GRANOLA Kev???
3. Kristen...my bad
And the #1 reason why Kevin shouldn't be in the group???
HUGS NOT DRUGS, KEV!!!!
NFATH's Top Ten New Years Resolutions of 2000!!!
10. NFATH will drink together more
9. Giz will finally get her picture with Nick
8. Faith will continue bringing her tape recorder EVERYWHERE she goes and taping EVERYTHING she hears.
7. Ang, Nik, and Kel will not just watch the Grind Workout with C-Note, but DO it.
6. Sandie will learn how to drive her new car.
5. Carm will stop getting pregnant with Kevin's lovechild just before we come and visit...
4. Linda will perfect her JUMPING IN FRONT OF CARS move.
3. Neysa will NOT see Nick when going to stalk (betcha like that one, eh Neys?) and not dwell on his SHOES.
2. Dawn will stop renting Neons and get a GOOD pic with Kevin.
And the Number One New Years Resolution:
TO CHASE TAIL as much as possible!
Top Ten Things to do while visiting Florida
10. Eat a late night meal at the McDonalds on Sand Lake Road.
9. Eat Strawberries at Williford Farms.
8. Take a shower at the Wyndham Hotel in Tampa.
7. Take up a club at the Golf Course in Windermere.
6. Follow every old Accura you see.
5. Walk on the Stiff Grass
4. Make left turns on red signals and right hand turns from the left lane.
3. Go to the bathroom at the IHOP on the corner.
2. Visit the Dairy Queen in Apollo Beach and the MCEDs in Ruskin.
And the #1 thing to do in Florida:
Meet the Areas Police Force
Top Ten Reasons NOT to invest in SPECTRA Management in 2000
10. If you take away the management and add the word "vision"...hmmm...funny, but it also makes sense!!!
9. Poor child-labor practices.
8. Their offices have been m oved from a multi-million dollar home into the back of a van.
7. What ever happened to that Aaron Carter TV series?
6. We didn't know Leslie Carter could talk, much less sing! (Low, we know...and we LOVE it!)
5. Bad press and relations with their major asset and income source.
4. They're not "financially" settled
3. Worker strikes are inevitable.
2. They're recent merger with the National Enquirer.
And the #1 reason not to invest with Spectra:
The CEO!!!
Top Ten Reasons to Love B-Rok
10. He said "awwww" when we gave him the pic of us and Leighanne...we bet he was "awwing about us...NOT!!
9. Every time we burp, we are reminded of him.
8. He's a breast man.
7. He is never off key (watch out Howie!!!)
6. His nickname has a copywright on it.
5. He takes that dog with him everywhere (Tyke, not Leighanne).
4. He waved to us in the Fort Lauderdale show...many times.
3. He lifts up his shirt during Darlin' in Live Aus Frankfurt.
2. His hair is in constant Haberdashery state.
and the #1 reason why we love B-Rok Is:
HE MAKES GOOD HUSHPUPPIES!!!
Top Ten Reasons to love the 7th
Backstreet Boy (see below)
10. It not only saluted us in the old tour, but decided to come out and greet EVERYONE during Into the Millennium.
9. You can see it without binoculars.
8. Its name is Mr. Winkey.
7. It comes out during Don't Wanna Lose You Now and it looks good through those leather pants.
6. It busts the elastic on the waistband of Nick's warm up pants.
5. We talk about it at least once a day.
4. Even random internet posers claim that it's big.
3. Nick's newly found muscles.
2. It belongs to the one and only Nick Carter.
...and the #1 reason why we love the 7th Backstreet Boy is......drum roll please......
XL!!!
Top Ten BSB TV
Performances ever:
10. MTV Live Special (even though we weren't there...)
9. Pay Per View in O-town (it wasn't what we expected, but who wouldn't want a concert
nightly?).
8. Spring Break '98 in Jamaica (Wass up? Nick's hair. The way B-Rok is acting...need we
say more?)
7. Rosie O'Donnell Appearance #2 (it has to be right up there...I mean, damn -- we were
there).
6. MTV VMAs #2 (one of our proudest moments).
5. The View Summer '98 (toooo goddamm cute - and we like it when b-rok gets
pissed).
4. Top 40 Videos (after all, most of our vocabulary is derived from this appearance "yeah
right...sure it was giz...")
.
3. Saturday Night Live #1 (damn baby, damn).
2. Storytellers with Tony Bennett (this one shows just how awesome the guys are...).And the #1 BSB TV Performance is Saturday Night Live May 1999 (watch how they become one in AIHTG)
Top Ten Reasons to
Stalk a Hotel
10. Walls are thin
9. Mini Bars
8. You’re
allowed to wait in the lobby as long as you like as long as you’ve paid for a room.
7.
Lamps and Dry Walls for punching
6. Piano Bars in the lounge are a great place to
spark up random conversations...
5. Elevators are a great place for a quickie.
4.
Mission Impossible in hallways and stairways.
3. Per chance run-ins with Nick while
singing “I don’t Wanna Be a Player”.
2. Every good hotel has a pool, hot tub, and a
sauna.
and the #1 Reason to Stalk Hotels is
Brian, Howie,
Kevin, AJ and Nick!!!
Top Ten Reasons to want to be the BSB’s
Stage
10. You could see every single BSB show.
9. The pitter
pattering of those feet is actually kinda kinky on you...isn’t it?
8. Sweat drips on you
7. You can weigh up to a few tons and people just think you’re all the better for it.
6. The fat ass can fly across you
5. You house Kevin’s funkay dance
4.
You’d never have to pay for a hotel
3. You could see Guido every night
You’d
know exactly who Sven was
1. AJ would hump u.
