Star Studded Words
by Rebecca R. Vallerand
Why I write. Those words are someon else's but
I'll tell you why, whyIwrite.
I write because if I didn't my head would explode
I write because I can't sing
can't dance
can't even talk sometimes
I write because my opinions are all I have
to separate me from those who I hate.
My opinions are all I have left,
all I ever had.
I write because I'm too close to my work,
I write because it's the only way
to tell my felings to others.
I write because I'm shy,
because I hate most people,
because the people I love don't know me,
because the words never come from my mouth
the way they do on paper.
I write because I want to help someone else,
anyone else;
I want to be a star in someone else's midnight sky
and maybe my words can light up someone's life.
I write because I'm crazy,
because I can't deal with pain alone,
because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to live.
I write because I hurt,
I cry,
I laugh...
I write because I feel.
I write because I'm human
and the words are the only thing that touch people.
I write because people can read but sometimes
they don't hear.
I write because I want people to understand me
without seeing inside my soul.
I write because I'm too screwed up
to let people know who I am
inside,
so I let the paper tell my story.
I have no choice.
I write to tell people who I love,
what I love,
what I hate,
and who I hate.
I write because I'm tangible, I'm real,
I write because I'm a realist.
I write because things anger me,
because I'm not taken seriously,
because words spoken aloud lose the power they possess
on paper.
I write because I want to make a difference.
I write becase I don't care what other people think
but I don't want to hear it nine times out of ten.
I write because sometimes I don't care but
I feel I should react.
I write because subconsciously it's all I have.
I write because the words come
and when the words dry up
I won't write anymore.
I'll just die.
I write because words are the only thing I can let myself
believe in,
not the empty promises behind them.
I write because people let me down.
I write because I can't trust,
because I have things to say.
I write because words are a shield,
and because sometimes I believe in my ability
to affect mankind,
and because I want to.
More than anything I write because I have to
because I want to make a difference to someone~
to anyone~
because I want people to listen to me
and to understand.
I write because
that's who I am.
Written December 8, 1999
(© 1997 by RRV)
*Notes: I had to write this for an English assignment. My teacher put a few comments on my paper and they ran something like this: "Nice rhyme and rhythm at the end ~ you seem to come to rest as the poem finishes, which is very effective. This is good work. There are some nicely repeated themes and images. You cite reasons why you write, without going into what's behind those reasons, so I am curious, but since the same distance is kept throughout the piece, it does work." I got an A on the piece and came to the conclusion that my teacher is a moron. I spelled out every reason I could think of for why I write. Really, I write because I have to, because it's who I am and I can't survive without it. What else can I say...?*
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Background was found on Moosenugget's Page and I thank him greatly.
